Take Me with You

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/14275704.

Rating: Mature
Archive Warning: Rape/Non-Con
Category: M/M
Fandom: 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS, Not edited typed all at once do not
expect this to be perfect of some sort
Relationship: Jeon Jeongguk / Kim Taehyung | V
Character: Kim Namjoon | RM, Kim Seokjin | Jin, Min Yoongi | Suga, Jung Hoseok
| J-Hope, Park Jimin (BTS), Parents lol
Additional Tags: Fluff, Angst, fluff again, Domestic Fluff, amnesiac, Babysitter Taehyung,
Not really rape, mutual feelings involved, side yoonmin, Bottom
Taehyung, top jeongguk, no switch, Gay Sex, Idol AU, taekook, vkook
Language: English
Stats: Published: 2018-04-10 Completed: 2018-05-18 Chapters: 10/10 Words:
43861

Take Me with You

by gukfortae

Summary

"... I know I'd sound absurd, but please this time, take me with you. "

Taehyung's heart fell.

 Chapter 1

Taehyung squirms as he feel the sun sting his eyes and awoken him from his sleep. He looks at the
clock and it says 6:15 am. He got up and got ready for today's agenda, to find work.

Taehyung is a completely orphaned child, both his parents died from a car accident and since then,
he stayed under his uncle’s care. Well his uncle is pretty nice, but his wife isn't, so as soon as he
turned eighteen, which was the day before yesterday, he was kicked out of the house by her aunt
and his uncle can’t do anything about it. But his uncle was kind enough to look for an apartment
where he can stay and paid the down payment, the rest of the rent will be up to him that’s why he’s
in need of work.

He got up from bed and did his morning routines. He took a shower and put on a white polo shirt
and black tight pants to look more formal than casual. He looked at himself in the mirror, fixed his
hair and once he was satisfied, he grabbed his documents and went out to go seek for job. As he
went out of his apartment he felt his tummy grumble from hunger, right he hast eaten breakfast yet.
He ignored his hunger and continued walking out the blocks and walked to the bus stop where he
waited for the right bus to come. He felt his tummy grumble once more but he knew better, he has
to endure hunger because his money won’t last a month if he were to enjoy the luxury of eating
breakfasts. Consider it as a diet he thought.

The bus came and he sat right at the corner at the back. And there he rode with the hope of finding
a good paying job.

-----

Taehyung actually got a job from a fast food chain as a service crew. That's the best job he can
apply for since he is an undergraduate and inexperienced student. The pay would be enough for
him, to eat thrice a day and pay for school fees coz it wouldn't be that much since he’s a full
scholar at the college he is studying at.

It was lunch time when he decided to treat himself a little, he ate lunch somewhere cheap, a
celebration for himself with just himself alone. He is indeed alone anyway. He rode the bus again
on his way back home. As he was about to enter his home, he saw a guy sitting on his toes, curled
up in his apartment's front door.

"Uhm, excuse me do you need something?" He asked as he approached the guy who stared at him
blankly. Taehyung nearly choked from his own saliva when he saw how breathtaking the guy is.
And that stare, though blank, made the little monsters in his tummy go wild. The guy had doe eyes,
eyelids making it look ruthless yet gentle, high nose, and thin lips. This guy is a dish he admits.

The guy looked the other way, not minding Taehyung who just asked him a question. "Uhm,
excuse me sir but do you need something?" Taehyung asked again and as the guy sat there, eyes
blank that was again, for the second time, was directed into him, he knew something’s off.

He looks wealthy for a beggar, except he was unclean. He knelt down in front of the guy to meet
his eye level, and as Taehyung stared at his eyes once more, he felt the need to protect the guy. The
guy looked innocent and angelic yet pitiful. He has this strong aura with himself but his face
contrasts everything. His face looks like those of a baby's white and silky skin, his cheeks looked
chubby, making him want to kiss every bit of it. He felt that the world was too cruel for him, who's
not in his right mind, to be left alone, without someone to take care of him. He knew the guy
needed him, as for the current moment at least. He don't know what's got into him but as he stand
up, he took the guy's hands with him and pulled him inside his apartment.

"Hi, Im Taehyung." Taehyung said once they entered his aparment, reaching out his hand for the
latter to shake but the guy just stared at his hand blankly then to his face. Taehyung sighed and
pulled the guy to the sofa so he can sit. Once he was sat on the sofa staring right at him, he run his
eyes all over the guy, noticing the bruises and cuts the guy had and the dirt clinging all over the
guy's clothes and skin.

He decided to clean him up. Again he pulled the guy through his hand and led him to the bathroom
right beside his room. As they entered the bathroom one reality hit Taehyung's head as he
nervously looked to the guy.

"Okay, you know how to take a bath right?" Taehyung nervously asked the guy, who in return
stared at him then at the shower then back to him.

Damn, I'm gonna see his member? He hilariously thought as he paced back and forth to the small
space of his bathroom.

'Tae you're also a guy, it's even worse if you were to bath a girl.' Because you’re gay. 'Ugh, calm
your ass dude you're just gonna bath him why the ef are you nervous?' I said because you’re gay.
‘Okay, bathing him means helping him, that's it, that's my purpose.' Convince yourself, bitch.

Once Taehyung calmed himself, he looked back at the guy and stood in front of him. "O-okay I'm
going to be the one to bath you but there'’s no malice in it okay?" He said convincing the guy and
himself. Damn, why does this guy have to be this attractive?

He tugs at the hem of the guy's shirt, contemplating for a moment, then slowly lifting it up, the guy
staring right into his eyes. The guy’s eyes was filled with question, but the guy must've realized
what Taehyung is trying to do so he help his hand up as Taehyung successfully took off his shirt
and put in in the hamper right beside them.

The view right in front of Taehyung was too much to handle, the guy's muscular torso is in full
display right in front of him. Taehyung closed his eyes, calming his ass and preparing himself for
the bigger problem, taking the guys pants off. Damn this is gonna be hard. He thought to himself.
But as he open his eyes, there stood something huge--- something relieving yet nerve wracking.

The guy took off his own pants upon the realization that Taehyung is trying to bath him.

Taehyung's eyes immediately shot up to the ceiling as he try to avoid seeing the guy's naked from.
Looking up, even though looking like an idiot, he led the guy under the shower then turns it on.

The guy was looking at him but the moment the cold water run through him, the guy shrieked and
run to jump at him, causing him to lose his balance and they fall on the floor, the guy on top of
him. Taehyung's cheeks was filled with hot blush as he realized their position. The malicious desire
wasn't there anymore, instead he felt soft for the big baby who can't take the coldness of the water.

"Hush there baby boy it's fine. I know you can take it." He said to the guy as he was standing up.
The guy looked right at him, fear evident at his eyes. He motioned his hand onto the shower and
the guy followed where his hand were going, then looked right back at Taehyung, who gave an
assuring smile.

The guy once again stood under the running shower. Taehyung watches as the guy eyed everything
with curiosity and stared at the water coming from the shower. Taehyung was waiting for the guy
to probably do the bathing, but he nearly face palmed as the guy opened his mouth and drank the
water falling from the shower. Taehyung chuckled to himself. Such a cutie.

So looking up, Taehyung went to join the boy under the shower as he grab his lavender scented
shampoo, squeezed an ample amount on his palm, made a foam then massage the scalp
thoroughly, refusing to look down. He rinsed the guy’s hair then applied conditioner. He then
proceeded to clean the guy’s lower body, grabbing his body scrubber, applied soap and started
cleaning the guy’s body while looking up.

He rinsed the guy and dried him off and wrapped him in a towel as he went to his closet, grabbing
a pair of sweatpants and a white shirt. He turned back to go back to the bathroom but he already
saw the guy in his room, near the bed staring at him with his towel wrapped around him. He went
to dress the guy and while at it, he heard the guy's tummy growl. He quickly treated his bruises and
dressed him up. He then decided to cook dinner himself and the guy.

He was busy transferring the hot ramen into two separate bowls when he felt a hand tugging his
shirt and a breathing right at his nape. He finished pouring the food then turned around to face the
guy. The guy let put a whimper when he saw Taehyung’s face, leaning his head into his shoulder.
What, why is this guy so clingy. Taehyung can’t help but feel soft at the affection he’s getting.

He was ready to swing his arms around the guy and say soothing words but the guy must have
smelled the food he's cooked and immediately jerked off him and went to grab the hot bowl of
ramen, brought it into his face for a sip when the hot feeling registered to his skin, causing him to
drop the porcelain bowl on the ground, the spilled hot soup burning his bare feet.

Taehyung watched as the guy wince in pain. He immediately pulled the guy from his feet to keep
him away from the boiling soup.

"AISH WHY CAN'T YOU JUST WAIT! LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO YOURSELF!" Frustrated,
he shouted mindlessly to the guy.

The guy looked at him, scared and then looked down, the same time his tummy grumbled once
again.

Taehyung felt a pang of guilt bit through him as he realized what he did. The guy was left alone for
how many days to starve and once he was in front of a food, he was left being scolded. The guy
backed away, scared of Taehyung and he felt his heart break a little. He immediately went to the
guy and tried to catch his gaze as he was looking down. He held the guys shoulder, flinching and
the sudden contact causing him to direct his fear stained eyes to Taehyung. Taehyung felt his heart
break a little once more as he comfort the guy.

"Im sorry I was just---I wast just looking out for you okay? I didn't mean to shout at you." He said
as he stroke the guy's black locks and stared right in his eyes. He saw the guy smiled a little, and
walked closer to him, rubbing his cheeks on Taehyung's clothed chest.

Taehyung's heart felt a warm comfortable thing touched him at the guy's action. This was the first
time someone showed him this some sort of... affection since his parents died. His uncle was never
this intimate to him even though he's really nice. Same goes with his aunt who have been nothing
but a bitch to him.
Taehyung rubbed the guy's head and then led him back to the dining table. Seeing there's only one
bowl left, he chose to give it to the guy as he let him sit in front of the table. He brought the soup
right in front of him. He saw how eager the guy is into emptying the bowl, but was restraining
himself. Silly guy. He must've thought I'll get angry. Taehyung chuckled as he grabbed a fork,
rolled some noodles and brought it to the guy's mouth, who instinctively opened his mouth and
took in the food. Taehyung gave the fork to the guy and the guy willingly took it. He watched as
the guy ate in rush.

He then stood up, while the guy is eating, and proceeded to cleaning the mess. He placed the
shattered glass on the dust bin then rubbed off the spilled food. He went back to the guy and saw
the guy has stopped eating. He leaned in to see if the guy has emptied the bowl already and upon
seeing it halfway done, he sat right next to the guy and asked. "What's wrong? Aren't you hungry?
Don't you like the food?" He asked the guy who looked at him then to his bowl, the slowly pushed
the bowl in front of Taehyung.

"No, no it’s fine. Come on eat up!" The guy tilted his head. He then proceeded to roll some
noodles on his fork, and brought it in front of Taehyung's mouth.

Taehyung was taken aback, he then opened his mouth and watched the guy bring the fork inside
his mouth for him to eat the food. They finished the meal feeding each other.

Once they were finished, Taehyung stood up and washed the dishes and then turned to look at the
guy. Taehyung saw the guy smiled, a contented one, showing his bunny teeth. Aish, this guy is
cute.

"Did you ate well?" He asked the guy and he got a stare in response.

Sighing, Taehyung patted the guys head and said, "Okay, now were gonna sleep, okay?" He
whispered to the guy and saw the guy's tired eyes falling. They walked back to Taehyung's room
hand in hand and laid the guy on his bed, and tucked him to sleep. Taehyung then brought one
pillow to his living room, and slept on his couch.

------

"Fck man slow down you'll get us killed!"

"Killed? Dont you trust my driving skills? I've earned a reputation in car racing! Trust me, will
you?" Jungkook cockily said while looking right at his best friend Yoongi.

"Focus on the roa-----"

Everything was cut off by a loud bang, then everything went black.

-----

Taehyung was woken up by a strange sound coming from his room. He laid there intending to
listen more when he heard the guy growling and moaning, seems like he's having a nightmare. He
immediately stood up and run to his room.

He saw the guy on his bed, wailing over and over as he keeps moaning and whimpering, thrashing
around. He run through his bed, held the guy in his shoulders and shook him to wake him up.

"Hey, hey wake up! It's me Taehyung!" He said as he was shaking the guys shoulder. He shook the
guy once more until he opened his bloodshot eyes.
The guy rushed into hugging Taehyung and Taehyung hugged him back, running soothing strokes
on his back and once again comforting him.

"Hush baby it’s me. Everything's fine okay? I'm here, I'm not leaving you." He said as he broke the
hug, held the guy's cheek and said the words, his voice gentle and comforting. He gave one
reassuring smile as he motion the guy to lay back, and then he scooted right next to the guy. The
guy was facing him as they lay together and he went closer to the guy, hugging his waist and
sinking his nose through his chest. The guy wrapped an arm around Taehyung, causing Taehyung
to look up from his chest, seeing the guy falling into sleep once again.

That night, they slept together on each other's warm and comfortable embrace. No nightmares, no
biting cold, just the two of them, holding onto each other.
 Cooky
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

Taehyung was awoken from his sleep as he felt something heavy stirred right above him,
preventing him to move. He pushed the thing off from him sleepily, wailing his hands and kicking
his feet as he turned and find himself a comfortable position and tried to get back to sleep. He was
about to doze off for the second time when he felt the thing wrapped around him once more,
surrounding his waist and entangling limbs through his legs. His eyes shot open upon the
realization that he wasn’t alone in his bed, he was with the guy, the thing that kept hugging him.

He turned on his back to face the sleeping guy. He looked angelic. Soft deep breaths coming in and
out of his nose and ajar mouth, his hair dropping right below his eyelashes and Taehyung fights the
urge to sweep those strands and caress the guys face. He was staring intensely right to the guy for a
quite long while when he realized their position. They were lying face to face, the guy’s arms and
legs wrapped around those of his own, his hand resting on the guy’s chest and if he’ll lean on, he’ll
be breathing in the guy’s neck.

Their position is warm and comfortable, Taehyung will admit to that. This was the first time he get
to cuddle with someone. The intimacy he’s feeling towards the guy sent a warm soft feeling in his
heart. But he know he has to let go. He looked on the clock and it says 6:07 am. He has work at 8,
so he has to get his ass out of the bed and cook breakfast for the both of them.

He got off of the bed and made his way to the kitchen. He opened his mini refrigerator and saw
nothing. I should do some grocery once I got paid, he mentally made a note to himself. He then
opened his cupboard, which contained instant noodles. He sighed as he grabbed two of the three
packs and sighed once again at the thought of feeding his border noodles all through the day.

He was finished laying everything up in the table and was about to go to his bedroom to wake up
his border but as he turned around, he was faced into a sleepily border rubbing his eyes as he
opened them sleepily and blinked the sleep away. The guy’s face lightened at the sight of
Taehyung.

“Good Morning! Did you have a good sleep?” Taehyung asked the guy as he paced nearer to the
guy, and he got a warm big smile as an answer and he took it as a yes.

Taehyung, feeling soft, smiled back and pulled the guy through his wrist and made him sit in front
of the table.

“Let’s eat?” He asked the guy as he was grabbing his chopsticks, and giving the guy his fork. They
both ate in silence and the whole kitchen was filled with slurping sounds.

“Okay, is it okay if I go out for the whole day? I’ll make your food, they’ll last for a day don’t
worry.”

Taehyung said as he finish washing the dishes. The guy, who’s right behind him clinging onto his
shirt the whole time he’s washing the dishes, didn’t show any indication that he understood
Taehyung. He just stared right back at Taehyung, and again, Taehyung took it as a yes. He cooked
the last pack if his instant noodles, placed in on top of the table and putted a casserole lid on top of
it to avoid insects and flies from lingering.
Taehyung heads to the bathroom after he took his work clothes and towel, the guy following him.
He went inside the bathroom, closed the door and took off all his clothes. He was busy foaming his
body with soap when he heard the door opened, revealing his border looking scared and relieved at
the sight of Taehyung.

“What the fu--- why did you get in here?!” Taehyung shrieked as he grab a towel and wrapped
himself, not minding the soap all over him.

The guy looked at him innocently, as if what he did was normal, following Taehyung to his bath is
normal, seeing Taehyung naked is normal, and everything that involves Taehyung is normal. So
sticking with him all the time is just normal.

Taehyung felt frustrated as he walk to the guy as he directed him out of his bathroom. “Stay right
here, okay?,” he closed and locked the door a she proceeded to continue his bath.

He was unwrapping the towel from him when he heard a scratching at his door and a frustrated
whimper, coming probably from his border.

He wrapped himself once again and opened the door for the guy, he was ready to scold the guy
when he saw the look in his face.

There, in front of him, stood an almost teary eyed guy, reaching out for him, tugging on his arms as
if begging to take him. Taehyung felt his heart warm once more as the thought of the guy needing
him passed through his mind.

“Alright, alright, I’m taking you but you has to face the door and not me, is that okay?” Taehyung
asked as he place his hand in top of the guy’s head. The guy stared right at him and he directed him
to enter, and face the door, his back on Taehyung.

“Okay that’s it, don’t look okay?” Taehyung said as he steeped under the shower once more and
started unwrapping his towel. Upon hearing Taehyung’s voice, the guy turned around and faced
Taehyung the same time Taehyung was done unwrapping himself.

“WHAT THE I TOLD YOU TO NOT---“ Taehyung didn’t finish his sentence as the guy turned
around wide-eyed. He must’ve recognized the same expression Taehyung showed when he was
kicked out of the room, so instinctively, he turned to face the door.

Taehyung found the action cute, but he’s a bit guilty for he must’ve scared the guy when he
shouted at him earlier, and now, he is once again scared for he might get kicked out once more.

“It’s okay I’m not mad, just… just don’t turn around okay?” The guy didn’t dare to look at him
once more and he continued his bath.

When Taehyung finished, he dressed up and went to the guy, who’s now sitting on his toes.

“Hey, you can look at me now.” The guy still didn’t turn to face Taehyung. He’s quick to avert his
gaze everytime Taehyung met his.

“Silly, you can look now!” When the guy sat still, not facing him, he moved around and crouched
to meet the guy’s eye-level, who turned his gaze once more avoiding his gaze.

Taehyung laughed at the guy’s action as he cupped his face, the contact making his insides churn,
and turned his face to look right at him. He’s now squatting in front of the guy.
“You can look at me now okay?” Taehyung said while displaying a warm wide smile on his face,
making the latter smile back. The smile given to him was breath taking. It took him a couple of
minutes, just him face to face with the guy, his hands cupping the latter’s face, staring through
each other’s eye with smile on their faces, until he realized he is staring for quite a while now.

He averted his gaze and stood up, taking the guy’s arms with him.

“I’ll be going to work now, okay? Wait for me here.” He said leading the guy to the leaving room
and turning on the television.

“You can watch here while I was gone, I’ll come back at lunch to feed you alright?” He said while
making the guy sit on his couch.

Suddenly, he did not feel like working.

He walked slowly, almost not wanting to leave and went to grab his bag. He’s aware of the curious
stare the guy was giving him. He looked back at the guy as he grabbed his bag. His heart break a
little when he saw the guy getting ready to get up from the couch and run to him.

He headed to the door and wore his shoes. He was about to step out, avoiding to look back, when
he heard loud running steps going to his direction and felt a body crashed into him causing him to
stumble a little.

He looked at his border, hugging his waist tightly at looking up at him. The guy fell down from
the impact earlier and is now on his knees, clinging into Taehyung. Taehyung felt his heart leap.
He also didn’t want to be apart from the guy. He’s scared he might hurt himself and he wasn’t
there to ease him, he’s scared he might get scared and he wasn’t there to comfort him and he’s
scared there’ll be no cute guy waiting for him when he get home later. He knows something was
off with this guy’s mind. He looked normal, really, except he doesn’t talk and he seems to forgot
how the world functioned.

He gained all his strength as he breathed in and tried freeing himself from the guy’s clutches. And
by the time he did so, he crouched and looked the guy in the eye, who’s shaking while clinging
into him as if his life depended onto him.

“Hush baby, I’m coming back okay? It’s okay, it’s okay.” He don’t know what’s gotten into him,
for calling the guy ‘baby’ and why he felt disappointed when the guy loosened up his hug from
him. He stood up, fully free from the guy’s hold.

The guy, stood in his place, not wanting to be pushed by Taehyung inside the house. Taehyung
sighed, walked back inside his apartment and reached out his hand for the guy to take. The guy
stared at him, tilted his head as if thinking whether to take Taehyung’s hand or not. He must’ve
sensed that Taehyung is only lulling him to go inside, and that he’ll leave soon the moment he’s in.
Taehyung, went further inside with his hands stretched, and that swept away all the guy’s doubts.
He walked towards Taehyung, his hands going all the way up to touch Taehyung’s.

Taehyung led him back inside his home, sat him on a couch, fixed his own shirt and headed out.

But once again, he was stopped in his tracks, a few feet away from his home and felt arms
wrapping around his waist, and cheeks pressed on his nape.

He turned around and faced the guy, heart and will to leave the guy alone melting in the process.

That’s it, I’m taking him with me.

“Okay, okay, I’m taking you with me alright? But I want you to follow everything I’ll tell you
okay?” He said to the guy and the latter just stared at him, blinking thrice while tilting his head.

The adorable sight in front of him made him chuckle, and brought his hands up to rustle the latter’s
hair. He then proceeded to lock his home and they both started walking to the bus stop.

Riding buses was never Taehyung’s thing. He hated the movement, the smell, and the
uncomfortable feeling of sitting with strangers. He once promised himself he’d buy himself a car,
but that just seem impossible, for his current situation at least. But then riding a bus with the guy
took all the things he hated, and started loving each. He loved how they we’re both seated, body
moving along with the movements of the bus, he loved the smell, the same air the guy beside him
was breathing, and he loved ti be sitted beside his border, just the two of them, having their own
space, exclusively for the both of them. This guy and him.

They came into the place where Teahyung works, and Taehyung, to his dismay, can’t bring the
guy with him while he worked. Knowing his border, he’ll insist to be with him at all cost.

He actually listened when he saw how serious I am about ordering him.

The scene earlier, where he took a bath came into Taehyung’s mind, and sure he was a beginner in
babysitting, he ended up looking like a pure idiot shouting awkwardly.

“Hey, border hey.” He said, trying to get the attention of his border. The border, who was looking
at a food stall meters away from them looked at him with his wide curious eyes.

Breathe in, breathe out. He took another series of 2 minute worth of breathes as he flashed an angry
face.

“GRRR I WANT YOU TO STAY RIGHT HERE! GRRRR IM SO ANGRY AND YOU’RE
STAYING RIGHT HERE!” He awkwardly shouted, looking directly at the boy, and he was well
aware of the stares he’s got from shouting.

The latter looked at him, head tilted and Taehyung’ll swear he saw humor passed through his
borders eyes.

Great! Taehyung just got his cracked border looked at him laughingly, how great can a Kim
Taehyung be. But… he also know to himself how determined he can be.

“GRRRR! I SAID IM SO ANGRY RIGHT NOW AND YOU’LL FOLLOW WHAT IM

TELLING YOU. YOU.ARE.STAYING.RIGHT.HERE GRRRRRR!” Taehyung once again
shouted letting the rrrr sound linger a little longer to his tongue doing unnecessary hand actions that
made him look a little more extra than he already is, but to no avail, he looked stupid and his
border blinked and smiled, showing his bunny teeth.

Taehyung knew too well that he’s supposed to be irritated and mad and all the bad things, but he
has this soft spot for his border, which was more intensified by his cute bunny smile, and that just
melted all the frustrations away before it can register to Taehyung’s mind.

Taehyung sighed in defeat, putting his both hands on his border’s shoulder, head hanging low as he
crouched and used the shoulders for support, inhaled deep breathes and finally lifting his head,
voice so low yet tender as he spoke, “Listen, I want you to stay here while I work or else I’ll get
fired and we’ll both be starving to death. Is it alright with you? I promise it won’t take long.”
His border stared right into him, humour no longer evident in his eyes and Taehyung was taken
aback, when his hands fell from the boy’s shoulder as the boy took the sit on a bench perched on a
park, right across his workplace.

Taehyung smiled at the action as he felt the need to ruffle the boy’s hair and when he did, the boy
instinctively leaned on to Taehyung’s touch, sending waves of adoration and affection to
Taehyung’s systems.

He smiled one last time as he took steps towards work.

One thing about Taehyung is that when he’s doing something, he tend to focus all his attention
into it. But now it seems a little hard to focus at work as he occasionally throw glances towards
where he left the boy. And every time Taehyung do so, he’ll see the same position he’s left the
boy.

“Taehyung! I’ve been calling you for a while now!” He was caught off from staring through the
glass walls as the restaurant’s manager, Kim Seokjin whined at him.

“Oh, I’m sorry what is it?” He asked the moment he pulled off his stare from his boy, yeah, his
boy.

“I’m going to introduce you to your new co-worker.” Seokjin said as he noticed the boy beside
him. The boy looked cute but he has this sexy aura with him.

“Taehyung I want you to meet Jimin, and Jimin this is Taehyung. He’s also a service crew so I
hope you get along well. If you need something I’ll be in the kitchen.” Seokjin introduced them
and went inside the kitchen.

The new kid is actually a good company, Taehyung must admit to that. He came from Busan to
Seoul to study at a good university and he’s got his parents support, but Jimin insisted on working
so he won’t always depend on his parents and ‘it feels good to have money of your own’, Jimin
said.

The working hour passed with a distracted Taehyung with Jimin by his side.

Lunch time came and Taehyung quickly rushed to the boy’s side, half running. The boy sat there
patiently and when he saw half-running Taehyung, he was quick to stand up and run up to
Taehyung.

“Hey there, buddy. That didn’t took long right?” Taehyung said while ruffling the boy’s hair. He
quickly guided him to the food stall a few meters away from them. They ate lunch together and
Taehyung went back to work, wishing it’d finish soon just so he can be with his border.

Work actually ended and he bought take out foods before going all the way home.

Taehyung plopped himself on the couch the moment they got home. He’s tired and hungry. He saw
his border walking towards him, still wearing the clothes he made him wear yesterday. Those were
his clothes. And Taehyung quickly reminded himself to bathe him again later before sleep as he
stood up and readied the food. Again, they ate together and Taehyung feels… worried? Sad? He
doesn’t know, there’s this heart breaking thought as he gets more attached to his border.

Taehyung’s getting more attached to the boy the longer they are together. But soon he knows he
has to turn him back. What about his family? He cant keep him to himself forever. He knows that,
but it’s just human nature to avoid everything they do not want.
 They were sitting, almost cuddling on his couch when he heard a knock on his door. He stood up,
said to the boy he’ll be back and went to opan the door.

“Hello! Im you—oh, Taehyung? We’re neighbours?” Jimin said while he was standing in his
doorway.

“Uhm, I guess so. Why are you here?” Taehyung didn’t want that to sound rude but he really is
tired.

“I brought these home-made cookies, you know, new neighbour tradition. You must be tired, I’ll
get going.” Jimin said as he gave him the jar of cookies, yes jar, and readied himself to leave.

“Im sorry if I sounded rude, tired indeed. Btw, thank you for these.” Taehyung said more polite
this time, and said goodbyes to Jimin. He caught Jimin peeping through his back, and then turned
to Taehyung and said his goodbyes and peeped through his back once more as he turned to leave.
This time, longer.

“Is he your brother or something?” Jimin asked curiously.

“Uh, no. He’s my… border?”

“You in a relationship?”

Jimin’s eyes widen before saying, “I’m sorry, am I being to nosy? You know I can be a little to
extrovert sometimes. I’ll get going now.” Jimin said as he show him the rest of the cookie jars he
still has to deliver.

“Uh, no its fine, I myself is a little extroverted too.” Taehyung answered showing his boxy smile.

Jimin leaves the same time the cookie jar did in his hands. His border snatched it from him and
started digging the cookies.

