Destructive Obsession

http://www.senrusen.net:80/fics/s/do/1.
html
Go
MAY JUN JUL
Previous capture 17 Next capture
2007 2008 2009
3 captures
17 Jun 2008 - 2 Jul 2008
About this capture
A DESTRUCTIVE OBSESSION
Part One: A Dangerous Freshman
by Sakura
"Hey Sendoh! Let's go check out the newbies! You would never know if some dangerous
freshman joined the team…" Mitsui slapped the taller guy's shoulder roughly, "why the hell are
you in a daze for? Did some hot chick just walk past?" Mitsui made a show of looking around
the corridor, then laughed loudly, "nope no hot chicks I am afraid, but that doesn't matter to
you, does it, Sendoh? After all, you are only interested in guys." Mitsui jabbed him with his
elbow playfully.
"Just like you, Mitsui-san, no wonder you guys always hang out together. You both have the
same interests."
They both turned around, and look downward at their shorter friend. "Well Miyagi, maybe you
should become one of us too, since you still have no luck with your Aya-chan." Mitsui teased.
"Who are you talking to, Mitsui? I don't see anyone!" Sendoh wondered aloud, scratching his
head as he pretended he couldn't see the shorter point guard.
Miyagi stomped on Sendoh's large feet angrily, "don't see anyone, huh, Sendoh. Must be
getting blind… then I guess I shouldn't bother asking you if you have seen Rukawa Kaede then."
Miyagi started to walk away when two hands reached out to grab him by the shoulder and
pulled him back.
"Rukawa Kaede?" Mitsui echoed, "That annoying freshman we used to be team mates with
back at Shohoku?"
"Yes, Mitsui-san, that Rukawa Kaede, the freshman you lost to during a one on one match three
years ago. Miyagi slyly reminded him, "Well, now he is back , maybe you guys can have another
one on one…" he suggested, knowing that was Mitsui's sore point. He had never forgotten how
he lost the title of "Shohoku's ace" and neither did Miyagi let him forget.
Mitsui scowled, "oh that cheeky dude. Well it should be nice to see a familiar face I guess, and
besides if I remember, min-kun used to favor that boy too, so he should be quite happy."
Mitsui's face brightened at the mention of Kogure and forgot about the embarrassment of
losing to a guy two years younger for a while and turned to disturb Sendoh.
"Well Sendoh, if Rukawa is really here as Miyagi says, then the person who should be the most
worried is you." Mitsui jabbed a long finger at Sendoh's face taking him aback.
Sendoh blinked, "why should I be worried?" he asked.
"Because. Rukawa. Hates. You." Miyagi pronounced every word carefully.

"He has always considered you his biggest arch rival." Mitsui added.
"And he wants to beat you so he can be the best." A voice put in, "at least that's what he firmly
believes in."
The three guys whirled around to the direction of the new voice.
"Sakuragi!" they chorused.
"Even though I think he should be training to beat me first!" Sakuragi laughed, "Because I am
the tensai! But I guess small people must aim low…" He sighed in mock sorrow.
"Hanamichi!" Miyagi rushed forward to embrace his good friend, "why are you here? Is your
back alright now? Are you joining the basketball team?"
And so due to the interruption of Sakuragi Hanamichi, all thoughts of Rukawa Kaede flew out of
the three basketball player's head as they grilled the red head they haven't heard from in the
last two years.
But all day long, Sendoh felt a dread weighing him down, and a feeling that there is some
unknown threat lurking around.
When it was finally time for basketball practice, Sendoh pushed all unwelcome thoughts out of
his head and prepared himself mentally for the grueling practice that will follow. That's the way
it has always been for the talented forward: he never bothered his good looking head of
annoying worries that would have no solutions, rather than brood over it, he prefer to just
leave it and let the problems work themselves out, or if they don't, leave them at the back of
his mind until they no longer seem pressing. It's a policy that Sendoh has been living by all his
life and up until now, it has always work, the handsome player is seldom if ever seen without a
ready and easygoing smile on his chiseled face.
/Even when Rukawa ended our friendship that evening, this way of living hasn't let me down…
Friends come and go, I understood perfectly, and since it was something out of my control… it
didn't wipe the smile off my face, but still I can't deny that it was quite a pity, he was a great
companion/
Sendoh bounced the ball on the court and then brought it above his head to aim for a three
point shot, when a hand shot out of nowhere to hit the ball out of his hands. Too shocked to
react, he could only watch as the mysterious person gracefully dribbled the ball down the court
and swished the ball in a powerful slam dunk that left the hoop vibrating with the force even
after he landed softly on the court.
/That speed in dribbling, the grace and strength in his slam dunk, the lightness of his landing… it
could only be…/
The mysterious player turned around to stare coldly at Sendoh, his light blue eyes glittering
with challenge and defiance. He held out two fingers. "Two nil." He announced arrogantly.
Out of nowhere, screams echoed in the gym and the doors were practically knocked down as
hordes of screaming girls streamed into the gym, all cheering Rukawa's name. Within seconds,
Rukawa found himself surrounded by high pitch voices telling him their names and offering to
show him around the school.
Across the gym, the basketball captains Maki and Akagi were valiantly trying to stop more girls
from rushing into the courts. Screams and growls resounded and echoed in the gym but
Rukawa paid no attention to them.
"What do you all think you are doing to our new star player, huh? Back off y'all! Give that guy
some room to breathe!" A cheerful voice called out.
And above the heads of the swarming girls, Rukawa met the eyes of the person he hasn't seen
in a year. A person he considered his biggest arch rival.
"Sendoh Akira." he pronounced coldly.
"Yo Rukawa-kun! Glad you still remember! It's been a while, ne?"
Rukawa narrowed his eyes. "Enough of the small talk, Sendoh. I am here in Kanagawa
University solely for one reason."
"Oh? What is that then?"
"To win you in basketball so I can be the best."
Sendoh smiled, "you are still as competitive as ever, Rukawa-kun."
Rukawa pushed through the horde of girls and stopped right in front of Sendoh, staring up at
the taller player with eyes so cold, the air around the two seemed to have froze.
"I won't lose to you again."
"Since when did you ever lose to me?"

Rukawa kept silent. He refused to repeat what he overheard the judges say, it was too
humiliating. /Not just in basketball too… but in other matters as well… I always seem to be the
loser/ Rukawa fumed inwardly.
"All the time." He said cryptically before stalking off leaving a bewildered Sendoh behind.
/Forget about the other matters… what other matters anyway? There's only one issue between
Sendoh and I and that is Basketball/ Rukawa slammed a fist against a wall. /Nothing else.../
___________________________
Go » Side Story One | A Dangerous Freshman
Go » Part Two | Immovable
Back » Prologue | Hurt Imprint
Go » Index | A Destructive Obsession
=====≠=============
http://www.senrusen.net:80/fics/s/do/1s.html
Go
MAY JUN JUL
2007 2008 2009

1 capture
17 Jun 2008
About this capture
Side Story One: A Dangerous Freshman
by Sakura
Maki pushed the last hysterical girl out of the gym, slammed the door shut and breathed a sigh
of relief.
“What tiring work, even before practice…” he grumbled.
“It’s all that stupid Rukawa’s fault! I just know that guy is bad news.”
Maki didn’t need to look to know who the voice belonged to. It was a familiar voice that he
heard whining into his ear every single day when he was a senior at Kainan high and Kiyota
Nobunaga was only a freshman.
Without thinking, he reached out to ruffle Kiyota's wild mane, an action he was accustomed to
two years ago. It was an action that Kiyota seemed to like two years ago and that’s why Maki
was surprised to hear groans of protest from him now.
“Maki! I am no longer a kid!” He complained, trying to tidy up his mussed hair.
No longer a kid? Maki smiled to himself. Although Kiyota may claim otherwise but he doesn’t
realize that he was whining in the same way he did two years ago. Maki took a step backwards
to examine his younger friend.
“You have grown taller, Kiyota, and stronger too. How tall are you now? Around 185?” Maki
asked.
“Nope. 184. the same height as you were when you were still a senior in Kainan,” Kiyota looked
at Maki in the eye confidently, in a manner which he didn’t used to before, “when you were still
my mentor.”
“Oh? So now I am no longer a mentor?” Maki raised an eyebrow, “you don’t need a mentor
anymore?”
“It’s not that…” Kiyota's voice trailed off, he broke the eye contact and then continued softly,
“it’s just that I hoped you could be someone else other than just my mentor…”
Maki assessed the younger boy quietly for a moment before placing a hand on top of his head
lightly and told him, “yeah… maybe I could…” he mussed the long hair, “or maybe I couldn’t…”
Kiyota didn’t make a sound and neither did he reach up to smoothen his hair. He just froze,
waiting for Maki to say more.
“Let’s start practice. I want to see how much you have improved, Kiyota.” Maki lifted his hand
and walked ahead of Kiyota towards the basketball court. “Come on, what are you still waiting
for? Or do you want to run twenty rounds first?”
“Coming!” Kiyota jogged towards his captain. /This is just like old times… just like how it was in
the past… and just how I like it./
Maki sighed to himself when he heard the familiar jogging sounds behind him. /Those eager
running steps…/ In the past, Maki would just continue walking away at his usual fast pace,
leaving the younger Kiyota to try to catch up the best he could but this time, Maki paused in his
tracks.
/What a troublesome guy./
He turned around. “Hurry up, Kiyota.” He called out as he waited for the freshman. To his
surprise, Kiyota reached his side in a flash. “Your speed has improved a lot, Kiyota!” he praised
the beaming player.
/What a dangerous freshman./
/And it’s not just because of his amazing improvement in basketball./
/He seemed to have improved in other… areas as well./
/Or is it because I now see him in a different light, no longer as a kid brother?/
Maki slung an arm around Kiyota and together they walked along side by side. He found that
due to some absurd reason, he was in a really good mood today.
He looked down to meet the smiling the face of Kiyota, not realizing that he too wore a smile
on his usually stern face.
/What a dangerous freshman./
___________________________
Go » Part Two | Immovable
Back » Part One | A Dangerous Freshman
======================
http://www.senrusen.net:80/fics/s/do/2.html
Go
MAY JUN JUL
2007 2008 2009
1 capture
17 Jun 2008
About this capture
Part Two: Immovable
by Sakura
“And he scores!” Mitsui jumped up from his comfortable seat on the small couch he was
sharing with Kogure to slap a high five with Hanagata. The four juniors: Mitsui, Kogure, Fujima
and Hanagata were watching the J-league in the common dorm room on a rare night without
basketball training.
“Say, where are the rest? Akagi, Maki, Sendoh, Miyagi… oh and the freshmen Sakuragi and
Rukawa?” Kogure asked suddenly, trying to distract Mitsui and Hanagata from the game hoping
they would forget that Fujima and he now owe them a free breakfast each.
“Oh yeah, I wonder where they are too, its strange not to see their faces on a week night.
Usually we would all be hanging out.” Fujima chimed in, catching on to Kogure’s plan. “And
then Akagi and Maki would be totally grossed out when Mitsui tries to steal a kiss from Kogure
san while Sendoh will be busy counseling Miyagi on his latest love problems with Ayako san.”
“You are right… it is strange. And now that the three freshmen Sakuragi, Rukawa and Kiyota are
here, I thought we would be spending even more time together chatting about old times.”
Hanagata said thoughtfully, pushing up his glasses.
“Don’t do that Hanagata, you look like an old man.” Mitsui told his taller friend. “Anyway, allow
me to enlighten you guys: Miyagi and Ayako are on a date, he came to borrow a tie from me
just now. Akagi went out to chaperon Sakuragi’s so called date with Haruko which is actually
just to help her move into her hostel much to that red head’s dismay, he was complaining to
me just a while ago. Maki went out with his child prodigy Kiyota, and oh yeah, I suspect things
are not as simple between those two, but that’s just a hunch. As for Rukawa, well, I saw him
carrying his basketball just now so I guess he is probably regretting that there is no practice
tonight and went off for his own training. Now who else are we left with…”
“Didn’t know you are such a gossip, Mitsui san…” Sendoh drawled, leaning against the
doorframe and smiling at the company.
“Oh Sendoh! Well, that’s right you are the only one left. So where are you off to?” Mitsui
questioned, then with a glint in his eyes when he saw what Sendoh was wearing, “let me
guess… off to play basketball as well?”
Sendoh laughed. “Right, now that the MVP has joined our team, I gotta practice more or else I
won’t be able to be touted as the ‘ace’ for much longer.”
“Since when were you even touted as the ace, Sendoh?” Mitsui snorted.
“See ya guys…” Sendoh waved. “Oh yeah, Mitsui and Hanagata… don’t do anything I won’t
do…” he winked playfully and quickly walked out of the room before the cushions the two guys
threw could hit him.
Sendoh walked in the direction of the basketball court, not at all surprised when he saw that
the lights were on. /Looks like Mitsui’s gossip network is really accurate… he is really here/
Sendoh opened the door to the gym softly, not wanting to make a grand entrance but
apparently it wasn’t soft enough for Rukawa was staring at him when he walked in, as if he was
waiting for him.
“Hey Rukawa-kun.” Sendoh smiled at the raven haired player and then whistled softly, “you
look… really… well, warmed up.”
Rukawa was wearing his basketball jersey and shorts and he was practically soaked in his own
perspiration. Obviously, he just conducted a long and grueling practice. Sendoh picked up a
random ball on the court and started to twirl it around his finger. “How about a game, Rukawa-
kun?”
Rukawa cocked his head to one side as if he was seriously considering the offer, “why?” he
asked softly, his eyes clouding over, “because playing with me can help you improve?” he asked
sarcastically. /Why am I still so bothered by what he said two years ago? Why do I still care?
Why do his words still sting so much?/ Rukawa grabbed a ball and threw it to Sendoh, hard.
“Come on then.” He said angrily.
The ball hit Sendoh’s abdomen but his smile remained intact. “Twenty points to win.”
And so the intense one on one game began.

And it ended with Rukawa’s graceful lay up while Sendoh panted at the sidelines.
“What a game.” Sendoh said, a little breathless. “You have improved a lot, Rukawa. I must
watch out now… a real ace has joined the team.” He held out a hand for Rukawa to shake.
But Rukawa only look at the offered hand with distaste. He tried to look for any insincerity in
Sendoh’s smile but could found none. Reluctantly, he reached out his own hand to shake
Sendoh’s one but at the last moment, he slapped it away rudely.
Sendoh did not recoil from the blow, he merely stares at Rukawa calmly, waiting for him to say
something.
And that just irked Rukawa more, he wanted Sendoh to kick up a fuss, to tell him something
that is neither friendly nor encouraging. He could not stand the fact that Sendoh could affect
him, affect his mood and play so much while he could not even ruffle a single strand of his hair,
much less than stir up any emotion in him.
“I hate you.” He said irrationally, knowing he sounds incredibly childish but he could not stop
himself.
Sendoh waited patiently for him to continue.
“I hated you. And now I hate you even more. You know why I came to this school right? I came
here because I wanted to pay you back for all the humiliation of losing to you. I want to beat
you flat.”
“And now you have.” Sendoh told him, “You just did. 20 to 18 in your favour.” He smiled and
then turning away from Rukawa’s burning gaze, proceeded to pick up the balls Rukawa left
strewn all over the basketball courts. “Come on and help me, Rukawa. We still have the floor to
mop as well, or else Akagi and Maki will have our heads tomorrow.”
/How can you just ignore my emotional outburst like that? How can you just turn away and pick
up those stupid balls as if I did not just say those awful things? Rukawa wanted to ask Sendoh
but he kept it inside, what’s the point of asking? He would probably just shrug and say
something like ‘I am not offended’ which would probably make me feel even worst/
“Oh by the way Rukawa, haven’t heard from you in such a long time, have you gotten yourself a
girlfriend? You used to say you aren’t interested in relationships and all you cared about was
basketball but you are 18 now! You must have a girlfriend now, don’t you? Do introduce to me
someday… but sadly I wont be able to double date with you cuz well Koshino and I were
finished since we graduated from Ryonan and I haven’t found anyone else up till now.” Sendoh
laughed ruefully, “maybe Miyagi is rubbing off me, I am getting quite as cowardly as him, as
Mitsui likes to say, but that guy can afford to laugh at us… after all he and Kogure are still so
steady after all these years and did you know that-”
“No I don’t know and I don’t want to know!” Rukawa yelled frustrated.
Sendoh fell silent.
For a moment, Rukawa looked at his bowed head worriedly, /Is he angry?/ He opened his
mouth about to apologize for his rudeness but Sendoh beat him to it.
“Oh sorry Rukawa, I guess you don’t want to hear all that now, I mean you must be tired and
you would probably want to finish cleaning up ASAP.” Sendoh threw the last stray ball into the
box of balls. He straightened up, met Rukawa’s eyes and smiled. “Well, let’s mop the floor then
lock up and go.”
Rukawa bit on his tongue to prevent himself from hurling out vulgarities. He took a deep breath
to calm himself down.
“Say, maybe we could have a couple of beers later and then chat some more, what do you
say?” Sendoh whistled cheerfully as he handed one mop to Rukawa.
Rukawa ignored the mop and willed Sendoh to look at him.
As if sensing the tension, Sendoh finally stop whistling and look at Rukawa, a serious expression
on his face.
“How do you do that? Just pretend nothing happened and even ask me out for a couple of beer
to chat!” he mimicked sarcastically, “didn’t you hear a thing I said just now?”
“I heard.” Sendoh told him, “You hate me.” He deadpanned.
Rukawa threw up his hands, frustrated, “then why are you still so friendly?” he demanded.
“Just because you hate me, doesn’t mean I have to hate you back.”
Rukawa looked at Sendoh in disbelief.
“I can’t help it if you hate me, but I am not a person to hate another or even to dislike him just
because I am not his favorite person.” Sendoh shrugged, “besides, I never hated a person
before, and I am not about to start now.”
He left the mop on the floor at Rukawa’s feet and then turned away, whistling again as he
quickly mop the basketball courts.
“You mop court 1 and 2, I will do 3 and 4.” He told Rukawa over his shoulder.
Rukawa sighed in defeat and they cleaned up in silence.
/Once again, I am the loser. Always the loser…/
___________________________
Go » Side Story Two | Immovable
Go » Part Three | Because I Want To
Back » Part One | A Dangerous Freshman
=====================
Go
MAY JUN JUL
2007 2008 2009

1 capture
17 Jun 2008
About this capture
Side Story Two: Immovable
by Sakura
Fujima hummed along to the blaring radio as he prepared breakfast in the small dorm kitchen.
It turned out that all the distractions he and Kogure offered last night really worked, Hanagata
totally forgot about the bet they made.
But Fujima was also determined to honour his bet and give a pleasant surprise to Hanagata. He
smiled a very self satisfied smile when he tasted the bacon he just fried, “excellent!” he said
aloud.
Five minutes later, he arranged everything neatly on a tray and proceeded to bring it to
Hanagata. /Breakfast in bed… Toru-kun will be really touched!/
He knocked on the door gently, “Toru? Are you awake yet?”
There was no answer.
Fujima tested the lock and found the door unlocked. He went into the neat room and found it
empty. The bed was made and Hanagata’s backpack was missing.
Fujima went to the desk and peered at the time table Hanagata pinned up on the bulletin board
above his desk. “No, he doesn’t have a lesson. So where could he possibly be?”
He put down the tray and sat down heavily on the soft bed, disappointed. /After all the trouble
I went to, waking up early and getting excited all for nothing!/ He sighed and punched the
pillow. “Stupid Hanagata” he grumbled, even though he knew that it was not his fault either, he
didn’t know Fujima was going to send him breakfast in the morning.
Fujima left the tray on the table and went back to his own room to change, to get ready for
school. He still felt a little sore about the breakfast surprise but he figured he can always do it
another time, making sure of course that he would be in his room.
Before he left for his classes, Fujima detoured to Hanagata’s room. /Just to check if he is back
already…/ he opened the door softly and to his surprise, found a long haired girl sitting on the
desk chair, helping herself to the breakfast Fujima prepared. Indignant, Fujima pushed the door
all the way in and stormed into the room about to give that a girl a piece of his mind when he
noticed a guy rummaging in his closet.
“Toru?”
The guy stuck his head out and smiled when he saw Fujima. “Oh hey Kenji!”
“Where were you just now?”
“Oh I was mentoring my new pupil, that’s her: Fuuko-chan.”
The girl turned to face Fujima and she waved, “hey, I am Fuuko. You must be Fujima. You make
a mean breakfast. It’s really good!”
Fujima stalked to her side and grabbed the knife and fork from her roughly. “Who gave you
permission to eat my breakfast?”
“Hanagata sempai said to help myself since I was so hungry…” She explained meekly.
“What!” Fujima cried, aghast.
She kept quiet and appealed to Hanagata for help.
Hanagata continued searching among his pile of books, and told Fujima, his voice muffled,
“what’s the big deal Kenji? I wasn’t hungry and she was.”
“What’s the big deal? What’s the big deal?” Fujima repeated incredulous, “of course it’s a big
deal! I spent a lot of time and effort to make this especially for you and you just gave it away so
casually!” he said, miffed.
“Well.”
“I am hoping mad here, and you can only manage a ‘well’?” Fujima demanded. “You are one
immovable idiot, Hanagata Toru!” Fujima stormed out of the room and slammed the door
behind him loudly.
Hanagata finally poked his head out of the closet, holding a battered chemistry textbook, “I
finally found it!” he told Fuuko triumphantly. “Hey, where’s Kenji?” he looked around the room,
bewildered.
Fuuko sighed, “Hanagata sempai, I am not sure if you are really immovable or if you are just an
idiot.”
Hanagata brows were knotted. “Huh?”

