SCENE 1

A1- Lets see how the first period MATH goes

Vedant- Hey, happy new year everyone! (all wish) How did you all
celebrate?

(all discuss)

Atul: Unpack fast! First period is maths!

Charan: I am so sleepy!

[Geeta ma’am]: Good morning, children!

Children (in a sing-song tone): Good morning, maam

(Geeta ma’am waves her hand in the air like a conductor at the
orchestra while they wish)

[Geeta ma’am]: Done?

Children (in a chorus): Yes, ma’am

(Geeta ma’am shakes her head, then takes a child’s book)

[Geeta ma’am]: Today, we will start- (Interrupted by a student)

[Devansh]-: ma’am ma’am ma’am, may I go to the washroom?

[Geeta ma’am]: In the first period itself? What, in my period only you’ll do
this?

(Geeta ma’am disgusted)

Ishaan: Long time, no see ma’am

Geeta ma’am- Yes, I missed you all during the vacation.

[Vedant]: On the occasion of Math being the first period of this new year,
I would like to ask everyone a question. A man dug underground and
found treasure worth $10000 under a tree, but came back up with only
$100 dollars. Why?
 [Geeta ma’am]: Oh well, at least I know you have revised your concepts
so well that you can now create stupid questions.

[Vedant]: I know ma’am, I am very smart. Anyone? (Everyone shakes

their head)

[Vedant]: Ma’am, it appears you know the answer.

[Geeta ma’am] (reluctantly): He returned with $100 dollars because it

was $10000 dollars under root.

(Vedant gives a hi-fi to Tanishq)

[Mahir]: Ma’am can I ask the next question? (Geeta ma’am nods) Which
month has 28 days?

[Geeta ma’am]: Every month obviously!

[Sidhant]- Ma’am next is me

[Geeta ma’am]: No. Absolutely not, we have to complete our portion.

Anyways, As I was saying, today, we will start with a new chapter,
Logarithms. It is a very small chapter, we will be learning the core
concepts such as the laws and representation, and you will study-
(Interrupted by Mahir)

[Mahir]: Maaaa’am, what about anti-logs, cologarithm, and mantissa?

[Geeta ma’am]: I was just getting to that. Why don’t you come here and
teach?

[Mahir]: Sure, ma’am (Gets up grins)

[Geeta ma’am]: No, sit down!

(Mahir sits down)

[Geeta ma’am]: So, as I was saying before I was interrupted (gives a

look to Mahir), the concepts that Mahir just talked about will get
introduced in your higher classes, why all this confusion from this grade
only... Now, can anyone tell me what- (Interrupted by Devansh)

[Devansh]: Ma’am may I come inside ma’am?

[Geeta ma’am]: -logarithms are? (waves at devansh to come in)

[Devansh]: What did we do?

[Sidhant]: Timepass. What were you doing for so long?

[Devansh] (delayed, grins): Timepass.

[Geeta ma’am]: Now, can anyone- (Tanav raises his hand, and the
teacher looks at him. Tanav gets up, takes a deep breath)

[Tanav] (in one breath): A quantity representing the power to which a

fixed number, the base, must be raised to produce a given number.
(exhales)

Everyone grumbles and mutters “FIT-JEE student”

[Geeta ma’am] (folds arms): Ay who asked you to answer?

[Tanav]: Ma’am, you just told to raise our hands

[Geeta ma’am] (shakes head): Stand up, and you will not answer
anymore.

(Tanav stands up)

(Geeta ma’am):FIT-JEE student

[Geeta ma’am]: Can anyone tell me what indices are?

(Krisha raises her hand. Geeta ma’am nods)

[Krisha] (to audience): YouTube is a fraud, they told me if I raised my

hand with full confidence, ma’am would not ask me to answer.

[Kisha] (to the teacher now): So, ma’am, basically…uh, I will give you an
example. If someone writes 2^3, they mean 2+2+2, which is 6!

Geeta ma’am: Very good!!

[Ishaan] – maam I know. Indices in Maths is the power or exponent

which is raised to a number or a variable.

[Geeta ma’am]- wah ishaan, good job, first time I am proud of you.
[Geeta ma’am]- I think we are done for the day.

[Pranav]: Ma’am can we play some game?

(Geeta ma’am gives him a look. Bell rings. Geeta ma’am gets up)

Geeta ma’am: Don’t sing

Children (chorus): Good morning and thank you, ma’am

[Geeta ma’am] (jolly): Ha ha thank you thank you (goes of with book)

SCENE 2 (Sanvi R + 11 s)

A2 (Next period is Physics. The monitor, Mihika, stands near the board.
Everyone gathers around Ishaan except her)

A2- Welcome to the 2nd period- Physics

[VK]: No one will remind ma’am that she will take an oral test today,
okay?