“Woah woah, slow down there bub you might choke yourself.” He laughingly said but to no avail.

“Alright, I’ll call you Cooky from now on.” His border must have liked what he just called him,
because he lift his face up from the cookie jar and smiled.

Chapter End Notes

Hsjsnajsbsj
 Chapter 3
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

Taehyung is in a daze, fingers tapping profusely on a table where he is leaning into, the other
cupping his chin as his thoughts wander through his home, where he’s left Cooky. Well not
literally his home. Jimin seems to find his daytime part time job a conflict in his schedule since his
schedule isn’t much like Taehyung’s, Sunday, Monday and Tuesday free and Wednesday to
Saturday occupied. Jimin decided to work on night time just so he can fit in his schedules and
plans.

Jimin happen to saw the commotion earlier, Cooky’s hands not leaving Taehyung’s uniform. He
offered to look after Cooky while he was working. Cooky looked like he was against the idea, but
when he saw Jimin’s cookie jar, probably for the rest of their neighbour, he let go of Taehyung’s
uniform, grabbed the cooky jar from Jimin, and completely forgot about Taehyung.

He jumps in surprise when he hears the door chimes ring, sign of a new customer.

“Good Morning!” Tae greeted as part of the work protocol.

His work is a little more tiring today than any other day, customers coming relentlessly, and
Taehyung doesn’t know if he should be thankful for quite a handful of tips he’s receiving or sorry
for himself because he’s feeling the fatigue take over his body.

Luck must not been in his side today because as soon as he got off from work, rain started pouring
mercilessly. Great, now he has to deal with an aching body and cold. But he has to go home,
Cooky’s still at Jimin’s and it’s too much for him to take advantage of that. Sure Jimin wont mind
but there’s this itching worry in Taehyung’s gut that he might be going a little too indebted to Jimin,
they literally just met, and now he’s here… asking favors. So he has to go home.

He steps into the rain, his clothes almost immidietaly soaked and he starts running to the bus
station. He made a mental note to bring umbrella next time. The aircon in the bus didn’t help
either, so when he got home, hes freezing. He stopped over Jimin.s place first and picked up
Cooky.

He was faced with a Cooky patiently waiting at him, in indian sit position, when Jimin opened the
door for him.

“He’s been there since he finished his cookies this morning. I only convinced him to stand up when
its time to eat. Cookies didn’t work either. Hes eagerly waiting for you.”

Jimin said, scratching the back of his head. Cooky immedieately stands up and pounces at
Taehyung, embracing him in a hug.

“Im sorry. Did he bother you a lot?” Taehyung said as he returns the hug, the cold now vanishing
as Cooky’s warmth brush off the chill hes feeling.

Jimin eyed the action, then replied, “No, no, he didn’t even moved an inch so, its fine.”

The thought of Cooky eagerly waiting for him sent waves of warm affection into his heart, a smile
creeping into his lips.
“Oh, still thank you for looking after him.” Taehyung said, ruffling Cooky’s hair before turning to
Jimin.

“No problem. You can drop him off here whenever you need.” JImin curtly said

“We’ll be going now, thank you again.”

Jimin gave off a reassuring simle after they bowed as a sign of goodbye.

Taehyung only felt the tiredness down on him when they entered their apartment. Arms still
wrapped around Cooky, he leaned in and rests his head over the latter’s shoulder, inhaling his
natural scent.

“Cooky, I’m so tired.” He said, voice almost coming out as a whimper.

Cooky pulled back and eyed him curiously, bottom lip jutting out into a cute pout. Yeah, he
doesn’t know what I’m saying.

“Damn, if I were to see that cute face every time I go home then I wouldn’t mind getting worked
up all day.”

Cooky pulled his head back into his shoulder, and there he got soft strokes in his hair as a response.
This feels good. Taehyung started relaxing into Cooky’s hold, thoughts blank and a comfortable
silence wrapped around them. This close proximity is part of those times where he finds himself
falling. They’re strangers, yet they get to be this close and touchy, and normal people’s tendency is
to fall.

He pulled out and looked at Cooky’s face, still as innocent as ever, this is his Cooky. His Cooky
who only wants him, his Cooky who needs him and only him, his Cooky… his Cooky whom he’s
caging only for himself. He know full well that he cannot keep this guy to himself forever. The
thought of Cooky apart from him is breaking his heart. He stared shamelessly on Cooky’s face, he
have all the guts to stare because there’ll be no mouth teasing him for staring too long, no annoying
laughter directed to irritate him, no playful eyes to tease him. He can do whatever he want, yet he
do not want that. This relationship of theirs isn’t normal. He’s just a hell of a selfish man trying to
own what’s not his. But, he can at least have him for a short time, yeah?

The staring didn’t last longer when Taehyung cupped Cooky’s cheeks, eyes now specifically
directed on the soft plump lips, and Taehyung started leaning closer. Eyes closing as he lessen their
gap, thoughts going haywired. It’s just a kiss, he wouldn’t know what it means. Besides, I feel it,
he wants me too.

Taehyung can feel Cooky’s breaths in his lips now and that’s when he realized what he’s doing. He
planned to stop but their proximity is too close, he just decided to go for the cheeks, a brotherly
peck, that would only be it.

Cooky’s eyes went wide, not in shock but in curiosity but still, he did the same to Taehyung, lips
landing on the very side of his own, one move and they’ll be lips to lips.

Taehyung pulled away from Cooky. Fck, what have I done? Did I really plan to kiss him? Damn
hes not in his right mind! Shit Taehyung, you’re molesting him you idiot!

Taehyung know damn well that Cooky can be so gullible, naïve. His tendency is to follow what
he’s seen, like a child to their parents, like a dog to its owner. Yet… yet he dared to fucking kiss
him but, can’t he be selfish for once? Yes, yes I can. Only for a short time.
--
Taehyung felt his body completely collapsed when his back met his bed right after they ate dinner.
He know he’s going to be sick. He felt Cooky scoot closer to him, strong arms going under his
head, pulling him closer so he’s laying sideways. He’s sick, but he never felt this comfortable
while at it.

Cooky… he’s taken a significant place in Taehyung’s heart even for a short time. Cooky and his
doe eyes, Cooky and his bunny teeth, Cooky and his soft fluffy black locks, his clingy Cooky.
Cooky and his lips that looks so soft, his arms looking so strong he wants to be pinned, his
muscular torso, his ripped abdomen, his…

Taehyung shook his thoughts before it gets any further. Did he just lust over Cooky? Damn he’s
the one on his right mind and here he’s lusting over someone who isn’t normal, mentally. He
knows he shouldn’t, he knows it’s inappropriate but… he’s now admitting to himself that he’s
falling for Cooky. Damn Kim Taehyung really? You’re such a weak ass who’s whipped after
getting some sort of affection, if it really is affection. You don’t even know his real name, or if
he’s into guys.

But who wouldn’t? This is the first time he felt he is needed, that someone belonged to him and he
belonged to that someone too. The cuddles, the hugs, the warm comfortable nights, their meals…
their kiss, everything felt so perfect, except he is the only one aware of the fairy tale he is creating.

He looked up from Cooky’s chest, seeing him fast asleep made Taehyung’s insides swell with
warmth, sending him off to sleep.

Taehyung was awaken in the middle of the night feeling all cold and his head is hurting like a
bitch, damn he’s even shivering. He groans and shifts into a more comfortable position, eyes still
closed, he taps the space where Cooky should be in but he felt nothing.

He open his eyes to see if Cooky isn’t really there, turns out he really isn’t. He was in panic mode
so he sat up straight, pain shooting his head at the sudden movement, damn even his joints are
hurting. He’s sick and he can’t move.

“Cooky…” He said but his voice sounded more like a whisper, he’s too weak to even shout.

He wrapped himself with their blanket, and stood up, legs going wobbly as he took steps. He
supported his weight with anything he can get a grip into, trailing his way down to the living room.

His headache is too much and his vision is in circles, cold biting his skin harshly even with the
blanket, and the next thing he knew he collapsed into their sofa.

He tried calling for Cooky’s name again but there’s no response. Shit, he’s really not here.

He kept his eyes trailed on the door, waiting for Cooky to come back if he ever will. Where could
he possibly gone to? Knowing Cooky, he’s not capable of being alone by himself. Anxiety started
creeping onto Taehyung’s systems as he think of the possibilities that are likely to happen to Cooky
now that he’s alone. Or is he really alone? He won’t go anywhere without me.

His sickness is now taking over his body and his thoughts and worry wouldn’t just go off. Then he
started feeling chills, even with a blanket, hands and feet turning cold, skin shivering, and his head,
damn his head is killing him. His eyelids are now starting to close, but his anxiety is keeping him
awake. It reached to the point that he can no longer take the waves of sickness in his body, so he
decided to just sleep and look for Cooky when he is feeling a little better, where he can walk
without his sight spinning. He was dozing off to sleep again when he heard footsteps, running
footsteps.

The door bursts open and there stood Cooky, face bruised, hair rugged, fist closed, and barefoot.
All the drowsiness that drowned Taehyung are now gone, senses suddenly more aware and
responsive with the sight of Cooky. Anger started seeping through his systems, the same time
relief does. But that anger was soon brushed away when Cooky’s appearance dawned into him.
Damn, is he attacked?

Before Taehyung can even utter a question, Cooky ran up to him, placed his fist right in front of
Taehyung, knuckles turned white from the tight grip, then opened it only to reveal tablets of
medicine.

Taehyung doesn’t know how to react. His emotions right now are mix of relief, worry, shock,
maybe a little anger left but above after all of it, his heart is aching with warm affection causing his
eyes to well up, heart beating fast at the process. He shifts his gaze from the meds to Cooky, his
dear Cooky. His face is starting to reveal colors of purple and deep red, lips swollen, scratches all
over his face, even his forearms are bruised. His clothes only proved the conclusion that’s been
lingering on his mind, he’s beaten up.

Taehyung forces himself to sit up and once he is, he pulled Cooky to sit right beside him. Cooky
instinctively wrapped an arm around him. The shivering and chills are still there so he throws his
legs over Cooky’s lap, the back of his knees resting right over Cooky’s legs, he then wraps his
arms around Cooky’s waist, his head adjusting into a comfortable fit in Cooky’s shoulder.

“Cooky, where have you been? I was so worried.” Taehyung’s voice turned into a muffled tone, as
his mouth was pressed upon Cooky’s pectoral.

Cooky only pushed his now open fist into Taehyung, nudging him to take the meds. Taehyung
buried his face deeper into Cooky’s armpits, the latter wincing at the contact.

He’s injured. Taehyung pulls apart from Cooky and face him, anger elevating at the thought of him
getting injured.

“Cooky, I asked where you have been. Why are you injured? Where did you get these tablets?”
Taehyung says, voice radiating anger in every word, eyes grim and lips pulled into a thin line, his
headache now forgotten.

Cooky didn’t answer, of course, he’s not capable of doing so. But Taehyung’s out of his rational
thinking and he needs.answer.now.
Taehyung took a series of deep breathes, preventing his anger from consuming him and lash out on
Cooky.

“What the fuck happened?”Taehyungs tone is now darker than earlier, the kind of tone that Cooky
is now accustomed to, indicating that Taehyung is really mad. His natural reaction is to whimper,
sign of fear and probably hurt and so he did.

But Taehyung isn’t up for a guessing game and if he is Cooky’s response isn’t one hell of a damn
clue. And that ticked his patience, anger now contorting the slopes of his face.

“COOKY FOR ONCE CAN YOU PLEASE USE THAT DAMN MOUTH OF YOURS? IM
FUCKING WORRIED TO DEATH. I WANT DAMN ANSWERS AND YOU’RE FUCKING
BULLSHIT OF A WHIMPER WONT JUST ANSWER EVERYTHING!” Taehyung shouts his
lungs out, veins popping on his neck, and voice cracking from too much anger and his flu. His fist
repeatedly hitting Cooky’s lap.

Cooky can only whimper, lower his head, and flinch at every contact of Taehyung’s fist onto his
lap, staring at where he’s been hit repeatedly. He looked up at Taehyung and once again, showed
the pieces of drug he’s got for Taehyung.

Taehyung was taken aback from the reaction he’s got, damn he went overboard, and yet… yet he
insist on me to taking the meds. He felt guilt eating his gut as he tried to approach and appease
Cooky, hands reaching for both his hands, and the latter flinch at the action, eyes tight shut,
waiting to be hit.

Taehyung let out a sigh, his heart breaking at the process.

“Cooky… Cooky Im sorry I didn’t—God I’m sorry.” Taehyung says, feeling like a hypocrite for
being worried about him getting injured, and yet he’s here hitting him.

“I’m sorry I won’t do it again hm? Shit, I didn’t mean to.”

Taehyung pulled Cooky into a hug, rubbing soothing circles on his back as the latter leaned into
his embrace and for the nth time Taehyung’s heart broke at the action.
 That’s it, he’s forgiven and he can’t seem to wash off the guilt that’s consuming him for how he
acted on impulse, knowing Cooky’s state. He is damn sorry, and he is utterly frustrated as how he
wants Cooky to at least feel mad at him, to throw a fit at him, damn he wanted consequences for
his action. Cooky would always be forgiving of him, no matter how grieve his sin is, and that
didn’t sit up well on Taehyung. It only sent guilt and remorse, aggravating in every affection he’s
getting, it’s the worst feeling knowing you can’t do anything but feel guilty until you get over it.

They were pulling out from the hug when a panting Jimin shows up on their door, panting harshly
as he grips the door frame for support. He’s obviously been running.

“Is Cooky fine? I saw him at the pharmacy while I was out buying snacks for my Netflix and chill.
He was getting beat up. I saw the commotion and there I saw Cooky curled with his fist in his
stomach. I asked what’s happening and apparently, he stole medicines from the pharmacy and he
wouldn’t pay. Luckily there are only a few people out at this hour or else he would be beaten to
death. He won’t open his fist so I just paid for what he’s got. By the way Taehyung are you sick?
You look pale. Oh, are the medicines for you?” Jimin spats without pausing, eyes wide as he wait
for an answer from Taehyung, but the younger only looked from him to Cooky, a tear then rolled
from his eyes.

He fucked up.

Chapter End Notes

not edited. also english isnt my first language sooo im sorry for any mistakes. :')
 Chapter 4
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

The moment his tear fell down, a ton of guilt, remorse, and love pierced through his heart, ripping
it slowly into tiny pieces, cutting him from the inside. The look in Cooky’s face didn’t help either.
There sat Cooky, looking wide-eyed at him, Taehyung’s hits long forgotten, as his doe eyes follow
the trails of Taehyung’s tears running down from his eyes, his hand cupping his right cheek and
wiping the tears even before it reached his chin.

Taehyung melted at the action and he instinctively leans on the touch, eyes closing resulting to a
new batch of tears falling, which was soon to be brushed by Cooky’s thumb, wiping his cheeks in
ever so gentle manner, and there he felt it, he’s truly forgiven.

“I’m sorry.” He slowly whispered, and Cooky gave him a small smile, withdrawing his hands from
his face and then leaning into his chest, nuzzling his cheeks on the soft fabric of Taehyung’s shirt,
whimpering at the smell he’s now grew accustomed to.

“Uh, I’m sorry. Am I interrupting? I mean, I was just about to leave, if you don’t mind then.”
Jimin said as he motion his hands to say he’ll get going, feeling like he’s intruding something so
private, affectionate.

“Uhm, no, not really. I actually want to know what happened to Cooky and you’re right on time.”
Taehyung says as he pull from Cooky, eyes bow directed at Jimin.

“Come in, please.” Taehyung smiled, nodding his head.

“Uh, I actually guessed you were sick cause I saw you dripping wet earlier and Cooky wouldn’t be
that… eager on taking the meds. I bought a couple for you, in case Cooky got the wrong one.”

JImin sat beside Taehyung, his hand feeling up Taehyung’s forehead. “Tae! Youre burning!” JImin
said, standing abruptly.

“I’ll cook a hot soup for you, okay? Can I use your kitchen?”

Taehyungs hums in agreement as Jimin nudged Cooky to stand up and let Taehyung lay
completely on the sofa. Cooky did stood up but only to sit where Jimin left and motioned
Taehyung ti rest his head on his lap. Damn, where’d he elarn all of these? Television I think?
Jimin smiled at the action as he made his way to Taehyng’s kitchen.

Taehyung closed his eye, soft srtokes from his hair lulling him to sleep but no, he’ll try explaining
to Cooky.

“Cooky, I’m really sorry. I know I went too overboard, but that’s just because I care for you okay?
I didn’t mean to hit you. I won’t do it again, I promise. But, do not leave like that again okay?
Also, I don’t want you stealing things for me. I appreciate what you’ve done, and you probably
doesn’t know that stealing is bad, but don’t do it again, hm? I’ll treat your wounds later. Damn, its
feels awful knowing youre hurt because of me. Promise me, you won’t do it again, hm? Do you
promise?”

“Hm.”

Taehyung was surprised, Cooky never replied to him, not even once. He look up, to see Cooky
straight back at him, fingers still playing with his hair. Eyes wary as if he really understood what he
just said, bottom lip jutting out just a little, making his face look like a guilty pup. I’m delirious.
Yes, yes I am.

Taehyung decided to just brush off what happened, closing his eyes again as he indulge himself at
the comfortable position he’s in.

Minutes later Jimin came back from the kitchen, a tray with a bowl of soup, glass of water, and his
meds on his hands. Taehyung sit up straight, smiling as Jimin put the tray down on his small coffee
table.

“Eat up.” Jimin curtly said as he look at Cooky, bruises all visible.

“Uh, Taehyung looks like Cooky needs to be treated. Do you have first aid kit or something?”
Taehyung was in the middle of blowing out the hot from his soup when Jimin asked. He put the
soup down and smiled.

“Yes, yes please do. It’s in the bathroom.”

Jimin went to get the first aid kit but even before he went off Taehyung’s sight, he gently called
Jimin, feeling the need to show him how grateful he is.
“Jimin, thank you.” Taehyung said with a small smile on his lips.

There’s just something about Jimin that makes him feel comfortable, as if he’s his brother.
Taehyung knows a few more days of bonding together and they’ll be inseparable. Their
personalities just click, and Taehyung is yet to show that to Jimin. He’s been too focused on Cooky
these past days and he can’t seem to fully notice how Jimin’s presence makes him want to open up,
share little secrets, just… everything around Jimin is comfortable. The platonic friendship that
Jimin offers is all up for Taehyung to take.

“Anytime.” Jimin smiled back, before making his way to the bathroom.

Taehyung finished eating the same Time Jimin finished treating Cooky. He took his meds and
watched as Jimin prepares himself to leave.

“Tae, you should sleep now. Rest up. You have classes tomorrow right? You can leave Cooky at
my place. We don’t have classes but I have to submit outputs but that won’t take long.” Jimin
nudges Taehyung to stand up, arms draping around Taehyung’s shoulder as he lead to him to his
bedroom, with Cooky trailing behind them.

“Is it okay for me to come inside your room?” Jimin asked as they stood in front of the door, and
Taehyung appreciated the action for he is someone who respect people’s personal space, and he
likes the feeling of his own being respected too.

“Yes, yes of course it’s fine!”

They entered his room and Cooky was quick to place himself in his side of the bed, waiting for
Taehyung to join him and do their usual cuddle before sleep routine. JImin guided Taehyung to lay
down on the bed, tucking him in before excusing himself.

“I’ll get going now. Rest up.” Jimin with a small smile on his lips said before turning to Cooky and
also said his goodbyes to him.

Taehyung muttered a ‘Thank you, Jimin. I really am thankful’ with the most sincere voice he
didn’t know he was capable of, and the warm smile that reached up to Jimin’s eyes showed that he
felt how sincere Taehyung was.
“Cooky, let’s sleep.” Taehyung turned to Cooky right after Jimin left, his headache still torturing
him.

Cooky pulled Taehyung closer, his nose on Taehyung’s hair. He let out a tired growl and sighed as
he settles himself to sleep. Taehyung followed the notion, his chills and shivering completely gone
from the warm and comfortable cuddle only Cooky can provide.

--

Taehyung is currently fishing up all his books after his professor dismissed the class. He is a
photography major currently on his 3rd year. He’s zipping up his back when a batch mate
approached him, hands relatively tucked out for Taehyung to shake.

“Hi, I’m Jihoon.” The stranger said, hand still stretched out.

Taking his hand, Taehyung replied, “I’m Taehyung. Nice to meet you.”

“I was thinking maybe we can have a coffee some other time? I noticed you aced this class, might
as well get some tips from you. I’m also a photography major by the way.”

Taehyung is well aware of the things like this, flirting. Of all places, a café really? They have their
library, or even benches seated around the campus. But then, he’ll come off rude if he were to
refuse the tutoring art, but he’ll burst his bubble to make it clear that he’s not up for any flirting.

“Yeah, sure. But I don’t think cafes are necessary. We can have it at the library. My schedule is
kind of packed since I have a part time job. So, library would be nice, yeah?” I also have my
Cooky.

The disappointment that passed Jihoon’s eyes didn’t go unnoticed by Taehyung. Well, this Jihoon
guy is handsome, really. But for now he can only offer a platonic friendship. His mind is still
messed up. He’s lusting over his border, he have feelings that he knows he shouldn’t have, and he
isn’t an asshole to use other people to atleast ease his mind.

“Yeah, sure. Library it is.” Jihoon said, rubbing the back of his neck before smiling shyly.

“I’ll get going now. I have a class at fifteen.”

“Sure. Nice to meet you again, Jihoon.” Taehyung says, clinging his backpack onto his shoulders.
They went out of the lecture hall walking sideways, saying their goodbyes as they part ways.

--

Taehyung sat on his favourite spot on their library, laptop on his front as he fumble over lightroom
and photoshop apps, working on his project. Taehyung has always loved taking photos not to have
something to brag about on social media but to tell a story, or maybe let people interpret how they
percept his photos, either way Taehyung liked it both. He has a fascination with lights, colors of
teal, pinks, and blues. The colors perfectly fit moments that were captured moving, the ones that
were caught by the eyes only for a short glimpse.

He was scrolling over the folder of his shots, when he stumbled over a group of photos he took a
few days ago. It was Cooky. In one there stood Cooky, his mouth covered with bubbles with his
hands holding two toothbrushes, smiling widely showing off his bubble covered bunny teeth.
Another photo showed Cooky asleep with his blue hoody, with a sleep pretending Taehyung. He
remembered setting up his tripod just to take this photo. If he aint extra for that. Taehyung spent
his time looking at Cooky’s photo while waiting for his next class. Heart mind content and heart
completely happy for the memories he’s made with Cooky.

He was supposed to go home early for all he know Cooky might be bothering Jimin a lot, but he
decided to order pizza, well work paid him yesterday since it was 15th, and a little pizza as a thank
you for Jimin won’t be bad.

He was on the bus going home when he reveives a text from Jimin, saying Cooky has been
whimpering all day, shoving Jimin’s phone onto him everytime. Taehyung can imagine Jimin’s
situation with all the typos of Jimin’s message. He hurriedly called Jimin, the older answering in
an instant.

“Hello Jimin?” Taehyung asks, listening intently on his phone, but only a whimper answered him,
in that instant he knew it was Cooky.

“Hey, there Cooky. I see you’ve been a bad boy eh? Taehyungie would feel bad. I’m on my way
home, just wait a little bit and don’t be a brat to Jimin okay?”

“….”

“Okay, good.Now give the phone to Jimin.” A short silence followed before Jimin was on the line.
“Hello Taehyung? He’s been thrashing around all day. He fell relatively silent when he talked to
you then he gave me my phone before sitting on the couch. It is the first time he sat on the couch,
he’s been sitting in front of the door obviously. Like? What did you tell him?” Jimin said, humor
evident on his voice.

“I’m sorry, I promise I’ll make it up to you. I only told him to be good because I’m on my way
home. There’s no secret word or something.” Taehyung said with relief as he noticed the humor in
Jimin’s voie, he’s probably not that bothered.

“Im counting up to that bud. Perhaps Netflix together will do? Let’s binge watch game of thrones
shall we?” Jimin asked, and the game of thrones tickled Taehyung ears as excitement rise up in his
chest. Damn, that’s his favourite. He wouldn’t mind re-watching all the seasons.

“Sure! I bought pizza and you like some beer? I’ll buy a few bottles if you want.”

“Yeah, pizza with beer would be nice. Come quick! I’m excited.” Jimin squeeled. Great, now
Taehyung’s convinced that they’re soul brothers.

“Yeah, yeah. Im coming. Bye!” Taehyung ended the call as he happily looked out and oh, it’s his
stop.

He happily walked off the bus. He stopped to a convenience store first to buy bottles of bee,
whistling as he pass through strangers. It was on his way to Jimin’s apartment when he saw
something, the colors of his face gone to pale.

MISSING
(PHOTO)
NAME: JEON JEONGGUK
AGE: 19
…

Taehyung stood there stunned, in front of a flier, watery eyes slowly trailing and absorbing all the
words written, his heart sinking at the process. He took out his phone and took a photo of the flier,
his mind filled with a thousand thoughts.

His name is Jeongguk. He has a family, they’re looking for him. He has a life. Should I give him
in? I can’t hide him to myself can’t I? People will eventually see him, anyway. But, what if I don’t
want to? No, I can’t be that selfish. We can still see each other right? But if he forgets about me?
He won’t right? I feel it, he likes me too. Such thoughts lingered on Taehyung’s mind as he walk
his way to Jimin’s apartment.
He put on a fake façade before knocking. He straightened up his sulking body and then smiled
before knocking.

“Hey!” He said, bringing up the pizza and beers he’s talked about earlier.

“Finally you’re here, come in.”

There’s no Cooky pouncing on him and Jimin must’ve read the question on his face, abruptly
saying, “He fell asleep. He’s been thrashing around all day, bet he’s damn tired.”

Taehyung nodded before getting in, and there on the couch he saw Coo—Jeongguk, sleeping
peacefully on Jimin’s couch. His heart twitched in a painful manner for he won’t be able to see his
sleeping face soon. Further thoughts will only tear him up so he decided to shrug it off, smiling
widely as he pretended to be excited as Jimin set up his television for the Netflix.

They were in the middle of watching when a pair of arms wrapped around him, startling him
causing him to spill a few of his beer. He’s tipsy but he knows damn well that it is Jeongguk.

Taehyung has been drowning himself from beer the moment they started watching. Damn, he’s
about to lose his Cooky. His Cooky, hah, he is not his. He has his family. Frankly speaking he’s
not focused on the tv show theyre watching, hes focused on driving his thoughts away rom a
certain topic. The thing about Taehyung is he ru away from his problems. If he doesnt want to face
it then no. He's done it a couple of time but now's first time he's resorting to drinking alchohol. He's
a light drinker but right now hs not afraid of gettin drunk because it is what he needed the most as
of the moment.

It's stupid how he let himself get attached to a stranger, even worse cause he fell in love. The few
days the he spent with Cooky actually had him falling, and the devastating news earlier mad him
realize that he has fallen, it is evident from the heart wrenching pain that twisted his heart the
moment the reality of Cooky will soon be leaving him hit him. Damn he can always visit him, why
is he making a fuss about it? Taehyung wishes it is that simple, but then life chose to be such a
bitch. Jeongguk's family is influential. He's seen it on the flier, the contact persons. They own
several buildings and businesses around soul, which includes Taehyung's school. There might be
TVand newspaper announcements about Jeongguk. Hah, small world ey? Taehyung knows people
like him cant be associated with those who belong to the elite class, pathetic thinking he knows but
when was society's view favor the people like him anyway? Admit it or not there is this social
construct that separates people depending on their status, making it some sort of hierarchial bullshit

He knows he has no choice but to give him in.

"Hey there bub." Taehyung smiled at Cooky, reaching out for a slice of pizza and then giving it to
the latter. Taehyun ruffles Cooky's hair as he smile once more, one that didnt reached his eye.

Jimin is watching the couple, Taehyung's sad smile is evident. He knew from the start that
Taehyung is not okay. He saw the fliers. But no hes not gonna pry, he wants Taehyung to open up
to him only when hes ready, for now he lets him have time to arrange his mind.

