Read the article below about managing difficult conversations at work.

Choose the best sentence from the

list to fill each of the gaps and mark a letter A–I. Do not use any letter more than once. There is an example
at the beginning, (0).
Managing difficult conversations at work
Difficult conversations and the disruption they bring to our lives in the workplace are part of everyone’s
experience. All of us have had conversations with colleagues and superiors, or with clients, that we have
found difficult to manage, have raised negative feelings and that have had a damaging effect on our working
relationships. According to research carried out by psychologists Sue Clark and Mel Myers, difficult
conversations at work tend to reveal a number of recurring features.
(0) E Aggression is often also involved: opinions are put forward and judgements made in an aggressive or
dogmatic way and attempts to express alternative points of view are dismissed with no real consideration
of their merits. However, it seems that the opposite situation, where the issues concerned seem so delicate
and sensitive that it is almost impossible to refer to them directly, is just as hard to handle. (1) Evasion and
subversion are also recurring features of difficult conversations. People may employ very effective and
socially acceptable techniques to evade or deny the discussion of difficult issues; and, in so doing, avoid
accountability.
Clark and Myers also identified common situations or contexts in which difficult conversations are most
likely to occur. (2) It is never easy to give negative feedback, be it to a member of staff on their performance,
a colleague who has not done what they said they would do or, worst of all perhaps, to a senior manager
when we disagree with their policy. (3) This is particularly true in situations where our professional
judgement is put into question and all the harder if the criticism comes from a more junior colleague.
Difficult conversations are often so because they seem to threaten our relationships. Handling a conflict of
views between ourselves and another individual can be hard enough, but it can be even more challenging
to go against what we believe to be the group consensus. (4) As might speaking up for a colleague who we
believe is being wrongly criticized or making it clear that we do not go along with a piece of office gossip.
Paradoxically, finding a response to situations that are less overtly charged or hostile can be just as
problematic, since we have to ‘rock the boat’ by bringing into the open problems that are only implied and
not stated. How, for example, do we engage with someone who refuses to discuss things with us, perhaps
by carrying on working or responding jokingly to our attempts to have some serious conversation? What
do we say to a manager who we feel never listens or always responds in a dismissive tone of voice?
Clark and Myers are unequivocal about the adverse effects of difficult conversations on an organization. It
is not just that where difficult conversations lead to arguments and stand-offs, they can have a negative
effect on people’s ability to work together: inadequate or poorly managed feedback, for example on job
competencies, can result in organizations continuing to carry weaknesses that are not addressed
effectively. (5) There are strong links between the effectiveness of individuals in addressing their work-
related difficulties and the capacity of their organizations to learn and change.
The solution Clark and Myers offer is a series of techniques for managing difficult conversations, based on
taking what they call an ‘open-to-learning’ approach to communication. (6) Firstly, it is essential that both
parties question their assumptions, such as ‘He’s going to be really angry about this’, ‘She’s just not a
creative person’, etc., since these function as boundaries to our thinking and make it difficult for us to take
on board information that does not fit with our personal ‘taken for granted’ position. (7) Secondly, we
should ensure that we promote partnership in the conversation by doing things like checking our
understanding of the other person’s viewpoint and agenda instead of being totally preoccupied with
ramming through our own. (8) This involves taking care not to take it for granted that the other person
has all the information they need: we should always check assumptions such as ‘She knows the situation’
or ‘My reasons are obvious’; it is also important to avoid relegating certain problems as no-go areas for
discussion because we believe they are potentially upsetting, embarrassing or threatening.

