Bay

ede’
skeeper

#1

Mylegsar
estret
chedoutasKhet
hiwebut
cher
smy
hai
rwit
hthecomb.
Shepul
lsandpushesmyheadar
oundast
hecomb
walkst
hroughmyscal
p.
Thi
shappensal
ltheti
meshe’snotsof
tli
kemama
butherwor
kisasbeauti
ful
.
“
Ouch”Isay
.
Shepul
l
sev
enmor
eandsi
ghs.
“Idon’
tgetitBay
edei fIdon’
tdoyourhairyou
complain,
i
fIdoy ourhairst
il
lyoucomplainwhati
sit
sisi
”sheaskscalmly.
Tearspr
ickmyeyest
hreat
eni
ngt
ofal
loutt
here’
s
nothi
ngmorepi
anful
thandoi
ngmyhai
randIhatei
t.
Iam notonef
orpai
nandIshoul
dn’
tbesubj
ect
edt
o
i
t.
“
Pleasedon’
tpul
lhar
d”Isay
.
Shel
aughsandr
uff
lesmyhai
r.
“
Okaybutbesti
l
l Ineedt
ofi
nishupanddot
he
l
aundr
y”shesays.
“
Icanhel
pIdon’
tmi
nd”It
ell
her
.
Icandowi
thmysomebr
eat
herIt
hinkt
omy
sel
f.
“NoIneedy
out
ofocusony
ourschool
wor
k”she
says.
“
Okay
”Isay
.
Somuchforwanti
ngabreathert
oomuchbookscan
makeyougocrazy
,soIhavehear
d.
Shest
art
spl
ait
ingmyhai
randasof
thum f
oll
ows.
Icl
osemyey esandsmil
eshe’
sal
wayshada
beaut
if
ulv
oiceremindsmesomuchofmama.
“
Bay
ede”shesay
ssof
tl
yst
oppi
ngherhummi
ng.
Iopenmyey
esandt
urnl
ooki
ngather
.
“
Ilov
eyou”shesay
s.
She’
ssmi
l
ingwi
thherey
es.
Inodmyheadandwat
chherf
rown.
“
Bay
ede”shesay
ssof
tl
y.
“
Ilov
eyout
oosi
si”Isay
.
Shet
urnsmyheadandcar
ri
esonhummi
ng.
Ibr
eat
heinandoutopeni
ngmyeyeslookingatthe
hi
ghswal
ls,
Ihaveknownthesehi
ghwall
sf oras
l
ongasIcanremember.
Thesewal
l
shavekeptt
heworldoutsi
det
hesewal
l
s
knowtoomuchi
fonlyt
heycouldt
alk.
“
Bay
ede”myf
athershout
s.
He’sdr
unkagaint
hat’
sal
lheeverdoesnowaday
s
dri
nkhimsel
ftosl
eepandcausetr
oublear
oundthe
house.
“
Bay
edewher
ethehel
li
smyf
ood”heshout
s.
I
fthesewall
swer
en’
tsohi
ght
hent
hewhol
ewor
ld
wouldhearhi
m.
“
StayIwi
l
lgo”Khet
hiwesay
squi
ckl
yget
ti
ngonher
f
eet.
“
It
’sokayhe’
sshout
ingf
ormel
etmego”Ii
nsi
st.
“HayiBayede!
”Herv
oicesnapsbutshequi
ckl
y
coll
ectsher.
“
Iwi
l
lber
ightback”shesay
ssmi
l
ing.
Shedisappear
sint
othehousewhi
l
eIgot
hroughher
phone.
I
t’
stakesawhil
eforhertocomebacksomucht
o
myannoyance,
Idustmysel
fupandmakemywayto
t
hehouse.
Athuddi
ngsoundst
opsmef
rom t
aki
nganot
her
st
ep.
“Psstpsst
”asmi l
espreadsacr
ossmyl
ipsther
e’s
onlyonepersoncraz
yenoughtojumpt
hathighwall
.
IwishKhethi
wehaddonemyhai rquickl
ynowIlook
l
ikesomelazycr azywomanwhojustwokefrom her
sleepwi
thouttakingabat
hthepr
eviousday.
“
Won’
tyoul
ookatme”heasks.
Isl
owl
ytur
nandf
indhi
m smi
l
ing.
“
Won’
tyougi
vemeahug”heasks.
IshakemyheaddamnIshoul
dhav
ebat
hedt
wice
t
oday
.
Hemovescl
oserandpul
l
smei
ntohi
sar
msgent
ly
l
if
ti
ngmeup.
Hesmell
sgoodsomuchsoIcl
osemyey
esand
subt
lyi
nhal
ehi
m.
Iqui
ckl
ypul
lawayaf
terwhatf
eel
sli
kef
orev
eri
nhi
s
arms.
“
He’
sar
ound”heasks.
Inodmyheadsi
ghi
ng.
“
Iwon’
tcauset
roubleIpr
omi seIj
ustcametosee
y
ouandtel
lyouthatIam ar
ound”hesayssmil
ing.
“
Youcoul
dhav
ecal
l
ed”It
ell
him.
“
Iwant
edt
oseey
ou,
Imi
ssedy
ou”hesay
ssof
tl
y.
“Imissedyout
ooNqubeko”Isayhi
tt
inghi
m ont
he
shoulder
.
“
Ohi
t’
son”hesay
schar
gingt
owar
dsme.
“
Nqubekodon’
t”Isay
.
“
Youst
art
edi
t”hesay
sthr
owi
ngmeov
erhi
s
shoul
der
.
Het
wir
lsar
oundwhi
l
eIscr
eam beggi
nghi
mtoput
medown.
“
Phakat
hway
opl
easeputmedown”Isay
.
“
Bay
ede”myf
ather
svoi
cest
art
lesme.
Ihi
tNqubekosohecanputmedown.
Ifi
xmysel
fandcl
earmyt
hroatl
ooki
ngatmyangr
y
fat
her
.
“
Whati
sthi
sboydoi
ngher
e”heasks.
Iswal
l
owhar
dandl
ookathi
m.
Nqubekor
eachesf
ormyhandbutIqui
ckl
yret
racti
t.
“
Wozal
aBay
ede”hesay
s.
Ir
emai
nwher
eIam andl
ookathi
m.
“
Iwil
lcountt
ofiv
eandifyoudon’
tmov
eawayf
rom
t
hatboyIwil
lki
l
lyou”hesays.
Il
ookatNqubekoandst
epawayf
rom hi
m wat
chi
ng
hi
m squi
nthi
seyes.
“
Bay
ede”hecal
l
sout
.
Thehighwall
sar
eli
steni
ngshi
eldi
nghimfrom t
he
worl
donlythi
sti
meNqubekoishereandseeswhat
thewall
shi
de.
Heslapsmeacr
osst
hef
ace,
Igasphol
dingmy
check.
“
Mov
ethosehandsBay
ede”hewar
ns.
Isl
owlymovemyhandsandanothersl
apl
andson
myfacefol
l
owedbyanotherone.
Nqubekost
epsi
nandpusheshi
m of
fpunchi
nghi
m
i
ntheface.
“
Nqubekost
op”Khet
hiwesay
smaki
ngherwayt
ous.
Nqubekopuncheshi
m agai
nandl
ooksatme.
“
Getupl
et’
sgo”hesay
slooki
ngatme.
Il
ookatmyf
atherandshakemyhead.
“
Bay
ede”Nqubekocal
l
sout
.
“
HambaNqubeko”Isay
.
Hi
sey
eswi
denbutt
hismanr
ighther
eismyf
ather
.
“
Anddon’
tyouev
ersetf
oother
eyoudi
srespect
ful
boy
”myf
athersay
s.
Nqubekodr
opshi
sheadandwal
ksaway
.
Khethi
wehelpsmeinsi
det
hehousewhi
l
ebaba
fol
l
owsbehinduscussi
ng.
“Ishouldhav
ekill
edyouall
togetherwi
tht
hat
uselessmotherofyour
s”hesays.
“Idon’
twantt
oseet
hatboyi
nmyhouseev
eragai
n”
heshouts.
“
Butbabahe’
smyf
ri
end”It
ell
him.
Hetur
nsandl
ooksatmebai
ti
ngmet
osayanot
her
wor
d.
“
Leti
tgoBay
ede”Khet
hiwesay
scal
mly
.
Iopenmymout
hbutsher
aisesherhandshaki
ng
herhead.
“
Please”shesay
s.
Ilookatherandnodmyheadshelookssomuch
l
ikemamai tbri
ngstear
stomyeyes.
Iwrapmyar
msar
oundherandr
estmyheadonher
chest
.
“
Iwon’
tst
ayawayf
rom Nqubeko”Isay
.
Shel
aughssof
tl
y.
“
Iknowy
ouwon’
t”shesay
sdeepl
ysi
ghi
ng.
Shest
andsupandgoestotheki
tchencomi
ngback
wit
hapackoff
rozenveg.
“
Her
epr
esst
hisony
ourf
ace”shesay
s.
If
oll
owherbackt
otheki
tchenandwat
chasshe
pr
eparessomel
unch.
Ihavenev
erseenherangr
yinal
lmyl
i
feIhav
enev
er
seenmysist
erangr
y.
Sheal
way
shasasmi
l
eonherbeaut
if
ulf
ace.
Shepr
omi
sest
ofi
nishmyhai
rof
flat
eri
ntheday
.
Myfat
herj
oinsusintheki
tchen,
heplacesafew
not
esonthekit
chencount
erandclearshist
hroat
.
“Getmetwobot
tl
eofBlackl
abel
andsomecol
d
dri
nkfory
ouandyoursi
ster
”hesay
s.
Il
ookatKhet
hiweandshenodsherhead.
Butnotwi
thoutmecat
chi
ngt
hesadnessi
nherey
es
ev
ent
houghshesmi
l
esbutherey
esar
esad.
Shewal
ksmeoutandnudgesmel
eani
ngcl
ose.
“GopastNqubeko’
shouseIam sur
ehewoul
dli
ket
o
seeyou”shesays.
Inodmyheadl
eav
ingt
hehouse.

Iwalkheadhelduphighhummingj
ustl
i
kemysi
ster
,
IgettoNqubeko’shouseandbr
eat
hemaki
ngmy
wayinsi
dethey ar
d.
Hi
smot
herget
sthedoorandsmi
l
esl
ooki
ngatme.
“
Bay
ede”shesay
smov
ingasi
del
ett
ingmei
n.
“Hi
ma,IhopeIam notdi
stur
bingy
oubuti
sNqubeko
home”Iask.
“
He’
sinhi
sbedr
oom”shesay
ssmi
l
ing.
Inodmyheadsmi
l
ingback.
“Youcangothr
oughIwi
l
lbr
ingy
ousomet
hingt
o
eat”shesay
s.
Imakemywayt
oNqubeko’
sbedr
oom bumpi
ngi
nto
hi
ssi
sterPhet
hil
e.
“
Heyf
utur
emr
sP”shesay
s.
Webot
hlaughasIshakemyhead.
“
Phet
hil
e”Isaywal
ki
ngpasther
.
IknockonNqubeko’
sdoorandwai
tforhi
sresponse.
“
Phet
hil
enotnow”hesay
s.
Idecidetol
etmy sel
finandf
indhi
m ont
hef
loor
doinghispush-
ups.
Ishutt
hedoorandt
il
tmyheadl
ooki
ngathi
m.
“
Won’
tyout
alkt
ome”Iask.
Hest
opsandl
ookatme.
“Howdoy
oudoi
tBay
edest
aywi
tht
hatmonst
er”he
asks.
“
He’
smyf
ather
”It
ell
him.
“Thepolicecanlockhi
m awayal
lyouhavetodois
tal
kt oKhethiweandyoutwocanlayachar
ge
againsthim.Iknowhecanbeputawayforgood”he
saysstandingup.
“
Nqubekothatmany ouwantustoputi
njai
lismy
f
ather
,hepr
ovidesf
orusfeedsuswhathappens
whenwesendhi mtopri
son”Iask.
“
Icant
akecar
eofy
ouguy
s”hesay
s.
Ichuckl
eshaki
ngmyhead.
“Whataboutmedi
cal
school
”Iaskmov
ingcl
osert
o
hi
m.
“
How’
syourf
ace”heaskschangi
ngt
hesubj
ect
.
Imassagemycheekandsmi
l
e.
“
It
’snotbadi
nfactIwassentt
ogetaf ewbeer
sI
washopingy
oucouldcomewith”Isay
.
“
Hlekaphel
aNqubeko”Isay
.
Af
aintsmi
l
espr
eadsacr
osshi
sli
ps.
Myfatheri
sacrappymanwhodrownshi
mselfin
al
coholhesometi
mesbeat
sthehell
outofus.
Buthe’
sstil
lmyf athertheonlyparentwehave
l
eft
,Nqubekowoul dn’tunderstandhehasbot
h
par
entswhol ov
ehi m whol eheart
edl
y.
“
Nqubeko”Ical
lout
.
Hel
ooksatme.
“
Youcan’
tsav
eusal
ldoct
orPhakat
hway
o”It
ell
him.
Heclosest
hegapbet
weenusandr
ubsmypai
nful
cheek.
“
ButIcansav
eyou”hesay
shol
dingmyhand.
Thedooropenandhi
smot
herwal
ksi
nhol
dinga
tr
ay.
“
Don’
tmi
ndmeIam j
usther
etof
eedy
ou”shesay
s.
“
It
’sgoodt
oseey
ouBay
ede”shesay
s.
It
akemyhandbackf
rom Nqubeko’
sandsmi
l
eshy
ly.
“
Behav
ey out
woandbef
oreIf
orgetIam t
akingy
ou
t
wotoluncht
omor
rowonme”shesay swalki
ngout
.
Asmi l
espreadsacrossNqubeko’
sli
psashelooks
athisbeaut
ifulmot
her,aburni
ngl
umpf or
msonmy
thr
oatasdistantmemoriesofmymothercomelike
awav e.
Notadaygoesbywi
thoutmemi
ssi
ngherorf
eel
i
ng
t
hevoidshel
eft
.
If
eel
Nqubekoar
mswr
apar
oundmywai
stashe
bur
ieshi
sheadonmyneck.
“Li
keIsai
dIdon’
twantt
osav
ethem al
lj
usty
ou”he
says.

.
..
..
..
..
.

Hel
l
omypeopleshopey
ouareal
lgoodher
e’s
t
ousst
art
ingournewst
ory
.
Youknowt
herul
esi
fit
’snoty
ourcupofbr
andyt
hen
domoveal
ong.
Ishoul
dbeablet
oworkoutapost
ingschedul
eonce
Ihavefoundmyf
eetwi
ththi
sone.
Bay
ede’
skeeper

#2

SeeingNqubekodidmegoodal
thoughhewasn’t
tal
ki
ngbutbeinginhi
scompanywasjustasgood.
He’
sherefort
heweekendandweneedt
omakeup
f
orlostt
ime.
Hepul
lsmei
ntoahugandst
epsawayf
orci
nga
smi
le.
“It
’snotallbadNqubekoandy
ouknowt
hatmy
fatherhasn’tbeent
hesamesi
ncemamapassed
away ”Isay.
Henodshi
sheadandshr
ugshi
sshoul
der
s.
“
CanIcal
lyoul
aterbef
oreIsl
eep”heasks.
Inodmyheadsmi
l
ing.
“
Sur
e”hesay
swal
ki
ngaway
.
It
urnandmakemywayi
nsi
det
hehouse.
I
t’
stooquietandonl
ywhenIst
epcl
oserdoIhear
baba’
sradi
oplayi
ng.
“
Baba”Ical
lout
.
Hecomesoutoft
hehi
sbedr
oom f
ixi
nghi
sshi
rt
.
“
Whatt
ooky
ousol
ong”heasks.
“Icoul
dn’
tfi
ndthem atMam’
ThokosoIhadt
ogo
somewhereelse”Isay
.
Henodshi
sheadandt
akeshi
sbeer
swal
ki
ngback
t
ohisbedr
oom.
“
Khet
hiwe”Ical
loutbutshedoesn’
trespond.
Ist
epoutsi
demakingmywayt
othebackoft
he
housel
ooki
ngforher.
“
Yey
e”shesof
tl
ycal
l
sout
.
Irunbackt
othehouseandf
indhersi
tt
ingont
he
couch.
Herey
esl
ookpuf
fyandherhandsar
eshaki
ng.
Imov
ercl
oseandset
tl
edownnextt
oher
.
“
Sisi
what
’swr
ong”Iask.
Shel
ooksupandsmi
l
esbr
eat
hingoutheav
il
y.
“
Iam j
ustt
ir
edt
hat
’sal
l
”shesay
s.
Inodmyheadandhol
dherhand.
“Iknowt hatsometi
mesit
’shar
dandthatIdon’
t
makei teasybutIpromi
seever
ythi
ngi
sgoingtobe
okay,l
etmer uny
ouabathokayandIwil
lcookyour
favori
te”Isay.
Hersmil
egr
owsev
enmor
easshebl
i
nkshert
ear
s
away.
“
Isi
tBandi
l
edi
dhedosomet
hingt
oyou”Iask.
Bandil
eisherboyf
ri
endandtheyhav
ebeendat
ing
foraslongasIcanremember.
“
NoBandi
l
edi
dnot
hingwear
efi
ne”shesay
s.
“
Howdi
ditgowi
thNqubeko”sheasks.
“He’
ssulki
ngfornowbuthe’l
lbefi
ne”Isaythi
nki
ng
abouthowdramaticNqubekocanbeattimes.
“Tel
lme,whenareyout
woof
fi
cial
l
ygoi
ngt
obea
coupl
e”sheasks.
“
Youofal
lpeopl
eknowt
hatmeandhi
m ar
ejust
f
ri
ends”Isay
.
Shel
aughst
hrowi
ngherherback.
“
Ify
ousayso”shesay
s.
Icl
earmyt
hroatandl
owermyv
oice.
“Si
sihewant
sust
olayachar
geagai
nstbaba”It
ell
her
.
Shet
il
tsherheadf
rowni
ng.
“
Wearenotgoingtolayachar
geagai
nstbabaand
t
hat
’si
t”shesaysstandi
ngup.
Inodmyheadandwat
chherwal
ktoherbedr
oom.
Ideepl
ysi
ghst
andi
ngupheadi
ngt
otheki
tchen.
Ipreparethepot
sandadistantmemoryofmy
mot hercooki
ngSundaymealsfl
ashes,
herf
acei
s
blurr
ywi t
heachyeart
hatpassesIl
osesomany
partsofher.
Hervoicehasbecomesnothi
ngbutadistant
memor yithur
tsnotknowi
ngwhatshesoundedl
ike,
I
seem tobeforget
ti
nghowsheusedlaughedhowit
soundedwhenshesang.
Yeskhet
hiwesi
ngsasbeaut
if
ulasmamabutIwi
sh
Icoul
dmama’svoi
ceonemor et
ime.
Ichoptheoni
onbutmissastepandcutmyself
,t
he
painseemstonumbtheachi
ngthatIam f
eel
ing
ri
ghtnow.
Ipr
essmycutfi
ngerandwat
cht
hebl
ooddr
ipdown
tot
hechoppi
ngboard.
Iclosemyey esandseemymother
sli
fel
essbodyon
thefloorbl
oodcomingcomi
ngoutofherhead.
Iremembert hegunshotandr unningtomypar ent
s
bedroom howmyf atherstoodov erherbodyanddi d
nothingtohelpher,
howKhet hiwescreamedand
tri
edt owakeherupbutshewasal r
eadygone.I
rememberev eryt
hingbutIdon’ tremembercr y
ing,I
don’tremembercry i
ngf ormymot hersomucht hat
myhear taches.
Ipi
ckupthekni
feandmakeacutont
hepal
m ofmy
handbi
ti
ngmylip.
Iwat
chast
hebl
ooddr
ipsont
hechoppi
ngboar
d.
“
Bay
edewhatar
eyoudoi
ng”Khet
hiweshout
s.
Idr
opt
hekni
feandhi
demyhandbehi
ndmyback.
Idi
dn’tmeant
ohur
tmy
sel
fIdon’
tknowwhat
happened.
“
Bayedewhati
sthi
s”sheasksmaki
ngmehol
dout
myhand.
“
Iacci
dent
all
ycutmy
sel
fwhi
l
echoppi
ngt
heoni
on”I
l
i
e.
Shereachesf
ort
hefi
rstai
dki
tandcl
eansmeup
wrappi
ngabandageovert
hecut
.
Shel
ooksatmesuspi
ciousl
ybutsay
snot
hingmor
e.
“
Ijustt
alkedtoBandi
lehesai
dhewill
bri
ngus
t
akeaway syoudon’
thavet
ocook”shesays.
Inodmyheadandt
akemyhandbackcl
eani
ngt
he
messIhav
emade.

Ifi
nishupandmakemywayt oKhet
hiwe’
sbedroom
andf i
ndhercutt
ingupherf
avor
it
edressi
ntoshreds
wit
hsci ssor
s.
Ist
andbyt
hedoorandl
ookathert
aki
ngoutal
lthe
fr
ustr
ationonthepoordr
ess,
shefi
nal
lygi
vesin
breat
hingheav
ilyandsl
umpstothefl
oordef
eatedl
y.
Idon’
tknowwhat’
sgoi
ngonwi
thherbuti
tgoes
deepert
hanIcani
magi
ne.
Iwishmamawasher
eIwi
shshecoul
dmakeher
feelbet
ter
.
Isl
owlyshutthedoorandwal
kbackt
omyr oom,
I
changei
ntosomet hi
ngel
seandt
akeoutR300fr
om
mypiggybank.

ThewalktoNqubeko’shousehasmethi
nkingabout
alotoft
hings,
hehasalwaysbeent
hesafestpl
aceI
canfi
ndcomf or
tinandri
ghtnowIneedhim.
Hisfamil
yisamazi
ngst
ri
ctyetunder
standi
ngthey
arewhatweoncewereathomeal ov
inghappy
fami
ly.
Iknockonthedoorandpat
ientl
ywai
t,
Phet
hil
eopens
thedoorandlooksatmesmili
ng.
“
Ishoul
dhaveknowny
ouwoul
dbeback”shesay
s
l
ett
ingmein.
Shecl
osest
hedoorbehi
ndusandpul
l
smyhand
maki
ngourwaytothel
iv
ingr
oom.
MrPhakathwayoseni
orisoccupyi
ngtheheadofthe
tabl
e,
Isti
l
laglanceathi
m andpict
ureNqubekoin
hispri
mey ear
s.
Iknowhewi
l
lmakeast
ronghandsomeman.
Igr
eetever
yoneandwatchNqubekoqui
ckl
yget
son
hi
sfeetwal
kingovert
ome.
“
Hey
”hesay
s.
“
Hi”Isay
.
Hehol
dsmyhandbutIshakemyheadnoti
nfr
ontof
hi
spar
ent
s.
“Iam sor
ryt
odi
stur
bbutIam l
ooki
ngf
ory
ouMa”I
say.
Shenodsgr
acef
ull
yget
ti
ngup.
Webot
hwal
kbackt
otheki
tchen.
“MaIwaswonderi
ngifyouwecancancelourl
unch
dat
eandyoutakeKhethi
weinst
ead”Isay
.
“
Isev
ery
thi
ngokaywi
thKhet
hiwe”sheasks.
“Idon’
tknowmashesay
sshe’
sfi
nebutIf
eel
li
ke
somethingi
sgoi
ngonwit
hher
”Isay
.
“
Iwil
lcallherandaskhertoj
oinmet
omor r
owand
maybeIcant akehertot
hesparf
orf
aci
alsand
massages”shesay s.
“
Iwoul
dappr
eci
atet
hatmat
hanky
ou”Isay
.
Ireachfort
hemoneyi
nsi
demypocketandhandi
t
toher.
“BayedeIcoul
dnev
ert
akey
ourmoneysi
si”shesay
s
soft
ly.
“Yourmot
herwasafriendandtwoar
eli
kemyv
ery
owndaughter
s”shesaysholdi
ngmyhand.
“
Ihopeshecomesbackf
eel
i
ngbet
ter
”Isay
.
Shepul
l
smei
ntoahugandhol
dsmet
ight
.
“
What
everi
tissi
siIam sur
ewecanf
ixi
t”shesay
s.
Nqubekocl
ear
shi
sthr
oatandhi
smot
herpul
l
saway
.
“
DishupforBayedebefor
eshel
eav
es”shesay
s
walki
ngbacktothel
ivi
ngroom.
Nqubekomov
escl
oserandpul
l
smei
ntoahug
hol
dingmet
ight
.
Hi
shandsset
tl
ejustr
ightabov
emyar
se.
“
Tal
ktome”hesay
s.
“
Ther
e’snot
hingt
otal
kabout
”Isay
.
“
Whathappenedt
oyourhand”heasks.
“
Not hi
ngIhadanacci
dentbutKhet
hiwet
ookcar
eof
i
t”Isay.
Hepullsawayandl ooksintomyey esIdropmyeyes
tothefl
oorIcannev erholdastar
ewi t
hNqubekohis
eyesarejustbeaut
ifulandthatf
actthathe’
s
handsomemakesi thar dtoevenlookathimforl
ong.
Hepull
smyhandaswemakeourwayt
ohi
s
bedr
oom.
Isettl
eonthebedandwat
chashel
ocksthedoor,
he
walksoverandhel
psmeoutofmyshoestaki
nghi
s
offtoo.
Hepeelsthebedcov
eraswebot
hgeti
nIl
ayonhis
chestashewrapshi
sarmsmeki
ssi
ngmyfor
ehead.
TodayIdon’
twantacuddl
eIneedmor
ethanj
ust
t
hatsoImovehi
shandtomybr
eastwhi
l
eImov
e
myhandtohi
smanhood.
“
Bay
ede”hesay
ssof
tl
y.
“
Iwanty
out
obemyf
ir
stNqubeko”Iwhi
sper
.
Imov eandsitont
opofhim andhesitant
lyki
ss
hi
m,ittakesawhil
eforhi
mt orespondsbuthedoes
hungri
lyandpassi
onatel
y.
Itakeoffmyt-
shi
rtandwatchashi
sey
esgr
owwi
de
Icanfeelhi
m gr
owunderneathme.
Hegentl
espull
smebymyhai
rmaki
ngmel
ean
cl
oseandkissme.
Hefl
ipsmeov
erandget
sinbet
weenmyt
highs
ki
ssi
ngme.
Hest
opsandasifcomi
ngbackt
ohi
ssenses
br
eat
hingheav
il
y.
Hegetofft
hebedandshakeshi
sheadr
unni
nghi
s
handsov
erhishead.
“
Getdr
essed”hesay
slooki
ngev
ery
wher
ebesi
deme.
“
NqubekoIwantt
his”Isay
.
“
Bayedegetdr
essedi
t’
sgett
inglat
eandIneedt
o
wal
kyouhome”hesaysster
nly.
Islowlynodmyheadandsear
chf
ormyt
opget
ti
ng
dressed.
Hehandsmemyshoesandsi
ghs.
“
Ineedt
het
oil
etIwi
l
lber
ightback”hesay
s.
HecomesbackjustasIam aboutt
oopent
hedoor
andshamef
ull
ywalkout.
“Soyou’
regoi
ngt
oleav
ewi
thoutsay
ingany
thi
ng”he
asks.
“
Iwasgoi
ngt
ocal
lyouwhenIgethome”Isay
.
Hegrabshi
sphoneandt
akesmyhandaswebot
h
wal
kout.
“
DoIdi
sgusty
ouNqubeko”Iask.
Het
urnsandl
ookatme.
“
No,
whywoul
dyout
hinkt
hat
”heasks.
“
Becausey
ouj
ustt
urnedmedown”Isay
.
Hest
opswal
ki
ngandpul
l
smecl
osei
ntohi
sar
ms.
“Bayedether
e’smoretosexthatj
usthavi
ngit
,Idon’
t
wanty outoregr
etevergi
vi
ngyoursel
ftome.Iwant
yourfi
rsttobespeci
alandIwanttomakeitspecial
”
hesay s.
“
Idon’
tonl
ywantt
obey ourfi
rstBayedebutIwant
t
obeyourl
astt
oo”hesaysleaningclose.
Hisli
pspar
tmineashi
shandsr
estonmyar
se
squeezi
ngi
t.
“
Idon’
twantt
omendyouwithsexonl
ybutIwantt
o
mendyouwit
hmyl
ovetoo”hesays.
Inodmyheadalt
houghIam sti
l
lgutt
edandf
eel
i
ng
fool
i
shaboutt
hestuntt
hatIpul
led.

.
..
..
..
.
Bay
ede’
skeeper

#3

Khethi
westoodupfr
om herbedandlookedat
hersel
fint
hemirr
orhercl
othesnol
ongerseemedt
o
fi
t.
Shesighedl
ooki
ngathowherj
eanst
uckedandhel
d
herbutandhi
ps.
Sher eachedforherpil
l
owandpl aceditunderher
kneesandst artedpr
aying,
sheprayedforhersel
fand
thenpr ayedforherl
i
ttl
esist
er’
sprotecti
on.She
prayedf orBayedemorethanshedi dhersel
f.
Shesaidheramenandst
oodupheadingfort
he
door,
shebumpedint
oherfat
herSabel
oandheldher
breat
h.
Themanl
ookedatherf
rom headt
otoeandsmi
l
ed.
I
twasdi
sgust
inghowhecouldsmi
leandhol
dher
l
i
keali
kealover
,whenhewasherf
ather
.
“
Sawubonababa”shesai
d.
Sabel
opul
l
edhercloserandki
ssedherpushi
nghi
s
l
ongsli
mytonguei
nsidehermouth.
Herfi
stt
ight
enedandshebl
i
nkedashegr
abbedher
but
tandgroaned.
Hepushedherbacki
ntoherr
oom andl
ockedt
he
door
.
Tearsf
il
ledherey
esashelai
dheronthebedand
pul
leddownherpant
sfol
lowedbyherunder
wear
.
Hewasalr
eadyhardandhi
sbr
eat
hsmel
l
edsobad
shewant
edtopuke.
Hepull
eddownhispant
sandst
rokedhi
msel
fthen
par
tedherl
egs.
Hemov eshishandandf
elthowdr
yshewast
hen
usedspitt
omakeherwet.
Khethi
weclosedhereyesandi magi
nedBayede
l
aughingherdimplesshowingandhowsheclosed
hereyeswhenevershelaughed.
HowBayedeal
way
scl
ungt
oherev
ennowasshe
wasol
d.
Shefel
tSabel
ost
ret
chherwi
degroani
ngather
fl
eshwrappi
ngar
oundhi
scock.
Hekissesherneckandgr
opedherbreastt
heywer
e
over
lysensi
ti
vesomuchsot heactbr
oughtt
ear
sto
hereyes.
Shetur
nedherheadandl
ookedtot
hewi
ndowitwas
sunnyt
odayanditsur
ewasgoingt
obeabeaut
if
ul
day.
Sabel
ov i
olent
lyt
hrustedandstr
okedgoi
ngi
nand
outofhersmallt
ightholewi
thoutacar
eint
hewor
ld.
Tearsfell
from herey
esasthemanont opofher
fi
nishedwhathewasdoi ng,
hepul
ledoutandwiped
hi
msel fashissemensli
doutofher.
Hesmil
edcat
chinghi
sbr
eat
hsat
isf
iedwi
thhi
msel
f
andpul
l
eduphispant
s.
“
IbetBay
edei
sev
ensweet
er”hesai
d.
Khethi
webli
nkedshewoul
dneverfor
giv
eher
sel
fif
Bayedehadtogothr
oughwhatshewasgoi
ng
thr
ough.
“
Iwon’
tbehomet
oni
ghtIam v
isi
ti
ngaf
ri
endI
shouldbebacktomorrowori
naf ewdaysti
me”
he
sai
dmov ingtothesi
deofthebedlooki
ngat
Khethi
westari
ngintot
hewindow.
Hepul
l
edherbyherhai
r.
“Andmakesurey oudon’tt
ryanyt
hingwhileIam
awaybecauseIwi l
lfi
ndyouandmakey ouwatch
whil
eIburymy sel
fdeepinsi
dethatli
tt
lesist
erof
your
s”Sabelosaidlet
ti
nggo.
Hewalkedoutandkhet
hiwef
inal
l
yfoundt
he
st
rengt
htostandup.
Nomat t
erhowmanyt i
mesthi
smanv
iol
atedher
shecoul
dnevergetusedt
oit.
Forthefi
rstf
ewy ear
sshehadfoughthar
dwi
thher
might,
buthewouldbeathersohar
dshewoul
dn’
tbe
abl
et odoanythi
ngforweeks.
Thenhewoul
dbeatBayedei
ntopul
pthatwashi
s
wayofput
ti
ngheri
nli
neandstopherfr
om fi
ght
ing
back.
Hewoul
dst
arv
ethem j
ustt
oteachheral
esson.
Shegotundr
essedandwal
kedoutt
othebat
hroom
whereshet
ookal
ongshowerandwalkedbackt
o
herbedr
oom t
ocl
eanupandgetdr
essed.
Sheworealongdr
essandl
ookedathersel
fint
he
mir
rorshel
ookedsomuchl
ikehermothershehat
ed
i
t.
Thedresscoveredupever
ythi
ngitwoul
dn’tbri
ngher
anymaleattent
ion,
shehadburnedal
lofBayede’s
shor
tdressesandskir
tshedidn’
twantthei
rfather
l
ooki
ngather .
Shetookherbagandopenedherpur
sefi
ndi
nga
R200noteinsi
de,
ther
ewasonlyoneper
sonwho
coul
ddot hi
sanditwasBayede.
Shewalkedoutofherbedr
oom andl
ockedt
hedoor
headi
ngout.
Shesteppedoutsi
dethehi
ghwal
l
sandMr
s
Phakathwayo’
scarst
opped.
Shelookedatt
het
imeandr
eal
i
zedshewasr
unni
ng
l
ate.
“
SawubonasisiIdeci
dedtocomegetyouseei
ng
t
hatwearerunningoutoft
ime”Nqubeko’
smother
sai
d.
Khet
hiwesmi
l
edandgoti
nthecarst
rappi
ngher
seat
belt
.
“HiMa,
Iam sorr
yforbeinglat
eIdi
dn’
tseet
het
ime”
shesay
sholdingherbrokensmil
e.
“
It
’sokaysi
si”Nqubeko’
smot
hert
oldher
.
Shecl
aspedherl
egsandlookedout sidet
hewindow
shewonder
edifNqubeko’
smot hercouldsmellt
he
semenandbadbreat
heherfatherleftonher
.
Shehadbeenpost
poni
ngthi
souti
ngshef
inal
l
ygav
e
i
ntoBayede’
syappi
ngandbeggi
ng.
“
Iwasthi
nki
ngwegof ormassagesandf
aci
alsand
maybewecant
alk”Zandi
lesai
d.
Khet
hiwel
ookedatherandsmi
l
ed.
“
Iwoul
dlov
ethatv
erymuchMa”shesai
d.
Zandil
edrovet
othesparandpar
kedherthecaras
theybothst
eppedoutandwal
kedinsi
de.
Theywer
egr
eet
edwi
thgl
assesofchampagne.
Zandi
l
ehadcal
l
edherf
ri
endandaskedt
omaket
he
whol
edayspeci
al.
Theywal kedtothechangi
ngroomsandgotdressed
i
nt heirgownsthengotdir
ect
edtothemassaging
tables.
Oi
lsandhotst
oneswereusedt
orel
axt
hem asthe
masseusewor
kedonthei
rknot
sandst
if
fness.
Khet
hiwecouldfeelthehar
dt ensi
onleaveherbody
sheclosedhereyesanddri
ftedtosleepasher
wholebodyrel
axed.
Thei
rmassageendedandt heymovedtothechai
rs
tohavet
ofaci
alsandfeetandhandsdone.
Aplat
terofst
rawber
ri
es,
cheeseandgr
apeswas
br
ought.
Khet
hiwel
ookedatZandi
l
eandsmi
l
ed.
“
Thankf
ort
hismaIneededt
his”shesai
d.
“
Bay
edewaswor
ri
edaboutyouandIhaven’
tseen
y
ouinawhi
l
esoit
’sawinforev
ery
one”Zandil
esaid.
Theirpamperi
nggotdoneandtheystoodupand
wentouttothepl
azawherelunchfortwowas
prepared.
Zandi
l
elookedatKhet
hiweandreal
i
zedhowf
ull
she
hadgott
enhowherbreasthadgr
ownful
l.
ShewatchedasKhet
hiwepl
atedupandstar
ted
eat
ingshehadanappeti
tet
henitf
inal
l
ydawnedon
her
.
“OhMathi
sissonice”shesai
dreachi
ngf
ort
he
garl
i
candchi
ll
ipr
awns.
Zandil
esi
ppedhercocktai
landwat
chedas
Khethi
weate,
thenshereachedf
ort
heicecr
eam and
hel
pedhersel
f.
Foramomentshel
ookedatherandi
nthatmoment
shewast
heKhethi
weever
yoneknew.
Zandil
eclearedherthr
oatnotknowi
ngi
fthi
swas
appropr
iateornot.
“
Khet
hiwewhenl
astdi
dseey
ourper
iod”sheasked.
Shewentsil
entforawhi
l
ethent
hei
cecr
eam spoon
fel
lbackonherbowl.
Khethi
welookedupwi
they
esf
il
ledwi
tht
ear
sand
bl
inked.
Shehadal
way
sbeencar
eful
wit
hBandi
l
ebecause
shewant
edhi
m get
ti
ngsick,
butwithSabel
othat
manwantedi
trawhewantedtofeelherev
eryfi
bre.
Shehadfor
gott
enaboutgoi
ngtothedoct
orher
mindwastobusyfocusi
ngonBay
edeanddoing
well
onherfi
nalexams.
Zandi
l
ereachedf
orherhandandhel
dit
.
“
It
’sokaysi
sit
alkt
ome”shesai
d.
Khethi
weshookherheadast
ear
sfel
ldownher
cheeks.
Zandi
lemovesovertohersi
deofthetabl
eandhel
d
hercl
oseandjustl
i
kethunderhercr
iesfi
l
ledt
he
pl
ace.
Shecoul
dn’
thol
dbackbutj
ustcr
yforal
lthemessed
upthi
ngsshewasgoi
ngthr
ough.
Howt
hisoneonedaycoul
dbeBay
ede’
sfat
e.
Shehel
dontoNqubeko’smotheranddi
dn’
thol
d
backashert
ear
sdrenchedhergown.
Zandil
ebr
ushedherbackandcl
osedherey
es
feel
i
ngoverwhel
med.
“Yi
nisi
si
”sheaskedasherv
eryownt
hroatcl
ogged
up.
Khet
hiweshookherheadshehadnowor
dsdi
dn’
t
knowwheretobegi
n.
Sheweepedt
il
lherwel
loft
ear
sdr
iedup.
Zandi
l
egr
abbedachai
randsatopposi
teher
.
“I
t’
sokaysisi
whenev
ery
ouar
eready
”Shesai
dst
il
l
holdi
nghercl
ose.

.
..
..
..
..
..
.
Bay
ede

Thesunisscor chinghotandIam wal kinghome

al
onetoday,Phethiledecidedt
ovisitherboyfr
iend
andwellIcouldn’ttagalongherv
isitsalwayendsup
wit
hherscreami ngMdu’ snamef rom thetopofher
l
ungs.
Ithi
nkaboutNqubekoandsmil
ereachi
ngf
ormy
phoneinmypocketanddial
i
nghim.
Hepickesupaft
eraf
ewr
ingsandaf
emal
evoi
ce
comest hr
ough.
Igett
onguet
iedandcl
earmyt
hroat
.
“
Hel
l
o”Isay
.
“
Hi”t
hef
emal
evoi
cesay
s.
“
Hi,
canIspeakt
oNqubekopl
ease”Isay
.
“OhIam sor
rybuthe’
sint
heshowerri
ghtnow
shoul
dItakeamessage”sheasks.
“
Uhm no”Isayendi
ngt
hecal
l
.
Ilookatt
hescreenonemor
eti
met
oseei
fIdi
aled
theri
ghtper
son.
Idon’tr
ememberNqubekotel
l
ingmeabouta
gir
lf
ri
endormaybehedidandIneverpai
dat
tent
ion
toit
.
Imakemyhomehomeandf i
ndKhethiwewat er
ing
herherfl
owers,
sheisver
yfondofthatgardenand
herhandisgoodevery
thi
ngsheplantsblossoms
beauti
ful
l
y.
Ihugherf
rom behi
ndandsheget
saf
rei
ghtpushi
ng
meaway
.
Istaggeroffandf
all
onmybut
tlooki
ngather
ter
rif
iedface.
“
Bay
ede”shesay
spl
aci
ngahandov
erherchest
.
“
Iam sor
ryIdi
dn’
tmeant
oscar
eyou”Isay
.
Sheshakesherheadhel
pingmeup.
“
It
’sokayIwasj
ustlosti
nmyownt
hought
s,how
wasschool
”sheasks.
“Schooli
sschool
Ican’
twai
tfornextweekIam t
ir
ed
ofhavingtot
ogotoschool
”Isay.
Shel
aughsr
aisi
ngherey
ebr
ows.
“
Comel
etsgoi
nsi
de”shesay
s.
Wewalki
nsi
dethehouseandt
hesmel
lofchi
cken
st
ockhi
tsmynostr
il
s.
“Imadeyourot
herfavori
techi
ckenfeetwi
th
dumpli
ngsandspinach”shesays.
Sheplat
esupfort
hebot
hofus,Iwashmyhands
andsett
ledownmymouthwateri
ng.
“
Howar
eyouf
eel
i
ngt
oday
”Iask.
Shesmi
l
esandsi
ghs.
“If
eelgoodgoi
ngouti
sexact
lywhatIneeded”she
says.
Shepul
l
smei
ntoherar
msst
il
lsmi
l
ing.
“YouknowthatIl
ovey
our
ightmor
ethanany
thi
ng”
shesays.
Inodmyhead.
“
AndthatIwoul
dany
thi
ngf
ory
ouYey
eIwoul
dki
l
l
f
oryou”shesay
s.
Ipul
lawayandlookathersmi
l
ingpl
aci
ngmyhands
onherfacel
i
keNqubekodoeswhenhewant
stoget
amessageacross.
“
Iwouldkil
lfory
ou,
Iwoul
dkil
lanyonet
hatwoul
d
wanthur
torharmyouIsweartoGodIwoul
dkil
l
t
hem”Isay.
Shel
aughsshaki
ngherhead.
“
Youar
enotamonst
erBay
ede”shesay
s.
“
Fory
ouIwoul
dbeany
thi
ng”Isay
.
“
Comeokl
etseat
”shesay
s.
Inodmyheadandst
arteat
ing.
Myphoneri
ngsthr
oughoutt
hemeal
Ilookatt
he
scr
eenandseeNqubeko’
sname.
Ipi
ckt
hecal
lupandexcusemy
sel
f.
“
Nqubeko”Isay
.
“
Bay
ede”hesay
ssof
tl
y.
“
Isawy
ourcal
lsor
ryIcoul
dn’
tpi
cki
tup”hesay
s.
“
Don’twor
ryaboutt
haty
ourgi
rl
fr
iendpi
ckedi
tup
f
oryou”It
ell
him.
Hesi
ghsi
nfr
ust
rat
ion.
“
She’
snotmygi
rl
fr
iendBay
ede”hesay
s.
“
Iguessshe’
syourf
uckbuddyt
hen”Isay
.
Hebur
sti
ntoadeepl
augh.
“
Idon’
tdof
uckbuddi
esBay
ede”hesay
s.
“
Whatdoy
oudot
hen”Iask.
“
Iwantt
odoy
ouandonl
yyou”hesay
s.
“
Kahl
eNqubeko”Isayf
eel
i
ngmycheeks bur
nup.
“
Imi ssy ou,
Imi
ssholdi
ngy
ouBay
edeandIcan’
t
waittocomehomesoIcanshowy ouhowmuchI
missy ou”hesays.
“
Imi
ssy
out
ooPhakat
hway
o”Isay
.
“
Ngi
yakut
handaBay
ede”hesay
s.
He’
sneversai
dthesewor
dsbef
oret
heycat
chme
of
fguar
d.
“
Youdon’thav
etosayanythi
ngIwi
l
lcal
lbackl
ater
t
hen”hesaysendi
ngthecall
.
Asmil
egr
owsonmyl
i
psasIt
hinkaboutNaubeko
l
ovi
ngme.

.
..
..
..
..
Bay
ede’
sKeeper

#4

Thecreaki
ngsoundtomybedr
oom opensand
sl
owlyshutsagai
n.
Ifeel
thi
sheavyweightont
opofmybedandcold
handssnaket
heirwayinsi
demymyblanket
s.
Iopenmyeyesandfi
ndmyfat
herl
ooki
ngatme,
hi
s
fi
ngeri
sonhisl
ipst
ell
ingmet
okeepqui
et.
“
Baba”Isay
.
Hesmi
l
esandshowsmeal
oll
i
pop.
“Mamadoesn’
twantuseat
ingsweet
satni
ght
”It
ell
him.
Hesmi
l
esandbr
ushesmyt
high.
“
Iknowbuti
twi
l
lbeourl
i
ttl
esecr
et”hesay
s.
Inodmyheadandwat
chasheunwr
apst
hel
oll
i
pop
forme.
Isuckoni
tandwat
chasheswal
l
owssmi
l
ing.
“
Yey
e”hesay
s.
Ir
aisemyey
esandsmi
l
e.
“
Babawant
stot
eachy
ousomet
hing”hesay
s.
Inodmyheadsmi
l
ing
“
Okay
”Isay
.
Hemakesmesi
tont
opofhi
m andl
aysbackcl
osi
ng
hi
sey
es.
Il
i
ckonmyl
oll
i
popandt
akeabi
teoutofi
tchewi
ng.
“
Canyoumovey
ourwai
stf
ordaddyl
i
ket
hisand
j
ump”hesay
spl
aci
nghi
shandsonmysmallwai
st
mov
ingme.
Hebr
eat
hesheav
il
yasImov
eandhappi
l
yjump.
“
Babai
sthi
sagame”Iask.
Henodshi
sheadsmi
l
ing.
“Yesi
t’
sagamebetweenyouandImommydoesn’
t
havet
oknowokay”hesay
s.
Hel
i
ftsmeupandpl
acesmeont
hesi
de.
Taki
ngof
fhi
spant
sst
il
ll
ooki
ngatme.
Hetakest
helol
li
popawayf
rom meandmakeme
t
ouchhispri
vat
e.
“
Don’
tbescar
edj
ustt
ouchdaddy
”hesay
s.
“
Doy
out
rustdaddy
”heasks.
Inodmyheadhesi
tant
ly.
“
Okayt
hengoaheadandt
ouchdaddy
”hesay
s.
It
ouchhim andwatchashecl
oseshi
sey
es
br
eathi
ngheavil
y.
Ihav
enev
erseenany
onebr
eat
hel
i
ket
his.
Heplaceshi
shandovermi
nemaki
ngmet
ight
enmy
gr
ipoverhi
spri
vat
e.
Het
ight
enshi
sjawshi
schestgoi
ngupanddown.
“
Rememberhowy
ousuckony
ourl
oll
i
pop”heasks.
Inodmyheadwat
chi
nghi
m pl
aceanot
herl
oll
i
pop
onthebed.
Hesi
tsupst
rai
ghtwhi
l
ehi
sshaf
tst
andsst
if
f.
“
Daddywant
syout
oki
sshi
m her
eokayl
i
kea
l
oll
i
pop”hesay
s.
Il
ookathi
spr
ivat
eandsqui
ntmyey
es.
“
It
’sokayIpr
omi
sei
twon’
twon’
thur
t”Hesay
s.
Imovecloserandl
ickhim buthegr
absmyhead
andpushesmedownmyt hroatbur
nsast
hishar
d
l
iker
odhammer si
nsidemymout h.
It
ryget
tingupasIst
ruggl
etobreat
hebuthepushes
mefurt
herupanddownt i
l
lIt
hrowupalloverhi
m.
Hequi
ckl
ygetonhiskneesandvi
gorousl
ytouches
hi
msel
fspil
l
inghi
scum onthebed.
Il
ookathi
m cr
yinghehur
tme.
Hemov
escl
oserandwi
pesmyt
ear
s.
“Idon’
twantt
odot
hatagai
n,
Idon’
tli
ket
hisgame
baba”Isay
.
Her emai
nsquietandpl
acesmeonthefl
oorwhi
le
heremov esmysheetandput
sinanot
heronewhi
le
rehashi
ngastory.
“
Ifmommyaskswhathappenedwhatar
ewegoi
ng
t
osay”heasks.
Il
ookathim andwonderi
fal
lfat
her
’spl
ayt
hisgame
wi
ththei
rdaughter
s.
“
Bay
ede”hesnaps.
Il
ookupandwi
pemyt
ear
smyt
hroatbur
ning.
“
ThatIpeedonmy
sel
f”Isay
.
“Goodremembert
hisi
sourl
i
ttl
esecr
etokay
”he
saysInodmyhead.
Heplacesmeont
hebedandt
ucksmei
nwal
ki
ng
out
.

Iopenmyey estot
hedoorshut
ti
ngandsi
tup
str
aightbreathi
ngheav
il
yIwasfi
vewhenhestar
ted
j
ustfive.
Igr
abmyphoneanddi
alNqubeko.
I
t’
slatebutheusual
lyt
akesmycal
l
shet
akest
ime
buthefi
nall
ydoes.
“
Bay
ede”Hesay
sinagr
oggyv
oice.
“
Heywhat
’swr
ong”heasks.
“
It
’stheni
ght
mar
esNqubekot
heywon’
tleav
eme”I
t
ellhi
m.
Hesi
ghsdef
eat
edl
y.
“
Iam sor
ry”hesay
s.
“
Whywon’
ttheyl
eav
emeNqubeko”Iasksni
ff
ing.
“Idon’
tknowbutIam sor
ryt
hatIam nott
her
eto
holdyou”hesay
s.
“
Tel
lmeaboutt
heni
ght
mar
es”hesay
s.
Ibi
temylowerl i
pandhol dmytearsIcannevert
ell
anyoneaboutthisnotevenNqubekohewouldlook
atmedifferent
ly,
Ibeti
fhelear
nedaboutthegames
hewouldf i
ndmer epul
sive.
“
It
’snot
hingser
iousIj
ustkeepf
all
i
ngi
ntoadar
k
whol
e”Il
ie.
“
Bay
ede”hesay
ssof
tl
yinapl
eadi
ngv
oice.
“Iam sorr
ythatIwokey
ouIshoul
dn’
thav
e”Isay
endi
ngt hecall
.
Igetof
fthebedandheadt
oKhet
hiwe’
sbedr
oom.
Iknockbef
orel
ett
ingmy
sel
finshet
urnsherhead
l
ooki
ngatme.
“
Hey
”shesay
ssoundi
ngr
eli
eved.
“
Ican’
tsl
eep”Isay
.
“Ohy oupoorbabycomesl
eepnextt
oyourbi
g
sist
er”shesays.
Igeti
nnextt
oherandl
aymyheadonherpi
l
low.
“
Ican’
tseem t
oremembermama”It
ell
her
.
Shedeepl
ysi
ghsandt
akesmyhandi
ntoher
s.
“Andt
hat’
sokayy
ouknowwhybecauset
hat’
sli
fe
andwit
hti
mewehealandf
orget
”shesays.
“
Mamawasagoodper
sonr
ight
”Iaskf
eel
i
ngal
ump
f
ormi
nmythr
oat
.
Shel
ooksatmesmi
l
ing.
“Mamawasanamazi ngper
sonshewasagood
motherandshel
ovedusmorethanany
thi
ng”she
says.
“Iam af
raidt
hatonedayIwon’
trememberherf
ace
thatIwi
llgobywithnomemori
esofherwit
hus”I
say.
Shewi
pesmyt
ear
sandl
aughssof
tl
y.
“
Iam her
earen’
tI?andIam notgoi
ngany
wher
eI
wi
ll
alwaysbehere”shesay
s.
Ir
estmyheadonhershoul
der
.
“
Ilov
eyou”Isay
.
“
Ilov
eyout
oo”shesay
s.

Iwokeupear lyi
nthemor
ningandcleanedt
hen
preparedbreakf
ast
,wi
thmyfathergoneonecan
breatheeasil
y.
Khethi
wejoi
nsmelookingwellrest
edshekept
fi
dgeti
ngandmumbli
ngi nhersleepbutIhel
dher
andsheseemedokaythroughouttheni
ght.
Shesmi
l
est
aki
ngherseat
.
“
Ihopey
ouwon’
tbel
ate”shesay
slooki
ngatt
he
t
ime.
“
Iwon’
t”
Isay
.
“
Iwi
shbabaget
shi
tbyabussanddi
es”Isay
.
Shechocksonherj
uiceandl
aughs.
“
Iknowy
ouhav
ethoughtabouti
ttoo”Isayl
aughi
ng.
Aknockcomest
hroughandNqubekowal
ksi
n.
Igetonmyf
eetandf
li
ngi
ntohi
sar
mshol
dingon
ti
ght.
Ipul
lawayandl
ookathi
sti
redey
est
il
ti
ngmyhead.
“
Ihadt
ocome”hesay
s.
“
Sbar
isam”Mysi
stersay
sal
readypl
ati
ngupf
orhi
m.
“
SawubonaMakhet
hi”hesay
ssmi
l
ing.
Ipul
lhi
shandandhav
ehi
m set
tl
enextt
ome.
“Sowhatbri
ngsyouherewhenyouaresupposedt
o
beinschoolhav
ingcl
ass”Khet
hiwesay
s.
Hel
ooksatmeandsqueezesmyhand.
“Ihadtoseethi
soneher
eandmakesur
eshe’
s
okay”hesays.
“Thenyoutwoshoul
deatbecauseyourgi
rl
fr
iend
hereneedstol
eavef
orschool”Khet
hiwesays
standi
nguptaki
ngherpl
atewith.
Shel
eav
esusal
oneandNqubekol
ooksatme.
“Youknowt hati
fyoudon’
ttal
ktomet
henIcan’
t
helpyou”hesays.
Inodmyheadandpi
ckupmypeanutbut
terandj
am
toast
edbr
ead.
Hesmi
l
esshaki
nghi
sheadandt
akesabi
te.
“
Thanky
ouf
orcomi
ngi
tmeansal
ot”Isay
.
Henodsandt
akesasi
pofmycof
fee.
“
Sot
hatgi
rlwhopi
ckedupy
ourphone”Isay
.
“
YouknowIknewy ouwer
en’tgoi
ngtol
etthi
sgoso
t
ellmehavey oust
abbedandcussedmeinyour
mind”heasks.
Il
aughoutl
oudbecausehe’
sri
ght
.
“
Justal
i
ttl
e”Isay
.
“
Andar
eyouf
eel
i
ngbet
ternow”heasks.
Inodmyheadsmi
l
ing.
“
GoodnoweatupsoIcandr
opy
ouof
f”hesay
s.
Wef
ini
shupandIsaymygoodby
etoKhet
hiwe.
Nqubekokeepshi
shandonmyt
highashedr
ives
metoschool.
Apartf
rom myf
atherhe’
stheonl
yper
sont
oev
er
touchmeinasexualway.
Ihav
enev
erf
eltcomf
ort
abl
ewi
thanyoneel
sebut
hi
m.
Hepar
kst
hecarout
sidet
hegat
eandsi
ghs.
“
Doy
out
rustme”heasks.
Ir
emembermyfathert
heoneper
sonIt
houghtwas
meantt
oprot
ectmesomeonewhowasaher oi
nmy
ey
esaskmethesamewor ds.
Inodmyheadsmi
l
ing.
“
Thental
ktomeBayedewhat
everi
tisthat
’s
t
roubl
i
ngyoupl
easetal
ktome”hepleads.
“
Iam okayIj
usthadani
ght
mar
ethat
’sal
l
”It
ell
him.
Henodshi
shead.
“
Ify
ousayso”hesay
s.
“
Whenar
eyoucomi
ngbackhome”Iask.
“
AssoonasIam donewithmyexams”hesay
s
r
eachi
ngi
nthebackseat
.
“Thi
sisforyou”hesay
sgi
vi
ngmeaboxofl
i
ndor
chocol
ates.
“ImeantwhatIsaidIonlywanttodoy ouandonl
y
youandIam sorrythatGingerpi
ckedupmyphone”
hesays.
“
Ginger
?issheadog”Iask.
Hel
aughsshowi
ngof
fhi
sper
fect
lyal
i
gnedt
eet
h.
Godsur
etookhist
imecr eat
inghi
mit
’si
nthewayhe
l
aughsandsmi
lesthathasmeweakintheknees.
“
Noshe’
sjustast
udypar
tnernot
hingmor
e”hesay
s.
Inodmyhead.
Hel
eanscl
osef
oraki
sspar
ti
ngmyl
i
ps.
Aknockonthewi
ndowst
art
lesus,
webothpul
laway
andl
ookatPhet
hil
emaki
ngfunnyf
ace.
“
Ishoul
dgoi
nsi
de”Isay
.
Hekissesmyfor
eheadandsmil
estaki
ngoutaf
ew
not
esf r
om hi
swall
etheshov
esthemoneyinmy
handsandunl
ockst
hedoor
.
Heki
ssesmyf
oreheadst
il
lkeepi
nghi
ssmi
l
e.
“Foreheadki
ssesar
ethebest”Phet
hil
esays
draggingmeinsi
detheschoolpr
emises.
It
urnandseeNqubekol
eani
ngagai
nsthi
scar
l
ooki
ngatus.
Iblowhi
m aki
ssandwat
chashesubt
lycat
chesi
t
placi
nghi
shandonhi
schest
.

.
..
..
..
Bay
ede’
skeeper

#5

It
’sbeenaweeknowandmyf atherisnowheretobe
seen.Mysisterl
aughsmoreshetalksmor eand
she’shappyIam st
art
ingt
othinkmyf atheri
sthe
problem.
Ikeeppray
ingf
oraphonecall
thattel
l
sushedied
onhiswaybackhomeorthathegotbitt
enbydogs
thatshr
edhimtopi
ecesandhedied.
Iam donewithmyfinal
examsanditfeel
sgood
knowingthatsoonmyli
feisaboutt
ochange.
Iappl
i
edatthr
eepr est
igi
ousuni
versi
ti
esbutatt
he
sametimeIam hopingtojoi
nNqubeko.
Iam hopi
ngfort
hebestwhenitcomestomyr esul
t
GodsknowIhaveworkedhard,
Khethi
we’stut
ori
ng
hasn’
tgonedownthedrai
nifanyt
hingIwantto
makeherandNqubekoproud.
Il
ookatmy
sel
fint
hemi
rr
orandsmi
l
elastni
ght
Khet
hiwechangedmyhai
rst
yle.
Iwal
ktoherbedroom andfindhersl
eepi
ngwhi
chi
s
oddsheneversl
eepslate.
Iwakeherandsheopensherey
essmi
l
ing.
“
What
’swr
ongar
eyousi
ck”Iask.
SheshakesherheadNo.
“
Iam t
ir
edt
hat
’sal
l
”shesay
slooki
ngatme.
“
Wher
ear
eyougoi
ng”sheasks.
“
Nqubekocal
l
edbutdon’
twor
ryIwon’
tbel
ong”
Isay
.
Shenodsherheadandj
ustt
henherphoner
ings.
“
It
’sBandi
l
e”Isayhandi
nghert
hephone.
Shel
ooksatmewai
ti
ngf
ormet
oleav
e.
“
Iwi
l
lleav
etoi
tthen”Isayst
andi
ngup.
“
Iwil
lfi
xyousomethi
ngt
oeatokayj
ustchecki
n
micr
owave”Isay
.
“
Thanky
ounowst
artwal
ki
ng”shesay
s.
Iwal
koutmaki
ngmywayt otheki
tchen,
ther
eisn’
t
muchfoodi
nthehousej
usteggsandRussians.
She’
sbeenasel ect
iveeat
erlat
elysoImakemyway
backtoherbedroom andstoponmyt r
ackswhenI
hearhershout
ing.
Ideci
denott
oli
steni
nandheadbackt
otheki
tchen
tomakehersomefood.
If
ini
shupandgr
abmybackwal
ki
ngout
.
If
indNqubekoalr
eadyparkedout
sidet
hegatehe
st
epsoutofthecarandpull
smeintohisar
ms.
Heki
ssesmycheekandpul
l
sawayopeni
ngt
hedoor
f
orme.
“
Thanky
ou”Isay
.
Heget
sonhi
ssi
deoft
hecaranddr
ivesof
f.
Wegett
othemal
landmakeourwayt
oBur
gerKi
ng.
Weor
dersomemi
l
kshakes,
bugger
sandcol
ddr
ink.
Heinsi
stsoft
hemil
kshakeandor
der
ingameal
for
Khethi
weandIdon’
tpr
otest
.
Wesett
ledownont
hecor
nert
abl
eandhav
eour
meal
.
“
Youar
ebeaut
if
ulBay
ede”hesay
s.
“
Thanky
ouNqubeko”Isay
.
Il
ookathimtaki
ngabiteofhi
sbur
gerandsmi l
e
ev
erythi
nghedoesjustput
sasmil
eonf ace.
“Idon’
twanty
oust
opl
ooki
ngatmel
i
ket
hat
”he
says.
“
Inev
erwi
l
l”Isay
.
Her
eachesf
ormyhandandsmi
l
es.
“Sohowlongwi
ll
y ourfat
herbegoneIwashopi
ng
youcoul
dspendthetime”hesaysst
il
lhol
i
ngmy
hand.
Il
ookathimtonguetiedwi
tht
heni
ght
mar
esgoi
ng
onIam notsur
eifIcan.
“
It
’sokayi
fyouar
enotr
eady
”hesay
ssof
tl
y.
“
NoIam i
t’
sjustt
hatt
her
eissomet
hingIhav
en’
t
t
oldy
ou”Isay.
Henodshi
sheadl
ooki
ngi
ntomyey
es.
“Howaboutwef
ini
shher
ethenwecant
alki
nthe
car”hesay
s.
Inodmyheadf
ini
shi
ngupmymeal
.
Het
akesmyhandaswebot
hwal
koutt
othecar
.
Amomentofsil
encepassesbet
weenuswi
th
Nqubeko’
sey
esonme.
“
Inev
ercr
iedf
ormymot
her
”It
ell
him.
“
Iknowmymothertol
dme, ev
eryonethoughtyou
wer
ethemostbr
avestyoungli
tt
legir
l”hesays.
Ishakemyheadbr
eaki
ngey
econt
act
.
“Iwasn’
tbraveIwasjustangr
yathernotknowing
butnowthatIam olderIcr
ymy sel
ftosl
eepbecause
Imissher”Iadmit
.
Heholdsmyhandt
ight
eni
nghi
shol
dgi
vi
ngmet
he
st
rengtht
ogoon.
“
Myfatherwoul
dcometomyroom atni
ghtandwe
woul
dplayagameofl
oll
i
pop”Isay
.
Hi
shandl
oosensov
ermi
neandmyhear
tbr
eaks.
“
WhatgameBay
ede”heasks.
“
Hewouldaskmet otouchhi
m andhet oowoul
d
t
ouchme,thenhewouldaskmet oplaywit
hpeni
s
t
il
li
tgothardandputi
tinmymout h”Isay.
Hi
sbreathi
ngchangesandhi
shol
dov
ert
hest
eer
ing
wheel
tight
ens.
“Iwasonlyf
ivewhenhestar
ted,hesai
dIcouldtr
ust
himthathewasmyf at
herandweshoul dpl
aythe
game.Heusedt obr
ingmeloll
ipopeveryni
ghthe
wantedmetoplayhisgame”Isay .
“Idi
dn’tknowt hati
twaswr ongt hathewasn’ t
supposedt ot ouchmel ikethat
,hewashur ti
ngme
everynightandIwoul dgetamout hinfect
ionev ery
mont h.Onedayhet oldmet hatheisgroomi ngme
andIshoul dn’tbeafraidbecauseallfat
hersdidt hat
withtheirgir
ls”Isay.
Il
ooksathi
m bi
ti
nghi
sli
pshi
sjawscl
enched.
“Iam sor
ryt
hatdi
dthatIdi
dn’
tknowi
twaswr
ong”
I
say.
Helooksatmeandf
ort
hef
ir
stt
imeev
erIcan’
t
seem t
oreadhi
m.
“
Forhowl
ong”heasks.
“Ti
l
lIwas11thenhest
oppedaf
termamadiedbut
hesai
donedayhewouldcomebackandhewould
t
eachmet herealgameandIthatIwoul
denj
oy
mysel
f”Iwipestear
ssni
ff
ing.
Henodshi
sheadsteppi
ngoutoft
hecar,
hewal
ks
ov
ertomysideandopenst
hedoorpul
li
ngmeout.
“
Iam sor
ry”hesay
shol
dingmet
ight
.
Hi
sst
rongarmsassur
emet
hatev
ery
thi
ngi
sgoi
ng
t
obeokay.
“
Ipr
omi
sehewon’
tev
erhur
tyou”hesay
s.
Hepull
sawayandwi
pesmyt
ear
ski
ssi
ngmy
f
orehead.
“Youwerey
oungBayedet
hatmantookadvant
age
ofyouhemolest
edyouwhenhewassupposedto
prot
ecty
ou”hesays.
“He’
snotamanandhedeser
vestobelockedup
andhavet
hekeyt
hrownaway”hesay
s.
“
Iam sosor
ryst
handwasam”hesay
swi
pingmy
t
ear
s.

Wegeti
nthecaranddr
ivebackhomesi
l
entIcan
hearhi
m breat
he,
Icanhearhi
m bat
tl
ingt
heanger
andemotionsboi
l
inginsi
dehi
m.
Idon’tknowwhattosayhehasn’tl
ookedmyway
sincewegotinthecarIdon’
tblamehim
though,somet
imesItoocan’
tlookmyselfi
nthe
mi r
ror.
Hepar
ksthecarout
sidet
hegat
eandsi
ghski
l
li
ng
t
heengi
ne.
“
Ift
heofferst
il
lstandsIwoul
dli
ketocomespend
t
henight
,wedon’thavetodoany
thi
ng”Isay
.
Henodshi
sheadf
aint
lysmi
l
ing.
Ist
epoutoft
hecarandr
ushi
nsi
det
hehouse.
Idr
opthet
akeawaybaguponhear
ingKhet
hiwe
scr
eam.
Idi
dn’
tknowhewasbackthekit
chenf
loorisbl
oody
andhekeepsonki
cki
ngkhet
hiweonherstomach.
She’
snolongercr
yingbutwhi
mper
inghercr
iesar
e
l
owitbr
eaksmyhear t.
“Babapleasest
opyou’
rehurt
ingher”Isayt
ryi
ngt
o
pullhi
m awayfr
om herbuthepushesmeof f
.
Istandupandr eachf
ort
hehar
dst
eel
panandhi
t
him ontheback.
Hetur
nsandlooksatmej
ustasIam aboutt
ohi
t
hi
m onemoreti
me.
Hesl
apsmeacr
osst
hef
aceandpushesmeagai
nst
t
hewall
.
“
Got
oyourr
oom Bay
ede”hewar
ns.
“
Bay
eder
un”khet
hiwesay
s.
Igetonmyf
eetandr
unt
owar
dsNqubeko’
scar
.
Hefoll
owsmeinsi
dethehouseandst
il
lthi
sman
cont
inueski
cki
ngher
.
Nqubekopusheshim of
fandpuncheshi
minthe
face,
heget
sont opofhi
m andthr
owsinpunchaft
er
punch.
“Nqubekoweneedt
ogethert
othehospi
tal
please”
Isay.
It
urnandl
ookatNqubekpst
il
lthr
owi
ngpunches.
“
Nqubekost
op”Ishout
.
“
Thi
smandeser
vest
odi
eBay
ede”Nqubekoshout
s.
“Nqubekopleaseshe’
sgoingtodi
eifwedon’
tget
hertothehospit
alngi
yakucel
aPhakat
hwayo”Isay
.
Hepul
lsawayf
rom myfat
herandpi
cksKhet
hiweup
r
ushi
nghertot
hecar.
Hedr
ivesof
fmaki
nghi
swayt
othehospi
tal
.
Weareatatt
endedt
oassoonast henur
sessee
Nqubekocar
ryi
ngabloodyKhet
hiwe.
Theytakehert
oanemer
gencyr
oom whi
l
ewewai
t
forher
.
“Ican’tl
oseherNqubekonotmysi
ster
”Isay
shakingmyhead.
“Iwon’
tsur
viv
eifshel
eav
esme”Hepul
l
smei
nto
hisar
ms.
“
She’
singoodhandsshewon’
tleav
eyou”hesay
s.
Afewhoursofmepacingupanddownthehospi
tal
wait
ingar
ea,
thedoct
orcomesoutmaki
nghiswayto
us.
“
Howi
sshe”Iask.
“
She’
sst
abl
e,
lostal
otofbl
oodduet
othepr
egnancy
butwemanagedt
ost
opt
hei
nter
nal
bleedi
ng”t
he
doct
orsay
s.
“
Pregnancy
”Iask.
“Yoursi
sterwaspr egnantbutshel
ostt
hebaby
othert
hant hatshe’
sstrongandshe’
sgoingt
obe
okay”hesay s.
Hewal
ksawayl eav
ingmedumbfoundedKhet
hiwe
waspr
egnantandshesai
dnothi
ng.
“
Iam sosor
ry”Nqubekosay
s.
“
IneedtocallBandi
leheneedst
oknowt
hatshe’
sin
t
hehospit
al”Isay.
Nqubekonodshi
sheadst
il
lhol
dingmyhand.
Anur
seaccompaniedbytwopoli
ceof
fi
cer
swal
k
ov
ertousbef
oreIcandialBandi
l
e.
Il
ookatNqubekowhoshr
ugshi
sshoul
der
s.
“
Bay
edeMhl
ongo”oneoft
hepol
i
ceof
fi
cer
sasks.
Inodmyhead.
“Iam sor
ryabouty
oursi
sterwewerecal
l
edbyt
he
hospi
talaft
ershewasbr
oughtin,
wemanagedt
o
tal
ktoherandshement i
onedthaty
ourfatherdid
thi
stohersinceshe’
sinpai
nandmi ghtbemi st
aken
wewouldl i
ketoknowfrom y
ouwhathappened”t he
poli
ceof
ficerasks.
“Iwasn’
thomebutwhenIgotbackshewasont he
fl
oorandourfat
herwasr epeat
edl
ykicki
ngheri
nthe
stomach,
Itr
iedhel
pingherbuthepushedmeoffand
Ihitt
hewall
”Isay.
Helooksatmyf or
eheadwher
ether
e’sabumpand
nodshishead.
“Canyougiv
eusyouraddressaswel
last
hename
andsurnameofy
ourfatherhesay
s.
Igi
vehi
m ev
ery
thi
ngheneedsandwatchast
hey
wal
kawaymumbli
ngtothemsel
ves.
Iset
tl
ebackdownonthebenchr
est
ingmyheadon
Nqubeko’
sshoul
der
.

Thewai
ti
ngiskil
li
ngmebutthenur
set
ell
susthat
evenweseehershewon’
tsaymuchsi
nceshe’
sout
ofit
.
“Youshouldgohomey ourpar
ent
smustbewor
ri
ed”
Isayl
ookingatNqubeko.
“
NoIam notl
eav
ingy
ouher
eal
one”hesay
s.
“
Iwi
l
lgetussomet
hingt
odr
ink”hesay
sst
andi
ngup.
Hestopsandl
ookstowar
dst
hedoorast
hreepol
i
ce
of
fi
cerswalkt
owardsus.
Igetonmyfeetandst
andnextt
ohi
mtheypr
obabl
y
for
gotsomethi
ng.
Theygetcl
oserandInot
iceoneofmyf
ather
’spol
i
ce
fr
iend.
“
NqubekoPhakathwayo”t
heonewhohappenst
obe
myfat
her’
sfr
iendsays.
Nqubekochuckl
esshaki
nghishead,
hecanbe
ar
rogantandsmugsometimes.
“
LetguessIam ar
restedf
orprotect
ingKhethi
we
f
rom hermonst
erfatheri
sn’
tthatri
ghtMt hembu”
Nqubekoasksl
ookingatmyfather’
sfri
end.
“Youareunderarrestf
ortheassaul
ttocause
gri
evousharm,anythi
ngyousaywi l
lbeusedagai
nst
youinthecourtoflawshouldyounotbeableto
af
fordal
awyerthestat
ewi l
lprov
ideonef
ory
ou”
Mthembusayshandcuff
inghim.
“Callmyparentsandtel
lthem whathappeneddon’
t
l
eav eany
thingoutBayedeokay ”Inodmyhead
holdi
ngmy selffr
om cry
ingmyl ungsout
.

.
..
..
..
..
..
Bay
ede’
sKeeper

#6

Nqubeko’
sfat
herl
ooksatmer
ubbi
nghi
sfor
ehead.
Ihaveseenhim angrywit
hNqubekobef
orebutnow
he’
sat ot
all
ydif
ferentangr
y.
Nqubeko’
smothertr
iescal
minghim downbuthe
r
efusestoev
enli
stentoreason.
Weareatthepol
i
cestat
ionandMrPhakat
hwayois
demandi
ngtoseehi
ssonandhavehimrel
eased.
Nqubekoget
sbr oughti
nandit
’sj
ustme,his
par
ents,
myfatherandthepol
i
ceoffi
cer
si ncl
udi
ng
Mthembu.
“
Willsomeonet
ell
mewhat
’sgoi
ngher
e”Nqubeko’
s
f
atherasks.
“Yoursonassaul
tedmrMhlongoher
easyoucan
seehe’sbr
uisedandbat
ter
ed”Mthembusays.
“
Nqubekodi
dyoudot
his”Hi
sfat
herasks.
Hel
ooksatmeandnodshi
shead.
“DammitNqubekoIdi
dn’
trai
seahool
i
gan”Mr
Phakat
hwayoshouts.
“
Babapl
easecal
m down”Nqubeko’
smot
hersay
s.
“
Babat
hismani
samonst
er”Nqubekoshout
s.
“Seeoffi
cer
sthatt
emperri
ghtt
hisboyi
sdangerous
andIdon’twanthi
m any
wherenearmydaught
ers”
Myf at
hersays.
“Yourdaught
ers,
youhavenoshameaf t
ermol
est
ing
afiveyearol
dforyear
sdoingdespi
cabl
ethi
ngst
o
her”Nqubekoblur
tsout.
Theroom goessi
l
entandNqubeko’
smot
herl
ooks
atme.
“
Yey
e”shesay
s.
Inodmyheadl
ooki
ngatmyf
atherwhoshakeshi
s
head.
“
That
’sal
i
e”myf
athersay
scal
mly
,
“
Bay
eder
ight
”oneoft
heof
fi
cerasks.
Inodmyheadswal
l
owi
ng.
“
Hast hi
smanev ert
ouchedyoui
nani nappropr
iat
e
way?don’tbeaf
rai
dyoucantel
lus”Inodmyhead
l
ookingatNqubeko,
ri
ghtnowhe’
smyst rength.
Theof
fi
cerdeepl
ysi
ghsandl
ooksatmyf
ather
.
“
Sirt
heseareser
iousal
l
egat
ionschi
l
dmol
est
ati
on”
t
heoffi
cersay
s.
Myf
athershakeshi
sheadandl
ooksatme.
“Off
icertr
ustmeal lt
hisi
snot
hingbutalie,
my
daughterhasal
way sbeenatr
oubledyounggirl
whenhermot herdiedshenev
ercriednordidshe
showanyemot ions.
Wetookhertoat her
api
stwholatertol
dusthatshe
hasbeentr
aumatizedbyhermother’
sdeathandthat
shewouldsometimesmakeupst ori
esthatwer
en’t
tr
ue”hesaysbl
inkingawaytear
s.
Ri
ghtt
her
eist
her
edev
ilcomi
ngoutt
opl
ay.
“That’
snottr
uehe’sly
inghewouldcomet
omy
bedroom andwanttoplay
”Isay
.
“
Andhowoldwer ey
ouwhent
hishappened”
Mthembuasks.
“
Iwasf
ive”Isayhesi
tant
ly.
“Off
icer
spleasedon’ toverwhelm hershe’sstil
lvery
muchf i
ndingithar ddealingwi t
hthef actthather
motherdiedwhent heywer ey oung,Ihavebeen
taki
ngcareofmychi ldr
ensincemywi feleftusand
thi
sisnotthef i
rsttimeshe’ sment ionedsomet hing
asdespicabl
east his”hesay swipinghist ear
s.
Hel
ooksatNqubeko’
sfat
herandsi
ghs.
“
SizweImaybemanythingsbutIwouldneverhur
t
mygir
lsl
iket
hatIwoul
dnev erdot
hat”hesays.
“
Babadon’tl
i
stent
othi
smanhe’
snot
hingbutal
i
ar”
Nqubekosay
s.
“Iswearhewoul
dmakemetouchhim andhewould
puthispeni
sinmymout
handforcemet osuckhi
m”
Isay.
Nqubeko’smot
hermov
escl
oseandhol
dsme
comfort
ingme.
“
Howcoul
dyoudot
hist
oachi
l
dSabel
o”sheasks.
“Bayedei
ssi
ckokaysheissi
cksheneedsser
ious
help,
she’
smaki
ngall
thi
suplikeIsai
dmydaughter
i
sat
roubl
edy
ounggi
rl
”hesay
s.
“MaIwoul
dneverl
i
eaboutsomet
hingl
i
ket
hisand
nowhe’
shurtmysi
ster
”Isay
.
“
Thechil
dwouldn’
tcryli
kethi
sifshewasn’
ttel
l
ing
t
hetr
uth”Mrphakathwayosays.
Myf
athernodshi
sheadanddr
opshi
sshoul
der
s.
“I
fthat
’sthecasethenarr
estmeoffi
cer
sbutIwi
ll
saythi
sIam droppingt
hechargesagai
nthi
sboy
”he
sayssoundingl
ikeasaint
.
Thepol
i
ceof
fi
cerl
ooksatmeanddeepl
ysi
ghs.
“Iam sorr
ybutuntil
lyoursist
erwakesupand
coll
aborat
esy ourst
orythenwecan’tkeephimi n
custody,
asf ort
heotheral
legati
onsy ouneedt
o
makeaf ullstat
ementandani nvest
igati
onwil
l
ensue”Mt hembusays.
“Fornowyoucanal
lgohomei
t’
sbeenal
ongni
ght
”
heconti
nues.
“Soyouarelet
ti
nghim gohometocont
inuewher
e
helef
toffandrapeher
”Nqubekosays.
“
Nqubekocal
m down”hi
sfat
hersay
slooki
ngatme.
Hi
sey
esar
ethat
’sofaf
atherf
ull
ofconcer
n.
“
Iwil
lnotl
etBayedegohomewi
tht
hissi
ck
mani
pulat
iveman”hesays.
“Fi
nebutIwantyoutoknowt hi
sBay edethatwhen
youhavecalmeddownandhav eseeny ourerrors
youcancomehome,Iwill
bet herewaiti
ngfory ou
becauseyouaremydaughterandIlovey ouandI
hateseei
ngyouli
kethi
s”hesay ssoundingbroken.
Tearsfall
whenIlookint
ohiseyeshowcanheli
e
l
ikethi
s,howcanhesayal l
thi
sandsti
l
llookmein
theeyewi t
houtbl
i
nking.
“ComeBayedel
etsgohome”
Nqubeko’
smot
hersay
s
helpi
ngmeup.

Thedr i
vetoNqubeko’shouseisqui etIcant
ell
everyonei
sdeepint hei
rthoughts.Nqubeko’
sfather
parksthecarandstepsoutwi t
hhi swife.
“
It
’sokaybabawewi l
lcomein,
wej
ustneedsome
t
imealone”Nqubekosays.
Hi
sfat
hernodsandhol
dhi
swi
fe’
shandheadi
ng
i
nsi
det
hehouse.
Myhandsar
eshaki
ngIam consumedwi
thanger
andr
agemybreat
hingskyr
ockets.
Hetri
eshol
dingmyhandbutIr
etr
actandshakemy
head.
“
HeliedNqubeko,heli
edandmademeseem l i
keI
waslyi
ng.Iam notly
ingNqubekoIswearIam
t
ell
i
ngt hetr
uth”Isay.
“
Iknowy
ou’
re,
sthandwasam l
ookatme”hesay
s.
It
urnmyheadandl
ookathi
shandsomef
ace.
Hesmi
l
esandt
akesmyhandki
ssi
ngi
t.
“Iknowwhatthatmandidtoyou,
Icoul
dseei
tinhi
s
eyeshewaslyingt
hroughhist
eethandhewon’
tget
awaywit
hit”hesays.
“
Comeher
e”hesay
s.
Hepul
l
smecl
oseandIr
estmyheadonhi
schest
.
“
Ihat
ehi
m Nqubekosomuch”Isay
.
“
Iknowy
oudo”hesay
ssof
tl
y.
Itt
akesawhi l
eforustogetinsi
dethehouse,t
omy
surpri
sehi
sparentsaresi
tt
inginthel
ivi
ngroom
havingwhatsoundsli
keaprivat
econversat
ion.
Nqubekoholdsmyhandaswequi
etl
ymakeourway
t
ohisbedroom.
“
Bay
edewi
l
lsl
eepi
nPhet
hil
e’
sroom”hi
sfat
hersay
s.
Nqubekodoesn’
tsayany
thi
ngandcont
inuespul
l
ing
metohisbedroom.
“
Nqubekodon’
tmakemer
epeatmy
sel
f”hi
sfat
her
war
ns.
“
Ngi
zwi
l
ebaba”Nqubekosay
s.
Wepar
twayswithhi
m goi
ngt
ohi
sbedr
oom andme
goi
ngt
oPhethi
l
e’s.
Shequickl
yget
supf
rom herbedandgi
vesmea
ti
ghthug.
“
How’
sKhet
hiwe”sheasks.
“
She’
sfi
net
hedoct
orsai
dshewi
l
lbeokay
”Isay
.
Ipul
lawayf
rom herhol
dandsmi
l
e.
“
Iguessbabasai
dyoushoul
dsl
eepi
nmyr
oom”she
say
slaughi
ng.
Inodmyhead.
“He’
sabuzzki
l
lsomet
imes”shesay
sshr
uggi
ngher
shoul
der
s.
“Herethesewi
l
lfi
t”shesay
sof
fer
ingmeher
night
dress.
Shel
ooksatmeandt
il
tsherhead.
“
Arey
ouokayImeanr
eal
l
yokay
”sheasks.
“
Iam okay
”Isay
.
Shenodsherheadandgoesbackt
ogoi
ngt
hrough
herphone.
Itakeof
fmycl
othesandwrapat
owel
aroundmy
bodywit
hPhet
hil
elooki
ngatme.
“Hasmybr ot
hereverseeny
ounakedImeant
his
naked”sheasks.
“
Nowhy
”Iask.
“
Not
hingj
ustbei
ngcur
ious”shesay
s.
Iwal
koutofherbedr
oom andheadt
otheshowera
partofmefeel
snumbaf
terev
ery
thi
ngt
hat
happened.
Idr
opthet
owel
andst
epi
nsi
det
urni
ngont
hecol
d
water
.
Ever
ythi
ngmyf at
hersai
dkeepspl
ayi
ngi
tsel
fov
er
andoveragai
n.
Thecol
dwat
erhasnoef
fectov
erwhatIam f
eel
i
ng.
It
urnt
hewaterof
fandst
epoutwr
appi
ngt
het
owel
ar
oundmybody.
Ibumpint
oashi
rtl
essNqubekoonmywayoutand
nerv
ousl
ysmi
le.
Hadthi
ngsnotgonet
hewayt
heydi
dwewouldbei
n
eachotherar
ms,f
ort
hef
ir
stt
imeevert
hisman
wouldbelovi
ngme.
Hel
ooksar
oundandmov
escl
oserst
eal
i
ngaki
ss.
“
Nqubeko”Isaypul
l
ingaway
.
“
Iam sor
ry”hesay
scl
ear
inghi
sthr
oat
.
Iwal
kpasthi
m andheadt
oPhet
hil
e’
sbedr
oom.
Ichangei
ntoherni
ght
wearandgeti
nlay
ingnextt
o
her
.
Myphonegoesoffandamessagef
rom Nqubeko
comesthr
ough.
*
CanIseey
oupl
ease*t
het
extsay
s.
Aknockf
oll
owssoonaf
tert
het
ext
.
Isl
owl
ysl
i
poutoft
hebedandt
ipt
oet
othedoor
.
“Justmakesur
eyoucomeback”Phet
hil
esay
s
giggl
ing.
Ishutt
hedoorandf
oll
owNqubekot
ohi
sbedr
oom.
Hel
ockst
hedoorassoonaswear
ebot
hinsi
de.
“
Ijustwantt
oholdyou”hesay
spul
li
ngmecl
ose
wi
thhishandsgoi
ngdownt omyar
se.
Hel
ooksmei
ntheey
eandl
eanscl
osef
oraki
ss
Thekissdeepensasmyhandswr
apar
oundhi
sneck
pul
li
nghim evencl
oser
.
Myheartski
pswhenIf
eel
hishar
donpr
essi
ng
agai
nstme.
“
Nqubekoweshoul
dn’
tyourf
ather
”heshut
smeup
wi
thaki
ssandl
i
ftsmeup.
Myl
egscr
adl
ehi
m asIr
ubmy
sel
fagai
nsthi
m.
Heplacesmeont
hebedandget
sinbet
weenmy
t
highs.
“DammitBay
edeyou’r
enotweari
nganyunder
wear
”
hesay
scussingunderhi
sbr
eath.
Hetr
iespul
li
ngawaybutIpul
lhi
m backhetakest
he
l
eadwithhi
shandgoi
ngdownt omyentrance.
Ipul
ldownhi
sbrief
sandhav
ehishar
dbl
ackcork
outwhil
eheki
ssesmyneckdowntomyshoul
der
.
It
akeaglanceathisbeaut
if
ull
yvei
npopped
magni
fi
centcorkandswall
ow.
“
Don’
tst
op”It
ell
him.
Hel
ooksatmebeggi
ngf
ormyper
missi
on.
“
Please”Isay
.
Hetakesoffmynightwearandstopstol
ookatme
hi
smout hsli
ght
lydroppi
ng,asi
desmilespr
eads
acr
osshisli
pshiseyesblazi
ngwithdesi
reandneed.
“
Youar
ebeaut
if
ulBay
ede”hesay
ski
ssi
ngme.
Ispreadmyl
egswi
deandf
eel
hiscor
kbet
weenmy
thi
ghs.
Hecupsmybr
eastkneadi
ngt
hem i
ntohi
shands.
Hegentl
yli
cksmyni
ppl
eswhi
l
ehi
sfi
nger
swor
kme
downther
e.
Hel
eaveswetki
ssesdownmychestal
lthewayt
o
mynav
el.
Allt
hisgi
vesmegoosebumpssomuchsomyhear
t
rat
espikesup.
“
Rel
axf
ormeBay
ede”hecommands.
Ieaseintohi
stouchashi
stonguebr
ushesup
againstmycli
t.
Histeethgent
lygr
azeatmyal
readyswol
l
encl
i
t
buil
dingmeupmor e.
If
eelhi
sthumbgentl
ypr
essonmycl
i
tandhi
m
vi
gor
ouslyshaki
ngi
t.
“
Nqubeko”Iwhi
mperbei
ngatt
hemer
cyofhi
s
t
ongue.
Hegr
absmyar
sewi
thhi
sfaceeat
ingmeup.
Iscream hi
snamewhenheagai
npr
essesonmy
thr
obbingcli
t.
“
Ohhol
ymot
her
”Isaycumi
ngal
lov
erhi
sface.
Heplaceshi
shandonmyfl
atbel
l
ypr
essi
ngme
downwhilebl
owingai
r.
Tearsfal
lfr
om thecornerofmyey
esasanot
her
orgasi
m shoot
st hr
oughme.
Hecomestomyfacewi
thasmugsmi
l
eonhi
sface
andki
ssesme.
Imovemyhanddownt ohi
sshaf
tmyey
eswi
deni
ng
att
hefeel
ofhugeness.
Heshut
shi
sey
esandgr
owl
scl
enchi
nghi
sjaws.
“
Yey
eIcan’
t”hesay
s.
“
Phakat
hway
opl
easedon’
tdenymet
his”Isay
.
If
eel
hiscor
kpr
essagai
nstmywetent
rance.
Hepusheshi
msel
finandswal
l
owsashi
sbr
eat
hing
changes.
If
eel
thisneedl
eli
kef
eel
i
ngashesl
owl
ypushes
hi
mselfi
nstret
chi
ngme.
“
Arey
ouokay
?shoul
dIst
op”heasks.
Ishakemyheadaspainf
ulasi
tis,
Iwanthi
mtodo
thi
swebothneedthi
s.
Ineedi
tmor
eandheknowsi
t.
Hekissesmyf or
eheadandf
urt
herpusheshimsel
fin,
aloudscream l
eavesmymouthwhenhalfofhi
mi s
i
nside.
Hegi
vesmethat“
ifi
thur
ts”Icanpull
outl
ookbutat
t
hesameti
mehe’sbeggi
ngmet olethimi
n.
Ipul
lhi
m cl
oseforaki
ssandf
eel
mywal
l
sexpand
wit
heachpush.
If
eelmybreathl
eavemebuthi
sgent
lel
ookassur
es
methatt
hisisri
ght
.
Hekissesmyfor
eheadagai
nandentwinesbot
hour
handsashedeepl
ystr
okesandt
hrusts.
“
Ilov
eyouBay
ede”hesay
slooki
ngatme.
“
Ilov
eyouNqubeko”It
ell
him.
Her
est
shi
sfor
eheadonmi
nekeepi
ngey
econt
act
.
Tear
sfi
l
lhi
sey
esashebur
ieshi
sheadonmyneck.
Icl
osemyey
esshut
ti
ngev
ery
thi
ngoutandf
ocusi
ng
onthi
smoment
.