Taehyung is hardly drunk when Jimin decided to walk him home. He is very silent, tho his zigzag
walks shouts that he is drunk. Jimin left Taehyung and Cooky on Taehyung's room, tucking
Taehyung into bed before he left.

Taehyung lay there on his bed, eye onhis ceiling thats strangely rotating, and its dizzying. He felt
Cooky lay beside him. Oh, Cooky. His dear Cooky. Taehyung sits up, head spinning at the
process, as he move to sat on Cooky astriding him.

"Hi there, Cooky! You up for some pillow talk?" Taehyung asked, his eyes unfocused, shaking his
head at every word to probably brush the spinning of his sight.

"You know I saw something on my way home and guess what? It broke my heart! HAHAHA"
Taehyung narrated, hands going in all places, trying to support his story with hand gestures. Cooky
is looking up to him, eyes curious as it usually is.

"Can you guess what it is? Hm?...you guessed it right! Youre leaving me!" And that's it, that
triggered Taehyung's tears, falling endlessly as he laugh.

"Cooky, youre getting good at guessing. How di you know youre leaving me? Fuck, it wont be a
problem if youre not a sassy rich brat but... damn, fucking shit I wont reach up to your level."
That's when Taehyung started sobbing harshly, his words now muffled as his hands covered his
face as he cry.

Cooky reached up to brush Taehyung's tears away, but only to be turned down by Taehyung as he
say, "No! No I'm fine! You'll only make me fall deeper. Haha."

Taehyung continued with his rant, tears falling continuously as he wiggle around, and his rants
stopped when he felt something stirred beneath him.
 "Cooky? Is that your...? Why is it hard? You want me to ease it for you?" Drunk Taehyung
sheepishly asked, wriggling his ass more at the youngers hardened member.

He heard Jeongguk moan, damn that sounds good.The mere sound of Jeongguk's moan has
Taehyung's dick hard, and the next thing he knew, he was grinding his crotch hard on Jeongguk's,
and the room was soon filled with moans.

Chapter End Notes

is the pace too fast?

 Chapter 5
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

Taehyung’s sight is hazy, eyes particularly focused on Jeongguk’s face, hands roaming all over the
youngers body, feeling up all the muscles and firm flesh under the shirt, thoughts going blank as
his eyes rolled to the back of his head as per the sensation he’s feeling is extremely arousing.

His member is steel hard, a particular area in his grey slacks is now wet from him precum and that
area was soon to vanish from his sight as he grind his hips back and forth onto Jeongguk’s
hardened dick, lewd moans escaping both their of their lips.

Who would have though his pure innocent Cooky can moan? The thought of Cooky moaning
because of him makes his chest swell with pride. Fuck, he would do anything to make him feel
good. His moans are music to Taehyung’s ears, and that triggered him to grind harder, voice
turning high pitched as he let out a series of ‘uhh’ in every twist of his hips.

Taehyung’s clothes feel harsh over his sensitive throbbing flesh, every friction sends waves of
sensation into Taehyung’s spine, arching his back filthily as his moans get louder but this isn’t
enough.

The two males are sweating, chest rising up and down rhythmically as the need to be sated grew,
visible on the bulging tents on their crotch. Taehyung knows Jeongguk is not in his right mind,
meaning every moans and his erection are merely results of physical pleasure he is in, but neither
does Taehyung. So alcohol and lust driven Taehyung ceased his grinding hips until it completely
stopped.

He tugged the hem of Cooky’s shirt, lifting it up slowly, Taehyung’s eyes following every trail of
the skin revealed by the shirt, every crevice and ripped muscles didn’t go unnoticed. When
Taehyung successfully removed Cooky’s shirt, his libido increased at the sight in front of him,
muscular torso and lovely ripped abdomen on view, v-line evident that leads down to god knows
where, making him exhale a needy whimper, his dick is aching but his ass feels too itchy and
sensitive, in need of a throbbing flesh slamming in and out mercilessly.

He leaned down to kiss Cooky on the lips, and when their lips touched, damn Taehyung is drunk
but he’s fully aware of what is perfect and what feels right. Taehyung started moving his lips, he’s
an amateur at that cause believe it or not, he is a virgin.

He moved his lips sloppily, his tongue moving discreetly and the moans from Jeongguk ceased,
and that ticked Taehyung to move his mouth downwards, lips leaving butterfly kisses at the
porcelain skin, and oh, the smell, he loves Cooky’s natural scent.

His lips reached Jeongguk’s right nipple, his tongue kneading the bud harshly and when he had
enough, he stuck out his tongue and then started licking the breaks and valleys of Cooky’s
abdomen starting from his chest going down to his v-line, the latter’s dick brushing on his chest
and that’s when his hands found the garter of the sweatpants that Cooky is wearing.

Taehyung sat up straight, then he unbuttoned his uniform, hands shaking at the anticipation of the
pleasurable friction, then he removed his slacks and boxers, his ass lifting up from Cooky’s crotch
and the lack of contact has Taehyung whimpering. He is on his naked glory as he once again sit on
Cooky’s crotch, moaning at the friction of Cooky’s clothed dick to his bare ones.

Taehyung looked down to where he was sitting, Cooky’s length is obscenely visible as it is pushes
the soft fabric of his sweatpants. He then decided to sit on Cooky’s left thigh, grinding his dick on
the firm muscle as he pull Cooky’s sweatpants and boxers together, revealing Cooky’s throbbing
and swollen dick.

It is huge. Full length pointing upwards with its tip leaking. Taehyung is a virgin, he really is
physically. Well except for the seldom meat beating and fingers he gave himself when the arousal
from watching porn is too much to handle, and oh by that he knows Cooky’s cock is large for he
has seen a lot form all the gay porn he’s watching.
Taehyung licked his lips in anticipation as he dipped his head hurriedly and took in Cooky’s length
on his mouth, gagging and choking at the process. His hands wrapped around the base of Cooky’s
dick for he can’t take the length fully, stroking it gently, and in every flick of Taehyung’s wrist, his
mouth is going up and down, basically choking himself from the length as his mouth produce
sloppy sounds.

Cooky is moaning, hands on Taehyung’s hair guiding his head into a pace that has Taehyung’e
eyes watering for he is choking. He pulled the length from his mouth then he started licking the
length like it’s some kind of an ice cream. The tip looks so pretty Taehyung can’t help but kiss it
before running his tongue on the leaking slit, wiping all the remnants of precum that his tongue
missed. Cooky’s dick is damp from Taehyung’s saliva and clear of precum, and right then and
there he started pumping on the swollen flesh, his pace as fast as his grinds on the bed sheets.

Taehyung felt Cooky’s dick stiffened and that’s when he replaced his hands with his mouth, head
bobbing up and down fast. Cooky’s groans are more frequent, chest heaving in a violent manner
and there he comes, on Taehyung’s mouth, with the older swallowing all of his release.

Taehyung lifts his head up, sitting back again on Cooky’s thighs cause frankly speaking he has
some muscle kink, and Cooky’s thighs are the perfect epitome of what he’s imagined to be
grinding on.

Taehyung then proceeds to lay beside Cooky, his feet beside younger’s head, his legs widely
spread. He can feel Cooky’s gaze on his nakedness, eyes innocently staring, watching and
anticipating Taehyung’s every move. And the fact that he is being watched triggered Taehyung to
act more filthily, because hell Cooky won’t even understand what he is doing and there’ll be no
slut shaming consequences after. Cooky’s dick is half hard, but no, Taehyung isn’t sated yet.

“Cooky, sit up.” His voice came out as a whine, but he couldn’t care less. He’s delirious, both
because of his lust and drunkenness.
Cooky did as he was told, he sat up straight, instinctively placing himself between Taehyung’s
legs.

“Watch me, I want your eyes on me while I finger myself.”

Taehyung then proceeded to suck at his fingers, spitting his saliva purposely. He inserted one
finger on his ass, pushing in and out until four digits are deep down in him.

Cooky watched Taehyung, his eyes specifically focused on Taehyung’s stretched asshole, eyeing
the clenching flesh that follows the movement of Taehyungs fingers. Taehyung saw the intense
eyes that watched him as he finger himself. He’s feeling so hot, and the stares only aggravated his
lust. He’s feeling a little uncomfortable from his position despite the pleasure, and he’s crazy
enough to remove his fingers and sit up straight, taking Cooky’s hand the moment his ass is down
on the sheets.

“Cooky, finger me. I need your fingers deep down in me.” Taehyung said before guiding Cooky’s
finger inside his ass, and fuck the long and thick fingers is enough to send him to cloud nine. His
head tilted backwards as he pushed and pulled Cooky’s hand inside him, and soon he is on his
hands and knees, with Cooky pushing all his four digits on Taehyng’s ass as he was taught to do
so.

“Ahh, fuck Cooky, faster. Do it faster, please.” And faster does Cooky, Taehyung meeting his
every thrust.

The sensations are pleasureable, but the stimulation isn’t enough for him to come. Taehyung
turned to face Cooky, the latter’s dick is now once again hard and leaking. He push Cooky to lean
on the headboard as he straddle him, aligning his ass onto the swollen flesh. Taehyung then slid his
ass down, his walls clenching and fuck it hurts. He feels like his flesh is getting torn apart but the
pain was soon to be replaced with pleasure as he fully sat on Cooky’s dick, both males moaning at
the action.
Taehyung pull his ass up only to slam it back down brutally. The moans eliciting from the two
males are even louder, sounding lewd and obscene, chests panting aggressively. The sound of
Taehyungs ass cheeks slapping Cooky’s skin emanated as he sped up his pace, Cooky’s hand on
his hips, and surprisingly, Cooky is thrusting his hips up to meet those of Taehyung’s.

After rounds of thrusting, the series of moans was soon to be replaced by groans as both of the
males spurt release, Cooky inside Taehyung and Taehyung on their bare chest.

Taehyung pulled his ass, now completely sober and aware of the actions he’s done. His eyes brim
with tears, as he urged Cooky to lay on his back completely. He reached for Cooky’s shirt to wipe
off the cum off him and Cooky’s upper body, before tossing it beside those of his clothes.

He scooted next to Cooky, with his tears threatening to fall. He stared at his face that showed
tiredness, completely unaware of the sin Taehyung has done. Taehyung felt the tiredness down him
as well, extreme guilt and remorse etching in his gut as he whispered, “I’m sorry, Jeongguk. I love
you.”

His eyes closed and his tears fell as he turned around, his back facing Cooky. Tears fell endlessly
from his eyes as sleep lulled him into darkness. The arms that wrapped around him went unnoticed,
and the kiss on his temple left disregarded.

“I love you, too.”

�
The weight of Taehyung’s abrupt and drunken actions last night fell on his face the moment he
opened his eyes, body feeling sore all over and his head breaking itself into two. But as Taehyung
sat on his bed, eyes focused on the sleeping figure behind him, looking all innocent and angelic
and everything that Taehyung isn’t supposed to touch nor taint, he felt as if he’s committed a
heinous crime, which in fact he did.

What has he done? Inside Taehyung’s mind is a chaotic rumble of thoughts, his actions last night
repeatedly replaying in his head. His skin shivers for at every flashback he has from last night are
all dirty, guilt seeping on his system as tears edged in his eyes. He reached out to touch Cooky’s
hair, but his hands were caught up on air, his tears now starting to fall.

Slut. Whore. Hoe. You dirty piece of shit. You still dare to fucking touch him now, ey? No, you lost
all the right when you started grinding on him, dirty whore. You… you’re a criminal. Rapist.

Taehyung then started sobbing harshly, his hands covering his face as he cry. His throat is feeling
all tight as he struggle to keep his sobs silent, his tears falling on the blanket that covered his lower
body. Right, he’s naked, for he fucked someone and used him as if he is some kind of a sex toy.
The proximity between him and Jeongguk is too much to handle, his side near Jeongguk is burning
up in guilt. Damn, he can’t and he won’t ever forgive himself. His guilt won’t even let him stand
near Jeongguk, or even without the presence of guilt he won’t let himself near Jeongguk anymore,
he’s human enough to at least distant himself. Human, hah. Yeah.

Taehyung has always been so sensitive when he’s done something bad to Cooky. Sins are
supposed to be repented, and so Taehyung does. But this time, no matter how much he repent on
his sin, he can’t seem to find his remorse and guilt and regret enough to at least lessen how dirty
and how grieve his sin is. He wanted consequences, and he doesn’t think turning himself up in jail
will be enough. He needed forgiveness from Jeongguk. The ironic part is that the latter doesn’t
even know someone has done him bad.

With his tears still falling, he went out of bed. Seeing himself fully naked just made him feel
dirtier. Wow, he even has the gut to feel dirty when in fact he wasn’t the one raped. Hypocrite
bitch.
 His thoughts were killing him, every layer of his gut were covered with guilt, burning him
endlessly because apparently, his thought or maybe his conscience is only stating truth, the solid
and concrete fact that he is a rapist.

He scrubbed his skin so harshly, leaving it all red and there might be scratches that were too hard to
cause his blood to edge on his skin. He’s been scratching himself for the past 15 minutes, and as
exaggerating as it sounds he might have scrubbed off the first layer of his skin.

He was just standing there, under the shower with the warm water falling over him, hoping to at
least convince himself that he isn’t that dirty. What he did last night was making love, it isn’t all
about physical pleasure that drove him to do so, he loved Cooky. It isn’t fucking, it’s making love.
But, can it still be considered making love if he was the only one loving the latter, with his feeling
unrequited? No, it is fucking… it is rape.

A rustle from the door made him shook out of his thoughts, eyes directing at the door, his heart
clenching at the thought that it is Cooky. Ha, he is not supposed to look for me, his rapist. His tears
fell once again as he slipped out of the shower and dress himself. Sniffing as he slip inside his
sweatpants and a shirt, his sight blurry from the tears.

He opened the door and he knew Cooky is gonna pounce onto him, so he stepped back, the latter’s
arm left on air. Cooky attempted to hug him once more, hoping to smell the older’s hair, but no, all
his attempts were turned down. Hugging Taehyung has been Cooky’s routine the moment he
wakes up in the morning, especially when he’s left alone in bed.

Cooky’s naked form only spiked up Taehyung’s guilt, for he was the one who stripped him, to use
him for his self-satisfaction. Another batch of tears fell down his face, and Cooky’s eyes was quick
to notice that Taehyung is crying. He whimpered and reached for Taehyung’s cheeks to wipe off
the tears just as he used to do, but no. Taehyung slapped his hand away. His face scrunched up in
worry as his hands fell down in his side.
“Take a bath.”

Voice stone cold, face emotionless and wet with tears, Taehyung mutted the words, almost
shivering at the coldness of his own voice. Cooky’s shoulders lifts up from sulking as he hurried to
the bathroom, thinking that if he followed Taehyung then he will be able to touch him.

The days of taking care and babysitting Cooky actually taught the younger to do things on his own.
It’s not even babysitting anymore, it’s just casually living with Cooky. And Taehyung is thankful
for that especially in his situation right now that he can’t bring himself to touch him.

Taehyung is in the kitchen, cooking breakfast. Now it isn’t only his body that is sore, even his eyes
is red and puffy. He’s quick to finish his cooking and he ate his breakfast in rush for he’s afraid he
might not be able to swallow his food if he eat with Cooky. No, it’s not Cooky. It’s Jeongguk to
him now.

Taehyung saw Jeongguk walking to him, now fully clothed and face hopeful. He reached both of
his arms towards Taehyung, but Taehyung only stepped back.

“Eat.”

Jeongguk stopped in his attempt to reach for Taehyung once more, eyes directing to the food and
back at Taehyung. He slowly walked towards the food and sat down. He started eating, eyes
following Taehyung’s every move. He saw Taehyung fish out his phone from his pocket and walk
towards the living room, his phone on his ears.

Taehyung sat on the sofa, making sure Jeongguk won’t hear what he’ll be talking about. For all he
know Jeongguk can actually understand what he’s saying, and it’ll only make it hard for Taehyung
if he were to stop him from giving him in.
He dialled the number he’s got from the flier, his heart breaking at every ring and his heart
completely stopped when the person on the other line picked up.

“Hello?” A woman’s voice answered. Taehyung swallowed the lump in his throat as he spoke.

“Hello, Mrs. Jeon? I’m Kim Taehyung.”

A short pause, a moment to collect himself and have the courage to talk.

“I see you’ve been looking for Jeongguk?”

Taehyung has to fight back the imminent cracking is his voice, but he can only fight up to that
extent. His tears is a whole different situation. It’s rolling down on his cheeks slowly, his sight
once again blurry.

“Yes, yes hun. Do you have any leads to where he is? We’ve been looking for him for almost a
month now.”

The worry from the woman’s voice somehow convinced Taehyung that he’s doing the right thing,
even when his heart is breaking.
“Maam, I actually kept him for the past weeks. I saw him outside my apartment and he’s not
talking, so I just decided to keep him for the short time. I’ve been meaning to turn him back in,
but…”

Taehyung can’t continue what he’s supposed to say. What? Should he tell her that he wanted him
for himself? That he loves him and he doesn’t want to be away from him? That he’s selfish enough
to think that he can have him forever? No, no he cant.

“Oh, thank God. Thank God someone found him. Mr. Kim Taehyung? Let’s talk about it
personally.”

The woman’s voice sounds like she was crying, and Taehyung somehow find himself somewhat
relieved for he is doing something good both for Jeongguk and his family.

Taehyung sent Jeongguk’s photo, as well as his address. But it was the reply that has him caught
off guard.

Thank you, Mr. Kim Taehyung. I really am grateful that you were the one who found my son. I
know he’s in good hands. You can ask for a favour, anything. Take it as form of my
gratefulness.

Taehyung stared at his phone’s screen, silently mocking himself for he knows Jeongguk isn’t in
good hands, not with Taehyung. Right then and there he’s built up his mind, he knew what favour
he is going to ask the lady.

It’s nothing ma’am. And as for the favour, ma’am, I request for you to don’t let Jeongguk know
about me when he’s treated. I don’t want him to remember anything that involves me. I ask this
of you ma’am.
I don’t understand why you ask of this but if that’s what you want, then I will. Thank you again,
Mr. Kim Taehyung.

The exchange of messages only had Taehyung swimming in regret. He is so stupid thinking he
can’t reach up to Jeongguk’s level, when all this time he could’ve just wished for him to see
Jeongguk, to spend time with him while he is with his family. He think so lowly of Jeongguk’s
family thinking they were like those rich families that belittle his class, when in fact, they were the
most formal and respecting people he’s ever talked to.

If only he didn’t let his self-pity drown him, he wouldn’t have resorted to alcohol. If only he was
human enough, he wouldn’t have done what he did to Jeongguk. A lot of if onlys flooded through
Taehyung’s mind.

He was so lost in his thoughts and he didn’t saw Jeongguk coming over to him, hugging him in an
instant. Taehyung jumped off from his seat when he realized Jeongguk has hugged him, the skin
touching those of Jeongguk’s burned him, emotionally.

“Jeongguk, no!” Taehyung removed the arms that wrapped around him, abruptly standing up as he
face Jeongguk who’s left sitting on the couch.

“You are not supposed to touch me. You hear me? Don’t, don’t ever touch me again.” Taehyung
said as he marched toward the kitchen, picking up Jeongguk’s plate and bringing it over to the sink.

Damn, he missed the touch. It’s only been hours since he last touched Jeongguk so freely, and now
a lot happened and he can’t dare to even lay a finger on him. But the hug felt so warm, so
comfortable yet so illicit. Taehyung doesn’t know where is tears are coming from, how come they
can still fall? He’s been crying the moment he woke up, and yet they’re still falling up to now.

He can hear Jeongguk’s footsteps, and he knows that the he is gonna insist on touching Taehyung.
He turned around only to be faced with a desperate looking Jeongguk.

“Jeongguk… Jeongguk no! Jeongguk stop!” But to no avail, Jeongguk has pulled him by his nape
and the next thing he knew, he was buried deep on Jeongguk’s chest, sobbing harshly.

He tried to wriggle around, hoping in freeing himself from the hug because no, he doesn’t deserve
it. But the arms that held him are too strong, and soon he felt himself melt from the touch.

Jeongguk pulled away, only to brush off the tears that’s running down on Taehyung’s cheeks.
Taehyung took that as an opportunity to break off the touch, hands grabbing a plate from the sink
and raising it up to the air.

“Stay away!” Taehyung shouted as he stared desperately at Jeongguk, the latter’s eyes focused on
the plate, and when it directed to Taehyung, confusion and tears welled up as he blink.

Jeongguk stepped forward, only to be stopped on his tracks when Taehyung crashed the plate and
picked up a fragment slitting his palm.

Taehyung had enough of hitting Jeongguk, so he won’t resort to violence anymore. Slitting his own
palm kind of has Taehyung hoping that the emotional pain he is feeling can be lessened through
physical pain. Taehyung saw Jeongguk stunned, eyes directed at the blood coming out from
Taehyung’s palm. But he only stood still for a second. Soon worry filled his eyes as he took steps
towards Taehyung.
“NO! DON’T COME NEAR ME. STOP!” Taehyung shouted deliriously and Jeongguk did
stopped.

Both males attention was turned into the door when they heard a knock, and Taehyung knew the
time has come. Jeongguk has to leave.

He wiped off his tears and clutched his palm as he opened the door. There stood an elegant looking
lady and an intimidating man. Taehyung immediately bowed, showing his respect to the older
couple.

He stared right at the woman’s eyes and they both nodded. They’ve talked about it over the phone
that as soon as they get in here, they were just supposed to take Jeongguk and leave, for Taehyung
can’t handle the heart breaking moment of saying goodbye. Or he can, it’s just that he doesn’t
deserve it. Separation is more painful when you didn’t have the chance to say goodbye.

Mrs. Jeon walked over to Jeongguk, the woman immediately bursting out in tears as he held
Jeongguk’s cheeks. Jeongguk only gave her a confused look as he looked at Taehyung and walked
over him.

Taehyung immediately stepped back, not wanting to be touched for he might change his mind
about giving Jeongguk off. Mrs. Jeon reached for Jeongguk once more only to be ignored as
Jeongguk kept on reaching out for Taehyung.

“Jeongguk, no.” His voice come out as a whisper, but enough for Jeongguk to hear.
Mr. Jeon nodded to his right as a few men entered, two of them instantly holding both of
Jeongguk’s arms. Taehyung knew Cooky would fight, so he informed the woman beforehand to
bring body guards.

Jeongguk looked at his arms, and struggled to free himself. The men then started walking out of
Taehyung’s apartment, dragging Jeongguk with them. Jeongguk isn’t fighting back as long as he
can see Taehyung, but when they reached the door, Jeongguk’s back facing Taehyung, that’s when
Jeongguk started acting on rampage.

Jeongguk kicked one of the men and punched the other one when his arms were freed. The two
men fell as Jeongguk rushed over to Taehyung’s side, only to be stopped by another pair of arms
locking his arms once more. But Jeongguk is bulky, and he’s strong enough to free himself from
the touch and throw punches to whoever was restraining him from getting to Taehuyung.

Jeongguk is on full rampage, kicking throwing out punches, when the guards decided to fight back.
It is inevitable. One punch on his gut and Jeongguk was reeling in pain, and there Taehyung felt
the need to interfere. Mrs. Jeon gasped at the sight of his son getting hurt. But she knows its for the
best.

“No!” Taehyung shouted when one of the guards raised his fist on air, aiming to punch Jeongguk
once more. He rushed to Jeongguk with his tears falling.

“Cooky,” Jeongguk’s face lit up at the familiar nickname that he’s been called, his hopes getting
high thinking that Taehyung isn’t gonna let these men take him. But no, Taehyung isn’t aiming for
that.

“Cooky, listen.” A series of breathes, “You… you’re gonna come with them right? Taehyungie
will be sad if you wont. Hm? You’ll be good, don’t worry. Please?”
Taehyung said, arms wrapped around Jeongguk as he whisper on his ears. He felt Cooky’s body
relaxed. He then pulled out from the hug, taking Jeongguk’s hand as they walk sideways, out of his
apartment. Jeongguk’s parents and guards following them.

“With them you’ll get treated. You’ll be able to talk, and probably remember everything. You’ll
remember your friends, your hobbies, everything. Don’t you want that?”

Taehyung had to fight back the urge of saying “You’ll forget about me. There’ll be no Taehyung
around. You’ll be safe, but alongside with you being safe is me being broken.”

The lump in his throat is getting bigger and bigger but no he can’t cry, not in front of Cooky. He
forced a fake smile as he faced Cooky, they particularly reached a black van and Taehyung knows
it is Jeongguk’s parents’, he paced his hand on Cooky’s head, and smiled.

“I’ll follow you, hm? Wait for me, okay?”

Taehyung didn’t want to give Jeongguk that false hope, but he has to. For all he know once
Jeongguk get treated he will probably forget everything about Taehyung, but he won’t leave right
now, not without Taehyung.

Taehyung then stepped back from Jeongguk, head nodding in the body guards and the body guards
went to restrain Jeongguk once again. He then started running towards his apartment, closing and
locking the door once he entered. He can hear Jeongguk whimpering from afar, and that broke
Taehyung’s heart. He stood there by his door, listening, until loud running footsteps came and then
someone is scratching at his door, whimpering as if begging for Taehyung to open it.

The tears that Taehyung’s been preventing once again fell, how many times does he have to cry for
this? Probably, a lot. The whimpers from outside the door continues. Taehyung’s heart is up to
opening the door and hug Jeongguk, comfort him and assure him that he won’t ever leave him, but
he can’t. He has his own family and Taehyung’s too guilty for the things he has done.

His legs turned wobbly as he slump on the floor, facing the door. He started hearing sobs, and the
thought of Jeongguk crying has Taehyung swell up in tears as well.

“Cooky…” Taehyung said, and he felt his door shake just a little, indication that Jeongguk can hear
him and that he’s listening.

“Cooky, go with them. Don’t make this hard for me.”

Taehyung sobbed, suddenly breathing is too hard for him to do.

“I love you, Cooky. I’ll come find you when I overcome this guilt of mine and when you’re in
position to give me your forgiveness. But I love you, I really do. I hope you went forget that.”

The two males sobbed, both hearts are broken from the separation, but it is what’s best for the both
of them.

“Goodbye, Cooky. I love you.”

Taehyung heard footsteps heading to his apartment door and soon, the footsteps were walking
away and the sound of an engine roared. Taehyung leaned over the door, tears still falling. His
phone beeped, and the message says:
 Thank you, Taehyung.

Taehyung smiled, heart still breaking but content.

Taehyung’s fascination of fleeting objects as evident in his photos seem to fit his situation right
now. He loves capturing moments, before it can become history. Funny that he seem to capture
Jeongguk and yet he still passed and left; now only a memory for Taehyung to reminisce.

In that instant Jeongguk is gone, his heart is broken and he’s alone. Taehyung now has to learn to
teach himself to live alone, like he used to, like he always did. So much for having a family.

Chapter End Notes

dumb and dumber istg if ever one of yall is reading this im-
 Chapter 6
Chapter Notes

See the end of the chapter for notes

The past days of Taehyung being alone only made him gloomy, almost depressed. Everything in
his apartment screams Jeongguk. Every inch and corner of all his belongings are etched with
Jeongguk’s memory, the cuddles, dinners. Every normal life routine that he once did with Jeongguk
is now too hard for Taehyung to do, alone.

He miss Jeongguk so much. There was this one time where he was awoken from his sleep, his
hands naturally searching for Jeongguk for a warm cuddle, but no, he felt nothing. Jeongguk is not
there. Those were the times where Taehyung would start his morning crying, all curled up by
himself and he would just tear up more when he thought of Jeongguk brushing his tears away.
Even his tears reminded him of Jeongguk. Apparently, it isn’t only in that particular time in the
morning wherein he’s missing Jeongguk so much. At night, he finds it in himself hard to sleep
without Jeongguk. Every hour of Taehyung’s life were spent with him missing Jeongguk and his
tears would just flow until its’ too hard for him to breathe.