___________________________
Go » Part Three | Because I Want To
Back » Part Two | Immovable
================
Go
MAY JUN JUL
2007 2008 2009
1 capture
17 Jun 2008
About this capture
Part Three: Because I Want To
by Sakura
/I hate you/
/I hate you/
/I hate you/
Those childish words kept resounding in Rukawa’s mind, as if it’s a broken record, playing and
replaying on its own and there is no way to stop it. He put his hands on his ears and shook his
head vehemently, but he could still hear his own cold voice telling Sendoh those three words.
“Kuso…” he swore under his breath, “doaho Kaede.”
“Oh? The Kitsune actually scolds himself! So a fox knows what self realization is after all.”
Sakuragi threw a sandwich at Rukawa’s face. “Here you go, bet you could do with this. Skipping
lunch to think about matters that won’t have an answer is a stupid move especially since there
is grueling basketball practice later. Seriously, I thought Gori was bad enough in the past, and
now we have that senior, old man Maki! If not for Haruko san placing all her hopes on this
tensai to lead Kanagawa to victory, I would have quit the team!” Sakuragi burst into self
satisfied laughter but abruptly stopped when the fox eyed boy made no response, /Not even an
irritated sigh and shrug or a mumbled “doaho”. Something is definitely very wrong with this
Kitsune…/
“Oui, Rukawa.” He began awkwardly. /What the hell am I doing? Asking Rukawa to open up to
me?/ “Are you… erm, are you facing some problems? Well…” his voice trailed off.
“Don’t tell me you are offering me your monkey brain counsel.” Rukawa directed his sharp gaze
at the red head.
His intentions exposed, Sakuragi began to bluster, “Teme! Of course not! Why would I offer you
counsel? I was just… I was just, you know… and what the hell do you mean by monkey brain,
you stupid Kitsune!”
Rukawa continued looking at Sakuragi and to both their surprise, the ice king actually lifted up
the corners of his mouth in a poor imitation of a small smile and lightly punched his friend on
the arm. “Thanks…” he said very softly and then added, “doaho.”
Sakuragi looked indignant for a moment but soon the situation stuck him as hilarious and he
laughed. To his amazement, Rukawa joined in the laughter and that just made the red head
laughed even harder. Their hysterics attracted a lot of attention and some of the basketball
teammates walked over to their bench.
“What’s so funny, Sakuragi and Rukawa? Fancy seeing you laugh, Rukawa. What a surprise, so
you have a sense of humor too.” Mitsui teased.
“And why are you guys out here too? It’s so freaking hot! Now’s not the right season for
alfresco dining…” Kiyota informed the two guys then waved a hand in the general direction of
the canteen, “come on lets get in where there is some air con! Maki san is already there…” he
looked longingly at the canteen.
Sakuragi raised an eyebrow, “I thought a wild hair monkey like you should be used to this
tropical weather! If you just wanna be with Maki, then say so! We won’t laugh at your
lovesickness…” then betraying his own words, proceeded to point a long shaking finger at a
quivering Kiyota and giggled uncontrollably.
Unable to resist, Mitsui and Miyagi joined in, making “ooh” sounds as they nudged a tomato
faced Kiyota.
“now, stop teasing the poor guy!” Kogure put an arm on Mitsui’s shoulder as he tried to calm
the three boisterous guys, “Anyway, Kiyota is right, it is really hot outside, only Sendoh could
tolerate this heat and eat at his favourite tree! The rest of us mere mortals better get inside
where this is artificial cooling… Besides, we shouldn’t leave Maki alone too long with the
distraught Fujima, you know how impatient Maki can get about these relationship problems.”
Sakuragi’s ears perked up at the new piece of gossip, “Relationship problems? The bench
warmer argued with that four eyed dude?” he asked curiously.
But Rukawa was not interested in hearing about romantic entanglements. He was pondering
over what Kogure sempai had said. /Eat at his favorite tree…but where is it?/ He wanted to ask
but before he could grab the gentle bespectacled boy to ask, the whole group had started
walking to the cafeteria, all the while talking loudly about Fujima’s argument with Hanagata.
He sighed and turned the other way, in the direction of the large campus courtyard. He strolled
along, letting the light summer breeze ruffle his long bangs and clear his confused head.
/Although I did win that one on one last night, but that doesn’t mean anything… he may not
have played his best. I need to have another game with him… soon… I need to know if I have
really beaten him. If my hard work has paid off and if I have really left him in my dust…
revenge… pay him back for all the humiliation. He paused on his tracks. But what humiliation
exactly? Because of what others say about him being a better player than me? Or is it because
of something else… something else that happened a long time ago… something he said that
hurt me… and still hurts me…/
Suddenly an apple fell on top of his head, disrupting his thoughts. He bent down to pick up the
red fruit and then look out at the tree he was standing under.
“Ah, Sumimasen, Rukawa kun. Did it hurt you? Well you can have it as my apology then.”
/Sendoh…/
Rukawa tossed the fruit back to its owner who caught it easily. He placed both hands on the
lowest branch to test its strength and when he was sure it could take his weight, started to
climb up to where Sendoh was sitting. Moments later, he stood on a branch and was looking up
slightly at a smiling Sendoh who was sitting on a strong branch higher than the one he stood on
and leaning against the rough bark of the huge tree.
Sendoh wiped the dirt off the fallen apple with his shirt and held it out to Rukawa, an inviting
smile on his face. “Come on, take it and sit down. Its great weather to just lounge in the cool
shade of the tree and crunch apples while admiring the greenness of the leaves especially
against the clear blue sky with nary a cloud in sight!” he chuckled, “but that’s my own opinion. I
know people who prefer a cloudy sky. They say they can see shapes in the clouds! What about
you, Rukawa?”
Rukawa looked at the offered apple as if it was a poisonous fruit. “Why?” he asked, a hostile
note in his voice, “why are you… being so friendly? Have you forgotten the fact that we are
rivals… that… I hate you… how can you simply pretend last night’s confrontation didn’t exist
and talk about the sky to me?”
“I did not forget.” Sendoh said calmly. “Like I said, just because you hate me doesn’t mean I
have to hate you back. Besides…”
“Besides what?”
“Besides… I kinda like you in fact.” He smiled widely, “I mean, what’s there not to like?” He
pushed the apple nearer to Rukawa, silently urging him to accept it.
But Rukawa still did not, somehow he felt that the apple had a symbolic purpose. If he accepted
it, it would mean he accepted Sendoh’s offered friendship and the stubborn Rukawa refused.
He nudged the hand which was holding the apple further away from him, with the intention of
telling Sendoh that he doesn’t want it. But apparently, he did it with too much force and
Sendoh dropped the apple again.
Without thinking, both of them dived for the apple and both caught it at the same instant.
Now their faces only inches apart, their right hands both on the same apple, they were so close
they could hear each other’s breathing.
And Rukawa was breathing fast.
All of a sudden, Sendoh leaned forward, closing the remaining distance between them and
gently kissed Rukawa on the lips.
A split second later, it was over and Rukawa remained frozen while Sendoh resumed his seat on
the branch above Rukawa and calmly bit into the rescued apple.
Rukawa looked at his spiky haired rival, his blue eyes wide with shock. The kiss had left his lips
tingling and his mind in shock.
“Why… why did you do that?” He stammered nervously.
Sendoh crunched his apple thoughtfully and then shrugged, “because I want to.”
“Because you want to?” Rukawa repeated incredulous. “You can’t go around kissing anybody
just because you want to!” /Was this guy for real? Is he open minded or just dense?/
“I know and I don’t. I mean, you don’t see me like kissing say… Sakuragi, do you? But you are
not just anybody.” Sendoh explained, still munching on the apple, “how do I explain it? You are,
well you are you. You are Rukawa. And that’s why I kissed you.”
Rukawa didn’t respond, for once he did not have a ready reply, a sarcastic comeback, he was
truly dumbfounded.
“Want a bite, Rukawa? The apple’s really juicy.” Sendoh offered the half eaten apple at Rukawa
and cocked his head expectantly.
Sendoh’s encouraging smile pushed all the conflicting thoughts out of Rukawa’s head and the
willowy raven haired boy found himself taking the apple out of Sendoh’s hand.
He looked at the half eaten apple for a long moment before taking a small bite out of it. He
chewed slowly and then swallowed, all the while with Sendoh leaning forward to stare intently
at him.
He looked into Sendoh’s deep set eyes.
“Well?” Sendoh asked, eyebrows raised.
Unconscious of the small smile that is spreading across his normally stoic face, Rukawa took
another bite, “it’s very… juicy. And sweet.”
“Youkatta ne…” Sendoh fell back to lean against the tree again and tilt his head to look at the
sky.
“I like…” Rukawa started as he too looked up at the sky, “I like the sky better when it’s clear.”
Sendoh smiled. “So do I, Kaede. I like it better that way too.”
___________________________
Go » Part Four | Date
Back » Part Two | Immovable

=========================
Go
MAY JUN JUL
2007 2008 2009
1 capture
17 Jun 2008
About this capture
Part Four: Date
by Sakura
“I rule under the basket! Watch the tensai make a perfect shot!” Sakuragi leapt into the air,
holding the ball high and aimed for the basket. “Left hand just assisting…” he mumbled to
himself. Even after two years, what Gori taught him still remained firmly imprint in his mind and
although he never would admit it, it became the key factor as to whether he would make the
shot.
He threw out the ball, grinning as he watched the ball make a smooth arc and began falling in
the direction of the basket. He knew that it would be a successful toss. However, out of
nowhere, a giant hand reached out to smack the ball off its course. Sakuragi’s grin fell especially
when he heard the familiar roar and recognized the familiar move which resembled a giant fly
flap smacking an insect.
“Gori!” he growled. “How dare you disrupt the tensai!”
“You rule under the basket?” Akagi glared at the red head freshman, “try again 100 hundred
years later!”
“Sakuragi! Hurry and get back to defense!” Maki shouted.
The Kanagawa University Basketball team were having a practice game among themselves and
much to Sakuragi’s dismay, he was in the same team as Maki, Kiyota and Hanagata although
having Mitsui, an ex team mate was a comfort to him. /I would rather be in that kitsune’s… I
mean with Ryochin and the bench warmer… even if it means being in the same team as Gori
and that stupid Sendoh./
“Rukawa got the ball!” Kiyota shouted as he ran to match up against the taller forward. “Hey
you red head monkey! Cant you defend properly?”
“What the hell are you talking about? I am the tensai in defense!” Sakuragi shouted as he went
forward to join Kiyota.
“Two versus one!” Kogure exclaimed in alarm, /They predicted that Rukawa will attack all by
himself! Shoot! Having Sakuragi in the opponent’s team is really damaging, he is familiar with
our style of playing already./ “Pass, Rukawa!” he shouted to his team mate even though he
knew it was impossible, the raven haired freshman would never pass to anybody but always
charge in himself.
But today, the impossible did happen.

Rukawa did a fake and passed the ball out to Sendoh Akira, of all people.
“Nice pass!” Sendoh cheered as he dribbled the ball and made a successful lay up.
He turned towards Rukawa who already held out his hand for a high five. When the sound of
palms slapping against each other was heard, the entire court froze. Even Maki did not throw
out the ball to begin the game anew.
“Rukawa just a passed a ball.”
“And to Sendoh!”
Nobody could believe it but they all saw it.
When Basketball practice ended an hour later, they were still talking about that particular pass
and the subsequent plays which featured the two aces in an incredible partnership.
“Now, now who would have thought that those two are the hottest partners around? They
even surpass you and Hanagata, Fujima!” Mitsui marveled, nudging the slim junior year
student.
Hanagata look at stony faced Fujima sadly, “at this point in time, anyone would surpass our
partnership…” he sighed.
Fujima frowned and retorted hotly, “that’s not true!” He softened his tone slightly when he met
Hanagata's eyes and saw the sorrow and regret in them, “it’s just that this time, Toru and I
weren’t in the same team, next time… we will beat them flat! After all their partnership is still
new and Toru and I have been together… I mean, as partners in basketball for the longest
time!” he looked Hanagata, “am I right, Toru-kun?”
Taking his cue, Hanagata reached over to take Fujima’s small hand, “absolutely right, Kenji.” He
said tenderly, then turning to address the group, “you would better watch out, Sendoh and…
Rukawa?”
He looked around the court but could see no sign of the spiky haired sophomore and the fox
eyed freshman.
“Where have they gone?” Akagi frowned, “I didn’t see them leave this court.”
“Neither did I,” Maki added, “Did anyone?”
Kiyota raised his hand meekly. “Um, Shinichi…”
All head swiveled towards him. “Shinichi?” they chorused in unison.
“I mean, Maki san…” Kiyota corrected himself hastily, “I saw them leave a while ago. They were
freshly showered and were dressed quite nicely… I heard Sendoh saying something about dying
to eat the soft shell crab…”
“Oh my god!” Miyagi exclaimed dramatically, “they are going on a date!”
Meanwhile, true to Miyagi’s words, Rukawa and Sendoh are out for dinner, a date as
considered by most’s standards although Sendoh himself seemed oblivious to the romantic
associations of this innocent outing.
“The food here is really great, isn’t it, Kaede?” Sendoh enthused, he held out a spoonful of his
cream of mushroom soup, “here, try this, its awesome!”
Rukawa hesitated. He looked around the restaurant and realized that practically all the
patronesses are in pairs. /All of them are couples here…/ he looked at the smiling face of
Sendoh Akira. /Are we considered a couple also?/
/Is this… is this like a date?/
He ignored the spoon and stared intently at the tall guy opposite him.
“Sendoh…I mean… Akira…” he began, /How should I put it to him?/ “Are we or are we not… you
know… I mean, what exactly are we?” his voice dropped a notch lower.
Sendoh looked at him with a puzzled expression on his face, “what exactly are we? What a
strange question! What do you want me to say? We are humans? We are men? We are
university students? We are basketball players?”
Rukawa resisted the urge to roll his eyes and dump the entire bowl of soup over Sendoh’s head.
“Forget it… lets just eat.” He shook his head at his own stupidity. /What exactly are we? Right,
smart question, Kaede…/ he berated himself silently.
They continued their dinner in silence until Sendoh started a conversation on their favorite NBA
team which Rukawa half heartedly joined in.
/This is well; this is no different from going out with say… Sakuragi!/ Rukawa sighed, feeling
strangely disappointed, /But on the other hand, what did I expect this… this dinner to be like?/
Beside their table on his right, Rukawa saw a guy reached over the table for his girlfriend’s
hand. And as he whispered something to her, he brought the girl’s hand to his lips and kissed
the engagement ring on it. From the corner of his eye, rukawa saw the girl smile radiantly, a
faint blush on her cheeks.
He groaned inwardly and turned to his left only to see the couple beside them making out
passionately.
He closed his eye momentarily before deciding to concentrate on the plate of pasta before him.
/What exactly do I want? What do I make of tonight?/ Rukawa was confused, he still was
unsure of his and Sendoh’s relationship at this point. /Are we considered friends? Or something
more…/
But most importantly, the nagging question on his mind is: /Is this a date?/
Suddenly, a waiter appeared beside their table interrupting Sendoh’s monologue on his
admiration for the LA Lakers and shook Rukawa out of his reverie.
“Sorry, you must have gotten the orders mixed up. We didn’t order any red wine.” Sendoh
informed him when the waiter set down an expensive bottle of wine with four glasses on their
table.
“Oh this bottle is from the two ladies over there. They say they would like to buy the both of
you a drink.”
Rukawa glared at the two smiling ladies who are already making their way to the table. Sendoh
dismissed the waiter and patiently waited for the ladies to arrive.
“Good evening. I hear this bottle of red wine is from the both of you?” Sendoh inquired politely.
They nodded and smiled. “Mind if we sit down?” one of them asked.
Rukawa was about to rudely reject them but Sendoh beat him to it.
“I am afraid we couldn’t accept your kind offer, Kaede here just turned eighteen not long ago
and cannot hold his liquor very well. And I am sure you ladies wouldn’t want to sit down
anyway, I mean, why would you two nice aunties want to interrupt two kids on a date?”
“On a date?” the two ladies echoed, surprised.
Rukawa would have joined them in their shocked echo if he wasn’t chewing his noodles.
Instead he choked on the spaghetti and started to cough uncontrollably.
/On a date?/ He repeated to himself inside.
He looked at Sendoh, his eyes wide.
“Yes, we are on a date.” He affirmed. And even though he was answering the ladies when he
replied, Sendoh was looking at Rukawa, as if he had guessed Rukawa’s unspoken anxiety.
“First date actually.” Rukawa chimed in softly.
___________________________
Go » Side Story Three | Date
Go » Part Five | Like the Wind
Back » Part Three | Because I Want To
===========================
Go
MAY JUN JUL
2007 2008 2009
1 capture
17 Jun 2008
About this capture
Side Story Three: Date
by Sakura
Sakuragi skulked out of the basketball court, gym bag slung over one shoulder. He was just
dealt a very heavy blow.
/Rukawa and Sendoh are on a date./

Sakuragi sighed and kicked an empty soft drink can out of his way in frustration.
/Even Kitsune, even that ice king, can get himself a date./
Another can was lying on the pavement and the redhead kicked it away again, this time with
twice the strength, watching with satisfaction as the metal carton skipped its way out of the
concrete floor and eventually ended up on the grass, right beside the rubbish bin.
An unknown person walking past saw the whole incident and bent down to pick the can up,
depositing it in its rightful position, in the dustbin.
But Sakuragi, lost in his own thoughts was oblivious to another presence and continued
walking, all the way sulking.
/What about me? I was in the same school as Haruko-san for three years and counting! But we
have yet to even go on a proper date… no going out to buy basketball shoes don’t really
count…/
A Basketball rolled slowly to his feet causing Sakuragi to nearly trip and fall over it. He gave the
inanimate rubber ball a taste of his infamous “eye” and then started losing it, big time, in public
no less. He waved a fist at the orange ball, shouting, “What! Now even you are in my way! First
a can, now a basketball!” he picked up the ball angrily and threw it to a dustbin a good twenty
meters away. It fell neatly into it.
“Hah. A good pass I might say.” Sakuragi sneered, before plopping down heavily on the
pavement, burying his head in his hands. “Argh!” he growled, /When will I ever get the courage
to ask Haruko-san out on a date?/
Suddenly a pair of small feet clad in red and black basketball shoes appeared in front of him.
Sakuragi looked up slowly and found himself staring into Haruko’s brown eyes. She was holding
out the basketball to him and smiling gently.
Sakuragi was immediately reminded of a memory three years ago when Haruko was in the
same position as she is now, holding a ball out to him and asking him, “Do you know how to
dunk, Sakuragi-kun?”
He closed his eyes in bliss. /Yes… we go all way back… such lovely memories…/ He opened his
eyes and they were full of determination. /I have to create new memories now./
He got up quickly and looked at Haruko steadily.
“Haruko… Haruko-san,” he stammered nervously, “um, are you free now? Maybe we can go for
dinner?” he asked timidly, then shutting his eyes tight as he prepared himself for a rejection.
But to his utmost surprise, Haruko smiled and nodded, “alright! I would love to, Sakuragi-kun.”
Sakuragi would have burst with happiness but he had to make sure of something first, “so… it
would be… it would be like a date?” he questioned shyly.
Unfortunately Haruko wasn’t listening because she was talking to herself at that point, “thank
god for Sakuragi to go with me to spy on Rukawa-kun and Sendoh-san… I wonder if they are
really on a date…” she muttered worriedly.
Sakuragi waited hopefully for a response, “well? Is that a yes or no?”
Haruko looked up, startled by the sudden question, “oh it’s a yes.” She said absently.
Much to her amusement, Sakuragi started to jump up and down and to run along wildly,
cheering loudly “finally!”
When he calmed down a bit, he followed Haruko to the restaurant she requested, feeling like
the happiest man alive. /Our first date…/
Imagine his horror when he saw Rukawa and Sendoh dining in the same restaurant and the
truth slowly dawned on to him. He turned to Haruko whose eyes were firmly plastered on
Rukawa, a few tables away and his heart sank.
“Oh great… another almost date…” he groaned to himself. /Stupid Kitsune!/ He cursed.
___________________________
Go » Part Five | Like the Wind
Back » Part Four | Date
====================
Go
MAY JUN JUL

2007 2008 2009
1 capture
17 Jun 2008
About this capture
Part Five: Like the Wind
by Sakura
Rukawa wandered along the corridors of the Kanagawa University science block searching for
one particular spiky haired sophomore student. His classes had ended for the day and there
was still a good hour before basketball practice, so he wanted to meet up with Sendoh.
But he had no idea where he is.
Sighing as he roamed down the fourth storey, he gave up looking for Sendoh all by himself and
resorted to ask a passerby. “Ano…”he approached a floppy haired student who was busy typing
a message on his hand phone, “do you know a Sendoh Akira from the second year?” he
inquired.
The guy looked up and squinted at Rukawa, he gave the tall boy a once over and then nodded
understandingly, “ah… from the looks of you, you must be a basketball player, so I guess you
must be looking for that basketball tensai Sendoh.”
/Basketball tensai Sendoh…/ Rukawa muttered under his breath, although he may have
developed other feelings for his long time rival, but he still felt competitive towards him,
especially when it comes to basketball.
“Yes. I am talking about him. Have you seen him?” Rukawa asked coolly, not wanting anyone to
guess that he is desperately searching for Sendoh.
“Oh yeah, he was in the computer lab just a while ago. Why are you looking for him?” the
floppy haired guy asked out of curiosity.
“thanks.” Rukawa said shortly, ignoring the question and quickly walked away from the nosy
student.
He burst into the computer lab and called out “sen-” only to realize that the only occupants of
the room were a group of giggling girls. He narrowed his eyes at the otherwise empty room and
sighed impatiently. /Where is Sendoh?/ He was beyond annoyed and reluctantly asked the girls,
“Have you all seen Sendoh?”
His tone was so hostile that the girls did not answer for a moment, and only one of them raised
a shaky finger, pointing towards the balcony outside, “he went that way.” She said timidly.
Without another word, Rukawa swept out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him. He
walked with inhumanly large strides towards the balcony, hoping to catch Sendoh before he
moved elsewhere again. A distance away, he saw a head of gravity defying black spikes and he
increased his speed.
But just as he was about to shout Sendoh’s name a second time, he noticed that he was not
alone. There was another person on the balcony with him and she was a girl, a very tall girl.
They were talking animatedly and Rukawa saw Sendoh laughed happily at something she was
saying. Even though they were just talking like normal friends, Rukawa felt an anger rising in his
chest and he immediately hated himself for being so over suspicious. He never imagined that
he was such an easily jealous person.
But just merely seeing Sendoh with another person other than himself, was enough to bring his
whole mood down. He scowled and turned away abruptly, accidentally knocking into someone
else.
“Ouch!” the person yelped with pain as Rukawa’s shoulder collided with his forehead.
Rukawa blinked, “Sumimasen.” He mumbled and was about to walk away quickly when he
heard Sendoh calling him.
“Rukawa!”
He stood rooted to the ground and turned his head slowly to look at Sendoh over his shoulder.
He was alone and the girl that was beside him a moment ago was already strolling down the
hall.
Minutes later, the two guys stood on the balcony, arms resting on the railing as they watched
the many students milling below.
“What are you doing here?” Sendoh asked, “Don’t tell me you got lost…” he teased.
Rukawa’s lips did not even twitch at the joke, he merely stared coldly ahead and without facing
Sendoh, asked him, “don’t you want to see me?”
Sendoh glanced at Rukawa in surprise when he heard the cold tone. “Of course, I want to see
you.”
“Then why didn’t you come and find me?”

