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The Three Levels of Listening

POSTED ON NOVEMBER 30, 2022

Human beings aren’t solitary creatures. We thrive on our connections with one another, and those
connections are what communications about. It’s through listening and communication that

everything we achieve gets done, from opening a restaurant to flyingHi,

to I'm
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I'm here
But while talk is easy, without the ability to listen keenly, communication to help
goes you!
nowhere.

Before coaching, if I’m honest, utilizing different levels of listening wasn’t something I was very
good at. I generally had plenty to say for myself, and a belief that everyone else was bound to be

interested in my wisdom. This doesn’t work when you’re coaching because coaching uses unique
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listening techniques. That is why

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really listen.

What Are The Levels of Listening?

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There are different stages of listening. In Co-Active Coaching, we talk about three levels of listening.
What distinguishes them is where you focus as you listen to the person that you’re with.

Level One listening is listening primarily to yourself, or your own thoughts or agenda. You could

be focusing on any number of things. Maybe you’re thinking what to say next in the conversation,

and so only half-hearing what the other person’s saying. Maybe you’re wondering what to have
for lunch, or if you left the gas on. The key thing is that in this Level One listening, you’re not

really fully hearing the other person.

In Level Two listening you are intensely focused on what the other person is saying. Nothing’s
distracting you. Thoughts about the past or the future don’t intrude. Even your own ideas don’t get
in the way of you hearing the other person.

Level Three listening is also completely directed towards the other person, but it has a wider

focus. You hear more than just the words they’re saying. You pick up on all sorts of other things –
body language, the inflections and tone of their voice, their pauses and hesitations. It’s like you
can hear sound effects in their mind – the clink of a penny dropping, the thud as they hit a wall.

You can feel them straining to avoid something, or pulling towards something – and you have a
sense of what that might be.

Unlocking the Higher Levels of

Listening
It’s in levels of communication two and three that Co-Active Coaching take place. This is where you
really let yourself be on the receiving end of someone else and their agenda.

Here’s a simple experiment you can do to demonstrate the difference between levels of listening.

To start practicing your levels of listening, get together with somebody else.

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Take a moment to think of something

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Take it in turns to talk about the thing you love – for, say, two minutes. When you’re engaging in
the first of the levels of active listening, don’t ignore the person, but don’t let them hook you in
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either. Think about what you want to say on this subject, or let random thoughts distract you.
When you’re talking – and when you’re listening too – notice what that's like.

Do it again, but this time, when you’re listening, really focus. Be fascinated. Be alert to anything
that makes you think “Wow!” or want to know more, however small or large. This is important
when polishing the different levels of listening in communication skills.

Do it a third time. When you’re listening this time, try to be aware of what this feels like to the
other person. Feel their energy. Notice the glint in their eye, the animation in their body language.

Open up all your senses and be receptive to what the other person’s opening up to show you. Do
this and you will start to feel the power of the higher levels of listening.

This is an experiment you can repeat, varying and playing with it as you go. Try choosing different
topics – things you hate, things of utter indifference. If you’re feeling really ambitious, try really
taking on Level Three listening by doing the exercise without talking – just use grunting, body

language, whatever you like as long as you don’t talk. See what you can hear then!

If you want to learn more about the levels of listening, check out the
Co-Active Coaching Toolkit, and start improving your relationships.

 Read Previous Read Next 

WRITTEN BY

Mark Lister
Based in Edinburgh, Scotland, Mark The Coach loves his life; the joys of fatherhood, the thrills of

mountain biking, the inspiration of music and the arts, the bliss of love, the fulfilment of work.

Coaching and self-development have had a huge and positive impact on Mark in all those areas and
more, and he is passionate about sharing that with others and working with them to make a similar

difference in their own lives.

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