QUINSTELLATION SITCOM

IT’S DIWALI o’CLOCK

a.

INT. THE OFFICE

Mohan: Everyone, attention! What time is it?

(Small awkward silence where Jash looks directly at the camera/catches Pam’s eye)

Dwight: It’s 10:17 a.m. Hang on, no 10:18 and 3 seconds. 4 seconds-

Mohan (annoyed at Dwight but still enthusiastic): It’s Diwali o’clock! And guess what?
Pam and Anjali are throwing us a party!

INT. Mohan’S CABIN

Mohan: Pam, Anjali yeah guys heads up- you’re in charge for Diwali.

Anjali (storming in): Mohan, I have expense reports to submit.

Mohan: Nonono, no excuses, yada yada, you’re the head of the party planning
committee. Man up!

Pam: Okay, what do you want the party to be like?

Mohan: For starters, there have to be those brown triangles. What are they? Mimosas.

Pam: Samosas…?

Mohan: Firecrackers. Elephants for decorations. Rangolis. Curry! It’s so cool. Guess
what? When you say Curry in India, you don’t mean the basketball guy. You mean
yellow food.
Diyas! How did I forget diyas…

(Pam and Anjali hurriedly leave)

b.
Talking head- Dwight:

Dwight: Diwali, the festival of lights? I have my own festival of lights. Sinterklaas. The
Dutch festival that celebrates Saint Nicholas, in all his glory. There’s nobody more kind
to children and maybe if you’re lucky, you’ll even get candy in your shoe!

INT. CONFERENCE ROOM

(Pam and Anjali are planning the party)

Pam: Okay let’s make a list of things we need for the party.

Anjali: What music are you going to play?

Pam: Hindi songs, Bollywood music. Can’t ever go wrong with that.

(Anjali eye roll)

Talking head- Anjali

Anjali: I don’t get Pam sometimes. Gulab jamun is obviously the best.
And who listens to Arijit Singh??

Anjali: A party is supposed to be classy, Pam. (walks out and starts talking to Dwight)

Pam: Sure, I’ll get gulab jamun. But I’m playing Hindi music. Anjali’s just old.

c.
INT. THE OFFICE

Dwight: Anjali, we need to make it a Dutch party too. Sinterklaas is just around the
corner- you know how important my traditions are to me.

Anjali: (nodding her head)

Mohan: Dwight, see me in my office.

Talking head- Dwight:

Dwight: I bet it’s about a raise. Mohan always gives out bonuses for festivals, and I
know I’ve got the highest one…

INT. Mohan’S CABIN

Mohan: You know what Dwight, I don’t trust Pam and Anjali with all this. I can only turn
to you. It’s important business. Something must be done about the party

Mohan: Tarun, come in here! (Tarun enters Mohan’s cabin)

Go pick these orders up.

Tarun: Mohan, that’s not my job… (goes anyway)

Talking head- Mohan:

Mohan- Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how
much they love me. (wears a garland of flowers around his neck) See, I’m not
superstitious but I am a little stitious.

d.

INT. THE OFFICE

Dwight: Attention, people of Dunder Mifflin! On behalf of Regional Manager, Mohan

Kapoor I Dwight Schrute would like to officially announce our Dutch & Diwali Party
which is happening tonight. You know, I’m the Assistant Regional Manager-

Mohan: Assistant TO the Regional Manager

e.

INT. BREAK ROOM

(Pam and Jash are discussing Diwali)

Jash: It’s my favourite festival. It celebrates light over darkness, knowledge over
ignorance. And there’s lots of delicious food.

Pam: Sounds beautiful!

Jash: And you have to wear Indian clothes for the party. We can even go shopping
together if you want but a lehenga is a must.

Pam: Then you have to let me teach you to make a rangoli.

Jash: Done deal. (They shake hands)

---
INT. CONFERENCE ROOM (prepping for the party)

Dwight: Anjali, you’ll love Sinterklaas. There’s sweets, pepernoten and mandarin
oranges, and so many gifts.

Anjali: Is there candy?

f.