Sendoh pondered over the question, “I don’t know... I just didn’t think of that I suppose.” He
shrugged casually.
Rukawa bristled at the over casual reply and turned away from Sendoh slightly, his usually
imperceptible face even more expressionless.
“I mean… I don’t work like that.” Sendoh explained. “As long as we like each other, isn’t that all
that matters?” Sendoh looked at the tensed Rukawa then sighed. “I thought you knew… forget
it if you don’t…” his voice trailed off and he went back to people watching.
For a few minutes, both guys just stood looking out at the people downstairs, backs turned to
each other. Then Rukawa bent down to pick his bag up from the floor and without a word, left
the balcony. Sendoh turned slightly to look at his retreating figure but did not call out to him
either.
Basketball practice was particularly chilling that day. The two aces did not converse and there
was no repeat of the “super duo” performance that stunned their teammates last week.
Rukawa looked tensed and even more of an ice man than he usually presents himself to be and
all his teammates shunned him and didn’t dare to approach him. But Sendoh on the other
hand, looked just like his normal self, smiling and joking around with Mitsui and Miyagi.
Occasionally, he would glance at the frosty freshman and upon seeing the expressionless mask
on his handsome face, he would sigh and go back to his joking around.
After practice that day, Rukawa was the first one to leave the shower room and he disappeared
after rejecting Sakuragi’s offer to have dinner together. When Sendoh came out of the shower
stall, he was immediately bombarded by questions.
“What in the world happened between you and Rukawa?” Kogure, the self appointed peace
maker of the team asked gently.
Sendoh just smiled and shrugged slightly, “it’s nothing much, Kogure. Really...” he placed a
reassuring hand on the easily flustered junior year student.
Without combing his hair to its usual spikes, Sendoh left it wet and mussed and hurried out of
the shower room. “Gotta go! See y’all!” he shouted so that his friends in the shower stalls could
hear him.
He walked out of the gym and headed straight for the fences at the outskirts of the university’s
campus. True enough, there was a slim dark haired boy sitting perilously on top of the tall,
narrow green wire fence. Rukawa, from his vantage 3m point of view long spotted Sendoh but
he did not leave the place. Instead he waited silently as Sendoh scaled the fence and made his
way to where Rukawa was sitting carefully, holding out two hands for balance.
When he finally took a seat beside Rukawa, Sendoh took a deep breath of the fresh air and
smiled widely. “What a great view.” He said, “No wonder you like to climb up here even though
it’s so dangerous…” The wind ruffled and made a mess out of Sendoh’s ungelled hair and he
laughed softly as he realized that this was practically the first time he felt the wind on his hair,
“maybe I shouldn’t gel my hair so often in the future, huh?” he chuckled to himself.
Beside him, Rukawa made no response and he just continued sitting there, staring ahead,
feeling the wind and keeping quiet as if he is pondering over something serious.
/At least he doesn’t look pissed anymore…/ Sendoh heaved a sigh of relief.
“… like the wind.”
Sendoh turned to Rukawa in shock, “did you say something? Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention
and your voice was too soft to be heard over the wind. Never realized how loud the wind could
be sometimes…”
“You are just like the wind.” Rukawa said, in a serious tone, still refusing to look at Sendoh and
choosing to stare straight ahead. “Nothing really affects you.”
Sendoh listened quietly.
“Just like the wind I can never grasp, no matter what I do, I just can’t catch you. And neither will
you allow yourself to be pinned down.” Rukawa continued, trying to devoid his voice of any
emotion. /Rather than let this go on any deeper and hurt myself… I choose to end this now./
Before the tears could spill over, Rukawa jumped down from the fence and landed softly on his
feet, agile and graceful as a cat. With long strides, he walked away swiftly and without turning
back even once.
___________________________
Go » Side Story Four | Like the Wind
Go » Part Six | Damn Cold Night
Back » Part Four | Date
================
Go
MAY JUN JUL
2007 2008 2009
1 capture
17 Jun 2008
About this capture
Side Story Four: Like the Wind
by Sakura
Kogure looked on worriedly as Sendoh waved goodbye and walked out of the shower room.
Suddenly, Mitsui appeared and patted his shoulder comfortingly. “Don’t worry about them,
min-kun. Sendoh will have a way. It’s impossible to quarrel or stay angry with that guy! He can
really turn on the charm when he wants to.”
“Yeah, besides its normal for couples to have a tiff once in a while… you guys should know it
best, don’t you? After all you and Mitsui san has been together for the longest time.” Miyagi
added.
“No. we don’t know it best.” Mitsui informed him, “After all min kun and I never quarreled
before.”
Sakuragi gasped, “never?” he asked.
“Never.” Kogure confirmed.

“Well, what I am very interested to know is… how in the world did you manage it? I mean even
for friends, not to argue is already a huge feat, much less than for couples.” Kiyota joined in the
conversation.
“Why do you want to know?” Mitsui asked, “Are you taking notes for future use when you and
Maki you know… become a couple?” he teased a reddening Kiyota.
Suddenly the whole shower room erupted with hearty laughter as everyone took turns to laugh
and tease the long haired freshman while Maki wisely decided to stay longer in his shower stall.
“No! I mean… I am just curious that’s all… especially for the two of you cuz you guys are so
different! How did you all get together is another mystery… one is an ex-gangster, the other a
bookish scholar…”
/How did we get together?/ Mitsui asked himself. /I am not sure myself… why would min-kun
want to stay with someone like me…/
/flashback/
1 year ago, when Kogure and Mitsui were still freshmen at Kanagawa University...
“What can Mitsui give you? I mean, he is just some delinquent who got in here because of his
basketball skills. If he didn’t know how to play basketball, he wouldn’t even be anywhere
remotely near this university! Or any university for that matter… besides, from what I can see,
he doesn’t seem to give a shit about you either! I hardly even see you two out alone without
the rest of the basketball guys around!” A tall guy in steel rimmed glasses told Kogure in a harsh
tone, shaking the thin guy by the shoulders, as if to knock some sense in him.
“You misunderstand Hisashi.” Kogure said simply.

“Misunderstand? Well, today is the best proof! It’s your birthday today and he has totally
forgotten about it isn’t it? And even when you told him your brother is here to see you today
because it’s a special occasion, he didn’t catch the hint either!” Kogure’s brother continued
ranting.
“Hisashi can be a little slow about dates and such but he is not as bad as you make him out to
be. Besides, it’s only a birthday…”
“Come on, give it up, Kiminobu! That guy doesn’t love you half as much as you love him.”
Kogure’s eyes flashed with anger when he heard that, “that’s not true! You don’t know
anything about him or us… so you shouldn’t judge like that!” he retorted hotly.
Kogure’s brother was taken aback by the harsh tone. He was surprised that the usual calm and
patient Kogure would get so upset by his words.
“Hisashi… his love is… like the wind.” Kogure said, softer this time, “it cannot be seen or
measured… but it’s always there… and it shows its presence in the most subtle of ways.”
/end flashback/
Mitsui didn’t understand what Kogure meant when he overheard the conversation and he still
doesn’t. But he is not a person to fret over things like that. /As long as we are together…/
“Gee, it’s really windy outside! Luckily I brought my sweatshirt along.” Miyagi said as he came
back into the warm shower room after going out to answer a call.
A chorus of “luckily I brought mine too” answered him while Kogure looked worriedly outside
through the window.
“Is it really that cold? I didn’t bring mine along, and it’s a long walk back to the hostel…” he
fretted.
Mitsui threw his sweatshirt at Kogure, “you can take mine then, min-kun.”
“But… Hisashi… wont you be cold?”
“Nah… I have a high threshold for cold. Don’t worry about me, Min-kun. You fall sick easily so
you better put it on.” Mitsui said, “I will be waiting outside with Miyagi…you guys hurry up!”
He walked out of the steamy room without waiting for Kogure but the latter was not upset. He
hugged the warm sweatshirt tight around himself and smiled at the retreating silhouette of
Mitsui.
/That’s what I meant, your love is like the wind… it cannot be seen, touched or measured, but it
can be felt… and it’s always there…/
___________________________
Go » Part Six | Damn Cold Night
Back » Part Five | Like the Wind
=================
Go
MAY JUN JUL
2007 2008 2009
1 capture
17 Jun 2008
About this capture
Part Six: Damn Cold Night
by Sakura
The rain was pouring down in sheets and from Sendoh’s dorm window, the entire campus of
the university just look like a misty mirage.
“Nasty weather to go out.” Fujima observed.
“You are right there.” Hanagata looked up from the newspaper he was reading, “I wonder if
anyone is actually out in the first place. Even workaholic Maki cancelled practice because of this
weather. It’s too wet and cold to do anything.”
“Except to get even more wet and cold.” Sendoh said cryptically.
“What are you talking about, Sendoh?” Mitsui asked, irritated as he blew his nose for the
umpteenth time in the last hour.
“I am going out.” Sendoh took out a windbreaker and an umbrella from his closet and threw
the keys at Kogure.
“If you guys wanna go down for dinner or whatever, just lock up the room for me.” He closed
the door softly behind him leaving behind five open mouths.
“Where the hell is Sendoh going in such bad weather?” Kogure asked rhetorically.
It turned out that Sendoh himself have no idea of his own destination. He just had an urge to go
out and feel the biting cold, enjoy the feel of the chilling wind and smell the rain. For some
inexplicable reason, ever since young, Sendoh fell in love with stormy nights and although he
would probably run a fever the next day, he still love to walk in the storm and just let the rain
drench him.
/But now is not the time to get wet yet/. Sendoh walked along the now empty streets aimlessly,
every now and then smiling to himself when he see a few unlucky people running from the
storm with their might. /It looks like a ghost town here tonight. I don’t know why people don’t
like the rain… it clears my head… and it’s beautiful. Isn’t there anyone else who is out on this
damn cold night?/
Suddenly, he found himself directly opposite another man almost the same height as him and
what is even stranger, strolling in the storm too.
Almost at the same time, the man noticed Sendoh’s presence and he paused in his tracks.
“It’s a damn cold night to be out for a walk, isn’t it, Rukawa-kun?” Sendoh called out.
But Rukawa was narrowed his eyes and abruptly turned right to turn into another street so as
to avoid walking past him.
Undaunted, Sendoh chased after him and when he was within inches, grabbed Rukawa by the
arm and spun him around.
“How long are you planning to avoid me? Until I graduate?” Sendoh asked, shouting to be
heard over the rain.
Rukawa made no answer at first and merely tried to shake off Sendoh’s hand on his arm but
Sendoh held on firmly.
Exasperated, he yelled, “What are you doing? We broke up already!”
Sendoh released Rukawa.
“That is, if we can even be considered together in the first place.” Rukawa added bitterly.
Sendoh was about to retort but felt his words drowned by the rain. He pointed to the stretch of
sea in front of them and said, “Let’s go to the dock.”
Rukawa was about to reject his offer but something in Sendoh’s eyes made him follow without
any protest. He had this feeling that tonight’s Sendoh is slightly different from what he usually
is like. /More unbalanced somehow.../
They maintained perfect silence all the way to the dock and when they stepped onto the
wooden floor, Rukawa found himself staring at a scene he had never in his life seen before and
before he could stop himself, murmured in wonderment, “its… beautiful.”
The waves were wild with the rain and high tide and it crashed mercilessly against the wooden
pillars of the dock, causing sprays of icy sea water to erupt from the unsettling sea further
drenching the wooden planks, as if it’s a wild and uncontrollable fountain.
Without warning, Sendoh knocked the umbrella out of Rukawa’s hold and he found himself
being drenched almost immediately by the downpour of rain and by the seawater. “What the
hell are you doing?” he asked, incredulous, choking a little as the water ran into his mouth,
gagging him with the salty taste. To his amazement, he saw Sendoh tilting his face up to the
black sky, his eyes closed as the rain beat down on his face.
“Why do you want to care about who is catching whom? Why do you want to be bothered with
details like who love the other more?” Sendoh asked softly, not budging from the position. His
voice was so soft and gentle against the harsh howls of the wind and crash of the waves
Rukawa wouldn’t have paid attention to his words if he had not been staring at Sendoh and saw
his lips moving.
All of a sudden, Rukawa felt very vulnerable. Maybe it was because of the rain, maybe it was
because of the cold, or perhaps a combination of both, he felt very lost. At this point in time, all
he wanted was a person to hold his hand and take him home. /But… is this person Sendoh?/
Rukawa couldn’t think anymore, he was too confused, and he walked away from Sendoh closer
to the water, hoping the loud crash of the waves can drown the voices in his head.
By this time, both of them were soaked to the skin and were already shivering uncontrollably.
Then Sendoh came from behind Rukawa and wrapped two strong arms around his trembling
frame.
“I don’t need to possess you to love you, Kaede, and neither do I want to.” Sendoh told him.
“Do you know what I mean?”
Rukawa thought about his words carefully, “I am not sure…”
“You said you couldn’t pin me down, couldn’t grasp me, but why do you want to do in the first
place?” Sendoh asked.
“Because… I wanted to tie you down beside me so you can never leave me… never leave me
and fly off on your own.” Rukawa replied in a small voice, hating how weak and needy he
sound.
“But why do you want to keep me on the ground with you? Why not come fly with me?”
Rukawa knitted his eyebrows, “what do you mean?”
Sendoh kissed the top of his head, “let’s stop this silent treatment. It’s ridiculous! We like each
other but we are forcing ourselves apart? Why do we do things to hurt each other and
ourselves?”
/Why is everything so confusing? Maybe I am just out of my mind…/ Rukawa closed his eyes
and then wrapped his own arms around Sendoh’s ones. He turned around slightly in Sendoh’s
warm embrace to face him. /I don’t care if I can never figure him out, even if I can never fully
understand Sendoh Akira… as long as we are together…/
And in the damn cold night, in the freezing rain, amidst the wild fountain of sea water, two
silhouettes could be seen in the mist, two figures almost molded into one as they clung to each
other, joined in a lip lock.
___________________________
Go » Side Story Five | Damn Cold Night
Go » Part Seven (A) | Confessions of a Dangerous Mind - The Four Dreadful Words
Back » Part Five | Like The Wind
==========
Go
MAY JUN JUL
2007 2008 2009
1 capture
17 Jun 2008
About this capture
Side Story Five: Damn Cold Night
by Sakura
Miyagi pulled on his sweater and rubbed his hands for warmth. He looked at his watch for the
ten thousandth time and sighed, “where are you, Aya-chan!” he asked the ceaseless rain
pouring around him as he seek shelter in a small pavilion in the park near their hostel.
Thunder answered him.
He shivered and muttered to himself, “a bad omen…”
This afternoon, when he reached his tiny room also known as his dorm after a long hard day of
classes, he found a note slipped under his door in Ayako's handwriting. The note had requested
for him to meet her at nine in this tiny park since they have no training this evening.
/Well I am here… but she is not…/
Miyagi fiddled with his ear rings nervously, /What could Aya-chan want? Why did she want to
meet me here tonight? What does she have to say?/ Many worrying and nagging questions ran
through the point guard’s head but there seemed to be no reassuring answer to any of them.
A bolt of lightning in the dark sky brightened the park for a moment and Miyagi spotted a small
figure with an umbrella walking towards the pavilion.
/It must be her! No one would be out in this damn weather… on this damn cold night…/ Miyagi
waved vigorously and shouted to be heard in the loud rain, “Aya-chan!”
The wind blew the shapely manager’s long curly hair around, making a tousled mess out of it,
but she never looked more beautiful to Miyagi than now.
Suddenly, a hopeful thought sprang to his mind, /Could this be it? Is Aya chan finally going to
agree to be my girl friend? After years of “friends and yet not really friends” dating, are we
finally going to be an official couple?/
Miyagi tried to push the new thought out of his mind, he dare not hope…
“Ryota.” Ayako greeted him when she stepped into the shelter, out of the freezing rain.
Miyagi was too busy fussing over her wet hair and helping her take her umbrella to take notice
of her pained tone and frown on her beautiful face.
“My goodness… you are so wet… and shivering!” Miyagi fretted, taking off his sweater roughly
to put it over Ayako's small frame, “here, put this on! Gee, this damn cold night is so freaking
troublesome! I hate rainy nights…”
“Ryota…” Ayako cut in his monologue, “listen to me. I have something to say.” She said
seriously.
Miyagi’s heart pounded so loudly, he couldn’t even hear the rain anymore.
“Ryota… I am…” she started and then paused, collecting her thoughts, “this strange relationship
we share for the last few years… I think its time to settle it.”
“What do you mean?” Miyagi asked warily, his heart sinking when he heard Ayako's stern
tone. /She doesn’t sound like someone who is going to agree to be my girlfriend…/
“I… I… like you, Ryota.” She told him earnestly.
Miyagi waited patiently for her to continue, he noticed the careful choice of words, /“like” and
not “love”…/
“But…” she trailed off.