.
..
..
..
..
..
.
Bay
ede’
sKeeper

#7

It
’sbeendayswi t
hKhethi
weatt hehospi
tal
Nqubeko’sparentst
ookituponthemselv
estomake
surethatshegetstr
eat
edbet t
er.
Sincewecheckedonherandi
tdi
dn’
tseem l
i
kea
personwhogetti
ngbet
ter
.
Thepol
i
ceneverpai
dhervisi
tandi
nsi
stedthey
woul
dquest
ionheronceshe’
soutoft
hehospit
al.
Iam gr
atef
ult
oNqubeko’sparentsforbei
ngt
his
ki
ndandIam ashamedfordisrespect
ingt
hei
rhouse
i
nsuchaway .
Theyhav ebeent reat
ingmegoodandIhav
ebeen
repay
ingt heirki
ndnessbysl
eepi
ngwit
htheirson
undertheirroof.
Ithi
nkhismot
herknowst
hought
heknowi
ngl
ooks
shegiv
esmesayitall
.
AsforPhet
hil
enothi
ngr
unspastherandwel
lI
coul
dn’
tkeepthi
sawayfr
om her
.

Shewal
kinandt
hrowsher
sel
font
hebeddeepl
y
si
ghi
ng.
“
Ithi
nkMdui
scheat
ingonme”shesay
s.
Il
etgoofmyphoneandplaceitfacedownafter
checki
ngonmycupcakesorderandlookather.
“
Whywoul
dyout
hinkt
hat
”Iask.
Shesi
tsupst
rai
ghtandsi
ghs.
“He’
sbeendi st
antBayedeandsuddenl
yhisphone
hasapasswor d,
Idon’
tknowbutmygutf eel
i
ngtel
ls
met hathe’
scheati
ngonme”shesay sshaki
ngher
head.
Iwat
chast
ear
sbl
urherey
es.
“Af
terev
eryt
hingwehavebeent
hroughBayedehe
goesandcheatsonme”shesay
sinfrust
rat
ion.
Inodmyheadl
i
steni
ng.
“
Thener
veBay
edet
ocheatonme”shesay
sfi
ndi
ng
i
ttograspt
hatmancheat
ingonany
thi
ngand
ever
ythi
ng.
“Phet
hil
ewedon’tknowt
hathe’
scheat
ingsoI
suggestyoul
ookhimint
heeyeandaskhim”Isay
.
“
Andwhathappensi
fhel
i
es”sheaskswi
pingher
t
ear
s.
“Phethi
l
eyouknowyourmanbett
erthanany
one
elsesoify
ouaskhi
m andhel
iesthenyouwil
lknow”
Isay.
Shenodsherheadsmi
l
ing.
“Doesmybrot
herli
etoy ouseei
ngthathe’
sol
der
andmoreexper
ienced”shesays.
Herquestioncat
chesmeofguardNqubekohas
neverli
edtomeandIhaveneverputhi
minany
posit
iontodoso.
“
Yourbr
otherknowsmebet t
erthananyoneelsein
t
hiswor
ld,andIknowhi
m bett
erthananyoneelse.
Wearef
riendsfir
stmoret
hanany t
hingsoifheli
es
t
henIwil
lknow”Isay.
“
Iwi
shIcoul
dhav
etheki
ndofconnect
iony
out
wo
hav
e”shesay
s.
“
Onedayy
ouwi
l
l”Isay
.
Shenodsherheadget
ti
ngupf
ixi
ngher
sel
f.
“
Youarer
ightIshoul
dfacet
hatcheati
nghoeofa
mananddemandhet el
lsmethetr
uth”shesay
s
r
eachi
ngforherphone.
“Lookify
ouwantanswersfrom MduthenIsuggest
youplayniceget
ti
ngal
lworkedupwillnothel
pyou
becausehe’sgoi
ngtokeeplyi
ng”It
ell
her.
“YouarerightandbesidesIneedsomelovi
ngandi
f
Iactall
crazyhemi ghtjustsendmebackhome
frust
rat
ed”shesaysl aughing.
“Seeri
ghtthatl
ovingyouar
etal
kingtr
yingaski
ng
him whenhe’sbusylovi
ngyour
ight
”Isay.
“
Greatt
hinki
ng”shesay
sheadi
ngf
ort
hedoor
.
Shet
urnsbef
orewal
ki
ngoutandsmi
l
es.
“Thankyouandpl
easetel
lmybrotherIsai
dhappy
bir
thdaywil
lgi
vehi
m hispr
esentwhenIgetback”
shesayswalki
ngout.
WithPhethil
egoneIam lef
talonei
nthe
house,Nqubekohadtodrophispar
entsoffatt
he
ai
rporthisfat
herhasabusinessar
rangementand
hi
swi feisaccompanyi
nghim.
Iti
dyupinNqubeko’sbedr oom andsetupthe
perf
ecti
ndoor
’spicnic,
Itakeaqui ckshowerand
wearoneofPhethil
e’
st i
ghtshor tdr
esses.
Khet
hiwewoul
dki
l
lmei
fshesawmenow.
I
tdoesn’tt
akel
ongbef
oret
hecupcakesar
e
del
i
vered.
Iaskedf
orthem t
obewri
tt
enhappybi
rt
hdaywi
th
hi
sageinthemiddle.
Il
ookatt
hewat
chIboughtandsmil
eIusedmostof
mysavi
ngsoni
tandIhopehelov
esit.
Il
ookatt
het
imeandsi
ghheshoul
dbeher
ebynow.
Iquickl
ygetonmyfeetwhenIhearhi
scaroutsi
de,
myner vesar
eshor
twhatifhethi
nksal
lthi
sis
cheap.
Ichangesi
tt
ingposi
ti
onstr
yingt
olooksexy
,Iset
tl
e
onaposeandcatchaglimpseofmysel
finthe
mir
rorandshakemyheadpoorguymi
ghtt
hinkIam
cr
azyorhavebeenhi
tbyastr
oke.
Ideci
det
ost
andandhol
dthecupcakeswai
ti
ngf
or
hi
m.
Hetakeshi
ssweetti
mebutfi
nall
yshoutsf
or
Phet
hil
eandIannounci
nghi
spresence.
Hi
sbedroom dooropenwit
hhim payi
ngnoattent
ion
t
othefactt
hatther
e’ssomeonei
nt heinsi
de.
Het
urnsar
oundandl
ooksatmebl
ushi
ng.
“
Sur
pri
se”Isay
.
“Happybi
rt
hdayNqubeko,
22nev
erl
ookedt
hisgood”
Isay.
Hemov
escl
oserandl
ooksatt
hecupcakes.
“Thankyou”hesay
staki
ngonesmudgi
ng i
nmy
cheeks.
“
Nqubeko”Isay
.
Hetakest
heboxawayfr
om meandwrapshi
sar
ms
ar
oundmywaistpul
l
ingmecloset
ohi
m.
Hel
i
ckst
hecr
eam of
fmycheeksandmov
eshi
sli
ps
t
omymout
hgi
vi
ngmeaki
ss.
“HadIknownyouwoul
dli
ckmyf aceIwoul
dhav
e
donethi
salongti
meago”Isay
.
“
Ili
ckyourfacebecauseIl
ovey
ou”hesay
ski
ssi
ng
meagain.
“
AndIl
ovey
ouf
orl
ovi
ngme”Isay
.
“Thi
sisbeaut
if
ulBay
edengi
yabonga”hesay
s
smil
ing.
Ir
eachf
ort
hepaperbagandhandi
ttohi
m.
Hepul
l
soutt
hesmal
lbl
ackgi
ftboxst
il
lsmi
l
ing.
Il
ookathim andwonderifheknowshowmuchhe
meanstome, HowIwouldchosehim ov
erever
ythi
ng
overandoveragai
nwit
houtbli
nkingt
wice.
Hepul
l
soutt
hewat
chandsmi
l
es.
“Iknowy ouhavemanyofthesebutt
hisonei
s
diff
erentlookatt
heback”Isay
.
Hel
ooksatt
hebackoft
hewat
cht
henme.
“Wherev
eryougoyouwil
lal
wayshavemeIl
ovey
ou
doct
orPhakathway
o.Lov
eBayede”

“
Imeani
tNqubeko”Isay
.
Hegivesmeahugandhol
dsonl
ongert
hanhe
shoul
d.
“I
twon’
tbealwaysber
oseyNqubekoy
ouwi
l
lal
way
s
haveme”Isay.
Hepul
l
sawaychuckl
i
ngandki
ssesme.
“Iam notper
fecty
ouofallpeopleknowt hat
, Ihav
e
myshotcomi ngsbutwheneverIlookatyouIwant
tobeperfect
.Iwanttobethemanofy ourdreams
Bayede,amany ouwil
lbeproudofoneday .
Yeswemi ghtbeyoungbutmyheartdeepdown
knowsandIdon’twantt
hattochange”hesays
l
ookingi
ntomyey es.
“
Doct
orPhakat
hway
o”Isay
.
“
MrsPhakat
hway
o”hesay
sleani
ngf
oraki
ss.
Il
ethi
m cupmybr
eastandcl
osemyey
esast
he
ki
ssdeepens.

Ithi
nkIam getti
ngaddictedt
oNqubekobei
nginsi
de
me,Imeltunderhistouchonelookal
onemakesme
submitt
ohi severyneed.
Il
efthim homebecauseIneededtotal
ktoKhet
hiwe
pri
vatel
yandtel
lherthatnotonl
ydoIbeart
hescars
ofthedail
ybeat
ingsbutotherscar
stoo.
Iam her
efort
he3pm v
isi
tandIhopet
ofi
ndher
bet
ter.
Imakemywayi
nsideKhet
hiwe’swar
dandf
indher
bedbei
ngt
heonl
yoneempt y.
Ial
mostl
osebal
ancewhenmymi
ndst
art
sraci
ng.
Ir
unoutandbumpint
ooneoft
henur
sesandask
wher
emysisteri
s.
“Khet
hiweishernameshewasadmi
tt
edacoupl
eof
daysago”Isay.
Shegivesmeablankst
areandf
oramomentIt
hink
Imightbecr
azy
.
“
Wher
eismysi
ster
”Iask.
“Call
downyoursi
sterwasdi
schar
gedl
atel
ast
night
”shewaysmil
ing.
“Whatdoyoumeandi schar
gedIwaswit
hher
yest
erdaymorningandnoonement i
onedher
gett
ingdi
scharged”Isay.
“LikeIsai
dsisi
yoursi
sterwasdischar
gedl
atel
ast
nightandyouruncl
efet
chedher”shesays.
“
Idon’
thav
eanuncl
e”Isay
.
Sheshr
ugshershoul
der
sandgi
vesmeaf
aintsmi
l
e.
“
Sisi
Idon’
tknowwhatmoreyouwantmet
osaybut
l
i
keIsaidshe’
snother
e”shesay
s.
Ir
unl
ikeamadwomant
otheout
sideandmakemy
wayt
othet
axi
’s.
Itr
ycal
li
ngNqubekobuthi
sphonegoesto
voi
cemail
,
Isendhi
m amessageinst
eadaski
nghi
m
tomeetmeatmyf at
her
’shouse.
Thet
axi
dropsmeof
fatt
hecor
nerwi
thot
her
commut
ers.
It
akeoffmypum andr
unf
ast
ert
hanIhav
edonei
n
myenti
rel
if
e.
Bythet i
meIgettothehousemychesti sdryand
burninghot
,Iusethesmallgatetoenterandsl
owly
makemywayi nsi
dethehouse, f
orthefir
stt
imeever
there’
smusicplay
ingloudi
nt hi
shouse.
Itr
ythedoorbuti
t’
slocked,Iwal
ktothebackofthe
houseandopenthemet erboxtaki
ngoutthehi
dden
key.
If
eelnumbfrom al
lther
unningandovert
hinki
ng,I
am her
ebutatthesametimeIam notitf
eelsli
keI
am i
nadazeofsomesor t.
Ipl
acet
hekeyi
nthekey
hol
epushi
ngt
heot
herkey
.
Ibracemy selfasIunl
ockthedoorandmakemy
wayi nsi
de,themusicisl
oudernowthatIhav
e
openedt hedoor.
“
Babangi
yacel
auy
angi
l
imaza”
Il
ist
encar
eful
lyandhearKhet
hiwe’
sshakyv
oice
comeofoutourfat
hersbedr
oom.
“
Pleasest
op”shebegs.
Icanhearhercry
ingbutwhatdist
urbsmet hemost
arepl
easthatcomefrom abrokenplace.
“Didyouhonestlyt
hinkIwouldstar
v ewhil
eyoul
ay
i
nt hathospi
talbedhuh”Ihearmyf ather
disgust
ingl
ygruntorisi
tgroaninpleasure.
Themusi
cisabi
tloudbutIknowwhat
’sgoi
ngon.
Iwal
ktot
hespareroom andst
andbyt
hebedgoi
ng
downonmyknees,
Ireachfort
henewaxeandmake
mywaytohi
sbedroom.
“Iam goi ngtofet
cht hatli
ttl
esist
erofyour
sandI
willmakey ouwatchwhi l
eIhav emywaywi t
h
her,she’sgoingtopayf ortel
li
ngli
esonmef or
tarnishi
ngmynamei nfr
ontofamanl ikeSi
zwe.Iam
goingt ogivehertoMt hembuonceIam donewi th
hert hatoneneedst obebr oken”hesays.
“
She’
sjustachi
l
d”Khet
hiwesay
s.
Tear
sfi
l
lmyey eswhenshesay
sthatshedoesn’
t
knowwhatt
hismanhasdonetome.
“Ohnoshe’
snottrustmeshe’soldenoughandshe
giv
esthebestbl
owj obs”hesay
s.
Hi
sstatementt
akesmebacktoeachandev
ery
ni
ghtIhadtogoonkneesandsuckhi
mtohecame.
Myshakyhandsopenhi
sbedr
oom doorandIwi
shI
hadn’
t.
Khethi
wei
sonthebedwithherheadfaci
ngthedoor
whil
eherl
egsar
espreadwideopen.Sabel
oisonto
ofheri
nhi
svestandbri
efshangi
ngoverhisknees.
Heispumpinginandoutofhermerci
lessl
ywhi
l
e
shesi
lent
lycr
iesnotev
enfight
ingback.
“
Yey
e”shesay
swi
thherl
i
psqui
ver
ing.
Sabelopul
lsoutofherwi
thhi
shar
dmanhood
soakedinherbl
ood.
I
timmedi
atel
ylosesmoment
um andgoessof
t.
If
ail
toholdmy sel
fandbr
eakdownseei
ngmysi
ster
sobrokenal
lbecauseoft
hisman.
“Bayedei
t’
snotwhatitlooksl
i
ke”hesaystaki
nghi
s
eyesofmequickl
ywipinghimsel
fofKhethi
we’s
blood.
Ir
aiset
heaxeandswingathi
m,ahar dblowhi
tshi
m
ontheheadandanot
heroneunexpectedly
.
Hest aggersbackandlooksatmef al
l
ingtohi
s
kneesbl oodcomingoutofhisopengash.Hetr
ies
standingupbutmyangerget sthebett
erofme,
I
raisetheaxeagainandhithi
m onthehead.
“Youhurtmy
selfsi
ster
,youhur
tmysi
sterandshe
neverdi
danyt
hingtoyou”Isay.
“Bay
ede”thewor
dsleavehismouthasIrai
sethe
axeagai
nandagainhacki
nghim andbashi
nghis
headin.
“Whywouldyouhurtmysist
er”Aloudsobl
eavesmy
moutht
hinki
ngaboutthehurtandscar
sshe’
shadto
car
ryov
ertheyears.
Isi
nktothef
loorst
il
lhol
dingt
hebl
oodyaxei
nmy
hands.
“Bayede”It
urnmyheadandf
indNqubekost
andi
ng
bythedoorlooki
ngatmeasi
fIam amonster
.

.
..
..
..
.
Bay
ede’
skeeper

#8

Nqubeko

Islowlywalkbackt
omycarandgetmymother
sleepi
ngpill
s,
sheusual
l
yfi
ndsi
thardt
osl
eephence
theprescr
ipti
on.
Il
ooktotheskyandclenchmyj awsforthelongest
ti
memymot hertol
dmet hatexi
stedbuttodayIam
fi
ndi
ngithar
dtobeli
eve.
Iwalkbacktothehouseandlockthedoorbehi
nd
meheadi ngtoSabel
o’sbedr
oom,Khet
hiweisnow
decentenoughandjustl
ikemesheisstari
ngata
bl
oodiedBayede.
Shelooksli
keamonsterherf
ace,
cl
othesandhands
arecover
edinbl
ood.
Thescenei
sgr
uesomei
tlookssl
oppyy
etpr
eci
se
l
i
ket
hatofamur
deronaki
l
li
ngspr
ee.
Hisheadi
sbarel
yrecogni
zabl
ehi
sbr
ainsar
eooz
ing
outhi
shead.
“Yeye”shelooksatmeandt
ear
sst
il
lfal
lfr
om her
beauti
fulf
ace.
Shel
ooksatherhandst
henme.
“
Whathappened”Iaskl
ooki
ngatKhet
hiwe.
“Shewalkedi
nonourfatherrapi
ngmeandshe
att
ackedhim wi
tht
hataxe”Khethi
wesay
s.
“Nqubekoi
twasanhonestmi
stake,
shewasn’
t
supposedt
oseethat
”shesay
swi pi
nghert
ears.
Inodmyheadst
il
ll
ooki
ngatBay
ede?
“Howlonghast
hismanbeensl
eepi
ngwi
thy
ou”I
ask.
Ifi
ndmy sel
flookingatherwai
ti
ngf
oranansweral
l
thoughIcantell
it’
sbeengoingonf
orl
ong.
“
Sinceourmot
herdi
ed”shesay
sinal
owt
one.
“
Sohemov
edonf
rom Bay
edet
oyou”Isay
.
Shequi
ckl
ylooki
ntomyey
escl
ear
lyshocked.
“
Whatdoy oumeanhemov
edonf
rom Bay
edet
o
me”sheasks.
“
Heusedt
ogoi
ntoherr
oom andmol
esther
”Isay
.
Tear
sfi
l
lherey
es.
“
Idi
dn’
tknow”shesay
slooki
ngatBay
ede.
“
Stop”Isay
,whenshet
ri
esgoi
ngdownt
oherknees
t
oholdBayede.
“Youcan’
ttouchhernotunt
il
lshe’
stakenabat
h”I
say.
Shegi
vesmeaconf
usedl
ook.
“
Iwi
l
lhel
pher
”Isay
.
Icaref
ull
ymovetheaxefrom hergri
pandli
ftherup
taki
nghertot
hebathroom.Ihel
pheroutofher
clot
hesandwipemytearsthisistoomuchtotakei
n.
Ipl
acet
heclothesi
nabl
ackpl
ast
icbagandputher
i
ntheshower.
“
Khet
hiwe”Ical
lout
.
Shel
i
mpsherwayi
nandl
ooksatme.
“Makesur
eyouscrubev
eryt
hingt
hatsaysSabel
oon
her
”shenodsherheadl
ooki
ngpetri
fi
ed.
Iwal
ktot
hebedroom andl
eanagai
nstt
hedoor
l
ooki
ngatSabel
o.
Hedeser
vedt
odi
ebutnotatBay
ede’
shands.
I
ttakesawhi
lebutt
heybothcomebackwi
th
Bayedewr
appedinatowel
.
“
Putheri
nsomet
hingcl
eanpl
ease”Isay
.
“
Nqubekowhatar
ewegoi
ngt
odo”sheasks.
Il
ookatBay
edeandgulpdownlumpsofai
r,
thi
sone
i
sdif
fi
cul
tevenIdon’
tknowwhattodo.
Shelookssooutofi
tsomuchsoshehasn’
tsai
da
wordnorhasshebli
nked.
Il
ookatt
hesl
eepi
ngt
abl
etsandsi
gh.
“Idon’
tknowy etbutcanyougiv
emegiveyour
all
egexplease”shenodsherheadmaki
ngherway
toherbedroom.
Iwal
ktot
heki
tchenandgr
abagl
assandpour
Bay
edesomej
uice.
Khet
hiwewal
ksi
nandl
ooksatme.
“Weneedt ocallt
hepoli
cesur
elyt
heywil
l
under
stand,she’
sachil
d”Khet
hiwesay
s.
“That
’snothowthelawwor
ksKhet
hiwe,
Bay
edei
s
18andshewi l
lbetr
iedl
i
keanadul
t.
Yourfatheri
sar eti
redcophi
sfri
endswon’tl
ett
his
go,
theywi l
lmakeanexampl eofBayedeand
whateverevidenceyouguysguyshavewil
lbe
buri
ed”Isay.
Beforetheirmot her’
sdeathSabelowasan
upstandingpolicemanpeopl elovedandr espect
ed
hi
m.Wheni twasf oundoutBayede’smot herki
ll
ed
hersel
fusingherhusband’ sservi
cepi st
oltheman
wasdi smissedatwor kandhelat
err esi
gned.
Apartofmest i
l
lbel
ievesthatheki
l
ledhiswif
eand
madeitlookl
ikesui
cidehencethepol
icefor
cehad
t
olethim go.
“
Buthewasrappi
ngmeBay
edewasonl
ypr
otect
ing
me”shesay
s.
“
WhenBay
edewal
keddi
dhest
op”Iask.
Shel
ookatmeandnodsherhead.
“Seeyouwerenolongerindanger,
shecouldhave
ranoutandaskedforhelporevencal
lthoseusel
ess
poli
ceormebutshedi dn’
t”Isay.
“
Nqubeko”shesay
s.
“
That
’swhatt
hepr
osecut
orwi
l
lthi
nkandask”Isay
.
“
Whatnow”sheasks.
“
Giv
emet
hose”
Isaypoi
nti
ngatheral
l
egex.
Icr
ushthesl
eepi
ngtabl
etsaswellast
heal
l
egex
andpourt
hepowderint
hejuiceandst
ir
.
“
Makesur
eshedr
inksal
lofi
t”
Isay
.
“
Nqubekowhyar
ewedr
uggi
ngher
”sheasks.
“
Leav
eitIwi
l
ldoi
tmy
sel
f”Isay
.
Iwal
kt oBayede’
sbedr
oom andf
indhersi
tt
ingon
thef
loorshaki
ng.
“
Hey
,dr
inkt
hisi
twi
l
lcal
myoudown”Isay
.
Shehol
dst
hegl
asswi
thmyhel
pandgul
psdown
ev
ery
thi
ng.
“
Iki
l
ledhi
m”shesay
ssnappi
ngoutofhert
rance.
Shel
ooksatmeandshakesherheadpani
cki
ng.
“Iki
l
ledhi
m Nqubeko,
Iki
l
ledmyf
ather
”shesay
s
gett
inghy
ster
ical
.
Sheget
sonherf
eetandr
unsout
.
Ir
unaf
terherandshoutt
oKhet
hiwe.
“Lockthedoor
”khet
hiwemov
est
othedoorand
blocksit
.
“Iam sor
ryIdi
dn’tmeantoki
l
l hi
m”Bay
edesay
s
comingfacetofacewit
hKhethiwe.
“Ineedt
ocallthepol
i
ceIneedt
otel
lthem Idi
dit
”
shesayslooki
ngatme.
“
Khet
hiwel
ockt
hatdoor
”Isay
.
Shelooksatmeandhur
ri
edl
ylockst
hedoorhol
ding
thekeyinherhand.
Bayedel
ooksatmewi
thasof
tgazeandwi
pesher
tear
s.
“
Iam sor
ryIdi
dn’
tmeant
oki
l
lhi
m”shesay
s.
“
Weknowyoudidn’
twhi
chi
swhycan’
tlety
ougo
t
hepol
i
ce”Isay
.
Shel
ooksatmet henKhethi
weherey esgrowwide,
sher
unsforthekeybutIgettoherandlockheri
n
myarmstight
lywrappi
ngaroundher.
“
Khet
hiwewet
alkedaboutt
hisgetar
ope”Ishout
.
Khet
hiwescur
ri
esontot
hespar
ebedr
oom and
comesbackwithar
ope.
“
Nqubekowhatar
eyoudoi
ng”Bay
edeasks.
“Tr
yingt
osaveyouf
rom maki
ngt
hebi
ggestmi
stake
ofyourl
i
fe”Isay
.
“
No”
shesay
str
yingt
ofi
ghtmebutIhol
dhert
ight
.
“
Tieherl
egs”Isay
.
“
Nqubekoy
ouar
ehur
ti
ngme”shesay
s.
Ibl
ockheroutandl
ookatKhet
hiwe.
“
Khet
hiwet
ieherf
eett
oget
her
”Ishout
.
“
Iam sor
rysi
si”Khet
hiwesay
slooki
ngatBay
ede.
Bay
edemel
tsi
nmyar
msandl
etsKhat
hiwebe.
Imov
ehert
oachai
randt
ieherup.
“Nqubekopl
easedon’
tdot
his”shesay
sti
l
tingher
head.
Imov ecl
oserandgetonmykneesandwi
peher
tear
s.
“Ngi
yakucel
aPhakat
hway
odon’
tdot
hispl
ease”she
begs.
“
Ify
ougot opr
isonIwi
l
lnotsur
viv
eBay
ede,
i
twi
l
lki
l
l
me”Isay
.
Herl
i
pst
rembl
easherchestgoesupanddown.
Ihat
eseei
ngherl
i
ket
hishel
plessandi
npai
n.
“Iwantyoutoknowt hatIl
ov ey
ousomuchmor e
thananythi
nginthi
swor l
d,Iam doi
ngt
hisbecauseI
l
ov eyouBayede”sheshakesherheadandbreaks
down.
“
NoIdon’twantyoutodothi
sforme,angi
funi
Nqubekoangi
funi
”shesay
srunningoutofbreat
he.
Iwi
pehert
ear
sandsmi
l
e
“I
fyout urnyoursel
fintheywil
lburyyousthandwa
sam thatplacewi l
lchangeyou,
itwil
lbreakyouandI
won’tallowthattohappensopl easeletmedothis
foryou”Isay.
“Pl
easedon’
tbreakmyhear
tNqubekopleaseIam
beggi
ngyou”shesaysbr
eat
hingheav
il
y.
Ihol
dmyt
ear
sandl
ookatKhet
hiwenoddi
ngmy
head.
“Yey
ey oudi
dn’
tki
l
lbabaNqubekodi
d”shesay
s
swall
owing.
“
Whyar
eyoul
yi
ng”Bay
edeasksl
ooki
ngatus.
“
Iam t
heonewhoaxedhi
mtodeat
hhewasr
api
ng
y
ou”shesay
s.
Khet
hiweshakesherhead.
“Yeyethat’
snottrueNqubekoisonewhokill
edbaba
youdidnot hi
ng,
youarejustt
ir
edandsayi
ngt hi
ngs
thatdon’tmakesense”Khethi
wesaysfor
cinga
smile.
Bay
edel
ooksatmeatherey
esi
nvol
unt
ari
l
ycl
osi
ng.
“
Nqubekopl
easedon’
tdot
hisIwi
l
lnev
erf
orgi
ve
my
sel
fify
oudo”shesay
scl
osi
ngherey
es.
Icheckherpul
seandclenchmyj
awsshe’ssti
ll
ali
ve
butherhear
tbeati
sfai
ntduetot
hemedicat
ion.
Iunt
ieherandl
i
ftherupheadi
ngt
owar
dst
hedoor
.
Khet
hiweopenst
hedoorandl
ocksbehi
ndme.
Igeti
nsi
det
hecaranddriv
ehome,Igettt
hehouse
i
t’
semptyPhet
hil
eisnotbacky
et.
Ipl
aceheri
nsi
demybedr
oom andgeti
nnextt
oher
.
Ihol
dhercl
oseandsi
lent
lycr
yknowi
ngt
hismi
ght
bethel
astt
imeIgett
oholdheri
nmyarms.
“Ihopeyouforgi
vemeoneday,
Ilov
ey ougoodby
e”I
kissherf
oreheadanddeepl
ysi
ghwalkingout
.

Idri
vebacktoherhouseandf
indKhet
hiwest
ari
ng
herfat
her.
Igrabtheplasti
cbagwi thBey ede’
sclot
hesand
headoutsi
det obur nt
hem, Iwaitti
l
lthefi
redi
es
downandt heclothesareashes.Igr abashoveand
pickupwhat ’
sleftofevery
t hi
ngandpouritdownthe
dr
ain.
Iwal
kbackinsidethehouseandgr
abt
heaxe
cl
eani
ngitoffBayedepri
nts.
“
StepawayKhet
hiwe”Isay
.
Shemov
esawayst
il
ll
ooki
ngatme.
Irai
semyhandandaxeSabel
oal
lov
er,
hisbl
ood
spatt
eri
ngal
lov
erme.
“
Cal
lthepol
i
ce”Isay
.
Shenodsherheadr
eachi
ngf
orherphonecal
l
ingt
he
pol
ice.
Il
ookatSabelo’
sbodyandmakepeacewi
thmy
chosenf
ate.
Imakepeacewi
ththefactthatBay
edewi
llwakeup
tonewsofmebeingchargedwithmur
der
.

.
..
..
..
Bay
ede’
skeeper

#9

Icanhearpeopletal
ki
ngbutfrom adi
stancemy
eyesar
eheav yIcanbarel
ykeepthem open.
“
Yey
e”mysi
ster
’sv
oicepul
l
smebackt
owar
dsher
.
“
Openy
ourey
es”shesay
s.
If
ightt
heedget
osl
eepandsl
owl
yopenmyey
es.
“
That
’si
tkeepy
ourey
esopen”shesay
s.
“
Iam t
ir
ed”Isay
.
Mywhol
ebodyi
sti
redmyar
msf
eel
sor
eev
eryj
oint
i
nmewantstor
est
.
Il
ookar
oundandnot
iceIam i
nNqubeko’
sbedr
oom.
Ishutmyeyesandopenthem agai
nthel
astt
hingI
rememberwasbri
ngtiedtoachair
.
“
Nqubeko”Isay
.
“
He’
snotnother
ehewast
akendownt
othepol
i
ce
st
ati
on”Khet
hiwesay
s.
“No.
.noIneedtost
ophim”Isayt
ryi
ngt
ogetof
fbut
Khet
hiweholdsmedown.
“
Ma”Khet
hiwecal
l
s.
ThedooropensandNqubeko’
smot
herwal
ksi
n.
“
Ijustt
oldherNqubekowasar
rest
ed”shesay
s.
“
MaIneedt
ost
ophi
m”Isay
.
Shemov
escl
oserandnodsherhead.
“
Weknowsi si
butyouarenotintheri
ghtst
ateof
mindt
oleavethehouse,
youhavebeenrumbli
ngand
mumbli
nginyoursl
eep”shesays.
“Nqubekodidn’
tkil
lmyf at
herIkil
ledhi
m because.
..
”
Irunoutofwordstosayasmybr ainst
ruggl
esto
recol
l
ecteveryt
hingthathappened.
Ever
ythingi
shazy,
bit
esandpi
eceskeepf
lashi
ngbut
noti
nt heri
ghtor
der.
“She’
shav
inganot
heroneofherepi
sodes”khet
hiwe
says.
“
Thi
smustbehar
dIdi
dn’
tknowshewassi
ckwhen
Sabel
otol
dusthatsheget
sli
kethi
swedi
dn’
t
bel
iev
ehim”Nqubeko’
smothersay
s.
Il
ookatmysi
stert
ear
sfi
l
li
ngmyey
es.
“
Whyar
eyoudoingthi
sKhet
hiwewhywoul
dli
eon
mel
i
kethi
s”Iask.
“Noonei
slyingsi
siappar
entl
yyouhadanast
yfal
l
andhi
tyourhead”Nquboko’
ssays.
“Matheyar el
yingIdi
dn’
tfal
lIam notcr
azyor
whatevertheytol
dyouokay,
Ikil
l
edmyf atherwit
han
axeandhecal l
edoutmynamebef or
ehet ookhi
s
l
astbreathe”Isay.
Shenodsherheadbutthel
ookshe’
sgi
vi
ngmetel
l
meshe’sdoesn’
tbel
iev
eawordIam say
ing.
Isounddel
usi
onal
crazyev
enbutIam t
ell
i
ngt
he
tr
uth.
“IhearyousisibutNqubekoconfessedto
everyt
hing,
hewal kedi
nony ourfat
herrapi
ngy
our
sist
erandkill
edhi m”shesays.
“Weneedy out
ogetsomer
estokayher
edr
inkt
his”
shesays.
IlookatKhet
hiweaseventoft
hedaydaypi
ece
themselv
estoget
her.
“
Youdr
uggedme”Isay
.
“Yeyenoonedr uggedyou,
youdidn’tki
ll
baba
becauseIwast heonewhocameher etotel
lyou
aboutitlastni
ghtbefor
eheadingtothepoli
ce
stat
ionandy oucoll
apsedaft
erhearingthenews”
shesay s.
“
Pleasedri
nkt
hisi
twi
l
lcal
myoudown”Nqubeko’
s
mothersay
s.
Shehandsmeapi
l
landsmi
l
es.
Itakethepi
llandt
howi
nmymout
hgul
pingdown
theglassofwater
.
Shewal
ksoutandl
eav
esmewi
thKhet
hiwe.
“
Whyar
eyout
ell
i
ngpeopl
ethatIam cr
azy
”Iask.
Shebr
eat
hesi
nandoutheav
il
y.
“Foryourowngood,
Nqubekosai
dwithy
oul
i
ket
his
nothi
ngy ousaywi
ll
hol
dtoanyone.
Ij
ustneedt
okeepy
oul
uci
denought
obeawar
eof
what
’shappeni
ng”shesay
s.
“Il
ov eyouBayedeandIam goi ngalongwiththi
s
becauseIlovey ousomuch,ienduredsomuchf r
om
thatmant okeepy ousafebutIwast oolat
e
becausehehadal r
eadydonethedamaget oy ou.I
am sorrythatIcouldn’
tpr
otectyoubutnowIam and
Iam sorryfordoingthi
stoyou”shesay skissi
ngmy
forehead.
“
Getsomesl
eep”shesay
s.
Icl
osemyey
esanddr
if
tawayt
osl
eep.

Iwakeupandstr
etchmysel
fmybodysti
llhur
ts,
I
l
ookaroundandIam st
il
li
nNqubeko’
sbedroom.
Igetof
fthebedandwal
ktowar
dst
hedooropeni
ng
i
t.
Mylegsf
eel
wobbl
yIfeeldr
ainedandgoodatt
he
sameti
memyheadisthecl
ouds.
Islowlymakemywayt
otheki
tchenwal
ki
ngpast
everyone.
“
It
’sokayI
’
vegott
his”Khet
hiwesay
s.
Shehol
dsmeandhel
psmedownachai
r.
“Don’
ttouchme”Isay
,butshehol
dsmest
il
land
huff
s.
“
Letmegety
ouagl
assofwat
er”shesay
s.
“
NoIdon’
twantany
thi
ngpl
ease”Isay
.
“Idon’
twantt
osl
eepany
mor
e”Isayshaki
ngmy
head.
Inev
erknewtherewoul
dbeadayIwoul
dbeaf
rai
d
ofmysist
erdruggi
ngme.
“
It
’sj
ustwat
erYey
eIwon’
tpoi
sony
ou”shesay
s.
“Youlethi
m got
opr
isonwheny
ouknowt
het
rut
h”I
say.
“Iam goi
ngoutt
hereandIam goi
ngtel
lthepol
i
ce
thetr
uth,
Iwon’
tletNqubekopayf
orsomethi
nghe
didn’
tdo.
Il
ovehim andIdon’
twanthi
sfut
uret
ober
uined
becauseofme”Isay.
“
It
’sst
art
ingagai
n”Khet
hiwesay
s.
It
urnandf
indNqubeko’
spar
ent
sst
andi
ngbehi
ndus.
“Weknowy oul ov
eNqubekoandy ouwanttoprotect
hi
m butthisi smurderwearetal
kingabout,
evenI
can’tmaket hisgoaway”hi
sfathersayssoundi
ng
pained.
Theylookatmeli
keIam crazy,
Inodmyheadand
breat
handinandoutclear
lynothi
ngIsaywi
l
l
convi
ncethem ot
her
wise.
Theyalr
eadythi
nkIam cr
azythatIam sayi
ngal
lthi
s
becauseIam wantt
akethefal
lforNqubekowhi
ch
i
snott r
ue.
“
OkaycanIatl
eastseehi
m”Iask.
“
Hedoesn’
twantt
oseey
ou”Hi
smot
hersay
ssof
tl
y.
Il
ookaroundandr
eachf
ort
hekni
fepl
aci
ngi
tov
er
mywrist
.
Iam st
il
ldazedf
rom t
hemedi
cat
ionbutIhol
dthe
kni
festeady.
“Youmi
ghtnotbeabl
etomaket
hisgoawaybuty
ou
canhav
ehim seeme”Isay
.
Phet
hil
ewal
ksi
nandgaspsl
ooki
ngatme.
“
Yey
eputt
hekni
fedown”shesay
s.
“Ij
ustwanttoseehimt
hat’sal
lIam aski
ngf
or,
Iwi
l
l
sli
tmywristi
fyoudon’
ttakemet ohi
m”Isay
l
ookingatmysister
.
Tear
sfi
l
lherey
es.
“
Fine”Khet
hiwesay
s.
“
Dropt
hekni
fe”shesay
s.
Ishakemyheadandpr
essi
tdownmywr
istmaki
ng
asmalli
nci
sion.
“
Iwi
l
lgett
hecar
”Nqubeko’
sfat
hersay
s.
Iam dr
essedi
nsweat
pant
sandat
-shi
rt
.
“
Iam sor
ry”
Khet
hiwesay
sst
il
ll
ooki
ngatme.
Shesaysshe’
ssor
rybutthelookofshockandpi
tyi
n
thei
rey
esiswhatr
egist
ersinmyhead.
Imovet
heknif
eandonlyreal
i
zet
hent
hatmay
be
j
ustmaybeIam unst
abl
e.

Thedriv
et ot
hepol
i
cest at
ionisshortandqui
etIam
ri
ddledbysomanythoughts.Thecarcomestoa
standsti
ll
andweallgetoutIfol
l
owhi spar
entswit
h
Khet
hiwedr
aggi
ngherf
eetbehi
ndus.
Idon’tknowhowt
ofeelaboutmysi
sterandher
goingtosomanyl
engthstokeepmequiet.
Nqubeko’
smotherhol
dsmecl
oseaspol
i
ceof
fi
cer
Mthembuappr
oachesus.
“
Phakat
hway
o”hesay
stoNqubeko’
sfat
her
.
Imightbehal
foutofi
tbutt
her
e’ssomeani
mosi
ty
bet
weent het
woman.
“
Ical
ledthest
ati
onbef
orecominghereandIwas
t
oldIcoul
dseemyson”Nqubeko’sf
athersay
s.
“
What
’swr
ongwi
thher
”heasksl
ooki
ngatme.
“Shehasn’
tbeenfinesi
nceshelear
nedthenewsof
herfat
her’
sdeath”MrPhakathwayosay
s.
Mthembunodshi
sheadandt
akesust
hrought
osee
Nqubeko.
Iam l
eti
nashi
spar
ent
swai
tout
side.
Her
aiseshi
sheadandl
ooksatmest
andi
ngup.
Idon’
tmeantocr
ybutmyt
ear
sdr
opf
ast
ert
han
l
ight
ening.
“
Pleasedon’
tcr
y”hesay
staki
nghi
sseat
.
“
Thendon’
tdot
hist
oyour
sel
f”Ibeg.
“
Ihav
etoBay
ede,
topr
otecty
ou”hesay
scal
mly
.
Ihat
ehowcal
lhei
showwi
l
li
nghehi
s.
“Idon’
twanty outopr
otectmeNqubekoIwantyou
tofini
shschool,t
oatt
ainyourdr
eam ofbei
ngagood
doctor”Isay
.
“
Youdon’
tgetitBay edei fy
ougot opri
sonf orkil
l
ing
t
hismanyouwillnev ertast
efreedom everagain,
and
i
fyoudoyouwon’ tbet hesameev eragain.SoI
woul
drat
herbetheonebehi ndbarsIdon’twantt o
wakeupever
ydayknowi ngthatyouareinjail
.
Idon’twanttomov eonwithmyl i
feknowingyou
aren’
tnexttomei twoul
dkillmesthandwasam.I
am notstrongenought owakeupev er
ydayandgo
onaboutmyl i
fe,
Iam notstrongenoughtolove
anotherwomanl ikeIloveyouIam justnotst
rong
enoughBay ede”hesay shavinghi
sjawsclenched.
“Andhavi
ngyourl
i
feonst
andsti
l
lisokay
,soyouar
e
str
ongenoughtol
etl
if
epassyoubybutnotstr
ong
enoughtocarryonandbewhaty
oupr
omi
sed
yoursel
ftobe”Iask.
Hesmi
l
esandl
ooksatme.
“Iam str
ongenoughtofacej
ail
timeandmakeitout
ali
ve,
butIam notst
rongenoughtol
ivewi
thouty
ou”
hesay s.
“
Youwon’tsurv
ivepr
isonBay
edet
rustmey
ou
won’
t”hesays.
“
Yourf
athercangety
ouagoodl
awy
er”Isay
.
“Icantel
lthem Iki
l
ledhi
m pr
otect
ingKhet
hiwethat
heusedtomol estme,t
hatmysist
erwascarry
inghi
s
bastar
dchi l
d”Isay.
“Andthepr ospectorwi l
lsayther
e’sisn’
tsuffici
ent
proof,
Khethiwelostt hechi l
dandt here’
sisn’tproof
thathewast hef ather .Yousayyouwer epr otecti
ng
Khethi
webuty ouwal kedinthathouseandhear d
whatwashappeni ngandf etchedanaxe.You
walkedintoy ourfather ’
sbedroom foundhi m ontop
ofKhethiwehest oppedandhesawy ouinsteadof
yourunningandcal l
ingf orhelpyouaxedhi mt o
death.
Yourepeat
edl
yaxedyourownfat
hert
odeath
wit
houtanmercyyoucol
dbloodi
l
ykil
l
edyourfat
her
”
hesays.
“Becausehewasabadmanhewashur ti
ngmy
sist
er,
hedeservedtodieandpayf
orwhathedi
dto
meandmysi st
er”Isnap.
“
Rightther
ewil
lbethedamningst
atementthat
t
akesy oudownyouwon’tev
erseethel
ight
”hesay
s
l
ookingatme.
“Youcan’tfi
ghtt
hisBayedeIam doi
ngthi
sandyou
can’tst
opit,
Iam sor
ryt
hatIhadtodrugyoubut
trustmeitsfory
ourgood”hesays.
“Idon’
twanty outowaitforme,Iwantyoutoliv
e
yourli
feandf or
getthatt
hiseverhappened.Forget
youev err
aisedthataxeandkil
ledhim er
asethose
horri
blememor i
esf r
om yourhead”hesays.
Il
ookathi
m st
andupandmov
etowher
eIam.
Hegoesdownonhi
skneeandwi
pesmyt
ear
s.
“
Don’
tyoueverf
orgett
hatthi
smanlovesyoumore
t
hananyt
hingi
nthisworl
d”hesay
ski
ssingmyli
ps.
Hewal
kst
owar
dst
hedoorandknocks.
Thedooropensandapol
i
ceof
fi
cerwal
ksi
nand
takeshi
m away.
Myl
ipsqui
verasIshutmyey
esl
oosi
nghi
m hur
ts
mor
ethananythi
ng.

.
..
..
..
..
Bay
ede’
sKeeper

#10

Khethi
wetookmehomef r
om thePhakat
hwayo’
s,
thewholehouseoff
ull
ofr
elat
ivesf
rom myfat
her’
s
side.
Wedon’ tknowhalfofthesepeopl
ewelastsaw
them onmymot hersfuneral
sincet
henwenever
sawthem again.
Myf at
herwoul
dleav
eandv i
sithi
sfamil
ywit
houtus
notthatwemindedt
hesepeoplearej
ustasevi
las
thei
rsonwas.
Myaunthasbeenmaki
ngnoi
seal
lmor
ning.
“Bay
edeistheQueenoft
hishouseshejustsi
tsand
doesnot
hing”shesay
sshouti
ngfrom t
hetopofher
l
ungs.
“AuntyBayedei
snotokayt
hisi
shar
donher
”
Khethiwesays.
“I
tsnotli
keyoutwolovedmybr ot
hersowhyisi
t
hardforherhuhori
sbecausethatboyisgoi
ngt
o
j
ailfort
herestofhi
sli
fe”sheasks.
“Iknowtheyweredat
ingandIwil
lmakesurehe
paysforwhathedidt
omybr ot
her”shesay
ssti
ll
shouti
ng.
She’
saheavydr
inkerl
i
keherbr
otherandhermout
h
spi
tsvenom.
ThedooropensandKhet
hiwewal
ksi
n,
sheset
tl
es
onthebedandsighs.
“
Youneedt
oeatsomet
hing”shesay
s.
Il
ookatherandwonderwhatshe’
sthi
nki
ngof
f.
“
Iam sor
ryYey
eIr
eal
l
yam”shesay
s.
Inodmyheadanddeepl
ysi
gh.
“
Het
hinksIam st
rongbutIam not
”Isay
.
Sheshakesherheadandpl
acest
het
rayasi
de
movi
ngcloser.
“
CanI
”sheasks.
Inodmyheadandl
etherhol
dmet
ight
.
“
Youar
est
rongert
hany
ouknow”shesay
s.
“Thenwhyam Ifeel
ingthi
sway ,
Ifeel
emptyIf
eel
thi
shugeguil
tovermyheadf orall
owingani
nnocent
persont
otakethefallf
orwhatIdid”Isay
.
“
Shh”shesay
slooki
ngatt
hedoor
.
“Iknowitseemshar
drightnowbutt r
ustmei twil
l
getbett
erwitht
ime,
onedayy ouwon’tfeell
i
ket hi
s
becauseti
mehealseveryt
hing”shesays.
“
Iam sor
ryt
hathehur
tyou”Isay
.
“Iam sorrytoot hatIcouldn’
tpr
otecty ouhard
enough,Iam sor rythatyouarecarr
y i
ngallthisheavy
burdenony ourshoulder.Youshouldbel ooking
forwardtoget ti
ngy ourresul
tstogoingoutt herein
therealwor l
dt obeingexposedt onewandexci ti
ng
opportuni
tiesandmeetknewpeopl e”shesay s
l
ookingalive.
Hereyesspar
klewhenshespeaksaboutmegoi
ng
outt
here.
Shenev
ergottogotoschool
ourf
atherr
efusedt
o
payf
orhert
uit
ion.
NowIknowwhyheneverwantedtoherl
eavehi
s
si
ghtshehadt
urnedmysi
steri
ntohi
swife.
“
Ilov
eyouandIam sorr
yforact
ingout
,Idi
dn’
tmean
i
twhenIsai
dIhat
ey ou”Isay
.
Shesmi
l
esandbl
i
nkshert
ear
saway
.
“Thatmakesmefeelsomuchbet
terknowi
ngy
ou
don’that
eme”shesaysgi
vi
ngmeahug.
“
Howi
sthef
uner
alpr
epar
ati
onsgoi
ng”Iask.
“Ever
ythi
ngisgoi
ngwel
l
”shesay
sshr
uggi
ngher
shoul
ders.
“
Ihat
eauntMar
tha”Isay
.
Shel
aughsandi
tfeel
sgoodhear
ingherl
augh.
“Ihat
ehertoobutweneedhert
obur
yherbr
other
”
shesays.
“
Isshegoi
ngt
oleav
eaf
tert
hef
uner
al”Iask.
Shedeepl
ysi
ghsandshr
ugshershoul
der
syetagai
n.
“
Idon’
tknow”shesay
s.
“
Wear
egoi
ngt
obeokay
”shesay
s.
Inodmyheadwi
thmysi
sterbymysi
deIknowIwi
l
l
beokay
.
“
Wantmet
osi
ngf
ory
ou”sheasks.
“
Yespl
ease”Isay
.
Shest
art
ssi
ngi
ngandr
ocki
ngmebackandf
ort
h.

IwakeuptoKhethi
wenotnexttomeandmakemy
waygothekit
chen,
thehouseisful
lofst
ranger
sand
Iwi
shallt
hiscoul
dbeov eranddonewit
h.
There’
saresomanyreasonsIhaven’
tlef
tmyroom
part
lybecauseev
ery
thi
ngthathappenedkeeps
pl
ayingit
selfi
nmyhead.
Mycousi
nwal
ksi
nandcl
aspherhandsl
aughi
ng.
“
Mamai v
ukil
einkosazanaboh”shesay
sscr
eami
ng
f
rom t
hetopofherlungs.
Myauntwal
ksi
njoi
ningusandl
ooksatmef
rom
headt
otoe.
“Tel
lmeBay ededi
dy ouandt
hatboypl
ant
oki
l
lmy
brot
herhuh”sheasks.
“I
twasn’
tenoughthatmybrotherf
edandclot
hed
youbutst
il
lyouhadhim ki
l
ledsopainf
ull
y,
why?”She
asks.
IholdmytongueNqubekowar
nedmeaboutmy
tongue.
“
Didhebeghi
mtostophuh?wherewereyouwhen
y
ourboyf
ri
endki
l
ledmybrot
her”sheasks.
“
That
’senough”Khet
hiwesay
swal
ki
ngi
n
“
Iwasj
ustaboutt
ocal
lyou”Aunt
yMar
thasay
s.
“
HowcanIhel
pyou”Khet
hiweasks.
“Ineedall
mybr ot
her’spol
i
ciesdet
ail
sand
i
nsurancescheme, weneedtostar
tclai
mingand
payforthefuner
al”shesays.
“
Ever
ythi
ngi
sint
hesaf
e”Khet
hiwesay
s.
“Maweshoul dgothroughal
lhi
spoli
ciesandsubmi
t
thedeathcer
tif
icat
eandstar
tthecl
aim pr
ocess”
Vumilesays.
“
Iwi
llf
etchthedeathcert
if
icat
etomorrowi
t’
swit
h
t
heundert
akers”Khet
hiwesayslooki
ngatme.
“Okay
”AuntyMar
thasay
saski
ngnof
urt
her
quest
ions.
Aknockcomest
hroughandPhet
hil
ewal
ksi
n.
Shegr
eet
sandonl
yKhet
hiweandIgr
eetback.
“
Mxm”Myauntsay
swal
ki
ngaway
.
Vumi
l
efol
l
owsbehi
ndhermot
her
.
“
Don’
tmi
ndt
hem”Khet
hiwesay
s.
Phet
hil
elooksatmeandsi
ghs.
“
Howar
ehol
dingup”sheasksl
ooki
ngatme.
“
Iam okayhowar
eyouhol
dingup”Iask.
Sheshr
ugshershoul
der
s.
“I
tfeel
slikeadream Bay
edeli
keallt
hisi
sjustabad
dream andIwil
lwakeupf r
om i
t”shesay
s.
“
Iwi
l
lmakeussomet
hingt
oeat
”Khet
hiwesay
s.
Phet
hil
eandImakeourwayt
omybedr
oom.
Ican’
tevenl
ookherintheey
ei t
’st
hathowhar
d
havi
ngtokeepthi
sinsi
demei s.
“
Mypar
ent
sar
etr
yingbutt
hisi
shar
dont
hem,
we
nev
erthoughtNqubekowoul
deverkil
lany
onei
nhi
s
ent
ir
eli
fe”Shesaysshaki
ngherhead.
She’
sfrust
ratedandgoi
ngoutofhermi
n
under
standablyso.
“
Howcanhebesor eckl
essBayede,
howcanhe
t
hrowhiswholefutureawayli
kethatandnotev
en
t
hinkaboutus”sheasks.
“Howcanhel
eav
eyoubehi
nd”sheasksr
ubbi
ngher
eyes.
“WehadplansBayedehugepl
ansandnow
every
thi
ngisgone,
nothi
ngwil
lev
erbethesame”she
says.
Iofal
lpeopl
eknowt
hatnot
hingwi
l
lev
erbet
he
same.
“
Iknowt
rustmeIknow”Isay
.
“Iam sor
ryIshoul
dn’tbegoi
ngoffaty
oul
i
ket his
butIam angryathi
m atthesameti
meIam hurtthat
he’sgone”shesays.
“
ImissmybrotherYeyeIreal
l
ymisshi
m andBaba
t
ri
edever
ythi
ngbuty ouknowhowthel
awwor ks”
shesay
sti
l
tingherhead.
Tearsf
il
lmyeyesIam t
heonewhosesupposedt
o
bether
eawai
ti
ngtri
ali
nsteadofNqubeko.
Ipul
lheri
ntoahugandhol
dmysel
f.
ThedooropensandKhet
hiwewal
ksi
nwi
thar
rayof
sconesandcof
fee.
“
Thanky
ou”Phet
hil
esay
s.
Myphoner
ingsandanunknownnumberappear
s.
Ipi
cki
tupandexcusemy
sel
fwal
ki
ngout
.
“
Hel
l
o”Isay
.
“
Sthandwasam”Nqubeko’
svoi
cecomest
hrough.
Ihol
dmychestandbi
temyl
i
p.
“
Nqubeko”myv
oicecomesoutsof
t.
“
Imi
ssy
ousomuch”hesay
s.
Ishutmyey
esandcl
earmyt
hroat
.
“
Imi
ssy
out
oost
handwasam somuch”Isay
.
“
Ijustwant
edt
oheary
ourv
oice”hesay
s.
“
NqubekoIam notst
rong”It
ell
him.
Hegoesqui
etf
orawhi
l
eandsi
ghs.
“
Youar
e”hesay
s.
“
Howar
efeel
i
ng”heasks.
“Notgoodmyhear
tisachi
ngNqubekosobad”Isay
sni
ffi
ng.
“
Onedayy
ouwon’
tfeel
thi
sway
”hesay
ssof
tl
y.
HiswordshitmehardbutIdon’
tevenwantt
hatone
day,
Iwanttodaywi
thhim andonl
yhim.
“
Ilov
eyouBey
ede”hesay
sendi
ngt
hecal
l
.
Il
ookatthescreenandcal
lthenumberagai
nbuti
t
goesst
raightt
ov oi
cemail
.
Il
eanagai
nstthewall
andputahandov
ermymout
h
asmyheartshat
ter
satourr
eali
ty.
Wit
hhim awayapar
tmedi
esandhedoesn’
tsee
t
hat.
Igetmy
sel
ftoget
herandst
andupst
rai
ghtwhena
fewwomenwalkin.
AuntyMart
hawailsassoonast
hechur
chwomen
ent
erthehouse.
“Awmt akamaohbambulel
eubhut
i”shesay
s
shout
ingforal
ltohear
.

.
..
..
..
..
.
Thi
sisf
ory
ourpar
ti
cipat
ion
Bay
ede’
skeeper

#11

Thepastfewweekshav ebeenhardonallof
us,
Nqubeko’
smot heri
sfall
ingapar
thersonis
behi
ndbarsandthere’
snothingmuchtheycando
abouti
t.
Mthembuispressi
ngthemat terandmakingt
hings
worse,
hef
requentsthehouset oseeAuntMart
ha
andmakesachor etoleaveastatementt
hat
Nqubekowil
lroti
njail
f orwhathedid.
Iam notcopi
ngal
thoughIam t
ryi
ngbutIcannot
copi
ng.
Thi
sthingi
seat
ingawayatme,
Ican’
tevenvisi
t
Nqubeko’
spar
entsseei
nghi
smotherthatbr
oken
hur
tsme.
IthoughtIcoul
dst
omachthet houghtofhi
m bei
ng
awaysincehemadeithi
smi ssiontotel
lmewhat
andhowIam supposedtofeel.
Butt
hetruthisev
er yti
meIcl
osemyeyesIpi
ctur
e
mysel
finhisarms,somehowthi
shasbeenkeepi
ng
mesanelovinghi
mi nmyt
hought
shaskeptme
goi
ngsof ar
.
Eversi
nceheappear
edinfr
ontofthej
udgehe
hasn’
tborr
owedanyone’
sphonetocal
landIam
worri
edabouthi
m.
Iwalkoutofmybedr
oom andfindKhethiweinthe
ki
tchenmakingsomefood,
thi
ngshaven’tbeenokay
si
nceAuntyMarthat
oldusthatshei
sn’tgoing
anywhere.
Thefuner
alwasbi
gwhi chwasexpectedevery
thi
ng
wasgrandandpol
ished,
menst oodtal
landspoke
aboutwhatagr
eatmanhewasIwant edtopuke
thr
oughoutt
hewholethingduetotheli
es.
Iwantedtostandupandshoutt oeveryonewho
wishedtoli
stenwhatkindofasickmonst ert
his
manwas, butli
ket
hegoodl i
ttl
ethatIam sat
thr
oughoutthewholethingandswallowedmywor ds.
Thewomandoesn’twantt
oleaveandshe’sbeen
spendi
ngherbr
other
’smoneyli
kether
e’sno
tomorr
ow,
shegotahugepayoutandispl
anningon
buyi
ngacarwel
lthat
’swhatshepr
eachesaboutal
l
dayl
ongsi
ncethefuner
al.
“
Mor
ningsi
si”shesay
srai
singherhead.
Ihav
ebeensoconsumedwithmyownpainand
conf
usi
onthatIhav
en’
tbeenpay
ingat
tent
iont
oher
.
“
Mor
ningsi
si”Isay
.
Shesmi
l
esandgoesbackt
omaki
ngherf
ood.
“
SisiIwasthinki
ngthatmay
bey
oushoul
dseea
t
herapist
”Isuggest
.
Shest
opscut
ti
nghert
omat
oandsi
ghsl
ooki
ngup.
“Whywoul
dIwantt
oseeashr
ink”sheasks
def
ensi
vel
y.
“
Becausey
ouneedt oheal
from al
lthet
hingst
hat
manusedtodo”Isay.
“Iguessyoutooneedashr i
nkbecausehemol ested
you,heusedtobeatyouupintoapulp.Remember
whenhebeaty ouupy oupeedony oursel
f,
howhe
brokeyourri
bsjustbecauseyouaccident
all
ybroke
hisbeer”shesays.
“
Howol
dwer
eyouwhent
hishappened”sheasks.
“
13”Isay
.
“
Seeyoual
soneedheali
ngbecauseyouarewor
se
t
hanmeBayede,youbot
tl
et hi
ngsupandal
lowt
hem
t
oeatawayatyou”shesays.
“
Idi
dn’
tmeant
oupsety
ou”Isay
.
“
Iam notupset
”shesay
s.
Inodandwal
kawayheadi
ngout
side.
Iwal
ktothebackofthehouseandt
aket
hewat
eri
ng
canf
rom thet
oll
shed.
Khet
hiwehasn’tbeentendi
ngtoherfl
owers,
theysti
l
l
l
ookbeauti
fulaseverbutneedali
tt
lebitofwater
.
“
Yey
e”shecal
l
sout
.
Idustmy
sel
fupandwal
ktowher
eshei
s.
“
HowaboutIdoyourhai
rthenmaybewecangoout
t
oni
ghtj
ustt
hetwoofus”shesays.
“
Iwoul
dlov
ethat
”Isay
.
Shewal
ksbackt
othehouseandcomesbackwi
tha
chai
randsi
tsmedown.
Fort
hefi
rsti
nmyentir
eli
feIsi
tst
il
lthr
ought
he
pul
li
ngandsepar
ati
ngofhai
r.
“Iam i
mpressednotev
enat
inywi
ncycr
yfr
om y
ou”
shesays.
Il
etoutal
aughandy
elp.
“Somuchf
orcompl
i
ment
ingy
ou”shesay
sgoi
ng
quiet
.
Hersi
l
encespeaksv
olumessomuchsof
earcr
eeps
i
n.
“
Arey
ouokay
”Iask.
“
Iam okayIwasj
ustthi
nki
ngwhatIwoul
ddoi
fyou
wer
etoleaveme”shesays.
“
Iwoul
dnev
erl
eav
eyou”Isayassur
ingher
.
“Imeanyouar
eleav
ingf
orschool
soonr
emember
”
shesays.
“
Idon’
twantt
ogot
oschool
”Isay
.
Shest
opsandplugsthecombonmyhai
rcomi
ngt
o
st
andinf
rontofme.
“
Why
”sheasks.
“Iam notcopingsi
si,
Ihav
eni
ght
mar
esoft
hatni
ght
overandov ergai
n.
Iseehi
m andthent
her
e’sNqubekoIj
ustdon’
tknow
howtogoonaboutmylifewhenhi
sisonlock
down”Isay.
“Iwi
shIcoul
dwaveamagi cwandandmakeal
lthi
s
goawaybutIcan’
t”shesay
s.
“ButIwantyoutogotoschool
Bay
edeandgety
our
educati
on”shesays.
“
Idon’
twantt
ogot
oschool
,
Iwantt
ost
ayher
ewi
th
y
ou”Isay
.
“
Andi
fIweret
ogoawaywhatt
hen”sheasksgi
vi
ng
meaf
aintsmi
l
e.
“
Iwoul
dgowi
th”Isay
.
Shest
andsupandl
i
ght
lypat
smyt
highs.
“Enoughaboutt
hesadst
uffl
et’
sfi
nisht
hisupsowe
cangoout”
Ilookatmyselfi
nthemir
rorandsmi
lesomet
imes
feeli
ngandlooki
nggoodnumbsthepai
nabit
.
Youseetheouterbeaut
yandt
empor
aryf
orget
aboutt
heinnerpai
n.
Khet
hiwelooksbeaut
if
ulshe’
sevenwear
ingmakeup
andheel
ssomet hi
ngIhaven’
tseeni
nawhile.
Itakeaf
ewpict
uresofherl
aughi
ngandsmil
ing
thenavi
deoofusmakingourwaytot
hetaxi
’
s.
“
Iam t
akingyoutot
hatpl
acey
oul
i
keRocco
mama’s”shesay
s.
“ImeantwhatIsai
dBayedeIwantyout
ogetyour
educat
ionandbebett
erthanIam”shesay
s.
“
Okay
”Isaybur
yingt
het
opi
c.
Wegett
otheplaceandapartf
rom t
hei
rdaunt
ing
menuev
eryt
hinggoeswell
.
Anfewminut
esint
oourmealBandi
l
ewalksinwit
h
hi
shandhangi
ngoveranot
herwoman’
swaist.
Hewhisper
ssomet
hingi
nherearandt
hel
ady
gi
ggl
es.
She’snothi
ngli
kemysisterormay bet
hissudden
urgeofjeal
ousiswhat’
stalki
ng,
Itakeagoodlookat
herandconcludeshe’
sdefini
tel
ynotli
kemysi st
er.
Bandi
l
eseesusjustaf
tert
aki
nghi
ssi
tandqui
ckl
y
st
andsupwalki
ngovertous.
“
Hi”hesay
slooki
ngatKhet
hiwe.
Mysisterfl
asheshi
m herbeaut
if
ulsmi
l
eandbat
s
hereyel
ids.
“
Bandi
l
e”shesay
s.
“IhopeIam notdist
urbi
ngIj
ustcamet
osayHi
”he
saysnervousl
ylaughi
ng.
“
Yey
e”hesay
slooki
ngatme.
Ist
areathi
mti
l
lKhet
hiwecl
ear
shert
hroat
.
“
Bhut
iBandi
l
e”Isay
.
“I
t’
sgoodt
oseey
ou,
Imeany
oul
ookamazi
ng”he
says.
Yeahy
eahwhat
evermyi
nnersel
fsnor
ts.
“Youarebeaut
if
ulMahl
ongo”hesay
sgenui
nel
y
smil
ing.
“
Thanky
ou”shesay
sbl
ushi
ng.
I
tfeel
sli
keIam wat
chi
ngsomex-
rat
edmov
ie.
“
Yourdat
eiswai
ti
ng”Isay
.
“
OhMpumi
isj
ustacol
l
eague”hesay
s.
“
Mhmm”Isay
.
“
Ireal
l
ymi
ssy
ouMahl
ongoev
ery
day
”hesay
ssof
tl
y.
Hi
seyesdon’
tleav
ehersandhi
svoi
cecar
ri
esso
muchagonyi
tremindsmeofmysel
f.
“
Imi
ssy
out
ooSi
bal
ukhul
u”shesay
s.
Hecl
ear
shi
sthr
oatandsl
i
ght
lynodshi
shead.
“
Ishoul
dgobackt
omyt
abl
e”hesay
swal
ki
ngaway
.
Iwanttoaskwhatallt
hatwasaboutthel
ookonher
facesaysi
t,somuchhasn’
tbeensai
dbetweenthese
twoyetattheaskti
mesomuchhasbeensai dand
ther
e’snogoingbackt
owhattheyoncewere.
“
Hest
il
ll
ovesy
ou”Isaybr
eaki
ngt
hesi
l
ence.
“Onedaywewil
lfi
ndourwaytoeachot
her
”she
sayssaysl
ooki
ngathermeal
.
“
Let
’sor
dersomedeser
t”shesay
s.
Ist
ealgl
ancesatBandi
l
ewho’
slooki
ngt
hiswayand
si
gh.

Wespendtherestofthedaytoget
herbondi
ngand
t
alki
ngaboutever
ythi
ngthathappened.
Thewalkhomeisquiettal
kinghasexhaust
edbot
h
ofus.wemakeourwayi nsi
dethehighwall
sand
fi
ndthesecur
it
ydoorlocked.
Khet
hiweknocksaf
ewt
imest
onoav
ail
.
Thetvisonmeani
ngt
her
ear
epeopl
einsi
det
he
house.
“
Aunt
”shecal
l
sout
.
“
Yeyphi
ndel
ani
lani
vel
ekhona”sheshout
sfr
om t
he
i
nsi
de.
“Aunt
ywher
edoy
ouexpectust
ogot
o”khet
hiwe
asks.
“Idon’
tcar
eisn’
tity
out
woar egr
ownwomenwho
gooutandcomebacklat
e,t
hengobackt
owher
e
youcomef r
om y
ouar
enotsl
eepi
ngi
nthi
shouse”
shesays.
“
Aunt
ypl
ease”Khet
hiwesay
sknocki
ngagai
n.
“
Yey!stopmakingnoiseli
keIsai
dgobacktowhere
youcomef r
om.Iwill
onlyopenthi
sdoori
nthe
morni
ngnowl eaveusalonemydaught
erandIwant
t
osleep”shesays.
Il
ookatt
het
imeandi
t’
s7:
30i
ntheev
eni
ng.
I
fwest
ayl
i
ket
hiswewil
lfr
eezet
odeat
hbutt
heni
f
wel
eav
ewewon’
theart
heendofit
.
“
Comewewi
l
lsl
eepi
nthet
ool
shed”Isay
.
Iwatchhersubt
lywi
pehert
ear
scar
eful
thatIdon’
t
seeher.
Shesl
owl
yst
andsupf
rom t
hest
oopandf
oll
owsme.

.
..
..
..
..
..
..
Sponsor
edbyMmamaMel
ete
Bay
ede’
skeeper

#12

Befor
eNqubekowenttoprisonIwasreal
lyl
ooki
ng
for
wardtothenewyear,
butitcameandpassedand
all
Icoul
ddowassitalonewi t
hmythoughtsand
wonderwhathi
swaslike.
Thinki
ngabouthimishardhe’
sgetti
ngsentenced
nextmonth,
thethoughtofhi
sli
febei
ngatthehands
ofmanmakesmewantt oscr
eam.
Igotmyresult
sandever
ythingwentasexpect
edI
passedwell
baggingf
ourdisti
nct
ions.
Ifi
twasanyotherperi
odofmyl i
feIwouldbehappy
andexci
tedaboutthepossi
bil
i
tyofnewt hi
ngsbut
myheartcan’
tseem topull
atthosehappystr
ings.
Asforthehousetheenvi
ronmentkeepsget
ti
ng
worse,
AuntMarthaismakingourl
ivesal
ivi
nghel
l
especi
all
yaft
erlear
ningt
hatthehousebel
ongsto
her.
Myfat
herdeci
dedt
otaket
hehouseandgi
vei
tto
hi
sevi
lsi
ster
.
Somanythingsar
en’
tmakingsenseIknowhe
abusedusbutIdi
dn’
tknowhehatedusthi
smuch.
Il
ookatKhet
hiwegoi
ngt
hrought
hecupboar
ds.
Wehavebeenli
vi
ngthi
sli
feforawhil
enowfood
goesmissi
ngar
oundthehouse,
foodmysi
sterbuy
s
wit
hhermoney.
“Ican’
ttaket
hisany
mor
eBay
edet
hiswomani
svi
l
e”
shesays.
“
Weshoul
dmov
eout
”Isay
.
Shenodsherheadandsi
ghs.
“Ineedtot r
yhardernothi
ngseem t
obewor kingout
,
andt hefactthatIdon’
thaveanyworkexper
ience
makesi thardforpeopletohi
reme”shesays.
“
Don’
twor
rysomet
hingwi
l
lcomeup”Isay
.
Shesmi
l
esandsshr
ugs.
“Fort
hef
irstt
imeinalongwhi
leIr
eall
ymissmama,
shewastakenfr
om uswaytoosoon”shesay
s
deepl
ysi
ghi
ng.
“
Imi
sshert
oo”Isay
.
Vumi
l
ewal
ksi
nandl
ooksatus.
“HauKhethi
weIt
houghty
oumakesomet
hingt
o
eat”shesay
s.
“Wit
hwhathuhyouactasify ouandyourmother
don’
thi
defoodinyourbedroom andsti
l
lsteal
the
onemysist
erbuys”Isay.
Herey
eswi
denandsher
estahandonherwai
st.
“
Eveni
fyoulookatmeli
ket
hatweallknowthetrut
h
y
ouandyourmotherar
enot
hingbutl
eeches”Isay.
“
Bay
edecal
m down”Khet
hiwesay
s.
“Iwi
l
lmakesuremymotherhear
saboutt
hiswhen
shecomeshome”Vumi
l
esay s.
“
Yeahwhat
evert
ell
herIdon’
tcar
e”Isay
.
“
Ngi
zokushay
aBay
ede”shesay
s.
“
Goaheadt
ryme”Isay
.
Shechar
gest
owar
dsmeandKhet
hiweget
sint
he
mi
ddl
e.
“
Noti
nfr
ontofme”shesay
s.
Vumi
l
enodsherheadandwal
ksaway
s.
“
Ngi
zoni
boni
saani
ngazi
nina”shesay
s.
Khethi
wewal
kst
oherbedr
oom andcomesback
wit
haR50notei
nhand.
“
Gobuyussomebr
eadandeggs”shesay
s.
Iknowthi
sisherl
astcentandthethoughtofhaving
eggsmakeswanttopuke,Idon’
tknowwhybutt he
l
astti
meIboughteggstheyallseemedtoberotten.
“
Iam sor
ryf
orbei
ngabur
den”Isaysof
tl
y.
Shequi
ckl
yshakesherhead.
“Bay
edey ouarenotabur
deny
ouar
emyl
i
ttl
esi
ster
andIlov
ey ou”shesay
s.
“Nogogetussomethingt
oeatbef
orey
ouraunt
comesback”shesays.
Inodmyheadandwal
kout
.
Thewal
ktot
heshopi
sdr
aini
ngwi
thev
eryst
ept
hat
It
akeIr
ememberNqubekoaccompany
ingme.
Hissi
l
lyj
okeandhowhebarel
ysmi
l
edwi t
hany
one
butwi
thmehiseyeswoul
dcomeal
ive.
Igett
otheshopandbuysomewhi
tebr
ead,
achar
andeggs.
Walki
ngbackhomeIam metwi
thaf
ew
quest
ionabl
est
ares.
Ial
mostfeel
nakedwhenmenst
artt
urni
ngwi
thme
andey
eingme.
If
inall
yreacht
hehi
ghwal
l
sandsi
ghmaki
ngmyway
i
nside.
Thehouseisawf
ull
yquietbutIcanhearsome
sni
ff
lescomingf
rom Khethi
we’sbedr
oom.
Iwal
ktoherbedr
oom andknockacoupl
eoft
imes
bef
oreshel
etsmein.
“
Hey
”Isay
.
Shewipeshert
ear
sandt
ri
esherhar
destnott
olet
thet
earsfal
l
.
“
Sisi
what
’swr
ong”Iask.
“
It
’snot
hingYey
eIj
ustf
eel
over
whel
med”shesay
s.
Herphonekeepsgoi
ngof
fpi
ngaf
terpi
ng.
“
Letmesee”Isay
.
Sher
eachesf
ort
hephonebef
oreIcan.
“
Khet
hiwe”Isay
.
“
Justl
eav
emeal
oneBay
ede”sheshout
s.
“OkayIwi
ll
gototheki
tchenandmakey
ou
somethi
ngtoeat
”Isay
.
“
Idon’twantt
hedamnf
oodIj
ustwanty
out
oleav
e
mealone”shesay
s.
“
Okay
”Isaywal
ki
ngout
.
Icl
osethedoorbehi
ndmeandwalkbacktot
he
ki
tchentof
indVumil
ebeat
ingsomeeggs.
“
Youmustbeki
ddi
ngme”Isay
.
“Thi
sismymot
her
’shouseandIam hungr
y”she
says.
“
Iwi
l
lshowy
ouhungr
y”Isayr
eachi
ngf
ort
hebowl
.
It
hrowt
heeggsi
nthesi
nkandopent
het
ap.
“Si
esukhohl
akel
eBay
edej
ustl
ikethatsl
utsi
sterof
your
swhoseducedmyuncl
eandlateroncri
edrape”
shesays.
Somethinginsi
deofmesnapsaswhatshej
ustsai
d
sl
owlyrepeatsit
sel
f.
“
What
”Iask.
“
Youhear
dme”shesay
s.
Ir
eachf
orherbr
aidsandpul
lthem har
d.
“
Bay
edey
ouar
ehur
ti
ngme”shesay
s.
Shebendsal
i
ttl
ewhi
l
escr
eami
ngherl
ungsout
.
“Youdon’
ttal
kaboutmysisterwi
tht
hatfatmout
h
ofyour
s”Isayusi
ngmyfiststohi
ther.
“
Uyangi
bul
auy
angi
bul
ala”shescr
eams.
Ipul
lherupandhitherheadagainstt
heki
tchen
count
erdraggi
nghertothesink.
Iopent
het
apandputt
heheadi
nsi
de.
“Speakaboutmysisterl
i
ket
hatev
eragai
nandIwi
l
l
kil
lyou”Isayl
ett
inggo.
“
Bay
ede”Khet
hiwesay
slooki
ngatme.
Il
ookatherandcl
i
ckmyt
onguewal
ki
ngoutt
othe
backoft
hehouse.
Iwal
ktothegardenandstar
twater
ingherfl
owers
she’
snegl
ect
ingthem wi
theachdaythatpasses.

Isi
tupst
rai
ghtanddustmy
sel
fthesunhasgone
downandit
’snowchi
ll
y.
Imakewayi nsi
dethehouseandf
indmyaunt
rai
singherbl
acklabel
.
“
YaBay
edet
heGol
i
athoft
hishouse”shesay
s.
If
oldmyar
msandl
ookather
.
Sher
eachesi
nsi
deherbr
aandt
akesoutherphone.
Shepressesi
tacoupl
eoft
imesandput
sitont
he
tabl
e.
“
Thi
siswhyy
oubeatupmychi
l
d”sheasks.
Ir
eachfort
hephoneandlookatthescr
een,
avi
deo
ofKhet
hiweandSabel
oisplay
ing.
Heisdeepinsi
deherandshei
smoani
ng
pl
easur
ablysounds.
Hi
sfacei
snotshowi
ngbutIknowi
t’
shi
m.
“Sheseducedmybrotheropenedherl egsforhi
m
andthencri
edrape,
Ihavebeenqui etfortoolong
Bayedeyouandyoursist
erareslut
sj ustli
keyour
motherwhogaveittoeverymanshesaw”shesay s.
Iswal
l
owhar
dherwor
dshi
tmehar
d.
Ipl
acethephonedownany onecant ell
Khethiwei
s
outofi
t,
she’snother
selfevenhereyesareclosed
andherbodyisjustr
eacti
ngdespit
et he
ci
rcumstances.
Il
ookatabrui
sedsmi l
i
ngVumil
esot hi
siswhatshe
meantear
li
eron,
Ishouldhav
edrownedherfatf
ace
whenIhadthechance.
“Iam housingslutsit’
sagoodt hi
ngmyhusband
diedal ongtimeagoory ouwoul dbeopeningyour
thickl
egsf orhi
ml ikeyoursist
erdi
dt oyour
father
,siesyoukidsaredisgusti
ng”shesays.
Ist
andt
her
easshet
hrowsi
nsul
taf
teri
nsul
t.
“
Siphi
leseqamgwaqosaki
niKhet
hiwe”sheshout
s.
“
Del
i
lahweh”shesay
s.
I
t’
stakesawhi
lebutKhet
hiwewal
ksoutofher
bedr
oom andj
oinsus.
She’
stoobr
okenandashamedt
oev
enr
aiseher
head.
Imov
ecl
oserandpul
lheri
ntomyar
ms.
“
Leti
tal
loutsi
si
”Iwhi
sper
.
Shefai
lst
oholdher
sel
fandbol
tsi
ntoal
oudcr
y
hol
dingmeti
ght.
“
Sothat
’swhyy ourmotherkil
l
edhersel
fbecause
y
outookyourfatherawayfr
om herhuh,
shewasno
l
ongert
hewifebecausewer enowhiswife”shesay
s
t
aki
ngsipsofherbeer.
Shel
ooksatusandshakesherhead.
“Si
nceyoudeci
dedtohur
tVumileIguessallt
he
housechor
eswill
donebyyou”shesayslooki
ngat
me.
Aknockcomest
hroughandKhet
hiwepul
l
saway
whent
hedooropens.
Bandi
l
ewal
ksandt
aki
ngof
fhi
sbeani
e.
“
Eveni
ng”hesay
s.
Igreetbackasmyauntl
ooksathi
mfr
om headt
o
toe.
“
Khethi
wemayIhav
eawor
dwi
thy
ou”Bandi
l
e
r
equest
s.
“
Don’
tkeepyourcl
i
entwai
ti
ngKhet
hiwe”Aunt
Mar
thasaysl
aughi
ng.
Iwal
ktoKhet
hiwe’
sbedr
oom apackheranov
er
ni
ghtbagwal
kingout
.
Sheneedsanightawayfr
om thi
shousesheneeds
Bandi
lenowmor ethanev
er,
Igiv
eahugandhead
backi
nsidet
hehouse.
“Hay
ikeIguessy ouar egoingtocookseei
ngthat
Vumil
ecan’tdoany thingoryouwanttogoprosti
tut
e
your
selfl
i
key oursister”shesays.
Iheadt
otheki
tchenandf
inal
l
ybr
eat
hebl
i
nki
ng
tear
saway.
“I
maginemamasleepingwit
hanoldmanyourf
ather
evensi
es,
IbetBayedehasoncesl
eptwi
thhi
mtoo”
Vumil
esaysenoughformehear.
Theybot
hst
art
ingl
aughi
ngandcl
appi
ng.
“
Orphansaret
roubl
ethat
’swhyIwant
edt
oki
ck
t
hem out”
AuntMart
hasays.
IshutmyeyesKhethi
wewasrightIneedt
ogoto
schoolandmaybeshecancr
ashinatBandil
e’
sti
l
l
webothokay.

