The Best of Manners

ʿĀmir Bahjat al-Hanbali

Fahd al-Hanbali

ʿAbdul Rahmān al-Dāyel

Zad Center
 
Foreword - ‫مقدمة‬
All praise is due to Allāh, The All-Mighty, All-Merciful and may the
peace and blessings be upon His final Messenger, Moḥammad  , his family,
and his Companions .

The topic of good manners (Akhlāq) has had a profound presence in

the Islamic scholarly tradition, for having good manners is what befits the
believer, and it is that which Allāh has constituted in His divine guidance,
He  says: ُ َّ ُ َ َ َ َ َّ
ۡ ﴾ ۡ‫ّللِۡأس َوۡةۡ َح َس َنة‬
ۡ ‫فۡ َر ُسو ِۡلۡۡٱ‬
ۡ ِ ۡۡ‫نۡلكم‬ۡ ‫﴿ لق ۡدَۡك‬
«Indeed, in the Messenger of Allah you have an excellent example»1

And this topic is of paramount importance for the Student of

Knowledge, for it is a prerequisite to knowledge, and to any noble endeavor.

Mālik bin Anas  advised a boy from Quraysh to learn manners before
learning knowledge.2 In today’s decadent world, good manners are almost a
thing of the past, and it is only those whom Allāh has bestowed His mercy
upon that observe these manners.

Before you is a great contemporary poem written by the renowned

Sh.ʿĀmir Bahjat , which succinctly lays out the manners that are to be
observed. That, and an astounding English translation done by our beloved
brother Fahd al-Ḥanbali with beneficial footnotes that elucidate the poem
and make its meanings palatable for the Student of Knowledge.

May Allāh reward those who participated in this blessed work and
may Allāh benefit the Students of Knowledge and grant them the highest
ranks of that which they seek.

,,,
Written by:
ʿAbdul Raḥmān Al-Dāyel
of Zād Center
20-02-2020
19-07-1443 H.

1 Chapter 33 (Sūrah al-Aḥzāb), Verse 21. Translation taken from The Clear Quran, by Dr. Mustafa Khattab.
2 See Ḥilyah al‑Awliyāʾ, volume 6, page 330.

1
 The Best of Manners


َ ‫َ َ ُ ْ ُ َ َّ نَ أ‬ َ ‫َأ‬ َّ ُ َ ْ
‫ي اْل َد َبا‬ ‫ِعباده المقر ِب‬ ‫هلل ال ِذي قد َوه َبا‬
ِ ‫الح أمد‬ ١

1 - All praise is due to Allāh, who has bestowed etiquettes upon His
3

close servants.
,,,
ُ ُ ْ َ َ ‫ى‬ ْ َ َ َّ ُ َ َّ َّ ُ
‫َعَل ن ِب ِّينا َع ِظ ِيم الخل ِق‬ ‫السَل ِم تل َت ِ ِق‬‫ثم الصَلة ِب‬ ٢

2 - Then may peace and blessings gather upon our Prophet of great
manners.
,,,
ْ َ َ ‫ََأ ُ َ َ ىأ َ َ أَأ‬
‫َي أرق ِب َها َص ِاح ُب َها ال َم َرا ِ ِق‬ ‫ هاك أحسن اْلخَل ِق‬:‫وبعد‬ ٣

3 - As for what follows: here are “The Best of Manners”! by which the 4

one who possesses them, rises through the ranks [of piety].
, ,,
‫أ‬ َ
‫ َو ِب ِف أع ِل َما َو َج أب‬،‫ِب أت ِك ِاِلث ِم‬
ََ‫أ‬
‫هللا اْلد أب‬ َ ‫ َراع َم‬:‫َف ىأ َّو اًل‬
ِ ‫ع‬ ِ ٤

4 - First: Observe [good] etiquettes with Allāh; by forsaking sin and

fulfilling what is obligatory.
,,,

3 In order to praise Allāh one must mention or utter the perfect attributes and praiseworthy actions of the praised one
(Allāh), with absolute love and glorification towards Him.
It includes two aspects:
1 - To speak of His praiseworthy actions and perfect attributes.
2 - To thereby love Him (due to these attributes and praiseworthy actions), for one does not truly praise another by
merely mentioning praiseworthy qualities without loving Him and vice-versa.
4 Manners refer to one’s disposition and what comes from within, like shyness, poise, forbearance, and meekness. And one

can be naturally well-mannered or can feign good manners until they attain them.