Luckily, he has Jimin. Jimin was there when he wanted to get wasted, the older listening to his
rants and drinking alcohol with him. Jimin just lets him naturally open up to him, nodding along
and listening intently in his every drunken rants. No questions were asked to him, and that is the
kind of comfort and support that Taehyung needed the most. Sometimes he would sleep over at
Jimin’s when the pain is unbearable from missing Jeongguk too much. He would cry himself to
sleep with a soft hands stroking his hair and a soft voice whispering to him that everything will be
okay.

Taehyung continued his life despite being broken. Apparently, Mrs. Jeon heard that he was
studying at one of their schools, and there she made him a full scholar, which he already is, but
with no maintaining grade. Mrs. Jeon even paid for his 2 year worth rent. She’s even willing to buy
it for Taehyung but he refused. It’s too much, and he kept Jeongguk willingly. It’s not like
Jeoongguk was a burden for him to accept those sort of payments, and Mrs. Jeon understood that.
She’s the most generous and respectable person Taehyung has ever met.

He continued working and studying at the same time. The first couple of weeks without Jeongguk
was torture. Sometimes when he was rushing home from work, the thought of Cooky eagerly
waiting for him would cause him to feel giddy and excited but as he pass through the blocks on the
way home, he would realize that there’s really no Cooky waiting for him, and he’ll only feel more
miserable. But monts passed and he somehow manage to cope up.

He is currently in front of his laptop and its past lunch time, doing some sort of layouts and designs
for his final requirement when he heard a knock from his door. He lifts his eyes up from the screen
and look over at the door.

“Come in, it’s open!” He knew it was Jimin.

It’s been one and a half year ever since Jeongguk left, and Taehyung is somewhat healed, though
he still miss Jeongguk cause apparently, his heart healed but the feelings stayed. Well the feelings
that stayed involves guilt, regret and of course, love. Sometimes he would think that the first time
he knew of Jeongguk’s name was the same time it downed on him that Jeongguk wasn’t his.

“Sup, bud.” Jimin sits down next to him and peeks at his laptop’s screen, earning a soft punch in
his shoulder.

“You’re really good at this stuff, huh?” Jimin cooed. Jimin has always been so enthusiastic about
Taehyung’s works. Taehyung doesn’t know if he’s really good or it is because they’re friends.

“Piss off, Jimin.” Taehyung gave off a smug look knowing he would get a reaction from Jimin.

“Yah! Just say thank you, you punk.”

And that’s just the reaction Taehyung expected. He’s really gotten along with Jimin. Times like
this where they’ll just sit together and do their own business, occasionally talking, it’s just…
comfortable. You get to do your business with a company.

“Is Jihoon still hitting on you?”

For the past one and a half year Jihoon never failed to send hints and flirty remarks at Taehyung.
But Taehyung can only offer friendship, and Jihoon’s fine with that. So they settled with being
friends but Jihoon’s some kind of a consistent ‘suitor’ and Taehyung just let him be.

“Yeah, he asked me to be his date for this sort of college party or something. What do I do hyung?
Should I come? I mean, we’re friends. It would be too insensitive of me to turn him down just
because he…likes me? I don’t know.”

Taehyung frowns as he looks up from his laptop and looks at Jimin, the older basically smiling like
an idiot in front of his phone.

Jimin has been like this ever since they went into some sort of high end club to have Taehyung
wasted. It is in the first weeks of Jeongguk leaving that it happened. Taehyung can’t sleep and so
does Jimin, so they just decided to try some clubs to loosen up.

He slowly peep his head to see Jimin’s phone and what he saw made him choke on his own saliva.

“PARK JIMIN DID YOU JUST SENT YOUR NUDES TO THIS… THIS AGUSTDADDY
CONTACT OF YOURS?”
Taehyung shouted as he stood up from his sit and placed both of his arms on his waist, the
particular post if you were to scold someone.

Well who wouldn’t shout. You just witness your best friend sending nudes in actual. It doesn’t
only gross the hell out of Taehyung, he is utterly shocked.

“I… I can explain?” Jimin hesitantly retaliate, smile as fake as fuck.

“THEN SPILL! RIGHT.NOW.”

“Okay, okay calm down. You see…” Jimin searched for the right words to say, looking all agitated
but soon his face turned serious as he spat, “I’m older than you.” Jimin’s hopeful to at least calm
Taehyung down, but no. It only triggerred the younger more.

“DO I LOOK LIKE I CAN EVEN BE BOTHERED BY THAT NOW?”

Taehyung’s literally fuming mad. Like, who would’ve thought Jimin would send his nudes, well
not really nudes. What he saw is a photo of Jimin, half naked with his neck and choker and tongue
on focused, it looks like Jimin is showing off his tongue, mouth opened in a lewd manner,
technically speaking it’s not nude. His chest is barely showing. But still, that’s obscene. Even the
contact’s name is kinky.

“Uh, no? Alright, alright I’ll spill.” Jimin took in a 2 minute worth of breathes then sighed. “He’s
my… sugar daddy.” Jimin starts, voice careful, trying to somewhat make the situation…good?
“WHAT DO-“ Nope, it didn’t work. Taehyung’s eyeballs look like they’re ready to fall off, Jimin
raising his hands in a defensive stance.

“Let me finish up first! Chill, okay?”

Jimin’s hands are still on air, slowly putting both down as Taehyung calm himself.

“Okay, okay continue.”

“Remember when we went to this high end club and the bills on me? Dude, our bill went up to
$700 and I’m broke. I was having an internal turmoil as I looked at our bill when this pale and
really cool but grumpy man approached me and yeah, he paid for the bill.”

“But hey, really? $700? Are they for real?”

Jimin looks up to see Taehyung’s reaction and seeing that the younger is a bit calmed down, he
continues.

“So I was too embarrassed or something cause bro, did he just pay for my bills when he barely
even know me?”

Jimin then urges Taehyung to sit down. The younger is taller than him and now he’s standing,
basically towering over him and that made Jimin fell a little more smaller.
“So you know, I need to at least show that I’m grateful. Hell I didn’t even complain when he paid
for the bills I’m not a hypocrite. So yeah, I asked him I would make it up to him and oh god the
guys a dish I forgot to mention. So maybe I stuttered a little? Okay who am I fooling, I stuttered a
lot.”

Jimin’s expression as he spoke is somewhat made up of a dreamy eyes and a small smile on his
lips, making him look like he’s day dreaming but apparently… yes he is, except for what he is
telling is real.

“So I went like, ‘U-uhm, its so nice of y-you to pay for out bills but m-mister? Should I atleast m-
make it up to you?’ and bro I almost took back what I said remembering the bill he’s paid for us
but meh, this guy’s cute I gotta make a move.” Jimin narrates comically, his voice somewhat giddy
and Taehyung can tell this guy is whipped.

“And Tae, you know what he told me? He said ‘It’s fine, pretty boy.’ Like? Did he just called me
pretty boy? Bro that’s something else. He’s gay! So yeah I said ‘no, I insist.’ And then he said
‘okay, want to be my pretty boy then?’ and I know I’m drunk but I know full well how to refuse an
offer but who would?”

Taehyung’s brows shot up from what he’s heard. Jimin could’ve just thanked the guy because he
didn’t want any pay backs for his generosity and yet, Jimin has to insist? It’s not like doing the guy
a favour would be a bad thing, in fact any normal person would do that. But really? ‘My pretty
boy’?

“Okay, all that you’ve told me is that you’re a hoe.” It might sound like a low blow but their
relationship is up to this extent, they’re occasionally dissing each other without getting pissed.

“Hey! It’s not like that. I mean, it’s not really like a sugar daddy and baby boy relationship. You
know we don’t do sex and stuffs. I just send my you know… pictures and no he doesn’t pay me for
it. He sometimes send his’ too and do you get what I mean?”
“So, you guys are basically flirting?” Taehyung asks, confused.

That’s when Jimin’s reaction turned blue.

“I don’t know, were not really flirting. I implied hints that I like him and yet he just turned them
down. Were just… fooling around? I don’t know. Maybe he just needed something to jerk off to.”
Jimin looked down, probably feeling too embarrassed because he’s somewhat happy and all giddy
with someone who doesn’t even take him seriously, for someone who only cared about his body.

“Oh, Jimin its fine. Maybe you should try ceasing the conversation until it stops? I mean, if this is
hurting you then just stop.” Taehyung’s more eager and attentive on listening to Jimin, his eyes
flashed with worry.

“No, no, its fine. It’s just that I really like him, but not up to the point that it is hurting me. Im
just… disappointed.” Jimin smiles curtly and Taehyung knows he’s telling the truth.

“Just don’t let yourself get hurt because of this okay?” Taehyung says as he pull Jimin for a
cuddle, the older immediately scooting closer to him because they’re both a pair of softies and a
cuddle is a big yes for them.

“Yes hyung.” Jimin answers playfully. It is rare for Taehyung to be this mature because he’s a
whole piece of an extra dork, well not really. Sometimes he’s bubbly but sometimes he’s not
considering he still have this piece of him broken.
The comfortable silence soon followed, both males relaxing at the warm cuddle. But the comfort
didn’t last when Taehyung’s phone rang. Taehyung peeked over the screen to see who it is, turns
out it was Jihoon.

Taehyung answered the call. It was about the party later. Jihoon’s persistent on asking Taehyung,
but Taehyung isn’t sure about it because he’s feeling a little off about it, or maybe he’s just a little
too sensitive that what he gave Jihoon as an answer is an ‘I’ll think about it.’

“So, what about Jihoon?” Jimin asks. “He invited you? You should go, I think? I mean you’re
friends, so nothing’s wrong. Well except for he’s been casually hitting on you but all is good
nevertheless.”

“You think so? I don’t know but I’m feeling a little bit off about it but nah I’ll text him then.”
Taehyung pulled out from the cuddle, fingers tapping on his phone.

Taehyung

hey, i thought of it and I think im going?

Taehyung’s a bit hesistant. Well he enjoy the comforts of his bed so much but it isn’t like Jihoon’s
a nobody to him. Also he’s really feeling that something is off, something in his instincts is telling
him not to go. But he just shrugged his thoughts off and pressed send.

Jihoon

great! ill pick you up at seven

Taehyung

sure
And Taehyung’s date tonight is set.

Jimin stayed at his apartment up until five with Taehyung still working on his requirements.
Taehyung’s thankful for the internet and technology beacause now he doesn’t have to go all the
way to his college just to have his work checked. He just sent his psd files and layouts to his
professor through email and by the time he closed his laptop, it’s time for him to prepare for the
party with Jihoon.

He took a bath and dressed himself. He wore a tight fitting skinny jeans and a black semi fitted v-
neck shirt. To be honest Taehyung is not fond of wearing such clothes. He prefer oversized
sweaters and everything that’s made up of soft fabric. But well, it’s a college party and not a
slumber so he has no choice but to wear such clothes.

He looked at himself at the mirror and decided to put on a little make up, just to enhance his eyes
and define the slopes of his face, and oh, a choker would be the finishing touch.

Jihoon’s knocking at his door by seven pm and by seven quarter they’re at the venue.

They arrived at a house, the speakers boozing some electronic music and Taehyung can hear it as
he get out of Jihoon’s car after they parked. These is the kind of parties that Taehyung hates. No it
isn’t about the music and alchohol, he’s a normal adult of course he likes those, it is the kind of
people that are in such parties. Considering Jihoon’s friends they are kind of… out of the lane.

“Let’s go?” Jihoon asked as he take Taehyung’s hand. Taehyung is a bit uncomfortable but he just
let him be. “By the way, you look amazing tonight.” Taehyung smiled, yes he appreciated the
compliment but he can’t bring himself to praise the latter, he didn’t want to give false hopes.
He might be locking himself out of Jihoon too much but for almost a year of being friends with
Jihoon he knew full well that Jihoon’s the type to take every compliment as a flirty remark.

They went inside walking sideways, the speakers even more loud and the lights are mix of purples
and reds and greens. Eyesore. There are familiar faces and Taehyung would give off a nod or a curt
smile at every greeting, he’s a social person, but the situation just makes him uncomfortable.
Except for the eyesore of lights, the smell that is mix of sweat, alcohol and weeds are just
suffocating, well he’s in no mood for a party right now so even the party basics are annoying him.

The venue is a two storey house, the whole first floor was the party ground and there are people
upstairs, some making out and others probably locked out in one of the rooms. Typical party.

They trailed their way inside, grabbing their own drinks and talking with some schoolmates
Taehyung’s a bit loosened up. He drank a few shots but he can’t let himself get drunk. So a little
beer, yes beer, is enough.

Taehyung is watching the people on the dance floor, jumping and swaying through the music. He
likes how carefree they look, how everyone seems to be free and only the fun registers to their
system.

“You want to dance?” Jihoon asked, hands offered for Taehyung to take.

Well, Taehyung’s been thinking of dancing once he finish his cup of beer. He put down his cup and
took Jihoon’s hands, earning a smile from the latter. They trailed their way to the dancefloor and
once they’re in the middle, Taehyung let his body take control of his actions.

The speakers were boosting this lively electronic music, the beat so alive Taehyung can only jump
as he occasionally sway his hips. It is fun. He raised his hands on air as he closed his eyes, taking
in the beat and rhythm, smile forming in his lips. But the smile vanished when he felt Jihoon
touching his waist and grinding behind him.

“What do you think you’re doing?” He quickly pulled back facing Jihoon, shouting the words for
his voice is inaudible because of the loud speakers.

“Im sorry I didn’t mean to.” Jihoon shouted back. “I got carried away.”

Taehyung dismisses what Jihoon did and just said, “Let’s just sit down.”

Taehyung walked out of the dance floor with Jihoon trailing behind him. He’s a bit upset. He is not
all up against dancing but grinding is too much. Jihoon’s a bit tipsy and Taehyung just shrugged
the action, blaming it onto the alcohol.

Jihoon happen to see his circle of friends while they were trailing their way out of the dancefloor.
They invited both of them over and now, they are seated on the living room, with Jihoon beside
him. The younger has been drinking a lot. Taehyung’s been offered a drink but no, he’s had
enough, call him a kill joy or whatever. He only let himself get drunk with Jimin because the first
time he was drunk, he did something horrible, and Jimin is the only one who can calm a drunk
Taehyung.

Jihoon has introduced him to his circle of friends. They’re nice Taehyung must say, unlike what he
expected them to be. Well they’re the type who skip class and fail subjects but they’re fun to be
with. School doesn’t really matter to them since they’re born with golden spoon on their mouths,
job’s already waiting for them, no need to do good because they’ve already won the sort of job
finding competition.

“So Taehyung, I heard you’re a photography major?” One of Jihoon’s girl friend asked, flashing
her eyelash and leaning in a bit, showing off her cleavage.

“Yeah, taking photo’s fascinates me.” Taehyung replied, not really bothered by the exposed skin
because he is gay as a rainbow.

“Really? I would love to have a boyfriend like you for my IG feed!” The girl squeaked and
Taehyung forces himself not to roll his eyes.

Well this girls flirting skill isn’t sleek, and for fucks sake really? A boyfriend for your IG feed? He
would’ve come off with batteries and tripods if he were to just be a human camera. Not that he’s
considering because what he wants is those of a male’s.

“Uh really? Thanks.” Taehyung awkwardly replied. He’s fighting himself to answer sarcastically,
and he fought well.

They were having this really fun conversation when Jihoon started rubbing circles on his back, the
younger’s nose sniffing on his neck. The action didn’t go unnoticed by Jihoon’s friends earning a
series of coos and teases about how they are such a ‘couple’. Taehyung shut the coos by saying
“No, no were not a couple. He’s just drunk.”

Taehyung then stood up, taking Jihoon’s arm in the process and muttered goodbyes but Jihoon’s
friends won’t let him go without taking a shot.

“Alright, alright just one.” Taehyung took the shot glass offered to him and downed it in one go.
The alcohol dripped through his throat rather more harshly than it should, his sight going hazy in
an instant and he is feeling lightheaded. “We’ll get going then.”
Taehyung tugged Jihoon along with him, both males walking on a zigzag. They barely made it to
the door and that’s when Taehyung decided to just leave Jihoon at one of the rooms upstairs. He
can walk but not with a drunk Jihoon. He’s tipsy but he can manage. Damn, they must have added
something to the drink considering he is this dizzy.

With his arms wrapped around Jihoon, they made their way to the stairs, Jihoon still nuzzling his
nose onto Taehyung’s neck. Taehyung cranes his neck towards Jihoon so the latter wont have
access to his neck anymore. They both struggle to go upstairs but after a few stumbles they finally
managed to do so. They paved the hall, opening wuite a few rooms they shouldn’t have, and when
they finally found an empty one they entered. He led Jihoon onto the bed, urging him to lay on his
back but the latter clung on him, causing him to fall on top of Jihoon.

“Aish, stay still.” Taehyung then stood up, fixing his shirt. His head is a little lighter this time, his
sight is unfocused, his surrounding spinning. He was caught in surprise when Jihoon sat up and
hugged his waist, but what shook him was the warm and sticky substance on his tummy and the
sound of Jihoon gagging. Great, he vomited on Taehyung.

Both their tops are drenched with vomit. Taehyung decided to take off Jihoon’s shirt, the younger’s
head bouncing from one side to another. Once he did, he let Jihoon lay properly on the bed and
now he got this one problem, his shirt.

He decided to just brush off the substance, he went to the bathroom and grabbed some wet towel
and rubbed it on his soaked shirt but as he look down, his body followed, his face almost hitting on
the floor, thank God he placed his hand as a support or else he would have to deal with a broken
nose.

He stands up and he didn’t expect his sight to be spinning this fast. Great, one shot and he’s drunk.
He’s drugged probably. He made his way out of the bathroom, his walks are slow and unstable. He
was supposed to take a cab to go home but he doesn’t think he can with his situation right now.
He barely made it to the bed and by the time he did, he just let himself flop at the mattress. His wet
shirt is a bit uncomfortable so he took it off and dozed off to sleep.

But hey, someone has been taking photos of Taehyung ever since he arrived at the party.

Taehyung woke up to his phone ringing, a particular jibooty contact displayed on his phone. His
head is killing him just like he expected.

“Where are you?” Jimin’s stern voice welcomed him as he answer the call and that’s when
Taehyung realized he isn’t at home. He was on a bed with Jihoon, both half naked.

Taehyung was aware of his actions last night and so he didn’t freak out. He told Jimin where he is
and now he’s waiting for the older to get where he is and fetch him.

He got up from bed, his head splitting into two, and fetched his shirt. It’s a bit damp and it smells
nasty but he couldn’t care less. Once he’s dressed up, he wentout of the room and made his way
out of the house. The whole house looks like a mess, red cups and chips everywhere, even the floor
is sticky. There are sleeping figures everywhere. Gross.

He left Jihoon upstairs. His shirt is stinking but he couldn’t care less, his head is killing him and all
he wants to do is go home, eat Jimin’s soup and lay on his bed.

Jimin came 5 minutes later and he earned a knock on his head and a pinch on his ears for getting
drunk and staying out without telling him. It feels nice actually, to have someone to worry after you
and stuff. His platonic relationship with Jimin is the kind that would hurt him just as much
romantic relationships do, but he’s certain Jimin is not leaving him.

When they arrived at Taehyung’s apartment, Jimin went straight to the kitchen as Taehyung went
to grab a shirt and a sweatpants, bringing his laptop with him all the way to the living room. He
will check if his professor has replied to his email.

He opened his laptop and went to mails but what caught his eye isn’t his professor’s reply but
another email. His head is running with so many thoughts as he wait for the mail to load and once
it did, he cant help but read wide-eyed as he feel all giddy and thrilled.

BigHit Entertainment

to me

mm/dd/yy View details

Hello Mr. Kim,

We are writing this email to you for an invitation to do a freelance photography session with you.
We would like to have you photograph the debut photos for the idols we are promoting, if possible
maybe we could talk it over a contract. We’ve been notified that your photography style is that of
which fits the concept we are working on.

Email us back if you were considering working with us. Good day and thank you.

BigHit Entertainment
Taehyung screamed in delight as he finished reading the email, fist punching on air and hips
swaying joyfully as he danced his way to the kitchen.

“Jiminieee” Taehyung went up to Jimin and grabbed both his hands as he dance him with his
annoying choreography.

“Okay, okay what’s happening.” Jimin asked as Taehyung twirl himself, his hang over long
forgotten.

“I just got my first real work as a photographer!” Taehyung retaliate as he explains what he read
and showing Jimin the email he got even after narrating it thrice.

Well Taehyung’s reaction is just normal. Imagine working for a restaurant for 1 and a half year
when you can just do freelance photography but fate mustn’t have been in his favour because the
one time he tried he ended up being scammed. The ‘client’ bailing out on Taehyung when they
were supposed to meet because hell he is not after Taehyung’s photos but Taehyung himself. He
was trying to make his way on Taehyung and flirt it out with him but he realized his ‘strategy’ isn’t
appropriate. Taehyung was too scared to try since then because he got his hopes too high only to be
stood up, and the man was turned down.

BigHit Entertainment is a company that produces idols and all their idols were of hit. Taehyung is
certain it is not a scam considering the formality and the mention of a contract assures him.

He emailed back with both Jimin and him squealing as Taehyung composes his reply, giggling at
every word. It took a whole thirty minutes for Taehyung to press reply. He types then deletes and
that cycle repeated because Taehyung wanted to sound too professional.
That night he reviewed his books about angles and how to make photos cinematic. Damn he is
very excited. He even binge watched youtube tutorials and stuffs for he want everything to go as
planned, professional and chic. He was supposed to have a drink with Jimin but they both think
they shouldn’t because Taehyung might get drunk and tomorrow’s his big day so no. The company
replied back that tomorrow would be the contract signing and his first day of work. They settled
with a celebratory drink after Taehyung finished his work.

The next day Taehyung wakes up early, preparing all his cameras and charging batteries. He ate an
ample amount of breakfast. He took a day off from work and Seokjin readily agree with him when
he said his reason why. Having Seokjin as the resaturants manager is a big favour for Taehyung
because his work wont be too much of a burden for his freelance photography. As for his school,
he just sent his final requirement and he’s just waiting to graduate. Everything is at perfect timing.

He left his home with a goodluck from Jimin. He is currently riding a taxi. He looks at his watch
and it says 7:15 am. His contract signing is at eight and he’s just on time. He sat nervously on his
seat as he wait for the taxi to pave its way to his destination and by 7:45 he’s standing in front of
BigHits building.

Staffs accompanied him to where he is supposed to sight his contract. As they walk inside, the
interiors of the building is just like those of a normal entertainment building, nothing more. The
lobby, the halls and everything screamed neutral and normal. Taehyung would be glad to be
working in here because he can sense the upcoming bloom of this company, maybe not now but
soon.

The staff led him to a conference room, a long oval table in the middle and a line of swivel chairs
were perched inside. At the very start of the table sat a plus sized man, his eyes rounded and small,
nose huge and mouth thin. He looks way older than Taehyung though he’s kind of cute, not the
cute that makes you go all flirty but the cute that makes you go soft.

“Ayo. Hitman Bang introduces contract signing.” Taehyung doesn’t know if he should laugh at the
way Mr. Banh Si Hyuk, BigHit’s CEO introduced himself but he just took the hands offered and
shook it a bit.
“Good Morning Mr. Bang Si Hyuk.” Taehyung said as he shook the older’s hand, nodding curtly.

“Ey, too formal now are we? Loosen up a bit, stress isn’t good for the body.” Taehyung can’t help
but has his mouth open and eyes amazed at how casual the man talk, well he’s too playful for a
CEO. “Ey, come on loosen up. Repeat after me okay?” Mr. Bang nudged Taehyung’s shoulder, as
he stepped back and look at Taehyung.

“Ayo Hitman Bang introduces hit it the second audition.” Mr. Bang said comically, eyes blank and
hands doing several gestures that Taehyung is unaware of. “Come, repeat what I said.”

“Ayo Hitman Bang introduces hit it the second audition.” Taehyung repeated, face as blank and
gestures copied damn well, and that’s when a smile crept onto both his and Mr. Bang’s lips.

“That’s it bud! Okay, here’s what’s next.” Mr. Bang cleared his throat as he opned his mouth once
more. “Rap dance noraero sangdaebang-ui guiseoneul japhae.” Mr. Bang said, words lingering in
his tongue a little longer than necessary, but Taehyung’s enjoying it and so he repeats.

“Rap dance noraero sangdaebang-ui guiseoneul japhae.” Taehyung said, lips forming into a wide
smile that soon turned into a laughter.

“Now, you seem relaxed bud.” Mr. Bang said, nrushing off the tears of laughter from his eyes.
“Now lets proceed shall we?”

“Yes, sir.’ Taehyumg retaliate, straightening up his figure, formal but not too stiff.
Mr. Bang explained to him what are the terms included at the contact, he even asked if Taehyung
wants to change anything or if there is something that is off for him, but Taehyung’s already way
too happy and content from what was written at the contract.

His contract signing went smooth, the company is willing to pay him equivalent to what a
professional photographer earn and Taehyung’s too happy to even complain.

His photography session started right after he signed his contract. A company staff once again
accompanied him to where he’ll be working and luckily the set is just on one of BigHit’s floor.

The staffs led Taehyung to the set, chairs and carpets and everything just basically portraying those
that reflects home. He’s setting up his camera while the company’s staff set up all the equipments.

Taehyung felt his heart wrapped by delight as he finished seting up his camera. He looked at his
surrounding and it was everything that is in Taehyung’s dreams. It feels surreal, witnessing how he
fulfil his own dreams. Once the equipments and everything were set he called off to start the
shooting, voice as professional as it can get and Taehyung’s insides feel all hyped.

Taehyung is supposed to shoot individual shots for the 4 members and also groups. The concept is
rough love and that’s way too easy for Taehyung unlike those concepts that are given to him in
college.

Every staff moved out of the set. Taehyung was busy adjusting stuffs at his camera but when he
looks up, his breathing hitched, his eyes went wide and his heart broke.

Suddenly, he can’t breathe. Suddenly, his heart is aching while his hands shake. Suddenly, all the
 noise were drowned, as if he’s underwater. Everything’s unclear, his surrounding was a wavy blur
but one thing stood vivid and clear.

Eyes blank, face cold and handsome, stood Jeon Jeongguk, staring right back at Taehyung.

Well, shit.

Chapter End Notes

bang pd nim
 Chapter 7
Chapter Notes

there are homophobic insults and i dont mean any of that. i love gays as much as i love
taekook. just warning you guyssss also unedited meh :(

Its ironic, how close Jeongguk is to him yet he’s feeling like he can’t reach up to him, he can’t
touch him. They’re basically just a few meters away and yet… yet Taehyung can’t dare lay a
finger onto him. There is this invisible wall, restricting him from coming near. Well physically he
can, but there is this emotional itch in his gut that screams that this isn’t his Jeongguk, he’s too far
away, or he’s much changed.

He’s changed. Taehyung must admit to that. His hair is shorter, sporting an undercut and damn he
looked manlier than the baby bun with a coconut cut. His face, his face is still the same except for
the cold and ruthless eyes that’s looking straight back at him and upon that realization Taehyung
almost choked from the intense staring, but he cant bring himself to break the stare. He missed
Jeongguk so much.

Taehyung felt a leap in his heart as Jeongguk broke their eye contact, sight now focused on a girl,
walking right up to him. Great. She must’ve been the girl hired for Jeongguk’s concept photos. The
arms and smiles didn’t go unnoticed, they’re exceptionally touchy for being workmates. The girl
wrapped his arms around Jeongguks waist and placed her cheeks on Jeongguk’s chest, eyes
focused on Taehyung’s direction whilst Jeongguk is whispering onto her temple, probably words of
‘goodluck’ and ‘don’t worry, you’ll do good’.

