The Dominance That Gets You Girls

thepowermoves.com/courses/power-university/lessons/leadership-dominance/topic/the-dominance-that-gets-you-
girls

Before we reviewed leadership.

Now we will review dominance.

1. Social Dominance
Remember module 1 with all the signs of social dominance?

Now, look at this example from Beautiful Girls, the interaction between Mo and the girl:

Watch Video At: https://youtu.be/E8LYvflSTAE

He looks down, a typical submissive sign and exactly what women should do in reaction
to a dominant man.

What do you think would be Mo’s chances of seducing -or even being respected- by the
girl?

Close to zero, because she is the dominant one.

This is the rule when it comes to dominance and seduction: as the man you always
want to be more socially powerful than the girl you want to date.

If you’re also physically stronger, more intelligent, and richer, it’s all great. But the most
important trait, is that you must be more dominant.

1.2. Social Pressure

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As we have seen in Module 1, social pressure is an indicator of social dominance.
Usually, the person who puts social pressure on others is the most dominant one. And the
one who acts -or cracks- under social pressure is the subordinate one.

In short: it’s dominant individuals who wield social pressure.

And a man who puts a woman under pressure communicates he is socially in charge.

Look at this scene from the movie The Saint:

Watch Video At: https://youtu.be/Nj9FGXdci7Y

His ability to raise and release tension at will communicates “I’m in charge here”.

PRO Tip: Go more friendly in the beginning

Men must be careful with social pressure and only use it strategically.
Some women can be overwhelmed or get scared if you are too intense at the wrong time.
If you are unsure, start the interaction with more friendliness and less dominance.

1.3. Social Power Showdowns

Same as for leadership, you can have key social power showdowns that can make or break
a relationship.

Since social power is more difficult to spot, sometimes the showdown moment can
happen in seemingly innocuous exchanges.

Imagine this dialogue:

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 Her: You’re so into yourself (with a haughty look, turning away as if to refuse him)(Note:
asking her “why” or defending here would have meant putting her in the judge power
position)
Him: Me? I’m so into myself? (turns to her, gets closer to her to her face, raises his voice
but smiling: it’s a friendly counterattack) Look at you, with the slim fit biker leather jacket,
(reaches out to her scarf) the Italian scarf, the coiffed hair (touches her hair). Yeah, nice try
(pats her head, a “babying power move”)
Her: (lowers her eyes, smiles, she’s happy of the compliments… And for being socially out-
powered)

This is similar to an exchange happened to me some time ago, and little later we went
back to my place.
I cannot re-run the interaction to test it, but I’m fairly confident this was the biggest
turning point on the way to bed.

In the power showdown lesson, we said you must rebuild goodwill right after.
But here there is no need to rebuild because my re-assertion comes as a consequence of
her trying to jokingly push my boundaries.
Plus I also compliment her as I push it back on her.

2. Intellectual Dominance
Intellectual dominance is an underrated, yet crucial aspect of overall dominance.

We already saw that intelligence is one of the sought-after traits in the sexual market
place, especially for long term dating.

But intellectual dominance is less about “knowing more”, or having more IQ points, and
more about frame control, the ability to debate, defend your opinion, show the flaws in
her opinion, and change her mind.

2.2. Intellectual Dominance: Power Move Example

My English is far from great.

But it’s probably enough to put me in the top 1% of non-native speakers.

And since I mostly communicate in English while living outside of English speaking
countries, that allows me to take an intellectually dominant position over the women I
speak to.

How do I take full advantage of that?

I officialize with one simple question.
Here it is:

Me: Do you want me to correct your English?

With one simple question, I position myself as the linguistic authority, which by itself is
an important part of overall intellectual authority.

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Also, the way that women reply to that question tells me a lot about their personalities
and psychological makeup (I mention it in this forum entry).

3. Physical & Sexual Dominance

Physical dominance is a poorly discussed and highly misunderstood topic.

Physical dominance refers to the whole spectrum of body movement and body contact.
It includes being comfortable with one’s own body, being comfortable with touching,
taking up more space, etc.

