As much as I wanted to start this session with all the inspiring messages and a light of hope, I

wanted to be as human as I am; and be transparent and vulnerable at least.

Honing yourself is not and will never be easy, perhaps that is why we ignore that responsibility
and hone others instead. The question now is why do we find it hard to hone ourself? Because
honing yourself means having yourself as your own critique, and by far, the biggest critique you
could ever possibly meet is yourself. Only if you allow yourself to be vulnerable, be completely
and unreservedly honest to yourself, could you only hone yourself in its extent.

Have you received criticisms from others? Have you received criticisms from yourself? Which
weighs more? I would say a criticism from myself. I criticize myself a lot, and at some way, it
has honed me into being the woman that I am today. It gets harsh at times, but it has to be
balanced in some way because what I think of myself will most likely what transpires, will most
likely what I will be.

I will only ask three main questions today, in hopes that we can find lessons to keep.

1.) Why do we need to hone ourself?

2.) Why do we need to hone ourself first?
3.) How do we hone ourself?

Why do we need to hone ourself?

You have to put in mind that the first and second question are different. As I have said earlier, it
is a responsibility. No one could go through you more than yourself. No amount of motivation
can inspire more than yourself. Not even this talk could educate you more than yourself.

I would not go as far as telling you the famous quote "at the end of the day, you only have
yourself". I wouldn't agree much of that. Take note of the words "more than yourself", people
could go through you, people could motivate you, this talk could educate you, but not more than
what you could do for your own. Nobody could hone you the way you are supposed to be honed;
it is only yourself who knows that. What I would rather try to impose is the strongest drive you
can have is from within. You were never alone; it is just it is ONLY YOU that could have the
greatest impact to yourself.

Skit: Anyone here who has a special someone? Girlfriend? Boyfriend? Have you heard them say
"I know you more than anyone else". Even them could not know you more than yourself. You
shouldn't let that happen. Dapat jud ikaw ang mas kaila sa imong kaugalingon.

You know yourself so much and by refusing to hone yourself is denying yourself to know you
more. The capabilities you could unlock, the qualities you are yet to foster, the person that you
can be. You hold so much power in you yet you don't invest it to yourself. A wise man once said
to me that the biggest investment that's free in this world is investing on yourself. It costs nothing
to hone yourself, even better, it will fortune you. It is the only intangible rich that cannot be
taken away from you. There is no reason for you to close doors to this kind of wealth. There is
no reason for you to not hone yourself.

So, why do we need to hone ourself? Because why not?

Why do we need to hone ourself first?

Simple, because yourself is the innermost and the only layer in the interior of growth. Everything
other than yourself should and belongs to the exterior.

Let us not take honing ourself first as synonymous to selfishness or the neglect to hone others.
Selfishness is honing ONLY yourself; growth is honing yourself FIRST.

As I mentioned earlier, no one could go through you more than yourself. It goes the same for
everyone, no one could go through them more than themselves. So, save yourself your time, save
yourself your energy and prioritize yourself.

Prioritizing is far from selfishness.

Now, here is why the first and second question are different (why do we need to hone ourself and
why do we need to hone ourself first). In the first question, there is still no priority, we just
answered why do we need honing. In the second question, we already have a prime person of
interest, a priority, YOU.

While it is possible to hone yourself while honing others, we must put emphasis on "first"
(honing ourselves first). It should be the other way around; you could hone others if you hone
yourself first. If you pour your time putting their growth first thinking that you could get a lesson
or two from it, you will end up exhausted with less to nothing left for you. On top of your
priorities must be yourself. There are areas in you that craves for improvement, nourishment, and
fostering that leaves unattended if you invest more to them than more to you.

Skit: Because you'd come to think "Amie, I already know why do I need to hone myself, pwede
man siguro na i hone nako akong self by honing others." Let's have an example to look at. On
romantic relationships, there is nothing wrong with helping your lover grow, there is nothing
wrong with putting them in a high pedestal, there is even nothing wrong if you prioritize them
but when you help them grow before you help yourself grow, put them in a higher pedestal than
yourself, prioritizing them before you prioritize yourself, it will for sure take a lot from you. As
the famous saying goes "love yourself first before you could love someone else".

It is truly satisfying to know that you have influenced one's growth but the true satisfaction
comes with contentment, and it is when you realize you have unlocked more of you, knowing
yourself more, knowing what else you possess, areas to improve, to work on.

We have families, friends, colleagues, a lover perhaps but they know us only to an extent, while
you yourself can go to your deepest depths. You should know yourself better than anyone else.
You could help build people as people can help build you, and even that cannot bring out what
actually lies in you. It is only yourself. If you have developed into the person that you ought to
be, only then could you share some of you. You cannot share what you don't possess. You
cannot hone others if you cannot hone yourself. Honing yourself first is knowing your sense of
purpose and that is what will keep you equipped in this life. If you know your sense of purpose,
you won't be easily strayed away from your track.

Yet again, we ask why do we need to hone ourself first? Because everything else will follow.

How do we hone ourself?

I would answer this generally because the extent of personal growth varies from person to
person. There is no uniform answer on how to hone one's self. However, I would like to take this
opportunity to share how I did it (trying to be as general as possible).

It should be noted above all, that honing ourself first should not be compromised by guilt. The
guilt of looking selfish should be out of the picture. Free your thoughts from that idea so you
could fully cater yourself. As I've said earlier prioritizing is far from selfishness.