2
 َ َ َ ‫َ َ أ‬ ‫ََأ‬ ُّ َ ‫ى‬
‫اف ن َجا‬ ُ
ٍ ‫ وتو ِح‬،‫ح ٍّب‬
‫ ومن خ‬،‫يد‬ ‫ َر َجا‬،‫ َوت َوك ٍل‬،‫َو ُح أس ِن ظ ٍّن‬

5 - And by having good faith in Him, trusting and relying on Him, having
hope in Him, loving Him, believing He is one, and whoever fears [Him] 5

will be safe.
,,,

‫أ‬ ْ ُ ‫ى‬ ِّ َ ‫َّ أ‬ ِّ ُ َ ِّ

‫قد أم َعَل ك ِّل ال َو َرى َم َح َّب َته‬ ‫ َو َعظ أم ُسن َته‬،‫َوق أر ن ِب َّيه‬

6 - Revere His Prophet, glorify his Sunnah, and place your love for him
before all others.
,,,
‫ى‬ ْ َ َ
‫الر ِح َما‬ َّ َ‫ َو ِص أل أ َيا ُب ن‬،‫َت ُف أز‬
َّ ‫ن‬ ‫ َول ُت ِط أع ُه َما‬،‫َو َب َّر َو ِالد أيك‬
ِ

7 - Be dutiful to your parents and obey them, you will succeed. And O 6

son, maintain ties with your kinfolk! 7

,,,

5 Tawḥīd is the slave’s recognition, understanding, and belief in the Oneness of the Lord in every attribute of perfection
and that He is unique in such. Additionally, the belief that He has no partners or associates, and nothing is similar to His
perfection. Further, that He is divine and deserving of worship over all His creation, along with the sole devotion of all
worship being for Him alone.
Thus, this definition encompasses the three types of Tawḥīd:
1 - The Oneness of Divine Lordship, which is: to acknowledge the Oneness of The Lord in creation, granting provision,
management of affairs, and control.
2 - The Oneness of Worship and Divinity, which is: to devote all types and instances of worship to only Allāh, and Allāh
alone, without directing or orienting to anyone else.
3 - The Oneness of Allāh in His Names and Attributes, which is: to affirm everything that Allāh has affirmed and ascribed
to Himself, and anything His Prophet Muhammed ‫ ﷺ‬has affirmed and ascribed to Him, from the best of names to the
attributes they imply, without anthropomorphism, distortion, or denial.
6 It is compulsory to obey one’s parents, which is to be dutiful towards them, good to them, and do what cheers them up,

as long as it’s not in the disobedience of Allāh, even if they are wicked or disbelievers.
Although, it is not compulsory to obey them with regards to marriage and divorce.
7 Four matters are obligatory in maintaining ties with kinfolk:

1 - To not boycott them in speech and to be the one to initiate Salām.

2 - To not harm them in any form (verbally or physically).
3 - To provide for them if they are in need, as provision for kinfolk is obligatory according to the Ḥanbali madhab.
4 - To supplicate for them behind their backs, especially at times when they are in a critical situation; supplication for
them might even be obligatory.
From the benefits of maintaining ties with kinfolk is the prolongation of one’s lifespan and abundance in one’s provisions.

3
 The Best of Manners

َْ َّ ‫َو َساعد‬
َ ‫الضع‬ ‫ أ‬،‫َب ِّج أل ىكب ًتا‬
َّ ‫وار َحم‬
‫ والف ِق َتا‬،‫يف‬ ِ ِ ِ ‫الص ِغ َتا‬ ِ ِ ٨

8 - Respect the elder and show mercy to the young. Aid the feeble and
destitute.
,,,

‫يما‬
َ ً َ َ
َ ‫ َح ِل‬،‫وف ِط ًنا‬ ،‫وش ِاكرا‬ َ ‫ ىكر‬،‫ ًصاب ًرا‬،‫اعا‬
‫يما‬ ً ‫َو ُك أن ُش َج‬
٩
ِ ِ

9 - Be brave [upon truth), patient, generous, grateful, astute, and

forbearing.
,,,

ُ ‫ُ ُ أ ى ً َََ َ أ َ أ‬ ُ َ‫َ ى‬
‫اصد ِق‬ ‫ و‬،‫ وتواضع‬،‫وكن أ ِمينا‬ ‫ َو أارف ِق‬،‫ َو َح َي ٍاء‬،‫َوذا أن ٍاة‬ ١٠

10 - Be comprising of equanimity, shyness and be gentle. Be trustworthy, 8

humble, and honest.

,,,

َ‫َ َْ أ َ َْ َ َ أ أ‬ َ ‫ َوب أاْل أح‬،‫َت َح َّل ب ْال َع أدل‬

‫ان‬
ِ ‫ و ِاْلت‬،‫ والوف ِاء‬،‫والعف ِو‬
‫ق‬ ‫ان‬
ِ ‫س‬ ِ ِ ِ ِ ١١

11 - Adorn yourself [with the qualities of] justice, kindness, pardoning,

loyalty, and proficiency.
,,,

َ‫ ُك أن َناصحا‬،‫ىأح َّب ُك َّل ُم أسلم‬ ْ َ َ ِّ

‫ َو أاحف ِظ ال َج َو ِار َحا‬،‫ُص ِن الل َسان‬ ١٢
ِ ٍِ ِ

12 - Guard the tongue and protect the limbs [from wrongdoing]. Love 9

every Muslim [and] be an admonisher.

