Glyde Hope G.

Pajaron Grade 12 - Loyalty

Activity 1
Reflection Paper

Growing up, I feel that my biggest struggle is trying to be good enough for something or
someone. I am raised in a family where everyone I know went extraordinary success in different
fields and that is why I have no choice but to have the constant pressure to also be successful
in life at a young age. The world we live in constantly reminds us that success is the ultimate
goal, it’s what we strive for. The expectation of success can be overwhelming, and many of us
feel the pressures of being successful. If I could give one piece of advice to my self, it would be
that I should learn to love myself because I am enough. Whether it's my parents, my friends, or
just society in general. I always felt that I needed to do things to satisfy others and live up to one
standard or another. Trying to please others and seeking validation from outside sources, would
only lead to self-hatred. If I had just learned to love myself, I wouldn't have kept seeking that
validation that only made me less and less confident in myself.

As a student who will be graduating this year, the words “success” and “failure” are
constantly running through my head. Every day I wake up with anxiety. I wake up with the
realization that my life is reality, I’m here truly living it. This anxiety comes from the pressures of
being successful and what my future looks like. I believe this feeling has been building up in me
for years. The moment that I gained the title of being an honor student during my younger years
began it all. When I was first labeled this as a child, it gave me some sort of pride. I didn’t feel
better than everyone else, but I felt better about myself. I felt somewhat important. It was a
compliment to me. I was motivated to keep that title. That meant I would have to work extra hard
and keep my grades up. It set the standard for my performance in school. I wanted to do well
regardless, but it brought me to another light. I wanted to stay the “smart kid” and I wanted to be
special. Over time, I was an achiever. I earned all high test scores and other academic
accomplishments. And now that I've realized my worth and potential, the pressure finally
loosens up and I can now breathe freely.

It is reasonable for anyone to want their ideas, choices, achievements, or opinions validated
by those around them. After all, this is the first thing we do as children when we accomplish
something, we look for validation to our parents that we did a good thing. Looking back, I wish
that I should've done my best for myself and not for others. Seeking for the constant academic
validation and urge to be successful in life only gave me pressure, anxiety, and self doubts.
Now, thing's have changed and I've learned to not just appreciate myself but to also love myself
because I am enough and that is what matters the most.