.
..
..
..
.
Bay
ede’
skeeper

#13

Todayi
sabitcl
oudyit
’ssi
xint
hemor
ningbuti
t’
s
st
il
ldar
kandmistyout
side.
Istr
etchmysel
fandgetoutofbedsl
i
ppi
ngi
ntomy
sl
ippers.
Iopenthewi
ndowandsi
ghsuddenl
yIf
eel
gloomy
toojustl
i
ket
hisweat
her
.
Imakemywayt otheki
tchenandst
artcl
eani
ngt
he
house,
i
t’
snotthatbi
gbutwithf
ourpeopl
eli
vi
ngi
nit
theworki
stoomuch.
AuntMarthawal
ksi
nandpl
acesapl
ast
icbagont
he
ki
tchencount
er.
“TodayIf
eel
li
kehav
ingsomeEngl
i
shbr
eakf
ast
”she
says.
“Andther
e’ssomewashi
ngthatneedst
obedone”
shesaysstil
ll
ooki
ngatme.
Shet
urnsonherheal
sbutqui
ckl
ytur
nsback.
“Andmakesur
etocall
thatusel
esssi
sterofy
our
sto
comehome”shesays.
Inodmyheadandcar
ryonwi
thmycl
eani
ng.
If
ini
shupever
ythi
ngandst
artmaki
ngt
hei
r
br
eakfast
.
Shewentalloutf
rom t
hemostexpensi
vebacont
o
themostexpensi
vecheese.
Every
thi
ngisf
rom wooli
es,
Ihearsomegi
ggl
esandI
watchasshewal
ksMt hembuout .
Ishakemyheadt
hiswomanhasnoshame.
Mthembugrabsherf
latar
sefrom herpi
nkgownand
whisper
ssomethi
nginherear
.
Shegiggl
esl
i
keaschool
gir
landr
eachesi
nsi
deher
breast
.
Shepul
lsoutaf
ewnotesandhandst
hem t
o
Mthembuwhothenki
ssesher
.
Thismanisknownt
oheawomani
zerwhotar
gets
widows,
andwomanwhohav
emoneyingener
al.
Hesucksthem dryt
il
ltheyar
elef
twithnothi
ngand
l
eavesthem oncehe’
sdonespendingthei
rmoney.
“Ihat
ethaty
ouar
enotst
ayi
ngf
orbr
eakf
ast
”she
says.
“I
t’
sokayBay
edeandVumi
l
ewi
l
leatt
hef
ood”he
says.
Sherol
l
shereyesandf
oranol
dper
sont
odot
hisi
s
j
ustchi
ldi
sh.
“
Wil
lIseey
out
oni
ght
”sheasks.
“
Ofcour
se”hesay
sey
eingme.
Iswal
l
owhar
dandt
ight
enmyhol
dov
ert
hekni
fe.
Shewal
kspastmemaki
ngherwayt
othebedr
oom.
Il
ookatmyphonest i
llnot
hingf
rom Khet
hiwe,
Itr
y
cal
li
ngherbutherphonegoesstrai
ghtt
ovoicemail
.
Igetthedoorwhenaknockcomest hr
oughandf
ind
Phethil
estandi
ngonourdoor
step.
Shepul
l
smei
ntoherar
msembr
aci
ngme.
“
Whydi
dn’tyoucal
l,
Iwai
tedal
lni
ghtt
ohearf
rom
y
ouorKhethi
we”shesayshuf
fi
ng.
Ipul
lawayandconcl
udesheknowsaboutt
he
tr
endi
ngvideo.
“Idi
dn’
thav
ethest
rengt
htodoany
thi
ngl
astni
ght
”I
admit.
Shenodsherheadanddeepl
ysi
ghs.
“Ev
er y
thingi
sfal
l
ingapar
t”shesay
ssoundi
ng
defeated.
“
Wher
edi
dwegowr
ong”sheasks.
Ishr
ugmyshoul
der
s.
“
Idon’
tknowPhet
hil
e”Isay
.
Shel
ooksatherphonet
henme.
“
Ishoul
dgoIjustwantedt
oseey
ouandmakesur
e
y
ouareokay
”shesay s.
“
Letmewal
kyout
othegat
e”Isay
.
Iwal
kinsi
det
hehouseandt
urnof
fthest
ove.
IwalkPhet
hil
etot
hegat
eandwal
kbackt
othe
housetocarr
yonmydut
ies.
Thedaywentbywi
thnot
hingf
rom Khet
hiwe,
Itooka
napthenwoket
otakeal
ongbathandheadedoutto
Bandil
e’
spl
ace.
Ifi
ndthegateopenbutthedoorl
ockedandi
tseems
l
ikether
e’snooneinsi
de.
Ir
eachf
ormyphoneandcal
lBandil
e,
hepi
cksup
af
teraf
ewri
ngsj
ustasIam aboutt
ohangup.
“
Yey
e”hesay
s.
“Hi
,Bhut
iBandil
eIam atyourhousel
ookingfor
Khet
hiwebutthere’
snooneinthehouse”Isay.
“Whatdoy
oumeant
her
e’snoonei
nthehouse”he
asks.
“Thegatewasunlockedbutt
hedoori
slocked,
did
sheperhapsl
eave”Iask.
“
Noshedi
dn’
tIl
efthersl
eepi
ng”hesay
s.
“
Don’
tmov
eokayIam onmyway
”hesay
s.
Heendsthecall
andIpati
entl
ywai
tforhi
mto
ar
ri
ve,
itt
akesafewhoursforhimt
ogethomebut
hedoeslooki
ngworr
iedasIam.
“
Iam sor
ryIt
ookl
ongt
her
ewast
raf
fi
cal
ongt
he
way
”hesays.
Hetakesouthi
skeyandopenst
hedoorwal
ki
ng
i
nsi
def i
rst
.
If
oll
owbehindandwaiti
nthel
oungeashemakes
hi
swaytothebedroom.
“
Khet
hiwe”hecal
l
soutcomi
ngoutofhi
sbedr
oom.
Hesl
owl
ymakeshi
swayt
othebat
hroom andopens
t
hedoor
.
“
No.
.no.
.Khet
hiwe”hescr
eams.
Igetonmyf
eetandr
unt
owar
dshi
m buthebl
ocks
theway.
“
Letmego”Ishout
.
“
Youcan’
tseet
hisYey
e”hesay
sst
il
lhol
dingme.
Ihi
thi
m onthechestandf
ightmywayi
nti
l
lhegi
ves
upandlet
smet hr
ough.
Ist
oponmyt racksandfal
ltomykneeswhenIsee
herbodysubmergedunderwat
er.
Icr
awl
towar
dst
hebat
htubandpul
lherout
.
She’
scoldandpal
eherey
esar
eti
ght
lyshutandher
wri
star
eslit
.
If
eel
mybr
eat
hel
eav
emyl
ungsasIl
ookather
.
“Youcan’
tdothi
stomey
oucan’
t”Isayt
ryi
ngt
ogi
ve
hermouthtomouth.
Ipl
acemyhandsonherchestandt
ryt
orev
iveher
.
“
Khet
hiwev
ulaamehl
o”Isay
..
Shelookssomuchatpeacemyhear
tfeel
sri
pped
outofmychest
.
“
Khet
hiwe”Bandi
l
esay
slet
ti
ngoutamanycr
y.
Ipul
lhercl
oset
omychestandshakeher
.
“
Sisi
pleasewakeyoucan’tl
eav
eme,youcan’
tleav
e
mealonepleasewakeup”Il
ookatherpal
efaceand
l
etoutasob.
“No”aburni
ngl
umpfor
msonmyt
hroatasIf
indi
t
dif
fi
cul
ttoswal
l
ow.
IfeelBandi
l
e’sarmswrapar
oundmeashesl
owl
y
peelsmeof fKhet
hiwe.
“
Cal
lanambul
ance”Isay
.
Hel
ooksatmeandwi
peshi
stear
s.
“
Yey
eshe’
sgone”Hesay
s.
Ishakemyheadandpul
lhercl
oset
ome.
“
She’
snotpl
easecal
lanambul
ance”Isay
.
Her
eachesforhi
sphonei
nhi
spocketandcal
l
sfor
t
hepol
iceandmedics.
Icl
i
ngont
omysi
sterandl
etoutbi
tt
ersobs.
Bandi
lewal
ksoutl
eav
ingmewit
hKhet
hiweIhol
d
hercl
oseandcl
osemyeyes.
“Yey
e”Il
ookupandf
indNqubeko’
smot
herl
ooki
ng
atme.
“
It
’sokaysi
sil
ethergo”shesay
s.
Ishakemyheadandhol
dherev
ent
ight
er.
Idon’
tknowwhenshegother
ebutt
her
ear
etwo
manstandi
ngnextt
oher.
“
Weneedt
otaket
hebody
”oneoft
hemansay
s.
Myauntwal
ksi
nandl
ooksatme.
“
Hawukodwaj
esu”shesay
sthr
owi
ngher
sel
font
he
gr
ound.
Bandi
l
eget
stohersi
deandhel
psherup.
Ilookatoneoft
hemanandcl
aspmyhands
together
.
“She’smysist
erandshewoul
dnev
erl
eav
emeal
one
pleasehel
pher”Isay
.
Henodshi
sheadandt
akesabaggoi
ngdownonhi
s
knee.
“
Pleasemoveyourhandforme”Imovemyhandand
watchashechecksherbr
eathi
ngandpul
se.
Hetr
iesr
evi
vi
ngheraf
ewmi
nut
esandsi
ghsl
ooki
ng
atme.
“
Iam sor
rybutshe’
sgone”hesay
s.
“
No.
..
no.
..
noy
ouar
ewr
ong”Isay
.
“
Iam t
rul
ysor
ry”hesay
sst
andi
ngup.
Ifeel
myhear
tteari
ntotwoast
heycov
erupher
bodyandt
akeherout.
Nqubeko’
smot
herhol
dsmei
ntoherar
mswhi
l
eI
weep.
Thepainshoot
sstrai
ghtt
othehear
t,
Ist
ruggl
eto
breat
heandfeelt
heurgetothr
owup.
“Someonebr
inghersomewat
er”Nqubeko’
smot
her
shout
s.
Bandi
lewal
ksi
nwi
thagl
assofwat
erandhel
psme
dri
nk.
“
Why”Iaskcoi
l
inguphol
dingont
oNqubeko’
s
mot
her.
Mysist
eri
sgoneandIhav
enooneel
seshel
eftme
al
lal
oneandi
thurt
s.

.
..
..
..
..
..
.
Bay
ede’
skeeper

#14

If
eelnumbri
ghtnowdet
achedf
rom ev
ery
thi
ngt
hat
i
shappeni
ngaroundme.
I
thasn’
tful
lyki
ckedi
nyett
hatshei
sgoneandIam
l
eftal
lal
one.
TheNewYearhasn’
tful
l
yki
ckst
art
edy
et,
butIhav
e
al
readyl
ostsomuch.
Ever
ythi
ngishappeni
ngt
oqui
ckl
yIcan’
tseem t
o
fi
ndmyf eet
.
AuntMar thasuggestedthefuneralbeheldsoonas
possible,
toherKhethiweisadisgraceforki
ll
ing
herself
.
Alt
houghthefuner
alwasr
ushedi
twasabeaut
if
ul
serv
iceandsendoff.
Nqubeko’
sfamil
yaswel
lasBandi
l
econt
ri
but
ed
morethanenough.
Peoplehadsomanybeautif
ulthi
ngstosayabout
her,
butthenagai
nweallknowpeoplesaygood
thi
ngsaboutevery
oneoncetheydie.
Notforget
ti
nghowt heyemphasizedonthef
actt
hat
shelef
thersist
erbehind,
wel
lthat’
swhather
orbut
uarystat
edasifIneededremindi
ng.
Allt
hishappensinaspaceofaweekbeforetodayI
keptthinkmaybeifIshutmyey
esti
ghtenoughand
fal
lasleepIwoul
dwakeupandseeher .
Ikeptt
hinki
ngmay
beshewoul
dbenextt
omeand
all
thi
swouldbeabaddr
eam.
Iwantnothingmoret
hanforallt
hist
obea
dream,f
orsomeonetotel
lmet hatmysi
steri
sal
i
ve
thatal
lthi
swasjustabadprank.
Il
ookaroundherbedroom andsi
ghhert
hingsare
al
readymissi
ng,
hershoesandclot
hesar
eal r
eadyin
Vumile’
sbedr
oom.
Ican’
tev
enbri
ngmy sel
ftosayany
thi
ngaboutt
hem
usi
ngmysist
erscl
othes.
Thesepeopl
eki
l
ledherandnowt
heyar
edoi
ngas
theypl
ease,Ibl
ameMar thaandherdaughterformy
sist
er’
sdeat
hhadt heynotleakedt
hathorr
iblevideo
noneofthi
swoul dhavehappened.
ThedooropensandAuntMart
hawal
ksi
nshel
ooks
atmeandsettl
esonthebed.
“
Bay
ede”shesay
s.
Il
ookatheranddeepl
ysi
gh.
“
Iam sosor
ryabouty
oursi
ster
”shesay
s.
Iknowshedoesn’
tmeanawor
d.
“
Thanky
ou”Isay
.
“If
oundt
hisont
hemai
lboxVumi
l
eopenedi
t”she
says.
Itaket
helet
terandreadi
tIgott
hef
ull
schol
arshi
p
andspacetostudy.
“Congr
atul
ati
onssi
siyouaregoingtouniver
sit
yand
youwil
lbecomesomet hi
nggreatunli
keyoursi
ster
”
shesaysstandi
ngupheadingforthedoor.
Igr
abmyphoneandl
ookatt
hemanyemai
l
sinmy
i
nbox.
Alotofthem popupbutonecatchesmyey
eIneed
t
ogosi gnanagreementsoon.
Ilookatt
helet
terKhet
hiwewr
otemebef
oreshe
tookherl
if
e.
Idon’
thavethest
rengt
htoreadi
tsoIpl
acei
tunder
thematt
ressandwalkout
.
Thehousei
sslowl
ycl
eari
ngever
y oneisl
eavi
ng
expectf
ort
hosewhoarebusydr
inkingoutonthe
l
awn.
I
t’scal
led“af
tert
ears”Ishakemyheadandwal kt
o
thebackofthehouse,Ist
andbeforeKhet
hiwe’
s
gardenherfl
owersaredeaththeyhavewil
ted.
Apartofmetel
l
stheymet
heywer
epr
epar
edf
or
t
hisandIwasn’
t.
“
Hey
”Bandi
l
esay
s.
“
Iam sor
ryIshoul
dn’
thav
elef
theral
lal
one”hesay
s.
He’sbeenblami
nghi
msel
fsi
ncet
hiswhol
ethi
ng
happened.
“
It
’snotyourfaul
tal
lthesi
gnswer
ether
eIwasj
ust
t
ooblindtoseethem”Isay.
“Ipr
omi
sedyoursist
erthatIwoul
dbet her
eforyou
nomatt
erwhathappens,i
fyoueverneedanyt
hing
call
me”hesays.
“
Thanky
ou”Isay
.
Het
akesoutaf
ewnot
esf
rom hi
spocketandgi
ves
t
hem t
ome.
“Imeani
tBay
edei
fyouev
erneedany
thi
ngcal
lme”
hesays.
Inodmyheadandsmil
ehi
m andmysi
sterwoul
d
beengoodt
oget
her.
“
Ishoul
dgohome”hesay
s.
Hewal
ksawayandIsi
tther
elooki
ngatt
hegar
den.
“
Bay
ede”AuntMar
thacal
l
sout
.
Iwal
kbacki
nsi
det
hehouseandf
indherwai
ti
ngf
or
me.
“
Her
egobuymet
wobeer
snextdoor
”shesay
s.
Nqubeko’
smotherwalksinbef
oreIcant
aket
he
moneyandlooksather.
“
Mar
that
hechi
l
djustbur
iedhersi
ster
”shesay
s.
“Hol
ditri
ghtther
eZandi
lethi
sismybrot
her’
s
daught
erandIcansendhertotheshopi
fandwhen
Iwantto”AuntMart
hasays.
“Whydon’
tyousendVumi
l
e”Nqubeko’
smot
her
asks.
“
Becauseshe’
sbusy
”AuntMar
thasay
s.
“
WellBay
edeisnotgoi
ngany
wher
e”Nqubeko’
s
mot
hersays.
“Hayi
singabuyesi
thi
niangit
hiuyi
ntandane”she
saysgoingbacktoherguests.
Il
ookatNqubeko’
smot
herandf
li
ngi
nherar
ms.
“
Khal
asi
si”shesay
s.
Il
eti
tal
loutandcl
i
ngont
oherf
ordearl
i
fe.
“
It
’snotf
airMa,
i
t’
sreal
l
ynotf
air
”Isay
.
Shepul
l
sawayandwi
pesmyt
ear
s.
“
Youar
egoi
ngt
obeokayt
rustme”shesay
s.
“
Ineedy out
obest
rongokayy
ouwi
l
lgett
hrough
t
his”shesays.
“
Hav
eyour
eadt
hel
ett
er”sheasks.
“
No,
Iam af
rai
dtoknowwhat
’si
nther
e”Isay
.
“
Wher
eisi
t”sheasks.
“
It
’si
nKhat
hiwe’
sbedr
oom”Isay
.
“
Come”shesay
s.
Shehol
dsmyhandandl
eadst
hewayt
oKhet
hiwe’
s
bedr
oom.
“Wozasi
siIdon’
twantyoutodot
hisal
one”she
saysr
eachi
ngforthel
ett
er.
Shepat
sthespacenexttoher,
Imovecloserand
set
tl
enextt
oherthi
sisitIgettohearhi
sthoughts.
Sheopenst
hel
ett
erandhol
dsmyhand.

“Mybeauti
fulBay
edeIam sorr
yforleavingyou,I
knowit
’shardtounder
standbutIcouldn’thol
don
anyl
onger.
It
houghtIwasstr
ongenoughbutthatvi
deowasthe
l
astnai
ltomycoffi
n.Iwi
shIcoul
dhol dyounowand
makeyouunderst
andwhyIhavetogo.IwishIcoul
d
hol
dyounowandsaygoodby
ejustt
ofi
llt
hatempt
y
voi
dyouar
efeel
i
ngri
ghtnowbutIcan’
t.
It
’sthethoughtstheyf i
nall
ygottomeandIcoul dn’t
stopthem.Ilovey ousomuchmor ethanyouwill
everknowbutIam t i
redsot i
redthati
fIheldonI
wouldhav edestr
oy edev enyouintheprocess.
Idon’twishf
oryoutotoeverexperi
encewhatIam
feel
ing,
Idon’
teverwishy
out ofeel
thisvoi
dand
darknessIam f
eeli
ng.
Youmightnotbel
i
eveitnowbutIwanty
out
othatI
l
oveandIam sorr
yforleav
ingy
ouwhenIpr
omisedI
woul
dn’t
.
Iam sorr
yforf
orci
ngyoutobestr
ongwhenyou
shoul
dn’t
,t
hatmanbrokeusandIfai
l
edyouasabi
g
si
ster.
Ifai
l
edtoprotecty
ouandIam sorryYeye,
Ihopet
his
doesn’
tchangeyoumybeaut
if
ul Yeye.
Ti
l
lwemeetagai
nIl
ovey
ouHai
l
”

Shef
oldst
hel
ett
erandl
ooksatme.
“Shewasinpainsi
siandshecouldn’
tdeal
wit
hthe
pain”shesay
sholdi
ngmet i
ght.
Ican’
tst
opt het
earsthemyheartachesev
enmor
e
nowthatIhaveheardherl
ett
er.
“
Youneedt
ofor
giv
eherandl
ethergo”shesay
s.
“
Idon’
tknowhowt
oo”Isayhonest
ly.
“
Ialsodon’
tknowhowt ol
etmysongobutIam
t
ryi
ngbecausethat
’sl
i
fe”shesay
shol
dingme.
Ifal
lasl
eepinherar
msandhol
dhert
ightast
he
painsi
nksin.

Iwakeuptoanemptyroom andy
awngetti
ngup,I
movetothewindowandcl
osethecur
tai
nsput
ting
onthel
ight
s.
Ir
ememberf
all
ingasl
eepi
nZandi
l
e’sar
mspoor
womanmusthavelef
t.
Thehouseisnoi
sycl
ear
lywesti
llhav
edrunks
around,
Imakemywaytotheki
tchenbutst
oponmy
t
rackswhenIheargi
ggl
es.
Ieav
esdr
opandhol
dmybr
eat
he.
“
ComeonMar
tha”Mt
hembusay
s.
Shegi
ggl
esev
enl
ouder
.
“
Whati
fyout
ast
eherandf
orgetaboutme”sheasks.
“
Ohcomeony ourbr
otherusedtomakemet
ast
e
t
heot
hersi
ster
”hesaysproudly
.
If
eel
sickt
omyst
omachhear
ingt
hat
.
“Hewassavi
ngthisoneforhi
mselfbutnowt hat
he’
sgoneIbel
ieveIcanhaveherjustonce,
Ipromise
oneni
ghtwit
hherandIwi l
lbeyourswheneveryou
needme”hesays.
Shegoessi
l
entf
orawhi
l
eandsi
ghs.
“Letmethi
nkabouti
tshej
ustl
osthersi
sterIam
sureshe’
ssti
l
lhur
ti
ng”Mart
hasays.
“
Goodandi
fyoul
i
keIwi
l
lpayf
orher
”hesay
s.
“
Howabouty
ouconv
incemef
ir
st”shesay
s.
“
Righther
e”Mt
hembuaskshesi
tant
ly.
“
Idon’
tseeapr
obl
em”Mar
thasay
s.
Iswall
owhar
dandgobackt
oKhet
hiwebedr
oom
l
ockingit
.
Sothi
smant oor
apedmysist
erandt
hiswoman
whohappenstobemyver
yownauntwantstosel
l
me.
It
akeKhet
hiwe’
sfr
amedpi
ctur
eandpl
ayasongon
myphone.

‘
Sobonanakwel
il
iny
eil
i
zwe
Kuy
abandaekhay
aawukho
Ndi
ngxamel
eubonauncumol
wakho
Si
hlel
isi
phel
esi
sqhazol
o
Okwangoku
Lal
a,l
alangoxol
ox3
Okwangoku
Lal
a,l
alangoxol
ox3
Uy
abonamanj
eakukhoxol
o
Bendi
cimbandi
namandl
a
Andi
ykhol
elwa
I
nyembezi
,azi
phel
i
Akusaf
ani
lamaungekho
Ubungat
heawuy
ont
o,ngaphandl
ekwami
Awuy
ont
o
Kwaphel
aubumboza
Andi
nant
o
Jobaumki
l
e
Okwangoku
Lal
a,l
alangoxol
ox3
Okwangoku
Lal
a,l
alangoxol
ox3
Youusedt
otel
lmeIwoul
dgof
ar,
ey
Youusedt
otel
lmeIwoul
dbeast
ar,
ey
Iknowy
oul
i
vingbet
terwher
eyouar
e,ey
Youdon'
tneednoi
ce,
youdon'
tneednof
ancycar
,
ey
Ngel
i
nyei
l
angasi
zobonana…,

.
..
..
..
Sponsor
ed
Bay
ede’
skeeper

#15

Ihaven’
tbeenfeel
inggoodlat
elybutt
odayIf
eel
worsethananyotherdays.
Ihavebeenpukingal
lni
ghtandIam runni
nga
fever,
i
fIdidn’
tknowbet
terIwoul
dsaymyheart
decidedtotel
lmywholebodytoshutdown.
Ever
ythi
nghurt
snottomenti
onhowt
ir
edIam and
fi
ndi
ngitdi
ff
icul
ttowakeup.
IevenmissedNqubeko’ ssent
enci
ngandmay be
that’
sagoodthing,Idon’
tthi
nkIwouldhavebeen
abletohol
dmy selfhadIseenhim bei
ngtakenaway
.
Hegot18y ear
sinpri
sonf
ormansl
aught
erwi
tht
he
possi
bil
i
tyofparol
e.
Thinki
ngabouti
tmakesmesi
ck,
whenev
erIt
hink
abouthim al
umpfor
msinmythr
oat.
Ihav
en’
thear
dany
thi
ngf
rom Phet
hil
eorhermot
her
whi
chisunderst
andabl
etheyhav
elostt
hei
rsonand
Iam t
hecause.
Theymightnotknowthi
sbutmyhear
tknowsandI
am f
indi
ngitdi
ffi
cul
ttoevenl
ookt
hem i
ntheeye.
Tomorr
owIhavetogosi
gnmyschol
arshi
p
agr
eementorIwi
l
llosei
t.
Ihav
en’
tbeenokayaf
terhear
ingwhatmyauntpl
ans
todowi
thme.
Afterever
ythi
ngthatIhavebeenthroughsheplans
todot hesamethingherbrot
herdidtomysisterand
thatwasselli
ngher.
It
akerefugeinknowi
ngthatMt
hembugotshott
he
ni
ghtheleftt
hehouseandhasbeeni
nthehospi
tal
ev
erysince.
Igetupandhur
ri
edl
ymakemywayt
othebat
hroom
topuke.
Ist
ayonmykneescat chi
ngmybr
eat
heandwi
pemy
mouthaf
terIam done.
Igetonmyfeetandlookatmysel
fint
hemir
ror
somethi
ngi
sdef i
nit
elywr
ongandIneedt
ogotothe
cl
i
nic.
Ideci
detotakeaqui
ckcol
dshowerandmakeway
outbumpingint
oVumil
e.
Shel
ooksatmef
rom headt
otoe.
“
Mor
ningVumi
l
e”Isay
.
“
Ithoughty
ouwer
est
il
lasl
eep”shesay
s.
“
Wel
lIam not
”Isay
.
Shenodsherheadandf
oldsherar
ms.
“
Sowher
ear
eyougoi
ng”sheasks.
“
Tot
hecl
i
nicorImi
ghtj
ustdi
eint
hehouse”Isay
.
“Andjustl
i
keyoursist
erwewi
llbur
yyou”andmov
e
on”shesayswalki
ngpastme.
Isi
ghandwalkbacktomybedr
oom t
odayIam
goi
ngtoseeNqubeko.
Ihavesomucht
otel
lhi
m andassel
fi
shasi
t
soundsImi
sshi
m ev
ery
day.
Ichangeintoadr
essandapai
rofsneaker
swi
tha
denimjacket.
IgrabmypurseandIdPhet
hilesai
dtheydon’
tal
l
ow
bagsorphonesi
nsidet
heprison.
Iwal
koutandlockt
hedoorheadi
ngt
oAunt
Mart
ha’
sbedroom.
Iknockandmakemywayi nsi
de,
she’
ssi
tt
ingdown
faci
ngthemir
rordoi
nghermakeup.
“
Mor
ningAunt
y”Isay
.
“Morni
ngBay
edehowar
eyouf
eel
i
ngt
oday
”she
asks.
“
Iam st
il
lthesamebutIam headedt
othecl
i
nic”Il
i
e.
Sheshoot
smeal
ookandsi
ghs.
“
Okayt
akeal
lthet
imey
ouneed”shesay
s.
If
orceasmi
l
eandcl
oset
hedoorwal
ki
ngout
.
Ideci
deagainstgoingpastPhet
hil
e’
shouseand
headstr
aighttothetaxi
s.
Igett
othetaxi
rankandaskf
ort
het
axi
’
sthatgo
pastt
hepri
sonprecent
.
Al
thoughthewindowsareopenbutthedr
ivei
s
st
uffy
,Iopent
hewi ndowj
ustenoughfort
hecool
air
t
ogeti
n.
I
fIcoul
dIwouldst
ickmyheadoutbutt
henagai
n
t
hetaxi
dri
verwoul
dt el
lmewher
etogetoff
.
Irai
semyheadatt hefullyfencedprecentandgul
p
downsomeai r,
thi
splacei shighl
yguardedandby
thelookoft
hingsthatfenceisdeadly.
Thetaxi
comestoahaltandweal
lgetoutandmake
ourwayinsi
det
hepr
ison.
Wegothr
ought
wogat
esbef
orebei
ngf
ull
yinsi
de
t
hehal
l
.
Ihavenev
erbeenher
ebef
orebutt
her
ear
eal
ready
peopl
eseated.
“Al
lthoseyouhaven’
tputthei
rnamesdownpl
ease
comet hi
sway”oneoffi
cersays.
Iam t
hef
ir
stonet
ofol
l
owbehi
ndt
hepr
isonof
fi
cer
.
Ipr
ovidemyIdnumber
,homeaddr
essand
Nqubeko’
snameaswellhi
sSur
name.
“
Fir
stt
imev
isi
ti
ng”t
hemanasks.
“
Yes”Isaynoddi
ngmyhead.
“Icantell
,
youarenerv
ousbutdon’
twor
ryasy
oucan
seeprisonisharml
ess”hesay
shandi
ngmeback
myI dandsmi l
es.
“Youcangotakeyourseat,whenanotheroff
icer
call
soutthenameoft hepersonyouareheretosee
j
uststandupandgot hroughthatdoor”hesays.
Inodmyheadandwal
kbackt
othebench.
Il
ookupatthecl
ockandsi
ghseemsl
i
ket
her
e’s
al
readyagr
oupofvi
sit
orsi
nsi
de.
Thedooropensandamal
ewar
dermakeshi
swayt
o
ushol
dingali
st.
Hecall
soutaf
ewnamesandl
astcal
l
sout
Nqubeko’
s.
Isl
owlystandupandfol
l
owt heot
her
sthedoor
shutsasweareusher
edint
owhatseemsli
kea
changi
ngroom.
Ist
epi
ntooneandgetf
ri
skedal
lov
er.
“
Pleaset
akeof
fyourshoes”t
hewar
densay
s.
It
akeoffmyshoesandsockwhil
eshepi
ckst
hem
upandchecksf
oranyt
hingi
nsi
de.
“
You’
recl
earpl
easegot
hrough”shesay
s.
Iputonmyshoesandst
epoutf
oll
owi
ngot
her
vi
sit
ors.
It
’salonghallIl
ooktomysi deandseeotherv
isi
tor
s
seat
ed,apparent
lyt
heseprisoner
sarest
il
lwait
ing
fort
heout comeofthei
rtr
ial.
Il
ookaheadandseesomeoft
hev
isi
tor
sst
andi
ngi
n
ali
ne.
“Ohthisist
hetuckshopy oucanbuythem anything
somethingtheywi l
leat
,pref
erabl
ysomepi e,
jui
ce
andcigaret
testheyuset hattotr
adei
nside”thelady
i
nfrontofmesay s.
It
akeoutafewnot
esandbuyapackof
ci
gar
ett
es,
pieandj
uice.
Theshopi
sranbyapr
isoneraswel
lasaguar
d.
“
Thi
sway
”oneoft
heguar
dssay
s.
It
urnandt
akeaf
ewst
epsl
eadi
ngmet
othel
i
ght
.
Ther
ear
ebenchesandchai
rsal
lar
ound.
Myey
esr
unar
oundandIf
inal
l
yspotNqubekoi
n
oneoft
heol
dbenches.
Iwal
kov
ert
ohi
m andwat
chashegi
vesmeabl
ank
l
ook.
“
Hi”Isay
.
“
Bay
ede”t
hewor
dsl
eav
inghi
smout
har
ecol
d.
It
akeaseatseei
nghowr
elaxedhei
sandi
snot
i
ntendi
nggi
vi
ngmeahug.
If
eel
emot
ional
seei
nghi
m.
Ipl
acet
hethi
ngsIboughti
n-f
rontofhi
m andwi
pe
mytear
s.
“
Iboughty
out
hese”Isay
.
“
Thanky
oubuty
oushoul
dn’
thav
e”hesay
.
Helooksafewshadesli
ghtandtheorangej
umpsui
t
hugshisupperbodyj
ustt
herightway
.
Hiscol
l
ari
sr ai
sedupandhi
shai
risshav
edhel
ooks
goodandsexy.
“
Whatar
eyoudoi
ngher
eBay
ede”heasks.
“
NqubekoIcamet
oseey
ou,
Imi
ssy
ou”Isay
.
“Di
dn’
tPhet
hil
etel
lyout
hatIdon’
twanty
oucomi
ng
her
e”heasks.
Ev
ery
thi
ngabouthi
miscol
d.
“
Nqubekopl
ease”Isay
.
Myv
oicei
slowandshaky
.
“
Khet
hiweki
l
ledher
sel
f”Isay
.
“
IknowMatol
dmeandIam sor
ry”hesay
swi
thout
ahi
ntofemot
ioni
nhi
m.
“
Nqubekowhati
swr
ongwi
thy
ou”Iask.
“Itol
dyouBayedetoli
veyourli
feandst
ayaway
from t
hispl
ace,
Itol
dyoutomov eonandforget
aboutmey i
niongayi
zwangalapho”Heasks.
Iswal
l
owmysal
i
vaandl
ookar
oundt
henhi
m.
“
HambaBay
ede”hesay
s.
Myey
eswi
dent
hisi
snothowIpi
ctur
edmyv
isi
t.
“
Ourt
imei
snotup”Isay
.
Tear
sfi
l
lmyey
eswhenhegi
vesmeal
ook.
“
Bay
ede”hesay
ssof
tl
y.
Ibi
temyl
owerl
i
psandsmi
l
e.
“Iam si
gni
ngmyscholarshi
pagreementtomorr
ow
andaftert
hatIam goi
ngtoschool”It
ell
him.
“
Goodf
ocusonschool
andf
orgetaboutme”hesay
s.
It
ryr
eachi
ngf
orhi
shandbuther
etr
act
sit
s.
“
Nqubeko”Isay
.
“
LikeIsai
dgo”hesay
sst
andi
ngup.
“
Sboshwa”oneoft
hewar
densshout
s.
“
It
’sokayf
aderwear
edoneher
e”hesay
s.
“
SukumauhambeBay
ede”hesay
s.
Igetonmyfeetf
eel
i
ngli
kethebi
ggestf
ool
int
he
enti
rewor
ldandwal
kaway.

Gett
inghomeseemst obeast
ruggl
eIhav
ethis
bangingheadacheIcoul
dn’
tev
engopastthecl
ini
c.
If
indAuntMar
thaf
ini
shi
ngupwi
thwi
tht
hepot
s.
Igr
eetherandgr
abagl
assandpourmy
sel
fsome
water
.
“Howwasy ourcl
i
nicappoi
ntmentwhatdi
dthe
nursessay
”sheasks.
“Icouldn’
tgeti
nitwastooful
landIam hungryso
decidedtocomeback,Iwi
ll
got her
esomeot herday
”
Isay.
“Iwasabouttoplat
eforVumi
l
eandmy
sel
fshoul
dI
dishupforyou”sheasks.
“
Yespl
ease”Isay
.
Iwal
ktomybedr
oom t
otakeof
fmyshoesand
comebackt
ofi
ndmyfoodontheki
tchencount
er.
Igr
abaspoonandstar
teat
ingonet
hingt
hey
hav
en’
tbeendeny
ingmeisfood.
Iam gr
atef
ulf
orthatIl
ookatt
hegl
assofj
uicenext
tomethenthetap.
Apartofmei
scravi
ngbot hwat
erandjui
cebutI
gul
pdownthej
uicefi
rstandwalkovert
othesi
nk.
Iopenthetabandpoursomewaterbutnotbef
ore
spott
ingsomewhitesubst
ance.
Itakeanotherl
ookbutt
heglassi
snowfil
ledwit
h
somewat er,
Ipi
ckthegl
assupandlookunder
neath
butseenot
hing.
“Whatar
eyoul
ooki
ngfor
”AuntMartha’
svoi
ce
star
tl
esmeIal
mostdr
optheglass.
“Icoul
dhav
eswor
nIsawsomet
hingi
nthegl
ass”
I
say.
“
May
beIdi
dn’
tshaket
hebot
tl
ewel
l
”shesay
s.
“
May
be”Isay
.
Il
eav
ethegl
asst
her
eandcov
ermyf
ood.
“
Iwi
ll
justeatwhenIwakeup”Isayheadi
ngt
omy
r
oom.
It
hrowmyselfont
hebedandt
hinkbackt
omy
pr
isonv
isi
t.

Iwakeupsweat
ingandpaint
ingwi
thmyback
burni
ng,
Itr
yget
tingupbutsomepainshoot
s
thr
oughmyabdomenarea.
Il
etoutascr
eam andbr
eat
hebi
ti
ngmyl
i
p.
“
Aunt
y”Ishout
.
“
Vumi
l
e”Ishoutev
enl
ouder
.
Itakeoffmyjacketandscr
eam whent
hebur
ning
painshootst
hroughagain.
Ifal
lofft
hebedandpl
acemyhandonbackt
hen
bell
y.
“
Aunt
y”Iscr
eam.
Thedooropensandt
hel
i
ght
sgoon.
“
Aunt
ycal
lanambul
ance”Isay
.
Vi
mil
erushest
omyai
dbuthermot
herst
opsher
.
“
Myeke”AuntMar
thasay
s.
“
Mashe’
sbl
eedi
ngwhati
fshedi
es”Vumi
l
easks.
“Shewon’tdi
ethepi
l
lsar
ejustcl
eani
nghert
hat
’s
all
”shesays.
“
Mamawhatdi
dyoudo”Vumi
l
easksl
ooki
nghor
ri
d.
“Ngif
unaifelenj
aoyithwel
eIwantthatboytoknow
howi tf
eelstolosesomeoneyoucar eabout,
he
kil
l
edmybr ot
herri
ghtnowIam takinghischil
d”she
saysfoldi
ngherarms.
“
Mama”Vumi
l
esay
s.
“
Yeyshutupwena”AuntMar
thasay
s.
“Auntpl
easedon’tt
hist
ome”Isayseei
ngt
hebl
ood
betweenmythighs.
Vumi
l
emov
escl
oserbuthergr
absherherhai
r.
“Uphashi
sway i
niwenaVumi
l
ehuh”sheasks
pushingherout
.
Shewal
koutandcl
osest
hedoorl
ocki
ngi
t.
Icr
awlovert
othedoorandhi
titsohar
dscr
eami
ng
mylungsout
.
“
Vumi
l
epl
easehel
pme”Isay
.
Myscr
eamsar
elat
eroncount
eredbt
hel
oudmusi
c
t
hatpl
ays.
Ilayonthef
loorandshutmyeyesclenchingmy
j
awsbutnomat t
erhowhardItr
y,t
hepainr i
ppl
es
throughmeteasi
ngmeupt i
llIl
etoutsoftcri
es.
“
Iam sosor
ryNqubekoIdi
dn’
tknow”Isay
.
Thepai
nri
ppl
est
hroughmeasmyhear
tbeatspi
kes
upther
oof
.
Bay
edekeeper

#16

Iwakeupt
osomehummi
ngandopenmyey
es.
If
indVumi
l
enextt
omewi
thabucketandcl
oth.
Il
ookatthebl
oodandswal
l
owhar
dthi
sisr
eal
l
y
happeni
ng.
Il
ookatt
het
ear
scomi
ngoutofVumi
l
e’sey
esand
fr
own.
Icr
iedandbeggedal
lni
ghtaski
ngt
hem t
ohel
pme
buttheydi
dn’
t.
Ihav
ejustl
ostmybabyi
nthemostcr
uel
estwayal
l
al
one.
Onewil
lsayitwasj
ustacl
otandnot
hingmor
ethat
i
thadn’
tfor
med.
Buti
twasmybabyandshedi
dn’
thav
ether
ightt
o
dowhatshedi
d.
“
Iam sor
ry”Vumi
l
esay
s.
IfIcoul
dIwoul
dlaughbutIam t
ooshockedt
odo
anythi
ng.
“
Soyoul
etmescr
eam allni
ghtandthencomeher
e
t
ocl
eanasi
fnot
hinghappened”Iask.
Sher
aisesherey
esandl
ooksatme.
“Atl
easty
oudi
dn’
tgett
hehanger
”shesay
s
chuckl
i
ng.
I
t’
ssadchuckl
e,
shewi
peshert
ear
sandsmi
l
es.
“Iwas16wheni thappenedmyfir
stabort
ion,
she
call
edafri
endofhersandIwashel ddownwhilethe
womanpushedahangeri nsi
demeandtookoutmy
baby”shesays.
Thi
scomesasashockconsi
der
inghowcl
oseshei
s
tohermot
her
.
“Iwasonl
ysi
xteenBay
ede”shesay
scl
eani
ngupt
he
blood.
Iwantt
oscr
eam atherbutIam atal
ossofwor
ds.
“
Hear
ingy
ouscr
eam sol
oudandcr
ybr
okemyhear
t
i
ttookmebacktowhenIcriedandbeggedt
hem to
st
oppedandtheydi
dn’
t”shesaysnoddi
ngherhead.
“Lastni
ghtIf
oundmy selfprayi
ngforfor
givenessfor
whatIdidtoKhet
hiwe,Ididn’
tmeanforhert okil
l
hersel
fIdi
dn’
tmeant ohur therl
iket
hat”shesay s.
“
Buty
oudi
dVumi
l
eandy
ouki
l
ledher
”Isay
.
Sheswal
l
owshar
dandr
ubsherey
es.
“AndIwil
lnev
erforgi
vemysel
fforitandIhopet
hat
onedayyouwill
findi
tiny
ourhearttofor
giveme”
shesays.
“Mysist
erwasagoodper
sonVumile,
neveri
nherl
i
fe
hassheeverhur
tany
onebutpeopl
ehurther
.
Iwil
lnev
erf
orgi
vey
ouforhur
ti
ngmysist
erf
or
dri
vi
nghert
oedgei
nthemostpai
nful
wayever
”Isay
.
Herl
i
pst
rembl
eandshenodsherhead.
“
Iunder
stand”shesay
s.
“
Comel
etmehel
pyouup”shesay
s.
Yest
erdayIfel
tsomethi
ngpul
li
ngandt
eari
ngatmy
l
ini
ngitfel
tli
keneedl
eswerepoki
ngme.
Thi
nki
ngabouti
tbr
ingst
ear
stomyey
es.
“
Mymotherhat
edyourmot
herandherhat
redi
s
r
unni
ngdownonyou.
Youhaveagoodheadony ourshoul
derBay ede,
I
don’
tknowhowyouwi l
lsurv
ivethi
slossbecause
minemademeabi t
terandangryperson”shesays.
“Runandneverl
ookback”shesayshelpi
ngmesi
t
onthestool
butthedi
scomforti
sthere.
“
Iwi
l
lruny
ouabat
haf
tercl
eani
ngt
hisup”shesay
s.
Ipl
acemyonehandov
ermybel
l
yandwi
pemyt
ear
s
wit
htheot
her
.
“
Didheknow”sheasks.
Igi
veherabl
ankst
are.
“Theguyt
hati
mpr
egnat
edy
oudi
dheknow”she
asks
Ishakemyhead.
“Iguessy
ouwi
l
lhav
etocar
ryt
hisoneal
one”she
says.
Iwat
chhercl
eant
hef
loorandf
orsomer
easoni
t
seemslikeshe’
sfi
ght
ingherowndemonswi
theach
scrub.
ThedooropensandAuntMar
thawal
ksi
nandl
ooks
atVumil
eandfoldsherar
ms.
“Ngi
lambemi naVumil
e,awusukumelapho
uyongenzel
aukudlauy
ekeukungicasul
a”shesay
s.
“
Manott
odaypl
ease”Vumi
l
esay
s.
Hermot
herhuf
fsandwal
ksout
.
“
Whathappenedt
oyou”Iask.
“
Lif
e”shesay
sgoi
ngbackt
oherscr
ubbi
ng.
Shecl
eansthef
loorandhel
pstot
hebat
hroom,
Ifeel
weakandIam r
unningafev
er.
“
Aft
ersomepai
nki
l
ler
syouwi
l
lbef
ine”shesay
s.
Sheleav
esmeintheshowerandt
akesmybl
oodi
ed
cl
otheswit
hher
.
Iopenthetapandshutmyeyes,
youwouldt
hinkIam
al
loutoftearsbutt
hiswaspr
obabl
ytheheavi
est
bl
owIdon’ tknowwhattodowit
hmyself
.
Tel
l
ingpeopl
ewon’
tmakeadi
ff
erencet
hebabyi
s
gone.
Isl
owl
ysi
nkdownt
othecol
dti
l
eandcr
y.
Ithi
nkaboutmysi
ster
,t
hemostpreci
oussoulIhav
e
metandheavesi
ghthisi
sthedar
knessshespoke
about.

Iwashmy selfof
fthebl
oodbuti
magesofmysel
f
soakedi
ni tkeepfl
ashi
ngbef
oremyeyes.
Ican’
tgett
hest
enchofbl
oodf
rom mynost
ri
ls.
Igi
veupontry
ingandt
urnof
fthewat
erandst
ep
outoft
heshower.
Islowl
ymakemywaytomybedr
oom andf
inda
dressl
aidont
hebed
Idon’
tknowwhatmyscreamsdi
dtoVumi
l
ebutt
hey
defi
nit
elydi
dsomet
hing.
Shewal
ksi
nwi
thagl
assofwat
erandpi
l
lsi
nhand.
Il
ookatt
heglassandshakemyheadonce
bi
tt
en,
twi
ceshy.
Shet
akesonegul
poft
hewat
erandst
icksouther
t
ongueoutaf
ter
.
“
It
’snotspi
ked”shesay
s.
It
aket
hegl
assandpi
l
lsdr
inki
ngt
hem.
“
Shouti
fyouneedme”shesay
s.
Inodandwat
chasshegoesoutandshut
sthedoor
.
Iset
tl
eonthebedandr
eachformyphonecall
i
ng
Bandi
le,
Hepi
cksuponthef
ir
stri
ngtomyrel
ief
.
“
Yey
e”Hesay
ssof
tl
y.
“
Bhut
iBandi
l
e”Isayhol
dingmysni
ff
.
“
What
’swr
ongBay
edear
eyoucr
ying”heasks.
“Ineedapl
acet
ost
aypl
easecomeandgetme”I
say.
Hedeepl
ysi
ghsandIwai
tforhi
sresponse.
“
Iwi
l
lbet
her
einaf
ewhour
sokay
”hesay
s.
“Thankyou”Iendt
hecal
landl
ookar
oundar
ound
deeplysi
ghing.
Thi
sroom hol
dssomanybadmemor i
esasbeaut
if
ul
asi
t,
it
’swall
scancr
yari
verandst
il
ltel
lat
ale.
“
Vumi
l
e”Ishout
.
Thedooropensandshewal
ksi
nshut
ti
ngt
hedoor
behi
ndher.
“PleasehelpmepackIwoul
ddoi
tmy
sel
fbutIam
disori
ented”Isay
.
Shest
art
spacki
ngmycl
othesanddocument
s.
Iaskhertoputi
nKhethi
weandMymot
her
’s
pict
uresandshedoes.
“
All
done”shesay
s.
“
Thanky
ou”Isay
.
Hert
ear
sfi
l
lherey
esasshel
ooksatme.
“I
fyouev erf
indi ti
nyourheartt
oforgiv
emef or
whatIdidtoy ouandy oursi
sterpl
easecall
me,becauseaf t
erlastni
ghtIknowIwi l
lnev
erknow
peaceinmyl i
feunt i
lyousetmef r
ee”shesays
handingmeapi eceofpaperwithhernumbersoni
t.

Itr
iedsleepi
ngbutIcouldn’
tmyscr
eamswer ethe
onlythi
ngIcoul
dhearringingi
nmyear.Ihearsome
commoti
onandt
henal
oudbangasmydoorbur
st
open.
AuntMar
tharunsi
nfol
l
owi
ngBandi
l
e,hel
ooksatme
andfr
owns.
“
Whatdi
dyoudot
oher
”heasks.
“
Can’
tyouseesheneedst
hehospi
tal
”heasks.
“
Wedi
dnot
hingt
oher
”AuntMar
thasay
s.
Shei
sdr
unkherspeechandst
umbl
i
ngsay
sital
l
.
Vumi
l
egr
absmybagwhi
l
eBandi
l
ehel
psmeup.
“
Youar
ebur
ningup”hesay
s.
“
Thanky
ouf
orcomi
ng”Isay
.
“
Yahakahambev
elev
ezandl
ebendi
ni”
shebl
urt
sout
.
“Youarenot
hingbutaslutjustli
keyourdead
motherandsist
er,
youwill
nev eramounttoanyt
hing
Bayedemarkmywor ds”sheshout sl
oudenoughf or
ever
yonetohear,
“
WenaVumi
l
ejudasSkar
iotndi
ni”sheshout
s.
Wear
enowout
sidewi
thherf
oll
owi
ngbehi
ndus
maki
ngnoi
se.
It
urnandl
ookather
.
“YouarenotGodandnowor dyousayshal
lhavea
holdovermeormylif
e,onedayyouwil
ll
ookbackto
thi
stimeandwishyouhadbeenabetteraunt
.
Youwil
lwi
shy
ouhadn’
tpl
ayedar
olei
nmysi
ster
’s
deat
h.
Youwil
llookbackandt
hinkaboutmybabyt
heone
youki
l
led,youwil
ldi
easl
owpai nf
uldeat
hal
onewi
th
noonetohelpyou.
Youwil
lscream andbegli
keIdidandnoonewil
l
cometoy ourai
d,youwi
ll
praytoGodli
keIdi
dand
heshal
lturnhisbackonyoubecauseofmytear
s.
Iam notGodbutIpr
ayt
ohi
m andhewi
l
lanswerf
or
me”Isay.
“
Mxm j
ezabel
”shesay
s.
“
Goodl
uck”Vumi
l
esay
s.
Inodmyheadandgeti
nthecarIam gr
atef
ult
o
Bandi
l
eforcomi
ngtomyr escue.
Il
ookout
sidethewindowasthecardr
ivesof
fthi
sis
i
tmeleav
ingthehighwall
s.

.
..
..
..
..
.
Bay
ede’
skeeper

#17

NqubekoPhakat
hway
o

It
sfi
vei
nthemorningandal
readyev
ery
onei
sup
andmaki
ngthei
rbeds.
Thecel
li
sabitcr
owdedwel
li
tmakessensesi
ncei
t
acommunal
one.
Ther
e’snoroom tocomplai
nher eespeci
all
ywhen
youarenew,butoneofthewardenssaidIcoul
d
appl
yforasinglecel
li
fIchoosetostudy.
Ihaven’
tbeenherel
ongbutIam al
readyhavi
ngit
hard,
fi
rstni
ghtwasthewor
stIgotbeatenandthey
tookmywat ch.
Didn’
tcar
emuchaboutt
hebeat
ingIam amanIcan
takei
t.
Thef
ir
stf
ewweekswer
ehar
dst
il
li
sbutIam get
ti
ng
ahangoft
hings.

Asusualweli
neupandheadtotheshower
s,Iam
notusedtot
hiski
ndofl
i
fest
ylehavi
ngtoshower
thr
eetimesaweek.
Iam notusedt
oshower
ingwi
thot
herment
oobut
her
eIam doingit
.
Wef
ini
shupandheadbackt
oourcel
l
.
“
Awur
ingi
vel
e”oneoft
hei
nmat
esasks.
Ipaynoatt
enti
ontohi
m andl
ookatMal
ankane
l
ight
inghi
scigar
ett
e.
“Leav
echeeseboyalonehedoesn’
tspeakt
oany
one
butme”Malankanesays.
He’
sthet
all
estoneher
etal
l
ert
hanmeev
en.
“Soyouandcheeseboyar
efr
iendsv
ele”t
hei
nmat
e
asks.
Mal
ankanel
aughsandl
ooksatme.
“Awaziwenaphel
aIam theonewhohushedcheese
boytosleeponhi
sfi
rstnighther
e”hesay
spr
oudly.
“
Wat
chi
tMal
ankane”Isay
.
“SeeIgothimtot
alkj
ustnotwi
thy
ou”Mal
ankane
sayslaughi
ng.
Hegoesbackt
ochannel
i
nghi
sradi
otot
her
ight
st
ati
on.
Inev
eraskedhi
sst
orybuthe’
sbeent
her
eforme
si
nceIgother
e.
Hegothereaweekbefor
emebutact
sli
kehe’
sbeen
her
elongert
hanthat
.
Unl
i
kehi
m Ikeept
omy
sel
fandIl
i
kei
tthatway
.
Hegrabsthebroom andstar
tssweepi
ngj
oini
ng
ot
herinmatesastheycleant
hecell
.
Myf at
herwarnedmethatpr
isoni
sbrutalandI
guessIhadtoitwi
thmyowney estobeli
eveit
.
Hecri
edandIt ol
dhim Iwasgoingt
obeokaybutI
hadn’
texperi
encedpri
sonandnowt hatIhav
e,Iknow
hewastell
ingthetr
uthpri
sonishar
despeciall
y
whenyoudon’thavefri
ends.
“
li
neup”t
hewar
densay
s
Weal
lgetonourf
eetast
hecel
ldoor
sopenwi
de.
Ihavelear
nedthatbyt
hist
imet hecell
sneedtobe
cl
ean,bedsneedtobemadeandweneedt ohav e
beenshowered.I
t’
sseveno’
clockinthemor ni
ng
knownaswakeupcal lt
hefi
rstrol
lcallf
ortheday.
Thewar
denscheckt
hecel
landl
eadust
odi
ninghal
l
.
Weareser
vedpor
ri
dgeandj
uicet
hefoodithor
ri
ble
butl
i
keIsai
donemakesdowithwhatt
heyhave.
Il
ookatMal
ankaneandsi
ghhedoesn’
tli
ket
he
por
ri
dgeandal
wayshasdif
fi
cul
ti
esdur
ingbr
eakf
ast
.
Il
ooktomysideandcat
chsightoftheol
dman
l
ooki
ngatev
er yt
abl
easifi
nspecti
ngsomethi
ng.
Henevereat
swithotherpr
isoner
sIhear
dhehashi
s
owncellt
hathasevery
thi
ngheneeds.
Wef
ini
sheat
ingandheadbackt
oourcel
l
s.
IhavetwobooksthatIam r
eadi
ngIgott
hem f
rom
thepri
sonl
ibr
ary.
IfIam notoutsi
det
aki
ngt
hemuchneededst
rol
lI
am exerci
sing.
Malankanestandsupfr
om hist
hinmatt
ressand
get
st heket
tl
e,Iknowhewanttofi
ll
hisst
omach
wit
hsomet eajusttobeful
l
.
Hi
smotherdoesn’
tal
waysputdowntucksshop
moneyf
orhim si
nceshe’
sunempl
oyed.
It
osshi
m mykeyt
othel
ockerandsmi
l
e.
“
Twopacket
sofnoodl
esMal
akane”Isay
.
Hewhi
stl
esanddances.
“Imadether
ightchoi
cebef
ri
endi
ngy
oucheeseboy
”
hesays.
“
Justbr
ingbackmykey
”Isay
.
“
Nakanj
ani
,
cav
acheeseboyt
hat
anga”hesay
s.
Inodmyheadandgobacktoreadi
ngt
hebookLi
e
OnYourWoundsbyRober
tSobukwe.
Afewminut
esl
aterMalankaneset
tl
esnextt
ome
andpl
acest
hekeynexttomybed.
“
Whatisit
”Iask,
ther
e’salwayssomet
hingwi
th
Mal
ankaneitj
ustneverends.
Hecl
ear
shi
sthr
oatandr
ubshi
shandst
oget
her
.
“Iwasthi
nkwecouldgoout
sideot
heri
nmat
eshav
e
alr
eadygone”hesay
s.
Imighthaveforgot
tentomenti
ont
hathemightbe
tal
lbuthatesconfl
i
ctsandavoi
dswal
kingal
one
shoul
dt r
oublestar
t.
Icl
oset
hebookandpl
acei
tundermypi
l
low.
“
Let
’sgo”Isayl
eadi
ngt
heway
.
Hal
fwayint
oourwalktheshuf
fl
ingandhuf
fi
ngof
mencat
chesmyattent
ion.
“Cheesenodon’tdoitj
uststayoutofpeopl
e’
s
business”Mal
ankanesayslooki
ngaround.
Hi
swarni
ngfall
sondeafearasImakemywayt
o
t
hewherethenoisecomesf
rom.
Ifi
ndtheoldmanandanot
herpr
isonerchocki
nghi
m
todeath.
Itackl
etheot
herpri
sonerandgetont
opofhi
m
throwi
ngpunchaft
erpunch.
Theoldmancat
cheshi
sbr
eat
heandl
ooksatmeas
Igetup.
“
Fini
shhi
m”t
hemansay
s.
Myey
eswi
denIhav
enev
erki
l
ledamanbef
ore.
“
Fini
shhi
m of
forhecomesaf
tery
ouandki
l
lsy
ou”
t
heoldmansays.
Ilookatt
hemanandgivent
hechancehewi
l
l
retal
i
ateandcomeaf
terme.
Mylif
ewil
lbemadealivi
nghel
lMal
ankanewasr
ight
Ishoul
dhavej
ustgoneaboutmyway.
“
Twi
sthi
sneck”hecommands.
Ithi
nkaboutmyf i
rstnightinhereandthi
nkt wi
ce,
I
can’
texper
iencethatev eragai
neventhetreatment
atcl
ini
cwasj usti
nfer
ior .
Ihol
dhi
sheadandswal
l
owhar
dasIsnaphi
sneck.
“
Goodnowwal
kawayboy
”themansay
s.
Isl
owlystandupandwal
kawaybumpi
ngi
nto
Malankane.
Hegr
absmebymyar
mleadi
ngusbackt
oourcel
l
.
Thedaysgoeswit
hmepani
cki
ngt
hepr
isonwas
undershutdownf
oraf
ewhour
s.
Wor
disthataf
ighter
upt
edont
heot
herwi
ngandan
i
nmatedi
ed.
“Phakathwayo”Iopenmyey esandthepr
ison
governorhi
mselfisstandi
ngoutsi
deourcell
.
Al
li
nmat
esar
eont
hei
rfeet
.
Iqui
ckl
ygetonmymi
neandsl
i
ght
lybowmyhead
myhead.
“
Ineedawor
dwi
thy
ou”hesay
s.
Myhear
tracesIcouldbechar
gedwi
thanot
her
mur
derortakentothehol
e.
Ihavehear
dst or
iesaboutt
hehol
emenf
all
apar
t
becauseofthehole.
Ist
epout
sidemycel
landl
ookatt
hisman.
“
Wal
kwi
thhi
m boy
”hesay
s.
Westar
twalktotheol
dman’scel
landIknowf
or
sur
eIwil
lneverseet
heli
ghtev
eragai
n.
Hest
andsbyt
hedoorandcaut
ionsmet
owal
kin.
Thi
smanl i
vesonhi
sownwor
ldhei
sathi
sown
comfor
t.
I
t’
str
uewhattheysai
dabouthi
m hel
i
vesl
i
keaki
ng
y
ethe’
sinj
ail
.
“
Thanky
ouGov
ernor
”theol
dmansay
s.
He’
saboutmyfather
’sagel
ooksfami
l
iart
oo,
Ithi
nkI
haveseenandr
eadabouthi
mi nt
hepaper
s
somewhere.
“
Thi
syoungboysavedmyl
i
feMngomezul
u”t
he
mansay
schuckl
ing.
Ifi
ndi
toddthatamanwoul
dlaughaf
tersomeone
tr
iedt
okil
lhi
m.
“
Phakat
hway
ori
ght
”Inodmyhead.
Hegivesmeadisappr
ovi
ngl
ook,
onet
hat
i
nti
midatesme.
Iam al
readyshaki
ngl
ooki
ngatt
hismanandbei
ng
i
nhispresence.
“
Yessi
r”Isay
.
Hesmi
l
esandnodshi
shead.
“He’
safastl
eanerMngomezul
u,
didy
ouseet
hat
”he
asks.
TheGovernorchuckl
esandIsomehowf
eel
lef
tout
oft
hei
rjoke.
“Nowtel
lmewhati
sitt
hatwantasat
hanky
ou”he
asks.
“
Adoubl
ecel
landprotect
ion”Isay
,Iam doi
ngt
his
f
ormeandMalankane.
Hel
ooksatt
heGov
ernorwhonodshi
shead.
“
Consi
deri
tdoneMbomv
u”TheGov
ernorsay
s
wal
ki
ngaway.
“
Pleaset
akeaseat
”hesay
sst
il
lst
andi
ng.
“
Iwi
l
lwai
tfory
out
otakey
ourseatSkhul
u”Isay
.
Hesmi
l
eandt
akeshi
sseat
.
“Il
i
key ouPhakat
hway
oandIowey
oumyl
i
fe”he
says.
Ist
andr
oot
edandl
i
stent
ohi
m.
“
Tel
lmewhatbr
ingsy
out
othi
spl
ace”heasks.
“
Iki
l
ledaman”Isay
.
“
Noy
oudi
dn’
tsot
ryagai
n”hesay
s.
Icl
enchmyj
awsandcl
earmyt
hroat
.
“
Iam her
eforsomeoneIcar
eaboutdeepl
y”Isay
.
It
hinkaboutthecol
dnessIshowedt
owar
dsBay
ede
onhervi
sitandfeel
thi
sguil
tandpai
n.
“
Lov
eorcar
e”heasks.
“
Lov
e”Isay
.
Henodshi
sheadandhandsmemywat
ch.
“
Ihadsomeonebr
ingi
tbackf
ory
ou”hesay
s.
Ial
mostf
all
apar
tbuthol
dmy
sel
f.
“
Thanksy
ousomuchSkhul
u”Isay
.
Heshakeshi
shead.
“
Cal
lmeSomahhashi
”hesay
s.

7y
ear
slat
er.
..
..
.
Bay
ede’
skeeper

#18

Thedoortomyoffi
ceopensandTany
awalksin
smil
i
ng,shehasacupofsomethi
ngwit
hheranda
fi
l
e.
Mor
ningbossl
ady
”shesay
s.
Iwi
l
lnev
ergetusedt
othet
erm Bossyl
ady
.
“
Mor
ningTi
ana”Isay
.
“Beforeyousayanyt
hingthi
sisnotcof
feej
ust
chamomi leteaandt
hefinanci
alr
eport
syouasked
for”shesays.
“
Thanky
ouTi
ana”Isay
.
It
akesi
poft
hechamomi
l
eteaandsmi
l
e.
TanyaandIhadar
oughstar
tshewouldbri
ngme
coff
eeever
ymorni
ngal
thoughIt
oldherIdon’
tdr
ink
i
t.
“
Bef
oreIforgetyourbr
othercal
ledandaskedt
hat
y
oumustn’tforgety
ourlunchdate”shesay
s.
“
Thanky
ouTi
ana”Isay
.
“
Iguesst
hat
’smyquet
oleav
ethen”shesay
s.
Il
ookatt
het
imeandsi
ghBandi
l
eandal
way
s
want
ingt
omeetup.
Ir
eachf
orthepi
l
lsinmydrawerandpoponei
nthe
moutht
hendownitwi
thsometea.
Il
eav
eev eryt
hingasiti
sandheadoutwal
ki
ngpast
Ti
anafl
i
rtingwithMike.
I
fonl
ytheset
wowoul
dfuckandj
ustgeti
tov
erand
downwit
h.
Ever
yonei
stheof f
iceknowstheywantt
odoi
tthey
ar
ejustt
oochickentodoit,
“
Bossyl
ady
”shesay
scat
chi
ngsi
ghtofme.
“
Iam of
ftol
unchTi
ana”Ishout
.
“
Iwi
l
lcal
li
fyouar
eneeded”shesay
s.
It
urnandr
aisemyi
ndexf
ingershaki
ngmyhead.
“Pl
easedon’t,
lunchwi
thmybr
otheri
sal
way
s
depressi
ng”Isay.
Iwal
koutoft
heSpect
orI
ncbui
l
dingheadi
ngt
omy
car
.
Idr
iveofft
otherest
aur
antweplannedt
omeetat
whi
leplayi
ngsomemusictocal
m medown.

“
Itwast
hebadol
dday
s
Wher
ethewar
ri
orscameoutt
opl
ay
Wher
ethev
isi
tor
sout
stayt
hei
rwel
come
Aspi
rat
ionf
il
ledwi
thf
earanddoubt
Who'
stur
ntomaket
hemov
e
Who'
slef
tital
ltoy
ou
I
'
m noti
deal
insi
tuat
ionofconf
ront
ati
on
Idon'
tpr
efert
orai
semyv
oice
I
'
m st
il
ltr
appedbyt
hecagesofmyl
i
ps
Andy
ouhol
dthekey
Soal
l
owmet
obef
ree
I
t'
sbeen24y
ear
s
24y
ear
s
I
t'
sbeen24y
ear
s
24y
ear
s
24y
ear
s
Andy
ouknownow
Thatt
hewi
l
lowt
reeknowst
hesea
Youwi
thst
and
Don'
tyout
ryt
ogetunder'
causey
oucan'
tsetme
fr
ee
Andi
fyouknowwhatIsee
Iwoul
dli
ket
omeet
Butdon'
twor
ryabouty
oursoul
Don'
twor
ryabouty
oursoul
Iwas
Iwasj
ust
..
.
Iwasj
ustawal
l
flower
,
Ir
eachtherest
aurantandpar
kmycarinthel
otand
br
eathebef
oregrabbingmypurseandmaki
ngmy
wayoutoft
hecar .
Iwal
kinandspotBandi
l
eal
readyseat
ed,
hest
ands
upwhenheseesmeandsmiles.
“
Yey
e”hesay
sgi
vi
ngmehug.
“
Bhut
i”Isay
.
Webotht
akeitourseatandor
dersome
r
efr
eshment
s.
Amomentofsil
encel
i
nger
sbet
weent
het
woofus
t
il
lhecl
ear
shisthr
oat
.
“
Youl
ookgood”hesay
s.
“
Ifeel
good”Isay
.
Ihaven’
tfel
tgoodi
nal
ongt
imebutnowIdoandi
t
feel
sgood.
“Hav
ey oubeent
aki
ngy
ourmedi
cat
ion,
how’
swor
k”
heasks.
Inodmyheadandt
hatassur
eshi
m,Iseehi
m
br
eat
heoutdudeheasj
oki
nghi
sbr
eat
he.
“
WorkisgoodandyesIhav
ebeent
aki
ngmy
medi
cati
on”Isay
.
“
Good”hesay
swi
thawi
desmi
l
eofhi
sface.
“Sotel
lmewhenarey oucomi
ngtothehouseKenya
missesyouandThandohasbeenaski
ngaboutyou”
hesays.
Iknewhewoul
duset
hewi
feandchi
l
dcar
donme.
AfterwhathappenedtomeIreal
izedther
ewas
nothingkeepi
ngmehomeany mor e,
Bandi
legota
tr
ansf ert
ocomewor kinGaut
engandhet ookme
wit
hhi m.
Hehasn’
tdeser
tedmeandhaskeptt
ohi
spr
omi
ses
t
il
lthi
sday.
Hemetabeautif
ull
adybythenameofThando,
few
monthsdowntheli
netheygotmarr
iedandt
heynow
hav
eabeauti
fuldaught
erKenya.
“
ImissKeny at
ooandIwi
l
lcomef
etchherov
ert
he
weekend”Isay
.
Hedeepl
ysi
ghsandl
ooksatme.
“
Iam notpushi
ngyouIj
ustdon’
twantyoutospend
t
imeallal
onewhenyouhaveafamil
y”hesays.
“
Iam notal
one”Isay
.
Henodshi
sheadandhuf
fsgi
vi
ngi
tanot
hert
ry.
“
Iwasthinki
ngmay
bewecangodownhomeand
v
isi
t”hesays.
Ishouthi
m alook,
heofal
lpeopl
eknowst
hatt
her
e’s
nothi
nglef
tforusther
e.
ThePhakat
hwayol
ongl
eftt
hatsot
her
e’snot
hing
l
eftt
ogobackto.
“
Ther
e’snot
hingl
eftf
orust
her
e”Isay
.
“
Imeantt
ovi
sitt
hei
rgr
avesBay
ede”hesay
ssof
tl
y.
“
Idon’
twantt
ovi
sitt
hei
rgr
aves”Isay
.
“Yeyei
t’
sbeenseveny ear
sandyouhav
en’
tspoken
aboutwhathappened”hesays.
“Becausether
e’snot
hingtot
alkaboutIhav
ebeen
happyherewithyou,
ThandoandKenya”Isay.
“Youcan’
trunawayfr
om yourpastforeverBay
ede
andyoucan’tr
elyont
hosepil
lsfor
ev er”hesay
s.
“Seethi
siswhyInev erwantt
omeetwi t
hyoualone
becauseyoualwaysbringupthepast
,i
tcal
l
edthe
pastforareasonBhutisopl
easelett
hepastbe”I
say.
“
Iam sor
ryIdi
dn’
tmeant
oupsety
ou”hesay
s.
Ir
eachf
orhi
shandacr
osst
het
abl
eandsmi
l
e.
“Iam okayr
eal
l
ythesepasty
ear
shav
ebeengoodt
o
us”Isay.
HenodshisheadbutIcanreadhi
m he’
snotf
ull
y
conv
incedt
hatIam okay.
“I
sever
ythi
ngokayathomedoy
ouneedany
thi
ng”I
ask.
Hesmi
l
esshaki
nghi
shead.
“
NobutIwoul
dli
key
out
ocomet
odi
nner
”hesay
s.
InodmyheadandthankGodf
ort
hewai
tr
esst
hat
bri
ngsusourf
ood.
Lunchwi
thBandi
l
eal
way
sleav
esmeconf
li
cted.
AsmuchasIwantt
ospendt
imewi
tht
hem apar
tof
mecan’
t.
Theyar
enotmyf
ami
l
yandIdon’
twantt
ogett
oo
cl
ose.
Weeatandl
aughinbet
weenhi
mt ell
ingaboutKeny
a
andhowshel
oveshermeatmor
et hananythi
ng.

Idi
dn’tdr
ivest
raightt
ooffi
cei
nsteadhadal
oton
mymi ndsodecidedtofol
lowBandil
ebackt
ohis
houseandspendt i
mewi t
hKenya.
She’
ssuchabeaut
if
ulandbubbl
ychi
l
djustl
i
keher
mother
.
Ihadtoleavethoughandgetbackt otheof
fi
ceto
fi
nishuponmyf i
nancialr
eport
s,t
herewasagli
tch
thatneededfi
xingbeforetheboardmemberssi
t
down.
Il
ookatt
het
imeandi
t’
spastsev
enal
ready
.
Thedooropensandabouquetoff
lower
sfol
l
ows
peeks.
Asmi
l
egr
owsonmyf
acewhenLi
am wal
ksi
n.
“Li
feofanaccountant
”hesaysmovi
ngt
hef
lower
andshowinghishandsomeface.
“
Ifi
tisn’
tmrSpect
orhi
msel
f”Isay
.
Hewal
ksi
nandcl
osest
hedoorbehi
ndhi
m.
“
Hai
l
”hesay
ssmi
l
ing.
“
MrSpect
or”Isay
.
“MayIint
eresty
ouwi
thanof
fert
odi
newi
thme”he
asks.
“
Ist
haty
ouaski
ngmeout
”Iask.
Hechuckl
esandgi
vesmeasi
desmi
l
e.
“
Ift
hel
adypl
eases”hesay
s.
Ipackmyt
hingsandwal
kov
ert
ohi
m.
“
Thesear
efory
ou”hesay
s.
Ismi
l
ehooki
ngmyar
m ov
erhi
s.
“
Nocl
i
ent
stoday
”Iask.
Heshakeshi
shead.
“
Noj
usty
ouandme”hesay
sleadi
ngusout
.
.
..
..
..
..
.
Sponsor
ed
Bay
ede’
skeeper

#19

Li
am poursmeaglassofspar
kli
ngwat
erand
shakeshi
sheadsmili
ng.
“
Ist
il
lcan’
tbel
i
evet
haty
oudon’
tdr
ink”hesay
s.
“I
nallthesevenyearst
hatIhaveknowny ou,
Ihave
neverseenyoudrinkorsmell
edanyalcoholonyou”
hesaysproudly.
“Irememberhowyoutri
edt
ogetmedr
unkbutI
stoodmyground”Isay
.
Webot
hlaught
hinki
ngbackt
othememor
y.
“
Youwereninet
eenandIhadjusttakenyouony
our
f
ir
stev
erint
ernat
ional
tri
p”hesayslooki
ngatme.
“
Youwerebrokenandandfr
agi
l
eIhadnev
erbeen
t
hataf
rai
dinmyl i
fe”
hesay
sgiv
ingmeasadsmil
e.
“
Iwasj
ustagi
rlLi
am butnowIam gr
own”Isay
.
Hechuckl
esandr
eachesf
ormyhand.
Hesqueezesmyhandt
ightandsmi
l
esagai
nthat
sadsmil
e.
Thelastt
imehegavemeasmi
l
eli
ket
hishewas
goi
ngwayf oramonth.
“
Ineedt
otel
lyousomet
hing”hesay
s.
Inodmyheadl
ooki
ngi
ntohi
sey
es.
“
Imetsomeone”hesay
s.
Ial
mostchokeonmywat
erbutmaski
tof
fasme
cl
eari
ngmythroat
.
“
Oh”Isay
.
Suddenl
ymyt
hroatf
eel
scl
oggedup.
“
It
’snotthatdeepBayedebutshe’
sgr
eatandIwant
t
ogiveitatry”hesay
s.
Inodmyheadst
il
ll
ooki
ngathi
m.
“
Saysomet
hing”hesay
s.
“I
fyou’
rehappythenIam happyf
ory
ou”Isay
cl
eari
ngmyt hr
oat.
Therehaslastbeenchemi
str
yonadeeperlev
el
betweenthetwoofusbutweneverexpl
oredi
t.
“Youar
ebeauti
fulBayede,t
hemostthi
ngIhav
eev
er
seendon’
tyoueverforgetthat
”hesay
s.
“
Thanky
ouLi
am”Isay
.
Hecal
l
sfort
hewai
terandor
der
smyf
avor
it
ethen
hi
s.
Idon’
tknowhowt ofeel
aboutLi
am dat
ingwehav
e
knowneachothersi
nceIwasinvar
sit
y.
Imethi
m atav
erydarkt
imei nmyli
feev
enBandi
l
e
coul
dn’
tpul
lmeoutfr
om thatpl
ace.
He’
soldert
hanmebuthe’
sthehandsomeman,
wel
l
bui
l
tandisfi
t.
WhenIlostmyschol
arshi
pBandil
epaidf
ormyf i
rst
year
,hest
ruggl
edbuthetr
iedandpul
ledt
hrough.
ThenImetLi
am atagent
lemen’
scl
ubIhadbeen
l
ookingf
orajobasadancer.
Thecl
ubt
urnedoutt
obehi sandfr
om t
hatday
onwar
dswebecomeinseparabl
e.
HepaidformyfeesandhiredmeatSpector,
Iam
whoIam todaybecauseofthi
smanr i
ghthereand
notoncehasheeverwantedanyt
hinginret
urn.
Hi
sbrusheshishandov
ermi
nebr
ingi
ngmeback
f
rom mythoughts.
“
Arey
ouokayshoul
dwegohome”heasks.
He’
sal
way sbeensoftspokenandtr
eat
smel
i
ke
somet
hingthat
’sabouttobreak.
“
No,
l
etseatt
henwecangohome”Isay
.
Henodshi
sheadandgoesbackt
ohi
smeal
.
“Onsecondt hought
sIt
hinkIshoul
dgot
oZami
l
e’s
place”Isay
.
“
Ver
ywel
l
”hesay
s.

Wefinishedoutmealandhedrov
emetoZamil
e’
s
pl
ace,wehavestandi
ngoutforafewmi
nut
esnow
j
usttalki
ng.
“
That
’si
tthen”hesay
s.
“
Thanky
ouf
ort
her
ide”Isay
.
“
Iwi
llhaveyourcardel
i
ver
edf
ir
stt
hingi
nthe
mor
ning”hesays.
Hethenpul
l
smei ntohi
sar
m andgi
vemeahug
ki
ssi
ngmyf or
ehead.
Ii
nhalehi
sscentandr
estmyhandsonhi
sst
rong
chest
.
“
Cal
lme”hesay
s.
“
Iwi
l
l”Isay
.
Hepul
l
sawayandl
eanscl
osel
eani
ngf
oraki
ss.
Irespondandcl
osemyey
esashepar
tsmyl
i
psand
holdsmef i
rm.
Ihav
enevert
ast
edhisl
ipsbef
oreandt
heyar
esof
t
j
ustli
kehi
sbl
uegaze.
“
Goodby
eHai
l
”hesay
s.
That
’smyst agenameIst
il
lgetonst
ageoncei
na
whil
eforexclusi
vecl
i
ent
sonly.
Hepul
l
sawayandget
sint
hecardr
ivi
ngof
f.
Imakemywayi
nsi
deZami
l
e’spl
aceandknockon
thedoor
.
Sheopensupi
nherl
i
nger
ieandsmi
l
eswhenshe
seesme.
“Pract
ice”shesaysmovi
ngoutoft
hewayand
closesthedoorbehi
ndher.
“
Liam i
sseei
ngsomeone”Isaywal
ki
ngpast
.
“
Ohshi
twhat
”shesay
s.
Iset
tl
eont
hecouchandt
akeof
fmyshoes.
“Whatdoy
oumeanLi
am i
sseei
ngsomeone”she
asks.
“
Hesaidt
here’
ssomeoneandt
hati
t’
snewbuthe
want
stogi
veitatr
y”Isay
.
Shecomesbackwi
that
ubofi
cecr
eam andt
wo
spoons.
“ButIt
houghtyoutwowoul
dev
ent
ual
l
yyouknow
becomeat hi
ng”shesay
s.
“
Iguessnot
”Isay
.
Shegi
vesmeadi
sappr
ovi
ngl
ook.
“
Zami
l
eno”Isay
.
“
Maybei
tsti
meyoumoveonBayede,sev
enyear
sis
v
eryl
ongti
mewait
ingf
orsomeone”shesay
s.
“
Youdon’
tunder
standZami
l
e”Isay
.
Sheshakesherheadandchuckl
es.
“
Iunder
standver
ywel l
Bayede,
youar
elet
ti
nggoofa
manwhol ov
esyouamanwhowoul ddoanyt
hing
f
oryouforaghost”shesays.
“
Idi
dn’
treal
izeIf
eltl
i
ket
hisunt
il
lheut
ter
edt
hose
wor
ds”Isay
.
“
Iam sor
ry”shesay
s.
Ilookatthetubofi
cecr
eam andsuddenlyIam not
feeli
ngit
,Ij
ustwantt
ogohomeandsl eep.
Ir
eal
izeIdon’
thavemycarwit
hmesinceLi
am
dr
ovemef rom wor
ktot
herest
aur
ant
.
Aknockcomesthr
oughandZami
l
e’sf
ixesher
sel
f
get
ti
ngthedoor
.
“
Boss”shesay
s.
Li
am walksinandl
ooksatmegi
vi
ngmet
hat
mischi
evoussmil
esofhi
s.
“
Ireal
i
zedy
oudon’
thav
eyourcar
”hesay
s.
Il
ookatZami
l
ewhoshr
ugshershoul
der
s.
“Thanky
ouforthechatIwi
l
lcal
lyouwhenIget
home”Isaypi
ckingupmyshoes.
“
Any
time”shesay
s.

Li
am andIwalkt
othecardeepi
nthought
sfort
he
fi
rstt
imeeverwehav
enothingt
osaytoeachot
her
.
Heopensthedoorformeandwal
ksov
ert
ohi
ssi
de
andget
sindri
vingoff
.
“
Liam”Isay
.
“
Yes”hesay
ssof
tl
y.
“
Arey
ousur
eyouar
egoi
ngt
obehappy
”Iask.
Idon’
tknowwher
ethatcomesf
rom buti
t’
sout
ther
e.
“Idon’
tknow,
she’
snoty
oubutIam wi
l
li
ngt
otr
y”he
says.
I
t’
sabi
tt
erpi
l
ltoswal
l
owbutInodnonet
hel
ess.
“
Ihopeshemakesy
ouhappy
”Isay
.
“Whyisi
tthatwenev
erdat
ed”Iaskf
indi
ngt
he
cour
agetodoso.
“Youoncesaidthatifweev ercr
osst
hatlinewecan
nevergoback,
Icouldn’tunderst
andi
tfi
rstbutnowI
do”hesays.
Thecarcomesi
ntoahal
tandi
t’
sonl
ynowIr
eal
i
ze
wearehome.
Heki
l
lst
heengi
neanddeepl
ysi
ghs.
“
Youarest
il
lwai
ti
ngBay
edeandIcan’
twai
twi
th
y
ou”hesays.
“
Wil
lIl
osey
ou”Iaskbi
ti
ngmyl
i
p.
“
Me,
nev
er”hesay
schuckl
i
ng.
“
Ift
hat
’st
hecaset
henIam okay
”Isay
.
Webot
hst
epoutoft
hecarandshar
eahug.
“
Cal
lme”hesay
s.
Il
aughoutl
oudbecausehesai
dthesamet
hing
af
terdr
oppi
ngmeatZami l
e’
splace.
“
Iwi
l
l”Isay
.
Imakemywayi nsidemyplaceandt hr
owmyshoes
onthefloor
,Idon’tevenbot
herputti
ngont
hel
ight
s
andjustheadstraightt
omybedr oom.
Ipopt
wopi
l
lsandundr
essget
ti
ngundert
hecov
ers.

.
..
..
..
..
.
Bay
ede’
skeeper

#20

It
’sbeenaweeknowandIhav
ebeenseei
ngl
ess
andlessofLi
am.
He’sreal
lygoi
ngall
outwit
hthi
srelat
ionshi
pand
alt
houghapartofmeissadanotherparti
shappy
thatf
inal
lyhehassomeonetol
ovehim
wholeheart
edl
y.
Il
ookatmysel
finthemir
rorandsmil
e.maybe
Zami
leisr
ight
,Ihav
ebeenwaiti
ngforaghostofa
man.
Idon’
tknowwhenorifIwil
lev
erseehi
m agai
nori
f
he’
sali
vewher
everheis.
Ihavel
ovedNqubekoal
lmylif
ebutIam af
rai
dI
mightj
usthav
etolethi
m go.
Ihavebeenfai
thf
ult
ohi
m all
theseyearsbecausea
partofmehasbeenhol
dingt
ousf i
ndingourwayto
eachother
.
Butthetr
uthi
sIhavebeenfool
ingmysel
fwai
ti
ngfor
thi
sman.Ihavebeenl
etti
ngli
fepassmebybecause
ofthatman.
Isl
ipi
ntomybl
ackdr
essandredbot
tom bl
ackheel
s
andgr
abmybagheadingout
.
Idri
vetothecl
ubandmakemywayi
nsi
det
hrough
theback.
Zamilewavesherhandsi
gnal
i
ngmet
ocomeov
ert
o
herchangi
ngroom.
Sheopenst
hedoorandl
eadsmei
n.
“
She’
sthi
rt
eenort
wel
ve”Zami
l
esay
s.
Il
ookatthey
ounggi r
lwear
ingt
heshor
testleat
her
ski
rtIhav
eeverseenandamatchi
ngcr
opt op.
“It
oldherwedon’thir
ey oungki
dsandchasedher
outbutminutesl
aterJoshbroughtheri
nbecause
shewasf oundwalki
ngwi t
hastrangemantohis
car”Zamil
esaysdeeplysighi
ng.
Li
ttl
emissthi
nglooksatmewi
thherar
msf
olded
herandherchewi
nggum.
Il
ookatherandshakemyheadonepai
nful
thr
ust
andt
hatat
ti
tudewoul
dbewi
pedof
fherf
ace.
“Youar
ethemot
herher
esopl
easedeal
wit
hher
”
Zamil
esays.
“
What
’sy
ourname”Iask.
Shepopst
hegum andr
oll
sherey
es.
“
Sihl
e”shesay
s.
Ipl
acemybagont
hecouchandset
tl
enextt
oher
.
“
Whyar
eyouher
e”Iask.
Shel
ooksatmeandsay
snot
hing.
“I
fyoudon’
ttal
ktomethenIhav
enochoi
cebutt
o
cal
lthepol
i
ce”Isayst
andi
ngup.
“
Ineedaj
ob”
shesay
slooki
ngatme.
“
Youar
etooy oungtobelooki
ngf
oraj
obshoul
dn’
t
y
oubeinschool”Iask.
“MamasaysIam toodumbforschool
andt
hatI
shoul
dlookf
orajob”shesay
ssoftl
y.
Il
ookaroundZamil
e’
sroom andspotamagazi
ne
andhanditt
oher.
“
Findapageandi
treadi
toutl
oud”Isay
.
Shereadsapassagebeaut
if
ull
ywi
thoutany
st
utt
eringorst
umbli
ngonherwords.
Il
ookatt
hef
adi
ngbeat
ingmar
ksonhert
highsand
si
gh.
“
Doesy
ourmot
herhi
tyou”Iask.
Shepul
l
sdownhershor
tski
rtandshakesherhead.
“
OnlywhenIasktogot
oschool
andmakea
mist
ake”shesay
s.
Inodmyheadt
hinki
ngbackt
owhenmyf
atherused
tobeatme.
“
Doesy
ourf
atherknowt
his”Iask.
“Babawor
kshar
dandmamaal waysshoutsathi
m
soIdon’
twantt
ost
resshi
m out”shesays.
ThedooropensandZami
l
ewal
ksi
nlooki
ngr
eady
fort
henight
.
“
Sorrytodist
urbbutyourshowi
saboutt
ost
artasi
n
r
ightnow”shesays.
“
Pleasest
andi
nformeIneedt
odeal
wit
hthi
sfi
rst
”
Isay
.
“
Bay
edet
hisi
snotl
i
keanyot
herexcl
usi
ve”
shesay
s.
“
Whatdoy
oumean”Iask.
“
Theguybookedt
oseet
hegr
eatHai
l
”shesay
s
l
aughi
ng.
Il
ookatSihl
eandseemysel
finher
,scaredandl
ost
notknowi
ngwhattodoorwhototurnto.
“
Well
tel
lhi
mthegreatHai
li
sbusyandi
fhewant
s
t
oseeashowthenhewil
lwait
”Isay
.
“
Okay
”Zami
l
esay
swal
ki
ngout
.
“
Let
’sgety
ouhome”Isay
.
Shequi
ckl
yshakesherheadast
ear
sfi
l
lherey
es.
“
Sisipl
easeuzongi
shay
aumamai
fIcomebackwi
th
astr
anger”shesay
s.
Myhear
tbr
eakshear
ingherpl
eadl
i
ket
his.
“Iwon’
ttel
lherany
thi
ngIwi
l
ljustdr
opy
ouhome”I
say.
Thedr
ivet
oherhomeisinqui
sit
iveshel
i
ght
sup
wit
heachanswert
hatIgi
veher.
Shedi
rect
smetoherhouseanddeepl
ysi
ghswhenI
par
koutsi
det
hegate.
Igi
vehermynumberandsmi
l
elooki
ngather
beaut
if
ulf
ace.
“
Ify
ouev
erneedany
thi
ngcal
lmeokay
”
Shenodst
aki
ngt
hepi
eceofpaper
.
Amalef
igur
ewal
ksupt
othecarandknocksont
he
wi
ndow.
Si
hlewal
ksoutandhugshim,shehur
ri
esi
nsi
det
he
housewhi
let
hemanl ooksatme.
Hi
sey esar
eki
ndandsof
t,
hepol
i
tel
ygr
eet
smeand
smi
les.
“Idon’
tknowwhereyougotherbutthankyouf or
bri
ngingherhome,
excusethewayshe’sdressedshe
normall
ydoesn’
tdr
esslikethi
s”hesays.
“
Mynamei
sVusi
,
Sihl
e’
sfat
her
”hesay
s.
“
Pleasegeti
n”Isay
.
Hel
ooksatmeshockedbutget
sinst
il
l.
“Iam j
ustastr
angerandIdon’
tmeant osti
ckmy
headinyourbusi
ness,
butImetyourdaughterata
gentl
emen’scl
ublooki
ngforajob.
Youbabydaughteri
sdressedl i
kethatbecauseshe
waslookingf
orajob,
Idon’tknowmanyt hi
ngsbutI
knowsheshouldbeinschool study
inginst
eadof
l
ookingforaj
ob.
Ihaveaf eel
ingthepersonshesai dishermot heri
s
herstepmot her,y
oumi ghtnotbeli
ev et
hisbuty our
daught erisbeingabusedanddeni edthechancet o
beinschool .It
’suptoy ouwhaty oudowi t
ht his
i
nformat ionbutIsuggesty out
alkt ohermakeher
tr
usty ouandopenupt oy oubeforeit’
stoolate”I
cl
earmyt hr
oatfrom br
eakingint
oacr y.
“
Yourchi
l
dneedsy
out
rustmeIknow”Isay
.
“Ihavehadt
hisnaggi
ngfeel
ingthatshe’
snothersel
f
anymoreandIpusheditt
othebackofmyhead, I
didn’
tmeantofai
lher
”hesay s.
“
Youhav
en’
tfai
l
edhery
et”Isay
.
Hebr
eat
hesheav
il
yandcl
ear
shi
sthr
oat
.
“
Thanky
ou”hesay
sst
eppi
ngoutoft
hecar
.

Inodmyheadandwatchashewal
ksi
nsi
det
he
houseanddr
ivesof
f.

*
He’
sst
il
lher
e*
At
extf
rom Zami
l
ecomest
hrough.

Ilookformyanxi
etypi
ll
sbutcan’
tseem t
ofi
nd
them,Ial
mostl
osecontrol
ofthecarandhol
dthe
steer
ingwheelst
eadi
ly
.
Martha’
swor dsri
nginmyheadshecal l
edmean
i
ll
egiti
mat echil
d,atfi
rstIdidn’
tthi
nkmuchofi
tbut
overtheyearsIhav en’tbeenabletost
opmysel
f
fr
om thinkingaboutit.
Whati
fther
e’ssometr
uthi
nherst
atementwhati
f
t
hatmanwasn’tmyfat
her.
Ipar
koutsi
det
hecl
ubandmakemywayi
nsi
de
headi
ngt
omychangi
ngr
oom.
Ichangei
ntoar
eveal
i
ngl
i
nger
ieandwearmymask.
Bei
ngHai
lev
enj
ustf
oradayf
reesmesomehow.
I
nthatmomentIam notBay
edet
heOr
phan,
Iam j
ust
t
heladyi
nthemask.
Iwal
ktot
heshowroom andfi
ndmycl
iental
ready
seat
edwi
thagl
assofscotchi
nhi
shand.
Theenergyinroom i
sdiff
erentIhavedi
nnedwit
h
powerful
manbef orebutthi
sonecommandst he
room aswellasmyattent
ionwithoutev
ensayi
nga
wordorturni
ngtolookatme.
Helookswell
builtunderthatsui
tit
’shol
dinghi
m
t
ighti
nallt
herightplaces.
He’sal
onemeaninghe’smoneyedIonl
ydo
excl
usi
vedancesforpower
fulmanandIguesshe’
s
onepowerf
ulman.
Ist
andi
nthemi
ddl
eoft
hesmal
lst
ageandt
urnon
somesof
tmusi
c.
Heturnsandl
ooksatmest
andi
ngupf
rom wher
eis
heseated.
Iadmirehi
sphy
siqueandhi
ghtsomucht
omy
arousal
.
Thethingaboutt
heseexcl
usi
vedancesi
sthatmy
cl
ientstoowearmasksfort
hei
rownprot
ecti
onas
wellasmine.
Heset
tl
esontheonecouchf
aci
ngmehi
slegs
spr
eadapar
t.
Ist
artmovi
ngsl
owl
ychannel
i
ngmyi
nnerMer
li
n
Manroe.
Heclear
shi
sthr
oatandtakeof
fhi
ssui
tjacket
r
oll
i
nguphisshi
rtsl
eeves.
Iwatchashedoesthi
sslowl
yandgoesbackt
o
rest
inghi
swholebodyonthecouch.
Imissast
epbutheswi
ftl
ygetonhisfeetand
cat
chesmebefor
eIfal
lof
fthestage.
“
Easynow”hesay
ssof
tl
y.
Hisbol
dvoi
cecausest
remor
sImel
tinhi
sst
rong
hold
“
Arey
ouokay
”heasks.
Inodmyheadandst
andupst
rai
ght
.

