Why Do I Feel So Afraid?

“Why do I feel so afraid?” I keep asking myself as I’m about to take a step outside my room. I
feel like everyone around me is watching me, and what’s worse is that I feel like they’re watching and
waiting for me take a wrong step and laugh at me. I don’t know why I feel so afraid, when did it start, and
where did it happen. I don’t know. All I know is that my fears have devoured me and it created a very
sturdy wall between me and the world.
My fears have made me anti-social to the point that I already want myself to be invisible. I don’t
want people to see me. I don’t want to be around with people I’m not comfortable with. It’s because
others might not see me the way my comfort zone sees me. I know that the world has become too
judgmental. And this sad reality has made me come more afraid even more. What if my flaws were too
faulty to them? What if they talk about me behind my back? But what do I care if they do? What do I
care? The truth is, I do care. I am afraid because I care about how other people see me. I care about how
other people talk about me. I care too much and that has made me become a prisoner of my own fears. I
could not live my life the way I wanted it because I am afraid of what other people might say. I live up to
other people’s expectations about me, that’s why I’m scared to be able to meet their expectations. I know
I should not live up to that or I should not even feel afraid of just being myself because this is me. As long
as I don’t do anything wrong to hurt other people, I should not be afraid, but why do I feel so scared?
Why these fears can’t free me? I hate how I feel so afraid because I am being consumed by these fears
and anxieties, I don’t know what to do anymore. I just want to run away or hide or cry. I don’t know
anymore.
What’s even more scary is the fact that I am slowly becoming the person I am not. It’s like my
fears are slowly turning me into either a silent monster or a silent killer. A silent monster that could
devour her own self, or a silent killer that could take away her own life. I didn’t know fears could be these
fierce. I just hope I find the answers to my questions before it’s too late. I don’t want to be scared
anymore. I hope won’t. Anymore…