Sexual dominance is a subset of physical dominance, referring to the last stages of

seduction, during sexual escalation and before and during sex.
This section will clarify how physical dominance fits into seduction and power dynamics.

3.2. Token Resistance to Sex & Dominance

“Token resistance to sex” refers to the woman resisting sex while also enjoying the process
and, in spite of the resistance, being willing, or at least open, to sleep with him.

Some typical resistances entail turning her head away on a kiss, refusing to move to a
horizontal position, or battling over every single piece of clothing before she finally
relents.

Sexual resistance serves as an important test of his emotional stability.

If you remember in the traits that women seek the most in a mate, emotional stability
features quite high.
Some men can’t control themselves or get angry when a woman slows them down. And
women fear these men.
Experienced and emotionally stable men won’t get angry and will keep a good mood
throughout.

That’s why a man who handles resistances well often does not just get sex, but
takes a bit step towards her heart as well.

Physical Boldness & Attraction

Physical assertiveness, if well executed, is highly attractive to women.

Please note that physical boldness alone can be scary and abusive if it’s not part of an
overall environment of safety and good vibes.

Look at this conversation below, and keep in mind her English was very weak so her
“attack” actually refers to a more aggressive than average physical escalation to sex:

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This is a woman I met once and had sex with after a rather lengthy token resistance.
Notice how chase-y she gets after our encounter.
Her attraction was not because we hit it off so well, and there wasn’t a strong physical
attraction, either. She was also taller and more than once commented on it (rule of
thumb: if you’re smaller, it’s safer to dial up the dominance).
Her attraction was the consequence of bold, dominant and well-executed escalation to
sex.

A well-executed dominant escalation to sex requires a good understanding of when it’s

getting too much for her and when instead it’s safe to push.

When a man gets good at reading the social and emotional signals, he can allow himself to
push hard and still keep an overall pleasant -and even caring- atmosphere.

And this is why emotional intelligence and a good grasp of social dynamics translates well
into all area of people interactions, including dating and seduction.

3.3. Expressions of Male Physical Dominance

These are some advanced moves that men can use during escalation:

– Grab her neck from behind

– Grab her neck from the front (safe during sex, more advanced before sex, avoid most of
the times)
– Hold her face if she refuses to kiss you until you can give at least a pecker (or get some
skin contact in order to avoid the dynamic where she’s the leader who chooses what to
hand out)
– Jokingly push her in a horizontal position
– Jokingly drag her towards the bed
– Pick her up to carry her to the bed

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– Increase physical intensity to overcome resistance and take the seduction one step
forward
– Kiss and grope her overcome by lust, then go back to normal
– On the bed, pin her hands above her head while you kiss her bosom or remove an item
of clothing (more advanced)
– Bite her (not too hard of course)

Men should be at a good level of emotional intelligence before safely engaging in them.

Remember two things:

1. Safety first: all expressions of physical dominance must happen in an overall

atmosphere of safety. She must know and feel that it’s safe.
2. She accepts you as a potential lover: if she is not yet in a sexual mood, or still far
from being open to sex, you’re escalating too early, or on the wrong person.

So, if safety is all good, and if she is accepting you and open to the possibility of sex, here
is how to do it:

3.4. How to Escalate Dominantly, Within A Safe & Collaborative

Frame
Physical dominance by itself can sometimes be enough to get to sex.
And even to get certain types of women very into you.

But it will also push a lot of women far away.

And it’s far, far from the best you can do.

The best way of escalating to sex is to mix physical dominance with:

– Verbal banter / fun conversation

– Signals of kindness and caring

And, most of all:

– Collaborative frames

Yes, again, we go back to the fundamental strategies of power.

Mixing physical resolve with banter, collaborative frames, and kindness improved my
results by 10 folds.
Remember the lesson on lovers and providers?

Well, mixing bold physical escalation with kindness you get the best from both of them.
By mixing boldness with kindness and collaborative frames, you get the best
of both worlds.