,,,

8 Ḥayāʾ – Pious shyness from committing religious indiscretions.

9 The limbs that are to be protected are: the eyes, ears, belly, hands, legs, and the private parts.

4
 َ َّ ‫ً ى‬ ُ َ ِّ َ َ ‫ُّ أ‬ ََ
‫الصَل ِة‬ ‫ُوك أن ُم َح ِافظا َعَل‬ ِ ‫تق َّب ِل النصح ِمن الثق‬
‫ات‬ ١

13 - Accept advice from the trustworthy and be observant of prayer.

,,,

َّ ‫اح َف ْظ ُه َعن‬
‫الض َي ِاع‬ َ ‫َو ْال َم‬
‫ال َف أ‬ َ ‫أ َ أ َُْ أ‬
‫َو َوق َتك اشغله ِباِِلن ِتف ِاع‬ ١
ِ

14 - Occupy your time with benefit and protect your money from
wastefulness.
,,,

َ ََ ُ ْ َ ْ َّ َ
‫َو َط ِال ِع الك أت َب تن أل َم ِزيدا‬ ‫ِب ِه َّم ٍة ت َعل ِم ال ُم ِفيدا‬ ١

15 - Eagerly learn that which is beneficial, and [constantly] browse

through books; you will gain more [knowledge].
,,,

َ‫َو ىأ ْكر َم َّن َما أاس َت َط أع َت ْال ُع ىلما‬ ِّ ْ َ ‫َو أاح َتم ْالك َت‬
‫ َوال ُم َعل َما‬،‫اب‬ ِ ِِ ١
ِ

16 - Respect books and teachers, and surely honour the scholars to the
best of your ability.
,,,

ُّ َ َّ ‫َ َ ِّ أ َ ْ َ َ ن‬ ِّ َ ُ ْ َّ‫ى أ أ َ ى أ َ ن‬
‫وقد ِم اْل ك َت ِ ِق التحد ِث‬ ‫أق ِبل وأن ِصي ِللمحد ِث‬ ١

17 - Approach and listen to the speaker, and give precedence to the

eldest in speech.
,,,

5
 The Best of Manners

ََ َ ‫َ َأ‬
‫َوق أب َل نق ِل خ ََ ٍت تث َّب ِت‬ ‫ب ْال َخ أت َف أانط َق أن َوإ ًَّل َف أ‬
‫اص ُم ِت‬ ١٨
ِ ِ ِ ِ

18 - Utter good or else remain silent! And authenticate news before

10

transmitting it.
,,,
َ ُ َ َ َ َ َ ِّ َ
‫ِإذا ه َم أم َت ث َّم ِاِل أس ِتش َار أه‬ ‫َوقد َم أن َصَلة ِاِل أس ِتخ َاره‬ ١٩

19 - Offer Al-Istikhārah if you’re anxious (or indecisive), and thereafter

11

seek consultation [from others].

,,,

َ ‫أ أ‬ َ ‫َّ أ‬ ‫َ ىأ‬ َ ‫ىأ ْ َ َ ى أ‬

‫وأت ِب ِع الذنب ِب ِاِلس ِتغف ِار‬ ‫وأت ِب ِع الخطأ ِباع ِتذ ِار‬ ٢٠

20 - Follow up a mistake with an apology, and a sin with seeking

forgiveness (Istighfār).
,,,

ُّ ‫ًَل ُت أؤذ إ أن َس ًانا ىأ ُخ‬

َ‫ص ْال َجارا‬ َ‫أ‬
َ‫اْل أخ َيارا‬ َ َ َ َّ
‫ش السَلم ص ِاح ِب‬
‫ىأ‬
٢١
ِ ِ ِ ‫أف‬

21 - Spread the Salām (greetings of peace) and befriend the righteous, 12

do not wrong anyone; especially thy neighbour.

,,,

10 The scholars have mentioned four matters that must be taken into consideration during speech:
1- That it has a purpose, which brings about benefit or quells harm.
2- That it is limited to the amount needed (to achieve the purpose), because speech can go on forever without end.
3- That it is within the appropriate context, so that the aim of the speaker is achieving the intended purpose.
4- That the speaker chooses the expressions most suitable in accord with the circumstance.
11 Al-Istikhārah – is prescribed when someone is hesitant regarding a decision.

It is accomplished by supplicating by the specific invocation of Al-Istikhārah after offering optional prayer.
12 It is disliked to extend Salām (greeting of peace) to females (who are permissible to marry) with the exception of elderly

women and vice-versa.

