Chapter 1 Development of the Self in Society

LIFESMARTS [LIFE]
TERM 1

CHAPTER 1: DEVELOPMENT OF THE SELF IN SOCIETY

Overview
Development of Self in Society

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SELF-AWARENESS, SELF-ESTEEM, AND SELF-DEVELOPMENT:

Self-awareness and self-esteem are closely related to one another.

Self-awareness is the way we see ourselves and think about ourselves. It is our ability to recognise both our strong points and our
weak points and to be able to make choices and decisions based on these abilities.

Self-esteem is the way we feel about ourselves. It is our image of our worth as a person.
 Self-esteem can be boosted or destroyed by the different relationships a person has with others and by the influence of external
factors such as TV and magazines.

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Factors that influence a teenager's self-awareness and self-esteem:

What my friends think about me is very important.
Getting involved in things with my family or friends always makes me feel better when I'm down.
No one is interested in you if you are not thin.
I feel really good when I score a goal in a match.
If I don't do well at school, I feel like a failure.
Without a lot of money you are nothing.
I feel good about myself when I succeed in something I do.
You have to look and act like a movie star or a pop star if you want to be a success in life.
I must have the latest fashion clothes to make me feel good.
What other people say about you
What happens in your life
How well you cope with challenges
How you respond to successes and failures
How popular you are
The media – newspapers, magazines, TV, and all social media sources like Facebook, Whatsapp, etc.

SELF-DEVELOPMENT BUILDS SELF-CONFIDENCE:

Our self-esteem and self-awareness affect the way we live our life.

If we feel good about ourselves and think highly of ourselves, we are likely to have more self-confidence.
People with low self-esteem generally lack confidence.

IDEAS TO BOOST SELF-DEVELOPMENT:

Communicate
Confide in a close friend, teacher, or family member about your lack of confidence and self-esteem.
This is called self-disclosure and can help you get an objective view of yourself through someone else's eyes.
You will realise that you have many more good qualities than you give yourself credit for.
Also try to approach people you like or want to get to know better- maybe they think you do not like them!
Successful completion of tasks or projects
Do not allow feelings of failure to get you down. Use a situation in which you think you failed to reflect and think about how you
could do things better next time in order to get the result you want.
Participate in community life
Get involved with groups and activities in your community. The more you participate, the more people you will meet and get to
know. They will also get to know you and your skills and abilities, and help you boost your confidence.
Make good decisions
Focus on solutions. If you are lacking in confidence in a particular area of your life, don't dwell on the problem. Rather think
about possible ways of dealing with it.
 Affirm others and accept compliments
Think about the way you handle compliments.
Do you shrug them off or do you take them seriously?
You are entitled to be praised and you should accept compliments paid to you.
By the same token, you should affirm others and their worth, by paying compliments to others.
Focus on your strengths
Do not focus on your weaknesses. Instead, concentrate on what you are good at and start developing these strengths.
Trust yourself
Focus on how you feel and think. Don't worry about what you think others may be thinking about you.
Try to forget about insults, real and imagined. What you think about yourself is far more important.
Be prepared
Whatever the situation, be as well prepared as possible. This will help you feel in control and raise your confidence levels.
Act confidently
Even if you do not feel confident, act as though you are. You'll be surprised at how positively people respond, which will give
your confidence a boost.

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Power, Power Relations, and Gender Roles

CONCEPTS
Power: Control over someone or something.
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Power Relations: A relationship where one person has power over the other person or persons.

Gender: Being male or female.

Masculine: Being male

Feminine: Being female

Gender stereotypes: Accepted traditional roles of men and women.

Female genital mutilation: Any procedure to remove partially or completely the external genital parts, or other injuries to the female
genital organs for cultural, religious, or other non-medical reasons.
WHAT ARE POWER AND POWER RELATIONS?
Having power means having control over something or someone. In a relationship, one person may have power over another. We
call these relationships power relations.

TRADITIONAL POWER RELATIONS:

Men have more power than women in most societies.

Men have power for a number of reasons.

One of these reasons is traditional gender roles.

These rules hold that being masculine means being dominant while being feminine means being submissive.
Another reason that has given men power is the fact that men are usually physically stronger than women.
Some men physically abuse and harm a woman if she challenges his authority or does not do things the way he likes.
Men and women have different biological roles, which has further led to men having more power.
Women bear children and in the past, they stayed at home to raise the children, while men went out to work.
Men earned money and women did not. This gave men financial power and they could decide how the money was used.
Women were dependent on men and tied down by family responsibilities such as child-rearing and other domestic roles.

CHANGING ROLES IN RELATIONSHIPS:

There have been many changes in the roles of men and women in most modern societies.