As I escalate, this is what you can do to make sure she knows it’s all good:

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1. Take breaks in between bouts of escalation and lighten the mood (tease, talk, or tell
stories about yourself and your life)
2. Take a break when you see it’s getting too uncomfortable for her (that’s why EI is so
important)
3. Stop for a second and with serious tone say “hey, I want you to know that you are safe
here”. Pause, let it sink in. Sometimes I insist on that point and tell her “this is important,
did you get it?” until she acknowledges
4. Switch from hard escalation to more cuddly-and caring (ie.: kiss on the forehead, hug,
light make out)
5. Tell her “I like you”
6. Tease her
7. Make fun of yourself to take the edge off
8. Reframe competition into cooperation (for example, if she says you’re being aggressive,
say “nono, I’m very kind, I just want you to be happy”)
9. Reframe dominance into win-win: if she says she’s scared or you’re pushing too much,
say “don’t say that, you’re totally safe here and we’re having a good time”. If you can see
strong signs she likes you, you can add “and we like each other”
10. If she says you are making her feel bad, say “if you say that, you make me feel guilty. I
want you to feel good” (and change tack: you’re doing it wrong if you make her feel bad!)
12. If she’s getting into it, leverage it and make it obvious (for example, if she says she
wants to go while you rub against her, you say with a sexy voice “sure, and what else do
you want to do”. If she smiles or keeps enjoying the process, that’s the admission she’s
getting ready and you got this)

If you notice she’s not yet ready to remove a piece of clothing, seek to kiss her naked skin
instead, for example, her belly or her thighs.

If your native language is different than hers, speaking your native tongue is also a great
way to lighten the mood.

Sometimes women want to do it but are still battling some mental blocks and need the
man to take charge.
So I might tell her:

I am going to pin your hands down now and remove your panties (so that it’s not your fault)

If she says nothing, chances are that she wants you to remove her panties.

And what do you do if she says she wants to leave?

If she says she wants to leave, I say that she should stay we’re having a good time. If I feel
she’s not yet feeling as safe as she should feel, I add say that she can leave at any time, but
that I would really like her to stay.
If she really wants to leave, needless to say, you let her go and escort her back.

PRO Tip: Be especially kinder after dominant escalations

You want to stave off any risks she will feel slutty, used, or, even worst, bonded to you
through traumatic bonding (the risk for the latter is higher if you don’t mix enough

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warmth, play and teasing during the physical escalation).
That’s why you want to especially dial up kindness and warmth after the escalation was
particularly physical.

Mix Dominance With Collaboration: Examples

See here an example:

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In this example, sexual dominance alone was initially derailing the interaction

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She didn’t want to go to my place right away, but I insisted.
Once home, I started escalating.

A bit later, but not much later, I picked her up and took her to the bed, where I dealt with
a lot of resistance.

She put her shoes back twice to go back home. And every time I brought her back by
taking the pressure off and turning it into collaboration. I said I wanted her to be happy
and that we were going to have a great time together.

I repeated that over and over, until it really started becoming a collaborative night.

Then I took a bigger pause, then went for it again, with zero resistance. She was so into it
and so relaxed that she easily peaked twice.
Later we both opened up about ourselves, and we had a great evening.

We cannot split-test real-life interactions, but I’m pretty sure that without kindness and
“collaborative frames”, this is a girl who would have either not have had sex with me, or
would have disappeared the day after.

Instead, not only she says the guy who was relentlessly going for sex was nice, but she
writes again the day after and happily shares more of her life.

This is the difference between “dominance as a standalone” and dominance as part of a

bigger collaborative frame.

One more example, even more telling:

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This is even more telling because this was a so-called “failed sexual escalation”.
Meaning I pushed and insisted, but in the end, it just didn’t happen.
Some authors say that a failed sexual escalation is the death knell and you will never hear
from her again.

But not if you mix kindness and collaborative frames.

This is because women want to remain in touch with the physically bold, kind lover,
because he is such a rare breed. And he would make for a perfect boyfriend.

Notice that she says that “behind the thirst for sex, you’re a gentleman”. And that’s exactly
the mix you want to go for: bold and resolute, maybe even animalistic in driving towards
sex, while still being an overall gentleman.

3.5. When Women Take Physical Charge, Don’t Let Them

It’s rarer, but women sometimes also engage in more purely physical strength games.