A pregnant pause followed.
“But, I don’t love you. Not like you love me or the way you want me to love you.”
Miyagi held his breath.
“Because I love Rukawa Kaede.”
He could hear his heart plummeting to ground zero and shattering into millions of pieces.
Without waiting for Ayako to continue, he simply turned away and left the pavilion, walking out
into the rain.
Although he was cursing the wet night just a minute ago, Miyagi is now glad for the rain. The
loud roar of the rain is now a blessing as it drowns Ayako's calls for him to stop and listen to
her. And the rain also hid his tears as he walked further and further away into the deep
darkness of the damn cold night.
___________________________
Go » Part Seven (A) | Confessions of a Dangerous Mind - The Four Dreadful Words
Back » Part Six | Damn Cold Night
===============
http://www.senrusen.net:80/fics/s/do/7a.html
Go
MAY JUN JUL
2007 2008 2009
1 capture
17 Jun 2008
About this capture
Part Seven (A): Confessions of a Dangerous Mind - The Four Dreadful Words
by Sakura
The next morning, much to the relief of all the basketball players, the bright shining sun greeted
the campus and the dark clouds of the previous night had finally cleared.
Except for the dark clouds that still lingered in Miyagi’s head.
He threw the blanket over his head, trying to bury unwanted thoughts, but to no avail. He kept
hearing Ayako’s clear voice telling him the dreaded four words.
“I love Rukawa Kaede.”
Miyagi stuck his head out of his blanket cave and stared at the two intruders in his room,
aghast.
“What the hell are you two doing here?” he growled half in frustration, the other in irritation.
Miyagi threw his alarm clock at the grinning face of Mitsui and scowled at the beaming Sendoh.
The metallic blue snoopy alarm clock bounced off Mitsui’s iron head and dropped on the floor
with a loud smash of metal against wooden floor. Even without looking at the debris, Miyagi
knew that the clock was beyond repair. /Just as well… that was a Christmas gift from Aya chan
anyway…/
He sniffed a little as sad memories washed over him like a flood.
But his friends were laughing too hard to hear his sniffles or to notice the hot tears brimming in
his eyes.
“Say it again! Say it again!” Mitsui nudged the taller Sendoh, “my god, that must be the most
amusing thing I ever heard! Joke of the year!”
Sendoh laughed good naturedly, “is it that funny? I am sure they are very common words.
Rukawa is very popular with girls you know.”
Miyagi stifled a sob with his pillow. /Indeed he is… so popular with girls, guys and… even
Ayako!/
“Come on, Mitsui san, I completed the dare: to say I love Rukawa in front of a witness. Now
when are you going to lend me your warcraft three!”
Mitsui snickered, “I don’t know… it looks like Miyagi hasn’t heard you yet… still groggy from
sleep I gather. Maybe you can say it again, Sendoh?”
Sendoh rolled his eyes.
“I love Rukawa Kaede!”
Miyagi let out a heart wrenching sob at the same moment that Mitsui roared with laughter.
“Louder! I can’t hear you!” he teased, giggling uncontrollably.
“I said, I love-”
“SHUT UP!”
And Miyagi burst into tears in front of his teammates.
Mitsui and Sendoh stood frozen for a moment, gaping at the normally happy go lucky point
guard and then immediately burst into hysterical giggles, both of them slapping each other’s
shoulder, tears running down their faces.
“Miyagi is jealous!” Mitsui managed to gasp in between his giggles. He was about to say more
when Miyagi aimed a pillow in his face and his voice became too muffled to be audible.
“Out! Out! Out!” Miyagi got up from bed and marched to the door, each hand towing one
basketball player and just at the door way, kicked both of them hard, causing them to fall on
each other in the corridor. But even the violence did not curb their laughter and Miyagi simply
slammed the door shut in the faces.
“Stupid Rukawa Kaede!” he yelled in anger, furiously wiping his wet cheeks with his pajama
sleeve.
But little did poor Miyagi know that those dreaded four words will show themselves again… and
again… later in the afternoon.
___________________________
Go » Part Seven (B) | Confessions of a Dangerous Mind - No One But Two
Back » Part Six | Damn Cold Night
============
http://www.senrusen.net:80/fics/s/do/7b.html
Go
MAY JUN JUL
2007 2008 2009
1 capture
17 Jun 2008
About this capture
Part Seven (B): Confessions of a Dangerous Mind - Not One But Two
by Sakura
“Sprint!” Akagi yelled and suddenly loud thumping running steps resounded in the gym as if a
fleet of horses were galloping by.
“Slow!” Maki commanded and once again the labored breathing sounds of the basketball
players could be heard as they pant in their grueling running exercise.
Standing at the sidelines watching the sweaty guys run past them alternating between jogging
and sprinting were the managers of the team: Ayako and Haruko.
Although both of them were supposed to do different things, Ayako was assigned to monitor
the progress of the newbies while Haruko is supposed to help her brother take his individual
timing, both their eyes were on the same person. A tall and thin player with pale skin and
feminine features, slanted fox eyes and floppy raven hair, a player who is one of the few in the
team who still can manage to run without panting too much—Rukawa Kaede.
It was no secret that Haruko had harbored a crush on the good looking boy since her freshman
year in high school, and obviously even the dense Rukawa figured it out although he refuses to
acknowledge her feelings. However, Ayako’s secret feelings only surfaced very recently when
her schoolmate from junior high and high school came to the same college as her as well, then
she realized that the presence she always thought she regard as her kid brother has somehow
along the way developed into admiration and even… love.
“Ganbatte Rukawa kun!” they both shouted at the same time when the stony faced player ran
past them, before turning to look at each other in surprise.
“Ayako-san!” Haruko exclaimed, a little shocked, “I never heard you singling any player out like
that to cheer for, other than Miyagi-san.”
Ayako raised one eyebrow and slapped her fan against her palm impatiently, “You are not the
only one who can cheer for Rukawa, Haruko-chan.” She snapped.
Haruko blinked in surprise. “Uh… I don’t mean that of course… I was just… surprised that’s all.”
She said meekly, trying to placate the increasingly fuming sophomore.
“Well, what’s so surprising? Rukawa and I have been close since junior high! That’s about 6
years of friendship for you, and that’s more than you can claim, isn’t it?”
Haruko was taken aback by the bitchy tone of her senior, and quickly became self righteous
herself, “that’s not very nice of you to say that, Ayako-san!”
“Not very nice? Yeah, but that’s the truth isn’t it? And come to think of it, you weren’t even
friends with Rukawa the last three years you known him. So what does that make of you? Even
less than a friend? An ardent supporter at the most in my reckoning, which makes you no
different from the annoying Rukawa brigade gals in Shohoku back then, isn’t it?”
Haruko threw the stop watch on the floor and grabbed Ayako by the shoulder, “even though
you are Ayako san, I still cannot forgive what you just said! Take your words back!” she fumed.
“No. I will not. What I said was the truth, accept it Haruko, Rukawa doesn’t love you.” Ayako
said harshly.
The two managers were so involved in their argument they failed to control their rising voices
and before they realized it, the entire team had stopped running altogether and simply stared
at them, alternating their gaze between the war between the girls and the guy they are fighting
for.
Rukawa however was totally oblivious to the argument and the pointed looks he is receiving
from his team mates. He had long tuned out to their silly and petty quarrel and was lamenting
that the running exercise has stopped. He felt that he hasn’t run enough.
“What makes you so sure of that?” Haruko retorted hotly.
“Well, there’s only one way to find out isn’t it?” Ayako said, and then turning to Rukawa with
her hands on her hips, she declared boldly, “I love Rukawa Kaede.”
The entire gym was so quiet by then only the small pitiful sigh of Miyagi could be heard.
“So do I, I love Rukawa Kaede.” Haruko stepped forward, “and for a long time too…” she added
a little softer.
This time, Sakuragi’s wail joined Miyagi’s muffled sobs as he sniffed into Mitsui's sweaty jersey.
“So? Who do you love?” Ayako asked, “Her or me?”
Everyone held their breath as they waited for Rukawa’s answer.
But for one entire minute, there was just silence.
“Well… we are all dying to hear your answer, Rukawa…” Kiyota drawled, he couldn’t resist
making a jibe at his former rival.
“Yeah, just so we can continue practice. We wasted enough time as it is.” Maki added.
“Like you aren’t interested to hear what Rukawa would say.” Mitsui sneered, “I for one
wouldn’t deny it: this is the most interesting thing that has yet to happen in this gym since term
began.” He laughed and a few other players joined in.
Akagi simply growled as he waited impatiently for the whole stupid affair to end. He glared at
his sister, hardly believing her nerve to embarrass both herself as well as him.
“Neither.” Rukawa replied coldly before continuing with his running laps alone, ignoring Ayako's
furious eyes and Haruko’s humiliated gaze. A few seconds later, Sendoh, Maki, Fujima and
Hanagata regained their wits too and hurried to catch up with Rukawa. Before long, the entire
team was back to their running exercise, with the exception of Sakuragi and Miyagi who fled
the gym after hearing the bold confessions.
And unbeknownst to all, inside Rukawa’s stone cold heart burned a raging fire as he toyed with
the idea of a confession himself…
___________________________
Go » Part Seven (C) | Confessions of a Dangerous Mind - You're a God
Back » Part Seven (A) | Confessions of a Dangerous Mind - The Four Dreadful Words
================!=======
http://www.senrusen.net:80/fics/s/do/7c.html
Go
MAY JUN JUL
2007 2008 2009
1 capture
17 Jun 2008
About this capture
Part Seven (C): Confessions of a Dangerous Mind - You're a God
by Sakura
Sendoh sneaked a peek at Rukawa who was running beside him. /He doesn’t look any
different… not ruffled or bothered by those bold confessions and stares that he kept getting
from our teammates. He doesn’t seem to feel awkward to be around the two managers either…
he is simply too cool… too cold for that I guess/
He sighed and picked up his pace a little as Akagi began to increase the length of his strides.
/So why the hell do I feel so weird?/
Sendoh breathed heavily and panted loudly as he ran the fiftieth lap.
When Maki blew the whistle, he immediately fell on his behind and just sat on the floor,
gasping for air.
“Can't take the harsh training, Sendoh? Maybe its time you build up your stamina…” Mitsui
teased him, laughing and then wheezing as he too gasped for air.
Sendoh was too tired to respond.
“Well, maybe you two should build up your stamina together, Mitsui sempai.” Kiyota said
loudly and then beamed proudly, “We at Kainan have had this kind of training for years!”
Hanagata patted the smug freshman’s head, “Well, Mitsui has always lack in the stamina
department, but Sendoh… he has always been the fittest amongst us. What’s wrong with you
today?” he asked, pushing up his glasses on his sweaty nose.
Mitsui stopped panting for a moment, took a deep breath and then practically announced to
the entire basketball team in a loud booming voice, “I bet it was because of the confessions just
now. Sendoh must be worried about competition! After all, his rivals are two of the most
popular GIRLS around…”
“Well, Sendoh is a very popular guy himself, Hisashi-kun.” Kogure smiled encouragingly at his
spiky haired friend.
“Exactly.” Mitsui pounded the wooden floor with his fist to emphasize his point, “Sendoh is a
GUY and Rukawa is… wait a minute also a guy?”
“So what? You and Kogure are guys too, aren’t you?” Fujima spoke up. “And so are Toru-kun
and I.” he added defensively.
“Yeah… but it’s different, Fujima. Rukawa is… so obviously heterosexual! It’s just a one sided
thing for Sendoh.” Mitsui continued, “Although I seriously doubt that guy even have feelings…”
he said softly as he took a sidelong glance at the frosty freshman who was just doing his cool
down exercise in one corner and ignoring everybody else.
Sendoh flinched. Unable to help himself, he too, followed Mitsui's gaze and took a long hard
look at Rukawa. But Rukawa simply ignored him and remained lost in his own thoughts.
/What’s this? What’s this feeling? Don’t tell me Mitsui is really correct… don’t tell me I am
actually jealous of Ayako and Haruko…/ Sendoh groaned and buried his hands in his hair, /No!
Why should I be? I know I am the one Kaede likes… and I like him too… and that’s enough isn’t
it? That’s what I told him the last time too right? As long we like each other… isn’t that enough?
So why does it all seem so inadequate now?/
“Rukawa-kun, you must be tired… here, have some water.” Haruko shyly offered.
Sendoh lifted his head just in time to meet the eyes of Rukawa as he finally stopped his
exercise. Across the gym, the two guys just stared at each other.
Suddenly Ayako stood in between them as she came up to offer Rukawa a towel to wipe off his
perspiration. And all Sendoh could see was Ayako’s bouncing curls.
He sighed. The eye contact was broken.
But then he heard a soft growl.
And then a very chilling voice, “Get lost.”
Rukawa got up from the floor and looked down coldly at the two girls. His lip curled in disgust
at the sight of their offerings to him.
He took a quick look at Sendoh and then averted his gaze quickly when Sendoh stared calmly
back.
“I like Sendoh.” he said to the two girls. “I… I appreciate your, both of your feelings. But. I… I
only like Sendoh.” Rukawa looked at Sendoh almost fiercely, very intently and intensely. Then
without another word, he left the gym and went to the locker room to get a drink from the
cooler, leaving all the basketball players too shocked to move.
Rukawa actually spoke aloud in front of the entire team.
He actually confessed that he likes Sendoh.
Sendoh sat there, dazed, hardly believing what he just heard.
“Well. There you go, Mitsui. Looks like this is not all one sided. Rukawa and Sendoh are the
newest couple on the block!” Fujima said, patting Sendoh on the shoulder, “Congrats, mate.
You guys have gone public. That’s a first step to an official relationship.”
Kogure nodded happily, “Yeah… although I’m pretty surprised that it’s Rukawa who confirmed
it, rather than you, Sendoh. Guess this shows that even the ice man has a heart.”
“You actually can thaw out the Eskimo… I am impressed, Sendoh… you are a god! A love god!”
Mitsui said, partly sarcastic and partly sincere.
Rukawa allowed himself a very small smile as he leaned behind the door, overhearing the
conversation between his seniors.
“You’re a god.” He said softly and his true confession went unheard and unbeknownst to all
except to himself…
___________________________
Go » Part Eight | Cry Me a River
Back » Part Seven (B) | Confessions of a Dangerous Mind - Not One But Two
=============
Go
MAY JUN JUL
2007 2008 2009
1 capture
17 Jun 2008
About this capture
Part Eight: Cry Me a River
by Sakura
The chains of the two swings in the small sandbox of the playground in a nearby park university
made loud creaking noises as two oversized men squeezed themselves into the children sized
seats.
Sakuragi threw his gym bag down on the sand and sighed loudly.
Both he and Miyagi leaned in forward on their swing seat, chins in hands and elbows resting on
their knees.
“Hey Hanamichi, how many girls dumped you already?” Miyagi asked.
“Well, Haruko is the number 51 since my junior high days.” Sakuragi replied. “What about you,
Ryochin?”
“Well, Ayako is number 11.” Came the despondent reply.
Both of them sighed and stared sullenly at the sand beneath their feet.
“You know…” Miyagi said, “I seem to remember we had this very similar conversation in the
past, back in high school.”
“Oh yeah?” Sakuragi scratched his head, “oh yeah, now that you mention it, I remember too. In
my freshman year I think.”
“Yeah. That time you told me you were dumped by 50 girls in junior high…” Miyagi
reminiscence, “wow… that means, throughout high school, there was only Haruko in your
mind…”
“That’s right.” Sakuragi nodded and sniffed as a new wave of tears began to form in his eyes,
“and I would say the same for you too, right? There was only Ayako san in your mind
throughout high school, your freshman year in university…”
Miyagi nodded sadly and wiped his wet cheeks with his shirt sleeve.
Sakuragi noticed his tears and suddenly, his grief became anger, he blew his nose loudly and
burst out, “I can’t believe this! Here are the world’s two greatest man crying for two heartless
women! I mean, look at us! Where else can you find two guys like us who are so faithful to the
person they like!”
Miyagi sat up straight upon hearing that, “you are absolutely right. It’s their loss for not
choosing us. And now I am not going to cry another tear for Aya-chan. I will make her regret
rejecting me, and then it would be her turn to cry me a river.” He said determinedly.
“Me too. I will make Haruko san know the folly of her choice.” Sakuragi said with gusto.
“Good. So it’s decided. We shall stop feeling sorry for ourselves. We shall make those girls feel
sorry instead!” Miyagi punched the air with his fist, then slowly lowered it, “but how are we
going to do that?” he asked.
Sakuragi narrowed his eyes and then abruptly he got off the swing and went to stand in front of
Miyagi. He placed two hands on the smaller boy’s shoulders and kneel down to level his eyes
with Miyagi's. “Ryochin. I have an idea…” he said, then break into an evil smile.
Miyagi grimaced when he recognized the glint in his friend’s eyes. “I don’t like this feeling… are
you gonna come up with some stupid plan and embarrass both of us… no… I don’t want o be
part of any of you harebrained schemes…”
“No. this time, I promise you it’s not a harebrained scheme… this is going to be the ploy of the
century! No no, of the millennium!” Sakuragi broke out into hysterical self satisfied laughter,
“looks like I am really the tensai after all!”
“Oh, stop the tensai crap, just say it first and then I will decide if it really as good as you
proclaim…” Miyagi silenced the redhead’s laughter.
“easy.” Sakuragi smiled smoothly, “you and I, Ryochin are gonna become Kanagawa University
basketball team’s latest gay couple!” he ended with a triumphant note.
For a moment, there was silence.
Then miyagi began to laugh hysterically, “latest gay couple in the midst of the already very gay
infested basketball team!” he gasped in the middle of his giggles.
“Exactly, exactly! See, Haruko and Ayako both like Rukawa right? But Rukawa likes Sendoh!
Which makes him a gay, a homo, whatever you call it! So in other words, the girls like gay
guys!” Sakuragi said, “which would explain why so many of them are interested in yaoi stuff…”
he muttered under his breath, “anyway, this means, if we become gay as well, then they will
like us too!”
Miyagi was laughing too hard to respond.
“I thought and thought about it and I realize that I, ok ok, I mean we, are superior in every
single way to Rukawa! Looks, basketball skills, athletic skills, studies, character… well basically
everything under the sun… so what could be the reason why the girls prefer Rukawa?” Sakuragi
asked rhetorically, “Because he is gay! He is unobtainable! That’s why they all want him… its
like a challenge… you know the saying, you always want what you can’t get! So now do you see
my point?”
Miyagi took a deep breath as he valiantly tries to control his laughter.