Jealousy was never Taehyung’s thing, he hates it. He hates how he can’t do anything but console
himself because no one else will, you’re responsible for your own feelings. Don’t expect people to
comfort you and understand how you feel when all of Taehyung’s life he has to be sorry for how
he feel, for what his preferences is, for everything that involves his emotion. He remember getting
picked on for being gay, he remember getting scolded for being jealous, saying its immature and
that the world doesn’t only revolve around him. He can remember asking himself that time, can’t
they at least make him feel that his feelings mattered? That it isn’t immaturity but voicing out how
you feel? He wanted to be understood, yet he was left scolded.
And now, right in front of him, he can feel jealousy creep into every layer of his guts, sending
waves of ache in his heart. But no, he can’t voice it out, not with his situation right now, not ever.
He doesn’t know what to do, what to feel. He can feel his tears edge his eyes, he looked up and
sighed, a lump in his throat growing bigger. By the time he looked forward, he can only put on a
grim face.

He is here for work, he’s waited so much for this. He won’t let his feelings ruin him once more.
He cleared his throat, tears no longer evident in his eyes and he said, “Okay, let’s start.”

Taehyung himself was surprised from how stern his voice sounded, he inwardly patted his own
shoulder and whispered in his head ‘Good job bub. Way to go.’

For the past minutes Taehyung was too focused on taking shots, but as minutes pass the poses
seems to be a little more intimate and that’s against what Taehyung has in mind for the concept.

He can take it, yes. He can take the closeness of Jeongguk and the girl’s face, how Jeongguk’s arm
wrapped around the girl, how the girl lean into every touch from Jeongguk but all of it just reflects
love and it lacks rougness. Taehyung has to look up from his camera, eyes itching from the view of
both models looking all lovey dovey and he hates it, both because he loves Jeongguk and because
it doesn’t suit the theme, the latter weighs more at that.

“Pull away.” His stern voice said once more and he doesn’t know if it’s just him or he saw the girl
flinched.

“Jeongguk choke the girl with your right hand, palm her cheeks with your left and look at her
intensely. Girl act as if you’re struggling, hold his hand that’s choking you and wrapped the other
around his neck”, the models does as what they are told. “Girl look up to Jeongguk a bit.”
Taehyung was relieved no one questioned how he knew Jeongguk’s name and yet she’s calling the
girl model ‘girl’. Well the shooting intensified as both the photographer and the models turned a
little more fixated, Taehyung calling Jeongguk by his name long forgotten.

The shooting is running smooth, both subjects following Taehyung’s orders and sometimes
portraying their own sight at the concept.

The girl is laying on the sofa with Jeongguk on top of her when Taehyung’s patience ticked, he’s
been containing himself for the past minutes, but now, seeing how both seem to find a way to act
intimate is too much. He is jealous, damn jealous.

“Pull away!” Taehyung snapped, voice a little raised, his chest heaving.

Both Jeongguk and the girl pulled away, standing up to their feet and straightening themselves with
frowns on their foreheads.

“That’s it. You guys are finished.” Taehyung dismissed, eyes focused on the editor program on the
laptop beside his camera.

The staffs gathered around his side, looking at the photos. Taehyung felt accomplished as he hear
the series of compliments saying he’s good and the photos came out well. A smile formed in his
lips as he mutter his thank yous but the smile completely vanished when he felt an arm brushed
against his own.

It’s funny, the familiarity he’s feeling is so evident and strong he can’t help but feel goose bumps
from the skin that touched those of Jeongguk’s. Yes, without looking he knew it was Jeongguk. He
can’t help but flinch at the contact but the moment their arms separated he can feel himself itching
to touch Jeongguk again, to at least feel him close.
Jeongguk moved past him and peeped through the laptop screen, beside him was the girl.
Taehyung knew he can’t order them to separate anymore, and that didn’t sit well on him.

“I’ll just go to the comfort room. We’ll start the second shoot in 5 minutes.” Taehyung waited for
the ‘yes’ of his co-workers before turning his back and making his way to the bathroom. He need a
break. Seeing Jeongguk right at this instant is way too unexpected for Taehyung, worse he had to
take photos of him, with a girl.

He remember the times where he used to take photos of Jeongguk. Almost everything he does,
Taehyung has a capture of it. Taehyung has Jeongguk’s folder in his laptop and well, a backup on
his flashdrive.

He is washing his hands when he hear the door open, his eyes shot up to the mirror in front of him
and it revealed a smug looking Jeongguk, heading his way to Taehyung.

His heart hammered in his chest, thought’s going wild as he think of what to do. Shit shit shit. He
averted his gaze, quickly finishing up washing his hands and drying it. He felt panicked. His hands
started shaking. He’s been like this whenever Jeongguk’s near.

“Hey there, Kim Taehyung.” Jeongguk said, making his way beside Taehyung. He opened the
faucet and pulled up the sleeves of his dress shirt before washing his hands.

Taehyung was utterly shocked at how casual Jeongguk sounds, his face turning into a frown. A lot
of emotions are mixed inside Taehyung’s systems. Confusion, longing, shock, all throbbing at his
chest at once. But something weighs more than all the sentiments he has, something he’s been
itching to do so the moment he realized he’s sinned, he wanted to apologize. But he doesn’t know
how to break it to Jeongguk. What? Should he tell him ‘Jeongguk im sorry, I really am. I did
something before that violated you and it was all because I love you.’ No, he doesn’t even know
who Taehyung is now and taehyung doesn’t know why Jeongguk is like this. Is he normally like
this? And apparently, they’re at a comfort room, not likely a place to be saying sorry in.
“H-hey.” Taehyung muttered and right now he wanted to smack himself for stuttering. “How did
you know my name?”

Jeongguk turned to look at him, now facing him completely. He raised an eyebrow before stepping
towards Taehyung, closing their proximity to the point that he’s invading Taehyung’s personal
space.

“You mean, like how you knew my name? I don’t know, you tell me.” Jeongguk retaliate, arms
going up to corner Taehyung inside his arms and the sink.

He can see how the older’s eyes go wide, eyes going unfocused as he find words to speak.

“W-what- What do you mean?” Taehyung muttered, almost a whisper. He has a feeling Jeongguk
knew what happened before. But how? Can he actually remember him? Then why didn’t he sue
him? How can he stand being this close to me?

“What do I mean? Let me tell you a story. There is this mental guy who lost his mind because of
an accident. Upon days of loitering around, someone actually kept him but soon he was given back
to his family.” Jeongguk narrated, left hand raising up to Taehyung’s face as his index finger plays
with Taehyung’s fringe.

Taehyung cowered at the touch, face scrunching up at the familiar story. He tried to open his
mouth but the words never rolled down his tongue when Jeongguk continued.
“You see, the guy underwent counselling and such, and then poof, he got his memories back. But
the guy had nightmares. One night, he woke up from a nightmare. His nightmare was well… dirty.
He can recall words like, ‘finger me’, ‘faster Cooky’, and such. And you know what? The guy was
grossed out.” Jeongguk’s eyes were ruthless, sending shivers down Taehyung’s spine.

“The guy brushed off his nightmares because who knows, they might just be passing thoughts. But
one day the guy happen to saw his mom depositing money for the house under Kim Taehyung’s
name. So he got curious and hired some men to look over into this Taehyung.” Jeongguk removed
his arm only to turn Taehyung to face the mirror, Jeongguk standing behind his back as he continue
talking.

“Yeah so eventually he found out everything about Taehyung. But what bothered him is, it looks
like Taehyung used the guy like some… sex toy. What do you think?”

Taehyung’s eyes widened. He felt helpless. He wanted to explain his side, but nothing seems to be
the right words to explain what he’s done. He cant resort to denying it, he cant and he would never
if possible. He is scared. Scared at how Jeongguk is acting, his words and everything. Way back
Taehyung was asking Jeongguk to castrate him for every wrong he’s done and now… now he’s
being such a hypocrite forgetting scared now that he’s facing what he wanted.

He can see how Jeongguk watch his reaction from the mirror. He felt him grind his crotch onto his
butt, triggering a new wave of emotion into Taehyung’s system.

“I see based on your reaction my assumptions are right?” Jeongguk’s voice sting, he can feel the
hate seething and Taehyung felt his eyes water.

“Oh, no no. What’s with the tears baby boy? I thought you liked this kind of stuff huh? What you
like doing it yourself? You want everything according to your orders?” Taehyung’s tears then
started falling. He felt embarrassed. His ego is getting stepped on, but he can’t seem to find it in
himself to fight back because he knew he deserved this, it just hurts, especially because it is from
Jeongguk.
“J-jeongguk let me explain ugh.” Taehyung managed to stutter but his words were drowned by
moans as Jeongguk grinded harder behind him. He wanted to whack himself. Damn why is he even
moaning.

“What did you say baby boy? I see you’re getting riled up huh.” Jeongguk pulled back, eyes
bloodshot and anger is evident in his face.

“So I was right? You used me as your sex toy? Did you enjoyed it huh? Was I good?” Jeongguk
snapped, his veins showing at his neck as he fight the urge to shout at Taehyung.

“No, no Jeongguk let me explain, please.” Taehyung reached out to Jeongguk, his tears still falling.

“Don’t touch me!” Jeongguk slapped Taehyung’s hand way too hard Taehyung’s body followed.

Taehyung looked up, eyes staring at Jeongguk once more, his slapped hands forgotten. He needs to
apologize, to explain his side. He doesn’t know if it is his blurry sight or he saw a passing emotion
in Jeongguks eyes, worry. It didn’t last long when Taehyung tried to explain himself once more.

“Jeongguk, please. Let me explain.” Taehyung muttered clutching his throbbing hand. “Please,
give me a chance. I want to formally apologize.” Taehyung sobbed, restraining himself from
touching Jeongguk once more.

He can feel Jeongguk calm down, chest no longer heaving in anger.

“Fine. 9 pm. City Garden Hotel. Ask under Jeon Jeongguk’s name.” Taehyung felt a pang of relief.
He brushed his tears away using the back of his hands and he can feel Jeongguk looking. He
looked up, and at that instance Jeongguk is turning his back, walking away from Taehyung.

Once the door closed Taehyung looked at himself at the mirror. He smiled, he never felt that
humiliated, he can feel his hand sting from the slap but Taehyung is willing to take it all in. He
somehow deserve it. He’s lucky Jeongguk would let him explain. He washed the tears away from
his face and readied himself to get back to work.

He can do this, he can.

The shoot actually went smooth. Taehyung forced himself to act professional and set aside his
feelings. Well the adrenaline rush washed over him the moment he went out of the comfort room.
He somehow expected Jeongguk to stay at the set, probably linger a little more as his members
take their shoot. But no, he wasn’t there. Taehyung doesn’t know if he should be relieved or sad
now that Jeongguk isn’t here anymore.

Contrary to how clingy Jeongguk and the girl was, the remaining members were a bit stiff and
uncomfortable with their partners. Taehyung has to order them to move a bit closer because hell
they look like they were about to take a class picture with the blockings and such. He is less
irritated though, considering there is no edging jealousy that clouds his rationality. All in all he
acted professional.

After the shoot the staffs once again gathered around his laptop, praises and congratulatory
remarks audible as they scroll through the set of photos. He felt his chest swell with pride,
especially when Bang PD and the members approached him.

“Mr. Kim Taehyung?” A member asked, smiling. He has this glowing aura around him and
Taehyung cant help but smile back just as wide as the member does.

“Taehyung is fine Mr?” Taehyung said, relatively asking for the name.

“Hoseok, Hoseok is the name.” Hoseok playfully replied. The other two approached them and
Hoseok introduced both, rays of sunshine still radiating, figuratively or maybe literally? Hoseok is
that bright.

“This guy right here is Yoongi,” Hoseok said hands pointing at a grumpy looking guy. He looked
manly actually, but when he showed off his gummy smile Taehyung can’t help but feel soft. “And
this guy right here is Namjoon.” Hoseok pointed at the tall guy with the dimples and Taehyung felt
the brother vibe from Namjoon. In that instant Taehyung knew they’ll get along well. “Guys his
name is Taehyung.”

Taehyung smiled, he’s thankful the members didn’t hold grudges from all the orders and frustrated
sigh from Taehyung, they act professionally.

“Well well well, I see you guys are getting along well?” Bang PD joined the conversation.

It was actually fun talking to them. If in different circumstances he think they’ll be good friends,
well considering Taehyung still has to work with them, they probably will. They even invited
Taehyung out for late lunch but Taehyung refused. He has a lot of story telling and explaining to
do with Jimin. And to be honest, he isn’t really feeling well to go out.

He wants to go home. Well he’s been itching to do so the moment Jeongguk grinded and
humiliated him. It didn’t sit well on him, really. He’s been having flashbacks of what happened in
the comfort room and Jeongguk’s every word sting him. But who is he to complain? If he was in
Jeongguk’s place he would probably do worse.
Taehyung spent the 15 minute ride home thinking of Jeongguk’s actions. He was right. He is no
longer the Cooky he kept. The older Cooky can’t do anything to harm Taehyung to the point that
Taehyung himself is guiltily wary of his actions. But despite all of it Taehyung is certain he loves
Jeongguk, its not as if it will just go away.

Jimin was overly appalled by Taehyung’s story. Well, Taehyung skipped the part where Jeongguk
grinded on him, but all the words were told (except again the words the come with the grinding).
He is certain Jimin wont allow him to go to Jeongguk’s place if he told him about the humiliation
and such. Jimin looks like he isn’t considering it right now, much more if he mentioned all the
happenings.

“Taehyung-ah, don’t let yourself get hurt, okay?” Jimin said, hands on the steering wheel as he
worriedly looked over Taehyung who’s unbuckling his seatbelt.

Jimin’s feeling really off about. His instincts tell him that it might not go well, and Taehyung might
hurt himself in the process. But what will go wrong if you were just to explain and say sorry? Jimin
brushed off the uncomfortable itch and just decided to support Taehyung. He even insisted on
driving him and now they’re here.

“Jiminie why are you so paranoid. I’ll be fine don’t worry.” Taehyung said once he unbuckled his
seatbelt. “Im just explaining and that’s it, I’ll go home.” Taehyung hopped of the car and crouched
to see Jimin’s face, worry still painted in his expression.

“I’ll get going, Jiminie.” Taehyung assured, showing off a small smile to convince the older the
he’s going to befine.
“Yeah. Goodluck Taehyungie.” Jimin said, returning the smile with his curt ones.

The moment Taehyung closed the door and saw Jimin’s car drove away, his heart started
hammering in his chest. Naturally he is afraid. He doesn’t know how to start explaining or if he
can do the explaining itself. He’s embarrassed and guilty and all his emotions right now falls down
to anxiety. But he has to do this, for the sake of his conscience and for Jeongguk. He promised him
that he’ll apologize, when Joengguk is capable of doing so. But somehow he is hoping that
Jeongguk loved him back that time, and that his sorry will lead to something good, cause all the
years of longing and agony, only Jeongguk can heal and fix him, completely.

He closed his eyes and took in deep breathes, his anxiety remaining but his courage slowly
building up little by little. He opened his eyes and then walked straight to enter the hotel’s
entrance, legs walking directly at the front desk.

“For Jeon Jeongguk.”

The ride upstairs was exceptionally long but Taehyung’s thankful for that. As he approach
Jeongguk’s room, he can’t help but feel the same hands shaking and heart racing feeling
Jeongguk’s been giving him every time he is near. Probably because he is afraid at the same time,
he’s giddy.

He has his card key but he chose to knock. He can hear the shuffling from inside and seconds later
there are footsteps going his direction. He inhaled and prepared himself for the greeting but what
opened up to him made him speechless, numb.

On the doorway there stood the girl earlier, wearing Jeongguk’s dress shirt, hair undone and by the
looks of it, they’ve been fucking.
Taehyung’s hard built courage started to incinerate, like the burning of an autumn leaf, fast and a
few moments gone, existence left unnoticed. He can feel his heart throbbing, in pain, in envy. But,
does he have the right to? No. Its normal, for a boy and a girl to fuck. It’s not as if Taehyung have a
say in every bits of this. Jeongguk is straight, and that just add to every insecurity and envy
Taehyung has deep within himself.

He ran his stare up and down on the girl, the hickeys and marks stinging his eyes at the mere sight.
Damn, he wasn’t ready for this. A lump started to form in his throat and he gulped, controlling his
voice not to crack.

“Good Evening. I’m here for Jeongguk?” His voice shaked, eyes hot and he can’t help but feel his
insides twist in pain for he has to conceal how he feel once more, cause he has no right, he never
had.

“Uh, sure. Come in.” The girl is pretty, really. Her voice is soft and calming, maybe that’s why
Jeongguk is into her.

The girl opened the door wide and Taehyung follows as the girl trail her way inside. The moment
Taehyung entered the living room is the same time Jeongguk paved his way from a hall, hair wet
and boxers hanging low, his v-line on view. The girl then went to Jeongguk, arms wrapping around
the male and Taehyung has to avert his gaze. He feels like he is intruding something intimate,
something only for the eyes of who belonged, of who he isn’t.

“J-jeongguk, I-“ Taehyung managed to mutter, voice hesitant, not wanting to interrupt something.

“Follow us.” Jeongguk’s cold voice echoed the room, sending shivers down Taehyung’s spine. A
breaking heart, insecurity, jealousy and fear downed at Taehyung once again, all at once.
Confusion coloured Taehyung’s face as he try to probe why and where. “Uhm, where-“

“Don’t ask. Just follow.” Jeongguk interrupted, voice still icy and bland and Taehyung hates it. He
hates how Jeongguk is treating him as someone he can just order around when in reality he really is
one, all for Jeongguk. It’s his ego that’s getting stepped on, but its fine, he can handle it just fine.

He gulped and followed where the couple is heading, paving their way on the hall where Jeongguk
emerged from earlier. The couple stopped in front of a door and a few moments they entered,
Taehyung at their back.

They entered a bedroom, a bed, a desk and a couch perched inside. He stood awkwardly at the door
frame, not wanting to invade. He doesn’t want to just barge in, he wants to have Jeongguk’s favour
if he were to apologize.

“What are you doing? Come here.” Jeongguk said, hands pointing on the counch place at the end
of the bed. “Sit.”

Taehyung has a bad feeling about this, whatever is in his mind, he hopes it isn’t what Jeongguk is
planning.

Turns out he was right.

“Listen. I want you to watch and I don’t want to hear any complains or noise from you.
Understood?” Jeongguk said, throwing the girl and the bed and crawling on top, head turned back
to Taehyung’s direction.
Taehyung’s insides hammered, his thoughts going hazy as he try to at least change Jeongguk’s
mind.

“Jeongguk I think this isn’t necessary. Im just trying to exp-“

“Shut up. I’m trying to knock something inside that head of yours.” Jeongguk sternly said. “This is
what is right and appropriate that you seem to forgot when you nutted from me. Now if you want
my forgiveness, watch.”

Taehyung opened and closed his mouth, thinking of something to retaliate but no words were
formed. He closed his eyes and prepared his heart for the imminent heartbreak, even when his
heart is already crumbled, the tiny pieces now piercing him from the inside.

Jeongguk dipped his head, lips nipping at his fling’s neck. He is aware of Taehyung’s stare and
that only ignited him. He wanted Taehyung to know that this is who he is, this is what he wants
and Taehyung will never have all of this, all of what he wanted. He was utterly grossed out when
he found out something happened between him and Taehyung, between him and another guy. And
Jeongguk wanted to slap it into Taehyung’s face that dicks aren’t his thing. Basically shaming
Taehyung.

With his hands on the girls right breast he looked back to Taehyung, and when he saw the older’s
eyes tightly shut, annoyance rushed through his veins and shouted.

“Open your fucking eyes!”

He saw how Taehyung flinched at the voice, eyes opening and revealing his teary orbs, almost
pleading Jeongguk to stop. Jeongguk felt a sting in his chest as he look at Taehyung’s expression,
but he remained his stoic stance and spoke.

“You see this is what I want, something that you’ll never have. How crude of you to take
advantage of me when I was helpless eh? You see dicks were never my thing, gay.” Jeongguk said.
“Don’t fucking sob. I don’t want to hear a single noise coming from you.”

Jeongguk turned his back on Taehyung and gulped. There is an uncomfortable feeling that’s
settling on his system as he watched Taehyung’s tears fall, hands itching to touch the older’s cheek
and brush away the tears like some muscle memory. He hates it, he hates how seem to care for
Taehyung when he is here trying to humiliate and shame the older. And so he continues.

Taehyung watched each and every movement, afraid to be shouted at again. Jeongguk looked too
ruthless when he shouted, causing Taehyung to be oversensitive that he can hear every groans and
moans from Jeongguk and his girl.

He witnessed how Jeongguk worshipped her body, kissing every part and marking some. He saw
how Jeongguk’s body twist in pleasure when he entered her. He heard every shame and insult
Jeongguk threw at him, pointing out how he is disgusted by Taehyung, how he hated gays.
Taehyung never felt this small, he never felt this… this worthless. His insecurity is too much, yet
Jeongguk has to trigger a lot more diffidence of how he mattered.

Taehyung’s tears are endlessly falling and his whole body is shaking. He can barely breathe, not
when he can’t sob and make any noise. Its torture. It’s unfair how the words from someone
important seem to etch on one’s mind a little more than those who are from normal people.
Taehyung never hated being himself, well he wished he was born as someone else, but he didn’t
downright hated himself, not until now.

A lot more added to his self-hate when he feel himself getting riled up, his pants suddenly too tight
and the material too harsh.
Fuck it. He inwardly cries, he shouted, yet the frustration never ceased. Taehyung started to think
that maybe he is someone whose lust driven, libido controlled. He wanted to shout, loud.
Everything right now is a chaotic mess. The moans, his lust, and how he is feeling. It’s sickening.
He wanted to escape to breathe but he can’t.

He has to endure, up until Jeongguk is ready to forgive him. Maybe, if he endured a little more,
he’ll have something good in return. Yeah, maybe.

“Ugh, yes baby more.”

Stop.

“You’re so tight hun.”

Stop, please.

“There there there baby aaaah.”

I’m begging… please just stop.

The lewd moans escalated, the slapping skin sound echoed in the four corners of the room but
much louder inside Taehyung’s head. The lump in his throat is too huge, it hurts. His heart is
throbbing alongside with his head. He doesn’t want any of this, he endured, he tried, but he can’t
take more, not now.

His can feel his tears fall onto his lap but he can’t seem to move his arms and wipe it. He felt numb
at the outside, but at the same time he is in extreme pain, emotionally.

The moans never ceased and his body is reacting much to Taehyung’s frustration. And that’s it, he
ticked.

“I said stop!” He shouted, eyes shut and chest heaving, somehow relieved being free from self-
restrain.

The two figures stopped and when Taehyung opened his eyes, he is faced with a cruel looking
Jeongguk, standing beside the bed, hands on the waistband of his boxers.

“Leave.” Jeongguk pointed at the girl, voice even colder from before.

“B-but hun-“

“I said leave.” Jeongguk firmly said, fist closed tight.

The girl then wrapped herself and left hurriedly, stumbling a few at the process.
Jeongguk stride long steps towards Taehyung and when he reached the older, a loud slap emanated
in the room.

It stings, the slap. He can feel heat and itch run his slapped skin. A new batch of tears formed into
Taehyung’s eyes as he taste blood inside, his lips bruised. He looked up to Jeongguk, scared. He
recoiled at the intense stare, body shaking wilder than earlier.

“I told you not to fucking make any noise.” Jeongguk gripped both his cheeks in one hand. “Look
at me.” He forced Taehyung to look up, and the view is… unsettling.

“I-im sorry. Please Jeongguk let me explain.” Taehyung sobbed, cheeks hurting at every word as
Jeongguk’s thumb is pressed hard on his slapped skin.

Jeongguk pulled away, and when he did the tent in Taehyung’s crotch went visible.

Jeongguk lifted up a foot placed it on top of Taehyung’s crotch, the reaction from the elder sending
waves of heat down his stomach.

“Explain. 5 minutes.” Jeongguk said, toes pressing at Taehyung’s semi-hard member.

“J-jeongguk please, don’t do this.” Taehyung said pleadingly, voice high-pitched.

“4 minutes and 45 seconds.” Jeongguk said, foot now thrusting into Taehyungs crotch.
Taehyung inhaled, lips shaking as he try to form audible words, aside from moans.

“It’s true that I’m the one who kept you, for weeks.” Taehyung’s eyes watered, humiliating is an
understatement of what he is feeling right now.

“I looked after you. I clothed and bathed you, I gave you food. I’m not saying that you are indebted
to me in anyway because the company you’ve given me is enough or maybe too much.”
Taehyung’s voice is broken, words interrupted by moans and sobs as Jeongguk continued
ransacking his crotch with his foot, listening intently.

Jeongguk can feel shiver run his skin and he can see images behind his head, two figures both
blurry.

“Aish why can’t you just wait! Look what you did to yourself!”

“Im sorry I was just looking after you, okay?”

“Hush, hush baby I’m here. Its fine, I’m not leaving you.”

“You’ve stayed with me for weeks and believe it or not, I grew attached to you, and I might be
going ahead of myself if I were to say you did too.” Taehyung continued, moans suppressed for
Jeongguk stopped footing his crotch.

I’m waiting. In front of a door. Taehyung went out and he said he is coming back. So I’m
waiting.

“Cooky! Come here and eat lunch. Aish, why did my cookies stopped working on you.”
Im shoving a phone into someone, I want to hear Taehyungie’s voice. This little man won’t just
call him already.

“Taehyungie will be sad.”

I fell asleep on a couch, waiting for Taehyung.

“A-and yes, something happened between us. I know I’m at fault, I’ve regret that the moment I was
sobered but Jeongguk believe it or not I only did it because I love-“ Taehyung narrated, but his
voice were drowned when it was Jeongguk’s nightmare that played in his head, now vivid and
clear.

Taehyungie is moaning and I feel good too. This is nice.

“Watch me.”

“Finger me, Cooky.”

Taehyungie and I are doing something and I really like it. Taehyungie really likes me and I like
him too.

“Im sorry, Jeongguk.”

Taehyungie is crying.

“I love you.”

He turned his back on me and I can see his shoulders are shaking. Is he mad? Now I feel bad.

“I love you, too.” I whispered, and my voice actually came out. Taehyungie will be happy.

I tried once more since he didn’t move. Was my voice too low? I opened my mouth but nothing
came.

I yawned. Now I’m tired. I’ll try saying I love you to Taehyung tomorrow once more.

I hugged Taehyung in my sleep.

“Stop…” Jeongguk muttered, clutching his head. “Stop, stop, stop!” Jeongguk deliriously shouted.

Worry registered in Taehyung’s face as he stood up and reached out for Jeongguk, his tears
ceasing.
“Jeongguk are you okay? What’s happening?” Taehyung asked, hands relatively reaching out to
Jeongguk’s but he was pushed back as Jeongguk looked at him and shouted.

“Leave!” Jeongguk snapped, eyes bloodshot and tears about to fall. “Fucking leave, please.”

Taehyung doesn’t know if it is the curse or the begging that made him leave, despite him wanting
to stay.

He made his way out, eyes never leaving Jeongguk as he walk slowly backwards. He is worried,
and he wasn’t forgiven.

He grabbed a pen and a piece of paper from a coffee table and scribbled his number and a note.

09xxxxx

Jeongguk contact me please. I’ll make it up to you. Im sorry. –Taehyung.

It was on his ride back home when he felt everything have its effect on his body, shoulders
slumping and eyes droopy, he is tired, physically and emotionally.

It’s past 12 when he reached his apartment. He wants some cuddle and pampering from Jimin but
he did not want the older to worry after him, considering his reddened cheeks and bruised lips were
extremely visible.
He showered and prepared for bed, mind going back to all the thing that happened today. He
checked his face in the mirror, hands trailing at the cut in his lips. It’s exhausting, but he isn’t
giving up.

“No, Jeon. I’m not giving up on you.”

A tear fell and all he can do is watch it fall. He spent his night curled up on bed, face buried on a
pillow as he cried all the pile of emotions Jeongguk managed to inflict onto him.

