Name : Dewi Sartika

Official Number : A1M221046

Assignment : 1st Journal

Yourself Now to Yourself Five Years Ago

Dewi Sartika is the name that my parents gave me when I was born on 4
April 2002. I was born in Muna island but 3 months after being born, my parents
brought me to Kota Kinabalu Sabah, Malaysia. I was just an ordinary kid since I
was born. Even five years ago I think, I’m still an ordinary person. I do whatever I
want to do, eat whatever I want to eat, play whenever I want to, study whenever I
felt like it, etc. There aren't many differences between myself now to me five
years ago, the things that I feel changed in me are my personality, my point of
view on friendship, and how I dealt with my problems.

There aren't a lot of changes in me for the past 5 years, especially in my

personality. I am still a jovial person like I was five years ago. I’m not selective in
making friends. I’ll accept whoever wants to be my friend without a second
thought. But what are changes in me over the past five years is that I become more
and more insecure in how I treat my friends, did I do a good job in being their
friend? Have I ever made a mistake while being with them? What kind of person
am I in their eyes? I also felt insecure whenever I talked to my parents about my
daily life, I’m afraid that I didn’t fulfill the expectation that my parents were
having in me.

Other than my personality, my point of view on friendship was also

change. Five years ago I thought that when I was making friends, I need to be
their priority, and they need to be o on my side no matter what. But now as time
goes by I think I have been making mistakes with a lot of my friends from five
years ago. I realized that friendship doesn’t work like that. We need to be honest
with ourselves and not selfish. We need to remind our friends whenever they were
making mistakes whether they realized them or not and always help them
sincerely when they need help.

Not only did my point of view on making friends change, but how I dealt
with my problems also changed. Five years ago I used to panic, cry, and run
whenever a problem come to me. I’m too afraid of the situation and the reality
that will face me. I was too selfish at that time. But now, as time goes by, I
learned from my past that running away, and taking action without thinking will
only make the problem worse than how it was supposed to be. So now, I am brave
enough to face my problem and solve it on my own feet. Even though sometimes I
cried due to the burden, the good thing is that I don’t and won’t run anymore.

So in brief, the distinction between me now and five years ago was not
much. I was only becoming more adult than I was five years ago. From how I
treat my friends, my family, and also myself. There are still many lacks that I feel
about myself, sometimes I feel lost, sad, and angry without reason. But I do
believe that I will be able to be better in how I live my life. I will always try to be
better and better as time goes by and do the things that I want to do, eat what I
want to eat, and be the person that I want to be voluntarily and without hesitation
anymore.