Blake Woodie

ENG 111

Profesor Williams

8 October, 2023

Highs and Lows of My Education

“The best way to predict your future is to create it.” —Abraham Lincoln. This quote

meant a lot to me as a young student, even when I was just starting kindergarten. It motivates me

to do better and constantly strive for something greater academically, to this day. Though I was

just a kid, I took school seriously, even with the ups and downs of life, not letting it get in the

way of my educational prowess. Whether that was switching to new schools or people passing in

my life, I also tried to keep a positive mindset no matter the situation I might've been going

through.

Though my first years of pre-K were easy, I was surrounded by the neighborhood kids,

moms I knew, etc. I knew jumping to kindergarten with the big kids was no easy task. Switching

schools felt like the end of the world. That was the only school I've ever been to, only people I've

tried to be friends with, and many more things. On the first day of kindergarten, it felt as if I were

a turtle in its shell, hiding, scared that people would come up to me and say something. I felt as if

I was invisible; not a soul paid attention except for one teacher. This teacher was Ms. Furlo. Ms.

Furlo had felt like my second mom, helped me get out of this hiding mentality, and helped me

adjust to the school. Kindergarten was no breeze, though, with getting bullied being a constant

thing during those years. This made me want to homeschool and no longer even show my face.
 After finishing kindergarten, I ended up staying and not homeschooling, hoping things

would change in my favor. As the school year rolled around, my anxiety was through the roof,

fearing what people would think of me and constantly being reminded of what I was bullied for

the year prior. Though I am nervous, I push through and try my best to be social and active

throughout the class. As the year continued, I started making friends, being more at peace with

school, and not wanting to hide myself from my peers. Everything seemed as if life had been

going in my favor and as if things were changing for the better until I got the news that my

grandma had passed away.

This broke me. I was physically and mentally back in the same stage I had started the

school year with, if not worse. My grandma helped me through my childhood and really molded

me as a whole. It had felt like half of me had just left, and I was standing still, shocked, watching

my life spiral down as if I couldn't do a thing about it.

After my grandma passed, it was a slow recovery mentally. It hurt watching my family

mourn, knowing that they felt the same way I did. My grades were slipping badly, and I was

getting no sleep as well as not being able to feel happy anymore. After a month of a repetitive

pattern, I convinced my mom to let me homeschool. In my head, that sounded like the best

opportunity that could have come about, but later I found out it wasn't.

Fast forward A year later, rolling into 2nd grade homeschool was great. I barely did any

work, I had my own sleep schedule,I had all the free time a kid my age could want, and I was

scot-free. Little did I know this would be a huge detriment later in my education. I kept this

pattern in rotation for the whole school year while telling myself and mom that I was doing all

my work and my grades were on par. In reality, I was only doing maybe half the work and had so
much to catch up on that I had to do summer school. This was a huge wake-up call to stop

dwindling away from my school work and actually focus and realize this will be portraying my

future.

After yet another school year down, I convinced my mom to let me homeschool again,

thinking it would be the best option. After telling myself and her, I would actually pay attention,

do my work, and not slack off yet another year. Everything was going great until it came to an

end. I kept this streak going onward through 4,5 and even 6th grade. But rolling into middle

school, I was severely depressed. All these years, I had been lacking heavily socially, and it

really started to hone in on me all at once. Once I saw my two closest friends had more friends

outside of our group and beyond that they were hanging out with, and I wasn't the only one, I

was shattered. It felt like a reality check all at once, just hitting me.

There were so many things going through my mind—all the stuff I missed out on,

friends, field trips, and the school environment that helps form your template as a person—that

was missing in me. I knew I had to join real school, which was the hardest thing to face for me

because I knew it was true. If I wanted to have a more fulfilling school year with more academic

opportunities, I knew I had to jump into middle school. So I did.

Starting the year off, my anxiety could not have been any higher. I had held this persona

of whom the people in elementary school perceived me as and only thought of myself as that

around my other classmates, keeping me antisocial for a couple months. Things started to

improve drastically, though, about halfway through the year. I had picked up many new friends

and people along the way. This was due to my 7th grade English teacher having a pep talk with

me. This really changed who I perceived myself as, and I started to feel more comfortable with
my own body, making my self-confidence grow over time. Going into 8th grade was rough. Not

too far into the year, COVID was spiking, and due to this, we had online classes for a couple

months on end. Through this, I had a horrible mentality, really putting a detriment on my mental

state once again. I had gone back into this negative persona and couldn't think positively about

the whole situation.

It was like this for almost the rest of the 8th grade year; we did end up going back, but

things were just not normal. At the end of the year, all of my friends that I had formed a close

bond with were all splitting ties with different schools. I wanted to stay with them no matter the

school, and I was constantly just wanting to go to the same school they were heading to, not

concerned if it was best suited for me. I really needed to understand in this situation that as life

moves on, so do people, and middle school was just yet another chapter of my life ending, and

those people were closing with the chapter. Realizing this and coming to terms with myself

helped me grow a lot mentally, and I really started to feel prepared for high school with a fresh,

clear slate on my mind.

Going into my freshman year, I was very anxious and nervous about going to a whole

new school. I was also very unprepared academically due to the year prior being COVID and not

really learning or taking initiative with my work. My mom would constantly help me with

school, guiding me back on track for the year ahead. I've had many talks with her as well, and

from each talk, my mindset would clear, and I would be able to focus and not get sidetracked

with my work, making school easier overall. For the first couple months, it was slow: making

friends, trying to fit in, etc. The work was also really rough for me after being indulged

academically with barely any work the prior year. This all changed after my math teacher, Mrs.

Howard, started teaching me. Her teaching style really connected with me, and I was able to
understand as well as engage with the class due to her including everyone, which helped me

meet new people as well. In my freshman year, I never really found a friend group but was more

at peace with myself. I became more at ease with who I was, and there was no need to change

that. It felt like I had spent almost the whole year trying to act like someone I didn't know; deep

down, it wasn't me.

Beginning of sophomore year, I had a really tame mentality. I just talked to the people I

was fond of instead of trying to talk to everyone to be popular or to perceive myself as someone

who I really wasn't. This was the year that I really found myself, my friend group, grew a tighter

cycle with my family, and excelled a lot academically. Now, a couple months into junior year, I

have really gotten to know myself better and have improved drastically from an academic

standpoint as well as socially. I feel like, due to the amazing teachers I have had through the

years, I wouldn't be who I am today.