Damn, that hurts.

 Chapter 8
Chapter Notes

angsty. im warning you guys. if one bitch is gonna rant about how i didnt give
warning istg. btw im @gukfortae_ on twt if u wanna fite me this is the last angst i
promise o broke them too much :(

Silence. It is silence that Jeongguk loved the most especially when being alone. It gives off
solitude, calm, and peace he can’t seem to grasp on to lately. His mind isn’t filled with much
thoughts, just calmly breathing in the silence. No noise heard, only his breathing, now loud enough
to be heard. Like a calm and hush night, with only the soft blow of the cold wind whistling through
the vast darkness.

Jeongguk stared at the glass window, city lights and a train of cars on view, fairly silent. But why
is it that his thoughts doesn’t seem to cease, echoing in his mind way too loud for his liking,
subject trailed on a specific person he is supposed to be hating on? He doesn’t want any of it,
anything that involves him.

Think of something else.

Taehyung.

Damn. Jeongguk took a sip on the whiskey he is holding, the sweet aftertaste rolling in his tongue,
his thoughts back on a certain Kim Taehyung. He isn’t the type to drink whiskeys and alcohols, he
prefer banana milk really, but he need to somehow out power the bitterness he is feeling.

“Kim Taehyung.” He softly muttered. It’s comfortable, how the name rolled better in his tongue
than the sweetness of his whiskey, but in this case, there’s no bitter beginning, just the sweet taste
surfaces.

The moment everything in his memory went clear and vivid, something went missing, a huge part
of him seems to be forgotten. There’s always been a weight in his chest, constantly aggravating as
time passes. But once he felt something huge was lifted up, he felt somewhat at ease, relieved –at
the sight of Kim Taehyung.

Taehyung. The moment he found out that his mom was paying for someone else’s bills, it ticked
something in his curiosity and maybe his instinct to dig everything out. His mom was obviously
keen about keeping it a secret, Taehyung’s existence, Taehyung’s part in his life. He hired people
to look into this Kim Taehyung and he found out he was the one who kept him for weeks. It’s kind
of unsettling, knowing that he’s receiving money from her mom, for keeping him. Jeongguk
doesn’t know why he is feeling somewhat aloof at the thought. Taehyung was paid for keeping
him. He doesn’t like the thought that Taehyung’s after the money. He wants it to be because he
liked having Jeongguk as a company, someone to go home to.

It’s absurd, how he doesn’t know Taehyung personally yet he’s feeling clingy and affectionate of
the older, hence the thought that Taehyung’s after money infuriated him, even more when his
dreams showed that something happened. It’s Taehyung who’s compensated yet he’s the one
who’s felt like a whore, that people would only stay with him for his body, for the physical
pressure he can offer. If it was another person without the presence of money, he’d be cool about it
because after all he’s also only after the physical pleasure, not the long time commitment. But no, it
was Taehyung. Jeongguk doesn’t know what is with Taehyung that makes him different from
anyone.

His mind trailed to what he’s done earlier, the live show he did to hurt and shame Taehyung. He
felt comical, how he faked his moans and how he forced himself to go lewd with the girl. Damn if
it wasn’t because of the fact that Taehyung’s watching him he wouldn’t even go hard. Fucking
girls is not new to Jeongguk, he does that a multiple times a week. But why does it seem that he’s
lost interest about it? The funny part is he feel all the sort of attraction and lust for one man only,
Kim Taehyung.

He hate the thought that he’s fucked a guy, he’s fucked Taehyung. He was certain he was grossed
out, but why is he always the one that’s initiating the physical contact? He doesn’t know what
came into his mind when he grinded on Taehyung in the comfort room, why he footed Taehyung’s
crotch, and why he is always yearning to touch the older.

Touching the older. He felt a sting in his chest when he remembered how the man’s face looked as
tears run down his cheeks, how he looked pleading for mercy from Jeongguk, how miserable he
looked. Jeongguk didn’t like any of it. He is… regretting. His heart was aching by a mere sight,
and a touch, an act of violence broke it. He slapped Taehyung. He can still hear the echoes of the
slap, how his fingers hurt Taehyung’s cheeks. It felt concerning, worrying. A part of him broke
when he felt the subtle sting in his fingers, knowing it hurt Taehyung more. He wanted to appease
him, to run his fingers over the skin he’s hurt, blow it softly and kiss it better.

He is regretting what he did, but he can’t visibly show it to the older, he can’t because he’s a whole
mess of emotions.

He hated how the older have control over his emotions and actions, when he was supposed to be
the one controlling him. He was the victim, he Is supposed to have control through Taehyung’s
guilt, he is even after Jeongguk’s favour, but when Taehyung shouted ‘stopped’, his body turned
into a complete halt, Taehyung’s command taking over him. He can’t believe a simple shout has
him pliant, and he doesn’t like that it’s all because of Taehyung. He wanted to make it clear to the
older how he is the one to control, and that he aren’t supposed to take orders, and so he slapped
Taehyung. But it turns out that he was the one enlightened that it was Taehyung who has the
control all this time; that Jeongguk is willing to do anything Taehyung asks for. He hates to admit
this but he is whipped.

Well he wanted to keep it lowkey, he wanted to be the dominant one, and so he resorted to the thing
he is certain he’ll apex, physical pleasure. And yeah he felt dominant. He felt pride swell in his
chest as moans come out of Taehyung, how he can feel the older’s member twitch at his every
thrust. But it didn’t last long when the older’s word seem to have a toll on him, triggering emotions
and memories that he’s always had, it’s just not vivid and incomplete. Like how his emotions
weren’t present in his dreams, and how Taehyung’s face is blurry.

“I love you, too.”

It was too vivid, too real.

“I love you, Kim Taehyung.” Jeongguk muttered.

A leap in his heart, and then its racing.

If ‘Kim Taehyung’ rolled better in his tongue, then ‘I love you, Kim Taehyung’ rolled its way all
the way down, too deep Jeongguk feared he’ll follow into an endless pit, but when it reached down
his heart, the warm and comfortable affection settling down, he felt… giddy. Or maybe the
affection was long there, it just went unnoticed and Jeongguk is way too oblivious and in denial to
even acknowledge it.

A sip on his whiskey and he thought, maybe it’s time to open up to Taehyung, to try a relationship
with him. It’s obvious, he’s turned gay, and he likes Taehyung (well that’s an understatement but
Jeongguk doesn’t want to go into something that deep yet) and he was certain he heard the older
say that he loves him. Because at this point, they’re both hurting and it is in Jeongguk’s hands that
they can be happy.

He is willing to forgive Taehyung, step by step. He’s bare the anger for long, it won’t fade too
easily. But he is certain that the fact that he likes Taehyung will heal him faster. It’s just a matter of
Taehyung knowing that Jeongguk is willing to try, and they’re set.

He went over his desk and grabbed the piece of paper he’s found on his coffee table moments ago
together with the folder and flashdrive his hired ‘fbi agent’ gave him, saying it’s all about
Taehyung.

Jeongguk contact me please. I’ll make it up to you. Im sorry.

“I will, Tae. I will.” Jeongguk smiled.

Well maybe the silence and the mayhem of thoughts isn’t so bad.

Swollen eyes, throbbing head, and a broken heart –Taehyungs’s morning starter pack. He cried
himself to sleep, well maybe sleep is an overstatement, it’s a nap. He dozed off at 4am and he was
abruptly awoken by the damn rays of sun seeping through his window, aside from the unpleasant
waking he’s head started aching, aggravated by the humid feeling.
He stood up, a dark shades, mostly black, started clouding his sight and for a moment black is all
he can see. Great, we going healthy now, are we. Taehyung sarcastically thought to himself.

Taehyung went to get his laptop with a ramen in his hand, settling down on his couch, his phone in
his hand. He’s waiting for Jeongguk’s message, or a call or whatever as long as it’s from Jeongguk.

Taehyung felt an immense relief when he read the email his professor gave him. It was a
confirmation that he’s complied with all the requirements he has to pass and that he’ll be part of
the graduating students the day after tomorrow. The email was sent days ago but Taehyung was too
caught up with his life’s mess that he bypassed it. He was worried sick that he haven’t received a
confirmation email yet so he decided to scroll through his emails. Now he have two events to have
a celebratory drink with Jimin.

His phone beeped and he hurriedly brought it up to his face to see if it was Jeongguk. But no, it
was Seokjin.

Seokjin Hyung

Tae, can you go to work today? There are a lot of customers walking in and we cant handle those :
( please please please?

Taehyung

Sure hyung. I have nothing to do today. Be there at 15.

Taehyung felt somewhat disappointed that it wasn’t Jeongguk. Every beep and vibrate of his phone
has him rushing to check who was it and he’s been disappointing himself since he woke up. He
sighed and ate his ramen abruptly and stood up to take a quick shower and prepare to go to work.

Taehyung bowed to a client after taking their orders, now walking directly to request the order.
He’s been paving his way back and forth for almost 3 hours now and exhausting would be an
understatement if he were to describe how he feel. Well he’s been doing this for months now and
Taehyung isn’t the built type so he still find his work exhausting, especially with the amount of
customers today.

He was on his way to fetch a customers’ order when he saw a very familiar looking man, sitting
right across where he is standing. It is Jimin. But what is Jimin doing here?

He was done fetching orders when a relatively small man walked in and sit in front of Jimin, his
back facing Taehyung. He didn’t really saw the face since the man was wearing a ball cap and a
black mask covering literally his full face. Jimin’s face turned gloomy at the sight of the guy and
Taehyung knew something was off.

After reporting the order he set off to Jimin’s table, the older’s eye widening at the sight of him.
Well he isn’t supposed to work today, understandable. Jimin gave him a look and he knew it means
‘What are you doing here?’ Taehyung mocked and gave him a ‘You don’t get to look at me like
that bitch. Explanation. Later.’ Taehyung turned his head to the man. He has took off his mask, but
is looking down with his cap on. When he looked up Taehyung’s eyes widened.

“Yoongi hyung?” Taehyung asked, dumbfounded.

“Hey,” Yoongi awkwardly answered. “Hi there Taehyung. I see you also work here?” He added.

“Ah, yeah. Part time.” –an awkward look between the two, “So, may I take your orders?”

Taehyung can’t help but watch the two’s facial expressions as they talk, both looking grim and
serious. But Yoongi? He heard his stage name will be Agust D. Agust D…

Taehyung gasped. He knew all this time the name sounded familiar. Agust D, AGUSTDADDY,
nudes, sext…
“Mr, I think we’re done here?” Taehyung snapped out of his thought when the customer waved at
him, causing him to break his intense stare at the two figures.

“Yes sir, I’m sorry.” Taehyung awkwardly bowed and once again paved back to give off the
orders.

He can now see Jimin’s face scrunch up, lips rolled inside as he look up, eyes seemingly tear
stained. Taehyung’s system was filled with worry, but he can’t bring himself to Jimin’s side, he
doesn’t wasn’t to interfere something so… private? Taehyung knows what they’re talking about is
out of his business, but its natural to feel worried and concerned, considering Jimin’s face doesn’t
show any indication that they’re good, that he’s fine.

Yoongi stood up, stayed for a few seconds and then he’s turning his back, walking away from
Jimin. Jimin is looking down, hands constantly wiping his cheeks. Taehyung took a step forward
towards Jimin, but the moment he did Jimin stood up and ran out of the place.

Taehyung wanted to follow him, but he was restrained by the constant requests from the cutomers.
He knew Jimin won’t do something that would harm himself, Taehyung’s holding onto that.

Jimin has his own problems to deal with, Taehyung can’t find it in himself to seek comfort from
him. So he settled he won’t tell Jimin what happened, not when he’s as broken as Taehyung.

Hours passed and the weight of his works just heightened, and by 5 pm he can feel his limbs
turning weak, a series of long sighs escaping his lips as he craned the stiffness of his neck. He
grabbed his bag and was ready to leave when the entrance door bells chimed and revealed a Jimin,
the skin around his eyes blotchy and face evidently tired.

He hurriedly run up to him and caged him in a hug, the older instantly returning the hug.

“Jiminie…” Taehyung started, worry etched at his voice.

“Taehyung, its fine, I’m fine.” Jimin pulled from the hug and smiled curtly at Taehyung.

“I saw what happened earlier,” Tahyung trailed with caution, not wanting to trigger any emotions
from Jimin.

“No, no please. I don’t want to talk about it…yet.” Taehyung understood how it felt, how you want
to make it look like its fine, because once you open up, you’ll drown from the rush of emotions and
it’ll be hard to appease it. A ticking bomb of emotions.

“I understand. But can you work? I mean, don’t stress yourself Jiminie. Seokjin hyung would
understand.” Taehyung said as he brush off the fringe from Jimin’s eye.

“I need this, Tae. I want to keep myself distracted. I’ll be fine, I guess.” Jimin said, forcing a small
that didn’t reach up to his eyes. Poor Jiminie.

“Jiminie…” Taehyung whined, voice pleading but at times like this, seeing how the older is so
eager and insistent on working, he knows he can’t do anything about it. “If you want to talk about
it, I’m willing to listen okay? A cuddle would be nice, right?”

“Yeah, I will. I’m counting onto that cuddle, Taehyungie.”

Taehyung went home, the weight in his heart and emptiness drowning him once again. He didn’t
want to be alone. The constant flashbacks of Jeongguk’s actions would just repeat over and over
again in his head, his heart withering at the process. Taehyung has always been self-deprecating,
thinking he isn’t worth of anything, he isn’t supposed to be loved. But for Jeongguk he’s trying,
even after all the insults and humiliation, he doesn’t know how he can stand all those, or if it’s a
good or bad thing. It’s amusing how he can still force himself or his apology to Jeongguk but at the
same time depressing, how he think more lowly of himself when he thought he’s pitying himself
enough, no further to go into.
He checked his phone, hoping for a message from Jeongguk and guess what? There’s none. At this
point Taehyung isn’t even surprised, just disappointed.

A beep.

Taehyung hurriedly swiped his phone and read the message.

Great, it was from her aunt.

Aunt Soo Ji

Taehyungie, Ive heard you got a job from a big company? That’s great honeybear. Come over here
some other time, your uncle miss you. Bring foods okay? And your cousin is graduating this week,
give her a present.

Taehyung felt irritation rush through him. Her aunt was never this sweet to him, or affectionate.
He’s fine with what she’s asking but really? Honeybear? The last time he remember he’s calling
him a dumb bastard. ‘Once you turn 18 I don’t want you in this household, dumb bastard.’ He can
remember her words full well. And it only adds up to Taehyung’s self-doubt. People doesn’t want
him because of he is Taehyung, for now it’s because he have money. But when its gone? Then
Taehyung’s left alone. He isn’t holding onto his money that much because for all he know it’s
temporary. He value family more, because he never had a real one, except for Jeongguk. But now
their relationship is far from ‘family’.

Taehyung shrugged off all the bitterness he is feeling because tomorrow, he is finally graduating. It
felt accomplishing, how he managed to support himself and how he made his dream come true.
Excitement rushed through him as he imagine himself marching down the aisle in his toga, his
name echoing in the speakers, which tomorrow he’s sure it’s happening. There might be no one to
walk him but Taehyung is too excited to even feel resentful about it.

Suprisingly that night he slept well, a minimal thought of Jeongguk is still there but he wanted to
sleep so tomorrow would come fast, and that he did.
∞

Taehyung’s in his school uniform as he stood over a pair of tombstone, a content smile in his face.

“Mom, Dad, your son is graduating now.” Said Taehyung, settling down the bouquet of flowers
he’s bought for them.

“You know when I heard that you guys died on a car accident, I wished I was there with you so I
won’t have to suffer alone. But I realized there are people like Uncle Se Hee that actually care for
me, and that I was given a chance to live a life.” Tears edge in Taehyung’s eyes when he remember
how he almost went mental when his 7 year old self heard that his parents died.

“I know, I became self-deprecating as time passes that both of you are not with me, but at least I
tried to live with it. I actually met people who wants me because I’m Taehyung, not because of
anything else and I’m thankful for them. They’re a part of me and if it wasn’t for them, I may not
have reached this far, not with an insecure Taehyung alone.” He stood up wiped his tears.

“Mom, Dad, I just want you to know that even if you’re not here, I’m doing this for you. I hope
you are proud, because me graduating after a self support is actually hard, especially when I don’t
have parents. But its fine, I managed. I just want both of you to know that I love you, and I’ll come
back here once I achieved what I wanted once more. I love you guys.”

Taehyung felt ecstatic as he leave the cemetery and made his way to his school. It’s feels good to
have a short talk with your parents. You can show what you are turning into, and that you managed
even without them, but it isn’t the type that’s boasting. It’s letting them know that he isn’t blaming
them for being absent in all his life, and that he did well and he is not wasting his life blaming
others people’s absence. He fought well.

The sound familiar sound of graduation march has him all excited, his insides vibrating in
happiness as he stood on a line of graduates. He’s alone while everyone has their guardians with
them but his talk with his parents is enough for him. The line’s moving and as time passes,
Taehyung’s smile never falter but one moment it did.

His phone vibrated in his slacks, and at last it was from Jeongguk

09xxxxxxx

Same place. I give you 15 minutes to get in here. If you don’t show up then forget about your
apology. Jeongguk.

Everything fell down, his excitement, his daydream of walking down the aisle with his name
announced out loud, and his heart. He felt weak. His shoulders slumped and his head fell. He shut
his eyes, fist closed on frustration, and his legs started walking out of the line.

Small, slow steps. He can still hear the graduation march in his ear, then one moment he’s running.
Its suffocating, the sound. Earlier he loved how it ringed on his ears, but now it’s excruciating, the
bitterness. His heart felt heavy as if there’s a constant grip, squeezing it a little.

He entered the bus panting, and when he sat down his tears started falling. He almost… almost
accomplished what he’s been daydreaming lately. It’s in front of him, he just need to stretch his
hand out and grab it, but he didn’t. Well he dreamed of Jeongguk’s forgiveness too, but it felt
wrong?

He swallowed the lump in his throat and closed his eyes. There’s a huge possibility that Jeongguk
would hurt him like he did last time but Taehyung’s hoping he won’t. He messaged him, by
himself. Maybe this time, he’ll get the forgiveness.

With his face tear stained, he walked the lobby of the building absent-mindedly. The elevator ride
seemed to be too fast, that Taehyung’s blank stare was cut by the ding , indicating that he’s reached
the floor he’s pressed. He walked, emotions returning and running through him and stopped at the
familiar door.
A knock and Taehyung can hear Jeongguk’s footseps. He forced a smile once the door opened,
revealing a merciless looking Jeongguk. Great. Can he deal with it this time?

“Come in.” Jeongguk widened the break of the door and stepped sideward, making a way for
Taehyung.

Taehyung entered and put down his things, removing his toga and once Jeongguk closed the door,
he was dragged back to the room where Jeongguk scarred him.

Taehyung is scared, aside from the tight grip in his wrist he knows something bad is coming. But
he can’t seem to show any emotion, he’s feeling so down.

Jeongguk made him sit on the bed, adjacent to Jeongguk’s desk. He opened his mouth but
Jeongguk cut him off.

“I’ll be the one to ask the questions. You’ll answer and that’s the only thing I want to hear from
you.” Jeongguk stated, standing in front of Taehyung with his arms crossed, looking down at
Taehyung.

Taehyung nodded, scared and cautious.

“Tell me, why did you fuck me?” Straight-forward, Jeongguk asks.

“Because I was drunk and the thought that you’ll soon be gone from me scared me, I wanted to feel
you, your love as well as my love for you. But if I wasn’t drunk I wouldn’t do—“

“Enough.” Jeongguk sternly said, eyebrow raising at every word. “You love me? Am I the only
one you fucked all this time?”
Taehyung hated how Jeongguk made it sound like Taehyung’s made to fuck every people out. He
did it out of love, but Jeongguk fails to see that. All he can see is that Taehyung is some horny gay
that fucks every hot guy he’s laid eyes on, Taehyung thought.

“Yes I love you. And yes, I never f-fucked anyone else after you.” Taehyung stuttered, tears
brimming in his, eyes as he say the ‘fuck’ word. Because for him, it is making love. It isn’t about
the physical pleasure but the love and affection he wanted Jeongguk to feel.

“I see, we aren’t all honest here, are we?” Jeongguk mockingly said, eyes seething with anger.

“W-what do you mean?”

Gasp.

Taehyung felt his body shiver when he saw Jeongguk raised his palm, aiming for a slap, but it
never came.

He opened his eyes and Jeongguk’s hand is left mid-air, the younger panting from anger. Jeongguk
withdrew his hands and asked.

“Who is Jihoon?” Jeongguk’s voice is shaking, probably from anger. But what makes him this
mad? And how did he know about Jihoon?

“He’s my friend.” Taehyung said as a matter of factly.

And there it came, the slap. Taehyung’s head was whipped to his left, the impact of the slap craned
his neck. His tears then started falling, and he wasn’t even regaining his posture when Jeongguk
yanked him by the arm and bent him over his desk, the younger’s hand on his nape forcing his face
to look down. He used both his arms as support so his face won’t crash into the surface but once he
saw the pictures, his arms went weak and his face fell side wards on top of the photos, Jeongguk’s
hand still on his nape, pushing it down.

The photos were of him and Jihoon. There is one where they’re holding hands, one where Jihoon’s
grinding on his back, one wherein Jihoon’s lips are on Taehyung’s neck as they walk upstairs, one
where Taehyung’s taking off his shirt while Jihoon’s on the bed.

It was a misunderstanding. The photos are implying otherwise of what really happened. Damn.
But, is Jeongguk jealous? Maybe he is.

“Jeongguk this is a misunderstand—“

“Shut the fuck up!” Jeongguk shouted. “It clearly implies you fucked him! What, do you take me
as stupid now?” Jeongguk said thorugh gritted teeth right on Taehyung’s right ear.

“J-jeongguk please,” Taehyung whispered, feeling all numb.

Something stirred right on his butt as Jeongguk stood straight. His eyes widened. Jeongguk’s dick
is poking right on his outstretched butt.

“Strip.” Jeongguk said and his eyes widened. No, please don’t.

When Taehyung didn’t move, Jeongguk harshly pulled his slacks down together with his boxers.
Taehyung thrashed around, but once Jeongguk’s grip was on his nape he can help but feel
restrained.

Jeongguk’s going fuck him, that he’s sure of. But for him he’ll endure, for him he’ll accept it. He
loves Jeongguk. He knows the grieve of long time anger and disgust he’s given him. He’ll endure,
for Jeongguk.

Taehyung felt helpless. He’s bent over a desk, his head pushed down harshly. But he cant what
he’s done.

“After this tell me who is a better fuck, me or Jihoon. I’m sure you can distinguish right?”

Taehyung can feel Jeongguk’s bare dick brush on his ass cheek. But he couldn’t care less, he felt
extremely disgusted by the thought that Jeongguk took it as a competition of who’s better when all
this time he’s never made love to anyone else. It hurts, but he chose not to respond.

What surprised him is when Jeongguk entered him harshly without notice. He can feel the
excruciating pain seethe through his flesh and tears rolled down his cheeks. He can feel his body
shake. It hurts so fucking much. Jeongguk’s spit saliva to his own dick before entering but it
fucking hurt for Taehyung.

The pain escalated when Jeongguk started thrusting fast, and Taehyung is certain there’s blood on
his ass.

“How was it? You liking it hmm? You’re a slut for this aren’t you?” Jeongguk whispered and
Taehyung started sobbing harshly, now delirious.

The pain is too much, he can no longer bare it. He wanted to pass out, his body is shaking too
much and he is hurting so fucking much. He sobbed, a pleading of halt escaping his lips.

“Stop, stop, please.” Taehyung deliriously whispered, barely inaudible, he can feel his
consciousness falter from the pain. But Jeongguk’s word hurt him thrice as much.
“What’d you say? You want more? Too slutty now eh?”

And that’s it. Taehyung felt his anger rushed through him. He’s done. No more enduring. He can’t
continue loving a man like Jeongguk.

“Stop, stop, stop! Please stop. I’m begging. Stop stop stop” Taehyung shouted, he sounded crazy,
the veins in his neck showing, his arms going in all direction, thrashing around.

Jeongguk was taken aback, Taehyung sounded off. He pulled out and once he did Taehyung
removed the hand in his nape and stood straight, pulling his slacks up and wiping his tears.

“You know what? I’m done. I’m done enduring things from you. I came here for your forgiveness
not for you to slut shame me and block my explanations.” Taehyung managed to say, a new batch
of tears falling. His legs are feeling wobbly and he can feel the pain from his ass with every move.
“Jihoon and I are just friends. Nothing happened for fucks sake.”

“I don’t know what’s making you act this way but for once I wanted you to hear me out! I’ve
suffered enough. I love you but I don’t deserve this.” Taehyung said, chest heaving as his voice
raised.

“I hate you! I fucking hate you!” Taehyung deliriously shouted.

Jeongguk’s face looked alarmed, and hurt, and worried. For the first time he showed emotions
aside from anger. But Taehyung’s had enough. Pain and humiliation, name it and he’s suffered it
from Jeongguk.

Jeongguk stretched out his hand, trying to hold those of Taehyung’s.

“I-im sorry, Taehyung. I—“ Jeongguk tried to find words to appease Taehyung but he can’t find
any.

“Don’t fucking touch me! I hate you!” Taehyung shouted, his throat is hurting form the constant
shouting. He felt too weak.

“Baby I’m sorry please…” Jeongguk said, pleading. “Please take it back. Please, tell me you don’t
hate me.” Voice cracked and heart heavy, Jeongguk said.

He walked towards Taehyung, the older stepping back, getting away from Jeongguk.

“No, no, no. Stop! Don’t come near me! Jeongguk stop!” Taehyung crazily shouted, his whole
body shaking and one thing is on his mind, to get away from Jeongguk. He’s having an emotional
breakdown.

It hurt Jeongguk to see the one you love running away and scared of you. But he know he inflicted
a deep scar into Taehyung, his actions are understandable. He can see how fear crossed the older’s
eye as he cowered at the thought of Jeongguk coming over him.

Jeongguk continued with his long strides and once he reached Taehyung, he caged him in a hug,
the older flinching at the touch.

“No, no. Don’t hurt me please, I won’t do it again. Please. I’m sorry, I’m sorry…” Taehyung
feverishly mumbled, his whole body shaking in Jeongguk’s arms, repeating ‘im sorry’ constantly.

Jeongguk’s heart break and his tears fell when he realized how much pain he’s inflicted into
Taehyung. He placed his lips on the older’s temple as the older continued with his ‘sorry’s. It’s
heart-wrenching, knowing he’s the one who made him like this.
He held him tight, his eyes closed as he let himself drown with Taehyung’s mumbles of ‘Im sorry’.
It never ceased, and Jeongguk knows it isn’t normal anymore. He pulled to look at Taehyung’s
face and damn. The sight was alarming. Taehyung’s tears are endlessly falling, his stare is blank
and his lips are still muttering his apology.

“Shit, baby look at me. Please baby.” Jeongguk said, placing his hand on Taehyung’s cheeks to
meet his gaze.

Taehyung did looked in his face. And there he smiled, a sad one.

“Cooky…”

And he passed out.

Jeongguk caught him on his arm and settled him on his bed. Once he did, he felt his heart break at
how tired the older looked. He called him Cooky. It’s nice, the name. It felt nostalgic.

Looking back into his actions, Jeongguk felt guilt course through him, the waves directly aimed
toward his heart breaking it at every clout.

He was supposed to confess and forgive Taehyung, but when he opened the folder his hired men
gave him, he went on rampage. He is hurt. So damn much. He was willing to accept Taehyung,
and there he saw betrayal, right in front of his eyes. But he knows, he acted too much, he’s a
monster, he knows that.

He is worried. Taehyung just had an emotional breakdown, all because of him. His tears fell as he
stroke the older’s hair. It felt familiar, like his fingers brushed over the same smooth locks a lot of
times before. And that maybe he did.
He stood up and looked at the clock, it 10:30 am. He looked back at Taehyung. He kissed the
older’s forehead and went to his kitchen. He wanted to pamper him, for all he’s done. On his way
he saw Taehyung’s things. His toga, and all.