1.) Allocate a time for yourself

2.) Acknowledge the areas of you that you still need to work on
3.) Know your strengths and nurture them
4.) Utilize these strengths to its best abilities

Allocate a time for yourself

Learn to enjoy your own company ("me time"). Reserve a time of reflection that is only for
yourself. It could be DAILY (before you end your day) or WEEKLY (before you end your
week); could also be MONTHLY (before you end the month).

On this time of reflection, ask yourself how your day, week or month went, recall what you did
and what is the highlight of that day, week, or month; and as you recall, always ask yourself in
the end: what things are you most grateful for that day, week, or month. It could be whenever
(basta dili lang kalimtan mag hatag oras sa sarili). I said whenever for a reason; because we have
different things going on in life and therefore different time that we could spare for this kind of
reflection. Some days are just bad, some days are tiring, we can also be so busy (days when we
try to fit many things or days in just one day so are just left with sleeping time, minsan wala pa
gane). So, whenever you can free yourself, enjoy this with your own company.

Acknowledge the areas of you that you still need to work on

We fall short at times; we cannot have everything as our forte. It is what makes us human. We
have areas that we want ourselves to best at, yet we are not born with it, and we have to
acknowledge that. And we don't just stop at acknowledging, we have to work on it.
I met with the other speakers the other night and they mentioned a phrase that encapsulates this
idea. "You are a work in progress". Your growth is a continuous learning, there are pauses for
sure (sometimes life gets rough), but growth will find its way to continue.

Be kind to yourself and practice self-compassion as you work on yourself. Recognize that
everyone has areas of improvement, and it's a natural part of growth.

Know your strengths and nurture them

You should know yourself very well in order to know your strengths. Unlocking your potential
starts with recognizing the power that lies within you. When we understand our unique abilities
and actively cultivate them, we unlock a pathway to self-improvement, success, and fulfillment.
We should explore the importance of knowing our strengths, taking ownership of their
development, and the benefits it brings to our lives. As the famous philosopher once said
"knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom".

While others can point out what your strengths are, it is better that you know it yourself, these
are potential indicators of your strengths.

Skit: Pag icomplement ta, muingon tag "nah wala rana uy" "dili uy".

Utilize these strengths to its best abilities

Master your strengths and make use of those. Make it so powerful that you can help yourself
shift the area that you are working on to become one of the many strengths you possess.
Cultivate a growth mindset that sees these areas as opportunities for improvement and learning.
Instead of seeing areas of you that needs improvement as weaknesses, reframe them as valuable
learning opportunities. Use your strengths to fuel your motivation and determination to
overcome whatever is in yourself that challenges you.

To tell you a story, I was a shy kid, and I still am. While I stand and talk here for minutes, I still
get shy. A shy, young Amie wondered how do I not just stand in the shadows when I have so
much potential in me that would be of no use if I remain to be where I am (acknowledging the
areas that I still need to work on). All my years in grade school, I was a normal student.

I know deep in my heart of hearts that I am a good listener, I thought of it as a way to reach and
connect with people. It was the strength that at first, I wasn't aware of but I came to my
realizations and gave myself a credit for it. Then high school came, and right and then and there,
I swallowed a little shyness in me and joined student organizations, student councils; and for
many years I was a student leader. Not only a student leader but I host events as well, and who
would have thought that the shy me would be on stage, be a part of the student council, I just had
to (know my strength and nurture them).

The more I listen to the demands and needs of the student body, the more I can connect with
them. Instead of allowing shyness to hold me back, I used active listening skills to ask thoughtful
questions for the study body and provide relevant comments to my colleagues in the student
council. It is how my strength of active listening helped the shyness that I have to work on. It is
how I (utilized my strengths to its best abilities).

Long 6 years of high school passed and I brought that lesson to college with me. I wanted to give
myself another shot (wanted to nurture it further) and so, I auditioned for the host pool in Ateneo
and applied to Ateneo SAMAHAN Productions. I got accepted to both eventually decided to
choose to be a part of the ASP. I acknowledged my strengths yet again, and believed I got what it
takes to be there, to grow there. I know what I am capable of and I was ready to fill my cup with
lessons, experiences, and most of all, I was ready to nurture myself. It is a continuous growth.

I was a trainee for a semester, became a full-pledged member after it, then in only 1 year and a
half semester of being there, I was offered the highest position of being the Department Director.
Doubts came again. All of the previous Department Directors were Mass Communication
students. It is their forte, events, music, sound, anything that a production team is responsible of.
I was a Political Science student and none of that is taught in our course.

But then, I took a time of realization and acknowledged that the areas I was constantly working
on was

I served as the Department Director and it has come to my realization that the shyness I was
working on before became a strength, humility. Not the humility that you have low regard of
yourself, but the kind of humility that knows what you are capable of I was able to

How to hone others?

This will no longer be a question once you know how to hone yourself first. It will come
naturally. People will see how

that maybe by helping them, by being a part of the system, I could grow and I did grow but not
to the extent of me. I always thought that I am a half-empty cup filling other cups, thinking
someday I would be full too. I hope I am not leading you to a bad idea, I am not saying it was
wrong nor taking a lot from me. The way I did it was wrong. We should all be filling our own
cups first so we can pour some to others.