.
..
..
..
..
..
Bay
ede’
skeeper

#21

Ipourmy
sel
fanot
hergl
assofor
angej
uiceand
smil
e.
I
t’
saweekendandLi
am askedt
otakemeoutt
oday
.
HeknowsIam usual
l
yalonesinceIdon’
tgoto
Bandi
l
e’spl
aceoft
enandjustenjoybei
ngal
onein
myownspace.
Il
ookattheskyandsmi leagai
nsomehowtheday
seemstobejusttoday
,theskyiscl
earbl
uewi
thalot
ofhappywhi
teclouds.
Il
ookatLi
am’
sbeaut
if
uley
esl
ooki
ngatmeand
smil
e.
“
OkaynowIam get
ti
ngwor
ri
ed”hesay
s.
“
Wel
ldon’
tbe”It
ell
him.
“
Ihav
enev
erseeny
out
hishappy
”hesay
s.
“
Promi
senott
obeangr
y”Isay
.
Het
il
tshi
sheadandgi
vesmeabl
ankl
ook.
Li
am canbescr
ayatt
imesbutIknowhowt
owor
k
hi
m.
“
Liam pr
omi
semet
obeangr
y”Isaysmi
l
ing.
“
Thosedi
mpl
eswon’
twor
k”hesay
s.
Igetonmyfeetandmovear
oundt
ohi
sseatand
hughimfr
om behind.
Iki
sshi
scheekandhol
dhi
mti
ght
.
“
Sti
l
lnotwor
king”Iask.
“
Bay
edewhatdi
dyoudo”heasks.
“Rememberthatcl
ientwehadthatot
herni
ght
,he’
s
comingbacktodayandIam exci
tedt
oseehim”I
say.
Hi
sbodyt
enseupandIki
sshischeekonemor
e
t
imeandr
estmyheadonhisback.
“Theresomethingabouthim Icannotexpl
ainsas
muchasIdon’ tmixbusinesswithpleasur
ebutwith
him Iwantt
ocr ossthatl
ine”Isay.
Hecl
ear
shi
sthr
oat
.
“Ist
il
ldon’
tunder
standwhyy oudancef
ort
hese
menwheny ouhaveev er
ythi
ng,
whenIcangi
veyou
ever
ythi
ng”hesaysinasternvoi
ce.
“YouknowIlovedancingi
tmakesmefeeli
ncont
rol
ofever
ythi
ngthathappensi
nthatr
oom”Isay.
He’
snev
erl
i
kedmedanci
ngf
orot
hermannotone
bi
t.
“Andbesidemydanci
ngdoesn’
taffectmydayjob,
I
sti
ll
kickassasanaccount
antyouofallpeopl
e
knowt hat
”Isayhesi
ghsandholdsmyhand
bri
ngingmet osi
tonhisl
ap.
“
Tel
lmeaboutt
hisguy
”hesay
shol
dingmyhand.
“Wel
lthat
’st
hethi
ng,
Idon’
tknowmuchabouthi
m
andIwanttoknowmore”Isay
.
Asmi
l
egr
owsonhi
sli
ps.
“
Soy
ouar
enotmad”Iask.
“
All
Iev
erwanti
stoseey
ouhappyBay
ede”hesay
s.
Igi
vehi
m ahugandcl
osemyey
eshol
dinghi
m
t
ight
er.
“
Ilov
eyouandt
hanky
ouf
orev
ery
thi
ng”Isay
.
“
Ilov
eyout
ooBay
ede”hesay
s.
If
ixhi
sshi
rtwhi
l
ehehol
dsmywai
st.
“
Youar
ehandsomemrSpect
or”Isay
.
Hechuckl
esandshakeshi
shead.
“Gobacktoyourseatbef
orepeopl
ecal
lthemor
al
pol
iceonus”hesays.
Igetbackt
omyseatandl
ookathi
m.
“
Sowhathappensi
fthi
sguyi
smar
ri
ed”heasks.
“
ThenIwill
wal
kawayf rom hi
m andbesi
deIdon’
t
t
hinkIwantar
elat
ionshi
pyet”Isay
.
Hechuckl
esandl
ooksatme.
“
Whathappensi
fyoubecomemorethanjustwhat
y
ouwantandhetell
syoutost
opdancing”hesays.
“
Itwon’
tgett
othatt
rustme”Isay
.
Henodshi
sheadandhuf
fs.
Thedaygoesonbeaut
if
ull
ywi
thLi
am andIpar
ti
ng
ways.
Idr
ivest
rai
ghtt
oZamil
e’
splacewehaven’
tspoken
al
lweekendandImi
ssoursi
ll
ychat
s.
Iper
sist
ent
lyknockont
hedoorbutt
her
e’sno
answer.
“
Zami
l
e”Ical
lout
.
It
urnthehandl
eandthedoorjustopens,
Imakemy
wayinsi
deseei
ngtr
acesofbloodont hefl
oor
.
Ileav
ethedooropenj
usti
ncaseIneedt
omakea
runfori
t.
Isl
owlyf
oll
owthebl
oodtrai
ltot
hebathr
oom and
fi
ndZamil
elay
ingonthef
loorwi
thherhandsonher
abdomen.
She’
scurl
edupandbr
eat
hingheav
il
ysuppr
essi
ng
thepai
n.
“
Zami
l
e”Isayr
ushi
ngt
oher
.
“
Letmecal
lanambul
ance”Isay
.
Sheshakesherheadandhol
dsmyhandt
ight
.
“No,
don’
tcall
anambul
ance”shesay
sthr
ough
gri
tt
edteet
h.
“Thepai
nisgoingawaynowIj
ustneedamoment
”
shesayscasual
ly.
Iswal
l
owt
heai
ronmyt
hroatandhel
pherst
andup.
“
Thanky
ou”shesay
s.
Inodmyheadandwalkout
,t
hisi
snott
hef
ir
stt
ime
Zamil
ehasdonet
his.
Ithinkt
hisishert
hir
difnotsecondabort
ionandit
alwaysleavesmeguttedthatshewouldrat
hergo
throughthepaint
hanjusthavethebaby.
Apartfr
om herdanci
ngZamil
eli
kest
ooffermor
e
serv
icestothesemanandsomeofthem hat
e
condoms.
Ir
unherabat
handwal
koutheadi
ngt
othel
ounge.
Shetakesawhil
eandcomesoutwi
thabucketi
n
handtocleant
hefl
oor
.
Shemopsthestai
nedpartsandwalksbackt
othe
bat
hroom t
aki
ngawhil
e,Isupposecleani
ngt
hefl
oor
.
Memori
esofVumil
ecleani
ngmymesscomet
o
mi
ndthememoriesar
est i
l
lvi
vi
d.
“
Zami
l
eIt
hinkIshoul
d”Ishoutst
andi
ngup.
Shewal
ksi
nthel
oungeandf
ixesherr
obe.
Shef
oldsherar
msandsi
ghsl
ooki
ngatme.
“
Youar
ejudgi
ngmeagai
n”shesay
s.
“NoZami l
e,
Iam notj
udgingy
ouIj
ustdon’t
underst
andwhyy oukeepdoi
ngt
histoyoursel
f”I
say.
“
That’
sjudgi
ngmeBay edebutyoudon’
tseeme
j
udgi
ngy ouf
orhavi
ngaf ancyj
obandsti
ll
str
ippi
ng
f
orri
chmanatnight”shesays.
“Li
keIsai
dZami leIam notjudgi
ngyouandIt
hinkI
shoul
dleavebeforewebot hsaysomethi
ngwe
mightr
egret”Isay.
“Andther
eyougobeingper
fectandcalm asal
ways
whenweal l
knowyouareunstabl
eandthatthose
pil
lsar
etheonl
ythi
ngkeepi
ngy ousane”shesays.
Thatst
ri
kesaner
vebutIgi
veherabl
ankl
ook.
“Idon’tknowwher ethi
siscomingfr
om butIwon’
t
takeittoheartclear
lyy
ouaregoingthr
ough
somet hing”Isayheadi
ngfort
hedoor.
Shechuckl
es.
“YounowwhatBay edeIam gladLiam f
inall
yfound
someonewhoappr eci
ateshi
m, Iam act
uallygl
adhe
sawthroughyourwait
ingbul
lshitanddecidedto
l
eaveyou”shesays.
It
urnandl
ookather
.
“
Zami
l
edoy
ouwantLi
am”Iask.
Herhesi
tat
ionsay
sital
l
.
“NobutIam gladhe’
snotwi t
hy oubecausehe
deserv
esmor ethanyourpil
lpoppingsel
fandl
etme
tel
lyouthatguyyouhavebeenwai ti
ngfori
snever
comingbackdeal wi
thitandmov eon”shesays.
Inodmyheadandsi
gh.
“I
t’
sclearthi
swholethingisaboutLiam andIwi
l
ltel
l
youthis,
whateverl
i
ttl
ecrushy ouhaveonhim
squashitbecausehewi l
lneverbeyours.
It
houghty
ouwer
eaf
ri
endZami
l
ebutnowIseey
ou
beenwai
ti
ngf
ort
her
ightoppor
tuni
tyt
otakej
absat
me”Isay
.
“Iwasn’
ttaki
ngjabsatyouBayedejustreminding
youthatyounotperf
ectyouj
ustli
ket herestofus”
shesayssmili
ng.
“WellIdon’tneedfr
iendswhowi
l
l r
emindmethatI
am perfectwhenIknowIam not
,goodby
eZamile”I
saywal ki
ngout .

Iwal
koutoft
hebuildi
ngsti
ll
conf
usedashel
lIdon’
t
knowwhatj
usthappened.
hadIknownt
hiswoul
dhappenIwoul
dn’
thav
ecome.
She’
sthecl
osestf
emal
eIhaveapartfr
om Thando
andIdi
dn’
tthi
nkshet
houghtal
lthosethi
ngsabout
me.
Idr
ivest
rai
ghtt
oBandi
l
e’shouse.
“
Yey
e”Keny
asay
srunni
ngt
owar
dsme.
ShehugsandlegsandIhappi
l
ypi
ckherupt
hrowi
ng
heri
ntheai
r.
“Yeye”shegi
ggl
escl
osi
ngherey
eswhenshecomes
crashi
nginmyarms.
Ihol
dhert
ightandpul
lawayl
ooki
ngatherpar
ent
s.
“
Iwi
l
lfi
xyouapl
ate”Thandosay
s.
“
Thanky
ou”Isay
.
Shesmi
l
esandwal
kst
otheki
tchen.
Igi
veBandi
l
eahugwi
thKeny
ast
il
li
nmyar
ms.
“
What
’swr
ong”heasks.
“
Not
hingIj
ustmi
ssedmybi
gbr
othat
’sal
l
”Isay
.
Asmi
l
espr
eadsacr
osshi
sli
ps.
“
Iam gl
ady
oumi
ssme”hesay
s.
Il
ookatKeny
agot
hroughmybagandsmi
l
e.
Ithinkaboutthei
mpossibl
emychi
ldwouldhav
e
beensi xandsheprobabl
ywoul
dhavehadher
father’
sfeat
ures.
Ifeelasof
thandonmycheekandl
ookatKeny
a’s
toothl
esssmil
e.
Bay
ede’
skeeper

#22

Ihaven’
theardfr
om Zami
leandIthi
nkt
hat’sforthe
best,
IdoubtIwantt
ohearanyt
hingf
rom hergoing
for
ward.
Ihavebeensobusyatworkt
hatIhav
en’
thadt
ime
tothi
nkofanyt
hingel
se.
Ther
e’sanewcl
i
entcomi
ngi
nandIneedt
obeat
mybest.
ThedooropensandTi
anaf
oll
owedbyLi
am wal
kin.
“Bossyl
adyt
hebi
gbossi
sher
etoseey
ou”Ti
ana
says.
“
Thanky
ouTi
ana”Isay
.
Li
am l
ooksatTi
anawhobl
ushes.
“
Cany
oubr
ingmesomecof
fee”Li
am asks.
Ti
anasmi
l
es.
“
Yessi
r”shesay
swal
ki
ngout
.
“Keepthatcharmlockeduppl easeIdon’
twant
Tianagoingcrazyoveryou”Isay.
Helaughsandthr
owshi
sheadbackhandi
ngmet
he
Ngubanefi
le.
Il
ookattheNgubaneConst
ruct
ionf
il
eandsighwe
havenev
erhadsuchahighprof
il
ecl
ientbef
ore.
Apartf
rom owni
ngaconst
ruct
ioncompanyhei
sa
for
merjudge.
Ihav
ereadaboutt
hismanandhe’
snotsqueaky
cl
ean.
Wellal
lthet
hingsIhav
ehear
dhav
ebeenr
uledout
asnothi
ngbutrumors.
“
Thi
nky
oucanhandl
ethei
rbooks”heasks.
“
Itmi
ghtt
akeawhi
l
ebutIcanhandl
eit
”Isay
.
“Goodbecausehe’
sint
heboar
droom wai
ti
ngf
orus”
Liam say
s.
“
Okayl
etsdot
his”Isayst
andi
ngup.
Igr
abmyf
il
esandwal
koutwi
thLi
am f
oll
owi
ng
behi
ndme.
Webumbi
ntoTi
anaandl
augh.
“
Bri
ngt
hatt
otheboar
droom wehav
ecl
i
ent
s”Isay
.
“
YesMam”shesay
s.

Li
am openst
heboar
droom door
.
“
Ladi
esf
ir
st”hesay
s.
Iwal
kinf
ir
stwi
thhi
m besi
deme.
“MrNgubane”Li
am say
sgi
vi
ngt
hismana
handshake.
“
MrSpect
ort
hanky
ouf
orseei
ngus”hesay
s.
“
Thi
sismysonNet
haNgubane”hesay
s.
“
Pleasetomeetyouthi
sismyt
rust
edoneBay
ede
Mhlongo”Li
am say
s.
Iext
endmyhandandgi
vebot
hgent
lemena
handshake.
Weal
ltakeourseat
sandst
artt
alki
ngbusi
ness.
Ist
eal
glancesatbot
hoft
hem whi
l
etheygot
hrough
t
hei
rfi
l
es.
Theyar
ebot
hrespect
abl
eandi
nti
midat
ingatt
he
sameti
me.
Li
am hassomuchf
ait
hinmeIhopeIdon’
t
di
sappoi
nthi
m.
“
LikeIsai
donthephoneLi
am IneedsomeoneIcan
t
rust”MrNgubanesay
s.
“Andli
keItol
dyouBheki
zi
zweshe’soneofmybeat
employeesandt
rust
wort
hytoo”Li
am say
s.
“
Verywel
lwhencany
oust
art
”MrNgubaneasks
l
ooki
ngatme.
“
Assoonasy
ouneedmet
oosi
r”Isay
.
“Idon’tt
hinkt
hisi
sagoodi
deababatohav
eour
businesshandl
edbyawoman”Nethat
hesonsay
s
l
ookingatme.
Heresembl
eshi
sfat
hert
heybot
hhav
efaded
di
mples.
“
Net
ha”
MrNgubani
war
ns
Thesonst
andsupandat
temptwal
ki
ngaway
.
“
Net
hasi
tdown”hi
sfat
hersay
s.
Il
ookatLi
am whowar
nsmenott
osayany
thi
ng.
Net
hast
opsonhi
str
ackandl
ookathi
sfat
her
.
“
Ngi
thehl
alaphansi
Net
ha”hewar
ns.
“Mbomvu”
Nethasaysacknowl
edgi
nghi
sfat
herand
get
ti
ngbackhischai
r.
Wecarr
yontal
ki
ngbusi
nesswi
thMrNgubane
har
dlyt
aki
nghi
seyesof
fme.
Hecl
ear
shi
sthr
oatandsmi
l
es.
“
Yousai
dyournamei
sBay
eder
ight
”heasks.
“
Yessi
r,
ist
her
eapr
obl
em”Iask.
“Notatal
lj
ustmaki
ngsur
eIgoty
ournamecor
rect
”
hesays.

Themeetingranl atewithmeaski
ngquesti
onsthat
seemedtoirri
tateNet ha,
he’
sashandsomeashis
arr
ogantandIhav ecomet ol
ear
nthathi
sfat
hercan
puthi
mi nhisplace.
Tomorr
owIam goi
ngtohav
eal
ookatt
hei
rbooks
andseewher
eIcanhel
p.
Idot
helastt
ouchestomymakeupandwearmy
maskheadi
ngtotheshowr
oom.
Thisist
het
hir
dti
meIam seei
ngt
hisguyandhe
excit
esmeeacht
ime.
Todayhe’
sweari
ngnav
yfor
mal
pant
swi
thacr
isp
whit
eshir
trol
l
edup.
Ist
artthemusicandstar
tdanci
ngwit
hease,
Ican’
t
seehisfacebuthi
seyesmov ewit
hhi
m.
Heplacesthegl
asshehasi
nhi
shandandpat
shi
s
l
aplookingatme.
“
Arey
ougoi
ngt
omakewai
t”heasks.
Hi
svoi
cecommandsme.
Ihavenev
erbeencl
oseandper
sonal
wit
hacl
i
ent
befor
e.
Igetof
fst
ageandswaymyhi
pswal
ki
ngupt
ohi
m.
Hestandsupandturnsmear
oundgr
abbi
ngmy
wai
stpull
ingbackt
ohim.
Heleanscl
osesocl
oseIf
eel
hisbr
eat
heonmy
neck.
“
MayIt
ast
eyourl
i
ps”
heaskswhi
sper
ingi
nmyear
.
Inodmyheadswal
l
owi
nghar
d.
“
Ican’
theary
ou”hesay
ski
ssi
ngmyneck.
Itur
nandlookathi
m br
eat
hingheav
il
ypl
aci
ngmy
handsonhischest
.
“
Youonl
yli
veonceBay
ede”Ichantt
omy
sel
f.
“
Askmeagai
n”Isay
.
“
MayIt
ast
eyourl
i
ps”hesay
s.
“
Yes”Isay
.
Heli
ft
smeupandmyl
egsst
raddl
ehi
mthi
smani
s
st
rongandIl
i
kei
t.
Hisl
ipsmeetmi
necausi
ngbl
oodt
orusht
hroughmy
vei
ns.
Hepull
sawaybutIpul
lhi
m backi
nandki
sshi
m
agai
n.
Het
akeschar
geoft
heki
ssandsqueezesmyar
se.
Thi
ngsgethotandst
eamyIf
eel
mycl
i
tthr
obbi
ng.
Irubmysel
fonhi
m whenIf
eel
him gr
owhar
d
under
neat
hme.
“
Fuckme”t
hewor
dsl
eav
emymout
hsocal
l
ousl
y
Hedeepenst
henkissandspanksmesohar
dI
wi
nceandgetexci
tedatthesameti
me.
“
Fuckme”Isayl
ooki
ngathi
m.
”
Ican’
t”hesay
sfol
l
owedbyagr
unt
.
Heput
smedownandcat
cheshi
sbr
eat
he.
Il
ookathi
shar
donandfeel
mycl
i
tachef
orbadI
wantt
ositont
opofhi
m.
“
Arey
oumar
ri
ed”Iask.
“
No”
hesay
s.
Ipushhim backonthecouchandgodownonmy
kneesgoingforhi
sbelt
.
Ipul
ldownhispantsandr
eachf
orhi
shugecor
kst
il
l
l
ookingi
ntohiseyes.
Imassagehi
scockandpul
ldownhi
sbr
ief
slet
ti
ng
hi
sbeaut
if
ulbl
ackcor
kspr
ungf
ree.
Il
i
ckmyl i
psandbl
owsomeai
ronhi
shar
dful
l
y
er
ectcock.
Hisbr
eathi
nghi
tcheswhenmyt
onguel
i
ckst
het
op
ofhi
sd*ck.
Hetr
embleswhenIf
ull
ytakehi
minandmassage
hi
sball
sgoi
ngupanddown.
Iusemyt ongueandswi
rli
tar
oundt
hesensi
ti
vet
op
partofhi
scock.
Hegrabsmyweav eandpushesmef
urt
herdown
gr
oaningandcussi
ng.
Iusemyhandandmout
htogoupanddownonhi
m.
Hecussesonelastt
imeandexpl
odeshi
scum
shoot
ingst
rai
ghttomyboobs.
Hepul
l
smeupandgi
vesmeki
ss.

.
..
..
..
..
.
Bay
ede’
skeeper

#23

I
t’
saSundayt
odayandIam spendi
ngt
imewi
tht
he
f
amil
y.
Ilef
tworkl
astni ghtandheadedst
rai
ghtt
oBandi
le’
s
houseIdon’tknowwhybuteacht i
meIspendwit
h
thatmanfrom theclub.
Iendupmi ssi
ngtheli
tt
lefamil
ythatIhav
e,t
imewith
him makesmer eal
i
zethatIneedandwantmor e.
Iam t
ir
edofbei
ngal
oneandspendi
ngt
imeal
one
l
ikeIam someol
dspi
nst
er.
Iwokeupear
lyandcooked,
somet
hingIdon’
t
nor
mall
ydowhenIam around.
Mylif
eissohorr
ibl
ethatIl
i
veont
akeout
s,ener
gy
dr
inksandpi
ll
s.
Keny
alooksatmeaspoponepi
l
linmymout
h.
“
Ngi
phe”shesay
sgi
vi
ngmeherhand.
Ismil
eatheri
nnocenceandreachf
orthegummy
sweatsi
nmypocketandgivethem t
oher.
“
Thanky
ou”shesay
srest
ingherheadonmyl
ap.
Herpar
ent
sjoi
nusgi
ggl
i
ngandl
aughi
ngl
i
keki
ds.
Ipi
ckKeny
aupandpl
aceheronmyl
ap.
“
Whyar
eyout
wot
hishappy
”Iaskl
ooki
ngatt
hem.
“
Wel
lwehav
enewst
otel
lyout
wo”t
heybot
hsay
.
Thandoisgl
owi
nghersmi
l
eisj
ustbeaut
if
uland
contagi
ous.
“
OkaynowIam get
ti
ngwor
ri
ed”Isay
.
“
Nopl
easedon’
tbei
t’
sgoodnews”Thandosay
s.
“SoIwassickawhil
ebackandyourbr
otherdeci
ded
totakemetoadoctorandwefoundoutthatIam
pregnant
”shesay
s.
Ial
mostdr
opKeny
awhi
l
est
andi
ngup.
“
Sor
rybaby
”Isayl
aughi
ng.
Ipl
aceherdownandgi
vebot
hoft
hem ahug.
“
Congr
atul
ati
onsIam goi
ngt
obeaauntagai
n”Isay
.
Bandi
l
elooksatmeandsi
ghs.
“
Yey
eyouknowt
hatIl
ovey
our
ight
”Inodmyhead.
“Butwhatyoudon’
tknowisthatyoumeanthewor
ld
tousandwewoul dli
kei
tifyoubecamethe
godmotheragai
n”hesayscatchi
ngmeoffguar
d.
“Youarealr
eadyKeny
a’sgodmotherandyouar e
famil
yitonl
ymakessense,
ifanyt
hingeverhappens
touswewanty outol
ookafterourki
ds”Thando
says.
“
Thanky
oufortr
ust
ingmeagai
nIpr
omi
seIwon’
tlet
y
oudown”Isay
.
Il
ookataconf
usedKeny
aandl
augh.
“
Keny
a”shel
ooksatmeandt
il
tsherhead.
“Mommyishavinganotherbaby
,youar
egoi
ngt
obe
someone’
ssi
ster”Isay
.
“
ButIdon’
twantanewbaby
”shesay
sfr
owni
ng.
“
Keny
a”hermot
hersay
s.
Shel
ooksatmeandsul
ks.
“
Yey
eIdon’
twantt
obeasi
ster
”shesay
scr
ying.
Iknewki
dsar
edr
amat
icbutt
hisonet
akest
hecup.

I
t’
sbeendaysandIhav
en’
tseenorhear
dfr
om t
he
myst
eryman.
Il
i
ketheseencount
erssomucht
hatIputmor
e
ef
for
tint
omydanceandwear.
Thi
nkingabouthi
m excit
esmeandal t
houghI
haven’
tseenhim Iam f
ull
ybookedbyhim andonl
y
hi
m.
Themansmellsgoodandhelookswel
lkeptIwant
tor
eapthatmaskoffhi
sfaceandseehi
strue
i
denti
ty.
“
Wipet
hatsmi
l
eof
fyourf
ace”Li
am say
s.
Il
aughandt
hrowmyheadbackl
ooki
ngathi
m.
“Thel
astIsawyout
hishappyKeny
awasbor
n”he
saysmakinghi
swayin.
It
hinkbacktowhenl
it
tl
eKenyawasbor
nandsmi
l
e
ev
enmor ethi
nki
ngaboutt
henewbabyont
heway,
Igetonmyf
eetandwal
kov
ert
oLi
am andl
ookat
hi
m.
“Thanky ouf
orevery
thi
ngImightnotsayi
t
everyt
hingbutIappr
eci
atey
ou”Itellhi
m.
Hesmi
l
esshut
ti
nghi
sey
es.
“
Lookatme”Isay
.
Helooksatmeandl
eanscl
oseandki
ssesmy
cheeks.
.
“
It
’sgoodt
oseey
out
hishappyBay
ede”hesay
s.
“
Arey
our
eadyf
ort
hemeet
ing”heasks.
Inodmyheadandgr
abmyt
hingsandwal
kout
fol
lowi
nghi
m.

Wedrivet
oNgubaneconst
ruct
ionandgetpast
secur
it
ypeacef
ull
yget
ti
ngi
n.
Li
am deci
dedt
ohav
eisdr
iverdr
iverhaher
e.
AsmuchasIam exci
tedaboutt
hiswhol
ebusi
ness
butIam abi
twor
ri
edtoo.
Ther
ear
esomanyl
oophol
esi
nthei
rbooksmoney
t
hatdoesn’
taddupmoneyt
hatr
andoml
yendsupi
n
t
hebooks.
Idi
dn’twantt
osayt
hist
oLi
am butbasi
cal
l
ythese
peopl
ewantustocookt
hei
rbooksfort
hem whi
ch
i
sfraud.
Liam l
eadsthewayaswemakeoutwayi
nsi
det
he
thei
rbuil
ding.
Theirsecr
etar
yleadsust
othet
hei
rboar
droom and
off
ersrefr
eshments.
Li
am andIstandupwhenMrNgubaneandNet ha
wal
kindressedinexpensi
vesui
tsl
ooki
nggood.
Il
ikethi
sfat
herduot
hinggoi
ngont
hemot
hermust
beproud.
“
Sor
ryt
okeepy
ouwai
ti
ng”
Net
hasay
s.
“
Wej
ustgother
e”Isay
.
Henodshi
sheadt
aki
nghi
sseatnextt
ohi
sfat
her
.
“
Bay
ede”MrNgubanesay
s.
“
MrNgubane”Isay
.
Hechuckl
esandl
ooksatLi
am.
“Wehadal
ookatyourbooksandt
her
e’sal
ott
hat
needst
obedone”Li
am says.
“Ineedt olookatyourf
inanci
alrecordsfort
hepast
fi
vey earsandseewhatIam wor kingwithbecause
quitefranklysomeamount sdon’taddup”Isay.
Net
hachuckl
esandshakehi
shead.
“Kahl
eNet
hal
ett
hey
oungl
adyspeak”MrNgubane
says.
“ImightbeyoungbutIam notst
upi
dy oucametous
becauseyoutrustLi
am andhetr
ustsme,basi
cal
l
y
youwantust ocookyourbooksandkeepyououtof
troubl
e”Isay
“Isuspectmoneylaunderi
ngnotthatIam sayi
ng
youareintomoneylaunderingt
hatwouldbean
accusati
onandslanderinitown”Isayst
il
l l
ookat
Netha.
MrNgubanel
aughsandl
ookatLi
am.
“
NowIseewhyy
out
rusthert
hismuch”hesay
s.
Hecl
ear
shi
sthr
oatandl
ooksatt
het
ime.
“
Maywest
art
”Iask.
“Wearest
il
lwai
ti
ngforonemoreper
sonmyr
ight
handman”MrNgubanesays.
Inody
ourheadl
ooki
ngatanot
herf
il
eont
het
abl
e.
Thedooropensandshut
swhi
l
eIf
ixmygl
asses.
“Somahhashi
”Irecogni
zet
hev
oicef
rom myl
ate
nightr
endezv
ous.
Irai
semyheadandl
ookt
othedoor
,t
heglasssl
i
ps
fr
om hi
shandwhenhi
seyesl
andonmine.
Ifeel
mychestcl
osei
nandhol
dont
ightt
oLi
am’
s
hand.
“
Bay
ede”hesay
s.
Il
ookathim astearsf
il
lmyey
esi
t’
shappeni
ngand
i
t’
shappeningfast.
“
Ican’
tbr
eat
heLi
am Ican’
tbr
eat
he”Isayhol
ding
mychest
.
“
Wher
ear
eyoupi
l
ls”heasks.
Ishakemyheadasmychestbur
nsupandi
tfeel
s
l
ikeIam aboutt
odi
e.
“
Cal
lanambul
ance”Li
am shout
s.
Bay
ede’
skeeper

#24

Iam atthehospi
talandthedoct
orhasbeenaski
ng
meendl esquest
ionsaboutmymedi cat
ionheev
en
drewbloodtoruntestsonthem.
ThedooropensandBandi
l
ewal
ksi
nfol
l
owedby
Thabdo.
“
Yourpupi
l
sar
edi
l
ated”t
hedoct
orsay
s.
“
Howmanyofthesedoyout
ake”heasksshowi
ng
meabot
tl
eofpainki
l
ler
s.
“
Idon’
tknowmay
beoneort
wo”Isay
.
Thedoct
orl
ooksatmeandnodshi
shead.
“
Iwoul
dli
ketohaveyourdoctor
snumbertodi
scuss
y
ourmedi
cinepr
escr
ipti
on”thedoct
orsay
s.
“
Idon’
tknowmydoct
orsnumberbyhead”Isay
.
“
It
’sokaydoct
orIknowi
t”Bandi
l
esay
slooki
ngat
me.
“
Pleasef
oll
owmet omyoff
ice”Bandil
ewal
ksout
wi
ththedoctorl
eav
ingmewithThando.
“
Bay
edewhat
’sgoi
ngon”Thandoasks.
“
Not
hingIj
usthadanat
tack”Isay
.
“
Thatl
andedy
oui
nthehospi
tal
”shesay
s.
Bandi
l
ewal
ksi
nandcl
osest
hedoorbehi
ndhi
m.
Hegi
vesmeaconcer
nedl
ookandsi
ghs.
“
Isawhi
m”hesay
slooki
ngatme.
“Whenwewalkedinhewasst
andi
ngwi
tht
wo
gent
lemen”hecont
inues.
“
Idon’
twantt
otal
kabouthi
m”Isay
.
“Well
youdobecausehe’
sher
eandhet
ri
gger
edy
our
att
ack”hesay
ssoftl
y.
“
Ijustwantt
ogohome”Isay
.
“RememberwhatIt
oldyouaboutt
hepastand
havi
ngtodeal
withi
t”hesays.
“
Bandi
l
epl
easet
hisi
snott
het
ime”Thandosay
s.
“I
fBayededoesn’
tdealwi
ththepastshewi
l
lforever
havetheseset
backsandatt
acksandshewil
lnever
heal
.
I
t’sbeensevenyearsandshedoesn’twantto
remember,sheshut
sev er
yoneoutbecauseshe
fear
sthatshewilll
osethem l
ikeshelostherf
ami
l
y”
heshouts.
“
Bandi
l
e”Thandoshout
s.
“Whydoy outhi
nkshedoesn’
tspendmoret i
mewi t
h
ushuh,whydon’
tyouaskyoursel
fwhyshe’salways
fi
ndexcusesanddist
anceshersel
ffr
om us”Bandi
l
e
asks.
“
BecauseIam afr
aidt
haty
ouaregoi
ngtol
eaveme
l
i
kethatal
ldi
d,nowcanyoutakemehome”Isay
.
Thandohol
dmyhandsandl
ooki
ngatherhusband.
“I
t’
sherpastt
odeal
withnoty
ourssopl
easel
ether
bedon’
tpushher
”Thandosays.
“Bayedehav
eyoubeentaki
ngmorepi
l
lsthanthose
prescri
bedt
oyou”heasksnowi
nasofterandcalm
tone.
It
widdl
emyt
humpsandshr
ugmyshoul
der
s.
“
Arey
ouaaddi
ctBay
ede”heasks.
“
No”Isay
.
Hedeepl
ysi
ghsandget
smybag.
“
Asambeni
”hesay
slooki
ngatThando.
ThandoandIf
oll
owbehi
ndhi
m andbumpi
ntoMr
NgubaneandLi
am.
Li
am r
ushest
omeandhol
dsmei
nhi
sar
ms.
Iwr
apmyar
msar
oundhi
swai
standbr
eat
he.
“
Don’
tev
erscar
emel
i
ket
hatev
eragai
n”hesay
s.
“
Iam sor
ry”Isay
.
“Don’
tbesor
ry”hesay
sput t
inghi
shandsonmy
cheekandki
ssesmyforehead.
“Iwi
l
l comebyt
hehouselat
erokay”Inodmyhead
andlookatMrNgubaneandsmil
e.
“
Iam sor
rysi
r”Isay
.
Hehol
dsmyhandandsmi
l
es.
“
It
’sokayLi
am t
oldmeev
ery
thi
ngIhopey
ouget
bet
ter
”hesay
s.
“
Thanky
ou”Isay
Hel
et’
sgoofmyhandandst
epsaway
.
Li
am gi
vesmeanot
herhugpoormani
spet
ri
fi
ed.
“
Ilov
eyou”hewhi
sper
s.
“
Ilov
eyout
oo”Isay
.
Hepul
lsawayandl
ookatmewi
thhi
sbl
uebeaut
if
ul
ey
es.
“Ishoul
dgobef
oremybr
otherdr
agsmeoutofher
e”
Isay.
“
Okay
”hesay
slet
ti
nggo.
Iwal
koutf
oll
owi
ngBandi
l
eandThandot
othecar
.
Icat
chagli
mpseofPhakat
hway
oandNet
hal
eani
ng
agai
nstt
hecarsmoki
ng.
Ihurryt
othecarbef
oret
heycat
chawhi
ffofme
star
ingatthen.
Igeti
nthecarandlookout
sidet
hewi
ndowas
Bandi
ledr
ivesoff
.
Hel
ooksdi
ff
erentol
der
,mat
uredandmor
epol
i
shed.
Idi
dn’tknowhewasoutofpri
sondi
dn’tevenknow
heknewt heNgubane’
sort
hatheat
tendeda
gent
lemen’scl
ub.
Thi
sisnothowIpi
ctur
edmeet
inghi
m agai
n.
Ihavesosomanyquest
ionr
unni
ngt
hroughmy
mind.
“
He’
shandsome”Thandosay
s.
“
Huh”Isay
.
Shel
aughsshaki
ngherhead.
“Iwasrefer
ri
ngt
oyourmanhe’shandsomewell
bothyourmenarehandsome”shesay
slaughi
ng
evenharder.
If
indmy
sel
flaughi
ngwi
thBandi
l
ejoi
ningi
n.
“
Isi
tMr
sSpect
ororPhakat
hway
o”sheasks.
“
Ipref
erPhakathway
o,st
handwasam t
hei
rlov
ewas
j
ustbeaut
if
ulandpure”Bandi
l
esaysheav
ingasi
gh.
Il
istent
othem debat
eaboutwhoi
sbestf
orme
betweenPhakat
hwayoandLiam.
Ithi
nkbacktogothecl
ubandsighImi
ghtbe
gull
i
blebutNqubekoi
sachangedman.

.
..
.

NqubekoPhakat
hway
o

Thedri
vebackt
othehouseisqui
etIcan’
twr
apmy
headar
oundwhatj
usthappened.
IhaveneverseenSomahhashi
thi
swor
ri
edandi
t
tr
oublesme.
Thi
smanhasdonesomuchformeaf
tersav
inghi
s
l
if
ehewentont
otakemeunderhi
swing.
Hewasn’ti
npri
sonforl
ongl
ikeIsai
dthatmanwas
l
iv
ingl
ikeakingandhemadesureIl
ivedl
ikeonet
oo.
Hiski
ndnesscamewithter
msandhardteachi
ngs,
I
becamehisfi
xeranddi
dgoodi
nthatdepartment
.
Hepulledafewstr
ingsf
rom t
het
opandIwas
r
eleasedfr
om pr
ison.
Ihavebeenl
oyal
tothi
smansi
ncet
hatni
ghtI
murderedamanforhi
m.
Herol
lst
hewi
ndowanddeepl
ysi
ghscl
ear
inghi
s
t
hroat
.
“
Ist
hather
”Heasksl
ooki
ngatme.
Inodmyhead.
“
She’
sbeaut
if
ul”hesay
s.
“Li
am seemstobever
yfondofherIwonderi
fthey
aredati
ng”hesay
s.
Il
ookathi
m andr
aisemyey
ebr
ow.
“
Iwasj
ustsay
ingNqubeko”hesay
s.
Icl
enchmyj
awthi
nkingbacktot
hathospit
alscene
andhowhehel
dherhandthr
oughoutherpani
c
att
ack.
“AwushoNqubekodoy ouknowany
thi
ngaboutt
his
gir
l’
sparent
s”heasks.
Il
ookatMbomv uandsi
ghInev
erreal
lywenti
nto
det
ail
saboutwhoIwasprot
ect
ingandwhy.
“
Hermot
herdi
edwhenshewas10andherf
ather
wasmurderedwhenshewas18, Il
aterl
earnedthat
sheal
solosthersi
sterwhenIwasinprison”Isay
thi
nki
ngbacktohowcol dIwastowardsher.
Shelookedbrokenandi
npainwhenshet
oldme
aboutKhethi
webutIchasedheraway
.
“
Shehadasi
ster
”heasks.
“
Yesbutsheki
l
ledher
sel
f”Isay
.
Hedeepl
ysi
ghsandl
ooksout
sidet
hewi
ndow.
“
Ngabekonkekuhambakahl
eMbomv
u”Iask.
Hef
lashesmeasmi
l
eandnodshi
shead.
Thecarpar
ksout
sidehi
sdr
iveway
.
“
Aren’
tyoucomi
ngi
n”heasks.
“
Ther
e’ssomet
hingt
hatIneedt
otakecar
eof
f”Isay
.
“
Ver
ywel
l
”hesay
sst
eppi
ngoutoft
hecar
.
Ii
nst
ructt
hedr
ivet
oasIl
aymyheadback.
“
Wear
eher
esi
r”t
hedr
iversay
s.
Il
ookatt
het
ime.
“
YoumaygoIwi
l
lcal
lwhenIneedy
ou”Isay
.
Ist
epoutt
othecarandmakemywayi
nsi
det
hei
r
house.
Iknockont
hedoort
il
lIhearf
oot
stepsont
heot
her
si
deofthedoor
.
Thedooropenswi
thBay
edehol
dingababygi
rlon
herhi
p.
“
Bay
ede”Isay
.
Hermout
hdr
opsopenandherey
esf
il
lwi
tht
ear
s.
“
Sawubona”Isay
.

.
..
..
..
..
.
Bay
ede’
skeeper

#25

Il
ookatthi
snewNqubekosi
tt
ingi
nfr
ontofmeandI
don’
tknowwhatt
odoorsay.
Whatdoesonesayi
nsuchsi
tuat
ionst
helastIsaw
hi
m hechasedmeawayandtol
dmet oneverl
ook
back.
ButIdi
dlookbackandi
tst
ungsobadbutst
il
lIhel
d
on.
HelooksgoodsohandsomeIwanttofl
i
ngintohi
s
armsandtel
lhi
m ever
ythi
ngt
hatIhavebeen
thr
ough.
Iwantt
olayonhi
schestandcr
yti
l
lIam al
lout
.
Iwanthi
mtohol
dmeandt
ell
met
hathe’
sbackt
hat
hecameforme.

Hi
sey
esar
est
il
lonKeny
awhoi
shol
dingont
ome
t
ight
ly.
Shedi
dn’
twantherpar
ent
staki
ngher
.
“
Isi
tyour
s”heasks.
Thatdeepv
oiceofhi
sagai
ntakesmebackt
owhen
Iwasonmykneeswithhi
scockdeepi
nmythroat
.
“
No,
Keny
aisBandi
l
e’sdaught
er”Isay
.
Henodshi
sheadanddeepl
ysi
ghsst
andi
ngup.
Ipl
aceKeny
adownandl
ookathi
m.
“
Ijustwant
edtoseei
fyouar
efi
ne”hesay
sheadi
ng
f
orthedoor.
Hewal
ksandshut
sthedoorbehi
nd.
“
Babygot
omommyanddaddyokay
”Isay
.
Kenyarunst
ohermother
’sbedr
oom whi
l
eIwal
kout
fol
l
owingNqubeko.
“
Justl
i
ket
hat
”Ishout
.
Het
urnsar
oundandl
ooksatme.
“
Whatdoyouwantf
rom metosayBay
edeyou
f
aint
edandIcamet
oseeify
ou’r
efi
ne”hesay
s.
“
Sev
eny
ear
sNqubekoandt
hatal
lyoucansay
”Iask.
“
Ufunangi
thi
niBay
ede”heasks.
Ir
unoutwor
dshear
inghi
m sayt
hat
.
“
Any
thi
ng”Isay
.
Heshakeshi
shead.
“
Idon’
tknowwhaty
ouwantmet
osay
”hesay
s.
“
NqubekoIwai
ted”Isaysof
tl
y.
“I
tdidn’
tseem l
i
ket
hatbackatt
hehospi
tal
”hehal
f
shouts.
“
Iwai
tedNqubekoandIam st
il
lwai
ti
ng”Isay
.
“
Inev
eraskedy
out
owai
t”hesay
s.
Myey
eswi
den.
“
Youdon’
tmeant
hat
”Isay
.
“
Ishoul
dgo”hesay
s.
“
Nqubekoar
eyouangr
yatme”Iask.
Heshakeshisheadwi
thhi
scl
enchedj
awbutIcan
he’
sboil
ing.
“Ar
eyousleepi
ngwi
tht
hatmanBay
ede”heasks
shout
ing.
“Sothat’
sally
oucareabouti
fIam sl
eepi
ngwi
th
Liam ornot
”Iask.
“
Arey
ou”heasks.
“YouknowwhatNqubekpl
eav
eanddon’
tev
ercome
back”Ishout
.
“
It
’scl
eary
ouar
enott
heNqubekoIknew”Isay
.
“Idon’
tgeti
tBayedewhatdoyouwantmetosay,
I
wenttopri
sonforyougaveupmyli
fefory
ouandI
comebackt of
indyouinanot
herman’
sarms”he
says.
“Inev
eraskedyout
ogot opri
sonformeNqubekoI
beggedyounotdoi
t,beggedyounott
othr
owy ou
l
ifeawayandyoust
il
ldidit
”Ishout
.
“
Bay
ede”hesay
srai
singhi
sey
ebr
ow.
“Youchoset otakethefal
lforme,y
ouropedmy
sist
erint
oy ourplanandyoudruggedmet okeepme
quietandIbeggedy ouPhakathwayonotdoitand
youdid”Isay.
“Iwenttoseey ouandchasedmeaway,
ayearl
aterI
travel
edtothatver
ysamepr i
sont
oseeyouandy ou
stil
lchasedmeaway ”Isay.
“
Youl
eftmeNqubeko”Ishout
.
“Asmuchasy oudidn’taskmet owaitIdi
dn’
task
yout ogotoprisonformesoy ou’
rer
ightt
her
e’s
nothingtosaybetweenus, hambaNqubekoand
don’tyoueverturnback”Isay.
“
Byt
hewayIam onebehi
ndt
hatmask”Isay
.
Hel
ooksdef
eat
edandmost
lygut
tedbymywor
ds.
“
Thi
sisnothowIpict
uredusmeetingbuti
t’
scl
ear
y
oublamemef orgoi
ngtopri
son”Isay.
Hel
ooksatmeandsay
snot
hing.
“Bayedecomeinsi
de”It
urnandf
indBandi
l
e
standi
ngbehi
ndme.
“
Youneedt
oleav
eNqubeko”hesay
s.
Iwalkt
owardsthehouseandl
eav
ehi
m st
andi
ng
ther
ewithNqubeko.
Ifi
ndThandoi
ntheki
tchenmaki
ngher
sel
fsome
snack.
“Youwon’
tbel
i
evethi
s,t
hatmanhast
henerv
eto
quest
ionmeaft
eral
ltheseofy
ear
sofbei
ngaway”I
say.
Shescoopsmesomei
cecr
eam andhandsi
ttome.
“
Whatdi
dhedo”sheasks.
“
Hecameher
etoseei
fIam okay
”It
ell
her
.
Shegivesmeabl
ankst
arewhi
l
etaki
ngabi
teoutof
hersandwi
ch.
“ImeanIexpectedmorefrom hi
mt hathewould
atl
eastsayhecamebackf orme,andwhat ’
shur
ts
themostisthatit
’scl
earhe’
sbeenoutf orawhi
le
andhedidn’tt
hinkofl
ookingmeup”Isay .
Shegr
absachai
randset
tl
esdown.
“Yourbrot
herneverreal
l
ytoldmewhathappened
behindbetweenyouandy ourman”shesay
staki
ng
abiteatherpickl
es.
“ButIwi
ll
saythi
sy outwoneedtofuckthental
k
aboutwhatev
erhappenedi
nt hepast
,andIwantyou
t
oknowthatt
her
emi ghtbeapossi
bil
i
tyt
haty
ou
won’
tendupt
ogether
”shesayssof
tl
y.
“Youneedtol
eaveroom fordi
sappoint
mentyoutwo
havebeenapar
tforyear
s,youhavegrownand
changedmaybeforgoodorwor seIdon’
tknowbut
eit
herway.
Youneedtounderst
andhe’
snotthesameperson
youknewsevenyearsagoj
ustl
i
key ouar
enotthe
samepersonheknewwhenhewentt opr
ison”she
says.
“
Iknowi
tsoundscrazyandneedybutIt
houghthe
woul
dbehappytoseeme”Isay.
“
Ithi
nkIneedhi
m”shewi
pesmyt
ear
sandsmi
l
es.
“
Lethi
m cool
offIt
hinkseei
ngLi
am att
hehospi
tal
t
hrewhi
m off
”Inodmyhead.
“
Goodnowletmemakey ousomet
hingt
hatwi
l
l
makey
oufeelbet
ter
”shesayssmi
li
ng.

Ihavebeent
ossi
ngandturni
ngal
lni
ghtl
ong
thi
nki
ngaboutNqubekoandhowwelef
tthi
ngsof
f.
Ireachf
ormyphoneundert
hepill
owandgetoutof
bedmakingmywaytotheki
tchen.
Ipourmysel
fsomemi
l
kandset
tl
edowngoi
ng
thr
oughmyphone.
Ican’
tbel
iev
ehe’soutt
hathe’
sact
ual
l
yaf
reeman
andhelooksgoodtoodamngood.
Isai
dalotoft
hingsIdi
dn’
tmeanbutIdidandI
regr
ett
hrowi
nghisgooddeedi
nhisface.
Anunknowncal
lcomest
hroughIl
ookatt
hecal
land
swi
pe.
“
Bay
ede”Ial
mostf
all
offt
hechai
rhear
inghi
svoi
ce.
“
Ngi
l
alangaphandl
engi
sacel
auphume”hesay
s.
Iendt
hecal
landheadf
ort
hedoorunl
ocki
ngi
t.
If
indhi
ml eani
ngagai
nsthi
scarwi
thhi
sonehand
i
nhispocket.
Ist
andthereadmi
ri
nghim andhi
shandsomeness
whil
ehetakesonel
astpuf
fandstompsofthe
ci
garet
tebud.
Heopenst
hecarandr
eachesf
orabot
tl
eofwat
er
andpopssomet
hingi
nhi
smout
h..
If
ixmyrobeandcr
osst
hest
reet
,Her
aiseshi
shead
l
ooki
ngatme.
“
Mamhl
ongo”hesay
s.
AlthoughIdespi
semyf
ather
’snamehi
m cal
l
ingme
thatturnsmeon.
Hest
andsupt
all
andanddeepl
ysi
ghs.
“
Ngi
yaxol
i
saBay
ede”hesay
ssof
tl
y.
Tear
sfi
l
lmyey
esbutIbl
i
nkt
hem away
.
Hemov escl
oserandhol
dsmyt
rembl
i
nghands
br
ingi
ngthem t
ohisli
ps.
“
Iam sor
ryt
hatl
efty
ou”hesay
s.
Hepul
l
smecl
oseandmyt
ear
swethi
scl
eanshi
rt
.
Hepul
lsawayandwi
pesmyt
ear
sst
il
ll
ooki
ngi
nto
myeyes.
“
Ngangingaqondil
eukukuzwi
saubuhl
ungumnt
ano
munt
u”hesay s.
“
Thul
aphel
a”hesay
s.
Ishakemyheadandopenmymout
hbutheshut
s
meupwi t
haslowl
ydeepki
ss.

.
..
..
..
..
.
Bay
ede’
skeeper

#26

Iam seat
ingint
hepassengerseatwi
thhi
minthe
dri
ver’
sseathol
dingmyhandclosetohi
sbeat
ing
chest
.
Wehav
en’
tsai
dany
thi
ngmuchsi
ncewegoti
nthe
car
.
“Icoul
dn’
tgot
osl
eepnotaf
terhowwel
eftt
hings”
hesays.
“
Icoul
dn’
tei
therwhi
chi
swhyIwasawake”Isay
.
Hel
ooksatmeandsi
ghs.
“
Whathappenedt
oyou”heasks.
Idon’
tknowi
fheseest
hehi
ddenscar
sorhe’
sjust
aski
ng.
Ir
ememberVumi
l
e’sanswert
othi
squest
ionand
l
ookathi
m.
“
Lif
e”Isay
.
“
Whathappenedt
oyou”Iaskhi
m.
“
Lif
e”hesay
s.
Webot
hfal
li
ntot
hiscomf
ort
abl
esi
l
ence.
“
Whatr
eal
l
yhappenedNqubeko”Iask.
“Lif
eont heinsi
dehappenedwhenIgotthereIwas
nol ongerNqubekoPhakathway
o,Iwasanumberli
ke
allotherpr
isonerandi
tcutdeepknowingIwasaway
from youandmyf ami
l
y”hesays.
Iswal
l
owhar
dthi
smanmadeahugesacr
if
iceme.
“Ihadtotoughenupandbeamanl ookoutf
or
my sel
fandstil
lsur
viv
e,Idi
dal
lthatbutweboth
knowev er
ythi
ngcomesatapr i
ce”hesays.
“
MrNgubane”Iask.
Henodshi
shead.
“
Iam thekindofmymanIam todaybecauseoft
hat
man,hetookmeunderhiswingandhastreat
edme
l
ikehi
sownsonev ersi
nce”hesayssmil
ing.
“
Buthe’
sacr
imi
nal
”Isay
.
Hel
ooksatmewi
thaf
rown.
“
Aren’
tweal
lcr
imi
nal
sBay
ede”heasks.
Inodmyheadhehasapointlookatme,
Imi
ghtnot
beconv
ict
edbutIam acr
iminal.
“
Irespectt
hatmanBay
edet
oomuch”hesay
s.
Idon’
tknowift
hat
’sawarningornotbutIr
efr
ain
fr
om aski
nganymorequest
ionsabouttheman.
“
Howdi
dyouendher
e”heasks.
“Bandil
egottransferr
edfr
om wor kandhet ookme
withhim Idi
dn’thaveanyt
hingleftformet here
anymoresoIl eft
.IlostmyscholarshipandBandil
e
chippedinbutitwasaheav yburdensoIl ookedfor
ajob”Isay.
“
Youmeany
ouendedupsel
l
ingy
our
sel
f”hesay
s.
Il
ookathim asthewordsl
eavehi
smouthi
ndeedhe
haschangedtheNqubekoIknowwoul
dhavebeen
car
efulwit
hhiswords.
“No,
whatImeani
sIbecameadancerbutt
henafew
monthsi
ntoi
tIst
oppedwhenLi
am tookmeunder
hiswi
ngandmademewhoIam todaykindofl
i
ke
whatMrNgubanedi
dfory
ou”Isay
.
Hescof
fsmocki
ngl
ybutIpaynotat
tent
iont
oit
.
“Hepai
dformystudi
esandt
ookcareof
fmesot hat
Idon’
tsl
eepwit
hanymanalli
nthenameofseeki
ng
abett
erl
if
e”Isay.
“Whatabouthi
m hav
eyouev
ersl
eptwi
thhi
m”he
asks.
Ithi
nkthi
sist
het
hir
dti
mehe’
saski
ngcl
ear
lyt
hisi
s
bugginghi
m.
“NoIhaven’tsl
eptwit
hhim oranyothermaninthe
pastyearsIhaven’
tseeny
ou,youarethelastmanI
sleptwi
th”Isay.
Ideepl
ysi
ght rul
yspeaki
ngIneverhadtimetodate
notwhenIstruggl
edwithdepr
ession,
anxiet
yand
hal
luci
nat
ions.
“
Howar eyourpar
entsandPhet
hil
edoi
ng”Iaskaf
ter
alongwhi
l
eofsi l
encebet
weenus.
“Mymot herisfi
neandsoi sPhethi
l
e”hesays
chuckl
i
ng.“ Butwelostmyf at
herayearagohegot
i
ntoanacci dentanddiedonthespot”hesay
s.
“
Iam sor
ry”Isay
.
“
It
’sokay
”hesay
s.
“
HasBandi
l
ebeent
reat
ingy
ouwel
l
”heasks.
“Yeshe’
sthebi
gbrot
herIneverhadandIam
grat
eful
tohavehi
minmyl i
fe”Isay.
“
AboutKhet
hiwe..”Ishakemyheadbef
orehecan
f
ini
shhi
ssentence.
“
Mysi
sterdi
edal
ongt
imeagoandt
hat
’si
t”Isay
.
“
BayedeIhear
daboutwhatl
edtoherdeat
h”Ishake
myheadandgetoutoft
hecar.
“
Bayedengikhulumanawe”(BayedeIam t
alki
ngto
y
ou”hisvoiceisint
imi
dati
ngbutdoesn’
tstopme
t
aki
ngfurtherstepsasIhur
ryacrosst
hestreet
s
“
Ihear
daboutt
hev i
deoandIam sor
ryt
hatIchased
y
ouawaywheny ouneedmethemost.
Ihaven’
tfor
giv
enmy selff
ort
hattot
hisdayI
haven’
t”hesayscat
chingupwit
hhim me.
Hepul
l
smei
ntohi
sar
msandl
ocksmei
n.
“
Youcan’
tfor
cemet
oli
stent
oyout
alkaboutmy
si
ster
”Isay
.
“That’
snotwhatIam doi
ngIam apol
ogi
zi
ngf
ornot
beingther
e”hesays.
“
Ngi
yekeNqubeko”
(l
eav
emeNqubeko”Isay
.

“Wherev
eryougoyouwil
lal
wayshavemeIl
ovey
ou
doct
orPhakathway
o.Lov
eBayede”

“
Rememberthosewor
ds”hesay
srest
inghi
s
f
oreheadonmine.
Icl
osemyeyesandinhal
ehi
scol
ogne,
bei
ngt
his
cl
osetohi
m worksmeup.
If
eel
hotandbot
her
edIcan’
tev
enl
ookhi
mint
he
ey
es.
“Wathiuy
angi
thanda”
(yousai
dyoul
ovedme)he
says.
Irememberthatdayper
fect
lywel
lbecausei
tist
hat
samedaythatchangedoutli
vesf
orever
.
“
Imi
ghtnotbeadoct
orany
mor
ebutIr
emember
thosewordsbecauseIhav
ebeliv
ingbythem andI
havecar
ri
edthem inmyheartf
orsolong”hesays.
Heunti
esmyr
obeandexposesmet
othecol
dai
r
l
ooki
ngatmyboobs.
Hel
ickshi
sli
psandcur
vesi
ntoami
schi
evous
smi
l
es.
Heleanscl
oseandpar
tsmyl
i
pski
ssi
ngmet
ongue
andall
.
Ibalanceonmyt
oesandwr
apmyhandsar
oundhi
s
neck.
“
Iwanty
ou”hesay
s.
“Iwanty
out
oo”Isaypul
l
ingawayt
ocat
chmy
breat
h.
“
Comei
nsi
de”Isay
.
Her
eachesf
ort
hekeyi
nsi
dehi
spocketandl
ocks
t
hecar
.
Ipul
lhi
shandl
eadi
nghi
mtot
hehouse.
Hi
sli
psar
eonmi
net
hemomentt
hedoorshut
s.
Hel
i
ftsmeupandIgr
indmy
sel
fonhi
m deepeni
ng
t
heki
ss.
Heal
mostdr
opsmewhent
hel
i
ght
sgoon.
“Ohit
’sy
oulockt
hedoorwheny
ouar
edone”
Thandosay
ssmil
ing.
“
Iam sor
ryhewasj
ustl
eav
ing”Isay
.
“
AndIam j
ustgoi
ngbackt
obed”shesay
s.
Shewalksbackt
oherbedr
oom andIt
urnt
olookat
Nqubeko.
“Wecan’
tdi
srespectt
hei
rhouseandt
heyhav
ea
chi
l
d”Isay.
“Iunder
standbuthedoesn’
t”hesay
staki
ngmy
handandpl aci
ngi
tonrockhardon.
“
Wecoul
dcuddl
e”Isay
.
Hechuckl
esit
’scl
earhe’
spastt
hecuddl
i
ngst
age
andwantstot
earmeup.
“
Okay
”hesay
s.
Ilockthedoorandpul
lhi
mt omybedr oom andlock
thedoorjusti
ncaseKenyadeci
destocomei nt
omy
room,Imov emypil
l
sandhidethem behindaphoto
f
ramewhi
l
ehet
akesof
fhi
sshoes.
Iremovemygownandgetinsi
dethecoverand
watchashepeel
seachandeveryl
ayofclot
heshe
hasonleav
ingonhi
sbri
efs.
Ilookathi
stonedt
highsandcal
vesandsqueezemy
thighst
oget
herLor
dhav emercy
.
Nqubekoi
shugei
nagoodwayIswal
lowhar
dwhen
hetur
nsandwal
kstowar
dst
hebed.
Wil
lIevenmakeitt
oroundt
woshoul
dwef
uckl
i
ke
Thandosuggest
ed.
Itfeel
sbot
hri
ghtandweirdbei
ngi
nhispresence
andbeingcomfor
tabl
eli
kethi
saft
ersuchalong
time.
Irestmyheadonhi
schestandcl
osemyey
es
feel
inghi
sfi
nger
sdrawonmyshoulder
s

.
..
..
..
..
.
Bay
ede’
skeeper

#27

Iopenmyeyestof
indNqubekolooki
ngatme,
he
smil
esandki
ssesmyforehead.
Theroom issti
lldarkbutthecr
eaki
ngl
ightt
hrough
thecurtai
nsprovidesenoughli
ghtf
ormetoseehis
beauti
fuleyes.
Ir
ememberhowt
heyusedt
odancewhenev
ert
hey
l
ookedatme.
Hemov eshishandsdownmyt
highsandbr
ingsme
cl
oserkissi
ngme.
“
Imi
ssedy
ouBay
ede”hesay
s.
He’
snol
ongeraboybutagr
ownman.
“
Imi
ssedy
out
oo”Iadmi
tthet
rut
h.
“
AndIam gl
adt
hatIwai
ted”Isay
.
If
eel
hishandi
nsi
demyshor
tswhi
l
ehekeeps
st
ari
ngatme.
Thatmel
ti
ngsensat
ionagai
nhi
tsmeasIcl
osemy
eyes.
Hegetsinbet
weenmythi
ghsandkissesmesl
owl
y
asi
freadingmybodyf
ort
heveryf
ir
stt i
me.
“
Nqubeko”Iwhi
sper
.
“Letmemakey
ouhappy
”hesay
spul
l
ingdownmy
short
s.
Ifeelexposedwhenhi
shandset
tl
esonshav
ed
parts.
“
Iwantt
omakel
ovet
oyou”hesay
s.
Ican’
tfaul
thi
minany
thi
ngLor
dknowsIwantt
hat
too.
Inodmyheadandhechuckl
es.
“Khul
umanami
Mamhl
ongo”(
tal
ktomeMamhl
ongo)
hesays.
“
Iwantt
hatt
oo”Isay
.
“Andwhatisi
tthatyouwantexact
ly”heasksgent
ly
pushi
nghisfi
ngerinsi
deme.
Ilosemybreat
he,
Ihav
ebeent
ouchedl
i
ket
hisi
na
verylongl
ong.
“
Iwanty
out
omakel
ovet
ome”Isay
.
Hegi
vesmeasi
desmi
l
eandl
eanscl
oset
omyear
.
“Soyounol
ongerwantmet
ofucky
ouBay
ede”he
asks.
Ishakemyheadnotaf
terIsawhi
shugecor
k.
Hetakesof
fmypaj
amat
opandmov
eshi
shandt
o
cupmybreast
.
Heuseshi
stonguet
oli
ckt
hem andgent
lysqueezes
myhardni
ppl
es.
Imoanbit
ingmyl
owerl
i
pwant
ingt
ofeel
himi
nsi
de
al
ready
.
Hiswaistismovi
nginci
rcl
emaki
ngmef
eel
hishar
d
corkagainstmywethol
e.
Hel
eav
eswetki
ssesgoi
ngdownt
omynav
el.
If
eel
hiswar
mlipsonmyshavedpart
sandcl
ose
memyeyeswhenhist
ongueswir
lsar
oundmyfol
ds.
“
Nqubekof
uckme”Isay
.
Theachi
ngi
stoobadIcan’
tcont
rol
it.
Hecomesbackupandki
ssesmehav
ingmet
ast
e
mysel
fonhi
sli
ps.
Hestr
okeshi
mselfandhol
dshisblackcor
k
br
ushi
ngitupagai
nstmythrobbi
ngcli
t.
If
eel
thi
sbl
oodr
ushi
ngmomentandhol
dmybr
eat
h.
“
Rel
ax”hesay
ssl
owl
ypushi
nghi
msel
fin.
Igaspforf
ort
hel
i
feofmewhenIf
eel
thet
ipofhi
s
corkpushi
n.
Heswall
owshardandhol
l
owshi
sbr
eat
hfur
ther
pushi
nghimsel
fin.
“
Ahhh”mybr
eat
hehi
tches.
“
Shoul
dIst
op”heasks.
Ishakemyheadst
il
lholdi
ngmybreat
heIthi
nkI
haveateardownt
heredespi
tebei
ngwet
.
Hel
ooksi
ntomyey
esandki
ssesmyf
orehead.
Igetlosti
nhisbeaut
iful
eyesandf
il
last
ingwhenhe
ful
lypusheshimsel
fin.
Igasphol
dingont
ohisshoul
der
stear
scomi
ngf
rom
thecor
nerofmyeyes.
“
Iam sor
ry”hesay
ssl
owl
ymov
ingi
nsi
deme.
“
Youar
esowar
m andt
ight
”hesay
sgr
oani
ng.
Hethrust
sinandoutwi
thhi
sheadbur
iedonmy
neck.
Hekeepsswal
l
owi
ngcat
chi
nghi
sbr
eat
hli
keaman
onarun.
“DammitBayedey
ou’
reki
l
li
ngme”hesay
sgi
vi
ngme
slowl
ystr
okes.
Icant el
lhe’
shol
dingbackonmehewant
sto
unleashsomethi
nginhim.
“
Iam y
our
sNqubekoIhav
eal
way
sbeeny
our
s”Isay
.
Hegi
vesmeaki
ssandget
sonhi
skneespul
l
ingmy
l
egst
ohim.
Hehumpsi nsi
demeandgr
absont
ight
lyt
omy
t
highsdeeplyst
roki
ng.
Ial
mostlosemymindandgr
abont
othebedashe
thr
ust
sinandout
.
Tearsf
il
lmyeyeswhenhestopsgoi
nghardand
f*
cksmeslowlooki
ngi nt
omyeyesIf
eelmymy sel
f
buil
dupandasifhereadmymind.
Hemoveshishandandpl
acesi
tonmycl
i
tand
st
art
stovi
gorousl
ymovehist
humb.
“OhhNqubeko”Isaycurl
i
ngmyt
oesandcl
osi
ngmy
eyesscr
eamingmyr el
ease.
Hepul
lsoutwi
thhi
scockcov
eredi
nmyj
uicesand
comesuptoki
ssme.
Het
urnsmear
oundandpl
acesapi
l
lowunder
neat
h
me.
Myar
sei
sst
icki
ngout
.
If
eel
hist
onguel
i
cksmybut
tcheeksandanal
hol
e.
Thewai
ti
ngiskil
li
ngmehepusheshi
sfi
nger
sinsi
de
meandstar
tsfucki
ngme.
Iam athi
smer cyandheknowsit,
hepul
lsouthi
s
fi
ngersandspanksmybuttcheekssohardI
whimper.
It
urnmyheadandnoti
cehi
sbl
ackdri
ppi
ngcor
k
st
andi
ngtal
landr
aisemyar
seforhi
m.
Hesl
owlythrusti
nandpul
lsoutagai
nspanki
ngmy
ar
se,
Iam t
ryingbyal
lmeansnottobeloudbutt
his
manismakingiti
mpossi
bleforme.
Igraboneofthepi
l
lowsandbi
teati
twhenIf
eel
him
deepstrokeme.
Hi
sonehandent
wineswithminewhil
etheot
her
wr
apsar
oundmywai stsl
i
ghtl
yrai
singmeup.
Hi
slipsl
andonmyneckandbackashesl
owl
y
t
hrusti
ndeepandf
*cksmesogoodIdon’
twantt
he
momenttoend.
“
Ilov
eyou”If
eel
hismoi
stcheekashewhi
sper
sin
myear.
“Ngiy
kuthandaBayedef
uthiangi
yi
soli
ngalento
engayenza”(l
ovey
ouBay edeandIdon’tr
egretwhat
Idi
d)givenachanceIwoulddoital
loveragain”he
says.
Hesni
ff
sandt
ight
enshi
shol
dov
ermef
u*cki
ngme
har
d.
Hegroanssol
oudIfeel
anot
herwavehi
tme,
he
t
remblesashefi
l
lsmeupwithhi
sseed.
Ibreaki
ntoansobemoti
onal
aspul
l
southi
demy
facecry
ingi
ntomyhands.
Hepul
l
smei
ntohi
sar
msandhol
dsme.
“I
t’
sokayIam herenowandIam notgoi
ng
anywher
e”hesays.
Hemakesmesleeponmysi
deandr
aisesmyl
egup
sl
i
dingbacki
nsi
deme.
Icl
osemyey
eswhent
hepl
easur
etakesov
erme.
“Ihav
enev erl
ikedseei
ngyoucryandIwon’
tstar
t
now”hesay sslowl
ythrust
ingi
sandoutmassage
mybr east
.
I
t’
sdif
fi
cul
ttoconcent
rat
eonmycr
yingwhi
l
ehe’
s
deepi
nsi
deme.
“
Don’tthi
nkabouti
twhat
everi
tisdon’
tthi
nkabout
j
ustall
owmet olov
eyou”hewhisper
s.
“
Okay
”Isay
.
“
That
’smygi
rl
”hesay
ski
ssi
ngmyshoul
der
.

“
Yey
e”Keny
ashout
s.
Iopenmyeyesandfi
ndmy sel
finNqubeko’
sar
ms
l
asnightwasoutoft
hisworl
d.
“
Yey
eopent
hedoor
”Keny
asay
s.
Imov
eNqubeko’
sar
msbuthet
ight
enhi
shol
d.
“
Yey
e”Keny
ashout
sev
enmor
e.
Nqubekoopenshi
sey
es.
“
Mor
ning”hesay
specki
ngmyl
i
ps.
“Morni
ngpl
easel
etmegosoIcangett
hedoor
”I
say.
Hel
etsgoandpeel
sthecov
ersof
f.
Wearebot
hnakedandmythi
ghshav
emar ksf
rom
hi
sti
ghtgr
ipIbetmyar
sei
smarkedtoo.
Iputonmyr
obeandwat
chasheput
sonhi
sbr
ief
s.
Igetthedoorandfi
ndhersuckl
i
ngonhert
humb
holdi
ngherteddyi
nonehand.
“
Mor
ningpumpum”Isay
.
“Iwantt
osleepwi
thy
ou”shesay
str
yingt
ofor
ce
herwayin.
“WellIam get
ti
ngdressedandIhav
emademybed
al
ready”Isayblocki
ngherway.
Shebat
sherey
eli
dsanddr
opshermout
h
“
Yey
epl
ease”shesay
s.
“
Lett
hechi
l
din”Nqubekosay
s.
Il
etheri
nandwatchasshegoesst
rai
ghtf
orthe
bedbutst
opsonhertr
acksl
ooki
ngatNqubeko.
Imouthathankyouseei
ngt
hathei
sdr
essedi
nhi
s
pant
s,v
estandsocks.
Shewalksbackt
omeandhol
dsmyhandpul
l
ingme
toherl
evel
.
“
Yey
ewhoi
sthat
”shewhi
sper
ssof
tl
y.
“
That
’smyf
ri
end”Iwhi
sperback.
“
Isheast
ranger
”sheasks.
“
Nohe’
snotast
ranger
”Isay
.
“
Okay
”shesaysshr
uggi
nghershoul
der
swal
ki
ng
t
owar
dsNqubeko.
“
HimynameKeny
a”shesay
shol
dingoutherhand.
“
Himynamei
sNqubeko”hesay
s.
Theyshakeoni
tNqubekohav
ingt
hebi
ggestsmi
l
e
onhisface.
Hereachesf
orhi
sri
ngi
ngphoneandwal
ksupt
othe
wi
ndow.
“
Mbomv
u”hesay
s.
Hekeepsnoddi
nghi
sheadanddeepl
ysi
ghs.
“
Iam onmywaySomahhashi
”hesay
slooki
ngatme.
“
Keny
acl
osey
ourey
es”Isay
.
Shegi
ggl
esandcl
osesherey
esusi
nghert
eddy
.
Nqubekopul
l
smecl
oseandki
ssesme.
“
Ihav
etogoMbomv
uneedsme”hesay
s.
Inodmyheadandwat
chasheput
sonhi
sshi
rt
s
andshoes.
Ifeel
thisachenesi
nmyhear
twhenheheads
towardsthedoor.
Seei
nghi
mleav
etr
igger
ssomet
hingi
nme.
I
tdawnsonmet
hatIhav
ethi
sfearofl
osi
nghi
m al
l
ov
eragai
n.
Bandi
lewasrightIf
earlosi
ngpeoplecl
oset
omy
hear
tbecauseofevery
thingIl
ost.

Ispentmostofmydaywonderi
ngifNqubekowas
fi
neornotbutwhenhecall
edandtol
dmehewasi n
thehospi
tal
Irushedher
eassoonasIcould.
“
Youdi
dn’
thav
etocome”Nqubekosay
s.
“
Iwaswor
ri
edabouty
ou”Isay
.
Hepul
l
sawayf
rom myhugandl
ookst
othesi
de.
“
Ist
hatMr
sNgubane”Iask.
Henodshi
sheaddeepl
ysi
ghi
ng.
“
What
’swr
ongwhoi
ssi
ck”Iask.
“Zamowasi nanaccidentandsheneedsabl
ood
transf
usi
onbutnoneofusmat chandthehospi
tal
is
outofblood”hesay
s.
Il
ookaroundthefancyhospi
tal
andf i
ndi
thar
dthat
suchahospit
alcanrunoutofblood.
“
What
’sherbl
oodt
ype”Iask
“
AB-
“hesay
s.
Il
ookatMr
sNgubaneandcl
earmyt
hroat
.
“
Iam anAB-t
ooIcangi
vehermybl
ood”hesay
s.
Hi
sey
eswi
denbutr
eli
efwashesov
erhi
m.
“
Arey
ousur
e”heasks.
Inodmyheadsur
elyonepr
ickwon’
thur
t.
Thedoct
orwalksov
erandthewholef
amil
ystands
up,
NqubekoandImovecl
oserasthedoct
orpl
eads
wit
hthefami
ly.
“MrNgubaney ourdaught
erlostal
otofbloodi
fshe
doesn’tgetatr
ansfusi
onthenshe’
sgoingtodi
e”the
doctorsays.
“
Babadosomethi
ngpl
easeSomahhashi
”Mr
s
Ngubanesay
s.
Il
ookatMrNgubaneandseedef
eati
nwr
it
tenal
l
overhi
sface.
Il
ookatNet
haandr
ememberhowhar
diti
stol
ose
asibl
i
ng.
“
Icanhel
p”myv
oicecomesoutshakyandl
ow.
Ev
ery
onel
ooksatme.
“
What
’sy
ourbl
oodt
ype”t
hedoct
orask.
“
Ab-
“Isay
.
Thedoctorbreat
hesheav
il
yandl
ooksatt
he
Nqubane’s.
“Yourdaught
erhasj
ustbeensav
edmam pl
ease
comewi thme”hesays.
Nqubekohol
dsmyhandaswef
oll
owt
hedoct
or.

.
..
..
..
..
..
..
Bay
ede’
sKeeper

#28

Thedoctorwarnedmeaboutthef
ati
gueImi
ght
exper
ienceaf
terthepr
ocedur
e.
Iwasn’
texpecti
ngtofal
lasleepaft
erbutIdi
dandI
fi
gur
edthatit
’sduetomyl astni
ght
sworkout.
Nqubekoheldmyhandthr
oughoutt
hepr
ocessi
t
wasquickandsi
mple.
Iopenmyey
esandseeMrNgubaneseat
edl
ooki
ng
atme.
Ibl
i
nki
nhopesoff
indi
nghi
m gonebuthe’
sst
il
lher
e.
Thi
sist
hecr
eepi
estt
hingt
hat
’sev
erhappenedt
o
me.
Isi
tupstrai
ghtandl
ookathi
mt hi
smanhasi ssues
wholooksatsomeonewhil
etheyareasl
eep.
“
Idi
dn’
tmeant
oscar
eyou”hesay
s.
Hedidn’
tbuthedi
dandhecant
ell
yethe’
sst
il
l
seat
edther
elooki
ngatme.
“
Thanky
ouf
orsav
ingmydaught
er”hesay
s.
“
Thatwasnot
hingIam gl
adIcoul
dhel
p”Isay
.
Henodshi
sheadandsmi
l
es.
“Idon’
tmeant
opr
ybutwher
eisy
ourf
ami
l
y”he
asks.
“
Idon’
thav
eaf
ami
l
y”Isay
.
Hef
rownsandl
ooksst
rai
ghti
ntomyey
es.
“Ev
enify
oul
ookhar
dery
ouwon’
tfi
ndany
thi
ng”I
say.
Hel
ooksdef
eat
edbymyr
esponse.
“
Yousayyoudon’
thav
eaf
ami
l
ybuty
ouhadone
r
ight
”hesay
s.
Thismaniswal
ki
ngoneggshel
lsifi
twereupt
ohim
hewouldbedemandi
ngIt
ellhi
m aboutmywhole
famil
ytr
ee.
“Wit
hal
lduerespectMrNgubanewhyar
eyou
aski
ngmethesequesti
ons”Iask.
Thedooropensbefor
ehecananswermewit
h
Nqubekowalki
nginfol
lowedbyNet
haandhi
s
mother.
Nqubekowal
ksov
ert
omeandki
ssesmyf
orehead.
“
Youdi
dgood”hesay
shol
dingmyhand.
Thisol
dmankeepslooki
ngatmeIam st
art
ingt
o
thi
nkhewant
stokil
lme.
Mr
sNgubanewal
ksov
ert
omesmi
l
ing.
“ThankyouBayedeforsavi
ngmychi
l
dmayGod
blessyousi
si”shesays.
“
Iam gl
adIcoul
dhelpmaIhopey
ourdaught
er
r
ecov
erswell
”Isay
.
“Howarey
ouf
eel
i
ngIhopei
twasn’
ttoopai
nful
”she
says.
“
Itwasn’
tpai
nful
mai
twasqui
ck”Isay
.
Shel
aughssof
tl
yandr
unsherhanddownmyf
ace.
“
Ithi
nkweshoul
dgivey
ousomespace”shesay
s
l
ooki
ngatNqubeko.
Ther
oom cl
ear
sandNqubekol
aysnextt
ome.
“
What
’sony
ourmi
nd”heasks.
“Not
hingjustt
hatIwokeuptoMrNgubanest
ari
ng
atmet hatmancreepsmeout”Isay
.
Hechuckl
esandshakeshi
shead.
“
Ibetheki
l
lspeopl
etoo”Isay
.
“
Bay
ede”hewar
ns.
“
FineIwon’
tspeakabouty
ourboss”Isay
.
“
Thanky
ouf
orl
astni
ghtMamhl
ongo”hesay
s.
“Thanky
ouf
orbei
ngt
her
ewhenIneededy
out
obe”
Isay.
Hesmi
l
esandl
eanscl
osef
oraki
ss.
“Iwantyoutosleepov
eratmyhouset
oni
ght
”he
saysinbetweenourkiss.
“
Iwoul
dli
ket
hatv
erymuch”Isay
.
ThedooropensandLi
am wal
ksi
nNqubekol
etsgo
ofmyhandandshakeshi
shead.
“
Hey
”hesay
s.
“
Hiwhendi
dyougether
e”Iask.
“Iwasont hecal
lwi
thBheki
zizwewhenhe
ment i
onedthaty
ouwerehere”hesay
swalki
ng
closer
.
Thetensi
oni
nther
oom t
hickensIf
eel
myar
mpi
ts
sweat.
“SoIthoughtIshoul
dcomecheckupony
ou”he
says.
“
Thanky
ouIam f
ine”Isay
.
Hel
ooksatNqubekoandhol
dsouthi
shand.
“
Liam Spect
or”hesay
s.
Nqubekoext
endshi
stooandt
heyshakeoni
t.
“
Phakat
hway
o”hesay
s.
“
Pleasedt
omeety
ou”Li
am say
s.
Li
am l
ooksatmeandclearshist
hroatIcan’
tlethi
m
l
eavewit
houtuspr
oper
lytalki
ng.
“
Phakat
hway
owi
l
lyouexcuseuspl
ease”Isay
.
Heget
sof
fandwal
ksout
.
Li
am set
tl
esnextt
omeandhol
dsmyhand.
“
Sot
hat
’shi
m”heasks.
“
Yest
hat
’shi
m”Isay
.
“
Bay
ede”hesay
ssof
tl
ycl
enchi
nghi
sjaws.
“
IknowbutIam wi
l
li
ngt
otr
y”Isay
.
“
Idon’
twanty
ougethur
tBay
ede”hesay
ssqueezi
ng
myhand.
“
Iwon’
tgethur
t”Isay
.
Henodshi
sheadandbl
i
nks.
“
Iwi
l
lal
way
sbeher
e”hesay
ski
ssi
ngmyf
orehead.
Hef
orcesasmi
l
eandst
andsup.
Inevermeantt
ohur
thi
m andseei
nghi
mthi
sgut
ted
breaksmyheart
.
Thi
sist
hesecondt
imei
tfeel
sli
kegoodby
e.
Igetupf
rom t
hehospi
talbedandr
usht
ohi
m he
tur
nsandhol
dsmet i
ght.
“
Iam sor
ry”Isay
.
If
eell
ikecr
apthi
smandidsomuchf orme,Iowe
hi
m anditf
eel
sli
keIusedhi
m andnowdiscardi
ng
hi
m.
“I
t’
sokayy
oudeser
veallt
hehappi
nessandifhecan
gi
veitt
oyout
henIam happy
”hesayspull
i
ngaway .
ThedooropensandNqubekowal
ksi
n.
Li
am cl
earshi
sthr
oatandforcesasmil
eyetagai
n
tr
uthbetol
dweneverthoughti
twoul
dcomet othi
s.
“
Iwi
l
lseey
ouatwor
k”hesay
swal
ki
ngout
.
Nqubekol
ooksatmeandheav
esasi
gh.
“Arey
ouwegoi ngtohav
eapr
obl
em Bay
ede”he
asksrai
singhi
seyebr
ow.
Il
ookathi
m andshakemyhead.
“
Thenwhyareyououtofy
ourbedandhuggi
ngot
her
man”heasks.
Istepawayfr
om hi
m becauseoft
heener
gyand
tonehe’
sgiv
ingme.
Hemov
escl
oserandpul
l
smebymywai
st.
“Ngekengikubekeizi
ndlaminaBayede
ngizokushay
angomt hondo”(Iwon’
tlaymyhandon
youBay edeIwil
lf*
cky ou)hesays.
Iswal
l
owhar
dandbl
i
nkl
ooki
ngup.
“
Nqubekowhatar
ewe”Iask.
“
Youaremyhear
tBay
edeandIhopeIam y
our
stoo”
Hesay
sleani
ngf
orakiss.

Nqubekotookmetohi
shouseandleftmether
ehe
menti
onedsomethi
ngaboutat
tendi
ngtosome
busi
ness.
I
t’
samazinghowmuchhehasacqui
redint
hese
pasty
ear
sclear
lywor
kingf
ort
hismanispayi
ngof
f.
Wehadt
ogettakeout
sonourwayher
esi
ncewe
wer
ebot
hti
red.
Iopenmyey eswhenIhearsomenoi
secomi
ngf
rom
thepassageandgetoutofbed.
“
Q”af
emal
evoi
cecal
l
sout
.
Ist
andt
her
enotknowi
ngwhatt
odo.
“
Nqubeko”thefootst
epsf
urt
hermaket
hei
rway
t
owardsthebedroom.
Thedooropensandtheli
ght
sgoonasl
i
m beaut
if
ul
l
adywalksinandlooksatme.
“
Whot
hehel
lar
eyou”sheasks.
Igett
onguet
ied.
“Iaskedy
ouaquest
ionwhot
hehel
lar
eyou”she
asks.
“
Areoneofhi
sfl
oozi
es”shesay
s.
“
No”Isay
.
“
Ohi
tcanspeakgetoutofmyhouse”shesay
s.
Igoformybagbutshegr
absmebymyar
m and
thr
owsmeoutofthebedr
oom.
Idon’
twai
ttobet
oldt
wiceandr
ushoutoft
he
house.
Iam notaboutt
ofi
ghtandgetbeat
enf
orNqubeko.
Ibumpi
ntoNet
haout
sideandhughi
m.
“
Pleasegetmeoutofher
e”Isay
.
Helooksatmef
rom headt
otoeandshakeshi
s
head.
Thecrazyladykeepsshout
ingbehi
nduscussi
ng
andcall
ingmenames.
Ist
andbehi
ndNet
haandcl
i
ngont
ohi
sjacket
.
“ComeonZozireal
l
ythi
sagai
nwhatt
hehel
lar
e
doingher
e”Net
haasks.
“St
ayoutoft
hisNet
hay
ouar
ethedemonst
andi
ng
bet
weenmeandmyman”shesays.
Iwantt
ol aughatt
hisembar
rassi
ngsi
tuat
ionbutI
hol
dmy self.
“
Youar
eonecr
azygi
rl
”Net
hasay
s.
“Iseey
ou,youwantmeNet
hat hat
’swhyyouhave
beenpoisoni
ngmymanagainstme”shesays.
“
Don’tmindhershe’
sabi
tcr
azy
”Net
hasay
s
l
aughing.
“Geti
nthecarbef
oreshet
hrowssomet
hingaty
ou”
hesays.
Igeti
nthecarandwat
chNet
hashov
eZozi
int
othe
house.
“
Sity
ourcr
azyassi
nthehouseandst
opmaki
ng
noiseandIwill
makesur eNqubekocal
l
sthepol
i
ce
ony outhi
sti
mear ound”Net
hasayswalki
ng
towardsthecar.
Het
akesof
fhi
sjacketandhandsi
ttome.
“
Putt
hisone”hesay
s.
Iputt
hej
acketonashedr
ivesof
f.
Wepassbyt
hiscuteli
tt
lepl
aceandgetsomet
hing
t
oeatandmi
lkshakes.
“
Thanky
ouf
ort
his”Isay
.
“
Itt
heleastIcandoaf
teryougotki
ckedoutofy
our
man’
shouse”hesayslaughi
ng.
Il
ookathi
m andr
eal
i
zehe’
snotal
lbad.
“Iwasn’
texpect
ingt
hatbuti
t’
sonef
ort
hebooks”I
say.
Webothlaughthematterof
fasmuchasi
t’
s
embar
rassingi
t’
sfunnyinaway.
Hepul
l
supoutsi
dethi
sbeaut
if
ulhouseandopens
t
hegat
edr
ivi
ngin.
“
Thi
sisnotmyhouse”Isay
.
“
Inev
eraskeddi
rect
ionst
oyourhouse”hesay
s.
“Ican’
tdri
veyouhomeNqubekosai
dhewoul
d
personal
l
ypickyouup”
hesays.
That
’sal
i
esi
ncehehasn’
tpi
ckeduphi
sphone.
Webot
hgetoutoft
hecarhi
mleadi
ngt
heway
.
Thi
sishishomehewal
ksfreel
yoncewear
einsi
de
andcal
l
soutforhi
smother
.
Ibarefootedandi
nat-
shi
rtwhichi
s
embar rassi
ng,
bot
hhi
sparent
sgraceuswi
tht
hei
r
presence.
Thi
sisahomewi
tht
wopar
ent
ssomet
hingIhav
e
l
ongedfor
.
“
Bay
ede”Hi
smot
hersay
s.
Herbeaut
iful
smi
l
eandmot herl
ynatur
eremi
ndsme
ofNqunbeko’
smother
,Imi
ssthatwomansomuch.
“
Whathappeneddi
dsomeonehur
tyou?wasi
t
Nqubeko?
”MrNgubaneasks.
“Babacal
m downNqubekodi
dnot
hingwel
lnot
dir
ectl
y”Net
hasay
s.
Theol
dmancal
msdownandl
ooksatme.
Idon’tfeelcomfor
tabl
est
andi
ngher
einat
-shi
rtand
Netha’sjacket
.
“
Comel
et’
sgetyousomeshoesandsomet
hing
war
m”MrsNgubanesay
s.
Sheholdsmyhandaswedi
sappeari
ntot
he
passage.
Ist
oponmyt
rackswhenIseeapi
ctur
ehungont
he
wal
l.
“
That
’sZamo”shesay
s.
Il
ookatthi
sZamoandshutmyey
esj
ustf
ora
second.
“
Khethi
we”Isuddenl
yhearherv
oiceandpi
ctur
eher
i
nthebatht
ub.
Ihol
dontot
hewallandtrytobr
eat
heandgat
hermy
sel
fbutt
hevoi
cepersi
sts.
“
Noshewoul
dn’
tleav
eme”Isay
.
“Bayede”Mr
sNgubanesay
spl
aci
ngherhandonmy
shoulder
.
Ishr
ugherof
fandpl
acemyhandsov
ermyear
s.
“
Makei
tst
op”Isay
.
Isl
idedownthewal
landhugmyl
egsr
ocki
ngmy
sel
f
backandfor
th.
“
Baba”
MrsNgubanecal
l
sout
.
“
Wakeup,
pleasedon’
tleav
eme”Isay
.
Mymi
ndpl
aysKhet
hiwe’
sdeat
hov
erandov
er.
Ipul
lmyhai
rtr
yingt
omakei
tst
op.
“
Bayedeopenyourey
es”Iopenmyey
esandf
indMr
Ngubanel
ooki
ngatme.
“
Cal
m downokayj
ustbr
eat
he”hesay
s.
“
Ithur
tspl
easemakei
tst
op”
Isay
.
Hekneel
sdownandhol
dsbot
hmyhands.
“
Squeezemyhands”hesay
s.
Isqueezehi
shands.
“
That
’sgoodnowl
i
stent
ome”hesay
s.
Hest
art
shummi
ngasoot
hingandf
ami
l
iarsong.
Thevoi
cesslowlyfadeawaywi
thev
ery
thi
ng
becomi
ngclearer
.