INT. THE OFFICE- 2 hours before the party

Tarun: Hey guys, I got the stuff you called for. 1000 samosas, Sinterklaas-es, gulab
jamun, all of it.

Mohan: Tarun, you can't just do that. Don’t. We asked for mimosas, not samosas.

Tarun: You asked me to get it!!

Dwight: Talk to the hand, Tarun. Boss says no.

g.

INT. THE OFFICE: DIWALI o’CLOCK

(Music starts playing, everything is decorated well, everyone is dressed in Indian wear
except for Anjali who wears Dutch costume)
Pam: Hi everyone, thank you for being here. Happy Diwali! This is my first time
celebrating Diwali but it’s one of my friend’s favourite festivals. He said and I quote:
“Diwali celebrates the triumph of light over darkness, knowledge over ignorance. And
lots of delicious food.” Here’s to an evening of connecting with light and eating good
food.

Jash: May the lamps of Diwali illuminate your hearts and homes, and fill your life with
peace and prosperity

V.O.: Diwali honours the triumphant return of Lord Rama, his wife Sita, and brother
Lakshmana, from a 14-year exile in the forest. To celebrate his return, everyone lights
diyas or lamps which will guide him home.

Dwight: And just as important,

Dwight Schrute here, your Assistant Regional Manager, bringing you Sinterklaas vibes
straight from Dutch tradition. Picture this: a bearded man, Zwarte Pieten, and a
steamboat from Spain- that's Sinterklaas magic! Let's embrace the eccentricity and joy
of this unique celebration. May your stockings be filled with surprises. Happy
Sinterklaas!

Cheers.

Talking head- Tarun:

Tarun: I’ve kinda given up on Mohan. The gulab jamun is really good though. I should
compliment Pam after this. She’s amazing.

(Pan to a clip of Jash and Anjali glaring at him)

Mohan: I’m going to send this video to corporate. Show them why you guys deserve
those raises.

Talking head- Dwight

Dwight: What raises???

h.
(Clip of people learning how to light diyas, Mohan burning his hand and continuing to
limp throughout the episode)

Mohan: I got burned really badly. My leg is hurting too. (Nothing happened to him, it’s an
extreme reaction)

Dwight: I’m getting a wheelchair for you!!!

(While bursting firecrackers)

Pam (looking at the firecrackers): They’re magical.

Jash: That’s the beauty of Diwali. You feel the joy in the air. It’s radiant. It’s everywhere.
Infinite. It reminds you to stay close to your loved ones, and wishes you well for the next
year.

i.

Talking head- Dwight:

Dwight: They may look good but don’t let the crackers fool you. They’re dangerous
pollutants.

(Anjali overhears him, bursts into frame)

Anjali: Yes!!! One sane person here.

j.

Mohan: Wait, everyone, don’t go!! Don’t leave me.

(Jash camera smirk)

Mohan: We have to take a group picture.

(Everyone gathers round with lots of chaos, pic is taken, everyone says happy diwali,
leaves)

(A small recording of Mohan singing his Diwali song plays)

[Verse 1]
Diwali is a festival of lights
Let me tell you something
Tonight has been one crazy night

So put on your saris

It's time to celebrate Diwali
Everybody looks so jolly
But it's not Christmas, it's Diwali

Dwight cuts in:

Oh, Sinterklaas, bring gifts galore,
In Scranton's office, we want more.
With beets and joy, let the festivities begin,
Sinterklaas, you're our Dutch delight within.
Grab a beet, join the cheer,
Sinterklaas time is finally here!

[Outro]
Happy Diwali! Happy Sinterklaas!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fE2KLGU7osE&ab_channel=NetflixIndia

Mohan: I’m a good party planner huh. These samosas are good, what are they made
of?

FADE OUT

Credits:
Script- Maitree

Based on ‘The Office’

Characters:
Michael Scott - Mohan Kapoor
Dwight Schrute
Jim Halpert - Jash Patel
Pam Beesly
Toby Flenderson - Tarun Singh
Angela Martin - Anjali Mehta