Roles in relationships have been changing- Many women who have children also have a career, which gives them equal or at
least some financial power in the home.
However, we still see today that men hold most of the power positions in the workplace.
There are still many more men who are managers and directors than women.
Some women still get lower salaries for doing the same work as men, but this is changing.
Another important shift is that people are starting to acknowledge that women who stay at home to raise children and run a
household work very hard and make a very important contribution to society.
Their role is increasingly regarded as a choice they make, and they are respected for that choice.
An interesting change in traditional roles is that there are now men who stay at home to take care of the children and the
household, while the women work and earn the money.

GENDER STEREOTYPES:
Men are traditionally the breadwinners and women stay at home to look after the children and household.

Women are also often regarded as sex objects, whose only role is to satisfy men's sexual desires.

These things all contribute to our stereotypes of men and women.

Many people all over the world are activists trying to change gender stereotypes so that people can have value for who they are,
and not whether they are male or female.

STEREOTYPICAL VIEWS OF GENDER ROLES AND RESPONSIBILITIES

Women may earn less than men for certain work
Men are promoted to positions of power instead of women
Men are allowed to smoke, drink and have affairs in some societies, while women are not.
Male sports teams get more funding and media coverage than women teams.
Women have to do more housework than men.
Women play a larger role in parenting.
Some careers are traditionally seen as just for men
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INFLUENCE OF GENDER INEQUALITY ON RELATIONSHIPS AND GENERAL WELL-BEING:

We live in a world that gives men permission to look upon women and children as their property.

Society makes men feel that they have to be dominant to be accepted as "real men".
Men are supposed to be strong and powerful, while women and children are more often seen as weak and submissive.

There are people who need to have control, power or domination in their personal relationships-
especially sexual ones.

This leads to various types of abuse:

1. Sexual abuse
Sexual abuse is when a person is forced into undesired sexual behaviour by another person.
The victim is either threatened into agreeing or is persuaded, for example by promises of gifts or money.
Girls and women are often victims of sexual abuse as they are physically weaker than boys or men.
They also often have less power at home and in society and are expected to be submissive to men.
There are many types of sexual abuse, including:
Being hugged or kissed in a way that leaves you feeling uncomfortable.
Made to watch sexual acts or look at other people's genitals.
Made to touch an older person's genitals.
Made to have oral sex.
Raped (penetrated using force or violence).
Made to pose for sexual photos.
Children are often scared to tell some they have been sexually abused.

2. Teenage pregnancy:
Having sex can lead to pregnancy.
Unequal power relations between men and women often limit women's and girls' control over sexual activity and their ability to
protect themselves against unwanted pregnancy.
Some teen pregnancies are the result of rape or other forms of sexual abuse.
Girls fall pregnant because the boy refuses to wear a condom.
In any sexual relationship both partners should take responsibility for preventing pregnancy.
Pregnant girls are left without any support from the father of the child.
It is the girl who is often made to feel ashamed of her teenage pregnancy.
Another aspect of gender inequality related to teenage pregnancy is education level.
Teenage boys with a child are much more likely to complete their schooling and go on to further studies than girls who fall
pregnant when they are still at school.
Most girls with a child do not go back to school and complete their education.
As a result they have no work skills or qualifications and have to do poorly paid jobs or are unemployed.
Teenage pregnancy due to
Peer pressure, lack of information, poverty, rape, forced to get pregnant to prove fertility.

3. Gender Violence:
Gender-based violence is violence against women based on what is often considered to be women's lower status in society.
 It includes any act or threat by men or male-dominated institutions that cause physical, sexual or psychological harm to women or
girls because of their gender.
Examples of gender-based violence include:
Domestic violence, for example, physical beating, sexual abuse, including rape, stalking, and financial control.
Traditional practices harmful to women, such as female genital mutilation.
So-called corrective rape where lesbians are raped in the mistaken belief that it will make them change their sexual
orientation.
Trafficking of women and girls for prostitution
Forced marriage in some cultures
Sexual harassment and intimidation at work

4. Sexually transmitted infections (STI's):

Men often refuse to wear a condom during sexual activity.
This puts them and their sexual partner at risk from sexually transmitted infections (STIs), including HIV and AIDS.
There are over 20 different sexually transmitted infections:
Syphilis, gonorrhea, thrush, genital warts, etc.
These diseases cause pain and often lead to infertility.
If some STIs, such as HIV and AIDS, are left untreated, they can lead to death.
The infections are passed on in the following ways:
During sexual intercourse, where the penis penetrates the vagina
During oral sex, where sexual partners touch each other genitals with their lips or tongues
During anal sex, where the penis penetrates the anus.
How do you know if you have an STI?
Sometimes there are no symptoms but typical symptoms include:
Discharge from the vagina, with an unusual colour or smell.
Discharge from the penis.
Pain or irritation when urinating.
Sores or blisters in the genital area.
Pain during sexual intercourse or bleeding afterward.

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