.
..
..
..
..
.
Bay
ede’
skeeper

#29

NqubekoPhakat
hway
o

Imakemywayt ot
hedoctor
’sof
fi
ceanddeepl
ysi
gh
bef
oreknocki
ngonthedoor
.
Iopent
hedoorandwal
kinshut
ti
ngi
tbehi
ndme.
“
MrPhakat
hway
ohowcanIhel
pyou”hesay
s.
“
Dropt
hef
ormal
i
tiesMar
c”Isay
.
Het
akesof
fhi
sgl
assesandpl
acest
hem ont
he
t
abl
e.
“
WhatcanIdof
ory
ouPhakat
hway
o”heasks.
Igr
abaseatandr
ubmyey
es.
“
Ineedt
oknowwhaty
ouwer
edi
scussi
ngwi
th
Mbomvu”Isay
.
Hebl
i
nksl
i
keamanwhoj
ustgotcaughtwi
thhi
s
pant
sdown.
“
Youofal
lpeopleknowIcan’tshar
ethat
i
nfor
mati
onwithyou”hesays.
“
Whot hehellvouchedfory
ouwhenMbomv
u
want
edy ourhead”Iask.
“
You”hesay
s.
“
Nowst
artt
alki
ng”Isay
.
“Phakathway
opleasedon’
tputmei
nadi
ff
icul
t
posit
ion”hesay
s.
“
Mar cIt
hinkyoumisunderst
oodmeIwasn’
taski
ng
y
ouIam tell
ingyoutoopenthatmout
hofyour
sand
t
ell
mewhaty oudi
scussed”Isay
.
“
Hewant
edmet
orunaDNAt
estont
hegi
rl
”hesay
s.
“
And”Iask.
“
WellIdrewsomebl
oodandt ookitt
othel
abwear
e
j
ustwait
ingf
orther
esul
ts”hesays.
“
Askt
helabtopushitupandmakei
tapr
ior
it
yonce
y
ougett
heresul
tscallme”Isay
.
“
WhataboutNgubanehe’
sgoi
ngt
owantt
oknow”
hesay
s.
“
Marcwhenthosedamnresul
tsgetbackcal
lme
f
ir
sti
sthatcl
ear
”henodshi
shead.
“
Good”Ist
andupandheadf
ort
hedoor
.
Ir
eachi
nsi
demypocket
sandpul
lmyr
ingi
ngphone.
Il
ookatt
hescr
eenandseeNet
ha’
sname.
“
Somahhashi
”Isay
.
“
Ineedy
out
ocomet
othehousei
t’
sur
gent
”hesay
s.
“
What
’swr
ongi
sitMbomv
u”Iask.
“
Noi
t’
sBay
edeshe’
snotl
ooki
nggood”hesay
s.
Iendt
hecal
landr
unoutheadi
ngt
omycar
.
Idr
ivest
rai
ghtt
ot heNgubaner
esi
denceandpark
mycarinthedr
ivewaymakingmywayinside.
Thethoughtofsomet
hinghappeni
ngt
oher
fr
ight
ensme.
“
Mawher
eisshe”Iaskl
ooki
ngatZamo’
smot
her
.
“She’
sint
hespar
ebedr
oom nextt
oZamo’
sroom”
shesays.
Ihurr
ytothespar
eroom andf
indMbomv
uhol
ding
herhand.
Ihaveseencr
uelmenbutnotl
ikethi
soneand
Bayedepossi
blybei
nghi
sdaughterf
ri
ght
ensthehel
l
outofme.
Mbomvuhasenemiesall
overpeopl
egunningfor
hi
m andi
fthi
sist
ruethenherl
if
eisindanger,
“
Somahhashi
”Isaywal
ki
ngcl
osert
oBay
ede.
Hel
etsgoofherhandandmov
es.
“
Yey
e”sheopensherey
eandj
ustl
ookatme.
Shel
ooksf
rai
landshaken.
“I
t’
sokayIam her
enowandIam t
aki
ngy
ouhome”I
say.
“Letherspendt
heni
ghtshe’
snotokay
”Somahhashi
says.
“
Babai
sri
ghtshe’
sreal
l
ynotokay
”Net
hasay
s.
Ihel
pheroutputont
hesl
eeper
slai
doutandl
i
fther
up.
Shewr
apsherar
msar
oundmyneckandr
esther
headonmyshoul
der
.
“
Nqubeko”Hesay
s.
Ir
aisemyheadandl
ookathi
mfr
owni
ng.
“Wi
thal
lduerespectSomahhashi
Iam t
aki
ngher
home,
sheneedstobehomewi thme”Isay
.
Hegi
vesmeaquest
ionabl
elook.
“Whichhomebecausethelastti
meIcheckedt
hat
crazyl
adyisst
il
latyourhouse”Net
hasays.
Il
ookatSomahhashiandr
ememberwhatt
hedoct
or
sai
dit
’scl
earhethi
nksBayedei
shi
s.
“Sheneedst
hesl
eepaf
terwhatshewentt
hough”he
says.
Ipl
aceherbackdownont
hebedandaskwhat
happened.
“Wedon’
tknowshest
art
edscr
eamingandcal
li
ng
outanameaski
ngustomakei
tstop”Net
hasays.
“
Whatname”Iaskhol
dingherhand.
“Shekeptcall
i
ngoutKhethi
wedon’
tleav
eme”He
conti
nueslooki
ngatBayede.
“What
everi
tthathappenedtoherr
eall
ymessedher
up”Hesayswalki
ngov ert
oBeyede.
Hegentl
yruff
leheral
readymesseduphai
rand
ki
ssesherfor
ehead.
“
Seey
oui
nthemor
ning”hesay
swal
ki
ngout
.
“
Whoi
sthi
sKhet
hiwe”Somahhashi
asks.
“Khet
hiwewasherol
dersi
sterbutsheki
l
ledher
sel
f”
Isay.
Hebr
eat
hesi
nandoutheav
il
yandr
ubshi
sey
es.
“
Whathappenedt
othei
rpar
ent
s”heasks.
“Li
keIt
oldyouMbomvuhermotherdiedandher
namewasNokwanda”heshootsmeal ookthat
l
eavesmethinki
ngheknowsBayede’
smot her
.
“Shewasmar r
iedt
oamannameSabel oMhlongo
andtheyhadtwochil
drenBayedeand
Khethi
we,Bay
ededoesn’thav
eanyoneelsebecause
theyal
ldi
ed”Isay.
“
Ist
her
eany
thi
ngel
sey
ouwoul
dli
ket
oknow”Iask.
Heshakeshi
sheadst
andi
ngup.
“
Mbomv
u”Isayacknowl
edgi
nghi
m.
Hewal
ksoutandshut
sthedoorbehi
ndhi
m.
Iturnmyf
ocust
oBay
edeandcar
essherbeaut
if
ul
face.
“
Whathappenedst
handwasam”Iask.
“
Ijustwanty
out
ohol
dme”shesay
s.
Ihol
dhercl
oset
omychestandki
ssherhead.
“
Khul
umanamiMamhlongowhat’
swrong”(
Tal
kto
meMamhl
ongowhat
’swrong)Iasks.
Herey
eswel
lupandsheshakesherhead.

Spendi
ngthenightatMbomv u’
shousedidn’tf
eel
ri
ghtbutbecauseheinsi
stedIhadnochoice.
It
urntot
heothersi
deandfi
ndBayedeal
ready
dr
essedwit
hherarmsfol
dedlooki
ngatme.
“
Mor
ningMamhl
ongo”
Isay
.
“
Mor
ningMunt
ukaZozi
”shesay
scal
mly
.
Icl
earmyt
hroatandsi
tupst
rai
ghtscr
atchi
ngmy
head.
“
Sthandwasam Icanexpl
ain”
Isay
.
“AndIwouldli
ketostayandl
ist
enbutIhav
ewor
kto
getto”shesaysheadi
ngfort
hedoor.
Iqui
ckl
ygetoutofbedandhur
ryt
othedoorand
bl
ockherway.
“
Nqubekomov
eoutoft
heway
”shesay
s.
“
Notbef
orey
oul
etmeexpl
ain”Isay
.
“
It
’sokayr
eal
l
yIunder
standyouhaveagir
lf
ri
end
t
hatthr
ewmeoutofyourpl
ace”Shesay
s.
“
She’
snotmygi
rl
fr
iendshe’
sjustacr
azyex”Isay
.
Shesmi
l
esandheav
esasi
gh.
“Ibel
ieveyouNqubekonowmov eoutofmyway
becauseifyoudon’
tIwil
lbel
ateforwork”shesay
s
calml
y .
“
Iknowy
ouarenotokayinfactyoubei
ng.t
hiscal
m
t
ell
smeyouar
eboil
inginsi
de”Isay.
“IwouldbeafoolNqubekoi
fIact
ual
l
ythoughtyou
didn’
thavesomeonebecauseatt
hebackofmind
t
hethoughtdidcrossmymi nd,
andIchoset
oignor
e
i
tbecausestupi
dmest i
ll
lov
esyouandwait
edandI
t
houghtyouwerest i
l
linsi
de”shesay
s.
Inodmyheadunder
standi
ngher
.
“
Iam sor
ryt
hatIdi
dn’
twai
tBay
ede”Isay
.
“Whathurt
sthemostisthatthere’
samanoutt here
wholovesmeandhasl ovedmeev ersinceandI
choseyoueventhoughyouwer enothingnotaghost.
Andquitef
rankl
yitwouldbewr ongofmet oexpect
youtobesingl
eNqubekosoy esIunder st
andthat
youhaveanexwhi l
eIdon’t
”shesay s.
Ipul
lhercl
osebutsher
esist
smyadv ancessoIpi
n
heragai
nstt
hedoorandli
ftherup.
“Iam sorryt
hatIchosetostupi
dlylookatanother
woman, Iam sor
rythatwhenIcameoutIdi dn’
tlook
foryoubecausethet r
uthi
sIdidn’tknowifyou
wouldwantmeast hismany ouseeinfrontofyou”I
say.
“
Okayt
henputmedown”
shesay
ssmi
l
ing.
“
Notunt
ily
ouf
orgi
veme”Isay
.
Shesmi
lesandshutshereyesIl
ookatherdi
mpl
es
andl
eanincl
oseforakiss.
Theki
ssdeepensasIrunmyhandsuphert
highs
andsqueezeherar
se.
Thet houghtofmebeingtheonl
ymanwhoseev
er
touchedherliket
hist
urnsmeon.
Ist
il
lcan’
tbel
i
eveshewai
tedshe’
sastightand
sweetasthef
ir
stt
imeshegavehersel
ftome.
Ipul
lawayandl
ookather
.
“
Maythisbethel
astti
meweeverspeakaboutt
hat
maneveragai
nbecausehemi
ghtwantyoubuthe
wi
ll
neverbeme”Isay.
Shewr
apsherhandsar
oundmyneckandki
ssesme.
“
Don’ty
oueverl
eav
emeagai
nNqubekopr
omi
se
me”shesay
s.
Herv
oicei
spl
eadi
ngcomi
ngf
rom apl
aceofneed.
Looki
ngathernowl
uci
dIwantt
oaskhersomany
quest
ions.
Iwantt
olooki
ntoherey
esandsear
chf
oranswer
s
unlocki
ngthosedoorandbul
l
dozi
ngt
hesewal
l
s
she’sbui
ltsohi
gh.
Iam notst
upidIknowshe’
sbr
okenandhol
dingout
butIwanthertotal
ktomeoutofherownf
reewil
l.
“
Ipr
omi
seIwi
l
lnev
erl
eav
eyouagai
n”Isay
.
Iwal
kovert
othebedandl
ayherdoneget
ti
ng
bet
weenherl
egs.
Shegiggl
esandIrememberthi
sist
heverysweet
melodyIl
ongedtohearwhenIwasinpr
ison.
Ihol
dhert
ightandi
nhal
eherscentIhav
emi
ssed
hersomuchmor et
hanany
thi
ng.
“Ican’
tbr
eatheNqubekoy
ouar
eheav
y”shesay
s
gaspingf
orair
.
Il
eancl
oseandki
sshernose.
“
Ilov
eyouBay
ede”Isay
.
Aknockcomest
hroughdi
stur
bingus.
Igetonmyf
eetandsl
i
pint
omypant
sget
ti
ngt
he
door.
“
Somahhashi
”Isaymov
ingoutoft
heway
.
Hecl
ear
shi
sthr
oatandl
ooksatme.
“Morni
ngPhakat
hway
o,Bay
ede”hesay
slooki
ngat
Bayede.
“MorningMrNgubaneandt
hanky
ouf
orl
ett
ingme
staytheni
ght
”shesays.
Hel
ooksatherandsay
snot
hing.
“
Mbomv
uisev
ery
thi
ngokay
”Isay
.
“YesIj
ustcamet
otel
lyout
hatbr
eakf
asti
sready
”
hesays.
“Iam af
rai
dIwon’
tbest
ayi
ngIneedt
obeatwor
k”
Bayedesays.
Il
ookatSomahhashi
slowl
ynodhi
sheadi
n
di
sappoi
ntment
.
Het
urnsandwal
ksaway
.
“St
handwasam pl
easest
ayev
eni
fit
’sj
ustf
or
coff
ee”Isay
.
Shehesi
tant
lynodsherheadf
orci
ngasmi
l
e.
Il
ookatherandpr
ayshe’
snotSomahhashi
’s
daught
erknowi
ngshesuf
fer
edatthehandsofa
manwhowasn’
therf
athermi
ghtdest
royher
.

.
..
..
..
.
Bay
ede’
skeeeper

#30

Nqubeko

Ihav
ebeenholdingontotheDNAr esul
tsforweeks
now,
Iam st
il
lreel
ingf
rom theshockofthenews.
Ican’
tev
enl
ookBay
edei
ntheey
eknowi
ngwhatI
know.
Marctol
dMbomvuthatthet
est
sgotmi
xedupand
t
hatthel
abl
ostBay
ede’s.
Ibeenlooki
ngatt
her
esul
tshopi
ngt
heychangest
o
0.00%.
Thi
nkingabouti
tthismeanst
hatKhethi
wewas
Mbomv u’
sdaughterbuthowbecauseBayede’
s
motherwasmarried.
Ihavebeenaski
ngBayedequest
ionsrelat
ingt
oher
motherbyevery
thi
ngseemstobef oggyormaybe
shedoesn’
twantt
oremember
,
Thingsbet
weenushav
ebeensogoodIwoul
dli
ket
o
keepthem t
hatway
.
Wehav ebeenspendi
ngalotofti
metoget
herandI
havenoti
cedhowsheisrel
iantonpi
l
lsIdon’
ttoset
herof
f.
Itr
iedspeaki
ngt
omymotheraboutt
hei
ssueand
shedidn’
tknowi
twast
hatbad.
IdroppedBay edeof
fatwor
kanddrov
est r
aightt
o
theWar ehousetomeetupwit
hMbomv u.
Ifi
ndhim seat
edi
nhi
sof
fi
cedr
inki
ngf
rom hi
sfi
nest
bott
le.
“
Mbomv
u”Isay
.
Her
aiseshi
sheadandl
ooksatme.
“
Phakat
hway
o”hesay
staki
ngagul
pofhi
sdr
ink.
“
Youcal
l
edSomahhashii
sther
esomet
hingy
ou
woul
dmetodo”Iask.
Heshakeshi
sheadst
andi
ngup.
“
NoIj
ustwant
edt
oseey
ouNqubeko”hesay
s.
“
Wal
kwi
thme”hesay
sheadi
ngout
.
If
oll
owi
nghi
m aswebumpi
ntot
hreeofhi
smen.
“
Mbomv
uwhati
sgoi
ngon”Iask.
“
Whatdoesi
tlookl
i
ke”heasks.
Ichuckl
eandshakemyhead.
“
Itl
ooksl
i
keanambushsetbyy
ou”Isay
.
“
Boy
s”hesay
swav
inghi
shand.
Igi
vehim asi
desmil
eandtakeof
fmysui
tjacket
androl
lupmyshir
tsl
eeves.
Theyal
lst
andr eadyt
ochargetowar
dsme,
onedoes
butIgr
abhim byhisheadbri
ngi
nghimt
otheknees.
Hegoesdownwhi
letheotherholdsmef r
om
behi
nd,
Iel
bowhi
m ont hesi
dehitti
nghisri
bcage
andtwi
sthi
sar
mr eadytodi
slocateit
.
“
Nqubeko”Somahhashi
cal
l
sout
.
“I
fyouwant
edt
oteachmealessonthenyoushoul
d
havecal
l
edNet
haandMandl
akhe”Isay.
“
Nqubeko”hesay
swar
ningl
y.
Il
etgooft
heguy
sar
m andr
aisemyhandsi
ntheai
r.
Anunexpect
edpunchhi
tsmeint
hef
acewi
th
anot
heroneonmystomach.
Igetononekneewhi
l
eanot
herpunchl
andsonf
ace
repeat
edl
y.
Twoofthem hol
dmeupwhil
ethemuscl
eonehi
ts
meonthefaceandst
omach.
“
That
’senough”Somahhashi
say
s.
Theyl
etgoofmeandIst
aggerf
all
i
ngonmyknees.
Isl
owl
yst
andupandl
ookathi
m.
“
That
’sf
orgoi
ngbehi
ndmyback”hesay
s.
“AndIhav
eneverhadt
odot hatbecauset
he
Somahhashi
Iknowwouldneverkeepanyt
hingf
rom
me”Isay.
“
Idi
dn’
tkeepany
thi
ngf
rom y
ouNqubeko”hesay
s.
“Youwentbehi
ndBayede’sbackanddi
daDNAt
est
onherwit
houtherconsent”Ishout
.
“
Iwant
edt
obesur
eNqubeko”heshout
sback.
“She’
sbeenthr
oughsomuchSomahhashi
ifshe
fi
ndsyouthaty
ouareherf
atheri
twi
l
ldest
royher”I
say.
“
Keepi
ttoy
our
sel
fdon’
ttel
lhert
het
rut
h”Isay
.
Heshakeshi
sheadanddeepl
ysi
ghs.
“Iwishitwasthatsi
mplebutIcan’
tshe’
smy
daughterandsheneedst oknow,
sheneedstoknow
thatshe’snotal
onethatshehasafamil
y”hesays.
“Wherewereyouwhentheysuf
fer
edbecause
knowingBayedet
hat
’soneofthi
ngsshe’
sgoingt
o
askyou”Isay.
“Whydidyouabandont
hem di
dyouev
enknowt
hey
exi
sted”Iask.
“Idi
dn’tknowsheexist
edbecausehermotherandI
partedway sIassumewhenshewasalready
pregnant”hesays.
“
WhathappenedSomahhashi
”Iask.
“
Nokwanda’
sfamil
ydidn’
twantmetheythought
t
hei
rdaught
erdeserv
edonlyt
hebestandIwasn’t
t
hat
,t
heyarr
angedforhert
omarryapoli
cemana
manwhohadast eadyjobandwoul
dsuppor
ther
i
nst
eadofhersupport
inghim.
Hadherfami
lywai
tedl
ongenoughIwoul
dhav
e
pr
oventhem wr
ongbutt
heydidn’
t.
Idi
dwhatanymanwoul ddo,Itookmychi
ldr
enand
l
eftbutmyheartstay
edbehindbecauseKhethi
we
wasleftbehi
nd”hesaysrubbinghisey
es.
Heoncetol
dmet hathestr
uggledasanadvocat
e
hadtost
artatt
hebottomsbeforeworki
nghisway
uptobei
ngwhohei stoday
.
“It
ookNethaandleftZamo’stwi
nbecauseshewas
asickl
ychi
ldandIcouldn’tt
akecar
eofher,
she
neededhermotherbutthenwhenIcamebackfor
herIwastol
dthatshediedandthatNokwandalef
t
wit
hherhusband”Hesay s.
Myeyeswidenatther
evel
ati
ont
hatZamoi
s
Khet
hiwe’
stwin.
“
Mbomv
uyout
ookt
woandl
eftone”Iask.
“ShewassickNqubekoandIhadtochoose,
she
neededhermothermorethansheneededmeand
ther
e’snev
eradaythatgoesbyt
hatIdon’
tthi
nk
aboutmybabygir
l”hesays.
Iwanttoshoutathi
m andtel
lhi
m al
lthedespi
cabl
e
thingsSabel
odi
dtoKhethi
webutIam notoneto
kickamanwhenhe’sdown.
“Yourloveforherr emindsmeofthatIhadwit
hher
mot her,
Il
ov edherNqubekosomuchbutshe
couldn’tf
ightforusany moreGodknowsthatshe
tri
edbutherf atherwasonehellofman”hesays
chuckli
ngl i
kehe’sr emini
sci
ng.
“Nokwandawasbeaut i
ful
justli
keBayedet
hose
dimplesthatshehas,
shegotthem f
rom me”hesay
s
proudly
.
Il
ookathim andseether
esemblenceit
’sfunnyhow
l
ongIhaveknownt hemanbutnevernoti
cedhowhe
shar
edfeat
ureswithBayedet
henagainItoo
wantedt
oforgetmypast.
“
Isweartoal
lthosecamebefor
emeherfamil
ytol
d
methatKhet
hiwedied,
theyl
i
edtomeandshenever
t
oldmeshewascar ryi
ngmychil
d”hesay
s.
“
Ineedt
otel
lherNqubekoIhav
en’
tbeensl
eepi
ng
t
hinki
ngaboutt
hismat
ter
”hesay
s.
“DoesNet
haandZamoknowaboutt
hei
rmot
her
”I
ask.
“
Itol
dthem t
hatt
hei
rmot
herdi
ed”hesay
s.
“Youarenodi
ffer
entfr
om Nokwanda’
sfami
l
y”Isay
grabbi
ngmyjacket.
“
Isupposey
ourwi
feknowsev
ery
thi
ng”Isay
.
Hesl
owl
ynodshi
shead.
“Di
nnerisat7tomorroweveni
ng,Iwi
l
l sendyou
dir
ecti
onstoherhousethenyoucantellhert
he
tr
uth”Isay.
“
Thanky
ouNqubeko”hesay
s.
“Don’
tthankmeMbomv unotwhenyouaregoi
nggo
todropabombshellonherandhurtheri
nthewor
st
possibl
eway”Isayheadingout
.
“YouareabouttoripheropenherheartandIdon’
t
knowhowt ofeelaboutthat
.Inevert
houghtIwould
tel
lanyoneaboutthisi
twasmeantt obesomet hi
ng
wet aketot
hegrave.
Youwer
eri
ghtt
hefir
stti
mey
oumetmeIhadnev
er
ki
ll
edamanbef
ore”Isay
.
Helookstakenabackandcl
encheshi
sjawshi
sey
es
ar
ebloodshotred.
Il
eav
ehi
mther
est
ewi
ngi
nthebi
tt
ert
rut
h.

Ispendt
her
estoft
hedayatt
hebardr
inki
ngj
ustt
o
cal
m myner
vesdown.
“Icoul
dn’
thel
pnot
icethatyourar
eallal
one”Irai
se
myheadandseeaslim beauti
ful
ladyst
anding
besideme.
She’
sweari
ngabl ackshirtt
hathassl
itonhert
high
andwhit
eshir
ttuckedinherbreasti
sintheopen
andshe’
swearingglasses.
“
Becca”shesay
ssmi
l
ingext
endi
ngherhand.
“
Nqubeko”Isay
.
“Ipr
omiseIdon’
tbi
tenotunl
essy
ouaskmet
oo”
shesay
s.
Icl
earmyt
hroatwhenshepl
acesherhandonmy
t
highr
unni
ngi
tupmycr
otch.
Imoveherhandf
ini
shthel
astofmydrink,
tempted
asIam Bay
edewouldbecr
ushedifIev
erdot hi
s.
“
Ishoul
dgoi
twasni
cemeet
ingy
ouBeccky
”Isay
.
Shel
eanscloseandshov
esabusi
nesscar
dinsi
de
mypocket
s.
“
It
’sBeccaandyoucancal
lmeany
time”shesay
s
wal
kingaway.
Igr
abmycarkey
sandwal
koutheadi
ngt
omycar
.

Idrovet
oBay ede’
splaceandshefr
eakedoutseei
ng
thebrui
seonmyf acebutIli
edandsaidi
twas
boxingt
hing.
Thehousesmel
l
samazingIl
eanagai
nstt
hef
ri
dge
andl
ookathowper
fectshei
s.
“
What
”sheaskst
urni
ngt
olookatme.
“
Not
hingIj
ustl
ovey
ou”Isay
.
“Il
oveyout
oo”shesay
sgoi
ngbackt
odi
cingher
carr
ots.
Imov
ecl
oserandhol
dherwai
stki
ssi
ngherneck.
Idon’
tthi
nkIwi
l
lev
ergett
ir
edofmaki
ngl
ovet
oher
.
“
Nqubekost
op”shesay
s.
Imovemyhandsi
nsi
dehert
opandsqueezeher
br
east
.
Shesl
owl
ylet
sgooft
hekni
feandsof
tl
ymoans.
“
Shoul
dIst
op”Iask.
“
No”shesay
s.
Itur
nherar oundandki
sshertakingoffhertopwhile
sheunbuttonsmypants,
Iful
l
yt akethem offleav
ing
mybr i
efson.
Il
ookintohereyesandrunmyhandsdownher
cheeksandgrabherneckpul
l
inghert
ome.
Ipul
ldownherti
ghtf
oll
owedbyhert
hongwi
tha
smil
eonmyf ace.
Sheput
sherhandi
nsi
demybr
ief
sbi
ti
ngherl
i
ps.
Shegent
lygr
absmycr
otchandt
hatt
urnsmeon.
Icl
osemyey
esatt
hef
eel
ofhersof
thands
massagi
ngme.
Ili
ftherupandplaceheront
heki
tchencount
erand
tur
nof ft
hestov
e.
“
Nqubeko”shesay
s.
“
Ineedy
ouMamhl
ongo”Isay
.
Shelooksmei ntheey
eandpul
l
sdownmybr
ief
s
noddingherhead.
Ipar
therl
egsandcupherbr
eastmassagi
ngt
hem.
Shesof
tl
yst
rokesmycockandpul
l
smecl
oser
.
Ibr
ushupagai
nstherwetf
leshandpusht
ipofmy
cor
kin.
Shegaspshol
dingont
omyshoul
der
s.
“
Ahh”shesay
scl
osi
ngherey
es.
If
eel
herf
leshonmi
neandt
rembl
ecl
enchi
ngmy
j
aws.
Bei
nginsi
deheri
samazi
ngt
hebestf
eel
i
ngi
nthe
worl
d.
Imov
esi
deway
sandst
artsl
owl
yst
roki
ngand
t
hrust
ingi
nandoutofhert
inyhol
e.
Wearebot
hhol
dingey
econt
actwhi
l
eIgoi
nandout
ofher
.
Ideepl
ythrusti
nandshescr
eamsoutwrappi
ngher
armsaroundmyneckholdi
ngmeti
ght.
Iwrapmyarmsar
oundherwai
stmov
ingt
hem t
oher
sof
tarse.
Iwal
ktot
hebedr
oom wi
thherst
il
li
nmyar
ms.
Il
ayheront
hebedbutshepushesmeoutandt
urns
get
ti
ngonherkneeschestdown.
Ispankherbeautif
ular
seandst
okemy
sel
fpar
ti
ng
herbuttcheeks.
Shetr
iesrunningof
fbutIgr
abherwai
standsl
owl
y
pushmy sel
fin.
“
OhhPhakat
hway
o”shesay
s.
Igr
abherwai
standf
ull
ythr
usti
ngoi
ngi
nandout
.
Herhandsgrabont
othebedcoverswhil
eMyhand
pushesherdownasIf
*ckhersensel
ess.
Herwhol
ear
sei
sinf
ull
viewst
icki
ngoutj
ustf
orme
Ithi
nkaboutMbov
uandwhat
’st
ocomet
omor
row
andgohard.
Ther
oom i
sfi
l
ledwi
thhermoansandscr
eams.
Ipul
loutandl
ookatmysti
ffcor
kasIaboutt
ocum I
can’
thol
donanylonger
.
Ipushedtheti
pofmycor
kandcl
oseyey
essl
owl
y
str
okingher
.
Shescreamshar
dwhenIf
ull
ythr
usti
nandcome
i
nsideher.
Ipullherupandhol
dhercloseagai
nstmybody
grabbingherhai
rwhi
leIpumpedallofmyseed
i
nsideher .
Ipul
loutandt
urnherar
oundt
oki
sshersweat
y
for
ehead.
Ist
epofft
hebedandwal
koutheadi
ngt
oher
bat
hroom.
If
il
lthebat
htubwi
thsomewat
eroi
l
sandf
oam.
Iwalkbacktoherbedr
oom andf
indhersl
eepi
ngon
hersideexhaust
ed.
“
Baby
”Isayki
ssi
nghershoul
der
.
Shel
azi
l
yopensherey
esandsmi
l
es.
“
Mmm”shesay
s.
“
Comel
et’
sgety
oucl
eanedup”Isay
.
Shewrapsherar
msaroundmyneckwhenIl
i
fther
uptaki
nghertot
hebathr
oom.
Sheshr
iekswhenIpl
aceheri
nsi
det
hewar
m wat
er.
“
Phephi
sa”Isay
.
“
It
’ssor
e”shesay
spout
ingherl
i
ps.
Igeti
nbehi
ndherandbr
inghercl
oserki
ssi
ngher
head.
“
Ilov
eyou”Isay
.
“Il
oveyout
ooPhakat
hway
o”shesay
shol
dingmy
hand.
Iuset
heot
heronet
odr
awci
rcl
esonhershoul
der
.

.
..
..
..
..
.
Bay
ede’
skeeper

#31

Ihavebeenbusyalldaylongr
unningar
oundtryi
ng
toworkont hedatamanagementandanalysi
softhe
fi
nanci
alrecordsofNgubaneconstr
uct
ion.
Ihavebeenmovi
ngmoneyt
oandfrom di
ff
erent
account
stry
ingt
obal
ancet
hei
rbooks.
LikeIpredi
ctedt
heyareinsomemessymoney
l
aunderingappar
entl
ytheiraccount
antst
olef
rom
them andranaway.
Idon’
tgetwhyLi
am want
sust
oassoci
atewi
thsuch
peopl
e.
Iam yett
oaskNqubekowhathedoesf
orMr
Ngubanebecausehenev
ertol
dme.
Thedoorofmyof
fi
ceopensupandZami
l
ewal
ksi
n.
Ir
emov
emygl
assespl
aci
ngt
hem asi
de.
Shewal
ksi
nandset
tl
esdownl
ooki
ng
uncomf
ort
abl
e.
“
Hi”shesay
s.
“
Hey
”Isay
.
Shesmil
esandpl
acesherphoneont
het
abl
enex
tto
herbag.
Anawkwar
dsilencepausesbet
weenust
il
lshe
cl
ear
shert
hroat.
“
Bay
edeImi
ssy
ou”shesay
s.
Apartofmemisseshert
oobutaf
terwhatshesai
dI
can’
tgoback.
“
Imi
ssy
out
oo”Isay
.
“GreatbecauseIr
eal
lyneedmyfri
endbackandt
he
clubhasn’tbeent
hesamewithout
”shesays.
InodmyheadIhaven’
tbeentothecl
ubi
nweeks
Nqubekoandwor
khav ebeenkeepi
ngmebusy
.
“LookIknowIsai
damout
hful
andIam sor
ry”she
says.
“
It
’sokayi
t’
swat
erundert
hebr
idge”Isay
.
“Socanwehangoutt
oni
ghtj
ustt
het
woofus”she
says.
“
Iam af
rai
dIcan’
ttoni
ghtIam hav
ingt
hisdi
nner
t
hingwi
thNqubeko”Isay
.
Shesmi
l
eswi
deandcl
aspsherhandst
oget
her
.
“That
’sgr
eatmaybeIcanj
oiny
ouandf
inal
l
ymeet
him”shesays.
“
It
’saf
ami
l
ythi
ngZami
l
esoIam sor
ry”Isay
.
Shesl
owl
ynodsherheadandgr
absherbag.
“
OkayIsee”shesay
sst
andi
ngup.
“
Zami
lei
t’
snotli
kef
orr
eal
Ican’
ttoni
ghtmay
be
t
omor
row”Isay
.
“I
t’
sokayIunder
standImeanIshoul
dhav
ecal
l
ed
befor
ecominghere”shesay
s.
“Ishoul
dleav
esoy
oucangogetbackt
owor
k”she
says.
“
Isi
tfi
nei
fIcal
lyou”Iask.
Shenodsherhead.
“
Any
time”shesay
s.
“
Great
”Isay
.
Thewholeconversati
onf el
tweir
dandIdidn’
twant
tof
latouttel
lherthatIcannotbefr
iendswit
hher
anymore.

Il
eftworkearl
ysoIcoul
dpr
eparefort
oni
ght
NqubekosaidMrandMrsNgubanewouldbej
oini
ng
usfordi
nner.
Idon’
tknowwhybutseeingt
hatt
hemani
shi
sboss
i
t’
stheleastt
hatIcando,
Imadesomelambcurryandbasmat
iri
cewi
th
chi
ckenf
il
leti
ncr
eam sauceandasal
ad.
Imadecheesecakef
ordeser
tandboughtsome
wineandt
ookabot t
leofwhi
skyf
rom Nqubeko’
s
pl
ace.
Isett
het
abl
eandheadt
othebat
hroom t
ofr
eshen
up.
Iwearsimplej
eansbl
ackt
opandheel
sandappl
y
somelipgl
osstyi
ngmyhai
r.
Thebathroom dooropensandNqubekowalksi
n,
he
wrapshisarmsaroundmywai standki
ssesmy
cheek.
“
Sthandwasam”hesay
stur
ningmet
ofacehi
m.
Iwrapmyhandsar
oundhi
snextanddeepent
he
ki
ssthenpul
laway
.
Hesmi
l
esandhol
dsmyhandki
ssi
ngi
t.
Ifi
xhiscol
larandpressmyhandsonhi
schest
dusti
ngoffhisshoul
ders.
“
Howwasy
ourday
”Iask.
“
Justadayandy
our
s”heasks.
“
Itwasi
nter
est
ingt
hanky
ouf
oraski
ng”Isay
.
“Youl
ookbeaut
if
ul”hesaysput
ti
nghi
shandsi
nthe
backpocket
sofmyjean.
“
Aret
heyher
e”Iask.
“
Yes”hesay
s.
“
Andy ousaynothi
ngweshoul
dn’tkeepoutguest
s
wai
ti
ng,comelet
’sgoandgett
hisoveranddone
wi
th”Isaypul
li
nghishand.
Wemakeourwayt otheli
vi
ngr
oom andf
indt
he
Ngubane’
sal
readyseat
ed.
Igr
eetbothoft
hem andaskNqubekot
opourt
hem
somethi
ngtodri
nk.
“
Letmehelpyouwi
tht
hef
ood”Thebeaut
if
ulmr
s
Ngubanesay
s.
“
Noit’
sokayMay
ousi
tdownandIwi
l
lbr
ingt
he
f
ood”Isay
.
Ibr
ingthedi
shesandplacethem ont
het
abl
e
set
tli
ngdownnexttoNqubeko.
Hepour
sev
ery
thi
ngadr
inkandpour
smej
uice.
“
Youdon’
tdr
ink”Mr
sNgubaneask.
Ishakemyheadwi t
ht hevoi
ceandhal
l
uci
nat
ions
andmedicat
ionIcan’tri
skit
.
“
NoIdon’
t”Isay
.
“
Thef
oodl
ooksamazi
ng”MrNgubanesay
s.
“
Ihopei
ttast
esgood”Isay
.
MrsNgubaneplat
esupf orherhusbandwhi
l
eIdo
t
hesamef orNqubeko.
Ev
eryonest
art
seat
ingandcompl
i
ment
ingmy
di
shes.
“
Sthandwasam Ishoul
djustmar
ryy
ouonce”
Nqubekosay
s.
MrNgubaneviol
ent
lycoughsandr
eachesf
ora
gl
assofwaterandt
akesasip.
“
Babaar
eyouokay
”hi
swi
feasks.
“
Iam okay
”hesay
slooki
ngatNqubeko.
“
AndIguesst
heLobol
awoul
dgot
oBandi
l
e”Isay
l
aughi
ng.
“
IsBandi
l
eyourf
ather
”Mr
sNgubaneasks.
“Il
ostbothmypar ent
s,Bandilewasmybrotheri
n
l
awhewasdat i
ngmysi sterwhopassedawayand
hewaski ndenoughtot akemei nwhenwe
rel
ocated”Isay
.
“
He’
sthebr
otherInev
erhad”Isay
.
Wecont
inueeat
ingandt
alki
ngaboutf
ami
l
yandmy
wor
k.
Il
ookatmrNgubanewhosepl
atei
sempt
yand
smi
l
e.
“
Woul
dli
kemor
ebaba”Iask.
Hel
ooksatmeandsmi
l
esshaki
nghi
shead.
“
Mayoushoul
dhavecamewi t
hZamoandNet hathe
f
oodwoul
dhavebeenenoughforal
lofus”Isay.
MrNgubanecl
ear
shi
sthr
oatandl
ooksatNqubeko.
“
Baby
”Nqubekpsay
slooki
ngatme.
Il
ookathi
m andsheepi
shl
ysmi
l
eitf
eel
sgood
havi
nghi
mi nmyli
fe.
“
Yes”Isay
.
“
Idon’
tnowhowtosaythi
sbutthere’ssomet
hing
t
hatyouneedt
oknow”hesaysholdingmyhand.
“
Sabel
owasnoty
ourf
ather
”hesay
s.
It
akemyhandbackandf
rownl
ooki
ngatourguest
s.
“
NqubekomayIspeakt
oyoupr
ivat
ely
”Isay
.
Hecan’tj
ustsaysomet
hingt
hisbol
dinf
rontofour
guest
s.
“
Babyl
i
stent
ome”hesay
s.
“
Nqubekopl
ease”Isay
.
“
Bay
ede”MrNgubanesay
s.
Il
ookathi
m ashest
ruggl
est
ofi
ndt
her
ightwor
ds.
“
Iam y
ourf
ather
”hebl
urt
sout
.
Il
ookathi
m andt
henhi
swi
feandheav
easi
gh.
“
Whatisgoingonher
efi
rstyout
ellmethatMhl
ongo
wasnotf
athernowyout
ellmethatyouaremy
f
ather
.
Nqubekowhatthehell
isgoingonher
ewhyi
sthi
s
mansayinghe’
smyf ather
”Iask.
“
Becausehei
sst
handwasam”hesay
slooki
ngi
nto
myeyes.
Ichuckl
eandhi
tthet
abl
elaughi
ng.
“Wowt hat’
sreal
lyagoodonesot hismanher
eismy
fat
herandMhl ongowasn’
tmyf atheri
sthi
sajoke
becauseifiti
stheni
t’
snotfunny”Isay.
“
Swaz
ipl
easegi
vehert
hepi
ctur
e”hesay
s.
Hi
swi f
ereachesi
nsi
deherbagandhandsmeanol
d
pi
ctur
e.
Ilookatthepi
ctur
eandit’
shi
m andmymot
herwi
th
threeki
dsbesi
dest hem.
Il
ookatthepict
ureproper
lyandseet
hatt
hesmall
boyisNethabutImakeoutthetwogi
rl
shangi
ng
overhi
sarms.
“
NqubekouMal
ona”Isay
.
“Whatisshedoi
ngwi
thy
ouandwhoar
etheset
wo
gir
ls”Iask.
“
Thoseareyoursi
ster
sZamoandKhethi
wet
hey
wer
efrat
ernalt
wins”Ngubanesay
s.
“
What
”myshakyv
oicecomesoutl
ow.
Ithi
nkbackt
othei
rhouseandr
emembert
hepi
ctur
e
Isawonthewall
.
“
Noy
ouar
enotmyf
ather
”Isay
.
“Yesheissi
si.Bheki
zi
zweisyourf
atherandNetha
toget
herwit
hZamoar ey
ourbl
oodsibli
ngs”hi
swife
says.
Ishakemyheadandl
ookatt
hismansai
dtobemy
fat
her.
Tear
sfi
l
lmyeyesmynosef
lar
ingIst
andupf
rom
mychai
randheadf
ort
hedooropeni
ngi
t.
“
Pleasel
eav
e”Isay
.
Theyl
ookatmeandt
heneachot
her
.
“Pl
easeleav
emyhousenowbef
oreIcal
lthepol
i
ce”
Ishout
.
“
Bay
edepl
easel
etmeexpl
ain”Ngubanesay
s.
“Idon’tneedyout
oexplai
nleav
e”Isaytr
yingt
ostay
calm butmyhandsshakeandmyt ear
sjustpr
ickmy
eyesfalli
ng.
“
Bay
edecal
m down”Nqubekosay
s.
“Stayoutoft
hisNqubeko”Isaypoi
nti
ngmyf
ingerat
him.
“Youofal
lpeopl
eknowhowmuchwesuf fer
ed
stay
ingwit
hthatman,
herobbedusofourchildhood
NqubekoIwouldcometoyourhouseescapi
ngt he
beati
ngs.
Iwoul
dleavemysist
eral
onewit
hthatmonst
erofa
mannotknowinghewasrapi
ngher”Il
ookat
Ngubaneandwipemytear
s.
“
Wher ewereyouwhenhewasrapi
ngmysist
erfor
year
shuh,whenhewouldcomeint
omyroom and
molestmeandIwasjustachi
l
d.
Whenhewoul dstarveusandbeatusupwherewer e
you,Whenhekil
l
edmymot herandshotheri
ncold
bloodandIst
oodt herewatchi
ngwherewereyou.
Her apedherr epeat
edlyunti
l
lshewascar r
yinghi
s
chil
dandwentont obeatherint
oapulpandshelost
thebaby .It
ookhert othehospit
alNqubekowas
ther
eheknowsbecausehespentani ghtinpri
son
forhit
tingthatman.
Doyouknowwhatt
hatmonst
erdidaf
ter
war
ds”I
askl
ooki
ngathi
swif
ewipehert
ears.
“
Bay
ede”Nqubekosay
s.
“Hefetchedherfrom hospit
alandrapedheral
l
night
,Iwalkedinonhimr api
ngherandy ouknow
whatIdi dItookanaxeandki l
ledhi
mi ncol
dblood”
Hiswi f
egaspsput t
ingahandov erhermouth.
“
Ikil
ledhi
mforhur
ti
ngmysi st
erbuthewasn’
tdone
wit
husbecauseamont hort
woafterhi
sdeat
ha
vi
deoofKhet
hiwedruggedandbei
ngrapedbyhi
m
wasleaked”Isaysi
nki
ngt
othef
loorhol
dingmy
chest
.
“Shewasti
redandshecoul
dn’
thol
donanyl
onger
notevenf
orme.
sheki
l
ledhersel
fandleftmeallal
onemysi
ster
ki
ll
edher
selfbecauseofthatmanwhom wethought
wasourfat
her.
Wesuffer
edatt
hehandsofthatmanwhom we
t
houghtwasoutfat
herdoy
ouknowhowscar r
ing
t
hati
s”
Hewi
peshi
stear
shi
swi
fehol
dinghi
m.
“
Nothingyousaywil
l makeupforwhatIwent
t
hroughnorwil
litbr
ingmysist
erback”Isay.
“Iwi
shy ouhadn’
ttol
dmet hatyouarefather
becausenowIblamey ouforherdeat
h,hadyoubeen
ther
ewewoul dhavebeensafeandshewoul dn’
t
havekil
l
edhersel
f”Isay.
“
Somahhashi
Ithi
nky
oushoul
dleav
e”Nqubekosay
s.
“Shewasn’tsupposedt
odi
ePhakat
hway
onotmy
sist
erImisshersomuch”hehol
dsmeti
ghtasI
br
eaki
ntoasob.
Thi
sisthefi
rstt
imeIhav
ecr
iedt
hismuchsi
ncemy
si
ster
spassi
ng.
Ngubanest
andsupandl
ooksatme
“
Iam sor
..
..
”heholdshi
schestbefor
ehecanf
ini
sh
t
hewordsandfal
lstogroundwhizzi
ng.

.
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
Sponsor
ed

I
ts
Bay
ede’
skeeper

#32

Theambul ancej ustl

eftwi
thNgubanet hemedics
tr
iedtost abil
isehi mtheyweren’
tspecif
icaboutthe
mat t
erbutt heyconcludedthathemi ghthavehada
heartattack.Ididn’tf
eelanyt
hingwhenhef eelandI
don’tfeelanythingnowasNqubekoi sholdi
ngme
calmingmedown.
Iam angr
yatmymot herforsay
ingnothingwhen
sheknewthetr
uth,
Iam angrythatKhethiwedi
ed
wit
houtseei
nghertwin.
Iam sadt
hatshedi
edbeli
evi
ngt
hatmanwasour
fat
herwhenhewasn’
t,
itnowmakessensewhyhe
nev
erf
eltr
emor
sef
ull
yforwhathewasdoi
ngt
ous.
Hecouldn’
t,
Imeanwewer en’
thi
skidsaf
teral
lbut
st
il
lthatmanrai
sedusandwithal
lhesti
l
lcoul
dn’t
l
oveus.
Iwi
pemyt ear
sthi
nkingaboutall
thet i
mesmysi st
er
shi
eldedmef r
om thatmonsterandshet ookal
lthe
physi
calandemotionalpai
nfrom thatman,
Ithi
nkaboutal
ltheot
herti
messhewassadandi
n
painbutst
il
lsmil
edandassur
edmethatwer
egoi
ng
tobeokay.
Shewasn’ tsupposedtodi
enotli
kethatshewas
supposedt oholdon,butt
henshewast oobroken
herspi
rithadlongdiedandIwastoogulli
bletosee
i
t.
IwishIcoul
dbr
ingherbackt
oli
fesoshecansee
hertwi
nandseethi
smanwhocl ai
mstobeour
fat
her.
If
eel
Nqubeko’
shandonmycheekswi
pingmyt
ear
s.
Hepull
smeupandmakesmesi
tupst
rai
ghtl
ooki
ng
athi
m.
“Iam sor
ryst
handwasam”
(Iam sor
rymyl
ove)He
says.
“
Hecan’
tbemyf
atherNqubeko”Isay
.
Henodshi
sheadanddeepl
ysi
ghs.
“
Butheissthandwasam(mylov
e)thatmanisyour
f
atherandnowhe’si
nthehospi
tal
fight
ingf
orhis
l
i
fe”Hesays.
Iknowhe’swor
ri
edbecausehe’
sbeenont
hecal
l
withNet
haaski
nghi
mf orupdat
es.
“
Idon’
twanthi
mtobemyf
ather
”Isay
.
“Bay
edeyoucan’
tsaythatwhethery
oul
i
kei
tornot
Somahhashi
isyourf
ather”Hesays,
“Uyamkhul
umel
aNqubeko?
”(ar
est
andi
ngupf
orhi
m)
Iask.
Heshakeshisheadl
ooki
ngatmewi
tht
hesof
tness
i
nhiseyes.
“Angi
mkhulumelist
handwakodwasi khonaisi
zathu
sokut
hiengakazewabakhonaempilweniyakho
ngobowayengazinokut
hiukhona”
(Iam notstanding
upforhi
m myl ovebutt
here’
sareasonwhyhewas
neveri
ny ourli
fe,
Heknewnot
hingabouty
our
exi
stence”)hesays.
“
khet
hiwey
ena?
”(howaboutkhet
hiwe)Iask.
“
Theyt
oldhi
mthatshedi
ed”Hesay
s.
“
Whydi
dhel
eav
eheri
nthef
ir
stpl
ace”Iask,
“
Becauseshewasasi ckl
ychil
dandsheneededy
ou
mother
’sat
tent
ion”hesays.
“IknowMbomvuandhewoul
dneverabandonhi
s
chil
drent
hatmanl
oveshi
ski
ds”Hesays.
“Iguessy
ouar
egoi
ngt
oaskmet
ofor
giv
ehi
m”I
say.
Hel
ooksatmeandsay
snot
hingr
ightt
her
eIhav
e
myanswer
.
“
Nqubekohowdoy
ouknowal
ltheset
hings”Iask.
“
Phakat
hwayohowdoy ouknowt
hatt
hismani
s
r
eal
lymyfat
her
?”Iask.
“
Bay
ede”Hesay
ssof
tl
y.
“
Phakathwayongi
phendul
e”(
Phakat
hway
oanswer
me)Ishout
“HehadaDNAtestdoneonyouandt
her
esul
ts
camebackposi
ti
ve”Hesays.
“
When”Iask.
“
Afewweeksago”Hesay
s.
Myey eswi
dent
hismanknewal
lal
ongandsai
d
not
hingtome.
“UbuwaziNqubekowat
hul
awangasholutho”(
you
knewallt
histi
meandyoukeptqui
et)Isay.
“Idi
dn’
tknowhowt
otel
lyoust
handwasam”he
says.
“
Yety
ouwereabl
etosleepnextmeandmakelov
e
t
omebutyoucoul
dn’
ttell
met het
rut
h”Isay
.
“
Bay
edet
hat
’snotf
air
”hesay
s.
“What
’snotf
airi
sthaty
oukeptt
het
rut
hfr
om me”I
shout
.
“
Itwasn’
tmyt
rut
htot
ell
”Hesay
s.
“
PhumaNqubeko”Isay
.
“
Bay
edcal
m down”Hesay
s.
Igr
abhi
scarkeyandphonet
hrowi
ngt
hem hi
sway
.
“
Leav
e”Isay
.
“
Iam notgoi
ngany
wher
enotwheny
ouar
eli
ket
his”
Hesays.
InodmyheadandgrabaJackett
henmycarkeys
walki
ngoutoft
hebedr
oom headi
ngtot
heki
tchen.
Hefol
lowsbehi
ndmeandgr
abt
hecarkey
sthen
bl
ocksmyway >
“
Mov
eoutofmywayNqubeko”Isay
.
“Tell
mewher eyouar
egoi
ngatt
hist
imeoft
he
night”heasks.
“
Iwantt
ogetawayf
rom y
ou”Isay
.
Hemov
escl
oserandki
ssesmyf
orehead.
“Hambolal
aBayedengiyabonaukhat
hel
e”(“Goto
bedBayedeIcanseeyou’r
etir
ed”)hesayscal
mly.
Mychestheav
esasIbi
temyl
owerl
i
p,
“
Youdon’
tunder
standNqubekoy
oudon’
t”Isay
.
“
Wheny
ouhur
tIhur
tsoIunder
standmor
ethan
any
one”hesay
s.
“Whati
fhehur t
smeli
ket
hatmandid,whati
fhe
doesn’
tlov
emebecausehenev
erraisedmeIwon’
t
handl
ethat”Isay.
Hebr
ingsmecl
oset
ohi
sar
ms.
“IknowSomahhashi andhelovesyoualreadyhefel
t
thatlov
et hefir
stt
imehesawy ou,babyIam not
sayingforgiv
eandforgetev
ery
thingnowbutal l
ow
himt oexplai
n.
Maybethi
sisexactl
ywhatyouneedtohealandIwi
l
l
beherehol
dingyourhandwhatev
erhappensIam
notgoi
ngany wher
e”hesays.
“AndIam sor
ryf
orkeepi
ngt
het
rut
hfr
om y
ou”He
says.
“Ngi
cel
auyekelentoy
okuzi
zwisa
ubuhl
ungu”
(pleasest
ophurt
ingyour
sel
fhesay
s).
“Iwi
llhol
dyouni
ghtlongandlety
oucryyoureyes
outbutyouar
enotleavi
ngthehouse”hesays
l
eadingmebacktothebedroom.
Iwokeuptoanotenextt
omeNqubekol ef
tear
lyi
n
themorni
ngtogocheckuponNgubaneandlef
tme
somebreakf
asti
ntheovenkeepi
ngwarm.
It
ookabat hat
eandleftt
hehouseapartofme
wantedtopassbythehospi
tal
andseehowmr
Ngubaneisdoi
ngbutIwentforthel
att
erandf
ound
myselfatt
heclub.
Iam notsur
ehowhi ski
dswi l
lfeel
seei
ngmeaf
terI
causedthei
rfat
her
’scol
lapse.
Ihavebeensi
tt
ingatbaral
ldayl
ongcont
emplat
ing
whethert
odri
nkornotthetr
uthi
sIdon’
tknowhow
tofeel
.
Iwantt
ofeelsomethingot
herthanthi
sangerand
pai
napartofmewi shestounderst
andandletal
l
thi
sgobuti
tsnotthatsimpl
e.
“Wouldyouli
keany
thi
ngt
odr
inkbossl
ady
”The
bar
tenderasks.
Ifeelagi
tatedasiti
sNqubekot
ookmypi ll
sI
couldn’
tfindanyt
hingi
nthebat
hroom cabi
netori
n
anyofmydr awer
s.
“
Pleasegi
vemeashotj
ustkeept
hem comi
ng”Isay
.
“
Comi
ngr
ightup”Hesay
s.
Hebr
ingsthef
ir
stoneandIgul
piti
nonegoI
al
mostthr
owupbuthehandslemons.
Itakeabit
eofthelemonsl
i
ceandf
igur
eIcan
handlet
hisshott
hing.
Ir
oll
myf
ingercaut
ioni
nghi
mtobr
ingmor
e.
Hel
i
nesupanot
hert
wo
“
Thanky
ou”Isay
.
Ir
aiset
het
woandgul
pthem oneaf
tert
heot
her
.
Thef
eel
ingi
sdiff
erenttheal
cohol
bur
nsmychest
andt
her
eisthi
stingl
ingfeel
i
ngonmytongue.
Irubmyeyeswhenmyv
isi
onbl
ursupl
ookatt
he
bart
ender
.
“
Giv
emey
ourf
inestScot
ti
shbot
tl
e”Isaygi
ggl
i
ng.
Ihavehear
dthesemenshoutf
ort
hewhol
ecl
ubt
o
here.
“
Mam It
hinky
ouhav
ehadenough”Hesay
s.
“Ei
theryoubr
ingmet
hebot
tl
eorIgety
ouf
ir
ed
choose”Isay
.
Hebr
ingst
hebot
tl
eandpl
acesi
tinf
rontofme.
“
Pleaseopeni
tforme”Isay
.
Heopensthebot
tl
eandpl
acesagl
asswi
thsome
i
cecubes.
Iraiset
hebott
leandcl
osemyeyeswhent
he
poisonousl
i
quidhit
smythr
oat
.
Iusemyhandst
opi
ckt
hei
ceandt
hrowi
tinmy
mouth.
Isuddenlyf
eelli
ghtandfr
eeIwai
tforthevoi
cest
o
hitmelikeawavebutinst
eadIt
hinkaboutmy
beauti
fulmother
.
Irememberhermelodiousvoiceandsoftgaze,my
minddri
ft
sbackasIt hinkaboutmykindsisteran
angelonear
ththatshewast oogoodforthisworld.
Thi
sheavysadnesshi
tsmesohar
dIf
ail
tohol
d
mysel
f.
“
Bay
ede”Li
am say
s.
Hel
ooksatt
hebar
tenderf
umi
ng.
“
He’
snotf
ir
edi
fthat
’swhaty
ouar
ethi
nki
ng”
Isay
.
“
”Comeletmet
akey
out
omyof
fi
ce”hesay
shel
ping
meup,
het
akesmet
ohi
sof
fi
ceandof
fer
smeagl
assof
wat
er.
“
Tal
ktomewhat
’sgoi
ngon”hesay
s.
“
Myl
i
fei
samess”Isaybur
ping.
Het
akesaf
ewt
issuesandwi
pesmyt
ear
s.
“
Ihav
eaf
ather
”It
ell
him’
helooksshockedsi
nceheknowst
hatmyf
ather
passedaway.
“
Okaythat’
sagoodthi
ngri
ghtknowi
ngt
hatbast
ard
wasn’
tyourfat
her
”hesay
s.
“
Yes”Isay
.
“
It
sagoodt
hing”Isay
.
Hesmil
esandl
ooksatmer
unni
nghi
shanddown
mycheek.
Weprolongeyecont
actandl
eancl
osehi
sli
psbr
ush
agai
nstmine.
Icl
osemyeyeswhenhi
sli
pspar
tmi
neandhe
deepenst
heki
ss.
Heholdst
hebackofmyheadandkissesme
passi
onat
elyIr
etur
ntheki
ssandputmyhandonhi
s
face>
ThedooropensandZami
l
ewal
ksi
n.
“Iam sor
ryIdi
dn’
tknowy
ouhadcompany
”shesay
s
shutt
ingthedoor
,
“
Dammi
t”Lai
m say
s.
“
Stayher
eIneedgof
ixt
his”hesay
swal
ki
ngout
.
Ihol
dmyl
i
psandgr
abmybagt
aki
ngoutmyphone.
Istandupandwal
koutoft
heof
fi
ceheadi
ngoutt
he
back.
Idi
alNqubeko’
snumberseei
ngt
hatIhav
emany
missedcal
lsfr
om hi
m
Hepi
cksupont
hef
ir
str
ing.
“
Wher
ethehel
lar
eyou”heasks.
“Whoeveri
nvent
edal
cohol
shoul
dbenamed
presi
dent
”Isay.
“
Bay
edear
eyoudr
unk?
”Heasks.
“Mey ouknowIdon’tdri
nkNqubekoar
eyou
accusingofsomething”Iask.
“
Bay
edewer
ear
eyou?
”heasksnocal
mer
“
Doy
our
emembermyaunt
”Iask.
“Thatwomanhurtmeshe’st
hereasonKhethi
weis
deadandshe’
sthereasonmybabyisgone”Isay
wipingmyt
ears.
“OhhIf
eelhotIwanttothr
owup”Isaymov
ingmy
phoneawayfrom f
rom myear
.
Ibendoverandt
hrowupIl
ookatmyphoneandput
i
tbackinsi
demybag.
It
akeafewst
epsdowntheall
eyandputahand
overmyey
eswhenacarbl
indsmyeyesight
.
Iti
l
tmyheadtot
hesi
deandwat
chast
hecar
speedst
owar
dsme.
I
tknocksmedownt
othegr
oundandr
ever
sesaway
.
Bay
ede’
sKeeper

#33

Nqubeko

WhenIgothomeBayedewasn’
taroundIcal
ledthe
of
fi
ceandshewasn’
tther
etri
edcall
ingBandil
eand
hetol
dmethatshewasn’
thome.
Sheev ent
ual
lycal
l
edmeandt ol
dmeshewasatthe
cl
ubt henwentontof
urt
herendthecal
lwhi
l
eshe
st
il
ltalki
ng.
Shementi
onedherauntandshel
ostherbabyhow
thewomanwasthecauseofhersi
ster
’sdeat
h.
Ihavebeenpaci
ngupanddownt ry
ingtocal
lher
backandherphonegoesunanswered.
“
Bayedei
spissi
ngmeshe’
sact
ingl
i
keachi
l
d”Isay
l
ooki
ngatBandi
le.
HegothereafewhoursagowhenItoldhi
mthef
ull
st
oryaboutBayedef
indi
ngherf
ather
.
“
Nqubekocal
m down”hesay
s.
“Bandil
eshe’
sdr
unkwher
evershei
sshe’
sbl
oody
drunk”Isay
.
“Bay
ededoesn’tdr
inkcl
ear
lythi
sthingmessedher
upandshe’slooki
ngforanoutl
et”Hesays.
“Idon’
tcar
eBayedeneedstoknowthatshecan’t
j
ustthrowatant
rum anddi
sappearonusli
kethat”I
say.
“Maybeweshoul
dcal
lLi
am hewi
l
lknowwhatt
odo”
Bandil
esay
s.
“
Final
l
y”Isaywhensheanswer
sherphone,
“
Hel
l
o”Li
am say
s.
Icl
enchmyj
awsandshutmyey
est
hismankeeps
poppi
ngupev
ery
wher
e.
“
Bayedehasbeeni
nacci
dentwear
etaki
nghert
o
t
hehospi
tal
”Hesays.
“
Mar
cisal
readyonst
andbymeetust
her
e”Hesay
s.
Il
ookatBandi
l
eandcl
earmyt
hroat
.
“Bayedewasinaacci
dentweneedt
ogot
othe
hospit
al”Isay
.
IsendamessagetoNethandwat
chasBandi
l
e
grabshi
sphonerunni
ngout
.
Thedri
vetothehospi tal
feel
sli
ket helongestdr
iveI
haveeverhadinmyl if
eIhavenev erbeenthis
scar
edinmyent ir
el i
fenotknowingwhatt oexpect
whenwer eachthere.
“
She’
sgoi
ngt
obeokay
”Bandi
l
esay
s.
Inodmyheadst
eppi
ngoni
t.
Wer eacht
hehospi
tal
andmyhear ti
salready
poundingwi
thMbomv ui
nthehospit
alandnow
BayedeIdon’
tknowwhattodo.
Ipar
kthecarandwat
chBandi
l
erushi
nsi
deIdr
ag
myf
eetf
oll
owi
ngbehi
ndhi
m.
Thehospit
alisinmayhem somanyinj
uredpeopl
e
arebei
ngbroughtinthefearofl
osi
ngherget
sthe
bett
erofmeIf eelmychestti
ght
enasitget
s
di
ffi
cul
ttobreathe.
Myeyesightget
sblur
ryIfeelt
heneedtothrowup
andmakemywayt othebathr
oom,Igetinoneof
thet
oil
etsandthrowupti
llmyeyesightget
sbett
er
andmyhear tst
opspounding.
Iwal
koutandl
ookatmy selfi
nthemirr
orandr
inse
myfaceIdr
apethepapertowelsandwipemyf
ace.
Ihavenev
erexper
iencedsomethi
ngsoi
ntense
befor
eandit
snotagoodf eel
i
ng.
Iwal
koutofthebathr
oom andl
ookf
orBandi
l
eti
l
lI
fi
ndhi
m conv
ersingwit
hLiam.
“
Howi
sshe”Iask?
”.
“
Thedoct
ori
sbusywi
thher
”Bandi
l
esay
s.
“
Thanky
ouf
orbr
ingi
ngheri
n”Isayl
ooki
ngatLi
am,
henodshi
shead.
Mar
cmakeshiswaytousaf
teraf
ewmi
nut
esofus
wai
ti
ngt
ohearfr
om hi
m.
“
Mar
chowi
she”Iask.
“Shehasafewfr
act
uredbones,sprainedneck,
brui
sedri
bsandsomesoftt
issueinjuri
es’Hesays.
“Shewasl
uckyandt
rustmeshe’
singoodhands
she’
sgoi
ngtobeokay”Hesay
s.
“
Iwil
ltakey
outoheroncewear
edone”Mar
csay
s
wal
ki
ngaway .

Thet
hreeofusset
tl
edownandwai
tfort
oseeher
.

“
Nqubeko”Ir
aisemyhead.
“
Baf
o”Isayst
andi
ngup.
“IcameassoonasIhear
dwhathappened”Net
ha
asks.
Il
ookatLi
am andshr
ugmyshoul
der
s.
“
Shewasatt
hecl
ubdr
inki
ngIonl
ylef
theri
nthe
off
iceforafewmi nut
eswhenIcamebackshe
wasn’tther
e,oneofthebouncersfoundheri
nthe
backall
yont hegr
oundbleeding”Hesays.
“
Soi
twasn’
tacaracci
dent
”Bandi
l
esay
s.
“
Ithinksomeonedeli
berat
elyhi
therwi
thacarand
l
eftherther
e”Li
am says.
“
Arey
out
ell
i
ngmet
hatBay
edehasenemi
es”Iask
“
Nott
hatIknowof
f”Li
am say
s.
Il
ookatBandi
l
ewhoshakeshi
shead.
“
Bay
ededoesn’
thav
eenemi
es”hesay
s.
It
urnmyf
ocust
oNet
ha.
“
Iwanty
outof i
ndoutwhodidthi
sNet
habef
orewe
t
ell
Somahhashiany
thi
ng”Isay
.
Henodshi
sheadandt
aki
ngouthi
sphone.
“
Iwil
lcal
lMandl
akherightawayandlethim know
t
hatBayedewi
ll
befine”Hesayssteppingaside.
“
Thanky
ou”Isay
.
Il
ookatLi
am andhe’
saswor
ri
edasIam.
IshakemyheadBayedet
oldmethatt
hismanhasa
gir
lf
ri
endyethe’
sher
ewait
ingonmywomant o
wakeup.
IknowBandil
erespect
stheguyf orev
ery
thi
nghe’s
doneforBay
edebutIwillnotr
espectamanwhose
aft
ermywomanseei ngherepissedmeoffal
ready.
“Li
am”Weal
ll
ookt
othesi
dewhenawomanmakes
herwayt
ous.
Shegiv
esLiam ahughol
dingont
ohi
mlongert
han
sheshoul
d,
“
Thegi
rl
scal
l
edmeLi
am whathappened”sheasks.
“Idon’
tknowZamileoneoft
hebouncer
sfoundher
ontheground”Li
am say
s.
“Iam sosorr
yIknowwhatshemeanstoyou,Ist
il
l
can’
tbeli
eveityoutwower
ejustt
oget
hernownow”
thi
sZami l
egirl
says.
Li
am cl
ear
shi
sthr
oatandl
ooksatme.
“
OhBandi
l
eIam sor
ry”shesay
snowf
aci
ngbandi
l
e.
“
She’
sgoi
ngt
obef
ine”Bandi
l
esay
s.
“
Thi
sisNqubeko”Bandi
l
esay
s.
shef
acesmeandsmi
l
es.
“
Iam Zami
l
e,Bay
ede’
sfr
iend”shesay
s.
Inodmyheadacknowl
edgi
ngherpr
esence.
“
Ineedsomeai
r”Isaywal
ki
ngout
.
Iwal
ktomycarandl
eansagai
nsti
ttaki
ngasmoke.
“
Nqubekor
ight
”Zami
l
esay
s
“
CanIhel
pyou”Iask?
“
NoIjustwant
edtosaythatBayedei
sluckyt
ohav
e
t
hebothofyouinherl
i
fe”Shesays.
“
Ist
her
esomet hi
nginpar
ti
cul
art
haty
ouwantt
otel
l
meZamil
e”Iaskstar
ri
ngdownonher
.
Shecl
ear
shert
hroatandbacksaway
.
“
Nothi
ngjustal
itt
lewarni
ngBayedei
snotthesai
nt
t
hatyouthi
nksheisnotwhenshebusyki
ssingot
her
man”Shesays.
Igrabherbytheneckandbr
inghercl
osert
othecar
pinni
ngheragainsti
t.
Shegr
absmyar
m gaspi
ngf
orai
r.
“Whatdi
dyoujustsay
”Iaskt
ight
eni
ngmyhol
dov
er
hersmal
lneck.
“She’
ski
ssi
ngot
hermanbehi
ndy
ourback“She
says.
Ipr
esshar
dandl
ooki
ntoherey
es.
“
Itwasyouwasn’
tity
our
anherov
er”Isayl
ett
ing
l
oose.
Sheshakesherhead.
“Youarethatdesper
ateforLi
am’
sat
tent
ion”Isay
putt
ingtwoandt wotogether
.
“
Pleasedon’
tki
l
lme”Shesay
s.
Il
eancl
oset
oherear
.
“St
ayawayfrom Bayedei
fyouevercomeany wher
e
nearherIwi
l
l f
eedyoutothedogs”Isayl
ett
inggo.
Shecol
l
apsest
othegr
oundgaspi
ngandcoughi
ng.
Iwalkbackt
oinsi
det
hehospit
alt
ryi
ngtobecal
m
butl
ooseall
mycoolwhenIseeLi
am tal
ki
ngto
Marc.
“
Nqubeko”Net
hacal
l
sout
.
Iwalkpasthi
m andgot
oLi
am punchi
nghi
mint
he
face.
Hethrowsonebackatmebutt hatl
andsonmyj aw
hethrowsanothersuckerpunchbutIblockitand
andlockhi
mi nwithmyar m aroundhisthr
oat.
“St
ayawayfrom Bayedeshe’
snoty
oursandshewi
l
l
neverbey
oursdoy oursel
fafav
ourandfi
nd
someoneyourage”Isay .
“Nqubekolethi
m gothi
sisn’
tabouty
out
woi
ts
aboutBayede”Bandi
l
esay s.
“Idon’
tcar
ewhaty oudidf
orherthat
’smoneyIcan
paybackwithoutf
eeli
ngadent”Isaylet
ti
nghi
m
l
oose.
Hel
ooksatmeandgi
vesmesmi
rk.
“
Asmuchasyoudon’twantt
oadmititBay
edel
oves
meandwhenIki
ssedhershelov
edit
”Hesays.
Ichar
get
owar
dshi
mtackl
ehi
m br
ingi
nghi
m down.
“
Yousonofab*tchwhokissesadr
unkwomany ou
t
ookadvant
ageofher”Isaythr
owi
ngpunches.
Nethapul
l
smeof
fhi
m wi
thBandi
l
eget
ti
ngi
nthe
middl
e.
“
Iwi
l
lki
l
lyou”Isayt
hroughgr
it
tedt
eet
h.
“Phakat
hway ot
hat’
senought
hisi
sahospi
tal
nota
publi
cplace”Marcsay
.
Li
am l
ooksatmewi
pingt
hebl
oodof
fhi
sli
p.
“Iwasthereforherwhenyouwer
en’tIst
oodbyher
whensheneededsomeoneandt rustmewhenIsay
Iam goingnowhereandyouwon’
tmakeme”He
says.
Ichuckl
eandl
ookatNet
ha.
“
Thi
sguywant
stot
ryme”Isay
.
“
Nqubekopl
ease”Net
hasay
s.
“Li
am pl
easel
eaveIwi
l
l cal
lyouandl
ety
ouknow
howsheis”Bandi
l
esays.
“
Onlybecauseyouar
easki
ng”hesay
sgr
abbi
nghi
s
j
acketwalki
ngaway.
“Youarethereasonshe’
sher
eyouZami
l
eouther
here”Ishout
.
Bandi
l
elooksatmeandshakeshi
shead.
“Net
hameetBandi
l
ethemanwhot
ooki
nBay
ede”I
say.
Net
hasmi
l
esandshoul
derbumpsBandi
l
e.
“
It
sgoodt
omeety
ou”Hesay
s.
“
Itgoodt
omeety
out
oo”Bandi
l
esay
s.

Wespentthenightatthehospi
tal
andsawBay ede
herfacei
sn’
tbruisedj
ustabumpont heheadanda
brui
sedcheekbone.
shelookedpeacef
uli
nhersl
eepwedidn’
twantt
o
wakeherupsowel ef
therwi
thBandi
l
eandwentt o
checkupinSomahhashi
.
Wehaven’tt
oldheraboutBay
edebeingi
nadmi
tt
ed
t
hedoctorwarnedusaboutstr
essi
nghim.
Hel
ooksatmet
henNet
ha,
“
Whatar
eyouboy
snott
ell
i
ngme?
”Heasks.
“
Not
hing”Net
hasay
s.
hel
ooksatmeandr
aiseshi
sey
ebr
ow.
“
Nqubekowhati
sgoi
ngon”heasks.
“
BabaBay
edei
sint
hehospi
tal
”Net
hasay
s.
“
Whywhathappened”Heasks.
“
Shewashi
tbyacarbuti
tssor
ted”Isay
,
hebreat
hesheav
il
yandpr
essest
henur
secal
l
but
ton.
Thenur
sehur
ri
edandl
ooksatus.
“
MrNgubaney
oucal
l
ed”shesay
s.
“
Tel
lthedoct
ortofi
xmydi
schar
gepaper
sIam
l
eav
ing”Hesays.
“Mbomv
uyouj
usthadahear
tat
tacky
oucan’
tleav
e”
Isay
.
“Ihavefai
l
edmydaught
erbef
oreIwi
l
lnotdoi
t
again”Hesay
sadamant
.
“
Ver
ywel
lIwi
l
lgett
hecar
”Isayst
andi
ngup.
“
Nethawi
l
lgett
hecary oust
ayIneedt
otal
ktoy
ou”
Net
hawal
ksoutleav
ingusalone.
“
What’
stroubl
ingyouNqubekoIcant el
lsomet
hing
i
sbot
heri
ngy ou?Heasks.“I
sitBayede?Icant
akeit
y
oucantellmeisitbad”Heasks.
Ishakemyheadandt
hinkbackt
oherphonecal
l
.
“I
t’
snothi
ngMbomv uitsj
ustthatt
heacci
dentwas
causedbyherf
ri
endandIam wor r
iedast
owhatshe
wil
lthi
nkwhensheleansthi
s”Isay.
henodshi
shead.
“
Wewi
l
lcr
osst
hatbr
idgewhenwegett
oit
”hesay
s.
Thedooropensandt
hedoct
orwal
ksi
nfol
l
owedby
thenur
se.

.
..
..
..
..
..
..
Sponsor
ed
Bay
ede’
skeeper

#34

Nqubeko

Thedrivetothehospit
ali
sshortsi
ncethatthetwo
hospit
alsaren’
tthatf
arapar
tthepressi
sal r
eady
wait
ingforusrumoursaboutSomahhashi bei
ngin
thehospit
alhavebeenmakingroundsalldaylong.
Weusherhiminwi t
ht hepressshout
ingbehi
ndus
forcommentsIhavenev erseenhimthi
snervous
beforeandt
hesightisrareandamusing.
Mar
cwal
ksust
hroughasheexpl
ainst
heamountof
al
coholf
oundinBay
ede’
ssy
stem andt
hei
njur
ies
shesust
ained.
Hesti
ll
mai nt
ainshowl
uckysheisthatt
herewasn’
t
anyser
iousdamagesorint
ernal
bleedi
ng.
Thet
hreeofuswalki
nandfindherwi
tht
henur
se
gi
vi
ngheraglassofwat
er.
“
IwasJustgi
vi
ngherhermedi
cine”Thenur
sesay
s
wal
ki
ngout.
Shel
ooksatal
lthr
eeofusandsi
ghs.
“
Iam sor
ry”shesay
stwi
ddl
i
nghert
humbs.
“
Hey
”Net
hasay
s.
“MynameisNet
hay
ourbr
other
”Hesay
swi
thsof
t
chuckl
e.
Asmilespr
eadsacr
ossherl
i
psassheext
endsher
hand.
“Hi
,mynamei
sBay
edeandIam y
oursi
ster
”she
say
s.
Net
hagent
lygi
vesherahugandpul
l
saway
.
“
Myl
i
ttl
esi
ster
”Hesay
shol
dingherchi
n.
“
Iam sor
ry”Net
hawhi
sper
s.
Shebr
eaksdownandwi
peshert
ear
s.
“
Ithi
nkt
heol
dmanwant
stot
alkt
oyou”hesay
s
movi
ng.
“
Iwi
l
lbeout
side”Net
hasay
s.
“
Wai
tforme”Isay
.
“
Hlal
aNqubeko(Nqubekost
ay)
”Bay
edesay
s
Il
eanagai
nstt
hewal
landl
ookatt
hem.
Mbomv uset
tl
esdownnextt
oherandcl
ear
shis
throatheshoul
dn’
tbeher
ebutt
hemanisjust
stubborn.
“Idon’tknowifIshouldi
ntr
oducemy sel
fli
ke
brother”Hesayslett
ingoutachuckl
e.
Af
aintsmi
l
espr
eadacr
ossherl
i
ps.
“
Shoul
n’
tyoubei
nthehospi
tal
”sheasks.
“
Ishoul
dbutIhadt
oseey
ou”hesay
s.
Hedr
awsi
nsomeai
randl
etsi
tout
.
“
Iam sor
ryBay
edef
oral
lthaty
ouhadt
ogot
hrough
whil
eIam sti
llal
iv
e,chi
l
drenar
enotsupposedt
o
suff
erbutyoudidbecauseofmyandyourmother
’s
deci
sion”hesays.
“
Whydi
dn’
tyout
akeher
”sheasks.
Ihav
ecometoreal
i
zetheonl
yper
sonBay
edetruly
l
ovedmoret
hananythi
ngi
nthi
sworl
dwashersist
er.
“Iwantedt otakeherbutshewassi ckandshe
neededy ourmot hermor e,
Ichoset oleav
eher
behindbecauseIknewy ourmot herwoul dt
akecare
ofher.Il
ov edy oursi
sterandleavingherbehindhur
t
mebutatt hesamet i
meIcoul dn’ttakecareofa
sickl
ychildonmyown”hesay s.
“Yourmother’
sfamilycheat edmeandt oldmethat
shewasdeadandt haty ourmotherhadleftwi
thher
husbandIdidn’
tlookf oryourmotherbecauseshe
wasmar r
iedtoanot herman.
Amant hatcoul
dtakecareofher,Ineverwantedt
o
taket
hekidsawayfrom herbutIcouldn’
tlett
hem
berai
sedbyanotherman”hesay s.
“
HadIknownthatshewassti
ll
ali
veandthatyour
mot
herwascarr
yingyouIwoul
dhavefoughthard
andl
ookedf
ory
ouguy
s”hesay
swi
pinghi
stear
s.
“
Iwill
neverfor
giv
emy sel
fforwhatthatmanputyou
t
hroughandIam sosorrythathehurtbot
hyouand
y
oursist
er”Somahhashisaysbreaki
ngdown.
Ibl
i
nkmyt
ear
sawayandcl
earmyt
hroat
.
Het
akesBay
ede’
shandandpl
acesi
tonhi
schest
.
“Iam yourfat
herandIlov
eyouli
keIdoy
oursibl
i
ngs
allIam aski
ngforist
hatyougi
vemeachance”
Somahhashi says.
Bay
edebi
tsherl
i
psandputherar
m ov
erherey
es.
“
Khal
aMbomv
u
Somahhashi
Ny
oni
yezwe
Nomaf
u,My
aluza
Zi
kodeel
i
mhl
ophe”Hesay
spr
aisi
ngBay
ede.
Shebr
eaksi
ntoal
oudsobherchestheav
ingheav
il
y.
ThedooropensandNet
haf
oll
owedbyt
henur
ses
wal
kin.
“
It
sokay
”Isay
.
Thenur
sewal
ksoutl
eav
ingt
hef
ourofusi
nthe
room
“Youar
enotal
onenotanymor
ewet
heNgubane’
s
areher
e”Hesaysst
andi
ngup.
Hepul
lsBayedeint
ohi
sembr
aceandmypoorbaby
j
ustweepsholdi
ngont
oherf
ather
.
Somahhashi
wipeshertear
sandkisseshercheek
pul
l
ingawaytowipehisowntear
s.
“Il
oveyouandf
rom nowonIwi
l
lnev
erl
etany
one
hurty
ou”Hesays.
“BabaIt
hinkweshoul
dgiveBay
edeandNqubeko
somepriv
acyandIthi
nkshe’
sti
red”Net
hasay
s.
Somahhashistandsupandwalksoutl
eavi
ngme
wit
hhisdaughterImovecl
oserandsett
lenextt
o
herhol
dingherhandwit
hbothmyhands.
she’
sst
il
lemot
ional
vul
ner
abl
ebutIneedt
oknow.
“
MaNgubane”Isay
.
“
Phakat
hway
o”Shesay
ssof
tl
y.
“
Whathappenedatt
hecl
ub”Iask.
“
Mhmm”shesay
s.
“
MangubaneIwon’
tasky
ouagai
n”Isay
.
“
Igotdr
unkandgothi
tbyacar
”shesay
s.
“
Okaysoy
oudi
dn’
tki
ssLi
am”Iask.
Shesay
snot
hingandsni
ff
s.
“
Mangubane”Isaysof
tl
y.
“
Iam sor
ry”shesay
s.
InodmyheadandletgoofherhandIwashoppi
ng
herf
ri
endwasly
ing.
Itst
ingsknowingthatt
hefi
rstt
imeshegotdr
unk
shekissedanotherman.
“
Andt
hephonecal
lwhatwast
hatabout
”Iask.
“
Youtal
kedaboutababyMangubanewhosebaby
wer
eyoutal
kingabout
”Iask.
“
Wer
eyoupr
egnantMangubane”Iaskl
ooki
ngather
.
Shenodsherheadandhi
desherf
acei
nherhands
cr
ying,
“
When”Iask.
shedoesn’
tanswermeandj
ustcr
ies.
“
Bay
ede”Isay
.
“
Idi
dn’
tknowIwaspr
eganantNqubeko”shesay
s.
“
Bay
edewhen”Ishout
.
Shej
umpsupscr
eami
ng.
ThedooropensandSomahhashi
wal
ksi
nfol
l
owed
byNetha.
“
Nqubeko”Somahhashi
say
s.
Ii
gnor
ehi
m andl
ookatBay
ede.
“
Ifoundoutwheny
ouwer
einpr
ison”shesay
s.
“
WasIt
hef
ather
”Iask.
Shenodsherheadandf
eel
myhear
trace.
“
Whathappenedt
othechi
l
d”Iask.
Shel
ooksatmeandbi
teherl
i
p.
“
Bay
ede”Ishoutwhenshecr
iesev
enmor
e.
“
That
’senoughNqubekoy
ouar
escar
ri
ngher
”
Somahhashi
say
s.
“AuntMar
thaki
l
ledt
hebabyshedr
uggedme”she
says.
Il
ookathi
deherf
acei
nherar
msandcr
ybi
tt
erl
y.
“
Sheki
l
ledourbaby
”Shesay
s
If
eel
weaknumbandi
ndi
sbel
i
ef.
“
Ineedsomeai
r”Isay
.
“Nqubekosi
tdowny
oucan’
tdr
ivel
i
ket
his”Net
ha
says.
“
Leav
emeal
oneNet
ha”Isay
.
“
Nqubeko”It
urnandl
ookatBay
ede.
“
Iam sor
ry”shesay
s.
It
urnandheadforthedoorIhearherbit
tercr
yand
st
il
lcont
inuewal
kingmakingmywayt omycar .

Idr
ivet
othebarandfi
ndmy sel
fdr
inki
ngt
ryi
ngto
numbthepai
nIwanttoscream mypai
ntotheworl
d
andbur
nevery
thi
ngthati
smyway .
Ithi
nkaboutBayede’
sthepainandsuf
fer
ingthat
she’
sbeenthroughsheneverdeser
vedanyofthi
s.
Ipull
outmywalletandl
ookatBecca’
sbusi
ness
cardItakemyphoneanddial
hernumber.
Iendthecall
befor
eitri
ngsnott
hethoughtof
Bayedekeepingt
hist
ohersel
fgetst
hebetterofme.
Idi
alt
henumberagai
nandwai
tti
l
lsheanswer
s.
“
Beccahel
l
o”Shesay
s.
“
Phakat
hway
ospeaki
ngwemetatt
hebar
”Isay
.
“
Iguessyou’
rereadyt
opl
ayIwi
l
lsendy
oumy
l
ocat
ion”shesays.
Iendthecal
landwaitf
ortheaddr
essandpaymy
bil
lassoonasitcomesthr
ough.
Iwalktomycaranddr
iveoutpassi
ngbyt
hegar
age
forsomecondoms.
Thedri
vet
oherhouseisnott
hatlongi
cal
lherwhen
Iam t
hegat
eandgetinaft
ertal
ki
ngtoher
.
Iwal
kupt
oherapar
tmentandknockont
hedoor
.
Shet
akesawhi
l
ebutev
ent
ual
l
ydoeswear
ing
not
hingt
omyamusement
,
Sheopenst
hedoori
nnot
hingbutherbi
rt
hdaysui
t.
Myd*
ckt
wit
ch’
sseei
nghernaked.
Shepull
smei nandshut
sthedoorbehi
ndus
droppi
nghersil
kgown.
“
Wher
edoy
ouwantme”sheasks.
Igrabhersi
l
khai randki
ssherl
i
psi
tdeepenswi
th
eachmoant hatshelet
sout.
Shepushesmedownt othecouchandgoesonher
kneesmovingherhanduptomycrotch.
Sheunbutt
onsmypantsandpul
l
sthem downwhi
l
eI
grabherbr
eastf
ondl
i
ngthem.
Forthefir
stti
meev erIfi
ndmysel
fwanti
ngtof
orget
ever
y t
hingthat
’shappenedl
eadi
ngtotoday
.
Shemoansandbyt
hatIcanshe’
smor
eexper
ienced.
Shepul
lsdownmybr
ief
sandl
i
ckherl
i
psbi
ti
ng
them.
“
Ohmyy
ouar
ehuge”hesay
s.
If
eelherwar
mtonguel
i
ckmeandhermout
htaki
ng
mein.
Shestar
tsbl
owi
ngmewhi
l
eIgr
abherhai
rpushi
ng
herdownmyshaft
.
Il
etherst
andupandgett
hecondomswhi
l
eIt
ake
of
fmyshirt.
Sheput
sinonper
fect
lywi
thherey
esst
il
lonme.
Shespr
eadsherl
egsandsitsont
opofmeeasi
ng
her
sel
fdownmyst i
ffshaf
t.
Ishutmyeyesey
eswhenshest
art
smov
ingher
waistshowi
ngof
fherski
l
ls.
Herpussyisti
ghtbutmymi
ndkeepsdr
if
ti
ngt
obest
Ihav
eev erhad.
Istandupst
il
li
nsi
deherandt
urnpl
aci
ngheront
he
couchandpull
out
.
Imakeherhol
dont
othecouchasshebendsf
orme.
Ist
okemy
sel
fandposi
ti
onmyd*
ckpushi
ngi
tinsi
de
her
.
Shescr
eamswheni
thi
theri
nnerwal
l
s.
Igr
abandpullherhai
rasIdeepl
ythr
usti
nandout
wit
houtacar
eint hewor
ld.
Shetapsont
hecouchbutIgohar
derandsl
am
i
nsideher
.
Ifeelmysel
fclosetocomingandpul
loutandgoi
n
againful
lyt
hrusti
nginsi
deherpi
nkentr
ance.
Herl
oudscr
eamsf
il
ltheent
ir
ehousewhenIhi
tit
har
d.
“Iam comingohyeahy eahpl
easedon’
tst
op”she
saysscreamingherr
elease.
Imovemywaisti
scir
clesandst
rokef
ast
erf
eel
i
ng
theedget
oexpl
ode.
Igr
oanl
oudf
il
li
ngupt
hecondom asIpumpi
nsi
de
her
.
Sheandt
urnsandlooksatmewi
tht
hissat
isf
ied
l
ookonherface.
Herspreadsherl
egswideformeandpl
ayswi
th
her
selffl
icki
ngherf
olds.
Ifeelmysel
fgetanot
herreact
ionatt
hesi
ghtofher
fl
i
ckinghersel
fandsoft
lymoan.
“
Iam all
yoursfort
henight
”shesay
spushi
ngone
f
ingeri
nsideherwethol
e.
Shet
akesi
toutandl
i
cksi
tthenbi
teherl
i
p.
“
Iwantyou”shesaysconf
ident
lyshov
ingt
womor
e
f
inger
sinsi
deher.
Iputont
hesecondcondom andleancl
osetokiss
herpl
um l
ipsandbr
ushmyhar dd*ckagai
nsther
swoll
enf
lesh.