She might for example playfully wrestle him.

Or she might take charge of the escalation, for example, move him away from being on
top and get herself on top.

Some less experienced men think that’s good and she is leading herself to sex.
But that’s rarely the case.
Women mostly lead to sex with men who played coy all along, but rarely with men who go
from leading to lead.

Usually, men should not allow her to prove herself stronger or more strong-willed than he
is.

So while he must be careful not to make it seem like he is taking it too seriously, he should
always avoid letting her physically dominate him.

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I don’t know who started that “woman takes my hand thing”, but I can tell you this: he
wasn’t any of the following: driven, powerful, or successful with women

Example of Dominance Battle: The Fight Simulation

If the man takes her up on the challenge sometimes the battle can end up mimicking a
fight.

This scene between James Bond and Pussy Galore is basically a light fight simulation,
with the prize being her:

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Watch Video At: https://youtu.be/CuAz6DXUopw

I personally don’t like the dynamics of fight simulation.

To begin with, it can be difficult for most men to recognize real resistance from a
simulated fight. And that can end up tragically.
Second, the fight simulation begins as a relationship of equals -otherwise she wouldn’t
simulate the fight- and sets a bad frame of combativeness (bad).
Third, the relationship that might ensue will be more based on dominance than on
anything else, and that makes for a more tenuous bond.

I prefer seductions with a clearer dynamic of the man in charge from the beginning.
And I prefer them to have the unstated frame that this is a game and the two are together
in it, moving together towards a union of bodies and souls.
Sure, there might be the resistance games, but that’s part of the sexual dance.

3.6. When Women Prod for Your Sexual Dominance

Sometimes women will tease him to dominate her.

The tease is a message that their refusal is only a facade and that the man should really
take charge, barrel through and dominate her.

If the man acts on those signals it often ends in lots of moaning and requests of fucking
her hard.

Here is a good example from Five Easy Pieces:

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Watch Video At: https://youtu.be/MlXhunwwHzA

Her: I’d like you to leave, so I that can take a bath (coquettish attitude, puts perfume on)
(…)
Him: Shut up, pushes on the bed, escalates

She is he teasing him by walking away -thus forcing him to follow-, then smiling at his
outburst and acting coquette.
She is putting on perfume, whose main reason for existence is attracting mates, while
confronting him with a power gaze.
Also her words, “I’d like you to leave so I can take a bath” are hinting at the sexual.

But note that when women tease men to dominate them, the power rests with
the woman.
Or, at least, she feels in power because she orchestrated the whole thing and he only acted
on her cues.

For a man to gain power after the sex, he should act distant, and let her come to him and
express more interest and emotional investment.
Otherwise, the power dynamics still see him as chasing for sex and her deciding when to
provoke him.

4. Predator-Style Dominance
Dominance is also conveyed without any touch at all.

The way you talk, walk, deal with the people around, how you expect her to follow you
and, of course, the way you look at her.

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This picture is not the greatest gaze example in itself as I was drunk by then. As a matter
of fact, it’s terrible.
But compared to a company party where everyone tried to look friendly and silly, flashing
toothy smiles and big grins, it stood out.

And notice her reaction:

“what a sight”… Do you think she enjoyed the wolf/sheep dynamic?

This is similar to the excitement of what’s sometimes referred to as the “psychopath

stare”.

Adelyn Byrch, curator of the website “psychopaths and love”, says that the “psychopath
stare” is scary with strangers and outside of seduction but, when she is with her lover and
in seductive environments, many women find it extremely arousing (but no, psychopaths
aren’t more successful than high-quality men).

We’ve already seen an example of predator-prey dynamic in the movie “The Goodfellas”.
And an even better example is in the movie “Sedotta e Abbandonata”:

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Watch Video At: https://youtu.be/NVM0BZ6X7OE

Her later feelings of guilt and shame are also realistic, and this is the risk of dominance
without warmth: she can feel ashamed and cut contact with him.

5. Sexual Dominance
Dominance leads to bed, but can also continue in bed.

The resistance to sex is also part of sexual dominance, which can also then prolong to the
sex itself.

