Prompt #1: 

Describe your ability to utilize the BURN CLEAN Model (or the difficulty you
had using it).  

The first time I tried to use the Burn Clean Model it turned into more of an argument. My
co-worker and I went back and forth and me being assertive turned into me avoiding the
problem. Once I took a minute to go over the step of the model again, I had a much
better second attempt. I tend to try and avoid conflict anytime it arises, so this
technique is harder for me because it centers on confronting a problem instead of
ignoring it.

Prompt #2: Describe the difference between using BURN CLEAN and not using BURN

CLEAN.  

When you use Burn Clean there is less chance that the person you are talking to will
misunderstand you. You lay out what happened, how it made you feel, how you feel
about the other person, the change you want to see, and what will happen if the problem
is or isn’t fixed. You are telling them exactly what you feel and need in a respectful way.
When you don’t use Burn Clean there are so many opportunities for misunderstanding
on both sides. And when misunderstandings happen there is a better chance that
someone will get upset or offended.

Prompt #3: Were you able to identify the EVENT?  Were you able to identify
your REACTION? Describe the EVENT and the REACTION.

I was able to identify the event and my reaction both times I practiced with my co-
worker. The first time I strayed from the Burn Clean Model, but the second time I was
able to make it through. (This scenario happens a lot at my job so my partner/co-worker
thought it would be a good example to practice with.) In a meeting we had at work my
co-worker told our boss that I told her to do something one way which ended up causing
a problem, when in fact I had told her to do it a different way. I waited until after the
meeting and then asked her if we could speak privately. I explained to her that in the
meeting she told our boss that I told her to do a task one way, when in fact I had told her
a different way to do it that would have resulted in the proper information going out. I
told her that it makes me feel upset that she would blame me for a mistake that
happened and frustrated because this isn’t the first time that she hasn’t listened to my
instructions. I let her know that I do enjoy working with her and that I know she is a hard
worker. I told her that I wanted her to actually listen to and follow my instructions when I
give them because when I do give instructions it’s because there is specific information
that needs to go out or a specific way something has to be done. I also told her that I
wanted her to own up to her mistakes and not blame others, as we are all responsible
for our own mistakes. I then explained that if she continues to ignore my instructions
and/or lie about it to our boss I will have to start putting everything in writing and then
taking my problems to our boss. I would rather work as a team as opposed to separate
individuals all working in the same place.

Prompt #4: Were you able to use "I" messages?  Did you Rehearse?

The first time (when it didn’t go well) I started with an “I” message but then turned into
blaming coming from me and arguing coming from my partner. The second time it was
easier to use “I” messages. I did rehearse between the first and second attempts.

Prompt #5: Describe how successfully or unsuccessfully your partner used the BURN

CLEAN Model.  

Just like me my partner started to argue with me instead of remaining calm and
following the Burn Clean method. Once I had her look over the model again and practice
“I” messages she was able to go through the different steps successfully. She actually
wants to continue trying out this method in our office.

Prompt #6: What connection do you see between "Spitting Out the Hook," H.E.A.R.,
and BURN CLEAN?

All of these different methods of conflict management rely heavily on listening and
taking a few moments before reacting. You need to give your Neocortex some time to
activate in order to formulate a response. Whether that response is trying to figure out
how the other person is feeling, relaying your understanding of what the person just
said, or letting them know how you are feeling, you need to take that moment. These
methods also rely on being observant of body language. Body language can tell you a
lot about how someone is feeling with any words being spoken.