[Pranav]: Why would we? We did not read and come

(Everyone looks at Mihika)

[VK] I do not think she read either.

[Shamael]: She is the moniter! You think she wont read?!

(Nishka was standing on watch)

[Nishka]: Ma’am came Ma’am came!

(Everyone gets back to their places, and stands up)

(Sujatha ma’am just enters the class, when Devansh goes to her)

[Pranav]: Ma’am, may I go to the washroom?

[Sujatha ma’am]: You did not even let me enter the class. Go! Come
back faster than the speed of light or else i'll not let you in (looks at
class)

(Sujatha ma’am goes to the table, and does nothing. She surveys the
class. Every student is dreading the moment when she will ask
questions and stress reading. Silence.)

[Sujatha ma’am] (opens book): Okay children, open the book to Laws Of
Motion, Someone please read from where we left.

(Everyone is relieved, Ishaan punches the air, Sujatha ma’am notices]

[Sujatha ma’am]: What, did you win some war?

[VK] (to himself): Something like that

[Sujatha ma’am]: Okay, so- (interrupted by Mihika, who raises her hand)

(Everyone is terrified and signal “no”)

[Mihika]: Ma’am, you said you would conduct an oral test today.

[Shamael] (dramatic): No!

[Sujatha ma’am]: Did not study? Cannot break your siblings limbs thrice,
am I right?

[Shamael] (melancholic tone): Ma’am, I could not study…my…father’s

uncle’s son died.

[Sujatha ma’am]: Oh! I am sorry that you lost your uncle

[Shamael]: Oh, not my uncle, ma’am. He is fine, my father’s uncle’s dog

died. He considered him as his own son, he grew up with my uncle.

(everyone laughs)

[Sujatha ma’am]: Should have known that

[Aarish]: Ma’am, may I come in?

[Sujatha ma’am]: We were waiting for you only

(Aarish walks in embarrassed)

[Aarish]: (nudges tanishq) Let me guess, timepass.

[Tanishq]: Absolutely.

[Sujatha ma’am]: Ok so my first question is to Rohith. Explain the laws of

motion.

[Rohith]: Ma’am I know only the last line of it

[Sujatha ma’am]: Ok, tell the last line

[Rohith]: and this is called the laws of motion

[Sujatha ma’am]: (sighs, disappointed look)

[Sujatha ma’am]: My next question to Aashvi. State The First Law Of

Motion.

[Aashvi]: I studied this and came! I know! Bodies in motion remain in

motion, and bodies at rest stay in bed until their mothers wake them up!

[Nishka]: I bet Isaac wishes the whole tree fell on him instead of the
apple.

[Sujatha ma’am]: Stop it both of you! What answer was that? Obviously,
if you study memes instead of your textbook, you will give such answers!
And Nishka, Sir Isaac Newton is not your uncle that you will call him by
name.

So, I don’t think anyone has read and come, so I will just continue
teaching I guess.

Ok, so can someone tell me what gravity is. Gravity is what holds us
back..

[Pranav]- yes- holding us back and rocks his chair!

(Sujatha ma’am is frustrated. Anshu comes in with a message)

[Sujatha ma’am]: I must go down to the office. Mihika, please make sure
the class is quiet.

Pranav: Ma’am games!

[Sujatha ma’am]: Cannot learn the laws, and you want to play games.
(leaves)

(Bell rings)

([TANISHQ] is sleeping [VK] is behind him, and [SIDHANT] in the front.

[VK] frames him by hitting SID from behind. SID looks back and lets it
go. Repeats. SID loses his patience, and hits [TANISHQ])

SIDHANT: Trying to play a prank, huh?

VK (hits TANISHQ): What is this Tanishq, why are you hitting him?

[Tanishq] (Not understanding anything): When did I hit-

[Sidhant]: Stop lying! (Gets hit again)

[VK]: Yeah, stop lying, tanishq! (Hits him)

(everyone laughs)

[Sidhant]: Okay fine! I am sorry, fine bro? See, I will hit myself (hits
himself), happy? Now please let me sleep. (Goes to sleep)

[VK]: Do not wake him up. (Rubs palms together) Chemistry will be fun

SCENE 3( Saachi + 10s)

A3( It is Chemistry now. Srinidhi ma’am enters the class and goes to the
table. She sees tanishq yawning and distracted, and stares at him for a
while. Vk whispers in tanishq's ear, he immediately gets up and wishes
ma’am)

A3: Its now time for Chemistry!