Moving her around, changing positions at will and showing an “animalistic” side when
having sex are also signs of dominance which can make many women do-eyed.

Just one rule: if you must be dominant, do it with full conviction.

Half-assing it is sure to backfire:

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Watch Video At: https://youtu.be/SIPitICAQxg

Him: (slaps her ass with no conviction)

Her: Did you just spank me?
Him: No

🙂
5.2. Sexually Objectifying Women
Many women enjoy being treated as sexual objects… At the right time and by the right
man.

Being overcome by a strong sexual urge, turning her around and bending her over a piece
of furniture and entering her as soon as she enters your place, for example, can be
extremely arousing for her.
Waking up at night and start fucking her can also be extremely arousing.

It’s also not unlikely that women will become much more mellow and submissive after
you dominantly penetrate them in one of the above ways early in the relationship.

This is an example of “attacking” her with raw sexual aggression as soon as we walked in:

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P.S.:
Don’t think that having a wild sexual adventure will make women want to see you again.
Emotions are fleeting, and this is not the stuff that binds people for the long term (see
Dating Power Dynamics for more on this topic).

Case in point: this same lady who “felt unreal” came back to Berlin… And we didn’t even
meet.

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Dominance and Pathology: A Warning
Dominance is dominance.
Per se, it’s not good or bad.

It can be used for good, and even to make the best interest of both partners and of our
mates.
But it can be used for selfish purposes as well.

Some individuals who seek dominance and power over others can be pathological.
This is important, as I have been asked more than once “how to find and date dominant
men“.
As a matter of fact, most pathological relationships with dark triad individuals, often men,
entail their search for power, dominance and control over their partners.

Sociopaths and psychopaths seek dominance for the feeling of power they want to feel
over others.
Some sociopaths and psychopaths only want relationships where they completely control
their partners, in all aspects.
Worse yet, some psychopaths feel at the most powerful when they can also ruin and harm
their partners. That goes beyond being selfish and enters the real of gratuitous harm and
sadism.

Yes, we live in a world where evil does exist.

Luckily, simply knowing about it lowers the chances you will be a victim of evil.

If you see these tendencies in yourself, it’s good if you stop for a second to think about it,
and possibly reassess. You can’t change psychopathy probably, but you do can become
less of a narcissist.

If you see these tendencies in your partner, you might be better off cutting contact.

Is Learning Dating Power Dynamics Antisocial?

I remove this section as it’s not-practical.

If you are interested, see here.

6. Romantic Dominance
Surprised to read this one?

Don’t, this might be the best memory-making type of dominance you can ever have.

Taking her hand to walk on a beautiful bridge, stopping her to admire the view and then
passionately kissing her like there was no tomorrow is an example of romantic
dominance.

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Many women remember the first kiss more than the first sexual encounter.
A well-executed “dominantly romantic move” is sure to make her swoon and leave an
everlasting memory.

See an example from SATC:

Watch Video At: https://youtu.be/rLAGlh1GGlY

Her: so corny (she’s afraid of the romance)

Him: no, it’s classy (imposing his frame, positive dominance)

The fact he’s mentioning his parents only turbocharges the romance: it alludes to a life
together, with family and children.

Romantic dominance requires the man to stay in the leadership role, and leading
smoothly in and out of the romance. That makes the difference between memorable or
corny.
That means he must enjoy the romance, but not get too lost in it. As the man, you’re the
romance giver. In that romance, the giver is both a player and a conductor.

Needless to say, I love romantic dominance.

7. Provider Dominance
High level of providing is also an aspect of dominance.

As we saw earlier, some authors mistake “providing” for less sexual, less dominant men
who exchange (limited) resources for sex and the opportunity of making children with
her.

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This is a wrong approach because they focus on the average man instead of looking at the
whole spectrum of power dynamics and resources.

So let’s look at the whole spectrum and let’s take the two extremes to see the difference:

Low-Status Provider: breaks his back on low paying jobs to cater to her every whim.
He provides not because he wants, but because he fears she will leave him.
After much pursuing, she allows him to be with her. And he keeps breaking his back for
the rest of his life, trying to make his queen happy.

