The focused idea is presented in a

Text 1
developed manner. Unity is achieved in
Text 2
The focused idea has poor
this text through the use of thesis
unity as it is only in one
statement, topic sentence in each
paragraph with supporting details, and paragraph. There is a quick
a concluding sentence that made the transition of two supporting
U text not confusing at all. details and these are synthesized U
N in a paragraph which is confusing. N
I Thesis Statement: SNS, specifically For example, the details about I
T Facebook, have become an integral
communicating and for academic T
Y part of our lives. Y
Topic Sentence: 1st paragraph – first purposes are joined. It just
sentence became as the supporting
2nd paragraph – second sentence sentence of the main idea when it
Supporting details: (Sentences after should be a topic sentence
the topic sentence in the body) supported with details if in a
Concluding sentence: Facebook is a
separated paragraph.
viable tool for personal and academic
success.
The proper organization is achieved The proper organization is not
O as ideas are logically and accurately achieved as the arrangements of ideas O
R arranged. It has a beginning, middle, are not in order in the paragraph. It R
G and end/conclusion; and the sentences jumped from one detail to another G
within the paragraph are organized without the use of proper signal words.
logically.
As the ideas are organized well, the
text achieved coherence and cohesion. Lacks order of the sequence or
COHERENCE COHERENCE
It contains cohesive element like the shifting of details. The transition /
/
COHESION
use of “for instance”, “undoubtedly”, word “also” is redundant. Coherence COHESION
and “nevertheless”; and these are used and cohesion are poorly achieved.
in a non-redundant way. Transitions Progression cannot be sensed.
are effectively used.
L
Formal language in an Informal language in a subjective L
A A
tone is used. This text discusses
N objective tone is used. The N
G personal thoughts. Consistency with
U
usage of clear and concise the pronoun’s point of view is also
G
U
A sentences, the use of precise lacking. For instance, “I can even use it A
G G
E
vocabulary, and the appropriate to invite them for, say, a dinner or
E
level of formality is highly party. In just one click, you will have
U an instant invitation”, from the pronoun U
S observed. “I”, it is changed into “you”. S
E E
Redundancies can be noticed as well.
M It has the proper use of Abbreviation of Facebook can be M
E seen many times. Readers would not E
C
spelling, punctuation, and recognize the meaning behind the C
H capitalization. Standard abbreviation “FB” because the word H
Facebook was not mentioned at all.
A
English is used and there is Contractions in this text can be
A
N N
I no abbreviation at all. frequently seen like the use of “I’d”, I
C “we’re”, and “I’ll”. C
S S