Prompt #1: Describe your ability to utilize the BURN CLEAN Model (or the difficulty you had

using it).
I was successful using the Burn Clean model. My first partner understood what I needed to talk
about and my feelings towards the situation. The part that I had difficulty with, was coming into
the conversation with an assertive approach instead of avoiding the conversation altogether. I
typically avoid conflicts, but this course has helped me understand that doing so is a disservice
to myself and the other party. It is important to speak up for oneself to avoid further conflicts.
Once I practiced the Burn Clean model with the second partner, it was a lot easier and felt more
natural.

Prompt #2: Describe the difference between using BURN CLEAN and not using BURN
CLEAN.
Using the Burn Clean model helps an individual express what they are feeling, thinking or what
they have been holding in. The conversation allows for honest communication with the goal of
understanding one another. Additionally, you express what you are hoping to gain from having
the conversation, whether good or bad. Not using this model leans individuals towards an
avoiding or aggressive approach. The goal is to be centered when going into the conversation.
The Burn Model is ultimately an approach to help heal a relationship or find a solution to a
conflict.

Prompt #3: Were you able to identify the EVENT? Were you able to identify
your REACTION? Describe the EVENT and the REACTION.
Partner #1: I spoke to my brother because my nephew was constantly “play” punching my son
during our weekend visit. When I first noticed it, I assumed my son was unbothered, so I did not
think much of it. However, as the day went on, I could tell my son was becoming annoyed. As
much as I wanted to avoid the conversation, I had to speak to my brother about it because I was
getting frustrated by the situation. This model came in the best timing for the situation.

Partner #2: I practiced the model with my dad because he offered to help me fix my broken
water machine and we agreed on a day he would come over to do it. However, when the day
came, he did not show up. I called him and he said he was running late so I waited and never
heard from him for the rest of the day. I was annoyed because I cancelled afternoon plans to
wait for him.

Prompt #4: Were you able to use "I" messages? Did you Rehearse?
In both scenarios I made sure to use the “I” messages as a way to explain the purpose for
having the conversation. With partner 1 I said, “ I am bringing this up to you because I hope you
can have a conversation with your son so the boys can continue getting along and looking
forward to seeing each other.” With partner 2 I said, “I hope that in the future we can plan better
so that both of us can be on the same page of when you’ll be coming over”. I rehearsed the
conversation with that I had with partner 1 because I knew his reaction could go one of two
ways.

Prompt #5: Describe how successfully or unsuccessfully your partner used the BURN
CLEAN Model.
I reviewed the Burn Clean model with my husband, and he did a great job at implementing it. I
used the 3 page document in the module to explain the model. He only felt uneasy during step
5, explaining his positive consequence. I had to give him some examples of what that sounded
like, and he was able to come up with his own during his exercise.

Prompt #6: What connection do you see between "Spitting Out the Hook," H.E.A.R.,
and BURN CLEAN?
The biggest connection I see between these three models is that the person practicing them
must be self-aware of their feelings and reactions. After having a tough interaction, these
models help the person internalize what has happened, process it and consider the best way
forward. The models also help reduce an impulsive reaction because it typically makes the
situation worse. The person on the other end of these conversations, are also given respect
while using these approaches.