Assertiveness Toolkit

Prepare yourself/set the - Choose the time and place

scene - Clarify what you need to say
- Decide what you want from the situation
- This is to help you feel in control

Recognise your rights - Recognise your rights in the relationship

- Explore when/where you allow your rights to be violated or
violate the rights of others

Explore communication - What behaviour type do you assume and when?

styles or behaviour types - How does this behaviour type relate to your past
relationships?

Explore your body - Explore and identify your behavioural tendencies

language/non-verbal - What is your body language communicating
behaviour

Disclosing feelings – - Take responsibility for how you feel

explore your verbal - How can you express your feelings appropriately?
behaviour - Which feelings are difficult to express and why?
- How can you reduce this difficulty?

- Use concise speech

Being clear - Use short, clear statements
- Avoid unnecessary padding

Staying with it - Stay with your point/intention

- Avoid getting hooked or side-tracked

Empathizing - In order to communicate with respect and equality we need to

empathise with the other person
- Acknowledge that you have heard what the other person is
communicating and imagine how it feels to be in their shoes

Work for compromise - Negotiate your needs with the needs of the other person
- What can/can’t you give up
- What can/can’t you accept from the other person?

August 2015