6
 َ ‫ى َ ِّ َ أ َ ى أ أ‬ َّ ُ َ َ ََ
ِ ‫كغض طر ٍف وك ِاِلس ِتئ‬
‫اس‬‫ن‬ ِ ‫ور ِاع آداب ب ُي‬
‫وت الناس‬ ٢٢

22 - Observe the etiquettes of [visiting] people’s homes; like lowering

your gaze and requesting permission [to enter]. 13

,,,
ْ َّ َ َ ‫ُأ ُ أ ى‬ َ ُ َ ‫َّ أ‬ ْ‫ى‬
‫ص أخاك ِآث َرن ال ُم أس ِل َما‬ ‫ان‬ ‫ف َوك أن ُم أبت ِس َما‬‫َوأ ك ِ ِرم الضي‬ ٢٣

23 - Honour the guest and be cheerful. Support your (Muslim) brother

and give precedence to Muslims over yourself.
,,,

ً َ ُ ِّ ‫َحاف ْظ َع ىَل‬ ً ُ ُ
‫الص َح ِة ك أن ن ِظيفا‬ ِ ‫َع أن ك ِّل َما َي ُس أو ُء ك أن َع ِفيفا‬ ٢٤

24 - Abstain from any evil doings, maintain good health and hygiene.
,,,
ََْ ‫َ ى‬ ْ َ‫َ ْ َى أ‬
َّ ‫اْل أذ ىكار نق‬
‫َو ِ ن ِق ال َم َس ِاء ت أحظ ِبالفَل ِح‬ ‫اح‬
ِ ‫ب‬َ ‫الص‬
ِِ ِ ‫ح ِافظ عَل‬ ٢٥

25 - Observe your Adhkār (supplications) in the morning and evening;

you will attain success.
,,,

َ‫َ أ ى‬ ‫َو َش ِّم َ نأ‬ ‫إ َذا َع َط أس َت َف أ‬

َ ‫اح َم َد َّن‬
‫ي َم أن َح ِمد ِاْلله‬ ‫هللا‬ ِ ٢٦

26 - Praise Allāh if you sneeze, and say the Tashmīt (implore the Mercy
of Allāh) for those who praise Him. 14

,,,

13It is compulsory to seek permission before entering a room except for one’s spouse, as asserted in Al-Iqnāʿ.
14It is disliked for adolescent males and females to say the Tashmīt (implore the Mercy of Allāh) for one another, except
for a female’s maḥārim (those that cannot marry her for a sharʿi reason), if the male is a maḥram, or the elderly.

7
 The Best of Manners

َ َ ْ ‫ُ َأى‬ َ َ ‫َع ىَل ْال َيم ن‬

‫َوك أن ِْلذك ِار ال َمن ِام ذ ِاك َرا‬ ‫اه ًرا ن أم َب ِاك َرا‬
ِ ‫يط‬ ِ ِ ٢٧

27 - Sleep early and on your right [side] in the state of purity, and remain
15

observant of the Adhkār [supplications] of sleep. 16

,,,
َ ْ ‫َ أ‬ ُ ‫ى‬ ‫ِم َّما َيَل ُك أل ب ْال َي ِم ن‬
‫ِ ن ِق أ َّو ٍل ث َّم أاح َمدن ِ ن ِق الخ أت ِم‬ ‫ َس ِّم‬.‫ي‬ِ ِ ِِ ٢٨

28 - Eat that which is nearest to you, with the right (hand); 17 18

ُ ْ
‫ » ِمْسِب ا ه‬and end with « ‫» احلَمد لل‬.
begin with « ‫لل‬ 19

,,,
َ ‫َ أ‬ ْ َ ِّ َ َ َ ِّ َ ‫ى أ َ ُ ُ َ َّ ُ َ ِّ ً َ ى‬
‫م فاق َبَل‬
ِِ ‫ن ِبينا يا رب نظ‬ ‫أحمده – جل – مصليا عَل‬ ٢٩

29 - I praise Allāh -May He be glorified- while sending prayers upon our

Prophet. O Lord, accept my poem! 20

,,,

15 While placing your right palm beneath your right cheek.

16 Before sleeping a person should lock his doors, seal water bottles, cover utensils, and turn off the lights – as narrated in
the Prophetic traditions.
17 That is if you are not eating alone, and the food is of one kind, otherwise you can eat from wherever you wish.
18 It is compulsory to eat with the right hand for it is unseemly of the Muslim to eat as his arch-enemy eats (Shaiṭān/Satan).
19 It is recommended to say it aloud to notify others.
20 Reviewed and corrected by ʿAbdul Raḥmān Al-Dāyel,

May Allāh forgive the translators for their shortcomings and reward their Parents.
Āmīn.