.
..
..
..
.
Sponsor
ed
Bay
ede’
skeeper

#35

Nqubeko

Iwakeupnextt
oBeccar
est
ingherheadonmy
chest
.
Ir
eachformyphoneandlookatthenumerous
missedcal
lsf
rom Somahhashii
tmusthav
ebeen
ur
gentforhi
mt ocal
ll
iket
his.
ImoveBeccaf
rom mychestandgent
lyl
ayherdown
onthepi
l
low.
Igetoutofbedandwal
kov
ert
oherdr
essi
ngt
abl
e
taki
ngmypant s.
Iputt
hem onandwat
chasshesl
owlyrai
sesher
head,
shel
ooksatmeandsmil
esget
ti
ngoffthebed.
Shewalksov
ert
omeandwr
apsherar
msar
ound
mywaist.
“
Pleasest
ay”shesay
s.
Ishr
ugmy
sel
fof
fherhol
dandputonmyshi
rt
.
“
Youdon’
thav
etobecol
d”shesay
s.
“
Lastni
ghtwasgr
eatbutIhav
etogo”Isay
.
“
Can’
tyoust
ayf
orbr
eakf
ast
”sheasks.
“
No”Isay
.
Shegoesdownonherkneesandt
ouchesmycr
otch.
“Desper
ati
ondoesn’tl
ookgoodonyoul
i
keIsai
dlast
nightwasgreatdon’
trui
nit
”Isay
.
“
Iam sorr
y”shesaysreachi
ngf
ort
het
owel
and
wrapsi
taroundherbody.
Iputonmyshoest
henwat
chandgr
abmyphone.
Lastnightmi
ghthavebeengreatbuti
twasa
mistakesomethi
ngIfeelgui
l
tyaboutnow.
Ishoul
dn’
thav
elef
tthehospi
tal
Ishoul
dhav
e
stay
ed.
Butt
henwhoam Ikiddi
ngIwouldhaveexpl
oded
hadIst
ayed,
trut
hisIneededt
ocalm downandthe
thoughtofBeccascr
eami
ngmynameseemedl
i
kea
goodideaattheti
me.
Iwal
koutofherbui
l
dingandpassbyt
hehousef
ora
qui
ckshower
.
Ichangeint
ocleancl
othesandmakemywaitout
buyi
ngflowersonmywayt othehospi
tal
.
Ir
eachthehospit
alandstayi
nsi
det
hecart
hinki
ng
ofwaystoapproachthi
smatter
.
Idon’
tknowi
fIcanl
ookheri
ntheey
eaf
terl
ast
ni
ght.
Iputonmysunglassesandmakemywayi
nsi
dethe
hospi
tal
,
Ipassbyrecepti
onandgr
eett
hel
adi
es
walki
ngtoBayede’
sward.
Iopent
hedoorandf
indMr
sNgubaneseni
orwi
th
her.
It
akeoffmyglassesandgr
eett
hem ki
ssi
ng
Bayede’
sfor
ehead.
“Nowthatyourmani shereIwil
lgotot
hecafet
eri
a
andlookforyourf
ather”shesaysl
ooki
ngtoBayede.
“
Behav
eNqubeko”Shesay
ssmi
l
ingheadi
ngf
ort
he
door
.
Igr
abachai
randpl
acet
hef
lower
snextt
oher
.
“
Iam sorr
yaboutl
astni
ghtIj
ustneededt
imet
o
mysel
f”Isay
.
“I
t’
sokayIunder
standy
ouwer
eshocked”shesay
s
holdi
ngmyhand.
“
Nqubekol
ookatme”shesay
s.
Ir
aisemyheadandl
ookather
.
“
Ididn’
tknowIwascarr
yingachi
l
dhadIknownI
wouldhavef
oughtandprot
ect
edmybaby”shesay
s.
“
Iam sor
ryPhakat
hway
oIdi
dn’
tknow”shesay
s.
“Ther
eisn’
tadaythatgoesbyt
hatIdon’tt
hink
aboutthebaby
,i
fsheorhewouldhavetakenaft
er
meory ou.
Isometi
mescrymysel
ftosleepbecauseIcanhear
myownscreamsfr
om thatday”shesayssadly
smil
ing.
“
WhathappenedBay
ede?
whydi
dshedoi
t”Iask.
“
Shewant
edt
ohur
tyoubecausey
ouki
l
ledher
brot
herl
it
tl
edidsheknowt
hatIwast
heonewhodi
d
i
t”Shesays.
“
Howdi
dithappen”Iask.
“Nqubekopleasedon’
tmaker
eli
vet
hatni
ght
”she
sayssoft
ly.
Ist
andupandl
aynextt
oher
.
“
PleaseBay
edeIj
ustwantt
oknow”Isay
.
“Thedayyouchasedmeawaywasthedayshe
spikedmyjui
ce”shesay
sswal
l
owinghard.
Tearf
il
lherey
esandIwat
chasshebl
i
nkst
hem
away.
“I
tst
art
edoffascrampst henthi
sburni
ngf eel
i
ngon
mybackandthenIst ar
tedbl
eeding,
Icr
iedNqubeko
andbeggedhert
ot akemet ot
hehospitalbutshe
di
dn’
t.
Shestoodherandwat chedmebl eedthenshewent
tosl
eepwhileIscr
eamedi npain.Thefoll
owing
morni
ngshewokeupl ikenothi
nghappenedand
wentaboutherdaythat’swhenherdaught erhel
ped
meandBandi l
etookmei n”shesay s.
Shebr
eat
hesheav
il
yasIwi
pehert
ear
s.
“SekwanelemanjeMangubaneusukhal
ekwaba
kaningi
ngekeuphindeukhal
euyezwa”(I
t’
senough
Mangubaney ouhavecri
edfort
oolongyouwill
nevercryagai
n)Isay.
Iki
ssherf
oreheadandl
ooki
ntoherbeaut
if
uley
es.
“Youwill
nev
ershedtear
sofsadnessMangubane
everagai
nbecauseIwon’
tlett
hathappen”Isay
.
“
Ifeel
li
ghterNqubekol
ikeahugebur
denhasbeen
l
i
ftedoffme”shesays.
“Iwantt
obebett
erIhat
efeeli
ngli
ket
hisalway
s
cryi
ngandf
eel
ingthi
ssadnessinmyheart
”shesay
s.
“IspoketoBabNgubaneandhewoul dl
iketosee
Khethiwe’
sgrave,
Idon’
tknowhowIf eelaboutgoi
ng
backwhent hatwomanissti
llali
vebutwithyouby
mysi deIknowIcandoany t
hing”shesays.
“
Ilov
eyouNqubeko”shesay
srest
ingherheadon
mychest
.

Ispentt
hedaywi
thBay
edet
il
lvi
sit
inghour
swer
e
ov
er.
She’
sreal
lynott
hatbadandIam gr
atef
ult
hatshe
cominghomeinafewdays.
ImakemywaytoSomahhashi
’
sof
fi
ceandcl
oset
he
doorbehi
ndme.
Hei
sst
andi
ngbyt
hewi
ndowl
ooki
ngatt
hev
iew.
He’
spower
ful
justl
i
kehe’
sri
ch.
WithBay
edebeinghi
sdaught
erIdon’
tknowi
f
t
hingswil
lbet
hesamebetweenus.
Het ur
nsandlooksatmehel ooksmuchstr
onger
today,
Ithi
nkthatcr
yingsessi
onhehadr eal
l
yhelped
meaningitwasofanemot ionalthi
ngt
hataphysical
one.
Hemov
esawayf
rom t
hewi
ndowandwal
kst
owar
ds
me.
“
Am Iaf
ool
Nqubeko”heasks.
Ist
udyhi
sfacet
oseei fheknowsbecausei
fhedi
d
hewoul
dhaveactedsooner.
“
No”Isay
.
“
Thenwhydi
dn’
tyouanswermycal
l
s”heasks.
“
Ineededt
imet
omy
sel
fSomahhashi
”Isay
.
Hest
andsi
nfr
ontofmeandt
il
tshi
sheadl
ooki
ngat
me.
“
Woul
dyouhur
tBay
ede”heasks.
Hi
squest
ioncat
chesmeof
fguar
d.
“
Iaskedy
ouaquest
ionNqubeko”hesay
s.
“
Iwoul
dnev
erhur
tBay
edeMbomv
uIl
oveher
”Isay
.
Henodshi
sheadandl
ooksst
rai
ghti
ntomyey
es.
“
Iwi
llki
ll
youNqubekopull
thatst
unty
oupul
l
ed
y
est
erdayandIwi
llki
l
lyou”Hewarns.
“
Ify
oueverhur
theri
nanywayngi
zokubul
alamfan’
wam y
ourmotherwi
l
lnev
erfi
ndyou”hesays.
“Iwi
l
l notl
etanot
hermanhur
tmydaught
er”he
cont
inues.
“Il
oveyouNqubekoasmysonbuti
fyoudar
ehur
t
her”hesay
sshakinghi
shead.
InodmynodmyheadSomahhashi
thef
atheri
s
mor
edanger
oust
hatSomahhashi
thebusi
nessman.
“BayedeandIhav
eknowneachot hersi
ncewewer e
kidsSomahhashi
,
youknowt hatIl
ovehermorethan
anythi
ngandIwouldn’
thur
thertrustme”Isay
.
Henodshi
sheadst
eppi
ngaway
.
IknowSomahhashi
andheal
way
skeepst
ohi
s
thr
eat
s.

Thedooropensandmandl
akhewal
ksi
n.
HegreetsSomahhashi
whowal
kspasthi
m and
cl
osesthedoor
.
“
What
’supwi
thhi
m”heasks.
“
Longst
ory
”Isay
.
“
Youcal
l
edPhakat
hway
owhat
’st
hej
ob”heasks.
“
Iwanty
oubur
nahousef
orme”Isay
.
Hef
rownsl
ooki
ngatmyexpr
essi
on.
“
Whywouldyouwanttoburnahousei
sitf
or
i
nsur
ancepur
poses”
heasks.
“
MandlakheIwanty
outofi
ndafewguyswhowon’t
mindhavi
ngthei
rwaywi
thanol
derwoman”Isay
.
“Phakat
hway
oy ouarescar
ingmedoesSomahhashi
knowaboutt
his”heasks.
“Hedoesn’
thav
etoknowandy
ouwon’
ttel
lhi
m”I
say.
Isi
tontheedgeoft
hetabl
emyonel egont
hef
loor
wit
hotheronei
ssli
ght
lyi
ntheai
rtouchi
ngt
he
car
pet
.
“Iwanttheguy
st ohavefunwithherti
l
l shebegs
them t
okill
herwhent hati
sdonehavet hem pour
gasol
ineorwhateveronherthenburnthehouse.
Idon’
twantyout
okill
herimmediat
elyIwantt
he
housesetal
i
ghtwit
hherinsi
de.
Makesur
ethatshe’
sal
onewi
thnoonet
ohel
pher
”I
say
.
“
IfImayaskPhakat
hway
owhatdi
dshedo”heasks.
“
Enought
odi
easl
owpai
nful
deat
h”Isay
.
Henodshi
shead.
“I
fthat’
syourwi
shthenitshal
lbedone
Phathakat
hwa”hesaysstandi
ng.
“
Whenshal
lwedoi
t”heasks.
“
Iwi
llcal
lyoutomorr
owwi t
htheful
ldet
ail
sjustget
t
heguysreadyonyoursi
de”Isay
.
“
Int
andoyakhoi
zokwenzi
waYey
eye”hesay
s
wal
kingout
.
Ihav
enev erki
ll
edawomanbefor
eIclosemyey
es
andletwhatIhavej
ustputi
nmot
ionsinki
n.

.
..
..
..
.
Sponsor
ed
Bay
ede’
skeeper

#36

Nqubeko

I
t’
sbeenov eramonthnowandIhaven’
tbeenable
t
osleep,somanyt
hingshav
ebeenrunningthr
ough
mymi nd.
Ihav
en’
tbeenatpeacewi
tht
hemant
hatIam.
Ihaven’tfel
tli
ket hi
sbefor
ebuthav
ingBayedeback
i
nmyl i
fehast urnedthi
ngsar
oundandlyi
ngtoher
hasn’tbeensitti
ngwel l
wit
hme.
BayedeandIhavebeenspendi
ngmor
eti
me
toget
herwhi
chisamazing.
Theloveshegiv
esmeisoutoft
hiswor
ldsIam
proudtosayherlov
edi
sar
msmei nwaysIcan’
t
i
magi ne.
Il
ovehermor
ethanany
thi
ngandImi
ssbei
ngabl
e
tot
ell
hert
hatIl
oveherwi
thoutf
eel
i
nggui
l
tyabout
any
thi
ng.
Somahhashi
def
ini
tel
yknowsaboutBeccaandI
.
Idon’
twanttoburnbr
idgesnotwhenIhav
ecome
thi
sfarandachi
evedsomuch.

Mymot herl
ooksatmeandhol
dsmyhandshaki
ng
herhead.
Itol
dherever
ythi
ngf
rom t
hebaby
,Li
am t
oBecca
andMartha.
Shewi
peshert
ear
sanddeepl
ysi
ghs.
“
Idi
dn’
trai
seakil
lerNqubeko”shesay
scov
eri
ngher
f
acewi
thherhand.
“
MaIdi
dn’
tki
l
lher
”Isay
.
“Butyouwant
edtokil
lherNqubekokodwawhati
s
happeni
ngtoyou”sheasks.
“
Mamapl
ease”
Isay
.
“
Andt
henafterev
ery
thi
ngBayedehasbeenthr
ough
y
ougoaheadandcheatonher
”shesayssoundi
ng
di
sappoi
nted.
“
Yourf
athernev
ercheat
edonmenev
er”shesay
s.
Myf
atherwasagoodandhonestman.
“
Iam sor
rynt
ombi
endal
a”Isaywi
pinghert
ear
s.
“
Bayedehasbeenthr
oughhel
lNqubekoandshe
wai
tedfory
ousurel
yshoul
dcountforsomet
hing.
Idon’
tunder
standwhyy
ouwouldwanttohurtthe
samepersonyouwentt
oJai
lforhuh”sheasks.
“
Iwasangr
yMaandatthatti
medoi
ngwhatIdi
d
mademefeel
bet
ter
”Isay.
“Sowhatyouaretel
l
ingmeist
hatshoul
dyouand
Bayedehavepr
oblemsyouwil
lruni
tanot
her
woman’sarms”sheasks.
“
ChaMaIwon’
t”Isay
.
“Butyoudi
ditNqubekowhi
l
eshewasi
nthehospi
tal
cryi
ngthi
nki
ngaboutwhatt
het
rut
hwasdoi
ngto
you”shesays.
Hear
inghergoof
fli
ket
hismakesmef
eel
wor
se
t
hanIdo.
“Iappr
eci
ateever
ythi
ngMbomv uhasdoneforyou
andusbuteversi
ncey oumethi
my ouchanged”she
says.
IshakemyheadMbomvumi
ghthav
epl
ayedar
ole
butthi
sisal
loneme.
“Youcan’
tbl
ameMbomv unotwhenIam amanwho
canmakehisowndeci
sions”Isay
.
Shenodshi
sheadandsi
ghs.
“
Whatar
eyougoi
ngt
odonow”sheasks.
“
Iam goi
ngt
otel
lhert
het
rut
h”Isay
.
Herey
eswi
den.
“
Nqubekoi
tmi
ghtbackf
ir
e”shesay
s.
“Mayoudon’tknowhowsweetandkindsheisand
ever
yti
meIlookatherIt
hinkaboutmybetr
ayaland
i
teatsmeup”Isay.
“
Whati
fshedoesn’
tfor
giv
eyou”sheasks.
“
Iwil
lfi
ghtforherandi
fshedoesn’
twantmet
henI
wi
ll
lethergo”Isay.
“
Webot
hknowy
ouwi
l
lnev
erl
ethergo”shesay
s.
“
Iwi
l
ltr
ymama”Isay
.
Shenodsherheadst
andi
ngup.
“
Letmemakey
ousomet
ea”shesay
s.
Ir
aiseaney
ebr
owmymot
herknowsIdon’
tdr
inkt
ea.
“I
twil
lcalmyoudownandpr
eventy
ouf
rom
cheat
ing”shesay
s.
“
It
’st
oosoonMa”Isay
.
Shel
aughsandshakesherhead.
“
Okaymunt
ukaBecca”shesay
s.
“
Real
l
yMa”Isay
.
“IhopeBay
edef
orgi
ves”shesay
sput
ti
ngont
he
kett
le.

Ispentt
her estoft
hedaywit
hmymothert
hendrove
home,Bayedehasbeenspendi
ngt
imeatmyplace.
Thepl
acenowfeel
sli
keahomehav i
ngherar
ound
j
ustbr
ight
ensupmydays,
comingbackhometoher
makesmywholedayandwaki
ngupnexttoheri
s
t
hebestt
hingev
er.
Shewal
ksoutofthebathr
oom i
nnot
hingbutmy
whit
et-
shi
rtandsocks.
Shelookscuteandknowi
ngt
hatshe’
snotwear
ing
anyunderwearmakesmehar
d.
“
Myf athercal
ledhewantsmetocomespendthe
weekendwi t
ht hem”shesay
ssi
tt
ingont
opofme.
“
Andwhatdi
dyousay
”Iask.
“Isai
dy es”shesay
spl
aci
ngherhandsonmybar
e
chest.
“
Iam gl
ady
ouar
egi
vi
nghi
m achance”Isay
.
Shesmi
l
esandl
eanscl
osegi
vi
ngmeaki
ss.
“
Ihandedi
nmyr esi
gnat
ionatwor
ktoday
”shesay
s
f
aint
lysmi
l
ing.
Wetal
kedabouthergett
ingwor
kelsewherebutI
di
dn’
tthi
nkshewouldtakemyconcernsser
iousl
y.
“Ihatethisconstantf
ight
ingbet
weeny ouandLiam
soIdeci dedt opar
twaywi t
hhim andf
indajob
elsewher e”shesays.
“
Iam sor
ry”Isay
.
Iknowshe’
sfondoft
heguybutshel
ovesherj
ob
more.
“I
t’
sokayImeanwecr ossedt
heli
newhenwekissed
andIam sor
rythatIal
l
owedthatt
ohappen”she
saysst
il
lsmil
ing.
“
Idon’
twantt
ofi
ghtwi
thy
ouNqubekoandIr
espect
y
ouasmyman.
IknowmeworkingwithLiam r
ubsyouofft
hewrong
wayandaft
erthatki
ssIthinki
t’
sbestt
hisway
”she
sayst
aki
ngoffthet-
shir
t.
Shet
akesmyhandsandcupsherbr
east
.
“
Ilov
eyouPhakat
hway
o”shesay
sleani
ngf
oraki
ss.
Ir
unmyhandsdownherbar
ebackki
ssi
ngher
sl
owl
yanddeepl
y.
“
Makel
ovet
omeNqubeko”shewhi
sper
s.
Shedoesn’
tneedtotell
metwicebecauseIgent
ly
tur
nherandgetinbetweenhert
highs.
Igi
veherbr
east
sthemuchneededat
tent
ionl
eav
ing
ki
ssesdownt
ohernav
el.
Hersoftshav
enpartmeet
smyl
ips,
Iusemyfinger
s
topar
therp*ssyl
ipsandr
unmytonguedownher
hol
eandupt ohercl
it
.
Shesoft
lymoanswhenIci
rcl
emyt
ongueonher
hol
etry
ingtopushi
tin.
Ipressmyt
humbonhercl
i
tandmov
eitsl
owl
ywhi
l
e
Ieather
.
Shepushesmyheaddeepermov
ingherhi
pssi
de
ways.
“
OhNqubeko”shesay
sscr
eami
ngl
oudbr
ingher
l
egsup.
Imoveupandkisshersof
tli
psbr
ushi
ngmycockup
agai
nstherwethol
e.
“
Yout
ast
esogood”Isay
.
Shegiggl
esinbet
weentheki
ssandpul
l
smyhead
cl
oserdeepeni
ngourki
ss.
Isl
owl
ypusht
het
ipofmycor
kinsi
deherandpul
l
out
.
Hermoansar
eeveryt
hingandt
hewayshegr
abson
t
ightt
omeisever
ythi
ng.
Ibrushmycorkagainstherwetf
leshandpushi
nthe
ti
ppulli
ngoutagai
n.
“
OhhNqubekopl
ease”shesay
scr
yingoutherpl
ea.
Ipushmy sel
finsi
deherwar
m wall
sandcl
osemy
eyesrest
ingmyf or
eheadonher
s.
Il
ooki
ntoherey
esasIgi
vehersl
owst
rokes.
Themomenti
ssweetandbeaut
if
ulIwi
shi
tcoul
d
l
astl
onger
.
Ir
aisemyr
ightl
eguphav
ingher
swr
apar
oundmy
waist
.
Imoveincir
clessl
owl
ythr
ust
ingi
nandoutofher
ti
ghtwethol
e.
Hermoansf
il
lourbedr
oom t
oget
herwi
thmy
gr
oani
ng.
Imov
emyhandandcupherbr
eastmassagi
ngt
hem.
“
Pleasedon’
tst
op”
shesay
s.
Ipul
loutandwat
chherbi
tel
i
pshemov
esherhand
downtomyshaftandst
rokesmebef
orepul
l
ingme
backi
nsi
deher
.
Ionlypushi
ntheti
pandpul
louthol
dingmyst
if
f
corkinmyhand.
Ibrushupagainstherwetholeandt
apmycockon
hercli
tthensl
owlypushitinsi
deher
.
Shewrapsherar
msar
oundmyneckwhi
l
eIhookher
l
egovermyarm.
Iknowshe’
sabouttocomesoIgi
vehersl
ow
str
okest
ohersati
sfact
ion.
“
MaNgubane”Isayl
ooki
ngi
ntoherey
es
Shemov
esherwai
stmeet
ingmyev
eryst
roke.
I
t’
sdi
ff
icul
ttospeakwhenIam t
hisdeepi
nsi
deher
.
“
Yes”shesay
ssof
tl
y.
“
Ilov
eyouandIam sor
ry”Isay
.
“
Icheat
ed”Isay
.
Herbodytensesupasshebl
inksandmov
esher
handsovermynecklooki
nggutt
ed.
Shetr
iespushingmeof fbutIhol
dbot
hherhands
andpi
nt hem onthebed.
“
Letmemakey
oucum f
ir
st”Isay
.
Shebi
tesherl
i
pandeasesherbodyr
elaxi
ng.
If
*ckhersl
owl
yseei
ngt
hehur
tinherey
es.
Il
eani
ncl
oseandki
ssherl
i
ps.
“
Iam sosor
ry”Isay
.
Sheshut
sherey
esandal
l
owsmet
opl
easur
ehert
il
l
webothcum.
Shehol
dsont
omesodearl
i
fewhi
l
eIf
il
lherup.
Ipulloutandbri
ngt
hetowelcl
oserbutshesi
tsup
str
aightanddrawsherl
egsi
nlooki
ngatme.
“
Iam sor
ryst
handwasam”Isay
.
“
When”sheasks.
“
Bay
ede”Isay
.
“
Nqubekowhen”sheshout
s.
“
Ont
hedayy
out
oldmeaboutt
hebaby
”Isay
.
“
Soi
nst
eadofgoi
nghomet
ocr
yli
keanor
mal
per
sony
ouwentoutandcheat
ed”shesay
s.
“
Isi
tbecauseIki
ssedLi
am”sheasks.
Irunoutofwor
dsbecauset
hehonesttr
uthist
hatI
cheat
edforsel
fi
shr
easons,
Ican’
teventhi
nkofone
ri
ghtnow.
“MaybeIdon’
tknowIwasamessandImessedup”
Isay
.
“
YoucheatedNqubekowit
hanot herwomansl
ept
wit
hhert
hencamebackt osleepwi t
hme,
whatar
e
youtomakemesick”sheasks.
“
Iusedacondom”Isay
.
Shenodsheadandst
andsupf
rom t
hebedwi
ping
her
sel
fclean.
“Iknowmekissi
ngLiam upsetyoubutIdi
dn’tsl
eep
withhi
m andIwoul
dnev erhurtyoul
i
kethat”she
sayswalki
ngtowar
dsthecloset.
Igetonmyf
eetandl
ookathert
akeouthercl
othes.
“
Bay
edel
etst
alkaboutt
his”Isay
.
“
Ther
e’snot
hingt
otal
kaboutNqubeko”shesay
s
t
aki
ngsomeofhercl
othesandt
oil
etr
ybag.
“
Bay
edeIam sor
ry”Isay
.
“Sorr
yforsl
eepi
ngwi
thherorf
orhur
ti
ngus”she
asks.
“
Bot
hst
handwaIdi
dn’
tmeant
ohur
tyou”Isay
.
“Nqubekoy ouareachangedmanandnomat ter
howhar dItryt
ot ur
nabli
ndeye,thetr
uthi
sstar
ing
meint hefaceandIneedtoacceptit
”shesay
s
soft
ly.
“Idon’tknowy
ouany
mor
e”shesay
sshr
uggi
ngher
shoulders.
“Iwentt
opri
sonBayedewhatdi
dyouexpectt
o
happenhuht
hatIwouldcomebackt
hesameman”I
ask.
“
Soi
t’
smyf
aul
tthaty
ouar
echangedman”sheasks.
Sheshakesherheadandtakesthebag,
Igrabthe
bagandthrowitonthebedclosi
ngthedoor.
“
Youar
enotgoi
ngany
wher
e”Isay
.
“
Usuf
unaukungi
shay
aNqubeko”(
Younowwantt
o
hi
tmeNqubeko)sheasks.
Il
ookatherandrunmyhandsov
ermyhead
br
eathi
ngheavi
ly
.
“
Iwanty
out
ohearmeout
”Isay
.
“Vulaumny
angoNqubeko”
(opent
hedoor
)shesay
s
calmly.
“
Soyoucangotohi
m againist
hatwhyyouwantt
o
l
eav
ethehousesol
ate”Iaskti
l
tingmyhead.
.
“
Nqubekoy
ouar
escar
ingme”shesay
s.
Shetakesaf
ewst
epsbackwhenImov
ecl
osert
o
her
.
Tear
sfil
lherey
esassher
aisesherhandsshi
eldi
ng
herf
ace.
“
Bay
ede”Isay
.
Sheshakesherhead.
“
Iwoul
dnev
erhur
tyou,
youhav
etobel
i
eveme”Isay
.
Shekeepsherhandsov
erherf
acecl
ear
lyf
ri
ght
ened.
“
Iam sor
ry”Isay
.
Ist
epawayfr
om herandputonmypantsgr
abbing
mycarkey
sandt-shi
rtopeni
ngt
hedoorwal
kingout.
Iwal
koutoft
hehouseandgeti
ntomycardr
ivi
ng
out
.

.
..
..
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Sponsor
ed
Bay
ede’
skeeper

#37

Il
ookattheti
meandi t
’spastmi
dni
ghtandst
il
l
Nqubekoisn’
tbackhome.
Ireachformyphoneandcontemplat
ecal
l
ingNet
ha
andf i
ndouti
fmaybehe’snotwit
hhim.
Ishakemyheadthinki
ngaboutmyfather’
sreact
ion
shouldhef
indoutaboutNqubeko’
sinfi
del
ity
.
Stil
lonmyfathert
hemani samazingwear est
il
l
getti
ngtoknoweachot herbutIcansafel
ysafesay
thatIlov
ehimtogetherwithmyf ami
ly
.
Inowreali
zet
hei
mpor
tanceofhav
ingasenseof
bel
onging.
Knowi
ngt
hathel
ovesandaccept
smei
sev
ery
thi
ng.
Igetoutofbedandwal
kclosertothewi
ndow
l
ookingouthoppi
ngtoseehiscar.
Ideepl
ysi
ghwhenIseenot
hingandt
rycal
l
inghi
m
agai
n.
Hepi
cksupj
ustwhenIam aboutt
olooseal
lhope.
“
Phakat
hway
o”Isay
.
“
MaNgubane”hesay
ssof
tl
y.
“
Wher
ear
eyoust
handwasam”Iask.
“
Att
heGar
age”hesay
s.
Iheav
easi
ghofr
eli
efhe’
scl
osebyt
hat
’sast
art
.
“Ngi
cel
aubuyeekhay
aphel
aYey
eye”(
pleasecome
home)Isay
.
“
Soy
ouar
enotaf
rai
dofmeany
mor
e”heasks.
“
Justcomehome”Isayendi
ngt
hecal
l
.
Ifi
xthebedandt
akeaqui
ckshowerf
ixi
ngmy
sel
f
up.
Iknowi
t’
slat
ebutIst
il
lputonmyper
fumeandf
ix
myhair
.
Il
ookatmysel
fint
hemi
rr
orandl
aught
het
hingswe
doforl
ove.
Iputonanot
heroneofhi
st-
shi
tandmakemyway
t
otheki
tchen.
Iopent
hefr
idgeandt
akeoutt
helef
toversl
i
cesof
pi
zzaandt
hrowthem i
nthemi
crowave.
Thedooropensj
ustaf
tert
hemi
crowav
eisdone.
Itakeoutt
hepi
zzaandgr
ababot
tl
eofcokeand
sparkl
i
ngwater
.
Il
ookathi
m asheshut
sthedoor
.
“Pl
easebr
ingt
hegl
asses”Isaywal
ki
ngbackt
othe
bedroom.
Het
akesawhi
l
ebutf
inal
l
yjoi
nsme.
“
Closet
hedoor
”Isay
.
Hel
ooksatmecl
ear
lyuneasy
.
“
Iwon’
tki
l
lyoui
fthat
’swhaty
ouar
eaf
rai
dof
f”Isay
.
Hef
rownsbutcl
osest
hedoorst
il
landwal
ksov
ert
o
t
hebed.
Hetakesof
fhi
sshoesandget
sonwhi
l
eIpourhi
m
somecoke.
“
Let
’seat
”Isay
.
Hel
ooksatt
hepi
zzasl
i
cesandhesi
tat
es.
“
Ngey
’khat
hizabathakat
hiBayedewenauf
unasi
dle”
(
Atwi
tchful
lhoursy ouwantustoeat
)hesay
s.
Inodmyheadanddr
inkmyspar
kli
ngwat
er.
Hest
art
seat
ingf
ail
i
ngt
olookmei
ntheey
e.
“
Lookatme”Isay
.
Hesi
ghsandl
ooksmei
ntheey
e.
“
Ngi
yaxol
i
sa”Isayheav
il
ybr
eat
hing.
“Iam sorr
yt hatyouwenttopri
sonbecauseofme, I
am sorrythaty oul
ostoutonyourdreamsofbeinga
doctorbecauseme.Inev ersai
dthisbutthanky
ou
fort
akingt hefallf
orme,t
hankyouforlovi
ngmet hat
mucht haty ouputyourwholel
if
eonhol dandsaved
me”Isayput t
ingmyhandonhi sjaw.
“Iam sor
rythatIki
ssedLiam andIkeptt
het
rut
h
aboutthebabyfrom you.
Itwasnev
ermyi
ntent
iont
ohur
tyouPhakat
hway
o”I
say.
“
Thesepastf
ewy
ear
swer
ehar
dasmuchasIhad
Bandil
eIsti
ll
fel
tal
one,
Khethi
we’sdeathreal
lyhi
t
mehar dandIwentcr
azyandwhenev erIwouldt
hink
aboutherIwoul
dn’
tbeabletohandl
ei t
.
Shewasmyev erything,
youmyev ery
thi
ngandinthe
shor
tspaceIhadl ostbot hofyouandthatdrov
eme
mad.Iwasdi agnosedwi thsever
edepressi
onand
anxi
etyIhadhallucinati
onsPhakathwayoIwas
seei
ngthingsthatwer en’
tther
e.
Ihear
dvoi
cesthatwer
en’
tther
ebutt
hemedi
cat
ion
keptmesane.
Ihavebeentaki
ngpil
lsnotbecauseIwantt
obut
becauseIneedthem”Isay.
“
Iworkedattheclubasadancerbecausei
tmade
mefeeli
ncont r
olofmyemotions,
Ienj
oyedbei
ng
Hai
lonthatstagebecausei
twasanescapefrom
mymessyandl onel
ylif
e.
ForanightIcoul
dliv
eaf ant
asyandbethebeauti
ful
sexyHailt
hatmanwi shtobedandnotbethecrazy
Bayedewhoal wayscri
esandseesthi
ngsthatar
en’t
ther
e”Isaysti
lll
ooki
ngathim.
“
Theny
oucamebacki
fev
eni
fitwasn’
tformebut
wemetandonebr
ickf
ell
from t
het
owerIhav
ebui
l
t
ar
oundme.
Iknowthaty
ouhav echangedandIam maki
ng
peacewit
hthatbecauseIlov
eyousomuch.
Butwi thbei
ngsaidifyouwanttocheatNqubeko
thent el
lmesoIdon’tinvestmy
selfint
he
rel
ationshi
p.Ify
ouwantt odipyourcor
kinevery
honeypott hentel
lmesoIcanst epawayandfind
my selfamanwhowi l
llovemeandonlyme”Itell
him.
If
eel
hisj
awscl
ench.
Hehol
dsmyhandandsi
ghs.
“
Idon’twantt
ocheatBayedewhathappenedwasa
mist
akeanditwi
llnev
erhappenagai
n”hesays.
“IknowthatIhurty
ouandthatitwi
ll
taket
imeforus
tomov epastthi
sbutIam wi
ll
ingtofi
ghtf
orus”he
says.
Het
akesmyhandsandki
ssest
hem.
“
Iam sor
ryMaNgubanef
orlashi
ngoutandblaming
y
ouformycheat
ing,Imi
ghthavechangedbutIam
sti
l
lthesamemant
hatl
ovesy
oumor
ethan
anythi
ng.
Myheartwil
lal
waysbeatt
oyout
hatwi
l
lnev
er
change”hesay
s.
“Idon’tl
ikeLi
am andIneverwi
l
lbecausehetook
adv ant
ageofthefactt
hatyouwer
edr unkandIcan’
t
trustamanl i
ke”hesays.
“
Whyi
sthaty
ounev
erl
ookedf
orme”Iask.
“BecauseIwasaf rai
dthatmaybeyouhadmov edon
withanotherman,Iwassoaf r
aidofseei
ngyou
happywithanotherIstayedawayforaslongasI
could”hesays.
Imov
ethepl
ateandpl
acei
tont
hesi
deoft
het
abl
e.
Imov
ecl
osert
ohi
m andsi
tont
opofhi
m.
“Let
’st
alkaboutherwhoi
sshe”Iaskhel
pinghi
m
outofhi
st-shi
rt
.
“
Hernamei
sBeccaImetheratt
hebar
”hesay
s.
Ishuthi
m upwi
thaki
ssandgr
indmy
sel
fov
erhi
s
crot
ch.
Ifeel
theef
fectofmymov
ementandsmi
l
epul
l
ing
downhispants.
Hi
sblackcor
kspr
ungsoutcomi
ngal
i
vewhenI
t
ouchit.
“Uyal
ambaNqubeko”(
Doy oust
arv
eNqubeko)Iask
gentl
yst
roki
nghi
ml ooki
nghimineyes
Heswal
l
owshar
dandshakeshi
shead.
“Changiyabuzangi
kengakul
ambisasel
okhukwathi
nse”(It
’sj
ustaquesti
onhaveIev
ersexual
lyst
arv
ed
you)Iask.
“
No”hesay
sbr
eat
hingheav
il
y.
Inodmyheadl
i
fti
ngupt
het
-shi
rtshowi
ngof
fmy
bareness.
Helooksconf
usedpr
obabl
ythoughtIwoul
dki
ck
hi
mt othecur
b.
“
Wozangi
kuphe”(
Comeletmefeedyou)Isayl
ift
ing
myar
seandrubbi
ngmysel
fov
erhishardd*ck.
Hi
sey
eswi
den.
“
Angi
thi
wenauy
ayi
thandai
nquzaf
uthi
uyayi
febel
a”(
Isn’
tityoul
ovep*
ssyy
ouev
encheat
becauseofit
”Isay .
Ipushmy selfdownhi
shar
dshaftandbi
temyli
p
Nqubekoisbi gandr
oughwhenhewantsbutt
odayI
am incharge.
Hecupsmybreastandsqueezest
hem i
nhi
shuge
manl
yhands.
Imov
emywaisti
ncir
clesandwatchashehis
mout
hdr
opsopenandhistonguesl
ight
lyst
ickout
.
ApartofmewantstolaughbutIhol
dmy sel
fand
pul
louttur
ningmybackandridi
nghi
m cowgirl
styl
e.
Hegr
owl
sandgr
absmybr
eastmumbl
i
ngt
ohi
msel
f.
“OhkodwaMaNgubane”hesay
staki
nghugegul
ps
offai
r.
“
Dammitwomanwhatareyoudoi
ngt
ome”heasks
maki
ngsoundsIdi
dn’
tev
enknowexi
sted.
“
Iam aboutt
ocum”hesay
sgr
oani
ng.
Ist
opmov
ingandpul
loutt
urni
ngt
ofacehi
m.
Hel
ookskooksr
eadyt
ocr
yasIt
akehi
shar
dcock
i
nmyhandandgi
veahandj
ob.
“Yi
niekwenzaufuneukudlanabanyeoskhotheni
kodwaekhay audl
awena”( whatmakesy ouwantto
shareanotherwomanwheny ouhavey ourswhom
youdon’tsharewi
thanyone)Iask.
“Yi
DemonMaNgubaneusat
haneebengi
l
inga”
(The
devi
lwasusi
ngmeMaNgubane”
hesaystrembl
ing.
Isl
idbackinsi
deandshutmyeyesthi
scheati
ng
mani sdel
ici
ousandi
thurt
sthathegavehi
mselft
o
anotherwoman.
Heholdsmet
ightandmeet
smewi
thf
astdeep
st
rokes.
I
tdoesn’
ttakel
ongbef
oreheexpl
odesandcomes
i
nsi
deme.
Ihavenev
erseenhimthi
svul
ner
ableIt
ight
enmy
pel
vi
cmusclessti
l
llooki
nghi
mintheeye.
“
Lookatme”Isay
.
Hel
ooksatmeandcat
chi
nghi
sbr
eat
h.
“
Thenextt
imey outhi
nkofcheat
ingonme
r
ememberthatIcanalsogi
vethi
suptoanot
her
man”Isaygent
lypul
l
ingout
.
Ir
eachf
orthetowel
andcl
eanmy
sel
fupt
hengent
ly
wi
pehimtoo.
l
“
Bay
ede”hesay
s.
“Don’
ttal
ktomeNqubeko”Isayget
ti
ngundert
he
cover
s.
Healsoget
sinundert
hecov
ersandt
ri
est
ohol
dme
butIshr
ugmysel
foffhi
m.
“
Ungangi
thi
nti
”(
don’
ttouchme)Isay
.

Isl
eptl
i
keababywhi
l
ehekeptt
ossi
ngandt
urni
ng.
Imadebreakf
astandsett
het
abl
ethenmadehi
m
fr
eshpotofcoff
ee.
Ihavealr
eadypackedmybagfigur
edIshoul
dgot
o
Bandil
e’
splaceseei
ngthatweareall
goi
ngtomy
fat
her’
shouse.
“
Mor
ning”Isay
.
“
Mor
ning”hesay
scl
ear
inghi
sthr
oat
.
“
Aboutl
astni
ght
”hesay
s.
“Lastni
ghtwasgoodwebot hl
ovedeverymoment
ofitandnoIhaven’
tfor
giv
enyou”Isay.
Henodshi
shead.
“
Imighthaveki
ssedanothermanbutIdi
dn’
tsl
eep
wi
thhim”Isaydeepl
ysighi
ng.
Istandupmychai
randwal
kov
ert
ohi
m andsi
ton
hislap.
“Il
ovey
ouNqubekobutIt
hinkweneedt
imeapar
t”I
say.
“
Forhowl
ong”heasks.
“Idon’tknowPhakat
hwayoIam hurti
ngri
ghtnowso
Idon’tknowwhenIwi l
lst
ophur
ting”Isay
.
Henodshi
shead.
“
Ilov
eyounganekaSomahhashi
”hesay
s.
“
Ilov
eyout
oo”Isay
.
“
Wear
enotov
err
ighti
t’
sjustt
imeapar
t”heasks.
“
Wear
enotov
ersonosl
eepi
ngwi
thot
herwoman”I
say
.
Hechuckl
esandt
akesoutawat
chf
rom hi
spocket
.
“
Remembert
his”heasks.
“
YesIdo”Isay
.
“
Hol
douty
ourhandf
orme”hesay
s.
Ihol
doutmyhandandhav
ehi
m putt
hewat
chon
mywr i
st.
“
Iwantyoutohol
dontothi
sformet
il
lwef
indour
waybackt
oeachother
”hesays.
Ipl
acemyhandsonhi
sfaceandpul
lhi
mforaki
ss.
“
YouareagoodmanNqubekoal
way
sremember
t
hat
”Isaygi
vi
nghi
m ahug.
Beingawayfrom hi
m wil
lgi
vemeti
metothi
nkand
spendmor eoft
hattimewit
hmyfamil
yandalsof
ind
anotherj
ob.

.
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
Bay
ede’
skeeper

#38

Ihav
ebeenatmyf at
her
’shousef
ordaysnowImiss
Nqubekobutthenwear
ebothcommitt
edtothi
s
ti
meapartthi
ng.
Heisbeingagentl
emenaboutal
lthisandver
y
underst
andi
ngapartf
rom hi
ssmallanti
csher
eand
ther
eofcourse.
Lastni
ghthecal
l
edandtol
dmethathewassick
andneededpamper
ingmenar
esuchbigbabi
es.

Iam i
ntheki
tchenwi
thKeny
asi
tt
ingont
hecount
er
keepi
ngmecompany.
“
Yey
e”shesay
slooki
ngatme.
“
YesPumpum”Isay
.
“
Didy
ouknowt
hatMkhul
icansi
ng”asks.
“
Yes”Isay
.
Shel
aughsandcl
apsherhandst
oget
her
.
“
Ili
keMkhul
u”shesay
ssmi
l
ing.
“
Ili
kehi
mtoo”Isay
.
“Whydi
dn’
tIhav
ehi
m bef
ore”sheaskswi
thaf
rown
onherf
ace.
“
Youdi
dhav
ehi
m hej
ustwasn’
ther
e”Isay
.
Shenodsherheadsmi
l
ing.
Zamowalksinandl
ooksatmegri
nni
ng,
shelooks
l
ikeKhet
hiwesomuchIcan’
thel
pfal
li
nlov
ewi th
her.
I
nherIhav
egai
nedasist
erandmor
eshe’
ssl
owl
y
becomi
ngmybestf
ri
end.
Shehugsmef
rom behi
ndandgi
ggl
es.
“
Yourmani
sout
side”shesay
s.
“
Whati
shedoi
ngher
e”Iask.
“Het
oldbabathathe’ssi
ckandthatifhedoesn’t
seey
ouhewi l
ldie”shesaysl
aughingevenmor e.
“
Andy
oul
ethi
m sayal
lthoset
hingst
oDad”Isay
.
Sheshr
ugshershoul
der
sandt
akesKeny
a.
“
Let
’sgoout
sideandseeMkhul
u”Zamosay
s.
Nqubekowal
kspastt
hem andset
tl
esdown.
Hel
ooksf
lushedandhi
sey
esar
eti
red.
“
MaNgubaneIam si
ck”hesay
s.
Imovetowher
ehei
sseat
edandputmyhandonhi
s
for
ehead.
“
Youar
ebur
ningup”Isay
.
Henodshi
sheadandhol
dsmecl
oser
est
inghi
s
headonmybr
east.
“
Ithi
nky
oushoul
dgot
othedoct
or”It
ell
him.
“YouknowwhatIt
hink”hesay
swi
thmi
schi
evous
smil
eonhisf
ace.
Ishakemyheadandwai
tforhi
sdi
rt
ymi
ndt
ost
art
working.
“
Ithinkthatt
hingofy
oursf
rom t
hatot
herni
ght
mighthelpcureme”hesay
s.
Ir
aisemyey
ebr
owsandsmi
l
e.
“
AndIt
hinkt
hedoct
orwi
l
lhel
pyouj
ustf
ine”Isay
.
Hedeepl
ysi
ghsandl
etsmego.
“
Soy
oudon’
twantmef
eel
i
ngbet
ter
”heasks.
Imov
eawayf
rom hi
m andputont
heket
tl
e.
“
Wenzani
”(
whatar
eyoudoi
ng)heasks.
“Iam maki
ngy
ousomechamomi
l
eteai
twi
l
lhel
p”I
say.
“
Yeyangil
iphuzi
iti
yemi
na”
(Idon’
tdr
inkt
ea)hesay
s
wi
thafrown
Heshakeshi
sheadst
andsup.
“I
t’
sfi
neBay edel
etmedi
eisn’
tity
oudon’
tlov
eme
anymore”hesayswal
ki
ngout.
Il
aught
hrowi
ngmyheadbackNqubekoi
sdr
amat
ic.

Thedaygoesbywit
hNqubeko,
Net
haandBaba
spendi
ngthei
rti
meinhi
sstudy
.
Thei
rmeet
ingadj
our
nsandNet
hat
oget
herwi
th
Nqubekoheadoutwi
thoutsay
ingany
thi
ng.
ImakeBabaacuport
eaandheadt
othelounge,
I
pl
acethet
rayi
nfr
ontofmeandset
tl
enexttohim.
Hewrapshisarm aroundmeandkissesmy
for
ehead,
Iam get
tingusedt
othi
slastbornt
hingi
t’
s
amazingandaddi
ct i
ve.
“
Iam happyt
haty
ouar
eher
e”hesay
s.
“
Baba”hel
ooksatmesmi
l
es.
“
Ilov
eyou”Isay
.
“
Ilov
eyout
ooMaNgubane”hesay
s.
Zamowal
ksi
nandset
tl
esont
heot
hersi
de.
“
Myt
wof
avor
it
egi
rl
sint
hewor
ld”Babasay
s.
Keny
awal
ksi
nandf
oldsherar
msl
ooki
ngatus.
“
Mkhul
iwhataboutme”shesay
s.
Babal
aughsandhol
dsouthi
sar
ms.
“Youar
eMkhul
u’
sfav
ori
teandbeaut
if
ulbabygi
rl
”
Babasays.
“
SeeIam beaut
if
ulMkhul
uli
kesmemor
e”Keny
a
say
s.
Weal
ll
aughatheri
nnocence.
I
t’
sfunnyhowthi
sfami
l
yhasgr
owni
nsuchashor
t
per
iodoft
ime.
“
Howwasshe”
Zamoasks.
Iknowshe’
sref
err
ingt
oourmot
her
.
“Shewasbeauti
fulj
ustl
ikeyouhadthemost
melodi
ousvoiceIhadeverheadandhersmil
e,
lor
d
Mama’ssmilewasjustbeauti
ful
Ithi
nkyouand
Khethi
wetookthatfr
om her.
Shel
ovedsi
ngi
ngshewaski
ndandl
ovi
ng”Isay
.
“Babadoyoumi ssher
”Zamoaskst
heonequest
ionI
havebeenlongi
ngtoask.
“
Ever
ydaybutt
hethr
eeofyoulooksomuchl
i
keher
i
tmakesmissi
ngherbear
abl
e”hesays.
“Ineedsomethi
ngtoeatYey
eshoul
dIgety
ou
anythi
ng”sheasks.
“
NoIam okay
”Isay
.
Keny
afol
l
owsbehi
ndherl
eav
ingmewi
thBaba.
“Bay
edewhat
’sgoi
ngonbet
weeny
ouandNqubeko”
heasks.
“
Not
hingBaba”Isay
.
“Youmaynotbecomf ort
ablet
alki
ngt
omebutif
ther
e’sanythi
ngtr
oublingyouIwanty
out
otal
kto
Swazi ory
oursist
er”hesays.
“
Iwantt
otal
ktoy
ou”Isay
.
Hebeamspr
oudl
yandl
ooksatmel
i
steni
ng.
“
Wear
etaki
ngabr
eakBabanot
hingser
ious”Isay
.
“
Didhehur
tyou”heasks.
“
Nowej
ustneedt
imeapar
tthat
’sal
l
”Isay
.
“
Ifdi
dyouwoul
dtel
lmer
ight
”hesay
s.
Inodmyhead.
“Thankyouforal
l
owi
ngmebey ourfatherIknowwe
sti
llhav
ealongwaytogobutIam gratef
ultohav
e
youinmylif
e”hesay
s.
“
Babadon’
tcr
y”Isay
.
Hebl
i
nkshi
stear
saway
.
“Iam sadBayedet
hatIdi
dn’
trai
sey out
hatyou
camei nt
othi
sworldandIwasn’
ttheret
orecei
ve
you”hesays.
Ithi
nkhim notknowi
ngaboutmyexistenceand
missingoutonourli
fehurt
sandt
het houghtof
goingtoKhethi
we’sgrav
ehurt
sevenmor e.
“Butyouwill
behereformor
eofmybi
rthday
s,my
weddingandt hebi
rt
hofmychi
ldr
eny
ouwi l
lbe
here”Isay
.
Heshakeshi
shead.
“Idon’
twanty
outogetmar
ri
edYey
eIst
il
lanyy
ou
homewi t
hme”hesays.
Ir
estmyheadonhi
sshoul
derwhoknewt
hatt
his
mancanbeemoti
onal
.

Weal l
atedinnerasafamilywi
thoutNethat
houghi
t
sti
l
lfeelssounrealt
hatIhaveafamil
ythatl
ovesme
andthepeoplethatIl
ove.
Bandil
eandThandohav
ebeenwel
comedi
ntot
his
famil
ywit
hopenarms,t
hel
oveandwar
mthwehave
got
tensof
ari
sjustoutoft
hiswor
ld.
Zamowal
ksi
ntot
heki
tchenf
oll
owedbymama.
Wecal
l
edherher
esi
ncewebot
hwantt
ogoout
.
“
Outwi
thi
t”Mamasay
s.
“
Af ewfri
endsofminear
ehosti
ngandIwas
wonder
ingifyouwecango”Zamosays.
“Youtwothi
nkIwasbornyest
erdayokayl
etmego
backtomyhusbandseei
ngthatyouarenotser
ious
aboutyourr
equest
”shesaysst
andingup.
“
MacanIgoseeNqubekohe’ssi
ckandhecl
aims
t
hathe’
sgoi
ngt
odieifIdon’
tcomeseehi
m”Isay.
Shel
aughsandl
ooksatZamo.
“Si
zweaskedi
fIcoul
dsleepov
erandy
ouknowhow
babaget
s”Zamosays.
“Youmaygobutbyfi
vei
nthemor
ningIwanty
ou
backhome”shesay
s.
“
Anduseacondom”shesay
s.
Weareal
readypackedwhileZamogoesabouther
ownwayIgoaboutmi ne.
Idri
vestr
aightt
oNqubeko’
sandt
omysur
pri
set
he
houseisempty.
Itur
nont hel
ightsandchangei
ntomynightwear
gett
ingunderthecover
sIshoul
dhavecall
edbefore
cominghere.

.
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
.
Bay
ede’
skeeper

#39

Itossedandt ur
nedforafewhoursthi
nki
ngabout
Nqubeko,Ieventhoughtofdr
ivi
ngbackhomebut
thenIthoughtaboutBabawakingupwhenmycar
driv
esin.
Itr
iedcal
li
nghi
m buthewasn’
tanswer
inghi
sphone
andthatmademequesti
onthepossi
bil
it
yofhi
s
whereabout
s.

Iopenmyeyesandl
ookatt
het
imeit
sal
ready6i
n
themorni
ngandmasai
dweshoul
dbebackby5.
Ij
umpupfrom Nqubeko’
scomf
ort
abl
ebedandgr
ab
mycl
othesandshoes.
Thesoundofaglassshat
ter
ingst
opsmef
rom
doi
nganythi
nganyfurt
her
.
Idr
opt
hepi
l
eofcl
othesont
hef
loorandt
ipt
oet
o
t
heki
tchen.
IstoponmytrackswhenIseeNqubekost
andi
ngi
n
fr
ontoftheopenfri
dge.
ForasecondItrul
ythr
oughti
twast
hecr
azygi
rl
fr
om t
heot herday
.
Hecl
osest
hef
ri
dgeandInot
icet
heguni
nhi
shand.
MyheartskipsInev
erseenagunatcloserange
befor
ehet r
iestohi
deitbuti
t’
stool
ateIhave
al
readyseenit.
Idi
dn’tevenknowthatheownedagunItal
so
doesn’tl
ookli
kehe’
sgottenmuchsl
eepandbyt
he
l
ooksoft hi
ngshe’
sjustgott
eni
nnow.
Therearesomebl
oodst
ainsonhist-
shi
rtand
defi
nit
elynott
het
hebr
okenglass.
Iswal
lowhar
dandt
rynotthi
nkmuchofitbutt
he
quest
ioni
nsi
demei
sdyingtobeasked.
“
Bay
edeIdi
dn’
tknowy
ouwer
eher
e”hesay
s.
“Iarr
ivedl
astni
ghtcoul
dn’
tsl
eepknowi
ngy
ouar
e
sick”Isay
.
“
Youshoul
dhav
ecal
l
ed”hesay
s.
“
Idi
dcal
lbuty
oudi
dn’
tanswery
ourphone”Isay
.
“
Iam sor
ryIhadar
oughni
ght
”hesay
sbal
anci
ngon
t
hefr
idge.
Theguni
sst
il
lhel
dbehi
ndhi
m.
“
Wher
ewer
eyou”Iask.
“
Iwasj
ustr
unni
ngsomeer
rands”hesay
s.
Inodandl
ookatt
hebl
oodst
ains.
“I
t’
snotwhatyouthi
nkNet
haandIhadaspar
ri
ng
sessi
on”hesays.
Iknowhe’
sly
ingbutIdon’
twantt
oaskanyf
urt
her
.
“Ar
eyouhungr
yshoul
dImakey
ousomet
hingt
o
eat
”Iask.
Hecoughsandshakeshi
shead.
“
Ineedt
oshowert
hensl
eep”hesay
s.
“
Iwi
l
ljustt
idyupt
henl
eav
e”Isay
.
“
Pleasedon’
tgost
ayIwi
l
ldr
ivehome”hesay
s.
“
Okay
”
Iwalkbackt
othebedr
oom andmakethebedt
o
thi
nkIwasreadyt
ojumpshipwi
thoutmaki
ngi
t.
Ilaymycl
othesont
hebedaswel
lascl
eancl
othes
forhi
mtoo.
Hewal
ksinandsett
lesontheedgeoft
hebedand
sl
owl
ytakesof
fhisshoes.
Il
ookathi
m andwonderwhatj
ail
real
l
ydi
dtot
his
man.
Imovecl
oserandset
tl
edownnextt
ohi
m hol
ding
hi
shand.
Hewon’
ttal
kandIwon’
task.
“
Iwi
l
lgomakey
ousomet
hingt
oeat
”Isay
.
“
Not
hanky
ouIj
ustwantt
ohol
dyou”hesay
s.
Webot
hlayont
hebedwi
thhi
m hol
dingmet
ight
.
Isayasmallprayert
hatMadoesn’
tki
l
lmeort
ell
BabathatIl
eftthehouse.

Nqubekobei
ngt
hebabythathei
swokeupt ot
akea
bat
hthenhewentbackt
osleepandaskedmeto
st
ay.
Il
ookatt
heti
meandi
t12:30ev
ery
oneisupbynow
knowi
ngKeny
ashewentt
omybedroom l
ooki
ngfor
me.
Igrabmyphoneandwalkoutoft
hebedr
oom
headingt
othel
ounge.
Idi
alZamoandsheanswer
sont
hef
ir
str
ing.
“
Sisi
”Isay
.
“
Heysi
s”shesay
sgi
ggl
i
ng.
IhearSi
zwe’
svoi
cei
nthebackgr
ound.
“
Youar
enothomeneh”Isay
.
“
NoIov
ersl
eptandy
ou”sheasks.
“
Iov
ersl
eptt
oo”Isay
.
Webot
hcr
acki
ntoal
augh.
“
Babai
sgoi
ngt
oki
l
lus”shesay
s.
“
Notunl
essweaskMagot
alkt
ohi
m”Isay
.
Shel
aughsl
i
keIhav
esai
daj
oke.
“
IbetMasol
dusoutt
hemi
nut
esheent
eredher
bedroom,
Idon’
tknowwhatbabadoesbutMat
ends
tospil
lst
hebeans”shesay
slaughi
ng.
“Zamodon’tj
okeli
ket
hatifhefindoutt
hatIam at
Nqubeko’
splacehewi
llki
l
l bot
hmeandmybaby ”I
say.
“ThenwebettergetBhut
ionoursi
debecauseMa
can’tbet
rust
edshame”shesays.
“Iwi
l
lcally
oubef or
eleavi
ngt
hehousemay
bewe
canarr
ivetoget
her”Isay
.
“
Soundsl
i
kepl
anIl
ovey
oul
astbor
n”shesay
s.
“
Ilov
eyout
oosi
si”Isayendi
ngt
hecal
l
.

Ihearat
huddi
ngsoundassoonasIgetof
fthe
phonewi
thZamoandrushtothebedr
oom.
If
indNqubekoont
hef
loorwi
thhi
shandsonhi
s
st
omach.
Ir
ushtohim andnot
icet
hebl
oodcomi
ngoutofhi
s
mouthandnose.
“
Baby
”
It
urnhi
m overwhenhedoesn’
trespondandnot
ice
hi
sdil
atedpupi
l
s.
It
akemyphoneandcal
ltheambul
ance.
“
Nqubekodon’
tdot
hist
ome”Ishout
.

Theambulancear
ri
vesandtakeshi
m al
l
owi
ngmet
o
ri
dewit
hthem att
heback.
Themedicshav
eanoxygenmaskoverhi
smout
h
andnosemonit
ori
nghi
sunst
ableBp.
Wegett
othehospi
tal
andt
hemedi
csr
ushhi
min.
Iam bar
ef ootedandrunni
ngaf
tert
hestret
cherli
ke
amadper sonwhenhesai dhewassickIdi
dn’t
knowitwast hisbad.
“
Whathappened”t
hedoct
orasksl
ooki
ngatme.
“Idon’
tknowhesai
dhewassi
ckbutt
hat
’sal
lI
know”Isay.
“
Bpdr
oppi
ng”oneoft
henur
seshout
s.
“
Hear
tst
oppi
ngwear
eloosi
nghi
m”t
heyshout
.
“
Emer
gencyr
oom now”Thedoct
orshout
s.

Oneoft
henur
sehel
psmesi
tdown.
“
Doy
ouhav
eany
oney
oucancal
l
”sheasks.
Il
ookatmyphoneandnod.
Idi
almyf
atherandhepi
cksupsi
mmedi
atel
y.
“
Yey
e”hesay
s.
“
Baba”
Mychestt
ight
ensasIst
ruggl
etobr
eat
he.
“Bay
ede”hisvoi
cei
sst
ernbutatt
hemomentIcan’
t
sayanyt
hing.
Thenur
setakesthephonefrom meandt
ell
smy
fat
hert
ocomet othehospi
tal.
“I
t’
sjustapanicki
twon’
tki
l
lyouj
ustbr
eat
he”t
he
ki
ndnur sesay
s.

.
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
Bay
ede’
skeeper

#40

Ihav
en’theardany
thi
ngsi
ncet
heyt
ookhi
mtot
he
emergencyroom.
Myhearti
spoundi
ngsomanyt
hought
sar
erushi
ng
t
hroughmyhead.
Thefearoflosi
nghim want
stogett
hebet
terofme
butIpushittothebackofmyhead.
Iwantnothi
ngothert
hantobol
tint
oacrybuthe’
s
notdeadyetandIshoul
dn’
tdar
ebringt
hatki
ndof
badluckuponhim.
Whati
fhedi
esandIl
osehi
m?t
hequest
ingcr
eeps
uponme.
Iqui
ckl
yshakemyheadandwipemysweat
ypal
ms
onmythighst
aki
nganot
herdeepbr
eat
h.
It
hinkabouthowtir
edhelookedwhenhedr
opped
bythehouse,
Ihonest
lyt
houghthewasuptohi
sold
t
ri
cksl
i
ttl
edi
dweknowhewasr
eal
l
ysi
ck.
Ideepl
ysi
ghdammitIshoul
dhav
emadesur
ethat
heseesadoct
or.
“
Bay
ede”
Ir
aisemyheadandseemyfathert
oget
herwi
th
Nethast
andi
nginf
rontofme.
Ist
andupandgiv
ebabaahugt
hent
urnt
ogi
ve
Nethaonet
oo.
“
Whathappened”myf
atherasks.
“Idon’
tknowbabaoneminut
ehewasokayandthe
nexthewasonthefl
oorbl
eedingt
hroughhi
smout
h
andnose”Isay
.
“
Youdi
dn’
tsl
eephome”hesay
s.
I
t’
smoreofaquest
iont
hanastat
ementIguess
mamakeptt
oherwordandsai
dnothi
ng
“
Babanowi
snott
het
ime”Net
hasay
s.
Thedoctorwal
ksupt
ousasmyf at
heri
saboutt
o
bombardmewi t
hmorequest
ions.
“
Howi
she”Iask.
“Heisst
ablefornowbutthenextf
ewhour
sar
est
il
l
cri
ti
cal
”thedoctorsay
s.
“
What
’swr
ongwi
thhi
m”Babaasks.
“
Wesuspectpoi
sonwearest
ill
wait
ingforthe
t
oxi
col
ogyrepor
ttoconf
ir
m”thedoctorsay
s.
“
Poi
son”Isay
.
Mykneesbuckl
easIslumpbackont
hechai
rwho
woul
dwanttopoisonNqubeko.
“Yeshissympt
omsar esimil
art
othoseofpoi
soni
ng
wesuspectThall
ium poi
soni
ngwhichi
sslow
poison”t
hedoctorsays.
“
Canweseehi
m”Iask.
“Iam afr
aidyoucan’tseehimlikeIsai
dhi
s
condi
tioniscri
ti
calandit’
stouchandgoatthe
moment ”thedoctorsays.
“
Doct
orpl
easeIwon’
tbel
ong”Isay
.
Hel
ooksatmyf
atherandnodshi
shead.
“Justf
orafewminut
esandpleasedon’tbealar
med
bywhatyouaregoi
ngtosee”thedoctorsays.
Myst
omachturnst
hethoughtofl
osi
nghim seems
t
obetheonethi
ngpoppi
ngupatthetopofmyhead.
“
Letmecomewi
thy
ou”Net
hasay
s.
“
It
’sokayIcandot
his”Isay
.
Ifol
lowthedoct ortoNqubeko’
sroom andst
andby
thedoorlookingathim pl
uggedtoamachinewit
ha
pipedownhi sthroat.
“
Iwil
lgi
vey
ouaf
ewmi
nut
es”t
hedoct
orsay
s
wal
ki
ngout
.
Iwal
kov
ert
othebedandset
tl
edownnextt
ohi
m.
Hel
ooksabitpal
eIswal
l
owhar
dandhol
dhi
shand
t
aki
ngdeepbreat
hes.
“
Sthandwasam pl
easedon’
tdot
hist
ous”Isay
.
It
hinkbacktowhenitwasl
i
febutwi
thoutNqubeko
i
nandf eel
tear
ssti
ngmyeyes.
“Iam notr
eadyt
odothi
sli
fet
hingwi
thouty
ou
agai
nNqubekoIcan’
tsopl
easedon’
tmakemedoi
t.
Il
ovey
ouPhakathwayoandIwanttospendt
herest
ofmyl
ifewi
thyou,
Idon’
twantanyoneel
sebuty
ou
sopl
easedon’
tst
opf
ight
ing”Isay
.
Il
ookathi
seyesandt
her
e’snosi
gnofhi
m mov
ing
orwaki
ngup.
“Don’
tmakemef
acet
hisworl
dwit
houty
ouYey
eye,
I
am beggi
ngy
out
ofi
ghtandcomebackt
omeokay.
Iam scar
edNqubekoIdon’
twanttolosey
oumy
l
ovesopleaseopenyourey
es”Isay.
Ihol
dhi
shandt
ightandcl
osemyey
es.
“DearHeavenlyFatherIcomebeforeyouint he
nameoft helordJesusChr i
stpl
easedon’ttakehi
m
awayfrom me,Iaskt haty
ouhealhim andbringhi
m
backtomepl easesav ehiminJesusnameAmen”I
openmyey esandst andupt oki
sshisforehead.
“
Ilov
eyouPhakat
hway
oandy
ouar
enotgoi
ngt
o
l
eaveme”Isay
.
Iwal
koutofhiswar
dandhearsomecommot
ion
comi
ngfrom t
hewait
ingar
ea.
“
Leav
e”Nqubeko’smot
hershout
swhi
l
ePhet
hil
e
t
ri
estocal
m herdown.
“
Mamapl
ease”Phet
hil
esay
s.
“Idon’
tcarehowpowerf
ulyouareorhowmany
peopleyouhaveki
l
ledIsai
dleav
e”shesay
stomy
father
.
Ial
mostdr
opdeadont hefl
oorwhenthewor
dsecho
andmyfat
herdoesn’
tfl
inchonebi
t.
“
BabaIt
hinkweshoul
dleav
e”Net
hasay
scal
mly
.
That’
sanot
hert
hingIl
oveaboutmybrot
herhi
sway
ofknowi
ngwhattosayandwhentosayit
.
“
Iwi
l
lnotl
eav
eNqubekoal
one”myf
athersay
s.
“
Asifyoucar
eaboutmysonal
lthi
sisy
ourf
aul
t”
Nqubeko’
smothersay
s.
“Mysonislay
ingther
ebecauseofy
ou,
hehasblood
onhishandsbecauseofy
ouandnowhe’sbeen
poi
soned.
I
fany
thi
nghappenstohimjustknowt
hathi
sbl
ood
i
sonyourhands”shesay
sturni
ngtof
aceme.
“
Ma”Isay
.
Shewal
ksov
erandgi
vesmeahug.
“
Ican’
tlosemysonBay
edenotwhenIhav
elosthi
s
f
ather
”shesay
scr
ying.
Iholdhert
ightandl
ookatmyfathermay
beal
lthe
thi
ngspeoplesayabouthi
m ar
etrue.
HelooksbackatmeandIcanseet
hehur
tinhi
s
ey
esmyf atherl
ovesNqubeko.
Ipul
lawayf
rom herhol
dandf
aint
lysmi
l
e.
“Mayouofall
peopleknowthatNqubekoi
sst
rong
andhewil
lpull
thr
ough”Isay.
Il
ookatPhet
hil
eandsmi
l
egi
vi
ngherahug.
“He’sgoi
ngt
obefi
ne”
Isaypul
li
ngawayf
rom her
holdandcat
chNet
ha’
seyesonher
.
“IknowandIam sorr
yaboutthet
hingsMaj
ustsai
d
she’sj
usthur
ti
ng”shesays.
Inodmyheadandwatchast
heybot
hmaket
hei
r
waytoNqubeko’
swar
d.
“
Babaar
eyouokay
”Iask.
Hefai
ntl
ysmi
l
esandnodshi
sheadopeni
nghi
s
ar
ms.
Isl
owl
yfal
li
ntohi
sembr
aceandcl
osemyey
es.
“Iam notper
fectBayedebutIlov
ethatboyli
kehe’
s
myownandIwoul dneverhurthi
m oral
low
someonet ohurthi
m”hesay s.
“
Ipromi
seIwil
lfi
ndwhoeverdi
dthi
stohi
m andt
hey
wi
ll
pay”hesay
spull
ingaway.
“Let
sgetyouhomet her
e’snousebeingherewhen
Zandil
eist
hisupset
”hesay sheav
il
ysighi
ng.
Het
akesmyhandsaswewal
koutheadi
ngout
side.
.
.
Nqubeko

Iopenmyeyesandcl
osethem agai
nIhav
ebeen
sl
ippi
ngi
nandoutofconsci
ousness.
Idon’
tknowwhathappened,
thel
astthi
ngt
hatI
rememberi
smemaki ngmywayt othebat
hroom
andfal
li
ng.
Myt hr
oati
sparchedIcan’
tev
enseem t
oswal
l
ow
becauseofthi
sthi
nginmymouth.
Itrypull
i
ngitoutbutmyhandsf
all
backont
hebedI
feeldrai
nedandtir
ed.
Myeyesighti
sblur
rybutIcant
ell
Iam att
he
hospi
tal
thei
rbeepi
ngmachinesoundi
sirr
it
ati
ng.
Iheart
hedooropenbutwit
hmysi
ghtbl
urr
yIcan’
t
seetheper
sonwalki
ngin.
Thesmellofci
garhi
tsmynost
ri
lsast
heper
son
takesf
urt
herst
epstowar
dsme.
“Wellwel
lwell
ifiti
sn’
tthemightyandf
ear
ed
Phakathway
o”t hestr
angersays.
Idon’
trecogni
zet
hev
oicebutIcant
ell
it’
saman.
“Youareahardmant oki
llafterallmyef
for
tsy
ou
arest
il
lbreat
hing”hesay
sl aughing.
Heheav il
ysighsasIcl
osemyeyesandopent
hem
agai
nf eeli
ngpowerl
essnotbei
ngabl
etodo
anyt
hingorseet hemanwhoputmehere.
“
Let
’sseei
fyoucansur
viv
ethi
slastshor
t”hesay
s
t
aki
ngsomethi
ngoutofhi
spocket.
Il
ayther
eandt
hinkaboutBay
edeandherbeaut
if
ul
smil
eknowi
ngthatshel
ovesmebri
ngssomuchj oy
t
omyhear
t.

.
..
..
..
..
..
.
Sponsor
ed
Bay
ede’
skeeper

#41

Thehospi
talcal
l
edinthemiddl
eofthenightt
olet
usknowthatNqubekotookatur
nfortheworst.
If
oundmysel
fcr
yingsohar
dmyf
atherhadt
ocal
m
medown.
Thedri
vet
othehospi
tal
wast
heworsti
twassilent
andsomberasi
fweweremour
ninghi
m al
ready
.
Ihat
edthefeel
i
ngbecausei
tfel
tsof
ami
l
iarandi
t
l
eftabi
ttert
ast
einmymouth.
Lif
eisnothingcompar
edtodeathyouseewi
thli
fe
yougetsomanychancesandmakesomany
mistakesandwakeupthenextdaytodobet
ter
.
Butwithdeathit
’sf
inal
,deat
ht akesawaythepeopl
e
weloveitstr
ipsusoffthem andnev ergi
vesusthe
chancetoseethem everagain.
Deat
hisabi
gdeal
it’
sfi
nal
it’
sthatonet
hingy
ou
don’
twi
shev
ent
houghi
t’
sinev
itabl
e.

Wemakeoutwayi nsideMamawal
ki
ngbesi
demeI
am gr
atef
ult
hatshe’sher
e.
Ithi
nkaboutNqubeko’
smot herandIcan’
timagi
ne
thepai
nshe’sgoi
ngthrough.
Wemeett
hedoct
orhal
fwayt
ohi
sof
fi
ce.
“Iam sor
rytohavecall
edy outhi
slat
ebutmr
Phakathwayohadasetback, wearenotsur
ewhat
causeditbuthi
sheartstopped”thedoct
orsay
s.
Ial
mostdr
opt
othef
loorbutNet
hahol
dsme.
“
Bay
ede”babacal
l
sout
.
“Hei
st heI
CUf
ight
ingf
orhi
sli
fe”t
hedoct
or
cont
inues.
Ifeelt
heurgetot
hrowupandf
ail
tohol
dmy
sel
fasI
spil
lever
ythi
ngonthef
loor
.
“
Nur
se”t
hedoct
orcal
l
sout
.
Myf
atherl
i
ftsmeup.
“Ngekengi
fel
wey i
nganeminanil
okhuninanaz
dammi tman”(
Iwil
lnotletmetchi
lddi
ewhi l
eyou
arebusybei
ngslow)hesays.
“
MrNgubanepl
easecal
m down”t
hedoct
orsay
s.
Ifeelanot
herl
oadcomi
ngandt
hrowupal
lov
ermy
father
.
Hedoesn’
tfl
i
nchorshowanysi
gnsofdi
sgustashe
wal
kswithmetothedoct
orsof
fi
ce.
Helaysmedownont
hebedandwi
peshi
msel
fof
f
wi
ththewi
pesmamahandshi
m.
Shemovesherf
ocusonmeandhandsmeabot
tl
e
ofwat
er.
“
Dri
nkt
hisi
twi
l
lhel
pfornow”shesay
s.
It
aket
hebot
tl
eofwat
erandf
ini
shi
tinonego.
Isi
tupst
rai
ghtonceIhav
eregai
nedmyst
rengt
h.
“Iam sorr
ymi ssIdidn’
tmeant
oscareyouandl
i
keI
saidhe’si
nt heICUandwedon’tknowi
fhe’
sgoi
ng
tomake”t hedoctorsays.
If
eel
myhear
tdr
opt
othepi
tofmyst
omachi
fthi
s
mandi
est
henIam af
rai
dIwon’
tsur
viv
eit
.
Myfatherl
ooksatt
hedoctorandcl
i
ckhi
stongue
cl
ear
lyannoyedbytheman.
“Net
hacall
Mandl
akhet
ell
himt
hatweneedhi
m”
babasay
s.
“It
’scl
earsomeonedidsomethi
ngtohim noonej
ust
takesaturnfort
heworstwi
thoutsomethi
ng
happening”hesaysl
ooki
ngatthedoct
or.
Thedoct
orswall
owsanymanwoul
dcr
ackundermy
fat
her
’si
ntensest
are.
“Iwascall
edinbyt henurseondut yshesaw
someonewal kingoutofhisroom sherushedtoMr
Phakathwayo’sroom andhishear
thadst opped,we
revi
vedhim andputhimi nint
ensi
veunitcare”the
doctorsays.
“
Babawhatdoest
hismean”Iask.
Hei
gnor
esmeandf
acest
hedoct
or.
“Fi
xhisdi
schar
gepaper
swear
etaki
nghi
m”Baba
says.
“
Butsi
ryouar
enothi
snextofki
nhi
smot
heri
s”t
he
doct
orsay
str
yingt
oputupaf
ight
.
“Swazi
pleasetakeBayedegotot
hecarIneedt
o
havewordwiththedoctor
”hesay
s.
Hi
svoi
ceisdeadl
yitremi
ndsmeoft
hef
ir
stt
imeI
methi
m andhewarnedNetha.
Mamahelpsupasweheadout
,Net
hashut
ti
ngt
hem
doorbehi
ndus.
“
Mawhat
’sgoi
ngt
ohappeni
nther
e”Iask.
Shesweet
lyl
aughs.
“
Yourfat
heri
sgoi
ngtohavewordwi t
hthedoct
or
t
hatr
efuseshi
mtotakeNqubeko”shesays.
Inodmyheadanddeci
denott
oaskany
mor
e
quest
ions.
Ist
oponmyt
racksandl
ookatmama.
“
MaIneedt
oseebef
oreIl
eav
e”Isay
.
Shenodsherheadandwalksovert
ooneoft
he
nursesshet
alkst
oherandthenasksmetof
oll
ow
them.
Iam notal
l
owedt
ogeti
nbutIcanseehi
mthr
ough
t
hewi
ndow.
Heispluggedi
ntoal
lthesemachi
nesandhel
ooks
hel
pless.
Il
ookathi
m andwi
pemytear
sthi
sfeel
sli
kea
ni
ght
mareandIwantt
owakeup.
“Comesisi
letsgett
othecarbef
orey
ourf
ather
blowsagasket”Masays.
.
.
It
’sbeentwodayssinceNqubekowast akenfrom
thehospit
alt
oGodknowswher e,babasaidthey
can’
triskhav
inghi
mi ntheopenvulner
ableto
enemies.
Iaskedtoseehim andheref
usedheev
enwentas
farashir
ingsecur
it
yforNqubeko’
smot
herand
Phethi
le.
Beingawayfrom Nqubekonotbychoicehur
tsand
knowingthatsomeoneisoutther
etry
ingtokil
lme
doesn’tsi
twellwi
thme.
Ihav
etr
iedt
othi
nkofaf
ewpeopl
ewhohav
eiti
nfor
hi
m butIcan’
tseem t
ofi
gur
eoutany
thi
ng.
IknowZamil
ehasi
tinf
ormebutshewoul
dnev
er
bethatst
upi
d.
AndLi
am hewoul
dneverhur
tmel
i
ket
hatIknowhe
woul
dneverdot
hat.
Mybedroom dooropensandThandowal
ksi
n
hol
dingatr
ay.
Thesmel
lofr
ott
eneggsengul
fsmet
othepoi
ntof
want
ingt
othr
owup.
“
Mor
ning”shesay
s.
“
Mor
ningsi
si”Isay
.
Sheplacesthetraynextt
omether
eisdrytoastand
teathenther
e’scoff
eeandanot
herpl
ateful
lof
scrambledeggs.
Iscr
unchmynoseatt
hehor
ri
blest
enchcomi
ng
fr
om theseeggs.
Ist
andupandopent
hewi
ndows.
“
Howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng”sheasks.
“
Iam okayIj
ustmi
ssNqubekot
hat
’sal
l
”Isay
.
“
Imadey
ousomet
hingt
oeatsi
si”shesay
s.
“
Ithi
nkIwi
l
lhav
ethet
oastandt
eapl
ease”Isay
.
Shel
i
ftshert
opupandt
akesoutapr
egnancyt
est
.
Ial
mostbur
nmy
sel
fwi
tht
het
ea.
“
Sisi
”Isay
.
“
Taket
het
estBay
ede”shesay
s.
Thedooropenswi t
hZamothrowi
ngher
sel
finshe
stopsandlooksatthet
esti
nmyhandandslowl
y
shutsthedoor.
“
Okaywhat
’sgoi
ngon”sheasks
“Yoursist
erispregnantandshe’
sgoi
ngt
otot
akea
pregnancytest
”Thandosay s.
She’
sanursesosheknowsthesethingsandshe’
s
toocal
m consi
der
ingt
hatIam mightbepregnant
.
“
Haaaasi
sThando”Zamosay
s.
“
SukumaBayedeuqondeemt
hoy
i”(
standupandgo
t
othetoi
l
et)Thandosay
s.
Igetonmyf
eetandwal
kinsi
det
het
oil
et.
Ipeeonthest
ickandwal
koutpl
aci
ngi
tont
hesi
de
ofthebed.
Myner
vesar
eshotmyhear
tispoundi
ng.
“
Ican’
tbepr
egnant
”Isay
.
“Wel
lyoucanespeci
all
yify
ouhav
eunpr
otect
edsex”
shesays.
“
She’sri
ghtandy
ouhavebeensl
eepi
ngwi
th
Nqubeko”Zamosay
s.
It
widdl
emyt
humbsandsi
gh.
Thandost
andsupandt
akest
hepr
egnancyt
est
readi
ngi
t.
“Congr
atul
ati
onsBay
edeyouar
epr
egnant
”shesay
s
slumpi
ngbackonthebed.
Itaket
hepr
egnancyt
estandr
eadi
twi
thoneey
e
open.
Iseet
wov
eryv
isi
blel
i
nesont
hest
ick.
“
That
’sal
i
eIam notpr
egnant
”Isay
.
Zamosnat
ch’
sthet
estandr
aisesherey
ebr
ow.
“Well
thet
estsay
syouar
e,meani
ngy
ouar
e”she
says.
Il
ookatt
het
estagai
nandcl
aspmyhandst
oget
her
.
“Pleasedon’
ttel
lanyonebutev
enBhut
iBandi
l
e
pleasenotunti
lIhav
ebeent ot
hedoct
orandmade
sure”Isay.
Sheheavi
lysighsri
ghtnowIam aski
nghert
okeep
somethi
ngfrom herhusband.
“
Iwon’
ttel
l
”shesay
s.
Il
ookatZamowhoshr
ugshershoul
der
s.
“
Iwon’
tsayany
thi
ngmi
na”shesay
s.
“Dr
inkyourteaandfi
nishthatt
oasty
ouwillf
eel
bett
er”Thandosaysstandi
ngupheadingf
orthe
door.
“
WhatifIam r
eal
l
ypr
egnantandNqubekodi
esone
me”Iask.
Iam r
eadyt
odot
hiswi
thouthi
m notagai
n.
“
Don’tevent
hinkthatf
arNqubekowi
l
lmakeity
ou
j
usthavetot
rustandhavefai
lt
hnoweat
”shesays
smi
l
ing.
Isi
poft
hebi
tt
ert
eaandt
akebi
tesatt
hedr
ytoast
.