“Ryochin! We gotta do this! It’s the only way to make them realize their mistake, regret their
choice and then beg us to take them back! It shall be Haruko’s turn then, to cry me a river… no!
Cry me an ocean...”
Miyagi removed Sakuragi’s hands from his shoulder and told him seriously, “I think, Hanamichi,
I think that your plan is-” he paused.
“The greatest in the world isn’t it?” Sakuragi continued for him.
“The stupidest in the world.”
“But! But!” Sakuragi protested.
“BUT,” Miyagi held out a hand to silence Sakuragi, “BUT. It just might work…” he grinned evilly.
The redhead held out a hand to miyagi and the short point guard took it and they shook hands
firmly.
“To make Aya-chan cry me a river.”
“To make Haruko san cry me a river.”
And both of them started laughing like hyenas throughout the night.
___________________________
Go » Part Nine (A) | Yo Cheku Ya! - First Contact
Back » Part Seven (C) | Confessions of a Dangerous Mind - You're a God
=========
Go
MAY JUN JUL
2007 2008 2009
1 capture
17 Jun 2008
About this capture
Part Nine (A): Yo Cheku Ya! - First Contact
by Sakura
A short boy walking up the grand staircase leading to the foyer of the Kanagawa University
suddenly stop short in the middle of his tracks and look up at the huge campus building in front
of him in awe and excitement.
"So this is Kanagawa University…" he mumbled to himself as he scribbled a note in his tiny
pocket size journal, "yo checku ya!"
And taking a deep breath, Hikoichi, an alumni student of Ryonan high school walked up the
remaining steps into the college where many of friends are currently studying in.
"Hikoichi?" a bewildered voice called out.
Hikoichi turned around wildly, trying to identify the voice and suddenly he found himself face to
face with a giant redhead. "Sakuragi-san!" he greeted his friend, "it's been a while! How have
you been? And have you seen Sendoh-san? Who else from Shohoku is here? Oh and where is
the basketball stadium? Are you still playing basketball? And-"
"Hey stop stop stop… one question at a time, Hikoichi. You are still the same annoying boy from
the past, aren't you?" an amused voice said.
Hikoichi frowned, he could not see the person whom the voice belonged to. "Sakuragi-san, step
aside! I want to see who is behind you!" he said impatiently, half pushing the strong and tall
basketball friend feebly.
"It's just Ryochin." Sakuragi informed him, "come on out you shorty… I mean Ryota-kun." He
corrected himself hastily, inserting a gentler note into his voice.
"It's all your fault for being so broad, you stupid redhead… I mean… Hana-kun." Ryota said, his
last words carrying a tone of disgust and he stepped out from behind Sakuragi. "Yosh, Hikoichi."
Hikoichi stared in wonderment at the two players from Shohoku. "Why are you two acting so
weird? I mean, since when do you guys address each other so… affectionately?" he asked
suspiciously.
Both guys were stunned for a moment but Sakuragi quickly recovered and then to Miyagi's
amazement, the redhead slung an arm around his thin shoulders to pull him close and then
proceed to tell Hikoichi in a loud booming voice, "what's wrong with… uh… with us addressing
each other affectionately? Aren't all uh… couples like that?" he nudged Miyagi, "right, shorty? I
mean, Ryota-kun."
Miyagi gulped when he saw Hikoichi's eyes bulged out at the mention of the word "couple". He
smiled weakly at the younger boy, "ah, of course, Hana-kun." He cringed. "Well, we'd better
make a move first… do come and see the basketball practice after school!" he waved hastily at
Hikoichi and then began to drag Sakuragi away.
"Oh yeah… we are on a date you know, Hikoichi. ON A DATE, you got that?" Sakuragi shouted
as he was physically dragged forward by his friend.
His yells earned him a punch on the head from Miyagi who hissed at him, "Why the hell did you
say that so loudly for? Now the whole school thinks we are really gay!"
"But Ryochin, that's exactly what we want isn't it? To let them know that we are gay! The
newest addition to the Kanagawa university basketball club! Remember the cry me a river
plan?" Sakuragi reminded him.
"I guess… but there is no need to tell Hikoichi that, you know what a big mouth he has!" Miyagi
argued.
"Precisely! Hikoichi will spread the news for us and then very soon… very soon… Haruko san
and Ayako san will realize their folly…" Sakuragi burst into self satisfied laughter that lingered in
the hallway even after the two walked out of Hikoichi's sight.
"A couple? On a date? Gay? The newest addition?" Hikoichi echoed, deep in ponderment, his
eyes lit up, "yo checku ya!"
___________________________
Go » Part Nine (B) | Yo Checku Ya! - UNBELIEVABLE!
Back » Part Eight | Cry Me a River
---------------------------
Go
MAY JUN JUL
2007 2008 2009
1 capture
17 Jun 2008
About this capture
Part Nine (B): Yo Cheku Ya! - UNBELIEVABLE!
by Sakura
Sendoh was staring at the training schedule Ayako had pasted on the small bulletin board
regarding next week’s basketball practice, when he suddenly felt a presence behind him and
then a head fell on his shoulder.
He turned slightly to his right and watch Rukawa’s eyes narrow a little as he too read about the
grueling practices ahead. They both sighed simultaneously.
Rukawa continued to rest his chin on top of Sendoh’s shoulder so they got talk without anyone
else hearing.
“Looks like we have a very full week ahead.” He said.
Sendoh grinned, “Isn’t that good? That means more time to spend with you!”
Rukawa allowed himself a small smile, “Yeah, and the rest of the basketball team.”
“Well… there’s always the locker room… and the shower room…” Sendoh said suggestively.
“Yeah sure… with Ayako and Haruko right behind us glaring daggers at you. I suppose that
would be a real blast.” Rukawa replied sarcastically.
Sendoh frowned when he heard the two manager’s names. He turned slightly to his left and
true enough, from the corner of his eye, he saw the two girls staring at him with a mix of envy
hatred and repulse.
Smothering a snicker and keeping a bout of evil laughter within, Sendoh looked at Rukawa with
a mischievous and devious glint in his eye.
Rukawa raised one eyebrow. He had a bad feeling… /What is Akira up to now?/
Then, Sendoh took hold of his chin and kissed him fully on the lips. It was a long kiss and
Rukawa found himself responding to the sudden passion that overtook Sendoh, ignoring the
laughter and cat calls from the rest of the basketball team guys who are used to acts of love like
this of the other couples in the team.
Just when Sendoh had slid his tongue into Rukawa’s mouth, they both heard a loud gasp.
Dismissing it as just one of the more melodramatic response from the female managers who
are wildly in love with Rukawa, they ignored it and continue kissing.
But a loud and all too familiar cry shook them to their bones and shock them to the core.
“UNBELIEVABLE!!!”
They sprang apart immediately.
Hikoichi stood in the middle of the basketball court, his eyes as round and wide as he gaped at
his ex-captain from Ryonan and the super rookie of his generation.
“UNBELIEVABLE!!!” he gasped again.
He could have continued crying out disbelief if Sendoh had not walked over to him and clamped
a hand on his mouth. He dragged the boy to where Rukawa was standing, the ice king looking
not all ruffled or embarrassed and instead, angry that he was disturbed in the middle of a
private moment.
“Hey Hikoichi, thought I should introduce someone to you first. Someone very important to me.
You still remember Rukawa?” Sendoh gestured at the impassive tall raven haired boy. “He is my
boyfriend.” He continued casually.
Hikoichi stood there frozen, he was too stunned to react.
“But but… what about Koshino sempai? Sendoh-san??” he finally rasped out.
Rukawa’s ice blue eyes harden at the mention of Sendoh’s ex.
“We uh… well… we broke up when we graduated, Hikoichi.” Sendoh said rather awkwardly, he
knows how much Rukawa detested hearing about his past relationship.
“Why???” Hikoichi moaned, “I thought you guys were perfect for each other!” he sighed with
regret and then suddenly his eyes sharpen when the instincts of a reported finally kicked in, “so
of all people why Rukawa? Weren’t you guys rivals? Enemies?” he questioned, sounding so
much like a member of the press Sendoh felt like he was being interviewed, or rather,
interrogated.
“Uh… well... it’s a long story, Hikoichi.” He said lamely praying that some interruption would
take place and stop the nosy freshman from asking any more questions which he could tell was
making Rukawa very pissed off. The tall basketball player tensed beside him.
“That’s enough.” Rukawa stepped forward and stare down coldly at Hikoichi. He took Sendoh’s
hand causing Hikoichi to gasp again. “We are together now. You got a problem?” he said in a
hostile tone.
Hikoichi took a few steps back from the menacing Rukawa and cried out again,
“UNBELIEVABLE!!! I gotta jot this down. First of all the shock of the two of them kissing, then
the news that Sendoh-san is no loner with Koshino-sempai then now this! Rukawa the ice
prince actually holding Sendoh-san’s hand and declaring their status!” Hikoichi said to himself
as he wrote furiously in a small notepad he always carries around. “Unbelievable…” he
mumbled again.
“You think that’s unbelievable? Well here are some more shocking news for you Hikoichi!”
Sakuragi said, his voice booming and echoing off the enclosed walls of the gym.
“Sakuragi…” Mitsui, Hanagata and Maki said at the same time in a warning tone.
“Oh no… Hanamichi…not now…” Miyagi moaned.
Sakuragi ignored them all as he continued boldly, “not only is that fox and spiky a couple, so are
Fujima and Hanagata.” He paused for dramatic effect and was not disappointed.
A shocked Hikoichi turned to the Shoyo graduates and gasped out loud, “Unbelievable!”
Fujima and Hanagata could only glower at the redhead, both knowing that whatever they say
now would be of no use.
“Mitsui and Kogure.” Sakuragi continued.
“Unbelievable!”
“I am going to kill you!!” Mitsui shouted, struggling as Kogure and Hanagata held him back from
running over to punch the redhead.
“Maki and Kiyota.”
“Unbelievable!”
Maki glared at the freshman as he started devising ways to torture the redhead in the
basketball practice later.
“And finally… unbeknownst to all…” Sakuragi’s voice trailed off.
Everyone was staring at him at this point. They all knew about the above four couples but no
one knew anything about the fifth couple and all were intrigued.
“Hanamichi!” Miyagi hissed.
Sakuragi ignored his friend and dropped the bomb. “Ryochin and me.” He concluded.
Miyagi could only try his best not to moan aloud as everyone in the stadium gaped at the two
of them, their mouths hanging open in utter disbelief.
Hikoichi’s cry, “UNBELIEVABLE!!!” shattered the silence and the next moment the stadium
buzzed as everyone started discussing about the latest bit of gossip.
Miyagi lifted his head off his hands and sneaked a peak at Ayako. To his amazement, she was
staring at Sakuragi a stunned expression on her lovely face. /Wait a minute… are those tears in
her eyes?/
Sakuragi smiled a smug self satisfied smile at Miyagi, his look told him plainly, “I told you so” he
mouthed.
Miyagi was never gladder to see Ayako cry than now. /She is crying… crying for me. Because of
me/
/Unbelievable/
___________________________
Go » Part Ten | Quit Playing Games
Back » Part Nine (A) | Yo Checku Ya! - First Contact
======
Go
MAY JUN JUL
2007 2008 2009
1 capture
17 Jun 2008
About this capture
Part Ten: Quit Playing Games
by Sakura
Ayako had to be jolted out of her reverie by Akagi himself before she got regain her senses and
get back to her job as the manager of the basketball team.
She couldn’t deny it.
But she was shocked.
For a few minutes after Sakuragi announced his relationship with Miyagi, she could only feel the
shock running through her head, coursing through her veins. She could think of nothing else
other than: is it really true? For once, Rukawa Kaede did not invade her thoughts.
She found her eyes kept wandering to Miyagi's, silently questioning him, scrutinizing him to see
if there was really any truth in Sakuragi’s assertions. But Miyagi had steadily avoided her gaze.
She had stared so hard till her eyes watered and she was then forced to look away for a while.
Now she struggled to check her ragged emotions within and to wrestle with herself as she
ponders over her feelings for Miyagi. No doubt she sees Miyagi as more than just a friend
because for years, Miyagi had showered her with a lot of love and attention but she did not feel
all hot and flustered or excited when she sees him like how she felt when she sees Rukawa. But
now, a deep thought came to her mind: /Could it be… could it be I see Rukawa as a crush… and
that the person I actually really love is Ryota? Could I have actually made the wrong choice?/
“You seem out of sorts, Ayako san,” a voice beside her said, “shocked by Sakuragi’s revelation?”
she turned to her left where the voice came from, her curls bouncing into her eyes but she
could still see that the person was no other than Sendoh Akira, her biggest love rival.
“No… yes… I mean… yeah, it is shocking isn’t it? Don’t tell me you aren’t surprised.” Ayako said
defensively, even though she doesn’t understand why she was, “even the calm as still water
you couldn’t have expected that…. piece of news.”
“No, I didn’t expect it either. And I am shocked, just as you are… as well as a little doubtful,”
Sendoh replied, “but I am not horrified like you are either.”
“I am not horrified.”
“Oh no? Then I guess I must be mistaken. Those tears shining in your eyes are simply from the
dust particles that gotten into your eyes and your hands are simply shaking because it’s too cold
in the gymnasium.” Sendoh said good naturedly, and smiling, walked away back to Rukawa’s
side.
She watch as the spiky haired sophomore student led his raven haired boyfriend away by the
hand, speaking softly to him while Rukawa listened attentively, his electric blue eyes never
leaving Sendoh’s face. She expected to feel jealousy and anger but instead only a tinge of envy
came.
/Why…/
She shook her head, trying to clear the fog before her eyes but it seemed to make it worst.
Blindly, she pushed past a shocked open mouthed Hikoichi and rushed to the door.
Staring at the green rolling hills ahead, at the distant mountains in the far horizon, she felt
better. But just when she was beginning to breathe normally, she heard running steps behind
her.
Even without turning around, she knew who it was behind her.
/Only he… only he could come to me in a time like this… only he will know… as if instinctively
that I needed him…/
He kept quiet, remaining a respectful distance between them, waiting for Ayako to give him a
signal, a sign that he can go over to her side now.
But she didn’t beckon.
She stood at the edge of the steep slope and staring straight at the vista before her, addressed
him without looking back at him.
“What if I made a mistake? What if… what if… I misread what my heart was trying to tell me?”
she asked softly, “will you forgive me?”
Miyagi nodded his head fervently, too choked up to speak.
And even though Ayako's back was to him, she seem to know his answer and continued
speaking, “ryota… tell me… was Sakuragi for real? Was what he said true?”
Miyagi hesitated. /Should I tell her? But what if she got angry and things become even worst?/
“Quit playing games, Ryota. You should know. I am not a game player… I like things in simple
black and white. So just tell me. True or not true?”
“Not true.” Miyagi replied simply. He hung his head, not wanting to explain further, not wanting
to excuse his lies with meaningless reasons.
He heard a sigh from Ayako and then so softly, it seemed more like a whisper of the wind.
“Youkatta…”
___________________________
Go » Part Eleven (A) | Dilemma - Sendoh in the Middle
Back » Part Nine (B) | Yo Checku Ya! - UNBELIEVABLE!
============
Go
MAY JUN JUL
2007 2008 2009

1 capture
17 Jun 2008
About this capture
Part Eleven (A): Dilemma - Sendoh in the Middle
by Sakura
The Kanagawa University campus is huge and a stranger could get lost in it easily if he was not
careful enough to remember his tracks. And that was what happened to Hikoichi as he
stumbled out of the basketball court following the dramatic confessions of Sakuragi as he
revealed the top secrets of the very scandalous basketball team. In his panic, he had fled the
indoor stadium not daring to believe the unbelievable truths of Miyagi and Sakuragi, Mitsui and
Kogure, Fujima and Hanagata… /Even Maki can actually love despite his strict disciplinary
nature… and to think that he would choose no other than wild monkey Kiyota! But of course
the biggest blow has to come from Sendoh’s relationship with Rukawa. Why did Sendoh san
and Koshino san break up in the first place? They were so close… so close I just assumed they
would be together forever… like stars and night… they can never exist apart… but look at what
happened now? Sendoh is with his biggest nemesis, Rukawa Kaede also known as the ice prince
of Kanagawa…/ Hikoichi clucked his tongue and shook his head, /Very strange indeed… and
very sad too… I thought Sendoh and Koshino could be together forever… maybe no couples,
maybe love really cannot last./
“Unbelievable…” he mumbled to himself.
“What’s so unbelievable, Hikoichi?” a familiar chuckle caused Hikoichi to jerk his head up and
the look on his face registered pure shock. He was so beyond surprised, he could hardly speak.
“Koshino-san?” he managed to croak out after a long at a loss pause.
The floppy haired and skinny guy nodded with his trademark impatience and quickly snapped at
him, “Where’s the basketball court, Hikoichi? I am totally lost!”
Hikoichi couldn’t answer him as yet because the shock of seeing his senior whom he hasn’t met
in the last 2 years has taken quite a toil on his nerves, he could not recover quickly enough. But
luckily, someone else behind answered the question for him, or rather answered Koshino’s
unspoken question so as to render the knowledge of finding the basketball court useless.
“Koshino? What are you doing here?” Sendoh asked incredulously.
But even before Sendoh could finish his question, Koshino as if he had spider sense and could
feel his ex-lover’s presence behind him long before he even spoke, had already flown into
Sendoh’s arms. And Sendoh found himself holding Koshino very naturally, his arms encircling
Koshino’s slim waist just like how they used to two years ago.
For a long moment, neither spoke but just stood perfectly still, and time seem to have gone
back to way before they broke up, when they were still happy together… /Before Koshino had
to move away from Kanagawa and we were forced to end the relationship that we, in fact
everyone of our friends had thought would last forever./
Sendoh rested his chin on top of Koshino’s head, something he can never do with Rukawa
comfortably for their heights are too close, inhaling the familiar scent of Koshino’s shampoo.
Which just happens to have the exact same smell as the shampoo Rukawa uses.
Sendoh jumped guiltily, even though he really hasn’t done anything wrong. But he felt as if
Rukawa’s intense blue beacons are boring two holes at the back of his head and the thought of
his raven haired boyfriend immediately caused Sendoh to push Koshino gently away.
He turned to Hikoichi hoping that by drawing a third person into the conversation, it could
relieve the tension between him and Koshino. However, the shorter boy was nowhere to be
found and only the notebook he always carry around remained lying on the grass, a tad
forlornly.
/Something very grave must have happened to make Hikoichi fled in such a hurry he actually
forgot to take his beloved notebook…/
As if suddenly struck by a thought, he started to look around frantically.
But it was too late, Rukawa who was standing behind some green foliage had already
disappeared from the garden, heading back to the basketball court, an unreadable expression
on his inscrutable face.
Sendoh quickly returned his attention back to Koshino after detecting no other presence in the
small garden and found him reading a notebook very intently.
“Unbelievable! Sendoh-san and Rukawa-san!” Koshino read aloud from Hikoichi’s notebook, he
looked at Sendoh, his eyebrows raised, “what does he mean?” he demanded suspiciously.
For some absurd reason, Sendoh found that he couldn’t meet the accusing eyes of Hikoichi’s
straight on and slid his gaze away, “uh…”
___________________________
Go » Part Eleven (B) | Dilemma - Closer Than You Thought
Back » Part Ten | Quit Playing Games

==!===========
Go
MAY JUN JUL
2007 2008 2009
1 capture
17 Jun 2008
About this capture
Part Eleven (B): Dilemma - Closer Than You Thought
by Sakura
“I can kill that damn red hair monkey! I can’t believe he just said it out loud like that in front of
everybody!” Kiyota fumed, as he and Maki walked out of the gym after practice.
Maki reached out a hand to muss Kiyota’s wet black mane and smiled indulgently as Kiyota
continued ranting, “I mean, although everybody on the team sort of knows about us but he
need not declare it out like that! And to Hikoichi no less!”
Maki laughed when he recalled Hikoichi’s shocked expression as he alternated his wide eyes
between Sakuragi and himself.
“What’s so funny?” Kiyota whined, he hated to be the one complaining and kicking up a big fuss
while Maki simply take things cool, it made him feel like a kid and very inadequate.
“You.” Maki poked a long finger at Kiyota’s nose and pinched his cheek affectionately.
Unwillingly, Kiyota felt a blush creeping up his neck. Maki turned away abruptly and started
walking away in long strides, trying to disguise amused laughter but his trembling shoulders
gave it away. Embarrassed and outraged, Kiyota ran towards Maki’s broad back and threw
himself onto the heavyset shoulders, trying to tackle him to the floor.
“Nobunaga!”
Until a loud booming voice halted the playful wrestle.
Kiyota slid off the shoulders quickly and stood up straight as a nimrod the moment he heard his
father’s voice. “Ahh… otousan.” His voice sounded weak.
He could never be comfortable with his father despite living under the same roof for the last
eighteen years. A military man, Kiyota’s father was disciplined, old fashioned, chauvinistic and
traditional. He never permitted his young son to have such long hair, to indulge in basketball or
to even study in the university. He had wanted him to follow his older brother’s footsteps and
serve the army. But Nobunaga rebelled and had to threaten to leave the family before his
imposing father gave in.
Mr. Kiyota walked up to the two men and gave his son a cool nod. He turned to Maki and to
Kiyota’s amazement, his father had a look of shock on his otherwise stern face when he got a
good look at Maki. He almost seemed at a loss of words. Kiyota had never knew anything or
anybody that could faze his father or at least to cause him to actually show some form of
reaction in public. He always seemed to take everything in stride, as if he expected everything
to happen.
/Kinda like Maki, come to think of it./
Suddenly Kiyota almost gasped aloud when he realized for the first time, the similarities
between Maki and his father, They have the same kind of square, bulky build, the same swarthy
tanned skin, the same kind of stern face, hard jaw, hawk nose…
Maki broke the silence gracefully. “Good evening Kiyota san. I am Nobunaga’s senior on the
basketball team. My name is Maki Shinichi.”
Kiyota’s father echoed the name with a note of disbelief, “Maki?” he exclaimed more to himself
than to anybody. Then suddenly aware of Kiyota’s curious eyes on him, he regained his military
trained composure, shook hands with Maki and then commanded Nobunaga to go home with
him.
Unable to refuse his father’s orders, Kiyota got only follow his father meekly and give Maki an
apologetic look. But Maki just waved him away and mouthed out the words “I will call you”.
Back home, Kiyota braced himself for his father’s wrath for actually forgetting about his
mother’s death anniversary but the tirade never came. Instead, his father retreated to his room
almost as soon as they finished dinner and burned the incense for Kiyota’s late mother.
Kiyota crept to the doorway of his father’s study and opened a door a slit to peek at what he is
doing. He was looking a photograph and was talking to himself. /What the hell!/ The phone in
his adjoining room rang and Kiyota’s father left to answer the call, leaving the mysterious photo
on the table.
Unable to resist the urge, Kiyota hurriedly went to the table and snatched up the photo. To his
disappointment, it wasn’t any big deal. In fact, it was just a picture of a couple and their baby.
Kiyota didn’t know what he was expecting but he was hoping for something more scandalous at
least. A family portrait is hardly exciting at all and is no skeleton to his father’s closet
unless… /Unless the man in the photo is him!/ Kiyota looked harder at the man in yellowed
picture and found himself staring at a much younger and happier version of his father in a
military uniform. /So this is what Otousan looks like when he was young! He used to look more
approachable… maybe marriage changed him. But wait a minute. This is not mom at all. An ex
girlfriend maybe?/ Kiyota chuckled at the knowledge of his father’s past love life. He turned the
photograph around absent mindedly and saw that there was actually a transcript at the back.
“With Love from Maki Natsumi.” Kiyota read aloud.
“Put that down!” a thundering command resounded in the room.
But Kiyota ignored his father, with a trembling voice, he said, “Maki Natsumi is Shinichi’s
mother.”
Kiyota need not look at his father to see that his words have just caused him to turned ashen
pale. He sank into a whirlpool of confusion as jumbled thoughts swam in his mind. And yet one
thing was clear to him. One possibility was obvious to him. And suddenly his father’s strange
reaction to Shinichi, their uncanny resemblance, his father’s unusual behavior tonight and the
photograph all became linked and started to make sense.
With large but unseeing coal black eyes, Kiyota asked his father in a ragged voice, “Is Shinichi
my half brother?”
___________________________
Go » Part Eleven (C) | Dilemma - Red
Back » Part Eleven (A) | Dilemma - Sendoh in the Middle

