Conflict

Resolution
What is Conflict?
 Conflict is…
A strong disagreement between people’s ideas and/or
feelings that often results in an argument.

When conflicts are thought of as a competition where one

person wins and the other loses, the disagreement may only be
resolved short-term. Helpful ways to resolve conflict involve
win-win outcomes where both parties work together to find
a solution where everyone wins.
 Conflicts can…
● Improve problem solving skills
● Be a good opportunity for healing and growth
● Allow us to look at things from a different perspective
● Help you learn more about yourself
But Conflicts can also…
● Lead to blaming, criticising, and defensive behaviors
● Keep us from making/keeping friends
● Make us stressed, frustrated, or even angry
● Reduce productivity (nothing can be done!)
 Discussion
● What happened?
● How do you think they felt?
● Who has been impacted by the
conflict? In what way?
● What do you think they need to
do to make things right?
Steps to Resolve Conflicts
1. Calm Down
2. Determine the Size of the Problem
3. State & Understand What the
Problem Is
4. Apologize Well
5. Find a Solution Together
1. Calm Down
Wait to solve the problem until you are calm!
Things you can do:
● Count to 10
● Take 5 deep breaths
(or as many as you need!)
● Walk away
● Take a break
2. Determine the Size of the Problem
How serious is the problem?
3. State & Understand
What the Problem Is
● Find out what each person involved
thinks the main problem is
(Sometimes people see things differently)
● Be honest and own up to your mistakes
● Use “I” Statements
I feel…
“I” Statements
I feel (emotions) when (incident)
because (explanation) .
Examples:
● I feel hurt when you call me names
because I really don’t like them.
● I feel angry when you ate my cake without asking
me because I was going to save it for my mom.
 Role-play

The supervisor gave you a time-out

because she thought you pushed a friend,
but you were just trying to help him stand
up.

What can you say to her?

I feel (emotions) when (incident) because (explanation) .

 Role-play
You and your friend are playing handball.
The ball bounces twice in your square.
Your friend calls, ‘You’re out!’ You argue
that your rules are different and the ball is
allowed to bounce twice.

What can you say to him?

I feel (emotions) when (incident) because (explanation) .

4. Apologize Well
A good apology must include the 3 R’s:
Regret, Responsibility, Remedy

Use the words, “I’m sorry.”

● Acknowledge exactly how you made a mistake.
“I used unkind words that hurt you.”
● Tell the person how you’ll fix the situation.
● Promise to behave better next time.
● Ask for forgiveness.
 Poor Apologies
● Justify words or behavior
● Blame the victim
● Make excuses
● Minimize the consequences
“It was just a joke!”
 5. Find Solutions Together
and Move Forward
When possible...
● Brainstorm solutions together
● Come up with and agree upon a
way to solve the problem

And move forward with…

● Fist bump
● Handshake
● High 5
● “Thank you!”
Questions or
Comments?