Damn, I just ruined his special day. Fuck my life.

Jeongguk’s feeling all guilty, it’s suffocating. His every move are filled with an uncomfortable
feeling. Maybe it was his conscience. It didn’t sit well on him that he’s hurt Taehyung.

He’s cooked soup and a heavy meal for Taehyung. If it was in different circumstances he’d feel
like a husband, but right now, it all guilt and remorse nothing else.

There’s a possibility that Taehyung will push him away once he wake up. But can Jeongguk handle
that? If Taehyung wanted to be away from him then why not? It’s what he wants after all and hes
willing to give everything Taehyung asks for. Can he?

Turns out he cant. He can live without Taehyung, but it’ll be miserable. It’ll be a constant days of
agony and longing. But can he selfishly keep Taehyung to himself knowing the older doesn’t want
him anymore? That, he doesn’t know.

He remembered the flashdrive that comes with to folder, saying it’s about Taehyung. Jeongguk
knows that what it has maybe the same as what is in the folder, but he’s curious. He promised
himself not to hurt Taehyung even after knowing whats inside.

He went back to his room, Taehyung still asleep in his bed. He grabbed his laptop and the
flashdrive, tossing the photos of Taehyung and Jihoon into a trash bin. He silently went out of the
room after kissing Taehyung’s forehead.

He settled himself in the living room, laptop on his lap. The device loaded and he plugged the
flashdrive in. A single folder was inside and it was named Cooky.
Jeongguk opened it and what he saw broke his heart.

It was photos of him that he has blurry memories of.

He opened one and clicked next, and by photos he can feel a memory getting triggered at the back
of his head. It hurts, how happenings rushed through his mind at every photo but he continued.

Taehyung and him cuddling, him holding two toothbrushes, him in a black and white photo,
looking back at the camera, and a lot more. Mostly it was his photos. And he can remember full
well how it was taken.

By the time he finished looking at all the photos, his face was filled with tears and his memory
filled with memory.

He can remember everything. How Taehyung took care of him, how he grew to love Taehyung,
how he yearned for Taehyung everytime. He can remember how Taehyung give him in. Their
tears, Taehyung’s words. He can remember crying over a door, knowing Taehyung’s on the others
side.

Jeongguk cried, damn he miss Taehyung so much. He sobbed, hands covering his face as his
shoulders shook vigorously. He stood up to go into Taehyung’s side when he was faced with an
emotionless Taehyung.

“T-taehyung baby…” Jeongguk said but Taehyung ignored him and went to collect his things,
avoiding Jeongguk.

“Taehyung please…” Jeongguk said, following Taehyung.

“I’m leaving. I got no business here. Good riddance, Jeon.” Taehyung said, making his way to the
door.

“No, no, no. Please, baby I miss you. Please. I can remember everything now. Taehyung, I love
you.” Jeongguk said, arms wrapping around Taehyung, back hugging him. He can feel how the
older stiffened at his touch.

“I’m sorry what I did was too much. But I was mad, so damn mad. Deep down I know I love you,
but seeing you with another man broke me. I’ve suffered from missing something in my heart for a
long time, and when I found out it was you I was actually relieved, but I felt like a sex toy. And
damn I wasn’t even gay but for you, for you I am. I’m sorry I touched you all the time. I want you,
but I’m too scared to admit that.” Jeongguk explained, eyes buried on the curve of Taehyung’s
shoulder, sobbing and and tightening his hug on the older.

“But please, don’t leave me. You said you’ll find me when you’re no longer guilty, and I’m here.
Please, I love you. I hurt you, too much, I’m aware of that. But I’ll make it up to you. I’ll do good,
I promise. You want to hurt me, I know. You want me gone, I know. But I can’t, I love you too
much. I know I’d sound absurd, but please this time, take me with you.” Jeongguk said, his tears
moistening Taehyung’s shirt.

Taehyung’s heart fell.

 Chapter 9
Chapter Notes

do you know putangina? im sorry it took long i was busy

See the end of the chapter for more notes

For a moment, he felt nothing. In a fleeting time, he felt as if he was underwater, sinking his way
down the immense depths of the dark ocean. In a short expanse of time, nothing registered to
Taehyung’s mind, nor his heart.

Heartbeats. Loud and fast heartbeats are ringing in his ears, echoing for a moment, followed by
another, and the chains of loud heartbeats continued.

A sob, a tight hug, a shake in his back.

Jeongguk.

And then suddenly, he is crying. Suddenly, his emotions invaded his systems. Hurt, relief, longing,
shock, confusion and love. His sight looked at the hands in his tummy, intertwined tightly,
knuckles turning white, no sign of letting go. He can see his things scattered on the floor, he
must’ve dropped them from the sudden contact. His tears fell over the fingers, the man in his back
flinching at the knowledge of him crying.

“Tae, baby… please,” A voice, so gentle, so calming, but it’s hurting. Jeongguk is hurting, crying.

He is crying on his shoulders. He can feel the warm breathes, the subtle shake on his nape as
Jeongguk speak. It’s too much. The head lifted, and Jeongguk speaks,
“I’m sorry, please… I love you. Don’t hate me, baby. It hurts… it fucking hurts.”

Taehyung moved both his hands, cupping those of Jeongguk’s, and then he’s freeing himself, from
the hug because if he don’t, he’ll give in. The familiar warmth was too much to bear, he longed for
it, he cried himself to sleep imagining this very arms comfortably wrapped around him. But now it
seems suffocating, knowing it’s from Jeongguk. But the comfort is there, it just doesn’t feel right,
not right now.

“Let go,” Ice cold, Taehyung said, struggling his way out of Jeongguk’s embrace. “Let go of me,
Jeon.”

But Jeongguk won’t let go, in fact his hold went tighter, as if he’s holding for his dear life. Well, he
is.

Taehyung’s nails dug through the back of Jeongguk’s palm, but the younger is far from letting go.
Taehyung struggled, his sobs going louder and louder. He panics, because if this lasts for a few
more seconds, he’ll give in, and he doesn’t want that. He’s had enough.

Jeongguk sobs and if Taehyung were to say his heart didn’t broke at the thought of it then he’s
lying. But the pain Jeongguk inflicted is too much, and he is not ready to forgive him, yet. Or
maybe he is. The moment Jeongguk said he remembered him, damn it felt euphoric. But he can’t
easily forget, and the pain is too much to bear knowing it’s from someone important, from
someone you love.

“Let me go, please.” Taehyung sobbed, his shoulders shaking much to Jeongguk’s brokenness.

Hearing how the older plead, his arms went weak, his hold loosening and his heart breaking when
the older stepped forward, away from Jeongguk.

Taehyung felt empty, Jeongguk’s warm hug now gone. He craved the contact, but once he is in
touch with Jeongguk, it is heart breaking. Jeongguk’s cries grew louder and Taehyung fought the
urge to look back and look at the younger, but he failed.

Taehyung turned on his heel to face Jeongguk. Wrong move. The sight of Jeongguk being this
broken hurt Taehyung a thousand times than how he looked. De ja vu. It felt familiar, this
separation. This happened before, but this time, both are aware of their feelings. But why is it that
they can’t be together?

Having emotions sucks. For once Taehyung wanted to feel numb and invincible. Far from this
broken and fragile Taehyung. The sight of tear stained Jeongguk cut through his guts, his sobs
ringing in his ear, and the hands that are reaching up to those of Taehyung’s is unnerving. Turns
out this man is still his Cooky, the sweet affectionate Cooky.

“Baby please stay…” Jeongguk sobs, “I’ll be good, shit I’ll make it up to you. Punch me if you
want, slap me, kick me I don’t care. Just please, don’t leave me. I need you.”

“Jeongguk I am hurt.” Taehyung cried, voice shaking and broken, as if a child telling his parents
how he is upset, or hurt seeking for comfort. Both males are crying, both hurting and if that is the
case, then they’re better off of each other.

“I know, baby I know. But I promise I’m not hurting you anymore. I was jealous, damn jealous. I
wasn’t even over the phase of accepting my sexuality but baby, I’m willing to try, for you. I was a
frustrated mess, and I know I vented it all out on you. But I’m willing to pay for my sins, please.
Just tell me what to do and I will, for you, for your forgiveness.” Jeongguk’s hands went to reach
out to Taehyung and for the first time, Taehyung didn’t budge.

“Why now? Why not after you humiliated and shamed me for being myself? For trying to make it
up to you? Why now when you broke me too much I’m doubting if I’ll ever heal?” Taehyung
retaliated, crying just as hard as Jeongguk, but the warm hands in his own are comforting. What is
it in Jeongguk that he feels like home in juxtaposition in how he can break him? It is unfair.

“All my life I’ve always doubted my self-worth. Was I even worth of anything? I don’t think so. As
self-deprecating as it sounds I never felt satisfied nor accomplished of my work. But at some point
I did, back when I felt the affection from you, and earlier when I was about to walk myself in a
graduation after all the struggles. But guess what? I never got the chance to do so. Because of you,
because I am willing to sacrifice anything for you.” Taehyung cries.

Jeongguk felt his heart break a little more hearing it from Taehyung. He remember how he
degraded Taehyung, not knowing his words are taking its toll on the older, but the older endured,
for him.

“And now, you’re here, saying you love me. Am I supposed to believe that? I know full well how
you think so lowly of me and you made it clear that I disgust you. So please, just stop. I’ve had
enough.” The lump in Taehyung’s throat is too huge, and his sobs are uncontrollable. He needed
this, he needed to release and rant how bad he feel, how he is breaking, and what he’s been
enduring that went unnoticed.

Taehyung feels like he can never go broken any further, this was the first time he’s feeling so
miserable, much worse than when he let go of Cooky. But he was wrong, what broke him further is
when he saw how Jeongguk fall on his knees ever so slowly, tears falling and face in agony.
Jeongguk’s arms once again wrapped on Taehyung’s waist, his face buried on Taehyung’s tummy,
crying for his life out.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. Taehyung I was mad, so mad. I never meant the words I said to you, it
was my anger that’s talking. But baby, you’re worth all the love in this world. I’m sorry to be the
one to make it sound like otherwise. I’m sorry you have to sacrifice something so precious to you,
but baby, please give me a chance. I’ll prove myself to you. I love you damn please believe me.”
Jeongguk sobbed on Taehyung’s tummy, he can feel his shirt getting soaked from Jeongguk’s tears.
No one can ever break him just as Jeongguk does.

Taehyung’s colossal walls are breaking, Jeongguk is finding his way to Taehyung, but he is broken
by the same man. But he broke Jeongguk once too. Its assuring, knowing Jeongguk is willing to
appease him, to do the thing he failed to do. Putting himself into Jeongguk’s shoes, he’ll do worse
–he won’t even fall in love for a guy like him, who found pleasure and forced his way into
someone who isn’t capable of voicing out what he wants. At least Jeongguk had the audacity to use
Taehyung right in front of his normal state.

And for once, he never felt this important. Jeongguk is begging for him, on his knees, crying for
Taehyung. One time Taehyung thought, it’s unfair how the words from someone you love tattoo on
your mind better than those from just anybody –but now, he’s thankful it does because Jeongguk
fix him better than how he is breaking him.
The future of Jeongguk and him together are in his hands. He remember how broken he felt when
Jeongguk left him way back, how he hoped for a future with him. Would Taehyung risk it? Would
he risk being hurt up to the extent of how broken he is? Sobs. But clearly it isn’t just him who’s
hurting, they both are hurting.

He can see how Jeongguk’s shoulders are shaking, how tight he held onto Taehyung, and
Taehyung felt his hand move to stroke a comforting pattern into Jeongguk’s black locks.

Jeongguk stiffened at the action and he looked up, seeing Taehyung smiling so small despite the
tears running down his cheeks, the broken pieces if his heart started to heal slowly, but not fully. A
weight in his chest was lifted up, seeing how affectionate Taehyung is looking back at him.

Taehyung tugged Jeongguk to stand up, and that Jeongguk did.

“Please say it again. Say that I’m worth the love. Jeongguk please,” Taehyung said with a smile on
his lips even when his tears are still falling.

Jeongguk pulled Taehyung by his nape for a warm tight hug and on his ears he whispered,
“Taehyung, baby you deserve all the good things this world has to offer. And if you’ll let me, I’ll
give all of them to you. I love you, I never stopped loving you baby, not ever.”

Taehyung cried harder with his face buried on the crevice of Jeongguk’s neck, the familiar scent
invading his system and his arms wrapped tightly around Jeongguk. But this time, he isn’t crying
because of a broken heart, but because of a content one, albeit broken but he know Jeongguk will
heal him, fix him.

“I like the way you call me baby.” Taehyung giggled.

“You do, hmm?” Jeongguk said as he pull from the hug, both his hands cupping Taehyung’s
cheeks, the older naturally leaning into the touch with his eyes closed.

Jeongguk rubbed the tears away from Taehyung’s face just like he used to. He saw the cut in
Taehyung’s lips, and the slightly swollen skin of his cheek. Jeongguk closed his eyes because he
can’t stand seeing those.

“Hey, hey, its fine, I’m fine now.” Taehyung whispered and the softness in his voice forced him to
open his eyes.

Taehyung is still smiling, cheeks cupped by Jeongguk’s hands. Jeongguk’s heart is hammering in
his chest. Damn, he really love this man, his baby.

Jeongguk then kissed Taehyung’s forehead, Taehyung’s nose and his left cheek. He looked at the
right cheek and he blow on it so gently, before placing a long kiss, kissing the pain away. His eyes
then trailed to the cut on Taehyung’s lips, and again he blew on it, before placing a kiss.

Taehyung’s eyes are closed and lips protruded when he pulled out. Damn, he’s cute.

Taehyung opened one eye and scoffed at Jeongguk before standing straight, scowling at how
Jeongguk didn’t kiss him for long.

Jeongguk fight back the urge to laugh and just settled with a coo for Taehyung. “I love you.” He
whispered.

“I love you, too.” Taehyung replied, now smiling.

And that’s when both male leaned in, lips touching so perfectly, as if both lips are moulded for
each other. It felt perfect, little monsters flying inside each other’s gut. Yeah little monsters,
butterflies would be an understatement of how giddy both Taehyung and Jeongguk feels. Their lips
moved in synch, as if dancing on a rhythm they’ve practiced for so long.

Taehyung’s arms wrapped around Jeongguk’s neck, head tilting to feel Jeongguk more and soon
they pulled out panting, foreheads touching and eyes closed, a content smile perched on their lips.

The moment was perfect, it felt calm and wonderful, the kind of comfortable silence everybody
yearns for, but it was made to end, it’s supposed to end. Taehyung wished it ended as beautiful as
how it started, but no.

A growl in his tummy and Jeongguk is fighting back the urge to laugh and Taehyung is looking all
flustered and embarrassed but hey, Jeongguk’s whipped and he wouldn’t want his baby hungry.

“You hungry, baby? Come, I cooked something for you.” Jeongguk said, encircling his arms on
Taehyung’s waist and kissing the older’s forehead before leading him to his kitchen.

Taehyung let Jeongguk tug him, also wrapping his arms around the latter and leaning in to him. It
felt a little awkward, how close their relationship is right now, when hours ago Taehyung’s
cowering in fear of Jeongguk.

Taehyung pulled from the intimate space, face hesitant. It feels new, not unlike when he’s all
touchy with Cooky. It feels… unreal. Everything went too fast. He feels like he’s dreaming, and
one moment it’ll all be gone, Jeongguk stays as brutal as he was. He might be feeling too happy at
the moment and soon, he isn’t anymore. Too much happiness actually scared him because he
knows, it won’t last.

Jeongguk felt Taehyung’s distant move and his heart sank. He expected this. He broke him too
much, he won’t just heal and ease up in a period. He’s willing to give him the time and assurance
that he’ll make their relationship last, and that he’s not hurting him anymore.
He remained his hand on the older and just led him to his dining, where he set up their food. He
pulled a chair for Taehyung and urged the older to sit down. Wrong move.

Jeongguk felt helpless when he saw Taehyung wince in pain once he sat down. It was his fault. His
damn fault.

But is this time to point out fingers and blame himself? He fucked up he knows that, but he’s here
to appease Taehyung. Man up, Jeon. You did this, pay for it.

“Shit, I’m sorry baby.” Jeongguk said as he pull Taehyung up, rubbing his back and kissing his
scrunched face.

Taehyung gave him a small smile and just stood there, not knowing what to do. His ass is hurting
like a bitch, he tried to hide it knowing Jeongguk’s feeling all guilty but when his butt rested
completely on the seat, the pain surged up, and it was unbearable.

They settled to eat with both of them standing up. Taehyung missed this, he miss how he ate with
Cooky and seeing it happen right before his eyes makes him feel ecstatic. Small smiles crept in his
lips as Jeongguk occasionally shove his chopsticks onto Taehyung’s mouth. If Jeongguk were to
continue being this sweet, then maybe Taehyung would allow himself to feel happy, because he
knows, the pain would be worth it if it will come from Jeongguk.

Taehyung doesn’t know what’s with him that when he’s full, sleep will always consume him and
one moment, he’s knocked out. By the time Jeongguk finished washing their plates, Taehyung’s
eyes are droopy.

Jeongguk, being the piece of fluffball he is, he carried Taehyung with his arms bridal style. A small
yelp escaped Taehyung’s lips when Jeongguk scooted him from his feet and there his sleepiness is
gone.

“Jeongguk, I feel sticky.” Taehyung muttered. He doesn’t know if he’s trying to act cute with
Jeongguk or it just naturally comes to him to just whine everything he feels. He feels… protected
and safe.

“You want to take a bath, hm?” Jeongguk asked, his lips on Taehyung’s temple.

Well with all the dramas and stuff who would even feel fresh. Jeongguk also take this as an
opportunity to give Taehyung a late aftercare.

Jeongguk carried Taehyung to his bathroom, settling the older on his feet as he grab bath bombs
and filling his tub with lukewarm water.

Taehyung stood there watching Jeongguk move around. He can’t help but smile seeing Jeongguk
doing all sort of things for him. Jeongguk wouldn’t let him do things on his own. He can remember
Jeongguk saying, “No, hun. Stay there and I’ll do things for you,” when he insisted on helping him
washing the dishes. Taehyung will admit that he love how Jeongguk is spoiling him, because damn
he never felt this significant.

“Step in, hun.” Jeongguk said when the tub was filled with water.

Taehyung hesitantly stripped in his clothes, aware that Jeongguk is looking at him. He looked at
Jeongguk to see his reaction, but when he saw no signs of lust in Jeongguk’s eyes, he stripped more
comfortably. Well there’s admiration in Jeongguk’s eyes, the kind that Taehyung needs right at the
moment.

Jeongguk held his hand as he stepped in the tub, fully naked. The moment the warm water hit his
skin feels utterly relaxing, a long sigh escaping his lips. He sat on the end of the tub, his ass
stinging just a little, and his head thrown back, his nape resting on the rim of the tub.

Jeongguk sat beside him, on the tiles outside the tub. He perched his chin on the rim adjacent to
where Taehyung is laying.
The moment felt too comfortable, too intimate and warm, like the feeling late night talks give,
alongside with a cuddle. Small smile crept to the two male’s lips. An eye contact, followed be a
long silence. Until one decided to break it.

“You know when I lost you back then, I was so broken.” Taehyung starts. “I didn’t know what to
do, I was so used to having you. You were my only family back then.” A curt smile is plastered on
Taehyung’s lips, his eyes glistening in a nostalgic feeling.

“I did my life’s routine with you, and when I lost you damn I kind of lost a piece of myself too. I
can remember waking up next to you, then we’d be brushing our teeth together, and then you’ll
cling onto my back as I cook our breakfast.” Taehyung muttered. He can remember how Jeongguk
used to be so clingy back then.

“I also remember that one time when I had to bring you with me to work. I pulled out an extra act
to convince you to stay where I told you, cause I can’t bring you in. You laughed at me that time,
and inwardly I was laughing at myself too.”

Jeongguk can recall that memory, the funny feeling settling on his chest.

“But you know I cant continue bringing you to work, but you were insistent. Until one moment
you’re not. Jimin’s cookies seemed to work on you, for a short time. I can remember you ignoring
me for Jimin’s cookies! And there I decided to call y—“

“Cooky…” Jeongguk continued.

Both male smiled, the happiness reaching both their eyes.

“Oh, right. You should meet Jimin some other time.” Taehyung excitedly muttered.
“Yeah, the small man.” Joengguk retaliated, his hands searching for those of Taehyung’s.

“Hey, you’re so mean. He looked after you way back. And he was also there when you left me.”
Taehyung pouts, “Anyway, I can remember how I felt so guilty when you got beaten up for
stealing medicines for me. I hit you that time, and I never got to make you understand how sorry I
am. And for that Jeongguk I’m sorry.”

Taehyung likes how his talks are going. They’re both opening up, fixing the wounds that healed
wrong, and replacing it with a better seal, yes they may be scarred but hey talks like this will fix
them.

“I know, baby. I know.” Jeongguk said, kissing Taehyung’s knuckles that he’s been playing with
for quite a while now.

Taehyung melted at the action, his heart started racing but it’s not new really. He’s been feeling all
sort of emotions with Jeongguk and he doesn’t think he’ll get used to it any time soon.

“Jeongguk I know I broke you, I violated you, but I want you to know that I made all those because
I love you and I care for you.” Taehyung said, voice so sad but comforting.

“Taehyung its fine, I’m fine. After what I did to you I think we both should stop hurting ourselves
now shall we? I knew from the start that I loved you, yet I did those horrible things just because I
am not ready to accept my sexuality and because I felt like a whore. If only I listened, if only I
wasn’t driven by my anger, I wouldn’t have done that. I almost lost you. Damn when you said you
hate me I felt helpless and hurt, because deep down I know I deserve your hate.”

“Let’s start a new baby. I’m willing to start a life with you.” Jeongguk said looking intimately at
Taehyung.
“You are not proposing right?” Taehyung chuckled, amused smile on his lips.

Great, he just had to ruin the moment.

“No, not yet baby. We’re still too young. But if you want it just tell me and give me the budget for
your surprise. I’ll buy them all for you and you just have to act shocked and pay for the bills. Easy
right?” Jeongguk joked.

Taehyung pouted and one moment they’re thrashing around and wetting each other, well it just
Jeongguk who’s wet.

“Hey, hey, hey let’s stop now.” Taehyung squealed when Jeongguk grabbed the bidet and aimed at
Taehyung.

“Fine, fine.” Jeongguk said, faint smile plastered on his face.

He grabbed a bath robe for Taehyung and also a pair of his white shirt and sweatpants and of
course underwear.

Its past 2 pm and they’re cuddling on Jeongguk’s bed, the two tangled with each other, limbs
crossed and skin touching.

Taehyung missed this, the warm and comfortable feeling of Jeongguk’s hugs. His doubts from
earlier completely vanished. Well for once he think he deserves the happiness from Jeongguk. He
can feel his love not because of his sweet gestures, everyone can fake that, but because of the same
eyes that Cooky used to look at him once, when he realized he’s falling, not knowing that the
younger is getting attached to him just as much as he do to him.
Jeongguk is a charmer, isn’t he. Taehyung thought and there he remembered the girl Jeongguk is
with from the last time.

“Jeongguk, the girl back then…” Taehyung started hesitant.

“Ho Rang? Don’t worry baby, we only agreed to sate each other’s lust. It was a coincidence that
my company hired her for the shoot. I swear I don’t love her or something, baby.” Jeongguk
muttered, alarmed.

“Oh, you ended it already with her right?” Jeongguk felt a swell of pride in his chest when
Taehyung sounded so possessive, of him, only of him.

“Yes, yes baby I did.” Jeongguk said. He didn’t want to tease Taehyung about being jealous
because hey he did it on purpose, to make him fell jealous and that isn’t up to take as a joke.

“Good,” Taehyung muttered, a teasing smile in his lips. Damn Jeongguk is whipped, for him.

Back then Jeongguk hated how Taehyung controlled him and his emotions, but now, it actually felt
good. To have someone keeping you by his side, possessive but not suffocating. He likes it, how
he feel so precious and treasured by his love.

Jeongguk chose not to answer and just snuggled closer to Taehyung, his lips on the top of his head,
kissing it from time to time until they’re both asleep.

Its past 5 when they woke up.

They’re currently on Jeongguk’s car, driving to Taehyung’s apartment. Earlier they both agreed to
live separate, but Jeongguk wanted to stay a little bit more with Taehyung, saying he’s missed his
apartment and stuff.

Well, Jeongguk really do missed Taehyung’s apartment. It was once his home, a home with
Taehyung. But for now, they have their own dreams yet to fulfil. The right time will come for them
they believe. And so they ended up with Jeongguk having a sleep over at Taehyung’s.

The sun is setting down, oranges and pinks painted the sky. Taehyung rolled his window down and
let the air brush his face. It feels good, relaxing even. Jeongguk’s car is playing a song, Through
the Night, and it sets up the mood, warm and comfortable gloaming for Taehyung.

The wind is blowing his hair and he can’t help but rest his head on his forearm that’s perched on
the window.

“Ah, this is so nice.” Taehyung said, eyes closed.

Jeongguk’s been watching Taehyung, glancing from time to time. The older looked so soft,
especially because he’s swimming on his clothes, the size too big for him. Jeongguk smiled and
reached out for Taehyung’s hands, intertwining before kissing it.

Taehyung looked at him, eyes wide and curious. Damn, he’s really cute.

“Jeongguk is it okay if we date? I mean, you’re debuting as an idol right?” Jeongguk let go of
Taehyung’s hand to move to gearstick, holding it back once he let go of the gearstick.

“Yes baby, There’s nothing about dating in the contract.” Jeongguk assured.

“But wouldn’t that affect your ‘future’ fans? First sight of you then you’re already taken.”
Taehyung’s brow furrowed, lips protruded.
I’m taken, by Taehyung. Jeongguk felt giddy, smile automatically creeping into his lips. Putangina,
he’s damn elated at the thought that Taehyung is his boyfriend.

“Nah, they aren’t fans if they don’t love the whole me, including my loved ones. And I want to be
an idol to show my love for music and my passion for dancing, not because I want to display
myself and say ‘Hey I’m single, I’m up for your fantasies’ Nope, that doesn’t work like that for
me.” Jeongguk said, arms rotating the steering wheel.

Taehyung’s been deeply in love with Jeongguk and seeing how passion-driven the younger is, he
just fall even deeper. A fond smile is on his lips as he stare at Jeongguk. That’s it, he is also
whipped.

He saw something on his peripheral view and he squealed.

“Jeongguk! Let’s pick up some milk from 7/11 please?” Taehyung pleaded, and once he was
finished saying his plea their car is already parked outside, Jeongguk unbuckling his seatbelt.

“I was thinking the exact same thing baby.” Jeongguk faces Taehyung, face plastered with humour.
“Now what flavour would you buy?”

“Oh, so we’re both thinking of buying flavoured milk? Are we thinking the same flavour?”
Taehyung challenged, his seatbelt unbuckled and is now facing Jeongguk.

“3… 2… 1”

“Banana!-Strawberry!” Both shouted, face contorting at the realisation that they aren’t that
matching.
Minutes later they’re at the convenience store near Taehyung’s apartment, buying their banana and
strawberry milks. Jeongguk find Taehyung adorable for buying a strawberry milk for his age, but
Taehyung thinks that of Jeongguk too. They’re on their 20s who would even shamelessly buy a
flavoured milks at that age?

They’re walking sideways, straws in their lips and hands intertwined. They’re heading to
Taehyung’s apartment when they saw two familiar figures, walking hurriedly.

It was Jimin and Yoongi.

Jeongguk and Taehyung shared a look as they saw the two figure enter Jimin’s apartment, and god
knows what happens next.

“That’s Yoongi and Jimin hyung right?” Jeongguk said, eyes questioning.