===========
Go
MAY JUN JUL
2007 2008 2009
1 capture
17 Jun 2008
About this capture
Part Eleven (C): Dilemma - Red
by Sakura
Rukawa dropped his knife on the floor, startling everyone in the restaurant. Everyone with the
exception of the guy sitting opposite him across the table who was staring off into space.
It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what could possibly be the matter that is bothering
the usually happy go lucky basketball player.
/Koshino/
Only he, only Koshino from Ryonan High basketball team, Sendoh’s ex-boyfriend for two years
could cause Sendoh to even lose his appetite. Only he can bend the rules of Sendoh Akira.
/Only Koshino can affect Sendoh… like nobody else does…/
/Not even me/
A waiter hurriedly replaced Rukawa’s knife with a new one and Rukawa took it without a word
of thanks.
The waiter, as if sensing the awkward atmosphere between the two quickly took his leave,
allowing them some privacy.
“Sendoh.” Rukawa finally broke the silence, he could not contain himself anymore.
At the sound of his name, Sendoh jerked his head up with a start. “Yeah?”
And then he frowned as he realized what he had just responded to. /A cool “Sendoh” instead of
the usually gentler “Akira”…/
Fear seems to sip at Sendoh’s blood. /Does Kaede know?/
Rukawa’s blue eyes betrayed nothing, no indication that he held knowledge of the secret
rendezvous between Sendoh and his former lover. He asked nonchalantly, “well, I have finished
eating and you don’t seem to have much of an appetite, so why don’t we go?”
Sendoh nodded gratefully. He was glad that Rukawa was the one who requested to leave. The
day’s events were taking quite a toil on him, he just wants to go home and think about some
matters.
/Like why was I so afraid to let Koshino know that I am now with Rukawa/
Once outside, Rukawa casually took Sendoh’s hand to lead him to take a detour in their favorite
park for a night stroll. But at the felt of Rukawa’s strangely cold and yet at the same time, warm
hand, Sendoh almost recoiled and before he could register what he was doing, he had shaken
off the hand. If Rukawa was shocked, or angry, or hurt, he did not show it. He merely continued
on his way, as if Sendoh had not so visibly shrunk away from his touch.
They stepped into the deserted park, their basketball shoes making unusually loud scuffling
noise as they stepped on the fallen petals of the various flowers.
Rukawa came to a stop near the rose bush. He picked up a handful of fallen red rose petals
from the grass and stared at them intently, his back to Sendoh.
“Red is for passion. White is for reciprocation. Yellow is for rejection.” He said softly, “If I were
to give you the red…”
Rukawa turned around and held Sendoh in his piercing blue gaze, “if I give you the red,” he
stretched out his palm revealing a handful of red petals, “which one will you give me in return?”
Sendoh looked at Rukawa, dumbfounded.
He tried to smile and brush Rukawa’s fears and insecurities away by inserting an upbeat and
flirtatious note into his voice, “why? Do you still need to ask? Of course it’s the…”
Against his will, Sendoh paused for a while. But even though it was only a minuscule second,
the perceptive Rukawa still detected the hesitation in Sendoh’s words, his voice /And in his
eyes…/
And that slightest hesitation was enough.
He threw the red petals into the air, watching Sendoh through the rain of red between them,
he saw the confusion whirling in his eyes and decide not to press him further.
“Don’t answer now.” Rukawa said, before turning on his heels and walking away from Sendoh,
walking away from the sea of red.
Sendoh knew he should call Rukawa back, or run to him bearing a stalk red rose, but he felt like
he was rooted to the ground, surrounded by the red petals. He could only watch Rukawa’s
lonely silhouette slowly fading into the darkness of the night, powerless to do anything to call
him back. /For what can I say now?/
And the smell of the red petals lingered on after Rukawa left. It stayed on with Sendoh even as
he made his own way home. It was in his hair, on his clothes, under his skin… /Everywhere/
And the view with which Sendoh beheld the world was misty as well. /Hazy with the color
red…/
But suddenly Sendoh found his eyesight sharpened, his view no longer perturbed by the red
that seemed to surround him, he looked ahead and saw Koshino’s thin shrouded figure in the
dark.
As Sendoh approached nearer, Koshino stepped out from the shadows of the night and out into
the lamplight.
Sendoh’s heart sank. He was wearing a red sweatshirt.

/My red sweatshirt that I gave to him two years ago/
/The red sweatshirt he swore he would never wear again…/
“Akira! Where have you been?” Koshino’s voice was shrill with worry and he crossed the
remaining distance between them by running and throwing himself into Sendoh’s arms.
Sendoh hesitated for a split second before returning the embrace, clasping the trembling
Koshino tightly, “nowhere… nowhere at all.”
Koshino didn’t reply, he rested his head on top of Sendoh’s shoulder, on his favorite nook of the
broad shoulders and was so still that Sendoh would have thought that he had fallen asleep had
he not felt the trembling in Koshino’s limbs.
“Come on, let’s go to the hotel. You are so cold!” Sendoh took off his light windbreaker and put
it on for Koshino, “lets go.” He said and turned away from Koshino hastily, walking slightly
ahead first. For some inexplicable reason, he couldn’t face Koshino without thinking about
Rukawa.
But then he realized he was talking to the air for there was no reply from Koshino. He paused in
his footsteps, still refusing to turn around. “Koshino?”
The moon shone brightly above them, casting a bright white glow to lit the path they were on
and revealing the unmoving body of an unconscious Koshino.
Sendoh’s heart skipped a beat. “Kosh Kosh!”

___________________________
Go » Part Eleven (D) | Dilemma - Where Does My Future Lie?
Back » Part Eleven (B) | Dilemma - Closer Than You Thought
======
http://www.senrusen.net:80/fics/s/do/11d.html
Go
MAY JUN JUL
2007 2008 2009
1 capture
17 Jun 2008
About this capture
Part Eleven (D): Dilemma - Where Does My Future Lie?
by Sakura
After basketball practice, Hanagata trudged to the dean’s room with heavy footsteps.
/Is this going to be about that D I got for my last quiz? Gee… it was only one small slip! Is there a
need to call me to the office…/
“Don’t worry about it, Toru-kun! I doubt the dean will scold you for that last grade you got. He
understood that it was because you were too caught up with basketball training. Just tell him
you will balance your time better from now on!” Fujima smiled and patted his back. “He won’t
do anything to the top science student of Kanagawa College, for whom else will he send to
those Olympiad competitions?”
Hanagata met the grinning eyes of Fujima and felt the tensed muscles at the back unknot a
little. “You are right. He’s just gonna give me a warning.” /I am such an idiot. How can I let
Fujima worry for me?/ “So, Kenji you will be at Mitsui’s place isn’t it? Well, I will drop by later
then…see you later ok?” he plastered a convincing smile on his face and waved cheerily at
Fujima as they went on the separate ways at the corridor junction.
The smile remained on his face until he went into the dean’s room and saw the serious look the
dean had on his already very stern face. Hanagata gulped, his optimism has disappeared in a
flash.
“Hanagata.”
“Yes, sir?”
“You better sit down. I have serious news for you.”
Hanagata sank into a chair gratefully. His legs were turning to jelly and was about to give way.
Not a person to beat around the bush, the dean dropped the bomb almost immediately, “For
the sake of the country, the sake of the college, for the glory of your family and for your own
future, will you go to America?”
Hanagata’s mouth fell open. “Huh?” he blurted. /America…what does he mean?/ He shook his
head, trying to clear his thoughts and said, “Sir… you mean go there to study?”
“Yes. Hanagata. I have applied on your behalf to the prestigious University of Stanford. They
have an excellent biotechnology department. The best in the world really. They are holding a
special class for talented students all the way to doctorate. I didn’t think you could get
accepted, I mean there are so many smart students around too… but apparently they are very
impressed with your abilities and they have invited you over. As for the school fees, the
Japanese government will be paying your way for you, to them you are a very important
stepping stone for our country to create our very own biotech industry…” the dean droned on
but Hanagata was no longer listening. He had heard enough.
/I am going to America. Stanford! Doctorate in biotech!/ A million possibilities raced through

Hanagata’s head. He knew exactly what he wants to do when he graduate, what he will do for
Japan, the things he could invent… he felt an adrenalin rush to his head just by thinking about
it.
“Sir…” he interrupted, “I shall be very happy to accept.”
“Accept? Of course I know you will accept. It’s an excellent opportunity for you. I already knew
you will accept. But the question is how are you going to drop your life in Japan, leave your
parents, leave your home, leave the basketball team, all your friends… It will be hard for you.”
Hanagata’s heart sank. /He is right… in my excitement I totally forgotten about my family…
friends… Kenji/
“But you will still go.”
Hanagata looked up when he heard the determined tone of the dean’s.

“You must go.”
Hanagata looked down at his feet, unable to meet the harsh gaze of the dean’s. “I will… I will
think about this, sir. Please excuse me now.”
“Tomorrow morning.”
Hanagata nodded and got up hastily to leave but just before he could shut the door behind him,
the dean told him in a steel cold voice, “you have to make sacrifices, Hanagata. That’s just how
life is.”
/Yes… I know I have to make sacrifices… but the question now is: what should I sacrifice? My
future, my dream, my ambitions, my career, my aspirations… or Kenji?/
/Where does my future lie?/
___________________________
Go » Part Eleven (E) | Dilemma - A Ghost of My Past
Back » Part Eleven (C) | Dilemma - Red
=========
http://www.senrusen.net:80/fics/s/do/11e.html
Go
MAY JUN JUL
2007 2008 2009
1 capture
17 Jun 2008
About this capture
Part Eleven (E): Dilemma - A Ghost of My Past
by Sakura
“Hiroaki… Hiroaki…” Sendoh said softly as Koshino slowly regained consciousness after fainting
on the streets earlier.
“Akira… where am I? And what time is it?” A weak voice answered him.
“You are in the hospital. It’s almost twelve am in the morning. Now, shh… don’t try to talk
anymore… just rest. You want some water?” Sendoh asked gently.
Koshino ignored his question and turned away on his pillow, refusing to meet the eyes of
Sendoh. “You know, don’t you? The doctors told you.”
“Kosh Kosh… why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you tell me you left Japan, left me to go for
treatment?” Sendoh’s voice cracked. “Why didn’t you tell me you are suffering from leukemia?
Why did you lie to me, say you don’t love me anymore?”
“Because I love you. That’s why I didn’t tell you.”
Sendoh felt a fresh wave of tears brimming in his eyes and tried to blink them away. /Kosh Kosh
looks so small in that huge bed… so fragile and so vulnerable/ Suddenly, he felt an urge to
sweep him up in his arms and hug him close, to try to shelter him, protect him from all the hurt
in the world, all the pain he must be going through.
“Please leave, Akira… I want to sleep now.” Koshino buried his face underneath the blanket. He
didn’t want to let Sendoh see him cry.
The bed trembled and shook slightly and Sendoh knew Koshino was sobbing.
“Right…” he said softly before walking out of the room.
Although it was twelve in the morning, Sendoh felt strangely wide awake. He didn’t want to go
back to the hostel as yet, he wanted to go somewhere to think. Before he knew what he was
doing, he found himself walking to Ryonan High School.
He climbed up the roof of the basketball stadium and lied down facing the stars. So much had
happened the last few hours, he felt disorientated, like he has totally lost his bearings.
/I thought… I thought it was all over between me and Kosh Kosh… I thought Kaede is the one I
love now.. And I do love Kaede… but then how can explain this rush of feelings, of emotions I
suddenly feel for Hiroaki now? When I saw him just lose consciousness… the long wait in the
hospital… when the doctor told me about his medical condition, Kaede didn’t even crossed my
mind. It felt like time had rewinded… like Kosh and I never parted, like as if we were still back in
high school and I thought Kosh and I will be together forever…/
Sendoh closed his eyes. He could almost hear Koshino’s laughter as he chased him all around
courtyard, trying to force down his homemade lunch down his throat, almost hear his cheers
“Ike ike Akira!” as he played another one – on – one with Fukuda, almost hear the impatient
yells of his ex-lover’s “just shut up, Hikoichi!”, and the feel of Koshino’s hand as they sat down
here, on the rooftop, after a grueling practice, silently watching the sunset.
A soft but sharp voice interrupted the memories.
“If I were to give you the red, what will you give me in return?”
Sendoh sat up straight.
/Kaede and I have come a long way too… from that time when he told me with such coldness “I
hate you”, told me I was “like the wind” he could never grasp… to now/
/I love him, I do/
/But then how can I explain this revival of feelings for Koshino?/
His cell phone rang suddenly. In the deep silence of the night, it sounded like a bomb. Sendoh
quickly answered the phone.
“Hello?”
“Sendoh-san? Your friend, Koshino-san is in serious danger now. Will you come to the hospital
immediately?”
“I will be right here.” Sendoh croaked.
He rushed to the roadside in a mad dash, too frantic to think anymore. He flagged down a taxi
and jumped into it, “kanagawa general hospital please. And hurry.” He told the driver urgently.
As they sped towards the hospital, Sendoh cursed himself, /Why did I leave him? Why didn’t I
stay with him?/ He stopped berating himself to pray for Koshino, /Please please let him be
alright…/
He didn’t even realize that he had totally forgotten about Rukawa.
A song was playing on the radio -
/For years
Is been you, you, you and you.
All those tears
Are for you, you, you and still you/
/But you left me scarred/
/Now someone else comes along,
Just as you finally beckon.
I waited for so long,
You have almost been forgotten/
/But you still wash over me like a flood/

/Why are you, (a ghost of my past)
Still haunting me?
How can you, (a ghost of my past)
Still affect me?/
“Kangawa General Hospital.” The driver announced as he pulled to a stop at the foyer.
Sendoh stuffed a handful of bills into his hand and stumbled out of the car, sprinting into the
hospital before the driver could react. Then he looked down at the crumpled cash in his hands
and his eyes widened.
“Sir! Mister! Your change!” he hollered out of the window.
But Sendoh was already out of sight.
___________________________
Go » Part Eleven (F) | Dilemma - Promises
Back » Part Eleven (D) | Dilemma - Where Does My Future Lie?
============
http://www.senrusen.net:80/fics/s/do/11f.html
Go
MAY JUN JUL
2007 2008 2009
1 capture
17 Jun 2008
About this capture
Part Eleven (F): Dilemma - Promises
by Sakura
Some one was pounding away on the wooden door of Mitsui’s room.
“Damn it! Can’t we have some peace here? It’s already twelve midnight for god’s sake!” the ex-
gangster swore and stalked to the door, a fierce scowl on his face. He was winning the third
game against Maki on street fighter and he didn’t want anything or anybody to interrupt him in
his chance to annihilate his basketball captain.
“I will be back, Maki, to continue the thrashing.” He pointed one long finger at the direction of
Maki who was here after Kiyota ditched him to go home for dinner, along with Kogure and
Fujima who also came to seek refuge because Hanagata had an appointment with the dean.
“I can play on your behalf, Hisashi.” Kogure offered.
“I rather not…” Mitsui grimaced, Kogure may be good at many things but playing video games is
certainly not his forte.
“What?” he barked when he swung the door open.
The person outside didn’t even flinched. Instead he handed a crumpled brown envelope to
Mitsui wordlessly and fled. “What the hell… hey come back here you little twit!” he shouted
down the hallway.
But the person did not turned back.
“I will be right back.” Mitsui said to the room and gave chase.
Unfortunately the moment he turned the corner, he saw no sign of the young boy. The only
clue left to the mystery was the envelope. Mitsui hastily ripped it open and pulled out a piece of
paper with black markings scrawled over it.
“If you want to save Tetsuo, come to bay water beach now.”
Mitsui was stunned for a moment.
It has been a long time since he last spoke to Tetsuo and he had no idea what trouble he has
gotten himself in but it sure sounds serious. His first instinct was to run to bay water beach now
but then something held him back as well.
He promised Anzai Sinseh and Kogure that he would never, ever, fight again.
But this time, if he goes to the beach to save Tetsuo, it’s obvious that a fight is inevitable.
/Tetsuo… Anzai Sinseh… Min-kun…/
Mitsui slumped against the white plaster wall and slowly slid to the floor.
/What should I do? Ignore this message, pretend nothing happened and go back to the room to
play Nintendo… or break my promises to sinseh and Min-kun? But if I don’t go… what will
happen to Tetsuo?/
“And yet even if you go, what can you do? You are obviously no match for them. Don’t go!
Don’t fall in this ambush… it’s a trap!” A traitorous voice said in his head.
Mitsui found himself nodding and agreeing with what his inner coward said but when he lifted
his hand to touch his chin, he felt the small scar there and was immediately reminded of the
past.
/flashback/
Mitsui’s hands and legs were tied to a pole and someone was holding a long sharp knife,
charging right at him, aiming at the exposed neck.
Mitsui was paralyzed with fear. He couldn’t think anymore and for a second, his heart simply
stopped beating.
But then out of nowhere, Tetsuo kicked the man’s wrist causing the knife to fly up to the air and
fall back to the ground, grazing Mitsui’s chin slightly, taking a bit of the flesh with it. The wound
stung and bled a little but when the knife cluttered to the floor with a loud metallic sound,
Mitsui felt life coming back to his limbs and his breathing though ragged, became normal again.
“Tetsuo…” he croaked.
/end flashback/
Mitsui gritted his teeth and stood up. He looked to his left where his room was and then at his
right where the elevator was.
Clenching his fist, he took a sharp right turn and broke into a run.
/Sorry Anzai Sinseh. Wait for me, Tetsuo!/
And after one last backward glance, Mitsui dashed into the elevator, just as the doors slid shut.
/Sorry Min-kun…/
___________________________
Go » Part Twelve (A) | Shattered - Till There Be No More
Back » Part Eleven (E) | Dilemma - A Ghost of My Past
=========
Go
MAY JUN JUL
2007 2008 2009
1 capture
17 Jun 2008
About this capture
Part Twelve (A): Shattered - Till There Be No More
by Sakura
Rukawa awoke from the sound of tapping glass and jumped out to peer down the window.
But there was nobody in the deep darkness of the early morning.
The usually deep sleeper found himself unable to get a good rest, Rukawa was frustrated, he
kept drifting in and out of consciousness. He couldn’t even call it sleep for it provided him no
rest at all. Somehow, he still felt very tired.
After he and Sendoh had parted, he had come home straight, waiting for Sendoh to call or to
show up personally, but he didn’t. And now, it was almost three in the morning, but there was
still no sign of him. /He is not even in his own room! Where is he?/
He threw off the blankets and put on his slippers.
/I will go crazy if I continue to stay coop up in this room… I need to get out…/
/But out where?/
/Where can I go?/
There was a soft tapping noise against Rukawa’s dorm window. Startled, he looked out and
realized that it was starting to drizzle. And then it suddenly occurred to Rukawa where he could
go.
Shrugging on his windbreaker hurriedly, he kicked off the slippers and stuffed his feet into his
track shoes.
Minutes later, he was already on his way to the dock at the outskirts of the town.
The rain was steadily becoming heavier but Rukawa was oblivious to it. When he finally reached
his destination and once again found himself looking at the gorgeous spray of water, so wild
and out of control, he felt his tensed muscles relaxing. He let the hood of the windbreaker fall
off his raven head and the sensation of a cold fall of water on his dry head was both shocking
and releasing. He tilted his head to the dark sky and opened his mouth slightly to taste the
rain. /Slightly bitter…/ he grimaced and shut his mouth immediately; he closed his eyes and for
a long moment, just stood there to enjoy the splash and splatter of the cold rush of water on his
head.
Although the raindrops were getting bigger but strangely enough, they were gentle enough not
to hurt Rukawa’s soft skin and he could almost have fallen asleep in his standing position, so
comfortable he finally was, with the loud rain and the roar of the waves against the wooden
dock so loud that they drowned all voices in his head and chased away all doubts and fears.
But the thud of incoming footsteps penetrated the protective wall of Nature and Rukawa
opened his eyes, instinctively, he knew even without turning around who the approaching
person was.
The loud footfalls echoed loudly in Rukawa’s head. It was giving him a headache… and very
strangely, causing this strange ache in his heart as well. He refused to turn around to
acknowledge the person but merely maintained his position. However, he found that he could
not close his eyes with ease anymore. Fear was reflected in the ice blue orbs and he tried to
shut them tight.
The footsteps were coming nearer, but hen it abruptly stopped, maintaining a distance from
the frozen figure of Rukawa.
“Kaede…”
Rukawa’s back stiffened and his eyes opened wide when he heard the tonelessness of Sendoh’s
voice. Suddenly, the rain and the waves seemed a lot softer than before. Instead, Sendoh’s
voice became as loud as the thunder that was threatening above them.
“Kaede… turn around… look at me.”
Against his own wishes, Rukawa found himself turning around slowly. He kept his eyes on
Sendoh’s dark blue ones, not allowing them to travel down to his hands to look at what they
were holding in those long thin fingers. Long, thin and trembling fingers.
Sendoh’s hands dropped to his sides and something light landed on the wooden platform. It
made such a soft sound that nobody could possibly hear anything as it fell on the ground. Yet to
Rukawa, the soft whisper of a thud seemed like the loudest sound he ever heard. It was the
sound of a huge and heavy door slammed in his face. And the sound had such a finality that
Rukawa physically stiffened.
He turned away from it, from Sendoh’s retreating back almost defiantly and tilted his head to
the sky again. Was it his imagination or had the rain gotten stronger? The night darker? The
waves louder?
His lips parted unwillingly and he had a taste of the bitter rain again, except this time, it had a
hint of saltiness to it.
The rain has definitely become much heavier than before, it is in fact shaping out to be a storm
and the falling raindrops are no longer gentle splashes to Rukawa’s head. It stung and hurt the
soft skin of his pale face, almost like hail instead of rain, but Rukawa ignored the pain and
welcomed the assault of the rain and wind that was whipping the thin windbreaker around his
thin body and tossing his hair wildly. The furious roar of the storm hurt his ears but he refused
to cover them or try to shut out the loud noise. It kept him from hearing the echo of the
slamming door in his head over and over again.
He stood there, defenseless against the attack of the storms, for a long time until the rain had
ceased to a fine drizzle and the hint of sun was breaking through the deepest darkness that
came before dawn.
He turned around abruptly, and walked back to the campus with weary but determined long
strides. His wet clothes clung onto him but he didn’t care. His track shoes were ruined and
making horrible squeaky sounds as he strode efficiently but he didn’t care.
He left the single stalk of yellow rose untrampled on the wooden platform.
/It’s all over/
/No more love/

/Not for a long long time…/
/Yellow. Yellow. Yellow./
/Till there be no more…/
/Red petals fallen and trampled on,
All was forgotten.
White roses burned to ashes, turned to dust,
There never was.
Yellow flowers shall linger in the wind,
As autumn falls.
And the heart could love no more/
/The last star burnt out its own life,
The flame has melted in its own wax.
If the deepest darkness falls before dawn,
Then darkness shall reign,
And everything shall cease to be,
For this sun sets and rises no more/
/And I too, shall become a nothing,
“If I were to give you the red,

Which one will you give in return?”
I can’t go on digging roses from your grave,
Till there be no more/
/No more to give,
Was there ever any to receive?
And as the heart loves no more,
Tears too, there shall be no more/
/Yellow, yellow, yellow…
No more/
___________________________
Go » Part Twelve (B) | Shattered - Incestuous
Back » Part Eleven (F) | Dilemma - Promises
========
Go
MAY JUN JUL
2007 2008 2009
1 capture
17 Jun 2008
About this capture
Part Twelve (B): Shattered - Incestuous
by Sakura
“Nobunaga?”
Kiyota jumped. “Shin- er, Maki.”
Maki wrinkled his brow. “What’s wrong with you?”
Kiyota turned away from Maki and walked closer to the lake in the middle of the biggest park
on Kanagawa University campus. “I want to tell you something.”
“I figured… so what is it?” Maki asked dryly, “and why must you turn away from me?”
Kiyota took a deep breath. He could hardly believe the words that are going to come out from
his mouth but he steeled his heart. /I have to say it… no matter what…/
“Well?” Maki prompted.