.
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
Sponsor
ed
Bay
ede’
skeeper

#42

Anot
herdayandIsti
l
lfeel
gloomyandt i
redIdidn’
t
getmuchsleepapar
tofmewi shesthatNqubeko
washeresowecanfacethistoget
herevenifi
t’
s
j
ustascare.
Imightbeindenial
butdeepdownIknowt
her
e’sa
possi
bil
it
ythatIam expect
inghi
schi
l
d.
Thi
sbri
ngsbackbit
tersweetmemor
iesIl
ostachi
l
d
andnowIam goi
ngtohaveoneandIdon’
tknow
howtofeel
abouti
t.
Iwalkoutofmybedroom andfi
ndmamai
nthe
l
ivi
ngroom readi
ngherbi
ble.
Sher
emov
eshergl
assesandl
ooksatme.
“
Arey
ougoi
ngsomewher
e”sheasks
“
Iam goi
ngt
ocheckuponNqubeko’
smot
her
”Isay
.
“
That
’ski
ndofy
ousheneedsal
lthesuppor
tshecan
get
”shesay
s.
Shel
ooksatmeandsmi
l
es.
“Yeyeareyouokay
”sheasksl
ooki
ngatme
suspici
ousl
y.
“
YesMaIam okayj
ustf
eel
i
ngabi
tti
red”Isay
.
Shenodsherheadt
akeshergl
asses.
“
Ify
ouneedany
thi
ngj
ustt
ell
meIam her
e”shesay
s.
Iki
sshercheekandgr
abmycarkey
swal
ki
ngout
.
Idri
vet
othePhakat
hway
oresi
denceandpar
kint
he
dri
veway.
ThehouseisbigNqubekoreal
l
ydidgoodt
hehouse
i
sjustbeaut
if
ulhi
sfathermustbepr
oud.
Ist
epoutoft
hecarandmakemywayi
nsi
det
he
house.
Phethi
leopensthedoorl
ett
ingmeinshehasthis
beauti
fulgl
owuponherandIhav ebeenmeaningto
askwhatproductssheusesonherface.
“
Hey
”shesay
smov
ingoutoft
heway
.
Iwal
kinandcl
oset
hedoor
.
“Mamaisi
nherbedr
oom”shesay
sgr
abbi
ngher
pur
se.
Shel
ooksi
nahur
ryandexci
tedt
oo.
“
Arey
ougoi
ngsomewher
e”Iask.
Shesmi
l
eswel
lmor
eli
kebl
ushes.
“
Ihav
eameet i
ngandi
fIdon’
tleav
enowIam goi
ng
t
obelat
e”shesay
s.
“
Okay
”Isay
.
“
Ilov
eyouby
e”shesay
s.
Shecl
osest
hedoorwal
ki
ngout
.
Imakemywayt oMrsPhakat
hwayo’
sbedr
oom and
fi
ndhersi
tt
ingonherbedgoi
ngthr
oughanal
bum.
Shel
ooksupandsmi
l
eswhensheseesme.
“
Bay
edesi
si”shesay
s.
Iwalkoverandset
tl
edownnexttohershehol
dsmy
handandshowsmepi ct
uresofNqubekowhenhe
wasjustababy.
Hewasal way
sagoodlooki
ngbabyand
mischi
evousbutki
ndt
oo.
“
Hisf
atherl
ovedt
aki
ngpi
ctur
esofhi
m”shesay
s.
“
Mahe’
snotdead”Isay
.
“
IknowbutImi
ssmysonBayedeandIam af
rai
d
t
hatwhoev
erdi
dthi
swon’
tst
op”shesays.
Ipl
aceahandov
ermybel
l
yandsmi
l
e.
“
Mal
etmet
akey
ououtf
orl
unch”Isay
.
Shesmi
l
esandshakesherhead.
“
Idon’
tthi
nkIwi
l
lbegoodcompany
”shesay
s.
“I
t’
sokaywedon’
thav
etot
alkl
etmemakey
our
day”Isay
.
“Iwi
l
lbeintheki
tchenwait
ingf
ory
ou”Ist
andup
andheadbacktokit
chen.
Shejoi
nsmeaf
terawhi
lel
ooki
ngbeaut
if
uli
nher
sunnyyel
l
owdr
essandhat
.
Webothwal
koutoft
hehouseandl
ockbehi
ndus
maki
ngourwayt
omycar.
Idon’
tknowwhatIam doi
ngbutIwantt
omaket
his
womanhappy.
Iwanttomakeherdayandi
fdoi
ngt
hismakesher
herdaythensobei
t.
Ihadcal
l
edi
nthemor
ningmaki
ngmyappoi
ntment
.
Ipar
koutsi
det
hedoct
or’
sandstepoutl
ooki
ngat
Nqubeko’
smot
herst
il
li
nthecar
.
“
Ma”Isay
.
“
Bay
ede’
swhat
’sgoi
ngonar
eyousi
ck”sheasks.
“
MaIam notsi
ckpl
easest
epoutoft
hecar
”Isay
.
Shestepsoutoft
hecarandsl
owl
yfol
l
owsme
i
nside.
Iwalkuptot
her
ecept
ionar
eaandaskaboutmy
appoint
ment
.
Iam t
oldt
otakeaseatandwai
tfort
hedoct
or.
“Bayedesizokwenzanil
a”(Bay
edearewedoi
ngher
e)
sheaskswhi sper
ingandlooki
ngar
oundseei
ng
pregnantwomen.
“
Bay
edeMhl
ongo”t
henur
secal
l
sout
.
Thatsur
nameagai
nIam y
ett
ochangei
t.
“
Mamal
et’
sgo”Isay
.
Shepi
cksupherbagandf
oll
owsmei
nsi
de.
Thedoct
orst
andsupandgr
eat
siswi
thasmi
l
eit
’sa
woman.
“Hi
,
mynameisBayedeandt
hisismymother.I
cal
l
edear
li
erandmadeasonarappoi
ntment
”Isay
Il
ookatNqubeko’
smot
herandsmi
l
eherexpr
essi
on
i
spri
cel
ess.
“YesIrememberi
sthi
syourf
ir
stpr
egnancy
”the
doctorasks.
“
NoImi
scar
ri
edmyf
ir
stchi
l
d”Isay
.
Shenodsherheadandt
ell
smet
oli
eont
hebed.
Imovemyt
-shi
rtupasNqubeko’
smot
herhol
dsmy
hand.
“Thi
smaybeabi
tcol
d”t
hedoct
orsay
sput
ti
ngt
he
gelonme.
Il
aysti
l
landwat
chassher
unst
hepr
obeov
ermy
bel
ly
.
Thedoct
orsmi
l
esandpoi
ntsatt
hescr
een.
“Thatsmal
lbl
otr
ightt
her
eisy
ourbaby
”thedoct
or
says.
Ilookatt
hesmall
blackdotandsmi
lei
t’
sjustadot
that’
sgoi
ngtodevel
opint
oawholehumanman.
Iwasn’tevensur
ethatthet
estswereaccur
ateIwas
j
usttakingachancebutIam happyt
hatIdi
d.
“
All
done”t
hedoct
orsay
swi
pingmeup.
Iaskforascanjusttokeepremi
ndi
ngmy
sel
fthatI
am carr
yingpr
eciouscargo.
“Iwi
l
lneedyoutocomebackagainnextweeksoI
canseehowfaral
ongyouareandprescr
ibeyou
somevit
amins”t
hedoctorsay
s.
Inodmyheadandgetmybagwal
ki
ng.
“Iam goi
ngtobeagrandmot
heroht
hanky
ou
Bayede”shesay
shuggingme.
“Ican’
tbeli
evemysoni
sgoi
ngtobeafather
”she
saysgett
ingover
whel
medbyheremot
ions.
“
Didy
out
ell
him bef
orehegothospi
tal
i
zed”she
asks.
Ishakemyhead.
“
Idi
dn’
tknow,
Ionl
yfoundoutaf
ewday
sago”Isay
.
“Youhavetotel
lhi
m Bay
edemaybet
hiswi
l
lhel
p
him comebacktous”
shesay
s.
Inodmyheadseei
ngt
hesmi
l
eonherf
ace.
“
Thankyou,
youdon’
tknowhowmucht
hismeanst
o
me”shesay
s.
“
Ithi
nkweshoul
dgoshoppi
ng”shesay
sexci
tedl
y.
“Mait’
ssti
l
learl
yandnooneknowsaboutt
hisandI
wouldli
ketokeepi
tthatwayt
il
lNqubekoi
sback”I
say
.
Shenodshead.
“Iwon’
ttel
lanyoneunt
ilt
hef
atherknowsbutIcan
sti
ll
buymygr anbabysomet
hingcute”shesay
s
“
Let
’sgospoi
lthel
i
ttl
eone”shesay
slaughi
ng.
Alt
houghIt
hinkt
hisi
sabi
tpr
emat
urebutIal
l
owher
tobehappy
.
Idr
opheroffatt
hehouseaft
ershespentsomuch
onababy’
snotevenhere.
Ileavet
heclotheswi
thherj
ustupunt
ilIam r
eadyt
o
tellt
hepar
ents.
Iappr
eciat
ehergest
ureandhopef
ull
ythi
swon’
tgo
onforthewhol
eninemonths.
Idr
ivehomeandgetacal
lj
ustasIpar
kint
hedr
ive
way.
“
Hel
lomayIspeaktoBay
adeMhl
ongo”
thev
oiceon
t
heotherendsay
s.
“
Yest
hisshe,
speaki
ng”Iask.
“MynameisPear
landIam call
ingfr
om Nzimande
account
ant
swit
hregar
dtoy ourappl
icat
ion.
Iam cal
li
ngtoletyouknowt
hatwehavesetan
appoint
mentforyouonWednesday
”shesays.
“Thef
ulldet
ail
sar
eal
readysentt
oyouv
iaemai
l
”
shesays.
“
Thanky
oumuch”Isay
.
“
It
’sapl
easur
ehav
eagooddaymam”shesay
s.
Iendthecal
landsmil
eIhadsentmycvtosomany
consul
ti
ngcompaniesandf
inal
l
ysomethi
ngcomes
up.

.
..
..
..
..
Sponsor
ed
Bay
ede’
skeeper

#43

Wit
hevery
thi
ngthat’
sgoi ngonIdecidedtol
ookup
Nzi
mandeaccountants,
theyar
eaf astgrowi
ng
companyqui
tei
mpr essi
v e.
Ihavehear
daboutt
hem bef
orebutneverr
eal
l
y
pict
uredmysel
fwor
kingout
sideSpect
or.
Iam ev
engrat
efult
hatLi
am gavemeagood
recommendat
ionseei
ngthatIam goodatmyj
ob.
Eventhoughwepart
edonr
ockyt
ermsIam t
hankf
ul
thathewasn’
tspi
tef
ul.
Iknockonmyf
atherst
udyandl
etmy
sel
fin.
Her
emov
eshi
sgl
assesandl
ooksatme.
“
Yey
e”hesay
s.
Icl
earmyt
hroatandt
akeaseat
.
“
IhopeIam notdi
stur
bingy
oubababuti
t’
sbeen
day
snowandIhav
en’
tseenhi
m”Isay
.
Heheav
esasi
ghandl
eansbackofhi
schai
r.
“Bay
edeIam notdoi
ngthi
stohur
tyouort
okeep
youapar
t,
Iam doi
ngthi
sforhi
mtokeephi
m saf
e”
hesays.
“
IknowbabaandIam gr
atef
ulf
ort
hatbutIr
eal
l
y
misshi
m”Isay
.
“
BabapleaseIj
ustwantt
oseehi
m ev
eni
fit
’sf
ora
l
i
ttl
ebi
t”Isay.
“
FineI
’
llaskNet
hat
oaccompanyy
ou”hesay
s.
“
Thanky
oubaba”Isay
.
Hel
ooksatmeasi
freal
i
zingsomet
hing.
“
Wher
ear
eyougoi
ng”heasks.
“Igotani
nter
viewbabaandIam headedt
her
eri
ght
now”Isay.
“
Iwi
l
laskMandl
akhet
oaccompanyy
ou”hesay
s.
“BabaIdon’
tneedMandl
akhet
obaby
sitme”It
ell
him.
“He’snottheretokeepyoucompanybuttokeepyou
safe,Iwil
lnotar
guewi t
hyouaboutthi
sMandlakhe
wil
l accompanyy ouandthat
’sf
inal
”hesays.
Igr
umbl
eandst
andupal
mostt
ippi
ngt
hechai
rov
er.
Her
aiseshi
sey
ebr
owl
ooki
ngatme.
“
Ngi
yaxol
i
sababa”Isay
.
“
Ihopet
hei
nter
viewgoeswel
l
”hesay
s.
“
Thanky
ou”Isay
.
Icl
oset
hedoorbehi
ndmeandbr
eat
he,
Eversi
ncet
hisNqubekot
hingt
hinshav
en’
tbeent
he
same.
Myf at
heri
salway
sonthephoneandt
her
e’sext
ra
securi
tyev
ery
where.
Il
eavethehousewi
thMandl
akhedr
ivi
ngmet
omy
i
nter
view.
Iam l
edtot
heboar
droom andi
ntr
oducedt
othe
panel
i
st.
Igr
eatev
ery
oneandt
akeaseatatt
hei
rappr
oval
.
“
Let
’sgetr
ightt
oit
”oneoft
hef
emal
epanel
i
stsay
s.
“Wegoty ourcvwhichisi
mpressi
vewechecked
withyourprevi
ousbossandhehadnothi
ngbut
goodthingstosay”shesaysgoi
ngthr
oughwhatI
presumeismyf il
e.
“
Thanky
ou”Isay
.
Il
ookattheonegent
lemanwhohasn’
tsai
dany
thi
ng
j
ustobserv
ingt
hewholemeet
ing.
“
MissMhlongoyourworkisimpeccabl
eandyou
werewor
kingatoneofthemostsuccessf
ul
f
ir
ms,whydidyouresi
gn”theyask.
Icl
earmyt
hroatandsi
tupst
rai
ght
,
“Thanky ouforthequest
ionIcanpromiseyouI
didn’
tleaveundersourcir
cumstancesinfactIlef
t
becauseofper sonalr
easonsthatIhadtoattend
too”Isay .
“Woul
dy oul
iketosharethosereasonsshoul
dwe
consi
dertohir
e”thequietgent
lemansays.
It
urnandl
ookathi
m.
“
LikeIsai
dIl
eftt
hecompanyduet
oper
sonal
r
easonswhi
chhadnoi
mpacti
nmedoi
ngmyj
ob.
Shoul
dyouhi
remejustknowt
hatnotonl
yam Il
oyal
tomyemploy
eesIam al
sodamngoodatmyjob”I
say.
“Iam af
rai
dwi t
hthatat
ti
tudeitmi
ghtbebedi
ffi
cul
t
tofi
ndwor kevenwit
hyourtrackr
ecor
d”oneofthe
panel
istsays.
“I
fthat’st
hecaset
hent hanky
ouf ort
imfi
t’
sclear
withthatwit
hmyatti
tudeIwon’tgett
hisj
ob”Isay
standingup.
“
Youar
ehi
red”t
hegent
lemansay
srai
singhi
shead.
“Shaka”theonef
emal
epanel
i
stsay
sout
ragedby
hisdecisi
on.
Thegent
lemant
urnsandl
ooksatmyi
nter
viewer
.
“Iam sor
ryMrNzimandebuty oucan’
tjusthi
re
anyoneIam heretoadvi
ceyouagainstmaking
rusheddeci
sions”shesays.
Themanst
andsupandwal
ksov
ert
omysi
de.
“Li
keIsaidy
ouarehir
edandmyHRteam wi
ll
contacty
ouwit
hregardt
oyourempl
oyment
cont
ract
”hesay
s.
“
Thanky
ousi
r”Isay
.
“
Cal
lmeShaka”hesay
ssmi
l
ing.
Inodmyheadandshakehi
shand.
“
Welcometomyf ami
l
yIhopewewi
l
lwor
kwel
l
t
ogether
”hesay
s.
“
Thanky
ouf
ort
heoppor
tuni
ty”Isay
.

Ipassedbyt
hei
rHRandgav
ethem myf
ull
det
ail
s.
Knowi
ngIal
readyhav
ethej
obbr
ingsgr
eatr
eli
ef.
Inot
iceMandl
akhet
aki
ngadi
ff
erentr
out
ethatIam
notusedt
o.
“
Thi
sisnott
hewayhome”Isay
.
“Somahhashi
askedmet
otakey
out
oseeNqubeko”
hesays.
“
Whathappenedt
omybr
othert
aki
ngme”Iask.
Hegoesbackt
oconcent
rat
ingont
her
oadi
gnor
ing
me.
“
Bhut
iMandl
akheIaskedy
ouaquest
ion”Isay
.
“Bayedeyourbr
otherhasot
herpr
essi
ngmat
ter
sto
att
endtoo”hesays.
“
Oh”Isay
.
Het
urnst
her
adi
oonandpl
ayssomusi
c.
Wefi
nall
yreachahospit
alt
heplacei
sguardedand
byt
helooksofitonl
ytheel
i
tegetadmit
tedhere.
Iam shockedIneverthoughtIwoul
dsayt
hisabout
ahospital
buttheplacelooksposh.
Wemakeourwayinandweareledt
oNqubeko’
s
f
loort
hemanhashisownf
loor
.
Iwal
kinsi
dehisroom passi
ngsecur
it
yper
sonnel
andMandlakhestay
ingbehi
nd.
Helooksbettermoreal
i
veandl
esspal
e,hei
sno
l
ongerpluggedint
oanymachi
nesj
ustpeacef
ull
y
sl
eeping.
Iwal
koverandl
aynextt
ohi
mli
kehedi
dwi
thme
whenIwasadmit
ted.
Igent
lypl
acehi
shandonmybel
l
y.
“
It
’sst
il
lsmal
lbuti
t’
sther
eandi
tour
s”Isay
.
“
ImissyouPhakat
hwayosomuchalt
houghIam
t
ryi
ngtobestr
ongbutIam af
rai
d.
Irecent
lyfoundoutt
hatwearehavi
ngababyGod
hasblessedusNqubeko,
butIcan’
trai
sethi
sbaby
al
onepl easedon’
tmakemengiyakucel
aNqubeko”I
say.
Imov
eupandki
sshi
sdr
yli
ps.
“
Nqubekov
uka”(
Nqubekowakeup)
Isay
If
eel
tear
sst
ingmyey
esandswal
l
owhar
d.
“Youpr
omisedt
hatyouwouldneverleav
emeso
don’
tgobackonyourpr
omisesthandwasam.
Il
ovey ouNqubekoandIwanty outowakemyhear
t
i
sachingYey engiyakucel
avukaumawakho
uyakudinga”It
ell
him.
Il
ookathi
scl
osedeyesandbi
temylipbr
eaking
downthemov
iesmakethi
stal
kingt
opati
entsthi
ng
easy
.
Iwi
pemyt
ear
sandki
sshi
sfor
ehead.
“
Ilov
eyouandIwi
l
lwai
tfory
ou”Iwhi
sper
.
Il
eav
ethehospi
tal
wishi
ngIhadpower
stowake
hi
mfrom hi
ssl
eep.
Thebl
ueandr
edheadl
i
ght
sbr
ingmebackf
rom my
gl
oomymood.
There’
sapolicevanpar
kedoutsi
dethe
gate,
Mandlakhedri
vesi
nandparkinthedr
iveway
whilehur
ri
edlyst
epoutofthecarandmakemyway
i
nside.
Mamai shol
dingNqubeko’
smot
herwhi
l
ethepol
i
ce
conv
ersewit
hbaba.
Il
ookatmybr
otherandf
eel
myanxi
etyki
cki
n.
“
Bhut
iwhat
’sgoi
ngon”Iask.
Hebi
teshi
slowerl
i
pandbr
eat
hesheav
il
y.
“
Zamo”Ishout
.
“
Phet
hil
eismi
ssi
ng”hesay
scl
enchi
nghi
sjaws.
.
..
..
..
..
..
Sponsor
ed
Bay
ede’
skeeper

#44

Ther
oom spi
nsroundasIhol
dontothewal
l
l
ooki
ngatNetha’
seyesf
il
lwit
htear
s.
IlookatNqubeko’
smot
herandmyowney
esf
il
lwi
th
tears.
Thepol
i
cemankeepsnoddi
nghi
sheadwhi
l
est
il
l
tal
ki
ngt
omyfather
.
“I
fwef i
ndoutanyt
hingwewi
l
llety
ouknow”t
he
poli
cemansays.
“
Thanky
ouof
fi
cerIwi
l
lwal
kyouout
”myf
athersay
s.
Ifeel
ahugelumpform onmyt hr
oatasmuchasI
tr
ypushi
ngthethoughtawaybutit
sclearthat
someoneisouttogetNqubekoanddestroyhim.
Myf
atherwal
ksbacki
nandhel
psmesi
tdown.
“
Babawhati
shappeni
ng”Iask.
“Wear
eunderat
tackBay
ede”hesay
ssoundi
ng
def
eat
ed.
“ButwhowouldtakePhet
hil
eshedoesn’
thav
e
enemies”Isay
.
“Iknowbutwhoev
ert
ookKhethiweisthesame
personwhoti
redt
oki
llNqubeko”hesaysheav
il
y
sighi
ng.
Net
ha’
sphoner
ingsandsi
lencefal
lsuponusal
las
wewat
chandli
stenonhi
sconv er
sati
on.
“
Iam onmyway
”hesay
sendi
ngt
hecal
l
.
“
Babawehav
eapr
obl
em”Hesay
sshaki
nghi
shead.
“
Whati
sit
”Iaskcr
ossi
ngmyf
inger
s.
Myfir
stthoughti
sNqubekoi
tseemsl
i
kei
tnev
er
r
ainsbutpoursint
hisf
amil
y.
“
Net
hat
alkwhati
sit
”Babaasks
“Thewar
ehousecaughtf
ir
e”hesay
scl
osi
nghi
s
eyes.
“
What
”myf
athersay
s.
“
Ever
ythi
ngi
sbur
neddownbaba”Net
hasay
s
br
eat
hingheav
il
y.
Il
ookatmyfat
herandseehowdef
eat
edhei
s
hear
ingt
henews.
“
Weshoul
dleav
e,Bandi
l
e”Babashout
s.
Bandi
l
ewal
ksi
nal
readydr
essedandl
ooksatme.
“
Sengi
l
ungi
l
ebaba”Hesay
s.
Babanodshi
sheadandl
ooksatmamaheav
il
y
si
ghi
ng..
Il
ookatmybrotherandIcan’
treadhi
m hel
ooks
l
ostasi
fli
fehasbeensuckedoutofhim.
“
Hey
”Isay
.
Hel
ooksatmeandf
aint
lysmi
l
es.
Ipul
lhi
mint
oahugandhol
dhi
mri
ght
.
“
Wear
egoi
ngt
ofi
ndher
”Iwhi
sper
.
“
Whati
fwedon’
t”hewhi
sper
sback.
“
Don’tt
hinkli
kethatbabawill
makesuret
hatwe
f
indhersafeandbringherhome”Isay
.
“
Babai
snotSuper
manBay
edehecantf
ix
ev
ery
thi
ng”hesay
spul
l
ingaway
.
Hegrabshisphoneandwal
ksoutf
oll
owi
ngBaba
andBandi
le.
“
ComeZandi
l
elet
sgety
out
obed”Mamasay
s.
Il
ookatNqubeko’
smot
herandshe’
sli
keawal
ki
ng
Zombi
e.
Imakemywayt omybedroom andpl
acemybags
wal
kingoutheadi
ngt
othekit
chen.
ZamoandThandoj
oinmeset
tl
ingdownont
hehi
gh
chai
rs.
Ir
eachfrom t
hefr
ozenicecr
eam andpl
aceitont
he
ki
tchencount
ert
ogetherwi
ththr
eespoons.
“
Not
hingmakessense”Zamosay
s.
“Imeanshecan’tj
ustdi
sappearr
ightsomeonemust
havetakenher
”Zamosay s.
Theicecr
eam issupposedt
omakeusf
eel
bet
ter
butall
thi
sisdepressi
ng.
“
Iam honest
lyscar
edandIfeelf
orZandi
lei
magi
ne
t
hepainshe’
sgoingthr
ough,
hersonisi
nthe
hospi
talandnowherdaughterismissi
ngthat
’st
oo
muchf oroneper
sontohandle”Thandosays.
“
Howareyoufeeli
ngBayededi
dyoumanaget
ogot
t
othedoct
or”sheasks.
“Idi
dandy ouwer
eri
ghtIam car
ryi
ngNqubeko’
s
baby”Isay
.
Theybot
hlookatmeandf
oramomentt
het
rut
h
si
nksin.
Wearefaci
ngadiff
icul
tti
meandIam pr
egnant
anot
herthi
ngIhav
et oworryabout
.
“
Whathappensift
heyf
indherandi
t’
sal
readyt
oo
l
ate”Zamoasks.
“
Zamodon’
tgot
her
e”Isay
.
“She’
sri
ghtthoughsomanywomenandchi
ldr
engo
missi
nginthecountr
yandendupdeadi
nsome
dit
ch”Thandosays.
“
Idon’
twanttothi
nkt
hatfarIj
ustr
efuset
othi
nk
t
hatshemightcomeupdead”Isay
.
I
fPhethi
l
ewindsupdeadtheni
twi
l
lbr
eakNqubeko
nott
omenti
onhismother
.
“Iwentforani
nter
viewt
oday
”Isaybr
aki
ngt
he
sil
ence.
“
Andhowwasi
t”Zamoasks.
“
Igott
hej
ob”Isay
.
“Congratul
ati
onsatleastnowy oucanthi
nkof
somethingelseotherthanthedramathat
’s
happeninghere”Thandosay s.
“I
t’
sbeenal
ongdayIt
hinkweshoul
dgot
osl
eep”
Zamosays.
Iputtheicecr
eam backi
nthef
ri
dgeandtur
nofof
f
thel
ightsandmakemywayt omybedroom.

Theshat
ter
ingoft
hingswakesmeupf
rom mysl
eep.
Ij
umpoutofbedandt
urnont
hel
i
ght
swal
ki
ngout
.
Iam nott
heonl
yonewhoi
sawakei
tseemsl
i
ket
he
whol
ehouseisup.
“
Gobackt
oyourr
ooms”mamasay
s.
“Gi
rlsyouhear
dmal
et’
sgobackt
osl
eep”Thando
says.
Itur
nonmyheel sandmakemywaybackt
omy
bedroom andst
andbythedoor
.
ZamoandThandoal
sowal
kbackt
othebedr
ooms
cl
osi
ngthedoor
sbehi
ndme.
Ikeept
hedooropenonmybedr
oom andt
ipt
oeal
l
thewaytomyfat
hersst
udy
.
Thedoori
ssl
i
ght
lyopenandIhearsomewhi
sper
ing.
Ieav esdr
opandtakeapeakatt
hemessi
nsi
demy
fatherinkneel
i
ngonthefl
oorwi
thmamakneel
i
ngi
n
frontofhim.
“
Mbomv
uyoucan’
tfal
lapar
tnow”mamasay
s.
“
Theyki
ll
edhi
m Swazi
theyki
l
ledmyboy
”Babasay
s
i
nashakyvoi
ce.
Tearsf
il
lmyeyesseei
nghimli
kethi
s,
ther
ewasa
ti
meIdidn’
tcar
eaboutthemanbutseei
ngmy
fat
herhur
ti
nghurt
smet oo.
“
Iknowsthandwasam buty
oucan’tf
all
apartnow
weneedyou,t
heseboy
sneedy out
obest r
ongso
youcanl
eadthem”mamasay s.
“
Theycoul
dn’
tgett
oNqubekonowt
heyhav
eki
l
led
Mandl
akhewhatam Igoi
ngt
otel
lhi
smot
her
”he
say
sbreaki
ngdown.
Mamahol
dshi
shandsandsni
ff
s.
“
Ican’
thol
dthi
sfami
l
ytoget
heri
fyouf
all
apar
tnow
myeni
wam.
Youareoneofthestr
ongestmenIknow,t
her
e’san
enemyoutther
ethatwantstodest
royy
ouandt hey
wil
lgotoanymeanspossibl
e.
Don’
tlett
hem wi
npl
ease”shesay
sinashakyv
oice.
Ihol
dmyt
ear
sasmyf
atherbr
eaksdowni
nmama’
s
arms.
Theykil
l
edBhutiMandlakheIhol
dmychestand
walkbacktomybedroom thi
sisbiggert
hanwhat
anyofusthought
.
If
indmyphoner
ingi
ngandr
usht
oansweri
t.
Il
ookatt
hescr
eenandi
t’
sapr
ivat
enumber
.
“
Hel
l
o”Isay
.
Theper
sonont
heot
herendj
ustbr
eat
hesheav
il
y.
“
Whoi
sthi
s”Iask.
Thebr
eathi
ngsoundper
sist
stil
lIendthecal
land
putmyphonedown,
Iswi
tchitoffputi
tundert
he
pi
ll
ow.

.
..
..
..
..
..
..
Sponsor
ed
Bay
ede’
sKeeper

#45

AnotherdayandPhet
hilehasn’
tbeenf oundthe
pol
icecamebackandt oldi
sthatitseemsl i
keshe
di
sappearedint
othi
nkair.
Hercarwasfoundi
nanabandonedar
eat
her
e
weren’
tanysi
gnsofast
ruggl
e.
Itseemsli
keshejustl
eftt
hecartherewi t
hallher
belongi
ngswhichissounl
ikePhethil
e.Iknowher
andsheshouldwouldneverdoany t
hingofthatsort
.
It
oldmyfat
heraboutmyi
nter
viewandhowIgott
he
j
obonthespot
.
He’
snothappywithmestar
ti
ngnewwor
kespeci
all
y
wit
hever
ythi
ngthat’
sgoi
ngon.
Idon’
tbl
amehimthought
hingsaret
oughandwe
sti
l
ldon’
tknowwhoisdoi
ngthis.
Icoul
dn’
tst
ayatt
hehouseIhadt
ogetoutf
orsome
ai
r.
Iwentt
oworktosi
gnmycont
ractandIwast
oldt
o
wai
tintheCEO’
sof
fice.
Ihavebeensi
tti
ngher
eforov
eranhournowwai
ti
ng
forMrNzimande.
Il
ookatt
hetimeandsi
ghst
andi
ngupIpr
omi
sed
babat
hatIwoul
dn’
tbel
ong.
Thedooropensj
ustasIam aboutt
otoucht
he
handl
eandMrNzimandewal ksi
n.
“
Miss”hesay
s.
Il
ookathi
m makehi
swayi
n.
“
Pleasesi
t”hesay
s.
“
MrNzimandeasy oucanseeIwasal
readyonmy
wayoutaf
terspendi
nganhouri
nyouroffi
ce”Isay
.
“
Iwashel
dupi
nameet
ing”hesay
sunbot
her
ed.
“Andtheleastyoucoul
dhavedonewastoletme
knowandpost pone,
goodby
emrNzimandeplease
bekindtoaskHRt oemailmethecont
ract
”Isay.
Ihat
epeopl
eswhodon’
trespectot
herpeopl
est
ime,
Icl
oset
hedoorbehi
ndmeandmakemyout
.
Il
eavet
hebuil
dingandwal
kacr
osst
her
oadt
oa
near
bycof
feeshop.
Ifeel
drai
nedandt
ir
edIhonestl
ythoughtcomi
ng
herewoul
dtakemymindoffthi
ngsbutIwaswrong.
Igrabaseatandordermy
sel
fsomedecadent
chocol
atecakewit
hacupofrooi
bos.
Thewai
terbr
ingsmyor
derj
usti
ntheni
ckoft
ime.
Ilookatthecr
eamyrichcakeandpi
ckupt
hef
ork
takingahugepiecei
nmymout h.
Mytast
ebudscomeal
i
veandt
hisemot
ional
wav
e
hi
tsme.
Mychestheavesandt
earsj
ustf
lowItr
yhol
ding
mysel
fbutevery
thi
ngcomesbacktome.
Ihav
ecomet
ofart
oloseal
lthepeopl
ethatIl
ove.
Ihav
ecomet
ofart
olosePhakat
hway
oli
ket
his.
Ahandkerchi
efiswavedbefor
emeIr
aisemyheada
seeShakastandingi
nfr
ontofme.
“
Takei
t”hesay
s.
It
aket
hehandker
chi
efandwi
pemyf
lowi
ngt
ear
s.
Idon’
tknowwher
ethi
scomesf
rom butIj
ustwant
tocry
.
Het
akesaseatandheav
il
ysi
ghs.
“
Iam sor
ryIdi
dn’
tmeant
omakey
ouwai
t”hesay
s.
Inodmyheadev
ent
hought
hisi
sn’
tabouthi
m.
Helooksatwiththi
ssoftgazet
hatl
eav
esme
l
ongingforNqubeko’
slook.
Ir
eal
l
ymi sshi
mthi
nki
ngabouthi
m makememor
e
emot
ional
.
“
Shoul
dIgety
ouhome”heasks.
Ishakemyheadandt
akeanot
herbit
eatt
hecake
andwipemytear
sontheot
herhand.
“
Isev
ery
thi
ngokay
”heasks.
Ishakemyheadandt
akeanot
herbi
teatt
he
chocol
atecake.
Her
eachesacr
osst
het
abl
eandhol
dsmyhand.
“
Ever
ythi
ngi
sgoi
ngt
obeokay
”hesay
s.
“
Youdon’
tknowt
hat
”Isay
.
Hegi
vesmeasi
desmi
l
eandl
ooksi
ntomyey
es.
“
Trustmeev
ery
thi
ngi
sgoi
ngt
obeokay
”hesay
s.
“
Thanky
ou”Isay
.
“Nowwipethosetear
sawayy
ouar
etoobeaut
if
ult
o
becry
ing”hesays.
Iwi
pemytearsandbr
eat
heheav
il
ytaki
nganot
her
bi
teofmycake.
Shakawaveshi
shandi
ntheai
randt
hewai
ter
comesrunni
ng.
“Canwehav eanot
hersl
i
ceofy
ourchocol
atecake
please”hesay
s.
“
Yessi
rcomi
ngr
ightup”t
hey
oungmansay
s
wal
ki
ngaway
.
Heleansbackonthechai
randl
ooksatmeasI
gobbl
eupt hel
astpi
ece.

Mydriv
eri
soneper
sonwhoisn’
ttal
kat
iveunl
i
ke
Bhut
iMandl
akhewhowoul
danswermyquestions
t
hisonehasn’
tanswer
edanyofmymanyquest
ions.
Wear ebur
yingMandlakhet
hisweekendandbaba
promisedt
ot akecar
eofthefuner
alcostaswel
lhi
s
famil
y.
IendedupgoingbacktoShaka’
sof
ficet
osignt
he
contr
actandIwasgivenaweektorepor
ttowor
k.
Myheartgr
owsheavi
erwhenIseeanunf
ami
l
iarcar
st
andi
ngoutsi
dethegat
e.
Thecardr
ivesi
nandpar
ksi
nthedri
vewayIst
ep
outoft
hecarandmakemywayinsi
det
hehouse.
“
Phet
hil
e”al
oudscr
eam comesf
rom t
hehouse.
Iwalki
nsideandfi
ndthet
wopol
i
ceof
fi
cer
sthat
wereheretheot
herni
ght.
“Nonotmychi
l
d”Nqubeko’
smot
hersay
sshaki
ng
herhead.
“
Wewouldl
ikeoneofyoutocomewithustoi
dent
if
y
t
hebody
”oneofthepol
iceof
ficer
ssays.
“Bay
ede”myf
athersay
swhenheseesmel
eani
ng
agai
nstt
hewal
l.
Myheadi
sspinni
ngnothi
ngismakingsensewhy
ar
etheyt
alki
ngaboutadeadbody
.
“
Iwi
l
lgo”Net
haof
fer
s.
“Bayedesi
sipl
easegowi t
hhimy ouknowPhet
hil
e
bettert
hananyone,
Iknowthat
’snotmydaught
er
pleasemychil
dgo”Nqubeko’smothersay
s.
Inodmyheadandf
oll
owNet
hat
othecart
hepol
i
ce
off
icer
sfol
l
owbehi
ndus.
Wedriv
etot
hemor
gueandar
eledi
nsi
det
ovi
ewt
he
body
.
Theymov
ethewhi
tesheetcov
eri
ngherup.
Myheartshat
ter
sint
otwowhenIlookher
,Netha
l
ooseshisbal
ancebutoneoft
hepoli
ceof
ficers
hel
pshi
m.
“
Ist
hisher
”theyask.
“
Yest
hisi
sher
”Isayl
ooki
ngatherbr
uisedpal
eface.
“
Whathappened”Iask.
“
Shewasr
apedt
henst
rangl
edt
odeat
h”t
heysay
.
If
eel
theai
rleav
emybodyPhet
hil
eisgonej
ustl
i
ke
l
i
fehasbeensnat
chedoutofher
.
NethaandIwalkoutandit
’sseemslikemybr
other
couldn’
twai
ttogetoutoft
hatplace.
Heleansagai
nstt
hecarr
eadyt
opassoutbut
qui
cklycol
l
ectshi
msel
f.
“
Net
ha”Isay
.
Hel
ooksatmewi t
hey
esf
il
ledwi
tht
ear
sandget
sin
t
hedri
ver
’sseat
.
Igeti
tonmysideandwatchashestruggl
est
oput
thekeyi
nthei
gnit
ionduetohi
sshakyhands.
Hestepsoutofthecarandsl
amst
hedoorsl
i
ding
downtotheground.
Ist
epoutandwal
kov
ert
ohi
ssi
de.
“
She’
sgoneBay
ede”hesay
sbr
eaki
ngdown.
Iputahandov
ermymout
handcr
y.
“
She’sgonet
heyki
l
ledher
”hesay
sbur
yinghi
shead
i
nhishands.
“
Iam sosor
ry”Isay
.
“Il
ovedherYey
esomuchandnowshe’
sgone”he
says.
Myphoner
ingsi
nsidethecar
,Isl
owl
ystandupand
wal
kovert
oothersideoft
hecarandgetthephone.
Ianswert
hephonewi
thoutl
ooki
ngandsni
ff
“
Yey
e”Ibol
tint
oacr
y.
“
Babashe’
sgonet
heyki
l
ledher
”Isay
.
“
Sthandwasam whoi
sgone”Il
ookt
hephoneand
wi
pemyt ear
smakingmyeyesi
ghtmor
eclear
.
“
Mangubane”hesay
s.
“
Nqubeko”Isay
.
“
It
’smemyl
ovewhoki
l
ledwho”heasks.
Icr
yevenhar
derhe’
sawakeandhissi
steris
gone,
howdoItel
lhi
mthathi
sli
tt
lesi
sterisgone.
“
Bay
ede”hesay
.
“
CanIcal
lyouback”Isayqui
ckl
y.
Iendt
hecall
befor
eher espondsandwal
kov
ert
o
mybrot
herandset
tledownnexttohim.
“
Iam sor
ryNet
ha”Isay
.
Herest
shisheadonmyshoul
derandpai
nful
l
y
br
eaksdown.

.
..
..
..
.
Sponsor
ed
Bay
ede’
skeeper

#46

IhaveneverseenNethali
ket
hisbutt
henagai
nI
haveneverexper
iencedhi
mlosesomeonehelov
ed.
Hisbrokenandnoamountofcomf ort
inghi
m hel
ps,
I
feell
ikethere’smoret
owhatwasgoingonbetween
him andPhet hil
eandIdon’
twantt
opushbyaski
ng
him questi
ons.
Wecamebacklatelastni
ghtt
hendr
ovet
oMr
s
Phakat
hway
o’shouse.
Shewant
edt
obehomeandseeherdaught
ers
bedr
oom.
Shecriedallni
ghtaski
ngGodtobr
ingbackherbaby
gi
rlIam gladthatmamaisher
eandshecomf or
ted
herall
night.
Idon’
tknowwhoi sdoingt
hisandwhattheywil
l
gainbyhurt
ingus.Thi
sper
sonisfacel
essandthey
arecomingforusonebyoneandseeingthatt
hey
hav
eal
readyst
art
edIdon’
tseet
hem st
oppi
ng.
Thegir
lsandImov edt
hemat t
ressandprepar
edt
he
bedr
oom foral
lthemourner
swhoar etocome.
Alt
houghIsawherbodyi
tsti
llf
eel
ssounrealthat
she’
sgone,
Ihav
elostasi
sterandabestf
riend.
Phethi
l
ewasgoingtoanamazingauntandnowmy
babywill
nev
ergett
oexper
ienceherbeaut
if
ulsoul
.
Thinki
ngaboutwhatshewentthr
oughsendschil
ls
drownmyspineithurt
sknowingthatshef
oughtand
cr
iedbutsti
ll
theytookherl
i
feli
keitwasnothi
ng.
Thehouseisheav
il
yguar
dedbutev
ensothatwon’
t
bri
ngKhethi
weback,
Ihav
esomanyquest
ions
runni
ngthr
oughmyhead.
Whatwasthemeeti
ngabout
?whowasshe
meeti
ng?wher
eandwhywasshemeeti
ngthat
per
son.
Apartofmefeel
slikesheknewt
hepersonshewas
meeti
ngupwith,
Icouldseehowhappyshewas
whenshelef
tthehouse.
“
Youneedt
ogetsomer
estBay
edey
ouhav
ebeen
upal
lni
ght
”Thandosay
s.
“
Weneedt omakesurethatwhenNqubeko’
s
r
elat
ivescomet
her
e’senoughfood”Isay
.
“
Bayedeyouarenolongert
hinki
ngabouty
oubut
t
hatbabyinsi
deyou”shesays.
“
West i
llneedtocleantheot
herbedroomsand
makesur eever
ythi
ngisinpl
ace,
Idon’twant
Nqubeko’smotherworryi
ngaboutanythi
ng”Isay
.
“
Bay
ede”shesay
ssnappi
ng.
Ist
opwhatIam doi
ngandl
ookather
.
“
Youarenotdoingthisnotagai
nIwill
notal
l
owy
ou
t
ofal
lbackint
ot hatdar
kplace”shesays
“
Whatdoy
ouwantt
omedoeatandcr
y”Iask.
“
Yest
hat
’swhatIwant
”shesay
s.
“Wel
lIcan’
tcr
ybecauseNqubekoisonhisway
homeandhedoesn’tknowthathi
ssi
steri
sgone,I
won’
tfal
lapar
tbecauseIhavetobet
hereforhi
m.
Ineedtobestr
ongf
orhim becauseIknowthi
swill
breakhi
m downhewil
lfor
everblamehimsel
ffor
Phet
hil
e’
sdeat
h”Isay
.
“
Butsti
ll
youar
ecarr
yingababyandy
oushoul
dtake
i
teasy
”shesays.
“
Iwi
l
l”Isay
.
Shenodsherheadandst
andsup.
“
Iwi
l
lgocheckonMa”shesay
s.
Ihearafewv
oicesout
sideandputont
heket
tl
e
taki
ngoutaf
ewcups.
ThedooropensandNqubekowal
ksi
nfol
l
owedby
myfatherandbr
other
.
Acupsl
i
psoutofmyandshat
ter
s.
Ourey
esmeetandasmi
l
espr
eadsacr
osshi
sli
ps.
HelooksgoodbutIcant
ell
noonehast
oldhi
m
aboutPhet
hil
e.
Hef
rownsseei
ngt
hedoekonmyhead.
“
Yey
e”myf
athersay
s.
Imoveov
erandgi
vehi
m ahugeversi
ncethatni
ght
hebr
okedowninmama’
sarmsIhavebeenwor r
ied
abouthi
m.
Il
ookatmybrot
herandfeel
hispai
nit
’st
oor
awhi
s
ey
estel
lapai
nfulst
ory
.
Hi
sey
esar
eredmeani
nghe’
sbeencr
ying.
Icl
eart
hemessandchuckev
ery
thi
ngi
n
“
Iwil
lmakeyousometea”
.Isaymov
ingoutoft
he
waycl
ear
ingthemessImade.
“
Wazi kahl
eukuthi
angil
iphuzi
iti
ye”(
Youknowv
ery
wel
lthatIdon’
tdri
nktea)Nqubekosays.
Iguessnoonesknowshowt
otel
lhi
mthenews.
“
Net
hal
etsgoseey
ourmot
her
”Babasay
s.
Nqubekomov escl
oserandwr
apshi
sar
msar
ound
meandkisses.
“
Imi
ssedy
ou”hewhi
sper
sinmyear
.
“
Imi
ssedy
out
oost
handwasam”Isaypul
l
ingaway
.
“
Youdon’
tlookhappyt
oseeme”hesay
slooki
ng
i
ntomyeyes.
Ihol
dhi
shandandpul
lhav
inghi
m set
tl
edownona
chai
r.
Hechuckl
esandshakeshi
shead.
“
What
”Iask.
“Ihadthemostbizarredr
eam everIdr
eamtabout
Phethil
egivi
ngmeababyandt urni
ngherbackon
me,shestart
edwalkingawayeventhoughItri
ed
call
ingherback”hesaysrubbi
nghiseyes.
“Ineedtoseemymot hermay
besheknowswhatt
he
dream means”hesay
s.
Ibi
temyl
i
pthi
sist
hehar
destt
hingIhav
eev
erhad
todoi
nmyent
ir
eli
fe.
“Idi
dn’
tknowmecominghomewasabigdeal
seei
ngthatev
ery
onei
shere”hesay
s.
“
Baby
”Isay
.
Hel
ooksatmeandsmi
l
es.
“
MaNgubane”hesay
ssof
tl
y.
“
Uhm somet
hingbadhappened”Isay
.
Henodshi
shead.
“Iknowyourf
athert
oldmeaboutMandlakhe.Iwant
youtoknowthatIwil
lfi
ndwhoeveri
sdoingthist
o
usandtheywil
lpay”hesay
s.
“Phet
hil
eakesekhoemhl
abeni
”(
Phet
hil
eisgone)
.I
say.
Hef
rownsandl
ooksatmesl
i
ght
lyt
il
ti
nghi
shead.
“
Angi
zwa”
hesay
s.
Ihol
dhishandsbuthedr
awst
hem backandr
aises
hi
seyebrows.
“Bayedemusaukungi
nyanyi
sauthi
kwenzekani
”(
Bayededon’
tannoywhati
sgoi
ng)he
asks.
“
Bay
ede”hesnapshi
tt
ingt
heki
tchencount
er.
Ij
umpoutofmychai
randst
andbyt
hef
ri
dge.
“Phethi
lewentmissi
ngafewdaysagoandthey
foundherbody,
shewasrapedandstr
angl
edto
death”Isay
.
Hi
sgi
vesmeabl
ankl
ookandshakeshi
shead.
“
Wozal
a”(
Comeher
e)hesay
s.
Imov
ecl
oserandst
andi
nfr
ontofhi
m.
Hesni
ff
sme.
“
Udaki
weBay
ede”heasks.
Ishakemyheadandjustt
henhi
smot
her
’swai
l
ing
cri
esfi
ll
thehouse.
Hehur
ri
est
othebedr
oom.
Isl
owlyf
oll
owhi
mtot
hebedr
oom andst
andbyt
he
door.
“
Mama”hesay
sbr
eat
hingheav
il
yhi
schestheav
ing.
“
Nqubeko”hi
smot
hersay
scov
eri
ngherf
ace.
Hewal
ksovertot
hematt
ressandkneel
sdownas
hi
smothert
akeshi
mint
oherembrace.
Theroom cl
ear
sandIstaybehi
ndlooki
ngathi
m
breakdowninhi
smother’
sholdl
ikeali
tt
leboy
.
Ithi
nkt
hisi
sthef
ir
stt
imeIhav
ehear
dhi
m cr
ythi
s
bad.
“Ngiyaxol
i
samamabekungamaleuPhethi
l
e
asishiy
e”(Iam sor
rymamaPhet
hil
eshoul
dn’
thav
e
died)hesays.
“
Theyki
ll
edmychildNqubekot
heyt
ookheraway
f
rom me”shesay
s.
Iwi
pemyt
ear
sandswal
l
owhar
d.
Hi
smot
herpul
l
sawayandwi
peshi
stear
s.
“Iwantyoutof
indwhoev
erdi
dthi
stomydaught
er
andkil
lthem.
Makethem payal
loft
hem”shesay
slooki
ngat
Nqubeko.
Iwishshedi
dn’tsaythatknowingNqubekohewi
l
l
notstopunt
ilhekil
l
sev er
ylastoft
hem.
Hest
andsupandwi
peshi
sfaceandcol
l
ect
s
hi
msel
f.
Hebumpsi
ntomeonhi
swayandIr
ushesout
f
oll
owi
nghi
m.
“
Wher
ear
eyougoi
ng”Iask.
“
Toseemysi
ster
”hesay
scol
dly
.
Het
urnsandheadsf
ort
hedoor
.
“
Iam comi
ngwi
thy
ou”Isayr
unni
ngaf
terhi
m.
Hest
art
sthecaroncewear
ebot
hinsi
de
anddr
ivesof
f.
Il
ookathi
m bat
tl
ingwit
hhisemot
ionshedoesn’
t
knowwhattodowithhi
mself
.
Wef inal
lyreachthemorgueaf
terhestr
uggled
fi
ndingthepl ace,
hi
sheadisal
lovert
heplace
understandablyso.
“
Stayi
nthecarBay
ede”hesay
s.
“
No”Isayst
eppi
ngoutoft
hecar
.
Hetakeshugestepswalki
ngint
hismani
sangr
y
andIfearwhathemightdo.
Igr
abhi
shandandhol
dhi
mti
ght
.
Hel
ooksatmebutIt
ight
enmyhol
dov
erhi
shand.
Wemakeourwayinsi
deandar
eledt
owher
ethey
keept
hebodi
es.
Hest
opswal
ki
ngandbr
eat
hesheav
il
y.
“
Youcandot
hisPhakat
hway
o”It
ell
him.
Hewal
ksov
erandIl
etgoofhi
shandashev
iews
Phet
hil
e’
sbody
.
“Weexami nedt
hebodyanditt
urnsoutshewas
pregnant
”themanshowingusthebodysays.
Icl
osemyey
esandhol
dmybel
l
y.
“
Iwi
l
lleav
eyoual
one”t
hemansay
swal
ki
ngout
.
NqubekolooksatPhethi
le’
spalecol
dbodyand
t
earsfal
lfrom hi
sbeauti
fuley
es.
Hebr
ushesherhai
randsni
ff
s.
“
Iam sor
rynganekamama”hesay
s.
“
Ishoul
dhav
ebeenher
etopr
otecty
ouandIwasn’
t.
Iam sor
ryt
humbukamama”hesay
s.
Het
akesdeepbr
eat
hesandcl
oseshi
sey
es
“
Wongikhonzel
akoPhakat
hway
o”hesay
scl
osi
ng
t
hesheet.
Hehol
dsmyhandaswemakeourwayoutheadi
ng
t
othecar
.
Hedr
ivest
ohi
spl
acei
nst
eadi
sofhi
smot
her
’s.
Hepar
ksi
nthedr
ivewayandmakeshi
swayt
othe
backandcomesbackt
oopent
hedoor
.
Hewal
ksinsi
deandIwat
chashemakeshi
swayt
o
t
heminibar
.
Hedr
inksf
rom t
hebot
tl
eandst
opsput
ti
ngi
tdown.
“ShewaspregnantBay
ede,
thosebastar
dsrapedand
kil
ledapr
egnantwoman”hesaysthrowingthe
bottl
etot
hewal l
.
Thel
i
quorspl
atsal
lov
erandt
hebot
tl
eshat
ter
s.
Itr
ymov i
ngcl
osert
ohi
m buther
aiseshi
shandand
shakeshi
shead.
“
NotnowBay
ede”hesay
s.
“
Youwi
l
lfi
ndmei
nthebedr
oom”Isay
.
Imakemywayt othebedr
oom andt
akeof
fmy
cl
othesst
eppi
ngintot
heshower.
It
urnonthehotwaterandshutmyey
esasthe
waterhi
tsmybodyGodknowsIam ti
redandali
tt
le
sl
eepiswhatIneedri
ghtnow.
Ialmostgetaf
ri
ghtwhenIf
eel
hiscol
dhandswr
ap
aroundmebuteaseint
ohi
shol
d.
Hi
shandsl
eav
et r
acesmov
ingupmybodyand
t
ouchi
ngmybreast
.
Icl
osemyeyesandlaymyheadbackwhenhestar
ts
massagi
ngmybreast,
heki
ssesmyneckandt
urns
mearoundl
i
fti
ngmeup.
Idon’tknowwher eheget
st hest
rengthfr
om seei
ng
thathejustgotbackfr
om thehospit
al.
Hest
epsoutoft
heshowerwi
thmest
il
li
nhi
sar
ms.
Andlaysmeonthebedheroughlydev
our
smyl
i
ps
andbit
esmylowert
ohissati
sfacti
on.
Iwi
ncewhenhi
stwi
stsmyni
ppl
es.
He’
salr
eadyhar
dandbyt
hef
eel
oft
hingshekeeps
gr
owingmore.
Helet
sgoofmyoneni
ppl
eandmov
eshi
shand
downmypri
vat
e.
Hepusheshi
sfi
ngeri
nandmov
esi
tar
oundt
il
lIam
abi
twet.
Hesli
desi
toutandposit
ionshi
msel
fpushi
nghi
s
har
dcorki
nsi
demest ret
chingme.
Iwinceatt
hepai
nbuthepusheshimselfdeepin,
I
tr
ymov i
nguptoeasethepai
nbuthist
ightgrip
holdsmedownhisfi
ngersdi
ggi
ngatmyf lesh.
HelooksatmeandforamomentNqubekoisgone
he’
snotther
ehi
seyesarecol
dandempty.
Hehammersi
nsidemeandgrowl
s,
Ieasei
ntohi
s
hol
dsoIwon’
tfeelmuchpai
n.
Hest
art
sthr
ust
ingi
nandoutf
ull
ypushi
nghi
msel
f
i
n.
Ifeelhi
m hi
twall
sheshouldn’
tandtheteari
ngdown
thereasheful
l
ythrust
sinandstrokesdeepl
y.
“
Nqubeko”Isayt
ryi
ngt
omov
emywai
st.
Buthehol
dsmedownandf*
cksmehar
ddespi
temy
at
temptsofmov
ingaway
.
Hemoveshi
shandsandpl
acest
hem onmyneck
pr
essi
nghar
d.
If
eel
tear
srundownf
rom t
hecor
nerofmyey
es.
Hepul
l
soutandIgaspf
orai
r.
Het
urnsmear
oundhav
ingmekneel
andpushesmy
chestdown.
Hesl
amsinsi
demehardandgrabsmywai
stgoi
ng
i
nandoutmerci
l
essl
ygr
abingmyhair
.
Iwai
tforthepleasuretoki
cki
nbutfeel
uni
maginablepainthathasmescr
eamingi
nagony
.
Hedoesn’
tst
opgoi
ngi
nandoutdespi
temet
ryi
ng
t
omov ehi
shands.
Ibit
emyli
pandl ethi
m hammeri
nsidemeforthe
fi
rstti
meeversexist
hemostpai
nfulthi
ngev
er.
Hepul
l
soutandt
urnsmear
oundspr
eadi
ngmyl
egs.
Il
ooki
ntohi
sey
esast
heyf
il
lupwi
tht
ear
s.
Hetakesmylegsandpl
acest
hem onhi
sshoul
ders
andrest
shi
shandsonmyt hi
ghssl
amminginhar
d.
Iwanthi
mtost
opal
readybutIknowhewon’
t.

.
..
..
..
..
..
.
Bay
ede’
skeeper

#47

I
t’
sbeenaf ewdaysandIhavebeensleepi
ngat
Nqubeko’
shouse,
hehasbeenspendingmosthi
s
daysoutandcomi
nghomel ateatni
ghttosexme
ti
l
lmylegsshakeandIam al
lout.
Iam t
ir
edal
lIneedi
ssl
eepandt
ogett
hrought
oday
.
Yest
erdayIt
ookt
heti
meandwenttot
hedoctorfor
acheckupandIwast
oldt
oeaseuponthesex.
Ihavebeenhav
ingabdomi
nal
pai
nduet
oal
lthe
roughsex.
Ilookatmy sel
finthemir
roranddeepl
ysightodayi
s
PhethilefuneralandIam pushing
through,emot i
onall
yIam gutt
edandphysi
cal
l
yIam
k*kex hausted.
Thisweekhasbeenroughonal
lofusmor
e
especi
all
yNqubekoandhismot
her.
Phakat
hway
oi sshut
ti
ngmeoutandIdon’
tknow
howtogett
hroughtohim.
Hewalksinlookinghandsomeinhi
sblacksui
tI
walkovert
ohim andf i
xhiscol
l
arbrushi
ngmy
handsdownhi schest.
Hewrapshishandsar
oundmywai
standpul
l
sme
cl
oseleani
ngforaki
ss.
Hedeepenst
heki
ssandsneakshi
shandsupmy
t
highs.
“
Nqubekonott
oday
”Isay
.
Nev
erdi
dIt
hinkIwoul
dev
erut
tert
hesewor
ds.
“
Kancanenj
eBay
ede”(
Justal
i
ttl
e)hesay
s.
“
Idon’
tfeel
li
kei
tNqubekoandIam t
ir
ed”Isay
.
Hi
sbeenusingsext
ocopeandIam t
ir
edofbei
ngat
t
herecei
vi
ngend.
Ipushhi
m of
fandt
urnt
ofacet
hemi
rr
or.
Hemovescloserandwr
apshi
sar
msar
oundmy
wai
stki
ssi
ngmyneck.
“
Ipr
omi
seIwi
l
lbegent
le”hesay
ssof
tl
y.
It
urnar
oundandl
ookathi
m.
“Iam ti
redPhakathwayoIhav
en’
thadanygoodr est
allweek,Iam notasexmachi
neNqubekoy oucan’
t
usemeasy oursexmachineIam t
ir
ed”Isnap.
Henodshi
sheadandst
epsaway
.
“
Youwi
l
lfi
ndmei
nthecar
”Isaywal
ki
ngout
.
Wedriv
einsi
l
enceashemakest
hef
ir
stst
opatmy
f
ather
s.
Mamaaskedmet
obr
inghert
hosebi
gdi
shesof
her
s.
Hest
aysi
nthecarwhi
l
eImakemywayi
nsi
de.
Iwal
kuptomybedr
oom andhearsomesof
tmusi
c
pl
ayi
ng.
Iwalkovert
oNet
ha’
sroom andf
indhi
m ont
hef
loor
dri
nking.
There’
sapi
eceofpapernextt
ohi
m hedoesn’
tlook
readyf
ort
hefuner
al.
“
Bhut
i”Isay
.
Her
aiseshi
sheadandwi
peshi
stear
s.
“Bhuti
y ouar
ehur
ti
ngmeIhat
eseei
ngy
oul
i
ket
his”
Itel
lhim.
“
Whyar
en’
tyour
eady
”Iask.
Heshakeshi
shead.
“
Youcant
alkt
omeIwon’
ttel
lany
one”Isay
.
“Ican’
tsaygoodbyeBay
edeIcan’
t”hesay
swi
ping
anothert
earthatf
all
sof
f.
“
Ifyoudon’
tsaygoodby
eyouwi
l
lal
way
sregr
eti
t”I
t
ell
him.
“
Idon’
tknowhowt
odo”hesay
s.
Ipi
ckupt
hepapernextt
ohi
m andr
eadi
t.

‘
Somahhashi

Icouldhavecal
ledort ol
dyouthi
sinpersonbutI
fi
guredIshoul
dj ustwrit
eyoualet
tersomethi
ngyou
cankeepclosetoy ourchest
.
Fort
hef
ir
stt
imeev
erIknowhowi
tfeel
sli
ket
o
exper
ienceal
ovesogreatandpowerful
,y
ouarethe
manIpr ay
edf
orNethaandIam luckytohav
ey oui
n
mylif
e.
Il
ovey
ouSomahhashi andIam happyt
olety
ou
knowt
hatIam car
ryi
ngy ourchi
l
d.
Youaregoi
ngtobeaf atherNet
haandIam r
eadyt
o
tel
lthewor
ldaboutus.
Mybrot
herwil
lbeangrybuthewil
lseethelov
ewe
hav
eforeachotherandhewil
lacceptus.
Ngi
yakut
handaSomahhashi
,

It
oldt
hel
ett
erandl
ookathi
m.

“
Shewascarr
yingmychi
ldBayedeIwasgoi
ngt
obe
afat
her
”hesaysgr
oani
nginpain.
Iknewsomet
hingwasgoi
ngonbutt
his.
“Shesnuckoutt
hatdaytoseemebutIcancel
edon
herandnowshe’sgone”hesay
s.
“
Shewoul
dst
il
lbeal
i
vei
fIdi
dn’
tcancel
”hesay
s.
“
It
’shur
tsBay
edesay
inggoodby
ehur
ts”shesay
s.
“Iam sorr
yIr
eall
yam butnotsayi
nggoodbyewil
l
hurtevenmore,
youwil
lalwayshavethi
sopen
woundwhenev eryout
hinkofherandthebaby
”Isay
.
“Pl
easestandupandgetr
eadyyoulovedherand
shelov
edy ouit
sonl
yfai
ryousayyourfi
nal
goodbyes”Isay
.
Hesl
owl
yst
andsupandset
tl
esont
hebed.
“Iknowithur
tsandIcan’
tpromisei
twil
lgetbet
ter
becausethetr
uthi
sitdoesn’
t,
youonl
ylear
ntoli
ve
withthepai
n”Isay
.
“
Pleasedon’
ttel
lany
one”hesaysof
tl
y.
“Iwon’
ttel
lany
onet
hisi
syoursecr
ett
okeep”It
ell
him.
Henodshi
shead.
Ist
andupandt
akeouthi
ssui
tandl
ayi
tont
hebed.
“
Nqubekoi
sher
eyouwi
l
lfi
ndusi
nthecar
”Isay
.
“
Yey
e”hesay
s.
It
urnandl
ookathi
m.
“
Thanky
ou”hesay
s.
Inodmyheadandst
epi
ntomybedr
oom gr
abbi
ng
thescan.
It
akethedi
shesandwal
koutdothecarandf
ind
Nqubekol
eani
ngagai
nstt
hecarsmoking.
Thi
smanishandsomeandGodknowsIl
ovehi
m
moret
hananyt
hing.
Het
akest
hedi
shesandput
sthem i
nthecar
.
“
Canwewai
tforNet
hahe’
scomi
ngwi
thus”Isay
.
Hepul
l
smecl
oseandl
ooksi
ntomyey
es.
“
Iam sor
ryMaNgubane”hesay
s.
Tear
sfi
l
lmyey
esandIr
ubt
hem away
.
“Idon’
tknowwhatcameov
ermeIam t
rul
ysor
ry”he
says.
Ireachinsi
demybagandt akeoutt
hebabyscanhe
hasn’tbeenthi
sgent
lesi
nceheheardaboutPhet
hil
e.
“Ihavebeenmeaningtotel
lyoual
lweekbut
every
thinghasbeenhappeni
ngsofastandy
ou
haven’thadti
meforme”Isayhandi
nghimthescan.
“
Yinganel
e”(
Ist
hisababy
”heasks.
Inodmyhead.
“
Ngi
khul
elweNqubeko”Isay
.
Hebl
i
nksandf
li
nches
It
akehi
shandandpl
acei
tov
ermyst
omach.
“
Iam car
ryi
ngy
ourchi
l
dPhakat
hway
o”Isay
.
Herubshiseyesandclear
shist
hroatget
ti
ng
emoti
onaltheguil
tinhi
seyesmakesmewi shI
hadn’
ttol
dhim now.
“Youdidn’
thurtt
hebabyIwentforacheckupand
thedoctorsai
dIam okaybutIshoul
dlayof
fthe
sex”Isay.
Hecl
encheshi
sjawsswal
l
owi
ngIl
eancl
oseand
ki
sshi
sli
ps.
“
Baf
o”Net
hasay
s.
Ipul
lawayandl
ookatmybrot
herhesti
ll
looksl
i
ke
hel
lbuthe’
sal
ldr
essedupandreadyt
ogo.
Theyshar
eahugandst
epi
nsi
det
hecarNaubeko
dri
vi
ngoff
.
Wegettot
hehouseandt
heser
vicei
saboutt
o
begi
n.
I
t’
sasmal lf
uneralfr
iendsandfami
l
yonlyIl
ookat
Nqubeko’
smot herbeinghel
pedtot
hetent
.
Shehasbeencr
yingsi
nceshef
oundoutt
henews.
Everyonei
sseat
edwhi
l
ethepast
orr
eadsf
rom t
he
holybook.
Nqubekol
ooksatmeandst
andsupf
rom hi
schai
r.
Hewalksovert
omeandt
akesmyhandwal
ki
ng
backt
ohischai
r.
“Ineedyounowmoret
haneverMaNgubane”he
saysti
ghteni
nghi
shol
dovermyhand.
Hemov
esmyhandt
ohi
smout
handki
ssesi
t.
“
Ilov
eyou”hesay
s.
“
Ilov
eyout
ooPhakat
hway
o”Isay
.

Thechurchchoi
rstar
tsasongandIpl
acemyhand
overNqubeko’
sback.
‘
Nkosi
ngi
l
imel
e,Ngi
phol
i
se(
Lor
dIam hur
t,heal
me)
Ngi
phol
i
se,
Ngi
phol
i
se(
Heal
me,
heal
me)
Ngi
phol
i
sel
amanxeba(
Heal
mywounds)
Babangidi
ngawen’
uzongphol
i
sa(
Fat
herIneedYou
toheal
me)
Ohngil
imeleenhli
ziy
weni
(Myhear
tis
wounded/broken)
Ngi
phol
i
sel
amanxeba(
Heal
mywounds)
Ubuhl
unguobungaka,
ngi
phol
i
se(
I’
minsomuch
pai
n,heal
me)
Ngi
phol
ise,
ngi
pholi
sel
amanxeba(
Heal
me,
heal
me,
Healmywounds)
Nomakubuhl
ungunkosi
yami
(Ev
eni
fithur
ts,
my
Lor
d)
Inhl
i
ziyoyam’i
yaqaqamba(
Myhear
taches
constant
ly)
Ngi
ph’
isi
bindi
Baba(
wam’
)(Gi
vemest
rengt
hfat
her
)
Ukuthing’
kwazi
ukut
het
hel
ela(
SoIcanbeabl
eto
for
give)’

Al
oudsobf
rom Naubeko’
smot
herer
upt
s.
“
Ohkodwankosi ngenganey
am’yodwavo
yent
ombazane”(
Ohl ordmyonl
ygir
lchi
l
d)shesay
s
wail
i
ngevenmore.
Nqubekost
andsupandwal
ksov
ert
ocomf
orther
.
Thescenei
shear
tbr
eaki
ngwhat
’shappeni
ngi
s
unbear
abl
e.

.
..
..
..
..
.
Sponsor
edbyAki
l
ahNomahTom
Bay
ede’
skeeper

#48

It
’sbeenaweeksinceweburi
edPhethi
lethepainis
sti
ll
freshandwhathur
tsthemosti
sthatmybr other
can’
tgriev
eopenl
yforthewomanheloved.
Hecal
ledmei nthemiddleofni
ghtcr
y i
ng,hecouldn’
t
sl
eepthi
nkingaboutt
hepainandtort
urePhet hi
le
wentt
hroughbeforet
akingherl
astbreath.
Theyhadgoneforasonarscantheot
herdayandhe
coul
dhearthebaby’
sheart
beat.
Ist
ayedupall
nightt
alki
ngt
ohim beggi
nghi
mto
seesomeoneandhesaidhewoul
d.
Ipromi
sedhi
mthatIwouldbether
eev
eryst
epof
thewayandImeantev
eryword.
Wit
haki l
l
eront
hel
ooseIhadtorentoutmypl
ace
andful
l
ymov ei
nwi
ththepar
ents.
ButIhav
ebeenspendi
ngmostofmyt
imewi
th
Nqubeko.
Thingsbetweenushaven’
tbeenokay,
i
tfeel
sli
kewe
aredri
ft
ingaparti
nst
eadofbeingcl
oser.
Hehasn’
ttouchedmesi
nceItoldhi
m aboutt
he
babyl
etal
onelookmeintheeye.
Weonlycuddl
eandf
all
asl
eepwaki
ngupl
i
ke
st
ranger
s.
Ist
epoutoftheshowerandl
eanagainstt
hedoor
l
ookingathi
m shi
rt
lessf
aci
ngthewindow.
Hi
swhol
ebodyi
sjustbeaut
if
ulawor
kofar
t.
Iwal
kovertohi
m andwrapmyarmsar
oundhi
s
wai
standrestmyheadonhi
sback.
Hegent
lyt
urnsandl
ooksatmel
eani
ngf
oraki
ss.
Ideepentheki
ssandholdhi
sneckbuthepul
l
saway
andholdsmyhandskissi
ngthem.
“
Nqubeko”Isay
.
“
Ineedt
oshowerorwear
egoi
ngt
obel
ate”hesay
s.
“
Thedoct
orwon’
tmi
nd”Isaypul
l
inghi
shand.
Imi
sshi
m bei
ngi
nsi
demesobad.
Ipushhi
m onthebedandgetont
opofhi
m ki
ssi
ng
hi
m whil
egri
ndingmysel
fonhim.
“
Idon’
twantt
ohur
tyou”hesay
ssof
tl
y.
He’
sbeensay
ingt
hisal
lweekl
ongandIam t
ir
edof
t
hesong.
“Youwon’thur
tme”Isaysneaki
ngmyhandi
nsi
de
hispant
s.
Hecomesal
i
vej
ustbymehol
dinghi
m andcl
oses
hi
seyes.
Ipul
ldownhi
spant
sandf
reehi
shar
dcor
k.
Il
ookatt
heshi
nyheadandpoppedv
einsandbi
te
myli
p.
Imassagehi
minmyhandsandl
ooki
ntohi
sey
esas
hebecomesvul
ner
abl
e.
Imoveupandslowlyl
owermysel
fdownhi
shar
d
shaf
tasi
tstr
etchesmefi
ll
ingmeup.
Hegr
absmywai
standIst
artmov
ingsl
owl
yci
rcl
i
ng
mywaist
.
Itdoesn’
ttakelongbuthet
urnsandget
sont
op
slowlyst
rokingme.
Icl
osemyey
eswhenhi
shandsl
eav
etr
acesonmy
body.
ThemomentissosweetIf
eelt
earsnearerit
’sbeen
l
ongsinceheki
ssedmethi
ssoft
lyandlovedhim
thi
ski
ndly.
Imeethi
m hal
fwaywi
theachgent
lest
roket
hathe
gi
vesme.
Ispr
eadmylegswi
dewhenhepl
aceshi
sthumbon
myclitr
ubbi
ngoni
t.
Wit
hhist
humbonmyclitandd*
ckdeepinsi
demeI
f
ail
tohol
dmysel
fandsoftl
ymournhi
sname.
“Idon’
tdeser
vey
ouBay
ede”hesay
slooki
ngi
ntomy
eyes.
“Wearenotper
fectNqubekobutIl
ovey
ouandIam
notgi
vi
ngupony ouorus”Isay.
Heki
ssesmyf
oreheadt
henmyl
i
ps.
“
Ilov
ey ousomuchMaNgubaneandIwantt
ospend
t
herestofmyli
fewi
thy
ou”hesays.
“Iwasn’
tther
et hef
ir
stti
mebutIpromi
seIwil
lbe
hereti
ll
theveryend”hesay
smov i
nghi
swaist.
“Thanky
ouBayedef orcarryi
ngmychi
ldf
ort
he
secondt
ime,
thankyouf orlovi
ngmeMaNgubane
evenatmyworstthanky ou”hesay
s.
Hepull
southi
scorkandrubshi
mselfagai
nstmy
wethol
eandpushesitupmycli
tsl
i
dingitbacki
n
ki
ssi
ngme.

Wespentt
hemor
ningi
nbedmaki
ngsweetl
ove.
Ididn’
twanttoleav
ethehousebutwehadt
oo
seeingthathehadalr
eadycal
l
edandmadean
appoint
ment .
Wegottothedoct
or’
sandIwasgi
vensome
vi
tami
nsandwedidasonarscanj
ustf
orNqubeko
t
oseehisbaby.
Thedoctorwalkedusthroughhavi
ngint
ercour
se
whil
epregnantandhowcr uci
ali
tisformenotto
st
ressandkeepi teasy
.
Wear
enowdr
ivi
ngbackt
othehousehi
sonehand
onmyt
highbr
ushi
ngme.
Heparkst
hecari
nthedr
ivewayandst
epsout
maki
nghiswaytoi
nsi
dethehouse.
Ishakemyheadandgr
abmybagst
eppi
ngout
.
Heswoopsmeupandwal
kswi
thmeheadi
ngi
nsi
de
t
hehouse.
Hepl
acesmei
ntheki
tchencount
erandsmi
l
es.
Ihaven’
tseenthi
ssmi
lei
ndaysandinthatdoct
or’
s
room hesmil
edandnowhe’
ssmili
ngtoo.
Hewasheshishandsandwipesthem cleanget
ti
ng
t
hebreadandafewspreadsfrom t
hef r
idge.
“
Ipr
omi
seIwi
l
ldobet
ter
”hesay
slooki
ngatme.
He’snott
herey
etbuthe’str
yingi
tsal
sohar
d
knowingt
hathi
smot heri
sgoingawaymovi
ngi
n
wit
hhersist
erf
orthetimebeing.
“
CanIasksomet
hing”hesay
s.
Inodmyheadr
eachi
ngf
ort
heVi
enna.
“
Canyounott
akethejobpl
easenotwhent
hingsare
l
i
kethi
s,
IknowIam aski
ngfort
oomuchbutplease
don’
ttakethej
obIcan’
tpr
otecty
ouwhenyouare
outt
here”hesaysmovi
ngandstandi
ngi
nbetween
mylegs.
Myfat
heraskedmet hesamet hingIguessi
t’
s
somet
hingtheydi
scussedtogether.
“
Isi
gnedt
hecont
ractNqubeko”Isay
.
“Iknowbutyoursafet
ymeansmor eandwithy
ou
carry
ingmysonwhoev erisdoi
ngthi
swill
useyout
o
gettome,Ican’
tlett
hathappen”hesay
s.
If
rownupont
hewor
dsonbecauseIam hopi
ngf
ora
gi
rl
.
“
Finepl
usIam emoti
onal
l
yti
redt
obeput
ti
ngal
lmy
f
ocusonwork”Isay
.
Hef
aint
lysmi
l
esandmov
esbutIpul
lhi
m back.
“
Ilov
eyoubabakhe”Isay
.
Hesmi
l
eswi
de.
“
Ilov
eyoumor
emamakhe”hesay
s.
Igl
adwedidthi
sandhopef
ull
ythi
ngswi
l
lgetbet
ter
bet
weenus.
Bay
ede’
skeeper

#49

Shaka

Il
ookatBayede’
sCvandImustsayit
’si
mpr
essi
ve
she’
syoungbutsheknowsherwor
k.
Itooksometi
met odi
guponherandfoundoutthat
shestart
edworki
ngatSpect
orwaybef
oresheleft
schoolmeani
ngthemanwasgroomingheri
naway .
Il
ookatt
het
imeandsheshoul
dhav
ebeenher
eby
now.
Todayi
sherfi
rstdayatworkandIam l
ooki
ng
for
wardtohav
ingheraroundtheof
fi
ce.
She’
sbeaut
yandbrainsi
noneandmay
bet
hat
’swhy
Phakat
hwayof
ell
inlovewit
hher
.
Iqui
ckl
yclosethef
il
ewhenaknockcomest
hrough
andthedooropens
Bay
edewal
ki
ngi
n.
Sheclosesthedoortur
ningt
ofaceme,shei
snot
dressedforwor
kbutIpushthethr
oughtofhernot
taki
ngthejobtothebackofmyhead.
Herdressi
stightbeaut
iful
l
yhuggingherthi
ckbody
mydicktwi
tchesthinki
ngabouthernaked.
“
MrNzi
mande”shesay
ssmi
l
ing.
Il
ookatherpear
lywhi
tet
eet
handswal
l
owhar
d.
“
Pleasesi
tdown”Isay
.
Sheset
tl
esdownst
il
lsmi
l
ing.
“Idon’tknowhowtosaythi
ssoIwi l
lstar
tatthe
beggingIam sor
rysi
rbutIcan’
ttakethejob”she
sayssweet l
y.
Icl
earmyt
hroatandt
ight
enmyf
istundert
het
abl
e.
“Butyouwerekeentost
artandyousi
gneda
contr
actofemployment
”Isay.
“IknowandIalsoremembersay
ingnot
hingwoul
d
getinthewaybutatthemomentmyfamilyi
sgoi
ng
throughadi
ff
icul
ttime.
Iam sor
rytodropy
ouwit
houtevenst
art
ingwor
kbut
myfamilyneedsmenowmorethanever
”shesays.
Il
ookathersmal
lmout
handwi
shIcoul
dhav
emy
cor
kinther
e.
“Thankyoufortheopportuni
tyandforbel
iev
ingI
coulddothejob,Ihopet
hatthiswon’tl
eav
eabi tt
er
tast
einyourmout hshouldwecrosspathsagain”
shesaysstandingup.
Inodmyheadnotwant
ingt
ost
andup.
“Goodby
eMrNzi
mande”shesay
sheadi
ngf
ort
he
door.
Iam r
eadytoexpl
odeseei
ngherhi
psswayfrom
si
detosidethi
swomanisdeadl
ybeaut
if
ul.
Thedoorcl
osesandIundomybel
tunbut
toni
ngmy
pant
sandzippi
ngthem down.
Ishutmyey
espi
ctur
eBay
edenakedandcum r
ight
ther
e.
Ij
erkofft
il
lever
ythi
ngisspil
l
edoutandl
eanmy
headbackbreat
hingheavi
l
y.
Ir
eachf
ort
het
issueandwi
pemy
sel
fcl
eanwi
ping
ev
ent
het
abl
e.
Igetonmyf eetandfi
xmypant sclenchi
ngmyjaws
reachingf
ormyphone, IdialZai
neandclearmy
throatasthoughtofbendingBayedeconsumetothe
pointofgetti
nghardagain.
“
Bossman”hesay
s.
“
Ineedy
out
osendmet
hatv
ideoi
t’
sti
me”Isay
.
“
Alr
ightbossman”hesay
s.
Iwaitt
il
lhesendsthevideoandl
ookatPhet
hil
e
taki
ngherlastbr
eath.
Il
ookatmyf
ather
’sf
ramedpi
ctur
eandf
rown.
“
Iwi
l
lav
engey
oubabat
heywi
l
lpayal
loft
hem”Isay
.
Iopent
hef
il
eandl
ookatBay
edeandsmi
l
e.
Apar tmewant sherbecauseapar
tfr
om her
beautif
ulandinnocencether
eissomethi
ngabout
herthatdrawsmei nbutatthesameti
meIwantto
cri
pplePhakathwayotohisknees.
Iwanthimt
obegforf
orgi
venesswhi
leIst
ri
phim of
ever
ythi
ngt
hathi
shasandwhatbett
erwaythant
o
st
artwit
hhisfamil
yandt
heoneper
sonhel
ovest
he
mostintheworl
d.
.
.

Bay
ede

OnmywaybackIaskedthedr
ivert
opassbythe
housesoIcoul
dcheckupont
heparent
sandNetha.
BabaandNethawer
esai
dtobeoutat
tendi
ngt
o
somebusi
ness.
If
oundmamacooki
ngt
rot
ter
sandIcoul
dn’
thel
p
mysel
f.
Shedi
shedupf
ormeandaddedsomeper
iper
i
Thi
sismyseconddishandforthel
if
eofmeIno
l
ongerwanttogohome,butknowi
ngmeIwi l
lwake
i
nthemiddleoft
henightwanti
ngNqubeko.
“
Iwil
lputsomei
ntheTupper
war
ejusti
ncase”
mamasay s.
“
Thanky
ouma”Isay
.
Shestandsupandl
ooksatmeasIdev
ourt
he
tr
ott
ers.
“
Bay
edear
eyoupr
egnant
”sheasks.
Theper
iper
igoesdownt
hewr
ongpi
peandmyear
s
bur
nasIcough.
“
Cal
m downsisiIam j
ustaski
ng”shesay
shandi
ng
meaglassofwater
.
Igul
pdownt
hewat
erandbr
eat
he.
“Iwasgoi
ngt
otel
lyoumamabutIdi
dn’
tknowhow”
Isay.
Shesmilesandshakesherheadev
ersi
nceIstepped
footi
nthishouset
hiswomanhasbeenkind.
“
Howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng”sheasks.
“
Ifeel
ner
vousbutexci
tedatt
hesamet
ime”Isay
.
“
Youwi l
lmakeagoodmotherBayedeandNqubeko
i
sluckytohav
eyouinhi
sli
fe”shesays.
“
Mamapl easedon’
ttel
lDadj
ustunti
lthi
swhol
e
t
hingdi
esdownandt hi
ngsgetbacktonormal
”Isay
,
“Iwon’
tasl
ongasy
ouwi
l
llookaf
tery
our
sel
f”she
says.
“Andi
fy ouneedany
thi
ngt
ell
meandIwi
l
lbet
her
e”
shesays.
“
Thanky
ouMa”Isay
.
“It
’smypl easur
ewithKeny aaroundthehouseIdon’
t
thinkIwillbeabl
etohandl et
hequi et
nessoncethey
l
eav e,soIam happythatther
e’sanewper son
comi ngandIam goingt obeagr andmother”she
say ssmili
ng.
“Anddon’
twor
ryaboutyourf
atherhewi
llbej
ustas
happywhenhefi
ndsoutthenews”shesays.

Il
eftt
hehousebef
oreBabaandNet
hacameback
andwentbackt
othehouse.
Ipassedbyarest
aur
antandpi
ckedupsome
takeout
swit
hmydayIwon’tbeabl
etocook.
Thecarpar
ksint
hedri
vewaywhi l
eImakeway
i
nsidet
hehousesur
pri
singl
ythewhol
ehousei
sdar
k.
Iputont
hel
i
ght
sandshoutf
orNqubekowhi
l
e
put
ti
ngt
hef
oodont
heki
tchencount
er.
Itakeoutmyphoneandwalktowar
dsthebedr
oom
call
inghi
m,hi
sphoneri
ngsbutgoesunanswer
ed.
Iopenthebedroom doorandt
urnont
hel
i
ght
sto
fi
ndhim si
tt
ingonthefloor
.
Theplaceisthr
ashedandhi
shandsar
ebl
oodi
ed
andshaking.
Ipani
candmoveclosert
ohi
m andgodownmy
kneesl
ooki
ngathi
m.
“
Nqubeko”Isay
.
Hedoesn’
trespond,
hisheadisboweddownandhe
i
sholdi
ngont i
ghttohisphone.
“Phakathway
olookatme”Isaypl
aci
ngmyhandson
hisfacemakinghi
mfaceme.
It
akethephoneawayf
rom hi
m andj
ustt
heni
t
vi
brat
es.
Iswi
pet
hecal
landputt
hephoneonl
oudspeaker
.
“Howdoesitf
eelt
olosesomeoneclosetoyou,
how
doesi
tfeel
toseethem t
aket
heirl
astbreat
heand
str
ugglet
il
lther
eisn’
tanyi
nthei
rbody
”thev
oice
says.
“
Whoar
eyou”Iask.
“
Someonethemannextt
oyourshoul
dn’
thav
e
messedup”hesay
s.
Myheartbeat
sthevoi
cei
snotcl
earbutbol
d
enoughtobehear
d.
“
Sevenyearsagoi
npr
isony
ouki
l
ledaman”t
he
v
oicesays.
Il
ookatNqubekoandswal
l
ow.
“
Whoi
sthi
s”Iask.
ThecallendsandIlookatthephonet
ryi
ngtopress
pl
aybutNqubekot akesthephonebef
oreIcansee
anyt
hing.
Hetakeshugebr
eat
hesandIcant
ell
it’
shar
dfor
hi
m.
“
Nqubekowhat
’sgoi
ngon”Iask.
Hiseyesf
il
lwi
tht
ear
sashi
scl
encheshi
sjaws
t
ightl
y.
“
Iam sor
ry”Isay
.
Hecl
earshist
hroatandwipesmyt
ear
sseei
nghi
m
l
iket
hisbr
eaksmyhear t
.
Iwishhewouldjustbr
eakdownandcr
yhi
m bot
tl
ing
thi
ngsisnotokay.
Hewashi
tt
ingt
hewal
landnowhewon’
ttal
k.
Hehel
psmeupandpl
acesmeont
hebed.
Heki
ssesmyforeheadandstepsawaytost
andby
t
hewindowput
ti
nghi sphoneagai
nsthi
sears.
“
Somahhashi
weneedt
otal
k”hesay
s.

.
..
..
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..
..
..
..
.
Sponsor
ed
Bay
ede’
skeeper

#50

Nqubeko

Il
ookedatthephoneandwatchedthevi
deoover
andoveragai
nseeingherl
egskicki
ngt
il
lshet
ook
herl
astbreat
h.
I
nthevi
deoshe’
swear
ingnot
hingbutherunder
gar
ments.
Andthemanstandi
ngbehi
ndherwasusi
ngar
ope
tost
rangl
ehert
il
lshedi
ed.
Il
ookedathi
st at
tooar
m andshookmyhead
shut
ti
ngmyey es.
Thecal
lshookmeIwon’
tli
ewhenIki
l
ledt
hatmanI
di
dn’
tknowwhohewas.
Idi
dn’
tev
enstoptothi
nki
fhehadanychi
ldr
enor
wif
eIj
ustdi
ditt
ryi
ngtopr
otectMbomvu.
I
twasy ear
sagoandItookani
mpulsi
vedeci
sion
wi
thoutthi
nki
ngandnowit’
scomebacktobi
teme.
Ipourmy
sel
fadr
inkandgett
hedoor
.
Somahhashiwal
ksinfol
lowedbyNethaIlookatthe
manandthinkaboutal
ltheyear
sIhavebeenloyal
tohi
m.
Net
hacl
osest
hedoorandweal
lmakeourwayt
o
t
hebar
.
IhandMbomv
umyphoneandgul
pmydr
inkdown.
Hehandst
hephonet
oNet
hawhor
efusest
owat
ch.
“
Hesentmet
hat
”Isay
.
“
Whoi
sthi
sman”Net
haasks.
“
Thesonoft
hemanIki
l
ledi
npr
ison”Isay
.
Somahhashi
’
sey
eswi
denashel
ooksatme.
Net
haf
rownsandt
il
tshi
shead.
“
Whatman”heasks.
“
Idon’
tknowbutIki
l
ledamanandIhav
eaf
eel
i
ng
y
ourfat
herher
eknewhim wel
l
”Isay
.
“
Weareint
hismessbecauseIkil
ledamanthatwas
t
ryi
ngt
okil
lyourf
ather
”Isayshakingmyhead.
“Heiscomi
ngformeandhewi
l
luseev
ery
thi
ngand
ever
yonear
oundme”Isay
.
“
Babadoy
ouknowt
heman”Net
haasks.
“
Idi
dn’
tknowDav
idhadason”Somahhashi
say
s.
“
Iam sor
ryNqubeko”hesay
slooki
ngatme.
Il
ookatt
het
imeandbr
eat
heout
.
“
Weneedtofi
ndoutwhoandwhathel
ooksl
i
keand
t
hencomeupwit
haplan”Isay
.
Thebot
hnod.
“
Wearegoi
ngt
owarSomahhashi
andIhopey
ouar
e
r
eady
”Isay
.
Net
hachuckl
esandl
ooksatme.
“Iwantthemanthatkil
l
edPhet
hil
eIwantt
oski
n
him al
i
ve”hesay
scol dl
y.
Inodmyheadwal
ki
ngt
hem out
.
Il
ockt
hehouseandwal
kbackt
othebedr
oom and
cl
eart
hemesst
hatImade.
It
akeoffmycl
othesandgeti
nsnuggl
i
ngupagai
n
Bayede.
Ipl
acemyhandonherst
omachnev erdi
dIever
thi
nkherl
i
fewoul
dbeindangerandIwouldbethe
cause.
KnowingIam goi
ngt
obeaf at
herbr
ingssomuch
Joytoheart
,i
nfewmonthst
imemybabywi l
lrunni
ng
aroundt
hehousecal
li
ngmedad.
Igetupfrom t
hebedandwal
ktot
hecl
osetandt
ake
outther
ing.
Iwal
kov
erbackt
othebedandr
estmyheadonher
bel
ly
.
“Heylit
tl
eonei t
’smeyourDadsomanythinghave
beengoi ngonbetweenmommyandI ,
butbeing
blessedwithyouhasbeenthemostamazingthi
ng
ever.
Iwantyoutobest r
ongformommynomatt
erwhat
happensPhakathwayoIwanty
out
obestr
ongand
hol
donf orus.
Il
ovey
ousomuchandIcan’
twai
ttomeety
ou”Isay
.
Isi
tupst
rai
ghtandsl
i
det
her
ingi
nherf
inger
.
I
tfi
tsper
fect
lyl
i
keagl
oveIki
ssherhandandt
ake
pi
ctur
es.
Ihavebeenmeaningt
odot hi
spr
oper
obi
gapartof
hasbeenafr
aidshewil
lsaynowi
thhowthi
ngsar
e
betweenus.
Imov
etheboxandpl
acei
fawaypul
l
inghercl
ose.
“
MaNgubane”Isaysof
tl
y.
“
Mhmm”shesay
ssof
tl
y.
“
Sthandwasam”Isayki
ssi
ngherneck.
“
Babakhe”shesay
ssl
owl
yopeni
ngherey
es.
I
tmightsoundcl
i
cheandol
dbutIl
oveherr
efer
ri
ng
t
hatwaytome.
Il
ovet
het
erm par
ti
ngherl
i
ps.
“
Ngicel
aungi
bhebhi
sesthandwasam”Isaygent
ly
massagi
ngherbr
east.
Shet
urnsandl
ooksatmesmi
l
ingl
atel
yshe’
sbeen
hor
nyl
i
kehel
lnott
hatIam compl
aini
ng.
Igetinbet
weenhert
highsandki
ssherposi
ti
oni
ng
my sel
f.
“
Iam hungr
y”shesay
s.
“
Letmef
eedy
out
henmyl
ove”Isay
.
Ipushmy sel
finsi
deherandr
unmyhandsov
erher
softt
highs.
ShemoansasIst
rokehergent
lycar
eful
nott
ohur
t
her
.
Thet
houghtofhur
ti
ngherst
il
lhaunt
smeev
ennow.
“
OhPhakat
hway
o”shesay
shol
dingmet
ight
.
Iwrapmyarm ar
oundherwai
standki
ssgent
ly
thr
usti
ngi
n.
She’
sthesweet
estIhav
eev
ert
ast
edandIl
oveher
somuch.
Shescr
eamsherpl
easur
eanddi
ghernai
l
sint
omy
ski
n.
Igroanfi
ll
i
ngherupwi
thmyseed,Ipulloutand
reachfort
het
owelandcl
eanherupt henwipe
my
sel
fcl
ean.
“Ar
eyousti
l
lhungr
y”shenodsherheadasIpul
l
downherni
ght
wear.
Iputonmypant
sandl
i
ftherupheadi
ngt
othe
ki
tchen.
Ipl
aceheronthechai
randlookatthef
oodshe
boughtandputi
nthemicr
owav e.
Shest
andsupandwalksov
ert
othet
apandpour
s
her
sel
faglassofwat
er.
Thegl
assshat
ter
sasshescr
eamsl
oudf
ri
ght
eni
ng
me.
“Phakat
hwayoyini
le”(
Phakat
hway
owhati
sthi
s)
sheaskslooki
ngatherhand.
“
It
’sar
ingst
handwasam”Isay
.
Shescr
eamsev
enmor
efanni
ngher
sel
f.
Igodownmyoneandcar
eful
nott
ocutmy
sel
f.
“
Bay
edeNgubanewi
l
lyoumar
ryme”Iask.
Shenodsherheadandst
epsononeoft
hegl
asses
att
empti
ngtohugme.
“Il
oveyousomuchandy
esIam wi
l
lmar
ry”she
says.
Il
i
ftherupandhol
dheri
nmyar
mski
ssi
ngher
.
“
Myf
oothur
ts”shesay
s.
Ichuckleandpl
aceherontheki
tchencounterand
reachforthef
ir
stai
dkitandcl
eanhercutthen
bandageit.
“I
fyoumustknowIaskedf
ormyson’
sappr
oval
and
heagreed”Isay
.
Shel
aughsandpul
l
smecl
oseki
ssi
ngmyl
i
ps.
Hereyesfi
l
lwi
thtear
sshealway
shasthi
slook
whenevert
heper
sonshelov
esishur
ti
ng.
Shef
eel
swhatpeopl
efeelandthat’
swhyIl
oveher
somuchbutwor
ryaboutheratthesamet
ime.
Shepl
acesherhandonmychestandsmi
l
es.
“Whatwasi
nthatv
ideo”sheasksnowhav
ing
cal
meddown.
“Iam goi
ngtobey ourwi
feNqubekoy
oucan’
tkeep
secret
sfrom me”shesayssof
tl
y.
“I
twasav
ideoofPhet
hil
etaki
ngherl
astbr
eat
he”I
say.
Shenodsherhead.
“
Iam sor
ry”shesay
ssof
tl
y.

