Passive Aggressive Behaviour

What is it?
- An incongruence in that non-verbal behaviour does not match what is being
said, which can foster anxiety and a lack of trust
- Overtly appearing angry or disappointed, but not communicating this openly
or honestly
- Outwardly appearing polite and well-meaning, but covertly manipulating or
scheming underneath
- Allowing ‘negative’ feelings and emotions to build up which are held-in on a
self-imposed need for either acceptance, dependence or avoidance
What are you communicating?
This is what I think/feel but I’m not going to give you the opportunity to listen or
respond to it

Aim
To express some emotion, but not enough to communicate openly so as to avoid
any potential conflict or disruption

Characteristics
- Non-communication – ‘the silent treatment’
- Sarcasm
- Being obstructive
- Being ambiguous or cryptic
- Sulking
- Withholding

Secondary Gains
- Some emotion is able to be expressed
- Conflict is usually avoided and social acceptance maintained
- Others’ ability to respond is disarmed
- Can elicit a response from the other person that ineffectively gets your needs
met

The Price You Pay

- Others may be unable to understand and therefore respond to your needs
- Others may be unwilling to respond to your needs if they feel injured/insulted
- Creates insecurity in all parties
- Creates a bad atmosphere
- It is a form of conflict where either both or one party cannot engage sensibly
in the issues
- Creates ‘negative’ feelings and resentments in an unassertive way

August 2015