“I want a break up.”
Maki froze.
“That’s what I wanted to say.” Kiyota went on. “Goodbye.” He choked on his words.
He turned to leave but found himself in Maki’s strong embrace instead. Unable to help himself,
he pressed his tear streaked face against the soft cotton of Maki’s tee shirt. Maki held him
without a word but Kiyota knew that the calm was deceptive.
“Why?” Maki asked simply. He hugged Kiyota tighter. “Why?” he asked again, his voice ragged
with unshed tears.
Kiyota couldn’t reply, he couldn’t bring himself to tell Maki the truth, the horrible truth he only
found out last night. He pushed against Maki feebly, “let me go…”
Maki pushed Kiyota away so that he could meet his eyes. He bent down slightly and stared
unblinking into Kiyota’s red-rimmed eyes. “Tell me you don’t love me anymore. Tell me. And I
will let you go. Look at me in the eye now and tell me you don’t love me anymore that’s why
you want to leave me!” Maki thundered, losing his cool.
Kiyota swallowed, “I… I don’t love you anymore.” He said, flinching despite himself as he heard
the lies he spoke.
“I don’t believe you.” Maki pronounced. He continued holding on to Kiyota and shook his
shoulders roughly. “Tell me the truth! Why?” he asked, a hint of desperation in his voice.
Kiyota’s resolve broke. He broke himself out of the iron hold and stumbled backwards,
slammed his back against a tree.
“Because you are my half brother.” He said quietly.
Maki stood stunned. “What… what are you talking about?” he asked softly, his voice shaky.
“Your father whom you have been looking for all these years. The man you hated for leaving
you and your mother behind, never keeping in touch with you all these years. Well guess what?
He is my father!” Kiyota yelled.
“No…”
“We are brothers, Shinichi! We are brothers! That’s why we can’t be together! Now you know…
now you understand why we have to break up!” Kiyota broke down and sobbed bitterly as he
knelt on the floor.
Maki was dazed with shock.
“Brothers… you and me?” he kept repeating to himself.
Maki felt like he was treading on thin ice and now the ice had shattered into a million pieces,
and he is plunging down into the cold ocean.
/No… it can’t be…/
___________________________
Go » Part Twelve (C) | Shattered - Distance
Back » Part Twelve (A) | Shattered - Till There Be No More
========
Go
MAY JUN JUL
2007 2008 2009
1 capture
17 Jun 2008
About this capture
Part Twelve (C): Shattered - Distance
by Sakura
Fujima shut the door to Mitsui’s room quietly, not wanting to wake Kogure up. He had woke up
in the morning only to realize that neither Mitsui nor Hanagata had shown up and that Maki
had already left early in the morning.
He stifled a yawn as he walked back to his own room. It had been a long night of Nintendo
games and heart to heart talks for the three basketball players as they talked about their
respective partners. Fujima smiled a self satisfied smile as he recalled Maki’s words “I really
envy you and Hanagata. When will Kiyota and I progress to your stage?” as well as Kogure’s
compliments “you guys really complement each other. I can’t imagine you all apart.”
/It’s kinda true… Toru and I have been together for a long time… so much so I can’t imagine my
life without him by my side/
Fujima was so preoccupied with his thoughts he almost walk into Hanagata who was standing
outside his room, leaning against the door as he waited for Fujima to come back.
“Toru!” Fujima gasped in shock as he stumbled backwards.
“Kenji.” Hanagata greeted him as he hurried to steady him. His hands still on Fujima’s slender
shoulders, he look down at his face, a solemn expression on his face. “We need to talk.”
/We need to talk? That sounds like something couples say before they break up or
something…/ Fujima started to worry, his voice high pitched with anxiety, he asked, “What’s
wrong?”
“Maybe we should go inside.” Hanagata said quietly.
Once inside the room, Hanagata shut the door silently and took a deep breath. He look around
the room which was as familiar as his own, and sighed, adding to Fujima’s rising fear.
“What is it?” he asked his face ashen and his fingernails digging into Hanagata’s forearms.
Suddenly, Hanagata swept Fujima into his arms, hugging him so tightly until Fujima’s face was
pressed into his shoulders. Hanagata took the whole night to make up his mind and to plan his
words carefully so as to break the news to Fujima as gently as possible. He came to Fujima’s
room with the resolve to be calm and collected and not to let passion overtake him. But
somehow when he saw Fujima, heard his voice, felt his anxiety, he felt this overwhelming love
for Fujima so much so that he has lost his wits, he couldn’t bring himself to tell him his decision.
Fujima struggled out of the suffocating embrace and forced Hanagata to look at him in the eye.
“Tell me.” He commanded in a shaky voice.
Hanagata cupped Fujima’s small face in his own big hands and kissed him almost fiercely, taking
Fujima’s breath away. But just as abruptly as the kiss started, he broke away. “I love you, Kenji.”
He declared passionately, panting slightly.
Fujima nodded mutely.
“I love you. I love you. I love you. Kenji! I love you!” Hanagata yelled in increasing agitation. He
took a deep breath to calm himself down, and continued in a softer tone, “and just because I
am going away to America does not mean I love you any less.”
Fujima’s hands flew up to his mouth. “America?” he gasped. Tears started to form in his blue
eyes and the world suddenly turned blurry. He shook his head frantically, “what do mean, you
are going to America?” he asked in a shrill voice.
Hanagata rushed to his side to comfort him. He hugged him gently and whispered into his ear,
rubbing his back reassuringly. “I am offered a scholarship to study in Stanford. And I … I have
accepted it.” He explained, “But that doesn’t mean that I don’t love you anymore… in fact, I
know this is asking a lot from you but… I hope we don’t have to break up… I can’t live without
you, Kenji!”
“Then don’t go!” Fujima cried, “Why must you go? If you love me… then stay!”
“I can’t. I have to go. And I will go.” Hanagata said sadly.
Fujima pushed Hanagata away forcefully. He pointed a long shaking finger at the door and in a
clear voice told Hanagata, “then you get out.”
“Kenji…” Hanagata implored, reaching for him again.
“Get out!”
The door clicked shut, leaving Fujima sobbing wildly into his pillow, alone in his room.
___________________________
Go » Part Twelve (D) | Shattered - Never Again
Back » Part Twelve (B) | Shattered - Incestuous
======
Go
MAY JUN JUL
2007 2008 2009
1 capture
17 Jun 2008
About this capture
Part Twelve (D): Shattered - Never Again
by Sakura
“I shall make sure you can never play basketball again, Mitsui!” a tall man with long greasy
black hair threatened as he held a metal rod in his hands and made the motion of smashing all
of Mitsui’s fingers which were pressed down by two of his lackeys while Mitsui laid sprawled on
the wet sand, too weak to defend himself.
A few steps away from Mitsui was the prone body of Tetsuo, who was lying in a bloodied heap.
“No…” Mitsui groaned. “Please… no…” he pleaded softly as tears of desperation and pain
clouded his vision. He was almost losing consciousness.
“Die, Mitsui!” the three men laughed evilly.
“NO!!!” Kogure woke up screaming.
/It was only a dream. Only a dream/ He put one hand on his chest trying to calm his racing
heart. It had been a long time since he had a nightmare. /A bad omen…/
Kogure look around the small and messy room and found himself alone. /Maki and Fujima must
have already gone back to their own rooms… and Hisashi? Where has he gone? He didn’t even
come back the entire night!/ Kogure jumped out of bed, suddenly worried. /Oh my god… where
could he possibly have gone?/
The shrill ring of the telephone interrupted his thoughts. He pounced on the small cordless
phone, hoping it was Mitsui, “hello?” he said almost fearfully.
“Hi. Is this Mitsui Hisashi’s room?” a wooden voice asked.
“Yes…” Kogure replied, pushing up his glasses nervously.
“And who are you to him?” the voice asked in a monotone.
“I am… uh... his best friend.” Kogure replied, “Kogure Kiminobu.”
“Well Mr. Kogure, maybe you would like to come down to the Kanagawa general hospital. Mr.
Mitsui was found early this morning unconscious on a deserted beach with another person,
both severely wounded. We suspect it might be a gang fight. It would be good if you could
come down and give us your testimony-”
Without even waiting for the police officer to finish speaking, Kogure had already dashed out of
the room.
Once in the hospital, he ignored the questions of the police officers, shrug them off impatiently
and instead went to look for the doctor who was just coming out of the operating theatre.
“How is he? How is he, Mitsui Hisashi?” he asked urgently.

“He was given a harsh blow to his head… still in a coma now... well, we will just have to wait
and see what happens when he wakes up from his concussion.” The doctor said, shaking his
head, “it could go either way really…”
Kogure turned as white as a sheet. He would have collapsed if the doctor had not added, “But
at least he is out of any mortal danger already. There just might be… serious repercussions…
concussions can be quite tricky.”
Kogure grabbed a banister for support. He exhaled loudly. “May I … may I go in to see him?” he
asked timidly.
The police officers all shook their heads, “I don’t think so.” One of them said.
Kogure opened his mouth to argue, to plead, but then a nurse exclaimed, “He is awake!” and all
thoughts flew out of his head. Without pausing to think about the severity of his actions, he
shoved past several police officers guarding the room and rushed into the intensive care unit
room.
He ran to Mitsui’s bedside and kneeling down, peered into his face, all the while holding his
hand gently.
Mitsui blinked once, twice. He groaned when he opened his eyes to the blinding white lights.
He automatically turned to his right where someone was holding on to his hand.
He opened his mouth to speak.
“Who are you?”

___________________________
Go » Part Twelve (E) | Shattered - Rain of Blood
Back » Part Twelve (C) | Shattered - Distance
=====
http://www.senrusen.net:80/fics/s/do/12e.html
Go
MAY JUN JUL
2007 2008 2009
1 capture
17 Jun 2008
About this capture
Part Twelve (E): Shattered - Rain of Blood
by Sakura
Sendoh kicked the door to Koshino’s room with such force that the whole room turned to look
at him. Sendoh ignored all of them and rushed to the bedside, only to find the bed empty, the
bed sheets in perfect condition, as if unslept in.
“Where is he?” he asked, grabbing the sleeve of the nearest doctor, “where is Hiroaki?”
“Sendoh… we have been trying to contact you. After you left this afternoon, Koshino suddenly
went missing. And till now, we still haven’t found him.” The doctor explained gravely, he
pinched the bridge of his nose. “We thought that he might have gone to look for you… looks
like he didn’t.”
Sendoh struggled to remain calm. “I fell asleep the moment I reached home that’s why I missed
all your calls. I rushed here the moment I woke up and heard from the nurse that Koshino went
out…” He replied.
“We only found this.” A nurse said and handed him a piece of note.
/Maybe there will be stars tonight… I miss those nights most. But I don’t think its going to
happen anymore… I love you always forever/
Sendoh shut his eyes tight to prevent the tears from flowing down. /Oh god… why did I even
leave his side? Why did I listen to him and went back to shower? I should have stayed!/
“Well, let’s be calm about this. Koshino is in no condition to wander around… we have got to
find him now. You have any idea where he could have gone to?”
Sendoh kicked the bedside table in frustration. “It’s been almost six hours since he gone missing
isn’t it?” he asked accusingly, “what have you all been doing?” he yelled.
“Please get a hold of yourself Sendoh. None of us want anything to happen to Koshino either.”
A female doctor put a comforting hand on Sendoh’s shoulder.
Sendoh shrug it off angrily, he pointed one long finger at the doctors and nurses and told them
coldly, “If anything happens to Koshino… I will hold you responsible.” He glared at them and
stalked out of the room abruptly.
Once outside, he broke into a sprint. /Kosh Kosh! Where can he be? God… please let him be
ok… I will never ask you for anything…/
Half an hour later, a taxi slowed to a stop outside the playground near Koshino’s old house.
Sendoh paused outside the empty park. He knew that if Koshino was not at this place, if he had
guessed wrongly, then Koshino might be in even more serious danger, but Sendoh had no time
to consider other options. He could only take a gamble and hope for the best.
Without another moment of hesitation, he scaled the low fence and landed lightly on the other
side of the gate. He ran towards the playground, heart in his throat, too frantic to think about
anything other than pray that Koshino will be alright.
He bent over slightly, resting his palms on his knees and he doubled over to catch his breath.
Anxiety was diminishing his stamina and fear caused his breathlessness. He couldn’t explain it,
but somehow, he had a bad omen. He had that feeling ever since the doctor had told him last
night after Koshino’s emergency operation that Koshino might not be able to make it through
winter.
The moon was full tonight and even though the sky was cloudy, the area surrounding the moon
was clear. It cast an eerie white glow on the playground. The air was chilly and Sendoh shivered
slightly. The leaves rustled loudly in the wind and Sendoh could almost smell the unfallen rain.
The playground was deserted. The only sign of life was the empty swing swinging gently in the
wind.
/Where is he?/
Sendoh was beginning to lose hope.
/Every minute, every second I waste here could make a difference… it can determine his life!/
Suddenly in the deep silence of the night, he thought he heard a voice.
/“Akira… you still remember those times when we would stay back after basketball practice?
We would climb up to the roof and just lie down, look at the stars and talk… I miss those days
most.”/
/Ryonan!/
Sendoh looked at his watch. /Almost eleven now… can I still make it?/
He ran in the direction to his old school and within minutes, he was already at the gate.
The lock at the gate was broken.
/He is here!/
Sendoh viciously kicked the metal gate wide open, causing a creaking sound loud enough to
wake the dead. But at that same moment, thunder ripped the black tapestry above, the loud
rumble almost caused Sendoh to believe that the ground beneath him was shaking. He looked
up at the sky and felt the first drop of rain.
/I gotta hurry/
He hurried to the basketball stadium but when he was only about two meters away from the
door that could lead him to the staircase to go up to the rooftop, Sendoh stopped suddenly.
For a long moment, he felt like he couldn’t look up. And as he stared almost hypnotically at his
shoes, and felling the rain come down in larger droplets, he thought he could hear his heart
beating and the rest of the world went dead silent.
A strong gust of wind whistled and howled in his ear.
He felt compelled to look up at that same moment.
It was probably only for a second, maybe two. But to Sendoh, the moment was frozen in time.
It seemed that everything was happening in slow motion and Sendoh felt like he was watching
a terrible scene unfolding before his eyes but yet could not do anything to stop it other than
stare unblinking at it.
The rain started to come down in sheets drenching Sendoh. Water was everywhere, on his hair,
on his clothes, in his eyes, ears, mouth, nose… he couldn’t breathe.
It was beneath his feet and the water was red.
Something splattered on his cheek. He reached up and touched it. When he looked at his
fingertips, he saw that it was red.
Someone was whispering into his ear, telling him urgently “don’t look! Don’t look!” Sendoh
ignored the pleas in his head. He had to look. He doesn’t know why but his head just turned to
his right slightly without his command and his eyes rolled downwards.
Bile rushed up his throat, into his mouth and he knelt down to retch.
He continue to kneel down, his eyes all dazed and he didn’t seem to notice that he was all
drenched, that he was shivering.
/Koshino falling, falling, falling…Fallen/
“Hiroaki!”
The moon’s weak rays shone through the thick downpour and reveal a solitary kneeling figure
rocking back and forth as he sobbed wildly in the rain, soaking wet and totally drenched.
Drenched by the rain of blood…
___________________________
Go » Part Thirteen (A) | Even Forever Must Come to an End...I Think - Together in a...
Back » Part Twelve (D) | Shattered - Never Again
=====
Go
MAY JUN JUL
2007 2008 2009
1 capture
17 Jun 2008
About this capture
Part Thirteen (A): Even Forever Must Come to an End... I Think - Together in a Different Sense
by Sakura
Maki gripped the sides of the Tatami he was sitting on so hard, his knuckles turned white. He
closed his eyes and tried to recall what Kiyota’s father had looked like that day he came to pick
him up to go home.
/What my father looks like…/
He heard the waitress greeting somebody “Irrashaimase!” and he knew that they were here.
/Nobunaga’s father… I mean… my father… and Nobunaga/
The door slide opened revealing the stocky figure of Kiyota Yuichiro and his slimmer son.
Maki stood up slowly and found himself on eye level with his father. For a long moment, both
men just stood and stare at each other, into each other. It was as if silent communication was
taking place between them. Abruptly, Maki broke the eye contact and bowed. The word
“otousan” was already on the tip of his tongue but he forced the word back. He didn’t want to
acknowledge him as yet. Not until he was acknowledged as his son first.
Maki turned to look at Kiyota next. He looked directly into his eyes, forcing him to stare right
back as well. And when he saw the look in Kiyota’s eyes, he almost wished he hadn’t met them.
The raw sadness was all reflected in those brown orbs of his and Maki felt something tugging at
his heartstrings. But there was something else that made him feel even worst. It was the
resignation, as if he had given up all hope that they could still be together…
All feeling awkward for different reasons, they sat down.
Giving in to the tension, Kiyota tried to pour tea for all of them but ended up upsetting the pot.
When the hot tea splashed on his bare wrist, he winced and before anyone got react, Maki
immediately pressed a cool towel on his scalded wrist and with real urgency and worry in his
voice and eyes, asked Kiyota, “Nobunaga! Are you alright?”
“Why are you always so clumsy?” his father reprimanded.
Kiyota had a downcast look on his face. “I am sorry, otousan.”
“It’s not like he did it on purpose.” Maki said sharply, he lifted the towel up and examined the
red spot closely. He blew on it gently. “Is it better now? Luckily the water wasn’t very hot…”
He would have continued fussing over Kiyota if he hadn’t squirmed in his seat and tried to
extract his hand from Maki’s grasp.
Maki looked up and when he realized that Kiyota’s father was looking at him in a very strange
way, he immediately released Kiyota’s hand.
/How could I have forgotten? Nobunaga is my… brother now. Do real brothers behave like this?
I wouldn’t know… it’s not like I ever had a brother before… or a family before…/
“Burns… burns can be quite serious, so we should be careful…” Maki explained rather feebly,
his voice trailing away when Kiyota’s father continued regarding him strangely.
He felt stripped, as if his feelings, his amorous and not exactly brotherly feelings for Kiyota were
written all over his face and spelled out in his actions.
After a while, the older Kiyota broke the silence. “How is your mother?” he asked Maki.
Maki nodded respectfully, “She is fine, very healthy and happy.” He replied, “She is… seeing
someone else now. A guy from her firm, a colleague.” He added.
Without a twinge of jealously, Kiyota Yuichiro said, “that’s good.”
They paused in their conversation while the waitress set down a large plat of assorted sushi in
the middle of the table. When she left, another heavy silence ensued.
Kiyota Yuichiro once again broke the ice, “I have no interest in… making up with her. I loved
Nobunaga’s mother a lot. I still do.”
Kiyota looked up from his plate in surprise. He didn’t expect his father to reveal so much about
himself, and neither had he ever heard him use the word “love” before.
“But I want to get to know you.” He continued, “Maybe it’s a little too late now to be your
father, but I want to spend some time with you, spend some time with the son I never knew.”
Maki looked at his father, speechless.
Kiyota Yuichiro placed a sushi on Maki’s plate. “Don’t you want a family too?”
Maki felt a lump in his throat. He swallowed hard before replying, “Yes… I do.”
Kiyota Yuichiro placed another sushi on Nobunaga’s plate. “We are your family now. Nobunaga
and I.”
Neither Maki nor Kiyota said anything and neither raised their chopsticks to touch the given
sushi.
“eat.” Was the stern command.
Instantly, Maki and Kiyota both popped the sushi into their mouths.
“I think…” Maki began after swallowing his food, “I think I shall like that very much.”
“Me too.” Kiyota added in a small voice. His eyes now told a different emotion. They are still
shining with tears, but Maki could no longer see any resignation. Instead, there was a new light
replacing it, /A new light that promised… possibilities/
They exchanged a smile that conveyed several meanings and said a thousand words. Even
though they could never resume the relationship they used to have, but they have a new
relationship now. They are still together, though in a different way, yet…
/I have a father now. I have a brother now. I have a… family. I am no longer alone. - Maki/
/This way… we shall always be together… - Kiyota/
It’s a different kind of happiness.
/And maybe… just maybe… - Maki/
/As long as we are together, anything is possible... - Kiyota/
___________________________
Go » Part Thirteen (B) | Even Forever Must Come to an End... I Think - Letting Go
Back » Part Twelve (E) | Shattered - Rain of Blood
=====
Go
MAY JUN JUL