A Being ‘open to learning’ is based on how we deal with three aspects of our thinking: assumptions,
partnership and information exchange.
B Finally, we need to check that we are promoting the exchange of all relevant information.
C In the worst case, our assumptions even lead us to misinterpret and distort new information so that it
fits them.
D Top of the list are situations involving either the giving or receiving of criticism.
E Commonly, these types of conversations occur in situations where people feel threatened by criticism of
their behaviour, competence and judgement.
F How do you discuss a problem that has become ‘taboo’ even to mention?
G When managers handle difficult conversations badly, the result can be reduced confidence in
management and a correspondingly reduced commitment to the organization.
H For example, putting forward a point of view that runs counter to the general opinion of the meeting
often feels like a tremendous risk.
I However, responding to criticism on some aspect of our own performance is just as difficult, perhaps even
more so.
Read the article below about assertiveness training. Choose the correct word or phrase to fill each gap.
There is an example at the beginning, (0)
The future of assertiveness training
Over the last ten years assertiveness training has become (0) C accepted, particularly for women. Many companies
in the UK buy in assertiveness training from organizations such as the Industrial Society or develop their own in-
house programmes. The directory of London adult education classes lists nearly 60 different courses under the
‘assertiveness’ heading, but what are they really selling and how effective are the (1) in the workplace? Janet
Hartnett, a trainer with the British Women’s Training Association, believes that the concept of assertiveness is often
misunderstood. ‘People tend to confuse assertiveness with (2), but in fact, the keywords in assertiveness training
are equality, honesty and directness. (3) to put-downs with even greater put-downs, for example, is simply
aggression, whereas assertiveness is all about not being afraid to put your own feelings and thoughts across clearly,
listening to the (4) and getting into negotiation and communication.’
Laura Graffham, 27 an Advertising Sales Executive in a busy London-based publishing house recently went on a two-
day assertiveness training course sponsored by her company. Her reactions were mixed. Whilst she appreciated all
the tips and suggestions relating to how to project oneself and one’s ideas and how to make (5) presentations in
meetings, she felt that these were ‘personal skills’. However, the main problem was that the course (6) that everyone
has a basic level of reasonableness. ‘It suggested that if you yourself are calm, sensible and willing to negotiate,
everyone else will fall into line. But they won’t.’ She feels that roleplaying techniques with colleagues is a long way
from dealing with an (7) client ‘who has lots of options that I don’t have, like yelling and generally going totally (8)
about something, putting the phone down or just refusing to cooperate. It’s when you start to try and bring in other
people who are a totally unknown quantity that you see the gaps in the theories.’
In the final analysis, Laura felt that the majority of the assertiveness techniques she learned would be swiftly
undermined by ‘sullenness, refusal to cooperate, laziness or just plain nastiness’. She believes that, in her job anyway,
‘charm is far more subtle and effective’. Alastair Wood, Human Resources Director for outplacement company, Axis,
would agree. ‘Assertiveness training in the traditional sense isn’t relevant anymore.’ What employees really need
nowadays, he says, are ‘influencing skills’. He is (9) that traditional management structures have changed
permanently and doesn’t believe women need to be assertive to survive in a man’s world. ‘Clever companies have
abolished the old pyramid-shaped hierarchy and created much flatter structures. What these kinds of organizations
need are people who can build teams and negotiate, and women are better at finding (10) and not upsetting people.’
So has old-fashioned ‘keeping one’s end up’ completely lost its relevance in the modern workplace? Not unless you
truly believe that all modern companies have become havens of caring-sharing egalitarianism. Janet Hartnett of the
British Women’s Training Association remains deeply sceptical. ‘A certain amount of competitiveness and conflict
are (11) in any human environment,’ she says. It is instructive to look for points of (12) in the animal kingdom. In
his book The Selfish Gene, zoologist Richard Dawkins examines a hypothetical community of confident and
aggressive ‘hawks’ and mild-mannered ‘doves’. The passive doves, who flutter away from every confrontation, do
pretty well whilst the bullying hawks constantly attack each other and fight for supremacy amongst themselves.
However, when the population settles down and the communities establish themselves, it is the hawks who end up
in the majority. The meek, it seems, do not in fact inherit the Earth.

0 A largely B greatly C widely D enormously

1 A practice B knowledge C performance D techniques
2 A demeanour B aggression C behaviour D hitting
3 A Responding B Answering C Giving back D Acting
4 A music B response C reason D retort
5 A efficient B assertive C economic D effective
6 A appreciated B required C assumed D advised
7 A abrasive B urgent C impressive D essential
8 A up B up the wall C on the roof D ballistic
9 A lucky B positive C optimistic D fortunate
10 A common place B common ground C common points D in common
11 A unfortunate B unsuitable C irrational D inevitable
12 A comparison B equality C suitability D examination