“Yeah, they have this sort of a relationship I think?” Taehyung answered, not sure on how to
explain the kind of relationship Jimin and Yoongi has.

“Yoongi hyung has been smiling at his phone these past days. Now he won’t let me touch his
phone. Does that have something to do with Jimin hyung?” Jeongguk asked, straw on his lips.

“Yeah, I saw Jiminie sending his photo to this Agustdaddy contact, turns out it was Yoongi hyung”
Taehyung said, sipping in his milk.

They fought yesterday right? But why are they together now? That, Taehyung doesn’t know. He
just hope Jimin won’t hurt himself with this relationship he has with Yoongi, again.
“Are we really gossiping about them while were here sipping flavoured milks?” Taehyung said,
facing Jeongguk.

“Yeah, milk is for everyone. You don’t discriminate people like that.” Jeongguk retaliated. “But I
thought Yoongi hyung is straight?”

“He is? But hey, you called them hyung at first sight yet you never called me that once.” Taehyung
whined, hands on his hips.

“Meh, I prefer calling you baby.” Jeongguk cheekily replied, his smile so contagious that Taehyung
ended up smiling back.

“Aish, let’s go?” Taehyung said, grabbing his keys and opening his apartment.

They went inside, the nostalgic feeling creeping onto both their systems, for Taehyung it’s about
having Jeongguk back in their home, and for Jeongguk it’s about stepping once again to the place
you once considered home, well it still is his home.

“You okay?” Taehyung asked when Jeongguk stood still, eyes wandering inside the apartment.

Jeongguk missed every corner of this place, it felt so comfortable, so… nostalgic. He can see vivid
figures of him and Taehyung on the kitchen, on the couch, everywhere.

“Yeah, I just really missed this place.” Jeongguk said.

“Aw, come here you.”

Taehyung embraced him in a hug and that moment if felt right, that he belong where he should be.
Taehyung is his home. Well both Taehyung’s apartment and arms, that’s where he belongs to.

“Wanna eat?” Taehyung asked and Jeongguk knew right away what he wanted to eat.

“A ramen please.” Jeongguk teased. He remember how Taehyung used to feed him with ramen
non-stop, straight every week, but not always.

Taehyung punched his arm, jokingly before making his way into his kitchen.

Taehyung was pouring the noodles when he felt an arm wrapped around him. Damn, he never
thought he would do this again with Cooky, now Jeongguk. Not to be dramatic but he can feel his
tears edge in his eyes so he turned around to face Jeongguk, burying his face on the crook of
Jeongguk’s neck.

“I missed this…”

“I know, baby. I know. I missed this too, just as much as you do.” Jeongguk whispered on
Taehyung’s temple.

That night they did what they used to, felt what they used to –but this time, both have the assurance
that they share the same feelings and that it was reciprocated.

They ate together feeding each other, they took a sexless bath together and now they’re lying on
Taehyung’s bed. There’s an addition with their past routine, pillow talk.
“Why do you like iron man so much?” Taehyung asked, rememberig Jeongguk’s iron man socks
on his hamper earlier.

“I don’t know, he’s cool? Like that one time where jarvis’ auto aim was broken and he has no
choice but to manually do it and that’s like really cool.” Jeongguk narrated, one arm raised on air,
fist closed and head tilted as if aiming for his shot.

“But Hulk’s cooler. Imagine he’s turning that huge yet his pants stay intact. Or maybe it’s his
pants that is cool?” Taehyung asked, question nonsense but hey it’s pillow talk.

“Jesus Christ, what kind of a super hero are you if you aren’t decent enough to wear pants?”
Jeongguk asked, he’s so into superhero talks that he took Taehyung’s question seriously.

“I don’t know, but imagine asking Hulk’s super pants? ‘Bro, how you holding up?’ Gguk, that
would be comical.” Taehyung laughed.

“I like Gguk.” Jeongguk muttered, feeling all soft at the nickname.

“Really? Then its baby and Gguk, you and I.” Taehyung replied, resting his head on Jeongguk’s
arm, wrapping his right arm onto Jeongguk’s waist, his legs going over Jeongguk’s.

“Yeah, Gguk and baby.” Jeongguk said, inhaling Taehyung’s hair.

“I love you, Gguk.” Taehyung said, Jeongguk’s breathing lulling him to sleep.

“I love you more, baby.” Jeongguk yawned and one moment, they’re knocked out, entangled on
Taehyung’s bed.
 For both of them it’s a new start, a fresh new start.

Chapter End Notes

VOTE BTS ON BBMAS

 Chapter 10
Chapter Notes

YAYAYA IM FREE BCHXBSHD THIS IS THE END THABK YOU FOR THOSE
EHO STAYED UP TO NOW YOU WILL BE MISSED HOHOHO THERE ARE A
LOT OF TIME LEAPS SO

See the end of the chapter for more notes

“Okay, good pose, now place your hand on your denim’s pockets and in the opening of your
jacket.”

“Lean in a bit—okay perfect!”

“Okay look at the camera, no don’t smile… okay that’s it now look tired and smug—good.”

Jeongguk can only hear Taehyung’s voice ordering him around and it’s not his will but his body
keeps moving the way Taehyung asks it to, the same whipped act he’s been sporting from years of
being together. Well he has no intentions of disobeying him. Taehyung looks so professional, so
skilled and of course, alluring.

With every flash of the camera he can feel his heart beating faster not because of nervousness no,
he’s been doing this for years now and needless to say he’s so used to all of this, to an idol’s life but
then there are heartbeats. He doesn’t know what sorcery Taehyung used against him that had him
this whipped. He’s falling, he’s been falling constantly only for one man, for Kim Taehyung.

All the time he’s spent with Taehyung, he has memories of him questioning how he deserved a
man like him. A man so pretty, so passionate, so caring and a man who loves him. Actually, there
are a lot more about Taehyung that has him head over heels, and if he were to write it in a
paragraph he doesn’t think 50K words would be enough.

He remember when he knelt and pleaded for Taehyung. That time, Jeongguk never felt extremely
happy, when he felt Taehyung’s hand on his hair. So if you would ask Jeongguk if he would still
beg for Taehyung, the answer is… he’s not sure. By the time Taehyung decide to leave him again,
he knows he’ll be out of his mind, he’ll go crazy.

“Jeongguk strike poses, all up to you!” He can hear Taehyung shouted from where the crews are.
They’re on an open field shooting for their 20 th anniversary concert posters.

He lifts his hand and placed it on his fringe looking directly on Taehyung and on his mind he
whispered,

I love you, so bad.

He can see how Taehyung looked up from his camera to him, giving him the most knowing look,
as if he heard Jeongguk, as if he felt what he said.

Jeongguk’s heart skipped a bit when Taehyung smiled, so proud and so in love. He can’t dare
break the eye contact, he’s so lost, so dazed. He’s on his 40s, and yet he’s feeling like a teenager.

He remember that one time, when he read a message on Taehyung’s phone, it was from Jihoon. It’s
a congratulatory message about Taehyung having a contract from a big company but the heart
emojis enraged him. He never pouted so hard, but the moment Taehyung kissed him damn, emojis
be damned Taehyung’s lips felt so assuring. That time he has the right to pout and stuff, but now
that he’s aged, he doesn’t know what’s with him that if it’s Taehyung the he’ll act in love,
regardless their age.

“Hey lovebirds, cut the staring contest. Jeongguk you’re done now’s my turn. Come on Taehyung
shoot mine I want to sleep already!” It was Yoongi.

Taehyung gave him a humoured look before nodding and shouting back at Yoongi.
“Okay, it’s your turn hyung!” Taehyung shouted back.

Jeongguk doesn’t know where he should focus on. Naturally it was supposed to be Taehyung, but
Yoongi is sporting this lazy ass concept and all his shot were of him lying.

“Hyung, for once have a decent pose please!” Taehyung shouted, the wind is blowing his hair, and
damn. The way his hair swayed because of the wind has Jeongguk all soft. He’ll kill for
Taehyung’s mullet.

Mullet. Jeongguk’s thoughts were starting to get dirty when someone shouted.

“Someone give my daddy a decent bed!” Jimin.

Well it’s not new, how vocal the couple are about their kinky relationship. Jimin and Yoongi
actually had a rough story but well, it isn’t Jeongguk’s story to tell.

Being an idol is actually hard but for Jeongguk, it’s tolerable especially when Taehyung was there
when everything felt so suffocating. Never in Jeongguk’s life that Taehyung wasn’t present.
Understandable. He’s his family after all.

“Know you love me boy so that I love you…” Jeongguk sings his heart out, eyes closed like he
usually does.

They’re on their 20 th anniversary concert and it brings back his youthful years, and one memory
shined exceptionally brighter, it was when he proposed to Taehyung.

That time he was in the same exact position, on stage and holding a microphone. He’s singing with
his eyes closed, pouring his heart at that particular performance because it was for the love of his
life. He opened his eyes and he saw Taehyung, part of the crowd.

“All of my life, you are all of my life…” Aside from memes, Jeongguk can relate to this song so
much for how it exactly says Taehyung’s part in his life, Taehyung is his life.

It is then that the music stopped, the lights turned off, and by the time a light was seen it was
focused on Taehyung and Jeongguk.

His breathing hitched at the sight of Taehyung, glowing under the light, looking shocked and
confused, but his sight was on Jeongguk, only on Jeongguk.

“Taehyung, baby…” Jeongguk started. He haven’t said the words yet but he can feel his tears brim
in his eyes, he’s so happy and nervous but above all, he’s so in love.

“Maybe it was my wishful thinking that made me go up to this extent of proving my love for you. I
wished for you to spend the rest of your life with me, I wished that I’ll always be the one you see
before you sleep and the first when you wake up. I wished that I was the one kissing you, hugging
you, and loving you until the end.”

His voice echoed inside the arena particularly louder than it normally does. He can hear their fans
coo at him, cheering him up. But his heartbeats were louder, so loud he’s afraid it might get up to
his mic and the speakers would be blasting how he’s so in love for Taehyung—but maybe that
isn’t a bad thing.

“I might be going ahead of myself if I were to say I’ve already bought a house for us, I already have
our future planned, well you can change all of it if you were to say yes but yeah, I already planned
a future with you. I promised you the world, but on the process of giving it to you, you slowly
became mine, my world. Funny how you gave me the world, yourself, first even before I gave you
what I promised. But baby, I need a lifetime assurance that you are mine.”
Then the lights completely vanished and a rustling sound was heard from someone’s microphone.
All the lights opened and on stage there stood Jeongguk and Taehyung, in tears. Jeongguk’s
kneeling but this time not because Taehyung is leaving him, but because Taehyung will officially
be a part of his life.

“Taehyung baby, you know that I love you. So please, will you marry me?” Jeongguk said through
his tears, hands visibly shaking as seen at the wide screen behind them, holding a box of ring.

“Jeongguk I told you so many times that I don’t need the world, I need you. And damn, yes Gguk,
I’ve been dying to marry you.” Taehyung’s deep voice echoed in the arena, but nothing compares
to how loud it ringed inside Jeongguk’s head, happiness taking over him as he break into tears and
slid the ring to Taehyung’s slender fingers.

Jeongguk opened his eyes and again saw Taehyung, still part of the crowd, looking up at him ever
so lovingly and proud.

Every lyrics and melody of the song has him weak, for it made him think of Taehyung, and
looking right at his love’s eyes Jeongguk felt the same light feeling as if he’s floating but inside
he’s drowning from so much emotions he has for Taehyung.

Jeongguk has achieved what he’s been dreaming of, to showcase the world his talent and at the
same time have Taehyung in his life. Apparently, some fans left him when he announces his love
for Taehyung. He can remember Taehyung suggesting to him to keep their relationship a secret for
a little while, for Jeongguk to build a strong bond with his fans. And that he did. But some
eventually left him when he announced that he has a life and that it was Taehyung. But there are
fans who stayed, and for Jeongguk they’re more than just a fan to him, they matter to him.

Taehyung. They both started a life with each other, achieving what they’ve been striving for and
Jeongguk can say they succeeded. Jeongguk’s group became a big name not just locally but also
globally, Western media actually acknowledged K-POP, and their group paved their way into that
success. As for Taehyung he became a quite well-known photographer, accepting projects here and
there, and there’s this big break in his career that he was asked to showcase his photo’s into an
exhibit, well known photographers acknowledging his works and from then his career bloomed.
Taehyung’s aunt was constantly leeching off of Taehyung that time, and what made Jeongguk fall
deeper was when Taehyung willingly helped his aunt, despite her coming to him just because if his
money. Well his cousin and he’s uncle were actually sorry because of her aunt’s behaviour but
Taehyung told them it was fine, when for Jeongguk it’s not.

They’re on their mid-twenties when they decided to live together. Unfortunately, they had to leave
Taehyung’s apartment for it was too far from work. They lived on a penthouse. The skyscraper
towering over the city and Jeongguk can remember how Taehyung was so enticed by the view
from such height.

“You tired?” Taehyung asks, voice so soothing.

They’re on a sofa, facing the city lights from the hotel they’re staying at right now. After the
concert they decided to stay on a hotel, because their home actually takes quite a while of driving.
They decided to live somewhere not as crowded as the city, the kind that gives fresh air and
chirping birds, the couple was elated by the thought of living in such place and Jeongguk actually
made it for them.

“Hmm.” Jeongguk answered.

Jeongguk sunk his nose deeper on Taehyung’s neck, inhaling his scent. It feels nice, cuddling with
the faint lights coming from the busy city in front of them, but nothing compares to how relaxing
Taehyung’s breathing is.

Jeongguk can feel Taehyung’s finger gently stroking his hair, shivers running down his spine at the
relaxing feeling. It’s past midnight, but Jeongguk wants to savour the moment with Taehyung, he
can’t get enough of his husband , and he wants to feel Taehyung, he wants to be well aware that
Taehyung is in his touch.

He remember that night after their marriage. After their celebration with friends and relatives
(including Jeongguk’s parents who were utterly shocked when they came to know about Jeongguk
and Taehyung’s relationship), they immediately flew to Hawaii, the place Taehyung’s been itching
to go ever since he saw this K-drama with a particular cove in view and when his favourite couple
vloggers featured it on their trip.
He can say Hawaii is indeed a paradise, especially when he have memories of his and Taehyung’s
intimate time together.

Taehyung wanted to hire a campervan and of course Jeongguk’s more than willing to do that. They
did hire one and on their first night, they went to a beach.

It was enigmatic, the beauty of the beach. It felt perfect, the sound of waves crashing and the stars
above them felt as if they were made just for Taehyung and Jeongguk.

“Baby, take off your clothes.” Jeongguk said that night, while they’re lying on top of their van, soft
mattress spread as they lay and look at the stars above them.

“H-here?” Taehyung asked. “But people might see us and—“

“No baby, I hired this area only for the both of us.” Jeongguk said rising to sit while he look on
Taehyung who’s still lying.

“B-but I’m—“

“Hush baby its fine, you’re beautiful. Now let me make you feel it.” Jeongguk’s voice was so
assuring, loving and sweet, and filled with desire.

Taehyung rose to sit and then he tugged at the hem of his shirt.

Taehyung looked exceptionally beautiful that night. The warm light of the bonfire they made on
the sands reflected on Taehyung’s face, Taehyung’s caramel skin glowing so enticingly and
Jeongguk can’t believe how lucky he is to have his man this beautiful.

They’re sitting face to face, love and desire filled their eyes. Jeongguk helped Taehyung remove
his shirt. He’s lifting it over Taehyung’s head when he felt Taehyung’s breathing against his neck,
and there Jeongguk lost his mind.

His lips came crashing to those of Taehyung’s. It was slow, so painfully slow that Jeongguk’s heart
aches from the contact, from the thought that this beautiful man loves him, and is willing to make
love with him.

Each move of their lips was on perfect rhythm. Their tongues met and Jeongguk never thought
someone can taste this intoxicatingly sweet, or maybe it’s just Taehyung, his sweet lovely
Taehyung. A string of saliva stretched between them as they parted, Jeongguk’s lips aiming to kiss
every part of Taehyung’s skin, and that he did.

He kissed every inch of Taehyung’s skin, showering the older with praises he deserves. He loved
how Taehyung’s skin shivers under his touch, how he arched his back yearning for Jeongguk.

Soon both male were naked, with Taehyung a whole mess under Jeongguk. Jeongguk kissed
Taehyung’s navel before entering him slowly, their hearts full knowing that their bodies became
one out of love.

Their van creaks as Jeongguk thrust into Taehyung, their moans filling the eerily silent surrounding
except from the waves and the rattle of burning fire, their pace as slow as the crashes of waves,
savouring every moment. But it didn’t last, soon Jeongguk is thrusting inside Taehyung
senselessly, both male losing their minds from the pleasure and by the time they released, Jeongguk
fell on top of Taehyung, panting.

“Taehyung, baby, I love you.” Jeongguk panted on Taehyung’s neck. Jeongguk knows he did a
good job at worshipping Taehyung’s body when Taehyung looked into his eyes and smiled so
lovingly and content.
“I love you so much more, Jeongguk.”

Their night didn’t end there. They made love through the night, by the sands, inside their van and
even in their hotel room. They seized their honeymoon in Hawaii, filling every memory with
intimacy and love.

“Gguk are you asleep?” Taehyung asked, the hand stroking his hair ceasing.

“No, baby I’m still awake.” Jeongguk mumbled against Taehyung’s neck.

Sometimes Jeongguk think it’s Taehyung’s neck that’s where he belongs to, turns out he was
wrong, he belong to the whole Taehyung, and he won’t settle with just a piece of him, no. He loves
him too much even the whole Taehyung can’t sate him, he can’t get enough of him.

“Come on, let’s go to bed now.” Taehyung urged him to stand, and that he did.

He lay on their bed and Taehyung scooted beside him. He’s been glued to Taehyung since they
went home but he can’t stand being away from Taehyung’s touch. He pulled Taehyung by his
waist, and settled him on his top, Taehyung lying on his tummy on top of Jeongguk.

“Gguk? Why?” Taehyung asked, his breathe fanning onto Jeongguk’s face so subtly.

“Can I kiss you?” Jeongguk sleepily asked.

“Silly, of course you can, I’m your husband Gguk, no need to ask me that.” And it was Taehyung
who dipped his head, kissing Jeongguk so passionately.
It’s the kind of kiss that’s pure of love, no desire etched at every move. Jeongguk closed his eyes
and hugged Taehyung’s waist tightly. He’s been kissing the same lips for years now, it felt so
familiar and by now Jeongguk is accustomed to the feeling the pair of lips bring him, but each
time, it’s a lot more… tender. The mere contact of their lips has Jeongguk’s systems reeling from
happiness. No tongue entered his mouth, but love was there, too strong he can feel himself tear up.

Their usual nights was spent like that, well except they wasn’t disturbed by a girl named
Chaeyoung, their 15 year old daughter and Yeontan, their Pomeranian puppy.

It is on their lunch with their friends that they were asked if they were to build a family any time
soon now that they’re married.

“Taehyungie, don’t you want to have a child? I mean, Yeontan is your child but I think Jeongguk
would want a real child?” It was Seokjin who asked. They’re on his restaurant, with Jeongguk and
their friends.

“Yeah, Jeongguk you said you want a daughter right?” Namjoon followed up his boyfriend’s
question. Yeah, Namjoon actually had a thing with Jin when something happened between Yoongi
and Jimin that needed Jin’s help, and being Yoongi’s bandmate, Namjoon was there with Yoongi.

The two hit it off immediately after that night.

“You were thinking the same thing right, honey?” Seokjin leaned into Namjoon’s shoulder.

“Hey, hey, hey, don’t act all lovey dovey in front of me. Single here, hello.” Hoseok said at the
sight of clingy Namjoon and Seokjin.

Jeongguk didn’t want Taehyung to feel pressured, but for real he wants a daughter. They’re on their
mid-thirties so he wanted a bundle of joy except from Yeontan and Taehyung.
“Yeah, I do but I don’t want to pressure Taehyung into such responsibility.” Jeongguk said,
brushing his thumb over Taehyung’s knuckles, before kissing it.

“Whipped.” Yoongi deadpans.

“Says the one who cried when he saw me wearing cat ears and cat tail buttplug.” It was Jimin who
deadass announced how kinky he and Yoongi is, but what’s new?

“Jimin for fuck’s sake, keep it to the both of you.” Taehyung lectured at his best friend, well it
never worked. “But Gguk you know I love children just as much as I love puppies! I was waiting
all this time for you to ask me that because who knows you might not like having a child as of the
moment but—gosh I waited for nothing.”

“So a girl it is then?” Jeongguk beamed, knowing it would elate Taehyung.

“Yes, yes, I’ll be a dad now wow.” Jeongguk can see excitement in Taehyung’s eyes and upon
seeing how good human Taehyung is to doggo Yeontan, he knew he’ll be a good father someday.

And that he really is. He saw how cautious he held baby Chaeyoung on his arms, holding it so
carefully and Jeongguk felt accomplished as Taehyung’s husband when he looked up with love and
his eyes and said,

“Jeongguk she’s now our daughter, were dads now.”

Jeongguk hugged Taehyung with Chaeyoung in his arms, and there, he truly built a family with
Taehyung.
“Yes, yes baby you’re a dad now, and so am I.” Jeongguk whispered. “I love you Taehyung,” he
focused his gaze onto Chaeyoung, his daughter, “and I love you baby Chaeyoung.”

“Dad! Pa!” Chaeyoung shouted when Jeongguk and Taehyung went out of the car, now on their
home.

“Baby.” Taehyung said as their daughter hug them. “How was your prom?”

Chaeyoung was supposed to be at his Dad’s anniversary concert but she had to attend her prom so
she was left at home.

“Uhm, Dad, Pa, I got myself a boyfriend.”

The possessive fatherly role has Taehyung’s head aching, Jeongguk once challenged Chaeyoung’s
boyfriend in a ramen eating fight, immature yes but Jeongguk can’t grasp the fact that there is
another man on their daughter’s life.

Jeongguk was so against the fact that his baby girl has a boyfriend now, he can rival Yeontan’s
malicious eyebrows every time Chaeyoung’s boyfriend come to visit her at home. And Yeontan
that traitor, the dog actually liked Chaeyoung’s boyfriend probably a lot more than him. Jeongguk
predicted that because every time Taehyung’s playing with Yeontan, he’s gonna be one jealous
hooman and lay his head on Taehyung’s lap where Yeontan is wriggling his tail, acting cute in
front of Taehyung. Well who cares, he needs to feel loved too.

“Dad, please? Just three days hiking it’s not as if we’re going alone!” Chaeyoung.

“Fine, but come home pregnant and I’m knocking your boyfriend’s mind out.” Jeongguk said
cracking his knuckles.
His baby girl is growing too fast, he doesn’t know if he should feel accomplished or afraid but he
settles with both. Taehyung actually took everything just fine, like an understanding mom, except
he was a guy, but being a parent isn’t based on genders.

Being a parent is actually thrilling, because again in your life you’ll have a goal, a dream not for
yourself but for your family. Jeongguk gave his family a shelter, food, education, and the love they
deserve. He’s done a good job, didn’t he?

They have this family business as their source of income, it’s a lamb skewers resto. Well knowing
Jeongguk that would be a given since he is a meat lover but hey, the profits actually pretty huge,
enough for them to live a comfortable life.

It’s one rainy afternoon that Jeongguk woke up from his afternoon nap without Taehyung by his
side. Not to be that clingy husband but he doesn’t want to be alone in bed, considering he spent
almost 75% if his life waking up with Taehyung, it’s unsettling, he isn’t used to waking up without
Taehyung clinging onto him.

But it isn’t the rain that woke up Jeongguk, there are no loud thunders either, it was Taehyung’s
fond stare. He’s sitting by the balcony of their room, hot chocolate in his hands, looking all comfy
on their UK flag beanbag.

“Hi there, Gguk.” Taehyung said, staring as Jeongguk lift himself up from the bed going directly
into Taehyung, lifting Taehyung as he sit down and settling him on his lap.

“You went out of bed without me.” Jeongguk muttered again, in Taehyung’s neck, where his
whispers belong.

“I wanted to watch the rain, Gguk.”

From years of living with Taehyung he know full well that aside from photography, Taehyung
loved rain the most. He said it’s because of the comfortable and relaxing sound of its pouring, and
the smell of the soil once the rain ceased. Jeongguk doesn’t know if it’s because of Taehyung that
he came to love the rain too, like some biased liking or if he really do love it, even without the
thought of Taehyung’s sparkling eyes as he talk about how he loved the rain.

“Good sleep?” Taehyung asked, lips on the rim of his hot chocolate, slender fingers wrapped
around the cooled mug.

“You would’ve known if you stayed with me on bed.” It is a natural thing now, Jeongguk getting
jealous of everything Taehyung’s fond of, even with inanimate objects and yes, he’s has no shame
about it so he’s so damn vocal that he’s jealous.

Jeongguk actually doesn’t know if he’s indeed jealous or he just wanted a coo from Taehyung, but
hey he’s been doing this for years now, and the soft feeling he’s getting from Taehyung’s coos are
actually for keeps, and maybe that is why he is still acting all childish when it comes to Taehyung.

“Don’t tell me you’re jealous of the rain?” He can hear humour in Taehyung’s voice but it he
knows it won’t be a humorous voice that’’ talk to him in the end.

Jeongguk chose not to answer, he only snuggled a little closer to Taehyung’s neck.

“Aw, Jeonggukie you love me that much?” And its starting.

“You should be well aware of that by now.” Jeongguk adjusted Taehyung in his lap, turning him to
looke forward as he back hug him. “You said you’ll always take me with you, but you left me for
the rain. Hah, funny.”

“Gosh, Gguk I was just inside the same room as you!” Taehyung sounded ridiculed, well who
wouldn’t? “You know I love watching the rain, Gguk. But you know what else I love doing the
most?”
“Me.” Jeongguk retaliated.

“No, pervy.” Taehyung replied, and if Jeongguk actually felt scared to hear what Taehyung loved
the most that wasn’t him, he wouldn’t show.

“It’s watching you sleep.” Taehyung chuckled. “I’ve always thought that nothing can rival the
comfort rain gives me until you, my Ggukie, came along and slapped right into my face that ‘hey,
I’m thrice better than your rain.’ But technically, yes. It is you that I love the most.”

Jeongguk only gripped Taehyung’s waist tighter, knowing the rain has no say when it comes to
comforting Taehyung. Huh, nice try bruh.

“But don’t leave me alone in the bed next time. You said you’d take me with you, always. And by
that you should literally do it.” There’s the kind of childishness that is sweet and alluring, far from
the irritating and suffocating shit that most people, the immature ones, do. But Jeongguk is sporting
the first one, and needless to say Taehyung’s heart is swollen from too much pride that he made
Jeongguk like this, so adorably clingy.

“But I do have you with me always.” Taehyung said.

“Really? I don’t feel like it.” Jeongguk lifted his face from Taehyung’s nape and planted his chin
on his shoulder.

“Seriously Jeon, you want me to do it literally? Is that why you’re weeping over the bathroom’s
door this morning while I’m pooping? Gosh, Gguk that’s gross.” Taehyung sighed. “But yeah as I
was saying I always have you with me, in my heart, perched in every corner. I know I’d sound
absurd but it’s you that’s my heart is beating, it is you that’s running in my veins wait—that’s not
absurd that’s more like…nerdy. But yeah, I always have you with me.”
 “Baby, the absurd part was supposed to be my line.” Jeongguk teased, his smile so wide his face
might rip into two.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” A sip from his chocolate drink. “I love you, Gguk.”

“And I love you more, baby. Take me with you?”

“Always will.”

Chapter End Notes

IDNSNDJSJNSJD 2 AND A HALF HOURS AND ITS BTS' COMEBACK IM

JDBSJSB IM ALREADY MALFUNCTIONING HYPE WITH ME ON TWT
@gukfortae_

and yes i just deadass promoted the 'coming soon' yoonmin fic

Please drop by the archive and comment to let the author know if you enjoyed their work!