老師對學生揪出寫作三大問題 (Connie)

1.

><

? ?

and ?

In addition " " ?

2. / ≠ (No fancy/big words)

, ,

" , , ",

, ,

, " "
3. /

( ) / ,

, which

If the government does not put this issue into perspective, it may negatively
impact society.

( "it" , " , , , "

?)

Source:
https://grammar.yourdictionary.com/writing/big-words-to-use-for-impressive-
speaking-and-writing.html
 老師對學生揪出寫作三大問題(Sabrina)

1.

Over the past few decades, printed newspapers have been slowly supplanted by
online news sources.

/ :

Over the past few decades, printed newspapers have been slowly supplanted by
online news sources. Instead of reading them, we ignore them, knowing that we
can read it freely online with just a few simple clicks on our smartphone . Unlike
those traditional ways to gain information, electronic sources are readily accessible
and quickly updated. Thus, ......

2.

( ) ( )

3.
 直播講解講義

(1)

People had many ways to connect with others because of the advances in
technology. Everything could advertise their products for sale on the Internet and so
do people show their expression on social media.

It is my personal belief that technology can definitely aid in our communication.

Firstly, young people are usually in a revolt situation, not really want to show their
moods or discuss some of their problems with their parents. So, they often find a
place to take out their emotions, and Internet and social media platforms are the best
choice which is not good at express minds or socialize. Besides, people are always
busy with their school, job, or family. In this booming society, people actually do not
have their own leisure time to relax. And then technology is the most brilliant
invention in the world. It makes us keep in touch with our friends who we cannot
meet often. A simple text message can keep the relationship stronger.

In conclusion, everything has advantages and disadvantages but I believe that

people will not regret for creating such perfect invention.

改成:
We now (現在式) can connect and communicate with others via various ways
because of the advances in technology (不加 the), Company can (現在式) now
advertise their products on the Internet and people can express their feelings and
sentiments via social media.

It is my personal belief that technology is definitely a great aid in our communication

(注意詞性) Firstly, youth ----> there is usually emotional problems of adolescents
such as not wanting to share their feelings and thoughts with their parents.

X take out emotions ----> O cast it out (片語)

The Internet and social media (相同的東西) ----> The online world 就好
The online world becomes a place where teenagers like to share feelings with others
who may face the same or similar situations.
Besides, people “are” always busy “with” studying, job, or family. In such hustle and
bustle, people in fact do not have spare time to have some rest. Therefore,
technology comes in handy, and the Internet helps us keep in touch with our friends
who we may not have much opportunity to hang out with. On top of that, the Internet
also helps bonding in a relationship and it is much likely to keep the relationship
longer.

By way of conclusion, 為了要站得住腳, 不能兩邊討好寫 “everything has advantages

and disadvantages”
-----> O even though one may argue that the technology has negative impacts to
people, I would still argue that the advantages outweigh its disadvantages

!!!!! 科技不是一個 invention (不是發明喔)!!!!!

X create invention O invent something, have invention

1. technology "has" made

2. the world has seen a remarkable development in technology + 句點
3. From my perspective, “such development” is, however, negative when it
comes to communication.
4. Firstly, …………….
 In recent years, an increasing number of college students have been
diagnosed with mental illness, which may be connected with social pressure.
Such a phenomenon not only makes them feel hopeless, but also brings
anxiety to them. *轉承語錯誤 Moreover, it has many forms of reasons that
lead to psychological problems for university students. → By considering the
problem in depth, various factors lead to mental health problems among
university students. *轉承語錯誤 For example, one of the contributing factors
is the escalating cost of living. After graduating from senior high school, a lot
of students don't receive pocket money financial aid from their parents and
start to work part-time at work place. It's difficult to balance between learning
and working.[細節] Another aspect is that their major is incompatible with
→aligns with their interests. [*連貫性問題] Some students may lose interest in
their major and become confused about choosing their job. Sometimes they
even feel desperate about their future career.
(分詞構句要前後主詞相同) Knowing how severe the issue is, it's high time
that we solved addressed this problem. Firstly, I think the government can
provide financial assistance. Although we have had framed / established
some relevant policies about that, it(*it 是啥?不明確)

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不知道各個題型技巧考點和訂正題目嗎?
高密度 8 週直播線上課程
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