2007 2008 2009
1 capture
17 Jun 2008
About this capture
Part Thirteen (B): Even Forever Must Come to an End... I Think - Letting Go
by Sakura
Hanagata set down his carry on luggage on the floor and looked at his family members who had
came to see him off. He smiled bravely and hugged his tearing mother, “aw come on, Okasan… I
will be ok.”
His father nodded sternly and gave him a gruff pat on the shoulder. “Call back whenever you
can.”
His younger sister gave an excited squeal and beamed at Hanagata. “You must buy me a lot of
presents, onichan!”
Hanagata pulled her ponytail affectionately, “of course and you must be good and do well in
your exams so otousan and okasan will let you come to visit me during your vacation ok?”
“Well, if they don’t let me, then I will go beg Kenji-nichan to bring me there then!” his sister
replied glibly.
Hanagata’s older sister gave a sharp look to her, she had warned her earlier not to bring up
Fujima but kids usually have a short term memory.
“Why isn’t Kenji here?” she asked innocently, earning another glare from the older sister and
this time even from the parents as well. All of them were trying to avoid touching on Fujima
knowing that Hanagata was still hurting from their breakup, but luckily Hanagata simply smiled
a little sadly and shrugged.
“I don’t know… maybe he is busy and couldn’t come.” He said wistfully, his eyes traveling to the
entrance, still harboring the hope that Fujima will walk through that door anytime now.
After the heated argument that morning, Hanagata and Fujima had another talk a few days
later and although it was hard for both them to come to the decision but in the end both had to
admit that it was the only practical thing to do. To tie each other down in a long distance
relationship that can only be realized after eight long years was too selfish an act and Hanagata
couldn’t bring himself to request for Fujima to wait for him. Besides, who is to say that their
feelings won’t fade after such a long time apart? And even if it doesn’t fade, there will definitely
be a lot of resentment and bitterness that it should be near impossible to be happy together
then.
/flashback/
“Let’s break up, Toru.”
“Kenji!”
“No, I mean it. It not because I am angry with you and want to make you feel guilty… I am not
trying to manipulate you or to affect your decision. But… I just think that it won’t be fair to
neither of us if we keep this going on.”
“Kenji…”
“Besides, didn’t somebody say this? If you really love him, then let him go… or something like
that. I don’t want to spout all the clichés but really, I find them applying to me. You know, love
is about sacrificing… if you are happy then I shall be happy too… and the most famous one, love
is not about forever… it’s about the moment.”
/end flashback/
“Last call for passengers boarding on flight JL 424k.” the announcer said over the loud speaker.
Hanagata picked up his bag and prepare to bid his family the last farewell. “Goodbye-” he
paused mid-sentence.
/Is it my imagination or is that…/
“Kenji!” he half shouted and ran over. For a moment, they just stood there, centimeters apart
and simply stared at each other.
Then Hanagata reached over to circle Fujima’s waist and at that same time, Fujima threw his
arms around Hanagata’s neck. For a long time, they remained in the same position, just hugging
each other, feeling the familiar presence of each other for the last time.
“I repeat, last call for passengers boarding flight JL 424k at gate 44b…”
They released each other.
“ganbatte.” Fujima told him and after thinking for a while, as if searching for the right word to
say, he said, “Goodbye.”
A meaningful silence passed between the both of them and then with one last wave of
goodbye, Hanagata walked away.
Fujima turned to leave at the same moment that Hanagata passed through the gates. Even
though it still hurts him to think that the three year long relationship he shared with Hanagata
had became merely memories, but he had made up his mind to put the past behind him and
look towards the future.
And deep down, buried in his heart, there still lay the hope that maybe… /Just maybe… one day
eight years down the road, Toru and I may walk past each other on the streets and fall in love
with each other once again./
Even though it was only a glimmer of hope, a small chance of that happening, the possibility of
it put a small smile on Fujima’s face and gave him the strength of walk out of the airport
without even turning back once.
When he was on the plane, Hanagata looked out of the window to catch the last glimpse of the
familiar lights of Tokyo, and he smiled to himself as he remembered the feeling of Fujima in his
arms just now. He could almost smell his familiar scent now. He allowed himself one last tear
for the way they had turned out and reminiscence for the last time...
/Love is not about forever… it’s about the moment./
He wiped away the stray tear and smiled a braver smile. /No more looking back, what lies
ahead now is a future no one knows… and filled, with a million possibilities/
/And who knows? A possibility that I may fall in love with Kenji again ten years later…/
___________________________
Go » Part Thirteen (C) | Even Forever Must Come to an End...I Think - Will You Wait For Me?
Back » Part Thirteen (A) | Even Forever Must Come to an End...I Think - Together in a...
========
Go
MAY JUN JUL
2007 2008 2009
1 capture
17 Jun 2008
About this capture
Part Thirteen (C): Even Forever Must Come to an End... I Think - Will You Wait For Me?
by Sakura
Kogure placed the empty vase under the sink and filled a quarter of it. Humming along to the
song playing on the radio, he arranged the bouquet of flowers he brought in it.
The young and pretty nurse who was making the rounds with the doctor smiled at Kogure and
remarked rather flirtatiously, “you are really good at arranging flowers.”
Kogure blushed a little and smiled back sheepishly, “my mother owns a flower shop.”
After they left Mitsui’s room to go to the next one, Mitsui howled with laughter and nudged
Kogure, “man, I wouldn’t have guessed that you are this popular with girls! But she is not bad,
isn’t it? Really pretty, sweet smile and the most important of all,” Mitsui paused for drama, “a
great body!”
Kogure smiled weakly.
“I love when she wears this particular uniform, its kinda fitting and when she bends over, it
stretches over her body…” Mitsui whistled, “Its enough to make anyone’s temperature go way
up!”
Kogure continue to smile indulgently, but this time he had to look away under the pretence of
fussing with the curtains so that Mitsui won’t see the crestfallen look on his face.
The doctor had told Kogure that as Mitsui has suffered a huge blow to his head, he has lost all
his past memories; basically, he cannot even recognize his parents or remember how his room
looks like. He has totally forgotten about his relationship with Kogure as well. When Kogure
heard the news, he was crushed. A part of him wanted to bring out all his photos and let him
read his own diary, he was willing to do anything to jolt the memory of Mitsui, to make him
remember how much he used to love Kogure. But then, the doctor had also warned that they
should not try to force him to remember, instead to allow him to recover naturally on his own.
Besides, whenever Mitsui tries to remember, he ends up getting a severe headache and starts
to feel dejected and guilty.
/As long as he is alive and well… as long as he is safe and happy, nothing else matters./
“Yo, Kogure. Do you have a girlfriend?” Mitsui asked.

Kogure spun around immediately, his face frozen in an expression of shock, horror and sadness.
Mitsui saw the look on his face and misunderstanding the situation, started to apologize, “I am
sorry. I gather we must be like best friends or something since you have been with me ever
since I got admitted into the hospital… but now I can’t even remember anything about you. I
am really sorry.”
Kogure sighed and shook his head, “no… don’t say that. You just concentrate on getting well
and as for remembering the past…”
“Just let nature takes its course right?” Mitsui quipped. “I know I know… the doctors all say
that. But you can’t imagine the frustration I feel sometimes…”
Kogure nodded understandingly, he went over to Mitsui and nearly reached out to hold his
hand to comfort him but stopped himself just in time, he patted his shoulder instead.
Mitsui sat up straight suddenly, “tell me, Kogure. Tell me about me. Tell me about you. Tell me
about us.”
Kogure hesitated. /Us… how do I tell him?/ He looked into Mitsui’s serious eyes, and all of a
sudden, a wave of emotions washed over him, and just the act of not leaning over to kiss him
was taking a lot of willpower from him.
“What do you want to know?” he asked.
“Like… was I well liked in the basketball team? Do I have fans?”

Kogure laughed softly. “Of course. Everyone on the team likes you a lot. The seniors think you
are a valuable asset, your peers are always looking for some friendly competition with you and
the juniors respected you a lot. As for fans…” Kogure paused for a while, “you had lots… many
girls.”
/And me… I was your biggest fan/
Mitsui cheered, “I always knew I am popular with girls!” he laughed, “what about you?”
“What do you mean?” Kogure asked, “What do you want to know?”
Mitsui did not answer for a moment, he silently assessed Kogure from head to toe. There’s
something about him… /His soft brown hair, those beautiful gentle brown eyes he keeps hidden
behind his spectacles…/ he focused on the hand that was still on his shoulder and absent
mindedly picked it up.
When he lifted it up from his shoulder and held it between his own two large hands, Kogure
tensed. Mitsui looked up in surprise. He didn’t mean to do it, but for some reason, when he saw
the long fingers, he just had this urge to hold it. And when he did, something seemed to click,
and the action felt so right, so natural. /And so familiar…/
Still holding it, he asked Kogure in a softer tone, his eyes looking into Kogure’s, “you must be
someone very special to me. Very important…” he squeezed Kogure’s hand, “who are you to
me?”
Kogure’s breath caught in his throat, /This is it… I could just tell him now… tell him we are a
couple… we were madly in love with each other… we have been together since high school… I
can tell him I love him now./
“I am your…”
/But what good will it does to Hisashi? It will just make him shocked that he is actually… not like
other normal boys… then he will feel guilty for having forgotten about me… and then he will
feel compelled to resume our relationship even if he had stop feeling for me, he will still
continue because he feels responsible…/
/Is that what I really want for him, for me, for us?/
“I am your best friend, Hisashi. We have been best friends since high school.”
/No… I want him to tell me he loves me…/
Mitsui nodded, “that makes sense… I am so sorry, Kogure… no wait, it should be Kiminobu
right? Well, I shall try to remember our friendship and…”
“Don’t worry about it, Hisashi. I can wait. I will wait until you remember everything. So you take
your time…”
/I know, I have faith… that one day you will be able to remember everything and then… you will
tell me you love me, and we can be together again./
/So I will wait…/
/For as long as it takes… I will wait./
___________________________
Go » Part Thirteen (D) | Even Forever Must Come to an End... I Think - An End to the...
Back » Part Thirteen (B) | Even Forever Must Come to an End...I Think - Letting Go
============
Go
MAY JUN JUL
2007 2008 2009
1 capture
17 Jun 2008
About this capture
Part Thirteen (D): Even Forever Must Come to an End... I Think - An End to the Destructive
Obsession
by Sakura
Rukawa lifted the ball high above his head and aimed it in the direction of the hoop. As he
threw it out, as he watched the ball make a smooth orange arch against the backdrop of the
darkening blue sky, even before the ball could start falling, he already knew it would fall neatly
into the basket.
And true enough, a split second later, it swished into the net without even touching the rim.
/Too bad I can’t be this sure about other matters in life…/
He bent over to pick the ball up and shoved it into his duffel bag. The wind was getting stronger,
a clear sign that it is going to rain.
/Again./
Truth to be told, he was getting quite weary of rain. He sighed and hurriedly got onto his
bicycle. It has been quite a long while since he talked to Sendoh, he hasn’t even seen him
around since he is still mourning Koshino’s death. At the funeral, they had exchanged a few
words, but none that Rukawa really wanted to say.
/But what do I want to tell him anyway?/
As he pedaled back to the hostel, the raindrops began to fall, gently at first then more
insistently. Rukawa stopped abruptly, earning a few curses from the pedestrians behind him
who nearly walked into his bicycle. He suddenly had an irrational want to go to the dock. And it
is irrational, considering how it holds such painful memories but Rukawa simply wanted to go
there and get a refreshing spray of the rain. He would probably get sick again, like he did after
that last time he stood out in the rain the whole night, but he didn’t think about that. /I don’t to
think anymore… I must have thought enough for a lifetime this past few days, weeks… I just
want to feel now./ Without thinking further, he cycled to the dock.
By the time he reached there, he was already soaking wet. The rain seemed like an endless
pour from the skies and Rukawa shivered a little. But already, he felt much better than he had
been the last few weeks. Was it only a while ago when he thought he was weary of rain? Now
he found it beautiful, just as he had thought it was when Sendoh had first shown him the
beauty and wildness of it.
/That seemed like such a long time ago… but come to think of it, it’s been only half a year. Six
months… its only two words, but to live it… is a long time/
/But not long enough, no, not nearly long enough/
“Beautiful night isn’t it?”
Rukawa stopped in his tracks. Ahead of him, standing so absolutely motionless in the mist that
Rukawa almost did not see him was Sendoh Akira.
Rukawa stood his ground, not wanting to go any nearer. Even at such a distance away, the mere
presence of Sendoh was already enough to make Rukawa breathe slightly faster. Despite the
painful breakup, Sendoh still had the power to affect him this much. Rukawa was glad he left his
bag with his bicycle at the car park, with his free hand, he could put it on his chest, because all
of a sudden, when he saw Sendoh’s eyes which were still haunted by grieve, and his heart gave
a dull ache.
“Come stand here. View’s better.” Sendoh told him, “you like the sea spray, don’t you?”
“It’s raining again…” Rukawa started, only half conscious of the words spilling out of his mouth,
“it’s raining again, and I would walk to you… if I could trust my feet.”
Sendoh turned his full attention to Rukawa and smiled sadly.
“So it has come to that, huh?” he said softly, “I guess… even forever must come to an end… I
think.”
Rukawa looked away and focused on the crashing waves. He couldn’t bear to look into
Sendoh’s haunting eyes.
“Time passes, things change… feelings fade.” Sendoh said wistfully.
“Things change…” Rukawa blurted out, “but then again, some things don’t.”
Sendoh regarded him seriously, “does this mean…”
“No. it doesn’t.”
The curt reply stung Sendoh more than it let on and he laughed softly, bitterly to himself. /What
right do I have, what right do I have to ask for reconciliation with Kaede? When I had so cruelly
rejected him before, when I had broke the heart he entrusted to no one but me?/
“Do you know?” Rukawa asked almost rhetorically, “do you know that the detachment I know
at some times will be as cold as the ice in the north, but at other times, feelings will enflame
me, carry me to waves of burning sea.”
Sendoh frowned, he didn’t really know what Rukawa meant.
“And isn’t this strange? Although we are beneath freezing rain now, but very strangely… I feel
like I am on fire.”
Sendoh held his breath, he didn’t dare to interrupt, and didn’t dare to think, but he couldn’t
suppress the hope rising within him.
“Have I ever told you I love you? I’d never. And I am not going to now. But maybe… maybe I
will… sometime in the future, maybe I really will.”
“Can I ask why?”
“Because I am not sure if what I felt, feel, is really love. I thought when you love someone, you
will be really… happy. It will enrich your life, it will make living even more meaningful, it will
make you love life. But I… that night, at this place… it was only for a while, but there shouldn’t
even be a second! It was only for a short while, but I really felt like… death could be a better
option.”
Something trickled down Sendoh’s cheek, and he knew it wasn’t just the rain.
“I want to love. But I know what I was feeling wasn’t it. Not if it made me want to die for it, it
mustn’t. It can only be called an obsession. A destructive force. A destructive obsession. But not
love.”
Rukawa paused. He never knew he could say so much at one go. This was probably the first
time he ever said so many words at one time. Btu somehow, it all felt very spontaneous, very
natural, as if the words just tumbled out of his thoughts.
“But I want to love. But before that, I have to go away on my own, I have to go and learn how
to love myself and love life, all life and not just mine, more. Only then can I speak of loving
other people and having been loved by other people. Only then can I even feel love.”
Sendoh nodded. He was too choked up to say anything.
“This may be very selfish. But when I am ready… will you be there? Because if I ever love
somebody, I want that person to be you. Only you. Forever you.”
Sendoh resisted the urge to run to Rukawa and take him into his arms, instead he clench his fist
and said quietly, “nothing you say or do will cause the death of my love for you.”
Rukawa half smiled and turned as if to leave but he didn’t move. “I want to know… was it
always only me?”
Through the rain, Sendoh could see his thin shoulders tremble slightly and knew that he
couldn’t bring himself to ask that question facing him and hence had to turn away.
“Yes. Always and only you.”
Without another word, Rukawa left the dock leaving Sendoh standing alone in the rain.
Sendoh sniffed a little and wiped his nose on his sleeve. He threw out his arms and shouted,
“Ahh….”
For a few minutes, he just stood out there, not caring that he was wet and shivering, but simply
shouting as if competing with the rain.
Then he exhaled slowly and smiled, his eyes gaining back the light it used to have. “Yosh. Now
its time to go back, there’s still basketball training tomorrow. It’s been so long since I last
attended, Maki and Akagi must be hopping mad…”
Whistling to a cheery tune, he strolled out of the dock and walked back to his dorm.
This may be an end to the “destructive obsession” they had shared, but somehow to Sendoh,
there can be no better ending.
/Because only when the obsession ends, can true love begins…/
The End
___________________________
Back » Part Thirteen (C) | Even Forever Must Come to an End... I Think - Will You Wait...

Destructive Obsession

Uploaded by

Document Information

Original Description:

Copyright

Available Formats

Share this document

Share or Embed Document

Sharing Options

Did you find this document useful?

Is this content inappropriate?

Copyright:

Available Formats

Destructive Obsession

Uploaded by

Copyright:

Available Formats

http://www.senrusen.net:80/fics/s/do/1.

MAY JUN JUL

Previous capture 17 Next capture

2007 2008 2009

17 Jun 2008 - 2 Jul 2008

About this capture

Part One: A Dangerous Freshman

Sendoh blinked, "why should I be worried?" he asked.

"Because. Rukawa. Hates. You." Miyagi pronounced every word carefully.

"Sakuragi!" they chorused.

"Sendoh Akira." he pronounced coldly.

"Oh? What is that then?"

"To win you in basketball so I can be the best."

Sendoh smiled, "you are still as competitive as ever, Rukawa-kun."

"I won't lose to you again."

"Since when did you ever lose to me?"

Go » Side Story One | A Dangerous Freshman

Go » Part Two | Immovable

Back » Prologue | Hurt Imprint

Go » Index | A Destructive Obsession

MAY JUN JUL

Previous capture 17 Next capture

2007 2008 2009

About this capture

Side Story One: A Dangerous Freshman

“What tiring work, even before practice…” he grumbled.

“Maki! I am no longer a kid!” He complained, trying to tidy up his mussed hair.

/What a troublesome guy./

/What a dangerous freshman./

/And it’s not just because of his amazing improvement in basketball./

/He seemed to have improved in other… areas as well./

/What a dangerous freshman./

Back » Part One | A Dangerous Freshman

Go » Index | A Destructive Obsession

MAY JUN JUL

Previous capture 17 Next capture

2007 2008 2009

About this capture

Part Two: Immovable

And so the intense one on one game began.

Sendoh waited patiently for him to continue.

Sendoh fell silent.

Rukawa ignored the mop and willed Sendoh to look at him.

“I heard.” Sendoh told him, “You hate me.” He deadpanned.

Rukawa looked at Sendoh in disbelief.

Rukawa sighed in defeat and they cleaned up in silence.

/Once again, I am the loser. Always the loser…/

Go » Side Story Two | Immovable

Go » Part Three | Because I Want To

Back » Part One | A Dangerous Freshman

Go » Index | A Destructive Obsession

MAY JUN JUL

Previous capture 17 Next capture

2007 2008 2009

About this capture

Side Story Two: Immovable

He knocked on the door gently, “Toru? Are you awake yet?”

There was no answer.

“Where were you just now?”

“Oh I was mentoring my new pupil, that’s her: Fuuko-chan.”

“What!” Fujima cried, aghast.

She kept quiet and appealed to Hanagata for help.

Hanagata brows were knotted. “Huh?”