[Sidhant] (Sleepy): 5 minutes Mom

(Devansh whispers in Sidhant’s ear, he immediately wakes up)

[Sidhant] (sing-song tone): Good morning, ma’am!

[Srinidhi ma’am]: What happened, stayed up late? I know what you all do
staying up at night

(tanishq looks down)

[Srinidhi ma’am]: Okay. So you all know the reactivity series right, lets
start with that.

(everyone starts counting on fingers)

[Srinidhi ma’am]: Mihika write it on the board

[Mihika] (proudly walks upto board and writes)

[Srinidhi ma’am]: Good, now we all know reactions with the first
elements are more reactive than others. Does anyone know how they
are used? Magnesium? (looks at class)

[Adhunaa] Ma’am yesterday only i burst!! FIREWORKS

[Srinidhi ma’am]: Yes, because it burns with the brightest flame..

(everyone claps, shamael stands proudly)

[Srinidhi ma’am]: Why do I feel like I am forgetting something?

(Everyone looks at Adhunaa in terror)

[Adhunaa]: You are forgetting something, ma’am. We had a review

today on all the topics we have learnt till now.

(Everyone else facepalms)

[Srinidhi ma’am]: Oh yeah! Thanks for reminding me, dear! Take out
your notebooks. No time for revising, it is a short review. I will correct it in
this period itself and we will discuss after.
(Everyone is in a hurry and scared. Devansh walks up to Srinidhi ma’am)

[Devansh]: Ma’am-

[Srinidhi ma’am]: No, you may not.

[Devansh]: But-

[Srinidhi ma’am]: No.

(Devansh gets back. Srinidhi ma’am hands out sheets)

[Srinidhi ma’am]: You have 20 minutes; your time starts now.

[Aarish]: Ma’am I did not get my review notebook. Can I write on a

separate paper?

[Srinidhi ma’am]: Yes! Please! How much ever we announce the dates
earlier, still you come up with these stories.

(Charan tries to cheat with Samvedya; Samvedya is making hand

gestures)

(Samvedya stops signalling when he sees Srinidhi ma’am behind him.

Charan is confused]

[Srinidhi ma’am]: If you only were smart enough to know you should not
have cheated. Oh, and don’t think you are safe, Samvedya, your 5
marks are gone.

[Samvedya]: But ma’am I did not do anything. It was Charan

[Charan]: No ma’am

A2- 20 minutes later, everyone has submitted the books, Srinidhi ma’am
has corrected the books and handed them out. Looking at his book,
Tanav then walks up to Srinidhi ma’am)

[Tanav]: Ma’am, why did you give me 9/10?

[Srinidhi ma’am]: Spelling mistake, no arguing.

[Tanav]: But ma’am, it is the same thing! Dobereiner or Dobereigner with
a G, how does it matter. Rein and reign are similar!

[Srinidhi ma’am]: Sorry, tanav, but I will not give you marks, now please
go back.

[Tanav]: But ma’am-

[Srinidhi ma’am]: Please go back!

[Srinidhi ma’am]: Anyways….Samvedya, tell me one property of water

[Samvedya] H I J K L M N O which means H2O

[Srinidhi ma’am]: (facepalms)

(Srinidhi ma’am looks around, eyes Ishaan, and then and writes CaCO3
on the board)

[Srinidhi ma’am]: Do you know what this is Ishaan?

[Ishaan] (hesitation): Ca…CaCO3

(Srinidhi ma’am facepalms)

[Srinidhi ma’am]: And…what is this you have written at the end? Salt
made a joke, and it was…sodium funny?

[Ishaan]: Because laughter is the best medicine ma’am

[Srinidhi ma’am]: What did you study?

[Ishaan]: Today’s weather conditions.

[Srinidhi ma’am]: Why, you have Geography project today?

[VK]: No ma’am, today is India V Pakistan.

[Srinidhi ma’am]: The audacity you have. How often does he go

overboard?

[Shamael]: Periodically, ma’am.

[Srinidhi ma’am] (to Ishaan): See, now that is a nice one.

(Shamael walks up to Srinidhi ma’am)

[Charan]: Ma’am, can you tell the highest marks in this class?

[Srinidhi ma’am]: 10/10.

[Tanav]: Who got?!

[Devansh]: Me.

(Tanav gasps glares at Nishka)

(glares back)

[Tanishq]: Ma’am can I say a joke!

[Srinidhi ma’am gives a look and signals to say]

[Tanishq]: A neutron walks into a shop and says “I’d like a cake”. The
shopkeeper gives the cake. “How much will that be?” asks the neutron.
The shopkeeper says “For you? No charge!”

