Name: Early Tota Silitonga

NPM: 17120312

Theory genre according Deborah Tannen in Griffin ( 433;2012)

1. Public speaking versus private speaking

Women talk more than men. Women talk too much, men get more air time

2. Telling a story

Men prefer to tell stories in terms of jokes, while women like to involve other people

in their conversations and they need to responded to.

3. Listening

When a woman listens to a story or explanation, they tend to make eye contact, nod,

and mumble. They also present other responses that implied that they were listening.

Other the case with men. They care about status and when listening, they don't want

to place themselves submissively or be under. They must show affirmation of agree

or disagree.

4. Asking questions

According to Tannen, Women ask questions in order to establish a relationship with

other people. men are reluctant to ask because it will show their ignorance

5. Conflict

Tannen in Griffin (437: 2012) states, many men are more comfortable with conflict

and therefore tend to hold back in conflict. For most women, conflict is a threat to

relationships and is avoided at all costs.

Gender Identification From Conversation

Anna: So, Shea, do you still struggle with that at all? Or are you just like, I don't care.

Shea: I got the ring. At this point, I got the ring. During the process, I was like, wow, I might

not get the ring because he is really into her.

Anna: You know, I was feeling that. You know as a woman in a relationship I felt that when I

watched. But then I had to check myself as a viewer because that's what the show is all about.

Michael: Yeah. So my thought process was if I go on 15 first dates, I don't think I'm going to

get a lot out of it. But if I do find someone I kind of connect with, and then try to go deeper,

and see like where that takes me. And then I come back to Shea still, then. Then you know

it's right. I know that it's right. And so I wanted to really give myself that opportunity. I even

told her. As much jealousy as you saw at the end, towards the end I did appreciate her like

going on some dates, and then coming back, and saying, after all that I still choose you too.

(Public speaking versus private speaking: we can see that Michael (Man) talk more than

Shea (woman)

(Listening: When a woman listens to a story or explanation, they tend to make eye

contact, nod, and mumble)

Anna: Yeah. So Shea you went on a few dates. Was any of that to get back at Mike you

think?

Michael: Yes, absolutely. Everything

Shea: It wasn't to get back at him. It was great that I got to shoot two birds with one stone.

But I genuinely enjoyed my dates.

(Listening: When a woman listens to a story or explanation, they tend to make eye

contact, nod, and mumble. They also present other responses that implied that they

were listening. Other the case with men. We can see when Anna listen Shea he give a

response like she nod its mean she agree/she listen but Michael doesnt did it.)

Michael: No she didn't.

Shea: I did!

(Many men are more comfortable with conflict and therefore tend to hold back in

conflict. For most women, conflict is a threat to relationships and is avoided at all costs.

We can see when michael decide to say “No. She didn’t to make Shea angry)

Anna: Mike, let's just say you came a long way.

Michael: I did.

Anna: We watched the progression. You really got beat up in the beginning.

Michael: I know.

Anna: Yes.

Michael: I was very closed off. And you know I had my reasons why. And like, I didn't even

realize how closed off I was until I watched it.

Anna: OK.

Host: Was there a specific moment that changed you and made you want to do this with

Che'?

Michael: Yeah. When she started really showing me that she wanted to integrate my son in

her life, then I started saying, OK, we can really be a family. Mm-hmm.
(Public Speaking vs Private Speaking: Women talk more than men. Women talk too

much, men get more air time)

Host: Che', you had an aha moment.

Shea: Yeah.

Host: Talk about that.

Shea: It was when Dr. Nicole really explained that I can't just Mike. I have to have all of

Mike. And I was just like, wow. I didn't think about it like that.

Host: I mean, no. Listen, you said that they should go to an Airbnb?

Shea: I'm looking at it as such a negative thing. Mm-hmm. And when she says, you create the

life you want, and you create the vision for yourself

Host: Yeah.

Shea: And I really started to think of it like, wow. Well, this is my opportunity to connect

with a child, with the man that I love.

(According to Tannen, Women ask questions in order to establish a relationship with

other people. men are reluctant to ask because it will show their ignorance. We can see

when Anna doesn’t understand or can’t catch the shea’s answer he ask her back)

Michael: And I'll say, like, I always forced a certain level of distance between my son and

whoever I'm dating. That kind of had a negative effect, because I showed her a life that never

included my son, and that's what she got used to.

Host: So what's the relationship like? Have you brought him into the fold yet?

Michael: Yeah, it's great.

Shea: We've been talking. He's been over. And we're thinking about him moving in. And he's

on the top of our minds. Yeah. So it's good.

HOST: I love it. I love it all. Does anything about Zion remind you of Mike?

Shea: Yes. Everything.

Michael: Everything.

Shea: They are twins. Like, just his mannerisms and the way he looks, and just like the

attitude

Michael: He's so nonchalant. If y'all thought I was standoffish, you never saw

Host: well, that's Zion every day.

Shea: Yeah, every day. He's just chilling.

Michael: He's like. He is chilling.

No Types Score
1 Public speaking versus private speaking 2

2 Telling a story 0

3 Listening 2

4 Asking questions 1

5 Conflict 1