Dominant provider: he swats her hand away when she chips in 10 dollars for the tip on
a 450 bill while saying with a smile “oh don’t be silly, save those to buy your mama a
little present” (or devilishly more sexually dominant: “to buy your boyfriend a trinket“).
Then he drives her home on a Ferrari.
At home the music starts automatically as they walk in. He prepares two cocktails with
top shelf liquors and then proceeds to fuck her.
Afterward, he stays busy with his own life and many interests. He can have many women,
but he likes her. So they keep in touch.
She starts falling in love with him, and wants to rope him in for a relationship. He
consents. She is overjoyed she is with such a catch. He is also happy they are together.

That, my friends, is the difference between a “normal” provider and a high SMV dominant
provider.

Look at Trump’s approach to marriage and children:

Watch Video At: https://youtu.be/q4XfyYFa9yo

Trump: I’m not gonna be doing the diapers. I’m not gonna be making the food. I might not
even see the kids, frankly. She’ll be an unbelievable mother. I’ll be a good father, I’ll be, you
know making my deals.

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Notice that this is not an endorsement of Trump’s stance.
It’s an example that one can be a financial provider while still having a 100% approach of
not being a provider of emotional and “day-to-day support”, so to speak.

8. Parental-Figure Dominance
Dominance can also be conveyed with a parental, guiding figure that provides a feeling of
protection and safety.

The typical example is an older man towards a younger woman.

And the stereotype here is that she has “daddy issues”. Well, the stereotype is not wrong:
many women with father issues look for an older man.

But it would be a mistake to think that it’s just women with “father’s issue” who fall for it.
Many women, and many men as well, are prone to be hooked by a parental figure.

8.2. “You Lil’ Girl” Dominance

In seduction circles there was such a concept of “girls are silly and cute”.

Frankly, I never liked it: it just sounded like a huge crutch to encourage men to approach
women. As if to say “don’t worry, girls are inferior to you, nothing to be afraid of” (read
more on this thread).
However, there is some truth to it.

Many women do enjoy being treated like “little silly girls” in the right place and from the
right man.

James Bond in this scene has an attitude of “you lil’ girl”:

Watch Video At: https://youtu.be/UpGFESbLMKU

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 Bond: Dink, say goodbye to Felix
Dink: What?
Bond: Man talk (turns her around and slaps her ass)

That slap communicates “now go you silly lil’ girl and let the men speak”

As usual, the caveats of “who” and “where” apply.

Where

In private, many women will enjoy.

But knowing when it’s safe to do it and knowing when it’s the time to treat her
like a perfect equal is what differentiates the fake alpha male posturers from
the really all-around high-quality men.

Don’t do it when she’s in front of people she doesn’t want to show her submissive side to
or whenever she has a reputation to uphold.
These situations include colleagues, parents, family, “feminist girlfriends”, “clueless men”
and, I would say, your guy friends too (or it looks like you’re disrespecting her to show off
to them).

In short, high-quality men treat her with love, respect and care in public and like a little
silly girl in private.

Who
Of course, the bar is placed differently depending on who is doing it.

The same woman might accept this behavior from one man but refuse it from another.

I remember now a long time ago a (declared) feminist smiling when I put money on the
inside of her bra and told her to go buy a couple of drinks.
But she almost hit my friend when he did it to her.

And of course, the same man might be able to do it to one woman, but not to another.

On average, she allows it from men she’s intimate with and whom she perceives as more
dominant. But not from men who are around her same level of dominance.

And that’s a good opportunity to test where you stand:

Use it To Test Women:

You can use “you little girl” behavior as a test to gauge where you stand in the relationship
and to better understand her psychological makeup.
Does she accept the behavior or gets angry? Does she try to jokingly slap you back or does
she look hurt? This is all-important information both to analyze your relationship and
your girl.

– See an example here

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SUMMARY
To date successfully, men must be more dominant and socially powerful than women.

Leadership is how you leverage your power and dominance to move the interaction
forward while she happily follows.

Healthy dominance does not seek to control her, but it’s just a consequence of who he is.
Healthy leadership leads with both partners’ well-being in mind.

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