(everyone laughs, bell rings)

SCENE 4 ( Saanvi + 8s)

(Bell rings. Geography next, Vimala ma’am enters)

A1: Lets see if our OUT STANDING class makes it through Geography
atleast without getting scolded

[Vimala ma’am]: Good morning, everyone.

Everyone: Good morning, ma’am

[Vimala ma’am]: Please sit down. I will be conducting a quiz today.

About two to three questions for everyone. I will start with…Tanishq.
What is the capital of Canada?
[Tanishq]: Ma’am…C, ma’am.

[Vimala ma’am]: Really? Tell me one difference between Summer and

Winter Solstice.

[Tanishq]: Sir, Summer Solstice comes in Summer Vacation, and Winter

Solstice in Winter Vacation.

[Vimala ma’am] (mockingly): Wow. Outstanding. Anyways, next,

Gayathri, please summarise what we learnt in Topo maps.

[Gayatri]: Ma’am…shading and...more Shading and some more..

[Vimala ma’am]: How can one give such answers. Charan, India is the _

[Charan]: Overpopulated, ma’am.

[Vimala ma’am]: Really? Overpopulated?! Is this what you learn in

Grammar?

[Charan]: Ma’am, there is nothing to learn in Grammar.

(Vimala ma’am facepalms)

[Vimala ma’am]: Mihika, name three tributaries of The Nile.

[Mihika]: Yes ma’am, uh…yes, White Nile, Blue Nile…

[Vimala ma’am]: One more?

[Mihika]: Sir…Juvenile!

[Vimala ma’am]: You too?! Do all of you actually study memes?!

[Mihika]: heh

[Vimala ma’am]: never mind. Nishka, the capital of Russia?

[Nishka]: Ma’am…it is…one minute ma’am. I saw the news.

[Vimala ma’am]: Waiting.

[Nishka] (confidently): Ukraine, ma’am!

(everyone claps)

[Vimala ma’am]: The irony. Well, now I know how deep in the water you
are.

[Ishaan] (from the back of the class): Yes ma’am, below MSL, mean sea
level!

[Vedant]: Yes ma’am, as deep as The Mariana Trench, ma’am. 124

miles ma’am!

[Vimala ma’am]: God, please, please give them the knowledge to pass
this year.

[Mahir]: Ma’am, which state has the most laundry?

[Vimala ma’am]: (signals)

[Mahir]: Ma’am.. Washington!

(bell rings)

SCENE 5(

(Bell rings, Mihika is monitoring)

A2: lets hope at least now the students are tired of troubling the
teachers.

(Bell rings, Anya is monitoring) [Pranav]: Anya, I am going.

[Anya]: Where- oh, okay, never mind.

[VK]: Guys, listen!

[Nishka]: What?

[Tanav]: Guys, there is a protest going on, the school is giving us a

holiday and has called our parents. Let us pack our bags, ma’am will be
happy.
[Krisha]: How do you know?

[Ishaan]: We have our sources (smirks)

(Suhani- teacher)

(Ma’am arrives at the door, and is not surprised they have already
packed their bags.)

[Ma’am]: So, you already know. Ishaan, I suppose.

(Everyone nods. Pranav is standing behind suhani)

[Ma’am]: We were waiting for you only. Pranav you have no seriousness,
no sense of responsibility still, what is really your goal in life?

[Pranav]: Ma’am, to get rid of masks in school

[Ma’am]Wow, then you go to China only

(to others) Anyways, how did you all come to know about the school
giving a half-day?

[Mihika]- Ma’am, we all have our sources (smirks)

[Ma’am]: (sighs)Too talkative you children have become..

Mahir: (after a pause) Ma’am it’s time, can we leave?

[Ma’am]: Wait!! You need to wait for 5 minutes! Ok children, what are
todays news headlines?

[Manasvi]: Ma’am in the latest news, Biden was paid $1m a year to
teach but never taught a single class

[Ma’am]: Oh that’s interesting! Very good Manasvi!

[Tanav]: (Why can’t she talk about something other than news

[Adhunaa]: Ma’am China suspends issuing visas in Japan & South

Korea

[VK]: anyways who wants to go to china

[Tanav]: you only go to china, anyways nobody wants you here

[Ma’am]: Good Adhunaa! Keep updating your general knowledge. These

2 don’t have any seriousness so don’t mind them.

[Ma’am] (checks the time):Ok, everyone except Tanav and Ishaan may
leave, they will meditate for 15 minutes.

Everyone: Thank you ma’am!

We apologize for all the jokes made about each subject which are
unacceptable in real life. This is work of fiction and satire. Thank you