Myfuturewif
edidn’
tsl
eepatal
lnightshekeptme
upbytalki
ngandIknowshedidthatbecauseI
coul
dn’tsl
eep.
ShekeptmecalmthroughoutthenightandI
coul
dn’
thel
pt hi
nkaboutourli
vestogetherandt
he
amountofpeaceandloveshewouldbr i
nginmy
home.
Weareatthemal
lshe’
stheonewhowokemeup
t
oldmethatshei
staki
ngmeoutforf
orl
unch.
Shetr
yingt ot
akemymindofthi
ngsbutlastni
ghtI
wassay i
nggoodbye,
Bay
edecannotstaywithme
notwhent her
e’samanwhowantstokil
lme.
Ican’
tleaveheratthehouseal
onesheneedstobe
homewi thherparent
sthatwayIknowshewil
lbe
safer
.
Shehol
dsmyhandaswemakeourwayi
nsi
det
he
rest
aur
ant
,
Ipul
l t
hechai
rforherandki
sshercheekasshe
sett
lesdown.
Imov
eandsi
tfaci
ngher
.
Shel
ooksatherr
ingsandl
aughs.
“ThankyouPhakat
hway
oIl
ovei
t”shesay
sfl
aunt
ing
herhand.
Il
ookatt
hegent
lemanmaki
nghi
swayt
ousand
fr
own.
Hest
opsonourt
abl
eandBay
edesmi
l
es.
“
MrNzi
mande”shesay
s.
“
Bay
edehowar
eyou”heasks.
“
Iam goodt
hanky
ou”Bay
edesay
s.
“
Babythi
sisMrNzi
mandethemanwhogav
emea
j
obandItur
neddownofcour
se.
MrNzi
mandethi
sismyf
iancéPhakat
hway
o”
Bay
edesay
s.
Themanl ooksatmewithabitofafr
ownforsome
reasonhelooksfami
l
iarasi
fIhaveseenhi
sface
before.
“Iwasjustsay
inghel
l
o”themansay
slooki
ngat
Bayedehismouthagape.
Hesl
i
ght
lynodshi
sheadandwal
ksaway
.
Il
ookatBay
edeandt
hent
heman.
“
Sthandwasam l
et’
sgo”Isay
.
Shef
rownsandsul
ksabi
t.
“
Weneedt
oleav
ethi
spl
acenow”Isay
.
Shegr
absherbagandIhelpherup,
Itur
nar
oundand
l
ookatthi
sNzi
manderaisehisgl
assatmewinki
ng.

.
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
.
Sponsor
ed
Bay
ede’
skeeper

#51

Nqubeko

Idri
vebackhomeandpackBay
ede’
scl
othesput
ti
ng
them i
nasuit
case.
Sheisst
andi
ngl
eani
ngagai
nstt
hedoorwi
thher
armsfol
ded.
Ipl
acet
hesuit
caseontopoft
hebedandt
urnt
o
l
ookathersul
ki
ngsel
f.
“Uyasi
l
ahl
aNqubeko”
(ar
eyoudumpi
ngusNqubeko)
sheasks.
Ishakemyheadwi
tht
hepr
egnancysheeasi
l
ycr
ies
andalott
oo.
“NoIam notdumpingy oumyloveIam j
usttaki
ng
youtoyourfat
her’
splace,t
hat
’swayIwil
lknowy ou
aresaf
eunderhisroof”Isay.
“
Iwi
l
lbesaf
eher
ewi
thy
ou”shesay
s.
“Ican’
tleav
et hehouseBayedeandsti
llgett
hings
doneknowi ngthatyouar
eallal
one”Isay.
“
Wecanhi
remor
esecur
it
y”shesay
s.
“WecanbutIst i
lldon’twantyouar
oundthehouse
al
one,whathappensi fyougetanemergencyandI
am notaround”Iask.
Shet
apsherf
ootst
il
lfol
dingherar
ms.
Ipul
lherbyherhandsandsi
tint
hebedmaki
ngher
si
tontopofme.
“
Ilov
eyouandIdon’
twantt
olosey
ou”Isay
.
“
Iam goi
ngtowarsthandwasam andIwil
lbe
f
ight
ingwi
thev
eryt
hingthatIhav
esoplease”Isay
.
“
Whati
fwel
osey
ou”sheaskssof
tl
y.
“
Youwil
lneverl
oseme,Iam doi
ngal
lthi
stopr
otect
t
hewhol
ef amil
y”Isay
.
Shebi
tesherl
i
psasIcupherf
aceandki
ssher
.
“
Iwi
l
lmarr
yyouandyouwil
lbemr
sPhakathwayo
t
hemot
herofmychi
l
dren’
sandmyhear
t”Isay.
Shesmi
l
esbeaut
if
ulandhugsme
“
Iwi
l
lpr
ayf
ory
ou”shesay
s.
“
Thanky
oust
handwasam”Isay
..
“
Mba”Isay
.
Shesmil
esbeaut
if
ull
yandl
eansf
oraki
ssherhands
goi
ngtodowntomypants.

Tryi
ngt
oconvinceapr
egnantl
adyishar
dIhadt
o
begandsexhersoshecoul
dagreetogohomef
or
herownsaf
ety.
Thedri
vetoherhomeisquietshekeepsst
ari
ngat
herr
ingandbreat
hingheav
il
y.
“
Myf
atherdoesn’
tknowy
etdoeshe”
shesay
s.
“Ihaven’
taskedhi
mfory
ourhandi
nmar
ri
age”
Itel
l
her.
Shedeepl
ysi
ghs.
“
Youcant akeifof
fsthandwasam andputitaway
t
il
lthedustdiesdownbutIwantyoutoknowt hatI
l
oveyousomuchandwhent hisi
salloverIwantto
mar
ryy
ou”Isay
.
Shenodsherheadandtakesof
fherr
ingandput
ti
ng
i
tontheotherhands.
“
Iwi
l
lweari
tar
oundmyneck”shesay
s.
“
Thanky
ouf
orl
ovi
ngmeBay
ede”Isay
.
Shesmi
l
esandhol
dsmyhand.
Ipar
kinthedri
vewayoutsi
deSomahhashi ’
shouse
andstepoutoft
hecargett
inghersui
tcase.
Shefol
lowsbehi
ndaswemakeourwayi
nsi
det
he
house.
“
Andt
hen”Zamoasksoncewear
ebot
hinsi
de.
“
Hel
l
otoy
out
ooZamo”Isay
.
“
Whatswit
hthesuit
casedi
dyoufi
ght,
ohmyGoddid
y
outhrowmysist
eroutoft
hehouse”sheasks.
“NoIdidnosucht
hingr
ightl
ove”Isayl
ooki
ngat
Bayede.
Shenodsherhead.
“
Ohsowhyar
eyouher
e”Zamoasksshr
uggi
ngher
shoul
der
s.
“Zamostopbei
ngabusybodyandtaket
hat
suit
casetoy
oursi
ster
’sbedr
oom”MrsNgubane
says.
“
Butshe’
sthey
oungest
”Zamosay
s.
“
Zamo”Hermot
hersay
sgi
vi
nghert
heey
e.
“
Fine”shesay
staki
ngt
hesui
tcase.
IgreetMr
sNgubaneandpr
oceedt
oMbomv
u’s
study.
If
indhi
mli
steni
ngt
ojazzhol
dingagl
assi
nhi
shand.
Icl
oset
hedoorbehi
ndhi
m andset
tl
edown.
“
Somahhashi
”Isay
.
Herai
seshi
sheadandl
ooksatmeput
ti
ngdownhi
s
gl
ass.
Helooksst
ressedi
t’
sbeensi
nceIhav
eseenhi
m
l
ikethi
s
“
Iam sor
ryt
hatIputy
oui
nthi
sposi
ti
on”hesay
s.
Inodmyheadal
thoughIbl
amehi
m whati
sgoi
ngon.
“
Imett
heman”Isay
.
Hef
rowns.
“Hi
snameisShakaNzi
mandet
hemanwhoof
fer
ed
Bayedeempl
oyment
”Isay
.
Ican’
tbel
ieveBay
edewasthatcl
osetothemanwho
wantstowipemeofft
heexist
enceofthi
sworl
d.
“
DoesBay
edeknow”heasks.
“Nowhichi
swhyIt
houghti
twoul
dbebesttohav
e
herst
ayher
eti
ll
wearedonewit
hthi
spest
”Isay.
“Nowthatwehaveafacether
e’snothingstoppi
ng
usfr
om att
acki
ngandkil
li
ngthisbastard”hesays.
Ishakemyheaddr
awi
ngi
nsomeai
randl
ett
ingi
t
out.
“I
t’snotthatsi
mpleSomahhashithi
smanknowsus
bettert
hanweknowhi m,youcantell
thathe’
sdone
hi
sr esearchaboutusandweallknowhe’safew
stepsaheadofus”Isay.
“
Whatnow”heasks.
Ist
andupf
rom mychai
randl
ookatt
het
ime.
“
Igoi
ngt
opayhi
m av
isi
t”Isay
.
“
Nqubekodon’
tdoany
thi
ngst
upi
d”hesay
s.
“
Iwon’ti
t’
sjustaf
ri
endl
yvisi
tIwanttoseet
heman
f
orwhohei sandwhatbet
terwaythany
oupayhi
m
avi
sit
”Isay.
Hehesi
tant
lyhi
shead.
“
Ver
ywel
lcal
lmewheny
ouar
edone”hesay
s.
Icont
emplat
easkinghi
mforBayede’
shandi
n
marri
agebydeci
denottoask.
Il
ookathi
m andnodmyheadwal
ki
ngout
.
Isecret
lypassbyBayede’
sbedr
oom andf
indher
gett
ingundressed.
Ilookatherbeaut
if
ulbodyandsmi
l
ethesamebody
thati
saccommodat emyson.
Shel
ooksatmeandsmi
l
es.
“
Iwant
edt
osaygoodby
e”Isay
.
“
Iwill
call
youwhenIgethomeokay”Iki
ssher
f
oreheadandwal
koutheadi
ngoutsi
detomycar.
IaskedBay
edeaboutthemanandshet
oldmeal
l
sheknewwhichwaslit
tl
ebutshedi
dgi
vemethe
company’
saddress.
Idri
vetoNzi
mandeAccount
antt
heonl
ypl
acehav
e
thatImi
ghtf
indhi
min.
Iam l
eti
nandl
edt
ohi
sof
fi
ce.
Heisst
andi
ngf
aci
ngt
hewi
ndowwi
thhi
shandsi
n
hi
spocket
.
“
Tooky
oul
ongenough”hesay
stur
ningt
ofaceme.
Igi
vehim asmirkandr
est
rai
ntmy
sel
ffr
om ki
l
li
ng
hi
mr i
ghthere.
“
Whatdoy
ouwantf
rom me”Iask.
“
Yourl
i
febutwebot
hknowy
ouar
enotgi
veme
t
hat
”hesays.
“SoIam goi
ngtot
akeeachandeveryt
hingy
oucar
e
aboutt
il
lyoubegmeforfor
giv
eness”hesays.
“Webot
hknowIwon’tdothatei
therseei
ngt
haty
ou
ki
ll
edmysi
sterandbr
otheri
narm”Isay .
“Whi
chwasashamebot hwer
edowntoeart
h,Imust
sayyoutaughtMandlakhewel
lhedi
edli
keatrue
manandasf oryoursist
erwel
lshewasbi
tdif
ficul
t”
hesays.
Icl
enchmyj
awsandt
ight
enmyf
ist
.
Hesmi
l
esandsl
i
ght
lyt
il
tshi
shead.
“Iam goingt
obreakyousomuchy ouwi l
lwi
shy ou
nevermetmyf at
her,
Iam goingt
otakeeveryt
hing
awayf r
om andwheny outhi
nkIam notdoneIwill
gofortheonethi
ngy oulovemoret
hanany t
hing”he
says.
If
rownt
hinki
ngaboutBay
ede.
“
That’
sri
ghtIwi
l
ltakeherawayf
rom y
ouandi
nthe
mostpai
nful
way”hesays,
“
Seeamanlikey
ouisweakhav
ingaf
ami
l
ymakes
y
ouweak”hesays.
“
Say
samanwi
thahi
ddensi
ster
”Isay
.
Hi
sey
eswi
denbuthequi
ckl
ymaskst
heshockof
f.
“Seeifthere’
sonet
hingIl
ear
nedaboutyourfat
her
afterki
l
linghimist
hathehadadaught
erthathe
l
oveddear
ly”Isay
.
“Imightnotknowev erythingaboutyoubutIwill
find
herandt r
ustmet hepai nIfeelr
ightwil
lbenothi
ng
compar edtowhaty ouar egoingtofeel
,youmadea
hugemi stakebycomi ngbyher eandgoingaft
ermy
famil
yandwor setothreatenme”Isay .
Thedooropensanday oungl
adywal
ksi
nIcoul
dbe
mist
akenbuthetensesup.
“
LikeIsai
dIwil
lfi
ndherandy ouwi
llwi
shy
ouhadn’
t
messedwithme”Isaywalki
ngout.
Thatwasdef
ini
tel
ythesi
sterdi
sgui
sedasan
employ
ee.

.
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
.
Sponsor
ed
Bay
ede’
skeeper

#52

I
t’
sbeenweeksnowandt
hingshav
ebeencr
azy
.
Noneofushavebeenabl
etol
eavethehouse
wi
thoutbody
guar
dshoveri
ngoverus.
Thehouseisnotwhati
tusedt
obewear
eli
vi
ngi
n
fearoft
heunknown.
Nqubekohastur
nedint
osomeoneIdon’
tknow,
he’
s
l
ikeastr
angerandIam scar
edt
hatwhenthi
swar
endsIwoul
dhav el
osthim.
Hecal
lseverydaytocheckuponusbuthe’
snott
he
manIknowi t
’sli
kePhethi
le’
sdeat
hunl
eashed
somet
hinginsideofhi
m.
Il
ookatmysel
finthemir
rorandsmi
lemybabyi
s
gr
owingandIcan’
twaitt
omeether.
Appar
entl
yIhav
eonejobandthati
stotakecar
eof
t
hebabyandmakesur
eshe’swellf
ed.
Myphoneri
ngsandIbendoverr
eachi
ngf
ori
t,
Il
ook
att
heunknownnumberandanswer.
“
Hel
l
o”Isay
.
Theper
sonont
heot
herl
i
necoughsabadcough.
“
Bay
ede”t
hev
oicesay
s.
Irecogni
zet
hevoi
ceandmovet
hephoneawayfr
om
myearandsett
ledownont
hebedf
eeli
ngmylegs
getweak.
“
Bay
edepl
easedon’
thangup”shesay
s.
“
Whatdoy
ouwant
”Iask.
“
Ineedt
oseey
ou”shesay
s.
Ial
mostchuckl
eandshakemyhead.
“
Seemef
orwhatexact
lysoy
oucanki
l
lme”Iask.
Shecoughsagai
nandt
hist
imei
tlastl
ongert
il
lshe
shout
sforVumil
e.
Herbr
eat
hingi
sdi
ff
icul
tandi
tswheezi
ng.
“
Ihaven’
tbeenokayBay
ede”shesay
sinast
rai
ned
v
oice.
“
Idon’
tcareandtr
ustmeIdon’
twantanyt
hingt
odo
wi
thyou,
don’ty
ouevercal
lmeagai
n”Isay.
“
Bay
edeIam dy
ing”shesay
sbef
oreIendt
hecal
l
.
“Iam dy
ingBay
edepl
easeIneedt
oseey
ou”she
says.
Icl
osemyey
esandendt
hecal
l
.
Thiswomanhasthener
vetocal
lmeaft
er
every
thi
ngshedi
dtousshecandief
oral
lcar
e.
Myphoner
ingsagai
nandIswi
pet
hecal
lanswer
ing
i
t.
“Lalel
awemamai f
amangabeufunaukudlakodwa
hlukananomphefumulowam ngi
yakhonzamina”
(l
istenherewomandieify
ouwanttodiebutleav
e
meal one)Isay
.
“Tel
lyourPhakat
hway
otor
eleasemysi
ster
”the
call
ersays.
“
Hel
l
o”Isay
.
Ist
andupf
rom t
hebedmyhear
tbeat
ingf
ast
.
“
Bay
edet
ell
yourmant
orel
easemysi
sterorhewi
l
l
r
egr
eti
t”
thecal
l
ersay
s.
Thefactt
hatt
hisper
sonknowsmynamef
reaksme
out
.
“
Idon’
tknowwhaty
ouar
etal
ki
ngabout
”Isay
.
“Idon’
tcar
efi
ndhi
m andgi
vehi
mthemessage”t
he
call
sends.
Thi
siswhatIhav
ebeenafr
aidofbeingcaughti
nthe
middl
eofPhakat
hwayo’
sdeal
ings.
Igrabthephoneandwal
koutofmybedr
oom
headingtot
heliv
ingr
oom.
Asal
waysbaba,
Net
haandBandil
earenother
e,I
gr
eetev
ery
oneandgrabachai
rsett
li
ngdown.
Kenyast
andsupfr
om herchai
randcomesov
erand
rest
sherheadonmyl
ap.
“
Yey
e”shesay
s.
“
YesPumPum”Isay
.
“Mamasaysther
e’sal
soababyi
nyourbel
l
y
growi
ng”shesay
slooki
ngup.
Ismi
l
eandr
uff
leherhai
r.
“
Yest
her
e’sababygr
owi
ngi
nsi
deme”
Isay
.
Shesmi
l
esexci
tedl
yandt
ouchesmybel
l
y.
“
Howdi
ditgeti
nsi
de”sheasks.
Thet
abl
eer
upt
swi
thl
aught
erandcl
ear
edt
hroat
s.
Il
ookatThandowhosmi
l
esandsi
psherj
uice.
“Whydon’
tyouaskyourmotherIam sur
esheknows
si
ncether
e’sababyi
nhertummyt oo”Isay
.
“
Mamadoesn’
tknow”shesay
sconf
ident
ly.
“
Whyi
sthat
”Iask.
“
Becauseshesai
dso”shesay
s.
“
WellIprayedtoGodf
orabl
essi
ngandhegav
eme
ababy”Isay.
“That
’snotwhatgogot
oldme”shesay
ssqui
nti
ng
hereyes.
Il
ookatmama.
“Isi
mplytol
dherthatwhenamom anddadlov
e
eachtheymakeababyandthatonedayIwoul
dtel
l
herhow”shesays.
Ishakemyheadandl aughnotsolongthi
ski
ddidn’
t
wantabr ot
herorsi
sternowshe’
saskingmeabout
growingbabies.
Il
ookatZamoandIcant
ell
hermi
ndsof
araway
.
Noonewantstobeapr
isonerespeci
all
yony
our
ownfat
her
’shouse.
Icl
earmyt
hroatandl
ookatmama.
“
AuntMar
thacal
l
ed”Isay
.
Zamor
aisesherheadl
ooki
ngatme.
“WhatdoesshewantIhopeyout
oldhert
ogoj
ump
orhanghersel
f”Zamosays.
“
Zamo”Mamawar
ns.
“I
t’
struet
houghmamaaf terev
eryt
hingt
hatwoman
di
dtoBayede,Ihopeshet
oldherwheret
ogetoff
”
Thandosays.
Mamal
ooksatKeny
aandsmi
l
es.
“
Keny
apl
easef
etchgogohergl
asses”mamasay
s.
“
Bay
edewhatdi
dshesay
”sheasks.
“
Sheaskedt
oseemeappar
ent
lyshe’
sdy
ing”Isay
.
Shenodsherheadanddeepl
ysi
ghs.
“Iknowthatwomanhur tyouandthatshetookaway
somuchf rom you,
butyouarebet
terthanherand
youshouldalwaysrememberthat
.
Youneedtoforgi
veheri
nor
dert
oheal
andmov
eon
fr
om yourpast
.
Youwi ll
besi ckBayedefrom holdingontoy
ourpast
pai
nandt hatgrudgeyouhav ei
nsideofy
ou,
she
doesn’tdeserveyourforgivenessandyouoweher
nothingbuty ouowey ourselfpeaceandsomuch
mor e.
Byfor
givingheryouarenotdoi ngi
tforherbutdoing
i
tforyourselfandpeaceofmi nd,
tr
ustmeoncey ou
haveforgiv
enhery ouwil
llookbackandy ourpast
wil
lbejustthatapastthathasnoholdandi mpact
onyou”shesay s.
“For
givingsomeoneishardi
thurt
sandit
’snotan
overnightthi
ngbutt
hinkabouti
tokay
”Inodmy
headlookingatZamoshakeherhead.
“Ofcoursey
ouwouldsaythatmamabecauseyou
areagoodpersonandgotochurch,
butt
hetr
uthi
s
for
givi
ngsomeoneishar
despeciall
ywhent
hey
knewwhattheyweredoi
ng.
Thatwomanwat chedwhil
eherbrot
herabusedmy
si
ster
s,sheher
selfki
l
ledBayede’
schi
ldandhasa
handinKhethi
wedy i
ng.
Sowecan’ texpectBayedetojustfor
giv
eandmov e
onjustbecausethatol
dHaagi scl
osetody i
ngand
wantstodiewi t
haclearconsciousngiy
ala”Zamo
say
s.
“
Zamot
hat
’senough”Mamasay
s.
“Noit’
snotenoughIwantthatwomant osufferl
et
herdieandgotohealandbur nforever
ythingshe
did,
whymustthegoodpeopl ealwayssufferandbe
expectedt
oforgi
veasifnothinghappened.
Apersonsl
apsyouononecheekandy ouar e
expect
edtobri
ngtheot hercheek,
aper sonhurtsyou
andyouexpect
edt oforgi
vethem justbecausethey
suddenl
yaskedforforgi
veness”shesay sstanding.
“
Idon’
tknowmyt
winbecauseoft
hedeci
sionst
hat
weretaken,
Iam st
uckhereinthi
shousebecauseof
thedeci
sionsBabatookandwhenal lt
hisisdonewe
aresupposedtobegratef
ulandthankf
ul t
hatweare
ali
ve.
Wewouldn’
tbei
nthi
smesshaditnotbeenf
orhi
m
andasal
wayswearesupposedt
ofor
givehi
m.
Iam t
ir
edofusal
way sbei
ngt
hebi
ggerpeopl
e”she
l
ooksshaki
ngherhead.
She’
sangr
yandbyherl astr
antsit
snotonl
yabout
Mart
habutthedeci
sionsourparent
’st
ookleadi
ngt
o
whereweareri
ghtnow.
Babawal
ksi
nfol
l
owedbyNqubekoandcl
ear
shi
s
thr
oat
.
Zamowal
kspasthi
m andheadst
oherbedr
oom.
Thandoexcuseshersel
f,
Il
ookatNqubekoandask
hi
mt ojoi
nmei nthekit
chen.
Hedoesandleansagai
nstt
hef
ri
dgewi
thhi
shands
i
nhispocket
s.
Il
ookathi
m andr
eal
i
zehe’
ssl
owl
ytur
ningi
ntot
his
col
dman.
“Someonecal
ledmeandaskedmet ogiveyoua
message,
thepersonaskedthatyour
eleasehi
s
sist
erory
ouwi l
lregr
eti
t”Isay.
Hef
rownsandpi
ncheshi
snosebr
idge.
“
Whatel
sedi
dhesay
”heasks.
“
Nqubekowhat
’sgoi
ngonwhoi
sthi
sman”Iask.
“Iam scar
ednotonl
yformebutmybabyngi yacel
a
Phakathwayogi
vethi
smanhissi
sterback”Isay.
Henodshi
sheadandgr
abshi
scarkey
smov
ing
cl
oser
.
Hewr
apshi
shandsar
oundmywai
standsmi
l
es.
“
Wil
lyougi
veherback”Iask.
Henodshi
sheadki
ssi
ngme.
“
YesIwi
l
l”hesay
s.
“
Telly
oufatherIhadt
oleav
eandt akecar
eoft
he
Nzi
mandeissue”hesayswalki
ngout.
Ibl
inkatt
hement
ionofNzi
mandeandf
rowncoul
d
thi
sbeShaka.
.

Nqubeko

Idrovetot
hewar ehouseli
vidt
hatShakahadt
he
audacit
ytocal
lthemot herofmychil
dandthr
eat
en
her.
IlookedatNethali
neupZaineandZekhetheko
havingthem onthekneeswit
hthei
rhandsbehind
theirbacks.
“Bandil
ethi
sisthet
imetobackoutandwal
koutof
here”Isai
dlooki
ngatBandi
l
e.
Heshookhi
sheadandswal
l
owed.
“
Wear
efami
l
yandf
ami
l
yst
andst
oget
her
”hesai
d.
Il
ookedatNet
ha’
scar
vingZai
nel
i
kewoodhi
sski
n
f
all
i
ngof
f.
Isatbackandwatchedabl
i
ndf
oldedZekhet
hel
o
shaki
ngandcryi
ng.
“
PleaseIam beggi
ngy
ou”
Zai
nesai
d.
“Whenyourapedmysisterandki
ll
edherdi
dyou
stopwhenshebegged”Iasked.
Istoodmyupanddeeplysighedwal
kingtowar
ds
them Net
hawasenj
oyingthistoomuchformyliki
ng.
Ipul
ledoutmygunandcockedi
tandnoddedmy
head.
Bandi
l
est
oodbehi
ndmeandst
art
ingshoot
inga
vi
deo.
Ipoi
ntedt
hegunt
oZai
ne’
sheadandai
medf
orhi
s
for
ehead.
Ishothi
mt wi
ceandhef
ell
tot
heground,
Itur
nedt
he
guntoZekhet
hel
eandai
medatherhead.
“
Pleasedon’
tki
l
lme”shepl
eaded.
Herv
oicecr
ackedandshebr
okedowncr
ying.
Ipul
l
edt
het
ri
ggerandshotheri
nthehead.
Shefel
ltot
hegr
oundandbl
oodgushedoutofher
wound.
“Iwantbot
hbodi
esdumpedi
n-f
rontofhi
sgat
e”I
said.
Itur
nedmyheadandl ookedatKhet
hiwef
orthef
ir
st
ti
meev erIf
eltsomeone’
sdeathbymyhands.
Herdeat
hwi
l
lfor
everhauntme.
Itookthephonefrom Bandi
l
eandsatdownl
ooki
ng
atitasitpl
ayedout.
Iwant
edhi
mtof
eel
thesamepai
nIf
eltandmor
e.
“
He’
sgoi
ngt
ocomeaf
terus”Net
hasai
d.
“
AndIam r
eadyf
orhi
m”Isai
dlay
ingback.

.
..
..
..
..
..
.
Bay
ede’
skeeper

#53

Nqubeko

Newsaboutthebodi
esfoundout
sidet
heNzi
mande
r
esidentwer
emakingthether
ounds.
IknowShakawi
llr
etal
iat
eandcomehar datmeI
j
ustneedtomakesurethesecuri
tyi
sti
ghtandt
hat
nothi
ngandnoonegoesthrough.
Acallcomest
hroughIl
ookedatt
hephoneand
answered.
“
Gambu”Isay
.
“Sekwenzeki
lePhakathway
o”(
it
’sdone
Phakathwayo)hesays.
“Akekhonoy
edwaobonil
enomaosol ay
o”(
Sonoone
saworissuspect
ingany
thi
ng)Iask.
“Lut
houmuzi wonaushewanqonqakwangabona
muntungishoinganeyakheibingekho”
(Noonesay
s
anyt
hingthehouseburnedintoashesev ent
he
daughterwasn’
tther
e)hesay s.
“
Andt
heMt
hembu”Iaskl
ooki
ngatt
ime.
IpromisedBay
edet
hatIwoul
dtakehert
othe
doctor
s.
“Kukhonalokhosengi
kut
it
iny
ekwazekway i
chamel
a
i
seny emf
usendoda”(He’
shereIroughedhi
mt i
l
lhe
pissedhi
msel f
”hesay
schuckli
ng.
“Iwantt
ogifthi
mt oSomahhashi
makesur
ehe
stay
sali
ve”Isay.
“
Kul
ungi
l
eby
e”hesay
sendi
ngt
hecal
l
.
Il
ookatt
het
imeandgr
abmycarkey
sheadi
ngout
.

.
.

Bay
ede
Iam wokenupmyr i
ngi
ngphoneitgoesonandon
ti
ll
Isitupst
rai
ghtandanswert
hecall
.
Ianswert
hecal
landdeepl
ysi
ghr
ubbi
ngmyey
es.
Thecal
lgetscutbefor
eIcansayany
thi
ng a
messagecomest hr
ough.
Iopent
het
extandaf
ewphot
osofdeadpeopl
epi
l
l
up.
Ial
mostpukeandputahandovermymoth
swal
lowi
ngbecauseoft
hegruesomepi
ctur
es.
Ipressthevideoandi
tdownl
oadssl
owl
yasmy
heartbeatpi
cksup.
Igetoutoft
hebedandpaceupanddownhol
ding
thephonecl
osetomychest
.
Il
ookatthev
ideoandi
t’
sfi
nal
l
ydone,
Ipr
esspl
ay
hol
dingmybreat
h.
Nqubekoshowsuphi
sbackf
aci
ngt
hecamer
aI
knowit’
shi
m.
Il
ookatt
het
wov
ict
imsont
hei
rkneest
heman
badl
ycutupandbi
temyl
i
p.
They
ounggi
rlscr
eamsbeggi
ngf
orherl
i
fe.
Thef
ir
sttwogunshotgoof
fandt
hephonef
all
sof
f
myhands.
Icl
osemyey
esandt
het
hir
donegoesof
f.
Acallcomest
hroughandIsl
owl
yreachf
ort
he
phone.
Ianswert
hecal
lhol
dingi
nmyt
ear
s.
“
Hekill
edmysi
steri
ncoldbl
oodBayede”I
r
ecogni
zedt
hevoiceandmyli
pstr
emble.
“
Shaka”Isay
.
Thecal
lget
scutandIt
rycal
l
ingi
tbackbuti
tgoes
st
rai
ghttov
oicemai
l
.
Thephonedr
opsbecauseofmyshaki
nghands.
Ical
lNqubekoandheanswer
sont
hef
ir
str
ing.
“
Nqubekokodway
ini
”Iask.
“
Bay
ede”hesay
s.
If
ail
toexpr
essmy
sel
fandendt
hecal
lbr
eat
hing
heav
il
y.
Mychestst
art
sburni
ngIst
ruggl
etobr
eat
heasmy
hear
tbeat
srapi
dly
.
“
Mama”Imanaget
oshout
.
Thedoorswi
ngsopenandmyf
atherwal
ksi
n
fol
l
owedMa.
Theybot
hkneel
inf
rontofmeandhol
dmyhands.
“
Youar
enotdy
ingokaybr
eat
heBay
ede”babasay
s.
Ishakemyheadbecauset
hist
imei
tfeel
sli
keIam
abouttodi
e.
“Bayedebr
eat
hethi
nkaboutt
hebaby
”mamasay
s
squeezi
ngmyhand.
It
akesl
owdeepbr
eat
hesandl
ett
ingt
heai
rout
.
Babast
andsupandwal
ksoutcomi
ngbackwi
tha
gl
assofwater
.
“Youaredoi
nggr
eatbr
eat
he”shesay
snoddi
ngher
head.
Ibr
eat
hei
nandoutf
eel
i
ngmysensescomeback.
“
What
’swr
ong”Babaasks.
Tearsf
ill
myey esandIst
ruggl
etosayany
thi
ng
wordsfailme.
Iam st
il
lshockedbythedeadbodi
esandIdon’t
wanttobeli
evethati
t’
sNqubekointhatv
ideo.
“
Bay
edet
alkt
ousseei
sitt
hebaby
”sheasks.
Ishakemyhead.
“
Thent
alkt
ous”shesay
sinapl
eadi
ngv
oice.
Babahel
psmedr
inkt
hewat
er.
“
Youar
eshaki
ng”hesay
shel
pingme.
“
Ithi
nkIwi
l
lcal
lNqubeko”
hesay
swal
ki
ngout
.
“
It
’snot
hingmamaIwasj
ustov
ert
hinki
ng”Isay
.
Shesl
owl
ynodsherheadandf
aint
lysmi
l
es.
“Iwi
l
lmakey
ousomet eai
tshoul
dcal
myoudown”
shesay
swal
kingout
.
Il
ayonthebedandpl
ayt
hev
ideoov
erandov
er
agai
n.
I
ttakesanhourbef
oreNqubekoget
sher
ehewal
ks
i
nandcl
osest
hedoorl
ooki
ngatme.
Helooksfi
neokayev
ent
houghhej
ustt
ookt
wo
l
iv
esy est
erday
.
Hewal
ksov
ert
omeandset
tl
esont
hebed.
Ihandhi
m myphoneandwat
chashepl
ayst
he
vi
deo.
Iwai
tforhi
mtofli
nchtodoanyt
hingbuthehands
mebackthephoneanddeepl
ysighs.
“
Iam sor
ryt
haty
ouhadt
oseet
hat
”hesay
ssof
tl
y.
“
Nqubekowhatar
eyou”Iask.
“
Iam t
hefat
herofy
ourchi
l
dthemanwhoaskedy
ou
t
omarryhi
m”hesays.
Ishakemyhead.
“
No”Isayshaki
ngmyhead.
“
Youki
l
ledtwopeopleNqubekoandy
ouar
ewal
ki
ng
l
i
kenot
hinghappened”Isay
.
Hecl
ear
shi
sthr
oatst
andi
ngup.
“
Theywer
einnocent
”Isay
.
“Thatmanwasf arf
rom i
nnocentheki
l
ledmysi
ster
”
hesaysshout
ing.
“
Andt
hatgi
rlwhatdi
dshedo”Iask.
“Shewasbeggi
ngyouPhakat
hwayonott
oki
l
lher
andyoust
il
lpul
ledt
hetr
igger
”Isay
.
“Theyki
l
ledmysi st
erwhatwasIsupposedt
odosi
t
backandlaugh”heasks.
“Bethebi
ggermanNqubekoandnotusei
nnocent
peoplei
nyourf
ight
s”Isay
.
“
Wel
lthi
swast
heonl
yway
”hesay
s.
“Noit
swasn’ty
ouchoset
hiswayandy
ouar
eno
bet
terthant
hem”Isay
.
Her
aiseshi
sey
ebr
owsl
ooki
ngatme.
“Iam doi
ngevery
thingIcant
opr ot
ectmyfamil
y
becauseifIdi
dn’
tthatmanwill
kill
all
ofus”he
shouts.
“
YouareamonsterNqubekoacol
dbl
ooded
monst
er”Isay
.
“
Ubabul
eleNqubeko”
(Youki
l
ledt
hem Nqubeko)I
say
.
Henodshi
sheadnodmov
escl
oser
.
“Iknowst
handwasam butIneedy
out
ocal
m down”
hesays.
Ibreakdownandbi
temyl
i
pbur
yingmyheadi
nmy
knees.
Hehol
dsmet
ightandr
aisesmyheadmaki
ngme
f
acehi
m.
“Iam doingallt
histoprotecty
ouandthebaby
,Iam
sorrythatyousawt hatvi
deobutIam aj
ustaman
tryi
ngtoprotecthisfamil
y.
Il
ovey
ouBay
edemor
ethanany
thi
ng”hesay
s.
Il
ookathi
shandsandshr
iek.
“
Pleasedon’
tdot
hat
”hesay
ssof
tl
y.
“
Idon’
twantmychi
l
dtober
aisedbyaki
l
ler
”Isay
.
Hefl
inchesadswal l
owshardclenchi
nghisjaws,
no
matt
erwhathesay sri
ghtnowitwon’ttakeaway
whatIsawfrom t
hev i
deo.
Hecupsmychi
nandki
ssesme,
hesl
owl
ydeepens
t
heki
ssandr
est
shi
sfor
eheadonmi
ne.
“Iwi
ll
fixthi
ssthandwasam IswearIwi
l
lfi
xthi
s”he
sayswhisper
inginmyear.
“NgiyesabaNqubekoangi laliebusukuangifuni
ukulahlekelwauwenaPhakat hway o,yi
yekelent o
ngiy
acel amunt uwam yishiyephansi l
entoy enzela
minamengane”(Iam scar edNqubekoIdon’ tsl
eep
atnight,Idon’
twanttolosey oupl easelett
hi sgodo
i
tformeandt hebaby
)Isay .
Henodshi
sheadandf
aint
lysmi
l
es.
“
Okayf
ory
ouIwi
l
ldoany
thi
ng”hesay
sst
andi
ngup.
Hebr
ushesmybel
l
yandsi
ghs.
“
Idi
dn’
tmeant
oupsety
ouMaNgubane”hesay
s.
Hebendsandki
ssesmyf
orehead.
“
Iwi
l
lwai
tfory
oui
ntheki
tchen”hesay
swal
ki
ngout
.

Itakeaf
ewminutesandgetreadythenwalkout
,I
fi
ndhimint
hekit
chenseatedhavingcof
fee.
AsmuchasIl
ovehi
m apar
tofmei
saf
rai
doft
he
manhei
snow.
Hequi
ckl
yget
sonhi
sfeetandl
ooksatme.
“
Youl
ookgood”hesay
s.
Inodmyheadandf
aint
lysmi
l
e.
Webot
hmakeourwayoutheadi
ngt
othecar
.
Heopensf
ormeandwal
ksov
ert
ohi
ssi
de.
Aloudbanggoesof
fIt
urnandl
ookatNqubeko
shoot
ingback.
“
Stayi
nthecarandkeepy
ourheaddown”heshout
s.
Idr
opmyheadandcl
osemyear
sti
l
lthenoi
sedi
es
down.
Iopenmyey
est
oseeev
ery
onest
andi
ngout
side.
It
urnmyheadandNqubekoi
snowher
etobeseen.
“Cal
lanambulance”myf
athershout
srunni
ngt
othe
backofthecar
.

.
..
..
..
..
.
Bay
ede’
skeeper

#54

Ist
epoutofthecarwit
hmyhandaroundmy
abdomenIfeelsomecrampsdownther
e.
“
Bay
edest
ayi
nthecar
”Babashout
s.
Ishakemyheadandwal
kov
ert
owher
ehei
s.
Net
hai
shol
dingNqubekoi
nhi
sar
msshaki
nghi
m.
“Nqubeko”Isayt
hroughgr
it
tedt
eet
hast
hepai
n
comesandgoes.
“
Ithi
nky
oushoul
dgeti
nthehousesi
si”Mamasay
s.
Ishakemyheadl
ooki
ngatbl
oodont
hegr
ound.
“
Baba”Isay
.
“
He’
snotdeadr
ight
”Iaskhol
dingmyback.
Hegaspsf
orai
randhol
dshi
schestpul
l
inghi
sshi
rt
.
Net
haqui
ckl
yopensuphi
sshi
rtup.
Ihol
dontomamaandbi
temyl
i
psast
ear
sfal
ldown
mycheekshe’
sal
i
ve.
Heviol
entl
ycoughsasNet
hat
akesoutt
he
bul
l
etproofvest
.
Hel
ooksatmeandsmi
l
esbr
eat
hingheav
il
y.
“Iam notaboutt
odi
enow”hesay
slooki
ngathi
s
bleedi
ngarm.
“
Ahh”Isay
.
Theyal
ll
ookatme.
“
What
’swr
ong”Babaasks.
“I
t’
sthebaby
”Isaybi
ti
ngmyl
i
past
hepai
nst
ir
sup
agai
n.
“
Weneedt
ocal
lthedoct
or”Babasay
s.
Mamashakesherheadandopenst
hecar
.
“
Sheneedsthehospi
tal
,
Net
hadr
ive”shehel
pingme
i
nset
tl
ingnextt
ome.
“Yourf
atherwi
l
lfol
l
owuswi
thNqubekodon’
twor
ry”
shesays
Net
haget
sinandst
art
sthecardr
ivi
ngout
Thecrampscomeandgoandapar
tofmewor
ri
es
thatImi
ghtl
oset
hebaby.
Wegettothehospi
tal
andIam r
ushedt
otheER
i
mmediatel
y.
Doct
orTay
lorwal
ksi
nandl
ooksatme.
“
Bay
ede”shesay
s.
“
Idon’
twantt
olosemybaby
”Isay
.
Shehol
dmyhandsandsmi
l
es.
“
Youarenotgoi
ngtoloset
hebaby
,nowt
ell
me
what
’swr
ong”sheasks.
“
Ihav
ethesecr
ampst
hatcomeandgo”Isay
.
Shenodsherheadandli
ft
smydr essup,
shepar
ts
mylegsandtakesapeakthencomesupandlooks
atme.
“Ther
eisnobleedi
ngwhichisgoodnowIneedt
o
examineyouandthebaby”shesays.
Inodmyheadasshepr
epar
est
oexami
neme.
“
Ismybabyokay
”Iask.
Shemov esthepr
obear
oundt
il
lweheart
he
hear
tbeat.
Iwi
pemytear
sandsmi
l
elooki
ngatt
hesmal
l
scr
een.
“
Thebaby
’shear
tbeati
sst
eadyandst
rong”shesay
s.
“
Thenwhat
’supwr
ongwi
thme”Iask.
ThedooropensandNqubekowal
ksi
nbandaged.
“
MrPhakat
hway
osi
r”t
hedoct
orsay
ssmi
l
ing.
“AsIwassay i
ngthebabyi
sdoi
ngfine,
butwi
thev
ery
pregnancycomesri
skandcompli
cati
ons.
Yourhi
ghbloodpressur
eseemstobeupwhi chi
s
notgoodf
ory ouandthebaby,
i
fyoukeepon
str
essi
ngandwor r
yingt
henthi
sbabywon’tmakeit
.
Ial
wayadvicemypati
entst
obecal m,t
oexer
cise
andeathealt
hyandnott
ostress”shesay
s.
“
Whatcanwedot omakesur
esheandt
hebabyar
e
f
ine”Nqubekpasks.
“
Makesur
esheget
sal
otofr
estandIemphasi
zedo
notst
ressherpl
ease”Shesay
s.
“Yoursonisstr
ongandhe’shol
dingonbuti
fBayede
keepsstr
essingandcomingbackherewemight
l
osehim”shesay slooki
ngatNqubeko.
Shewi
pesmeupanddeepl
ysi
ghs.
“Thenur sewill
beheretoadminist
eryour
medi cati
onforthepai
nandwewi l
lbekeepi
ngyou
overnightforobser
vat
ion”shesayswalki
ngout
.
Thenur
sewal
ksinr
ightaf
tert
hedoct
orandgi
ves
mesomemedici
ne.
Iam t
hentakent
omyr
oom wher
eIchangei
ntot
he
hospi
tal
gown.
Il
ookatNqubekoandi
tdawnsonmet
hatIal
most
hi
mtoday.
Hemov
escl
oseandt
akesmyhandsi
ntohi
s.
“Ngi
yaxol
i
saMaNgubane”(
Iam sor
ryMaNgubane)
hesayswipi
ngmytear
s.
Il
ookt
otheot
hersi
deandbi
temyl
i
p.
Het
urnsmyf
aceandgent
lyki
ssesme.
“
Phephi
samunt
uwam”hesay
ssof
tl
y.
“
Weal
mostl
osty
ouNqubeko”Isay
.
“
Iknowbuther
eIam herewit
hyoubecauseIam
t
aki
ngasmanyprecaut
ionsasIcan”hesays.
Inodmyhead.
“
Wozal
a”(
Comeher
e)hesay
sgi
vi
ngmeahug.
“
ImadeapromiseBay
edethatIwoul
dnev
erl
eav
e
y
ouandIwon’t
”hesays.
“Wear
ehav i
ngasonMaNgubane,
youar
egiv
ingme
asonandyoudeser
veev
eryt
hingt
hati
sgood”he
say
ssmili
ng.
“
Dot
rustme”heasks.
“
Yes”Isay
.
“Goodbecausewearet
hiscl
oset
oendi
ngal
lthi
s”
hesaysconfi
dent
ly.
“
Iam sor
ryaboutal
lthet
hingsIsai
dear
li
er”Isay
.
“
Ilov
edy
out
henandIst
il
ll
ovey
ounow”Isay
.
Hebeamsandt
hatput
smeatease.
“
AndIl
ovey
oumor
eBay
ede”hesay
s.
Il
ookathi
m andgetal
lemot
ional
agai
n.
“
Ngi
yakut
handaNqubeko”Isay
.
Hechuckl
es.
“
Uthandway
imi
na”hesay
s.
Her
emovest
her
ingsf
rom myot
herf
ingerand
smi
l
es.
“Ispoketoyourf
atheronourwayher
eandIasked
himf ory
ourhandinmarri
ageandheagr
eed.
NowBay
edeNgubanewi
l
lyoumar
ryme”hesay
s.
Inodmyheadashesl
i
pst
her
ingi
nmyf
inderand
l
eansov
ertoki
ssme.

Nqubeko
Ileftt
hehospital
andwentbackhometogetafew
thingsdonethenIcal
l
edSomahhashiandt
oldhim
aboutMt hembu.
Iwasn’tgoingtopursuethematterbutt
henI
thoughtaboutthepaintheyputBayedeand
Khethi
wet hrough.
It
houghtaboutMthembugett
ingawaywithwhathe
di
dandhowhewoul ddoi
ttootherki
dsIknewthen
Iwoul
dn’tbeabl
etoliv
ewit
hmy self
.
Thi
ngshavebeenhardt
ryi
ngtokeepeveryonesafe
andbepresentf
ort
hepregnancyhasbeenhard.
Il
ookatthebabyscanandsmil
eIknowthatmy
si
sterisl
ooki
ngoverusandt
hatsonwil
lmakei
tno
matterwhat
.
Igr
abmycarkey
sandheadoutdi
ali
ngZamo.
Herphonegoesunansweredtypi
cal
lyofZamoher
phoneisal
waysinherhandsbutyoudon’
tfi
ndher
whenevery
ouarelooki
ngforher.
Idr
ivest
rai
ghtt
othehospi
tal
andgett
heshockmy
l
i
fewhenIf
indt
hepl
acesur
rounded.
Ist
epoutoft
hecarandheadi
nsi
debutoneoft
he
pol
iceof
fi
cer
sst
opsme.
“
Sirnoonei
sal
l
owedt
ogeti
n”hesay
s.
Il
ookathi
shandsonmychestandr
aisemy
ey
ebrow.
Hesl
owl
ymov
est
hem asIcl
i
ckmy
sel
ftongue.
Iproceededt
omakemywayi
nsi
deandbumpi
ntoa
fewpoliceof
fi
cer
s.
DoctorTay
lorr
ushest
omef
oll
owedbyapol
i
ce
of
ficer
.
“Thi
sisMrPhakat
hwayohe’stheonewhohi r
edthe
guar
dstokeepwatchoverhi
sf i
ancé”shesays.
“
What
’sgoi
ngon”Iask.
Shedr
awsi
nherbr
eat
handl
etsi
tout
.
“Idon’
tknowwhathappenedev er
ythi
ngtookplace
sofast,
weheldatgunpoi
ntyourment ri
edthei
rbest
butthosepeopl
eweretomany ”shesays.
Ir
unt
owar
dsBay
ede’
sroom andf
indmymenont
he
f
loorcov
eredupi
nwhi
tesheet
s.
Ther
eseemst
ohav ebeenast
ruggl
eandBay
edei
s
nowher
etobeseen.
“
Wher
eisshe”Iaskl
ooki
ngatdoct
orTay
lor
.
“
Theyt
ookher
”shesay
s.
Ial
mostl
osemybal
anceuponhear
ingt
hat
.
“
Sirdoyouhav
eanyi deaastowhomi
ghthav
e
t
akenher”t
heoff
icerasks.
“
No”Isay
.
“Si
rwhywoul
dyouhav
epeopl
eguar
dherr
oom”he
asks.
It
urnar
oundandl
ookathi
m.
“Li
keIsaidoff
icerIdon’tknowanythingonceyou
aredonewithyourinvesti
gati
onpleasealer
tmesoI
canfetchmymen”Isayheadi ngf
ort hedoor.
If
eel
apanicatt
acknearbutr
emembermy
br
eat
hingt
echni
ques.
Igett
othecaranddr
inkabot
tl
eofwat
ergr
abbi
ng
myphone.
Aspr
edi
ctedanunknownnumbercomest
hrough.
“
IfyoutouchherIam goi
ngtoki
l
lyouShaka”Isay
maskingthef
earinmyv oi
ce.
Wit
hShakaany
thi
ngispossi
bleandIfearl
osi
ngher
somuchmyheartst
art
sbeati
ngfastwithmyhands
sweat
ing.
“Ngakut
shel
angat
hiIwil
ltakeherawayf
rom you”(
I
oncetol
dyouIwouldt
akeherawayf r
om you)he
sayscal
mly.
“
Iam war
ningy
ouShaka”Isay
.
“
Iwanty
outosuf
ferPhakat
hwayo,Iwanthertohate
y
ouanddespi
seyouti
ll
youkil
lyoursel
f”hesays.
“
Whatdoy
ouwant
”Iask.
“
Iwanty
out
oki
l
lyourment
or”hesay
s.
Myey
eswi
dennotMbomv
u.
“
What
”Isay
.
“Youhear
dmeIwanty outoki
llSomhhashi
orIwi
l
l
kil
lBay
edeyouchoose”hesay
sendingthecal
l
.
Iswal
l
owhar
dandl
ookatt
hephonehecan’
tbe
ser
ious.
Idial
Gambuandputhi
m onl
ouderspeakerst
art
ing
thecar.
“
Mhl
oni
shwa”hesay
s.
“
Iwantyoutr
ackdownShakaf
ormedowhat
everi
t
t
akestofi
ndhim”Isay
.

.
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
Bay
ede’
skeeper

#55

IthoughtIwasstr
ongbutt
odayhaspr
ovent
hatIam
farfr
om beingst
rong.
Icri
edsomuchmycri
esf
ell
ondeafear
sIendedup
begginghi
mtoki
l
lhi
m.
Iam t
iedtoachai
randther
e’sabucketofwat
erand
acl
oththat’
sbeenusedtochockme.
Onewrapst
heclothovermyheadandt
ight
ensit
whi
let
heotheronepourswat
erovermyhead.
Thesemenhavebeenlaughi
ngandmockingme
nowIunder
standwhatPhethi
lewentt
hrough.
Iam j
ustt
hankf
ult
heyhav
en’
ttouchedmybel
l
y.
Ikeeppr
ayi
ngt
hatNqubekof
indsusbef
orei
t’
stoo
l
ate.
Shakawalksi
nandpl
acesacamer
ainf
rontofme
set
tingi
tup.
“
Shakapl
easel
etmego”Ibeg.
Hewhist
lesandrol
l
suphi
ssl
eev
esl
ooki
ngatme
br
ushi
ngmybel l
y
“
Let
’spr
esspl
ayandshowDaddyt
hatIhav
eyour
mommy”hesays.
Hepr
essespl
ayandmov
escl
oseragai
n.
Hesl
apsmesohar
dIbi
temyl
i
pandhearsi
rensi
n
myear.
Hepunchesmeinthef
aceandcupsmychi
n
punchi
ngmeagain.
“
Let
’sdothi
sagainandmaybey
ourf
iancéwi
l
lmake
t
heri
ghtchoi
ce”hesays.
“
Whatchoi
ce”Iask.
“
Tochoosebet
weenandy
ourf
ather
”hesay
s.
Amanwalksi
nandstandsnextt
ohi
m,myoneey
e
shut
swhi
l
eIopentheotherone.
Ithi
nkIr
ecogni
zehi
m butIam t
odi
sor
ient
edt
obe
sure.
“
Iwanty
out
oki
l
lhi
m assoonashepul
l
sthet
ri
gger
putonei
nhi
mtoo,
Iwantt
oseeev
ery
thi
ng”Shaka
says.
“
Ngi
yakuzwa”(Iheary
ou)t
hemansay
s.
Shakamov
esbehi
ndmeandput
sapl
ast
icov
ermy
head.
Istr
uggletobreat
heandkicktr
yingtofr
eemyhands
buttheplast
icget
sti
ghterandti
ghterashe
str
anglesme.
.
.
Nqubeko

Idrov
estrai
ghtt
oMbomv u’
shouseandaskedto
dri
vearoundhi
m,Itookhi
mt othewarehousewher
e
Gambuwaswai ti
ngforus.
Wehavebeensit
ti
ngherehavingadri
nkIt
oldhim
t
hatBayedewastakenandthatIwoul
dgetherback.
Ial
readyhav
eaf
ewofmymanoutt
her
elooki
ngf
or
her
.
Ilookathim gul
phi
sdri
nkdownit’
shar
dbei
nga
fatherandri
ghtnowhe’
sst
ressed.
Thi
smanhasbeenaf
athert
omebui
l
tmei
ntot
he
manIam t
oday
.
Ihaveev
eryt
hingbecauseoft
hismanandnowI
havetomakeachoice.
Thehardestchoi
ceIhaveeverhadtomakei
nmy
enti
rel
i
fe,goingt
oprisonwasn’
tthi
shar
dbecauseI
knewIwoul dbeback.
ButifIdot
hist
hereisnotur
ningbacki
fIdot
hisI
wil
ll
osemyf amil
yforev
er.
“
Hegav
eyouanul
ti
mat
um di
dn’
the”hesay
s.
Inodmyheadandgul
pmydr
inkdown.
“
Whati
sit
”heasks.
Myphonev
ibr
atesbef
oreIcananswerhi
m.
Ihat
ethesesi
ckphonegameshepl
ays.
Iopent
hevideoandswall
owhardseei
ngBayede
bei
ngbeat
enandapl ast
icbagov
erherhead.
Tear
sfi
l
lmyey
esasshest
ruggl
est
obr
eat
he.
Ihav
enev erbeent
hispower
lessi
nmyent
ir
eli
feand
al
lbecauseofoneman.
IpassthephoneovertoSomahhashi
andwat
chas
tear
sfall
from hi
seyes.
Her
ubst
hem andsmi
l
esl
ooki
ngatme.
“
Iwon’
tdoi
tMbomv
u”Isay
.
“
Youcanandy
ouwi
l
ldoi
t”hesay
s.
“
Idon’
twantt
odoi
tBaba”Isay
.
“
Iknowbutshe’
smybabygi
rlandIwoul
dgi
vemy
l
i
feforher
”hesays.
Icl
enchmyj
awsandwi
pemyt
ear
s.
Myphoner
ingsandIcl
earmyt
hroatanswer
ingt
he
cal
l
.
“
Tickt
ock”Shakasay
s.
IshutmyeyeswhenIhearBay
edescr
eami
ngi
nthe
backgr
ound.
“Ihavetheguntoherst
omachandtrustmei
fyou
don’tki
llt
heoldmanIwill
kil
lBay
edeandthi
schi
l
d
she’scarr
ying.
Seeit
snol ongeraboutmysi
sterorfatherbutt
he
factt
hatIam disgust
edbymanl i
key ou,
manwho
thi
nktheyarebettert
hanany
oneel seinthi
swold.
Manwhothinktheyareuntouchablej
ustbecause
t
heyar
epower ful
,Iwanttoteachyoualessonthat
youwi
l
lneverforget”hesays.
Il
ookatSomahhashi
’
spul
louthi
sgunandbr
eat
he
heav
il
y.
“
Doi
t”Somahhashi
say
sgi
vi
ngmehi
sgun.

.
.

Shaka

Igetabucketofcol
dwaterandsplashitover
her,
shegaspsforai
ral
mosttippi
ngov ert
hechai
r.
Shesli
ght
lyopensherey
esandl
ooksatmeasI
squati
nfr
onther.
Imov
emyhandst
oherbr
eastandsqueezet
hem.
Shef
li
nchesandbi
tesherl
i
ps.
“
Ihav
easur
pri
sef
ory
ou”Isay
.
Ist
andandmov
eoutoft
heway
.
“
Nqubeko”shescr
eamsl
ooki
ngatt
hescr
een.
Idon’
tknowwhybutIhavet
hist
hri
l
lwhenev
erIsee
somethi
nggr
uesomeplayonscr
een.
Nqubekoi
spoi
nti
ngt
hegunatSomahhashi
.
Ifi
nall
ydidthi
sist
heendofSomahhashi
’
srei
gnand
thatofPhakat
hwayo’
sandi
tsal
lbecauseofme.
Iwil
lear
nmyplaceint
hisci
rcl
eofpower f
ulman,
I
wil
lbeknownasthemanwhobr oughtaboutt
hei
r
demise.
“
Nqubekodon’
tdoi
tpl
ease”shesay
slooki
ngatme.
“
Hecan’
ther
eyou”Isay
.
“Pl
easedon’
tdothist
ohim pl
easedon’
tmakehi
m
kil
lmyfat
her
,Iwi
l
l doany
thi
ng”sheshouts.
“
Shakapl
ease”shesay
s.
Shebegsandpl
eadsbi
tt
erl
ycr
ying.
“
Pleasedon’
tdot
hisIam beggi
ngy
ou”shesay
s.
Il
ookatherandtil
tmyheadnomat
terhowIl
ookat
heri
tshe’
sjustasbeaut
if
ul.
Al
oudbangbr
ingsmebackf
rom t
hought
s
It
urnl
ooki
ngatthescr
eenandseeSomahhashi
l
ayi
ngonthef
loor.
“
Baba”Shesay
s.
Herl
oudscr
eam f
il
lst
her
oom.
“
Wai
tnotj
usty
etwai
tfori
t”Isay
.
Anot
hershotandNqubekoi
sont
hef
loor
.
“Pha.
..phaka.
.noi
tcan’
tbe”shesay
sshaki
ngher
head.
Gambuwal
ksov
ert
othespycamer
aandswi
tchesi
t
of
f.
Acal
lcomest
hroughandIqui
ckl
yanswert
hecal
l
.
“
Gambu”Isay
.
“
It
’sdone”hesay
s.
Ideepl
ysi
ghasr
eli
efwashesov
erme.
“
Getoutoft
her
enow”Isay
.
“
Yessi
r”hesay
s.
Iendt
hecal
landl
ookatBay
edecr
yingherl
ungsout
.
Ir
eachf
ort
het
aserandshockheri
ntheneck.
“
BabaIdi
dit
”Isay
.

.
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
Bay
ede’
skeeper

#56

“
Issheal
i
ve”asof
tvoi
ceemanat
es
It
ryopeni
ngupey
esbutt
heyhur
tsobad.
“Pl
easedon’tyoumi ghthurty
ourselfevenmorewe
call
edanambul ance”anothervoicedif
ferentf
rom
thelastone.
“
Baba”Isay
.
“
Shhhhev
ery
t hi
ngi
sgoi
ngt
obeokayj
usthol
don”
t
hevoi
cesays.
“Hearthatt
hat’
stheambulance”Iheart
hesirens
nearerandwishIcoul
dtakemyl astbr
eath.

Iwakeuptothebeepi
ngmachi
neandr
unmyhands
tomybell
y.
Iopenmyswol
l
eney
esandl
ookar
oundt
hehospi
tal
r
oom,Il
ookatt
hei
vonmyar
m andy
ankt
hebl
oody
t
hingof
f.
“
Ouch”Isayatt
hest
ingi
ngsensat
ion.
Ipul
lthel
ightbl
anket
sandstepoutofthebed,
I
real
i
zeIam notstr
ongenoughtowalksoIholdon
thebedandotherobj
ect
smakingmywayt othe
door.
Ihol
dthehandl
eandopenthedoort
omysur
pri
se
ther
eisafewpeopl
eoutsi
demydoor.
Ial
mostdr
opt
othef
loorbutanursecomest
omy
ai
dandhel
psmeupclosi
ngthedoor.
“Iwantt
ogohomeIneedt
oseemyf
ather
,Ineedt
o
seemyNqubeko”Isay
.
“Mam pl
easey
ouneedt
ogetbackt
oyourbed”t
he
nur
sesays.
Ipushherbackandmakeforthedoorbutshe
quickl
ygett
oitandopenscal
l
ingforanothernur
se.
“
Ijustwantt
ogohome”Isay
.
“
Weunder
standyourf
rustr
ati
onandconfusi
onbut
y
ouneedt
obei nbed“theothernur
sesays.
“
Youdon’
tunder
stand”Isay
.
Thebothlookatmet
heot
heronehol
dingan
i
nject
ion.
“Weunderstandperf
ectl
ywel
lyouar
escaredbut
youaresafenownot hi
ngwi
ll
happentoyouoryour
baby”t
henur sesay
s.
“Ngi
funaubab’
wami pl
easeIj
ustwantt
ogohome
andseehim”Isaycalmly
.
“Okayyouwil
lbutfornowpleasegetiny
ourbedyou
needtorest
”thenursehol
dingtheinj
ect
ionsay
s.
Inodmyheadget
ti
ngbackt
omybed.
“
Thi
swi
l
lhel
pyou”shesay
sinj
ect
ingme.
Thewhi
tecei
l
ingdi
sappear
sasIf
all
int
odeepsl
eep.

Idr
if
tbackandf or
thbet
weenr
eal
i
tyand
hal
l
ucinat
ions.
Myheadhur
tsmyey
eshurtIf
eel
ahandsqueeze
mi
neandfor
cemyeyest
oopen.
“
Nqubeko”Isay
.
“
Hey
”Il
ookatNet
haandsmi
l
e.
“
Whendi
dyougether
e”Iaskl
ooki
ngar
ound.
Hef
aint
lysmi
l
esandj
ustl
ooksatme.
“
Am dr
eami
ng”Iask.
“
Noy
ouar
eawake”hesay
s.
“
Iam t
hir
sty
”Isay
.
Hequi
ckl
ynodsandpour
smesomewat
er.
Hehel
psmesi
tupst
rai
ghtandhel
psmehol
dthe
gl
ass.
“
Easy
”hesay
staki
ngt
hegl
assaway
.
Iswal
l
owandbr
eat
hel
ooki
ngathi
m.
“
Iwast
aken”Isay
.
“
Iknow”hesay
sdeepl
ysi
ghi
ng.
“AndIsawNqubekoshootbabaandanot
herman
shoothi
m”Isay.
Henodshi
sheadandcl
enchedhi
sjawssni
ff
ing.
Het
akesoutapi
ctur
efr
om hi
sjacketandshowsi
t
t
ome.
“
Ist
hist
hemany
ousaw”heasks.
Il
ookatt
hepi
ctur
eper
fect
lyandnod.
Hedeepl
ysi
ghsandbl
i
nkshi
stear
saway
.
“
Net
hawhat
’sgoi
ngon”Iask.
ThedooropensandMamawal
ksi
nfol
l
owedby
Thando.
“
Hey
”Thandosay
s.
“
Iwi
l
lbeout
side”Net
hasay
sst
andi
ngup,
Heshut
sthedoorbehi
ndhi
m andMamal
ooksaat
me.
“
Ispoket
othenurseever
ythi
ngi
sfi
net
hebabyi
s
f
inesowecantakeyouhome”Mamasays.
Inodmyhead.
“
Iknowy ouhavealotofquesti
onbutremember
whatthedoctorsai
daboutstr
essi
ng”Shesays
t
akingouttr
acksuitsf
rom t
hebag.
“
Iwantt
oseeNqubekoandmyf
ather
”Isay
.
“
Andy
ouwi
l
lseet
hem”Mamasay
s.
Il
ookatThandoandshef
aint
lysmi
l
es.
Ichangefr
om t
hehospi
tal
gownandweart
he
tr
acksui
ts.
Nethawalksbacki
nandhel
psmeont
othe
wheelchai
r.
Iam wheel
edt
othecarandt
hef
ronti
sfi
l
ledwi
th
repor
ter
s.
“
Arewegoi
nghome”Iask.
“Nowearegoi
ngtot
hehospi
tal
”Mamasay
s
hol
dingmyhand.
Il
aymyheadbackandr
estmyheadbr
ushi
ngmy
bel
ly
.
Atleastweareheadedt
othehospi
tal
andmyf
ather
togetherwi
thNqubekoaref
ine.
Thecarst
opsout
sidet
hesamehospi
tal
Iwas
abduct
edat.
Weal
lst
epoutoft
heactandwal
kinsi
de.
Net
hapassesbyrecept
ionhet
hencomesbackt
o
usandl
eadstheway.
Wemakeourwayt otheint
ensi
veuni
tcar
e,myhear
t
beat
sfastwi
theachstepwetake.
“
Wecan’
tgoi
nhe’
stoocr
it
ical
”Net
hasay
s.
Iwat
cht
hrought
hewi
ndowandseemyf
ather
.
It
urnandgi
vemamaahug.
“
He’
sali
vesi
sit
hat
’sal
lmat
ter
s”shesay
swi
pingmy
t
ear
s.
Ibreakdownandhol
dhert
ightcomi
ngIwaspr
ayi
ng
forthem.
“
Wher
eisNqubekoIneedt
oseehi
mtoo”Isay
.
Nethast
andbehi
ndsmeasIam weakt
ost
and
pr
operl
y.
“
Yey
eNqubekodi
dn’
tmakei
t”mamasay
s.
Ishakemyheadandhol
dont
oNet
ha.
“
Nobabai
sal
i
vemeani
ngNqubekoi
sal
i
vet
oo”Isay
.
Sheshakesherheadt
ear
sfi
l
li
ngherey
es.
“WhenNethagott
her
eitwast
ool
atehewasal
ready
gone”shesay
s.
“
Hay
iyoumustbemi
staken”Isay
.
Thandowi
peshert
ear
sandmyhear
tsi
nks.
“Hesaidhewouldn’
tgoi
ngany
wher
esoIdon’
t
bel
iev
ey ou”Isay
.
“
Iwantt
oseehi
m”Isay
.
“
Bay
ede”Net
hasay
s.
“
Iwantt
oseehi
m”Ishout
.
Henodshi
sheadandmamawal
ksmedownt
he
cor
ri
dor
.
“
Hewast
akent
othemor
gue”mamasay
s.
“
Stopsay
ingt
hatNqubekoi
snotdead”Isay
.
Mymout
hsaysonethi
ngbutmyf
eetkeepdr
aggi
ng
met
othehospi
tal
morgue.
Wegetusher
edi
nandt
hepl
acer
eeksofdeat
h.
Itf
eel
sli
keIam i
nsomehor
rormov
ieandIam not
aboutt
owakeupanyt
imesoon.
Mamahol dsmyhandast
heyuncov
erNqubeko’
s
l
if
elessbody.
“
No”Isay
.
Myli
psqui
verast
heyshowmet
hebul
l
etwound
t
hatt
ookhisl
if
e.
“
Why
”Iask.
“
Iam sor
rysi
si”mamasay
s.
“Nqubekowhywoul
dyoudothi
stous”mythr
oat
clogsupasl
umpsformsar
oundmythroat
.
“Phakathway
opleasedon’
tdot
hist
ome,
Iam
beggingyouwakeup.
Ican’
trai
sehi
m al
onepl
ease”Theycov
erhi
m up.
“
Mamano.
..
..
no.
.hecan’
tleav
eme”Isay
.
Shehol
dsmeti
ghtandsl
owswal
ksmeoutbutmy
l
egsfai
lme.
“
It
’st
oomuchIcan’
ttakeany
mor
emama”Isay
.
Ihol
dmychestandstr
ugglet
obr
eatheitf
eel
sli
kea
pani
cat
tackbutwaysever
eandt
ir
ing.
“
Bay
edest
aywi
thmedon’
tdot
his”Mamasay
s.
“
Hel
psomebodyhel
pmydaught
ercan’
tbr
eat
he”
shesay
sshout
ing.

.
..
..
..
..
..
.
Sponsor
ed
Bay
ede’
skeeper

#57

I
tfeel
sli
keIhavebeencutopenandl
aidbar
efort
he
wholeworl
dtosee.
Thenewspeoplehav
ebeenati
tannounci
ngt
hat
Phakat
hwayoisnomore.
I
t’
shardtobel
ievebuthe’
sreal
l
ygoneandIwi
l
l
nev
erseehim agai
n.
Il
ookatmygrowi
ngbell
yandfai
ntl
ysmile,
Idon’
t
knowhowthi
sbabykeepssur
viv
ingbutherei
sis
al
iveandwel
l
.
Thedoct
orsai
dwear
eindest
ressandt
hathecan’
t
l
etusgohome.
Iam beenhospi
tal
i
zedf
ort
woweeksnowbuti
t
feel
sli
kealif
eti
me.
Ihavebeendr
eami
ngaboutNqubekoandeacht
ime
Iwakethesmil
eonmyfacedi
sappear
s.
Myfather
’scondi
ti
onisbet
ternowbuthehasn’
t
wokenup,Idr
eadthedayhewakesupandfindsout
t
hatNqubekoisdead.
Iam conf
usedandhur
tIdon’
tunder
standwhyt
hese
thi
ngshappentome.
Idon’
tunderst
andwhyev
ery
thi
nghast
obet
aken
awayfrom me.
Myfamilyhasbeencomingandgoi
ngt
ell
i
ngmet
hat
ev
eryt
hingisokaybutIdoubti
t.
ThedooropensandLiam wal
ksinIhav
en’
tseenhi
m
i
nalongwhileandseeinghi
m nowmakesme
emoti
onal
.
Hecl
osest
hedoorandmov
escl
oser
.
“
Iam sor
ry”hesay
sgi
vi
ngmeahug.
Ibr
eakdowni
nhi
sar
msandhol
dhi
m.
“
He’
sgoneLi
am”It
ell
him.
“
IknowandIam sor
ry”hesay
ssof
tl
y.
“Howam Isupposedt
omov
eonwhenhe’
sgone”I
ask.
“
Byt
aki
ngi
tonest
epatt
het
ime”
hesay
s.
“Iknowi
thur
tsbuty
ouhav
etot
hinkaboutt
hebaby
”
hesays.
Ipul
lawayandl
ookathi
m.
“He’
sgoingt
ogrowupwithafat
hermysonisgoi
ng
togrowupandhewil
lnev
ergettoknowhi
sfat
her”I
say.
Hewi
pesmyt
ear
sandl
ooksi
ntomyey
es.
“Iam her
efory
ouBay
edeIhav
eal
way
sbeen”he
says.
Inodmyheadandmov
eback.
“ThankyoubutIwantNqubekoback,
Ineedhi
m back
becauseIdon’
tthi
nkIcandothi
swi t
houthi
m”Isay.
“Iwi
shIcouldtakeawayy
ourpai
nbutIcan’
tandI
am sor
ry”hesays.
“
Ithur
tsLi
am sobad”Isay
.
Hehol
dsmecl
oseasIcr
yinhi
sar
ms.
Hepull
sawayandwi
pesmyt
ear
ssmi
l
ingt
hrough
hi
sglossyey
es.
“WhenIfi
rstmetyou,y
ouwer
ejustayounggi
rlt
hat
neededheal
ingandtr
ustmeyouhavecometofart
o
breakdownnow.
Iknowit’
shardandthati
fhur
tsdeepi
nsi
deyoubut
youneedtobestrongnotj
ustfory
oubutf
orthi
s
babythatyoucar
ryi
ng.
Idon’
tknowwhybadthingshappenst
ogoodpeopl
e
butyouwil
lov
ercomethisIknowyouwil
l
”hesays.
“
Youareoneofthestr
ongestpeopl
eIknowhol
dto
t
hatbecauset
hischi
l
dwillneedyou”hesay
s.
Inodmyheadbutt
rut
hbet
oldst
ayi
ngst
rongi
shar
d.
“Iwil
lal
wayslovey
ouandIwil
lalway
scomewhen
youneedme,IknowIcannev
erbewithy
oubutIwi
l
l
alwaysbeher
enomat t
erwhat.
I
fyouneedmetohol
dy ourhandthr
ought
his
j
ourneyt
henIwi
l
lbecauseIwoulddoanyt
hingf
or
y
ou”hesays.
“
Thanky
ou”Isay
.
Henodsanddeepl
ysi
ghst
aki
ngaseatnextt
ome.
“
It
’sokayy
oucansl
eepIwi
l
lber
ighther
e”hesay
s.
Hehol
dsmyhandandl
etsmer
est
.
He’
salway
sbeenanamazi
ngmanbutmyhear
thas
al
waysbel
ongedt
oNqubeko.

Ifel
lasl
eepandwokeuptot henur
sesbri
ngi
ngme
food,
Iwastol
dthatLi
am l
eftbutpr
omisedhewoul
d
beback.
Theseladi
eshavebeensoki
ndgoi
ngbey
ondt
hei
r
requi
redwork.
Theyhaven’
taskedmeanyquesti
onsaboutmy
fat
herorNqubekoseei
ngt
hattheyhavethet
alkof
thetown.
Nur
sePopiwal
ksinandsmil
esshe’
sbeenhel
ping
mecopesi
nceIhavebeenher
e.
Ical
lhermyper
sonalnur
seshe’
ski
ndand
ever
ythi
ngt
hatanurseshoul
dbeandmor
e.
“
Ihav
easur
pri
sef
ory
ou”shesay
s.
Il
ookatherandsi
tupst
rai
ghtsmi
l
ing.
Thedooropensandmyf
atherwal
ksi
nfol
l
owedby
mamaandNqubeko’
smot
her
.
She’
sbeenhereforthewhol
etwoweeksput
ti
ngof
f
Nqubeko’
sfuner
alformyfat
her’
ssake.
“
Iwi
l
lleav
eyoual
one”Nur
sePopi
say
s.
“BabaNqubekoungi
shi
yi
le”(
DadNqubekol
eftme)I
say.
Ihol
dmyt
ear
sbutt
heypr
ickmyey
esandf
all
.
“
Iknowbaby
”hesay
shol
dingme.
Ibr
eakdownandsobbi
tt
erl
y.
“
Baba”Isay
.
Hehol
dsmetightsoti
ghtIf
eel
myhear
tatpeace
knowi
ngt
hathe’sal
iv
e.
ButwhataboutmyNqubekocoul
dn’
tGodspar
ehi
s
l
if
etoocouldn’
thesav
ehimjustt
hisonce.
“
Leti
tal
lout
”hesay
ssof
tl
y.
Idon’
thol
dbackandcr
yfort
hemanIl
ove.
Justl
ikethathe’
sgoneandt
her
e’snot
hingIcando
aboutit
.
“
Howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng”Babaasks.
“
Ithur
ts”Isay
.
Henodshi
shead.
“Iam sosorr
ythi
sisal
lmyfaul
thadInott
oldhi
mto
kil
lthatmanwewouldn’
tbeher
e”hesays.
“Imisshim babaandIdon’twantt
obel
i
evet
hathe’
s
gone,angi
funibaba”Isay
.
“
Itokay
”hesay
scal
mly
.
Il
ookatNqubeko’
smot herandbi
temyl
iphadher
sonnott
akenthefal
lformewewouldn’
tbeher
e.
Nqubekohasal
way
sbeenmykeeperandnowhe’
s
gone.
Myl
ovei
sgoneandi
thur
tsl
i
kehel
l
.
“
Yey
e”shesay
slooki
ngatme.
“
Ma”Isay
.
Shecl
ear
shert
hroat
.
“
Tomor
rowwear
ebur
yinghi
m”hi
smot
hersay
s.
Inodmyheadandl
ookdown.
“
Yourf
atheri
sawakenowsowel
ayi
nghi
mtor
est
t
omorr
ow”shesays.
Rest,
thewordechoesandmyhear
tachessobadI
wishthosepeopl
ehadn’tf
oundmebythesi
deoft
he
road.
“
Iwashopi
ngt
haty
ouwoul
dbet
her
e”shesay
s.
IshakemyheadIcan’
tsaygoodby
etohi
m.
“
Bay
ede”Mamasay
ssof
tl
y.
“Youdon’tunderst
andmamahewasn’tsupposedt
o
dieandIcan’tsaygoodby
eithur
tsandIdon’
twant
toseehiscoffi
ngodown”Isay.
“Weunder
standsi
sii
t’
sokay
”Nqubeko’
smot
her
say
s.
“
He’
sgonebabaPhakat
hway
oisgone”Isay
.
Hecl
ear
shi
sthr
oatandwi
peshi
stear
s.

.
..
..
..
..
..
.
Bay
ede’
skeeper

#58

I
t’
sbeenov eramont
hnowandIam st
il
lrawabout
Nqubeko’
sdeath.
Idon’
tknowifIam comi
ngorgoi
ngbutli
feseems
tobegoingonwhil
eIam st
il
lhol
dingont
othemanI
l
ost.
Hi
smot herdeci
dedt
osti
ckaroundshement
ioned
want
ingtobecloset
othehergrandson.
Alt
houghmyfamil
yisoffer
ingal
lthei
rsuppor
tbut
thetr
uthi
sitwon’
tbethesame.
Mysoni sgoi
ngt
ogrowupwit
houthi
sfat
herwho
happenedtobet
hemostamazi
ngmanIhaveever
known.
Forsomer
easonitseemsliketheShakai
ssuedi
ed
downandever
yoneforgotabouttheman.
Asf
orGambunotonl
ydi
dhebet
rayNqubekobuthe
al
sof
ledt
hecount
ry.
Iam angr
ythathi
ski
ll
ersar
eoutther
eandmyf
ather
i
sdoingnothi
ngaboutthemat
ter
.
Bandi
l
eandThandomov
edoutoft
hehouse.
Witht
hebabyduetheyneededthei
rownspaceand
babapromi
sedthatnot
hingwouldhappent
othem.
Li
keIsaidli
feseemst
obegoi
ngasi
fnot
hing
happened.

If
ixmydr
essandgr
abmypurseheadingoutZamo
i
staki
ngmetomydoct
orsappoi
ntment.
MysisterhasbeensoamazingIdon’
tthi
nkIwoul
d
behereifitwasn’
tforher
.
Ij
oinmyfat
herinthegar
denandwat
chasheplaces
hi
snewspaperdownandtakesof
fhi
sreadi
ng
gl
asses.
“
Sthandwasam”hesay
ssmi
l
ing.
“
Baba”Isay
.
“
How’
smygr
andsondoi
ng”heasks.
“
He’
sdoi
nggood”Isay
.
Ihavebeencomingal
onggreatwit
ht hepr
egnancy
al
thoughIhavebeenanxi
ousaboutthebaby.
“
Howar
eyouf
eel
i
ng”heasks.
“
Iam goodbaba”Isay
.
“
YouhavecomealongwayYey
eandIam pr
oudof
y
ou”hesaysbeami
ng.
If
orceasmi
l
eandnod.
“Babathankyouforev
eryt
hingthatyoudi
d.Inow
knowt hatmysist
eri
srest
inginpeaceandnowshe
belongs”Isay
.
Hesmi
l
espr
oudl
yandswal
l
ows.
Aweekagowewer eexhumi
ngKhet
hiwe’
sbodyone
oft
hehar
destt
hingswedidasafamil
y.
Babawantedt
olayhert
oresti
nthel
andofher
ancest
ors.
Imustsayweallgott
heheal
i
ngandcl
osur
ewe
neededfr
om herdeat
h.
Babacr
iedsomuchnotment
ionZamoapar
tofher
wasbur
iedandi
thur
t.
Thetr
ipwaslongover
duet houghIfacedapar
tof
mypastthatIhadbur
ied,
Ifacedafewdemonsand
conf
ront
edthem.
I
t’
sashamethoughwegott
her
eandVumi
l
etol
dus
t
hatMart
hadi
edinthef
ir
e.
Apparentl
yshewasoutandMar t
hawasal oneinthe
housenoonesawany thi
ngandthef i
recameoutof
nowher e,
nei
ghborscouldhearherscreamingand
shouti
ngforhelpbuttheycoul
dn’thel
pbecauseof
thehugeflames.
“Yourmot herandIwer
ethi
nki
ngofrenewingour
vowsandhav eaweddi
ngandwewoul dli
keitify
ou
andy oursist
erbecomeourbr
idesmai
ds”hesays.
Il
aught
hrowi
ngmyheadback.
“
Shouldn’tmamabet
alki
ngt
omeaboutsuch
t
hings”Iask.
Hechuckl
es.
“YourmotherandIdi
scussedi
tandIt
houghtI
shouldmenti
onittoy
ou”hesayssmil
ing.
“
Iwouldl
ovet
obeoneofyourbr
idesmaidsand
wi
tnessy
oudecl
arey
ourl
oveagain”Isay.
“
Thanky
ou”hesay
ssmi
l
ing.
“
Bay
ede”Zamoshout
s.
“
Iam comi
ng”Isay
.
Isl
owl
ygetonmyf
eet
.
“
Iam sor
ryt
hatIcoul
dn’
tsav
ehi
m”Babasay
s.
“
It
’sokaybaba”Isaywal
ki
ngaway
.
If
indZamohol
dingherwai
stt
appi
ngherf
eet
.
“
Andt
hen”Iask.
“
Ihav
ebeenwai
ti
ngf
ory
ou”shesay
s.
Ishootheral
ookandshakemyhead.
“Lat
elyy
ouhav
ebeengr
umpywhat
’sy
ourpr
obl
em”I
ask.
Webot
hgeti
nthecarandshef
ast
ensherseat
bel
t.
Shest
art
sthecardr
ivi
ngout
.
“
Zamo”Isay
.
Shet
urnsandl
ooksatmeandbl
i
nkshert
ear
saway
.
“
Whatdi
dhedo”Iask.
Hermanhasbeennot
hingbutapai
nint
hear
se.
Thatmanhasbeencheat
ingonmysi
sterf
ort
he
l
ongestt
ime.
“
It
’snot
hingIcan’
thandl
e”shesay
s.
“
Didhecheatony
ouagai
n”Iask.
Shenodsherheadandhert
ear
sfal
l
.
“
Stopt
hecar
”Isay
.
Shel
ooksatmeshocked.
“
Zamost
opt
hecar
”Isay
.
Shest
opst
hecarandwi
peshert
ear
s.
“
Youarebeaut
iful
andtrustmey
ouar
eenought
hat
mandoesn’
tdeservey
ou.
Babawoul
dhav
eaf
itseei
ngy
oul
i
ket
his”Isay
.
Shedeepl
ysi
ghsandchuckl
es.
“
Youar
eri
ghtIdeser
vebet
ter
”shesay
s.
Ismi
leandst
epoutoft
hecarwal
ki
ngov
ert
oher
si
de.
“
GetoutIam dr
ivi
ng”Isay
.
Shehesitant
lyst
epsoutoft
hecarandwal
ksov
ert
o
thepassengerseatwhi
l
eItaket
hewheel
.
Iadjustt
heseatandst
artt
hecardr
ivi
ngt
oSi
zwe’
s
place.
“
Hay
iBay
edewhatar
eyoudoi
ngher
e”sheasks.
“
Wear
egoi
ngt
ofi
xSi
zwe”Isay
.
“Iknowyouhavehiskeysi
nthebagbr
ingt
hem”I
saysteppi
ngoutofthecar
.
Imakemywayt
ohi
sapar
tmentandwai
tforhert
o
showup.
Sher
eluct
ant
lyopenst
hedoorandwemakeourway
i
n.
Thepl
acei
scl
eanandi
tsmel
l
sfr
esh.
“Whatdoyouwantust
odof
ir
st”Iaskset
tl
ingdown
onthecouch.
Sheshr
ugshershoul
der
s.
Ishakemyheadanddeepl
ysi
gh.
“
Ther
e’soi
li
nthebootgogeti
t”
Isay
.
Shest
epsoutandcomesbackwi
tht
heoi
l
.
“
Doy
ouguy
shav
eanyf
ood”Iask.
“
Bay
edewedi
dn’
tcomeher
etoeat
”shesay
s.
“
Ist
her
efoodi
nthi
shouseornot
”Iask.
Shel
ooksatmeandf
oldsherar
ms.
Il
ookatherandsmilest
andi
ngupfr
om thecouch,
I
walkov
ertothefr
idgeandgr
abthet
rayofeggsand
dr
opit.
“
Bay
ede”Zamosay
s.
“
Acci
dentsor
ry”Isaygoi
ngt
hrought
hef
ri
dge.
Ther
ear
emeatpl
att
ersandbeer
sint
hef
ri
dge.
“
Ishepl
anni
ngapar
ty”Iask.
“Nojustagamebet
weenhi
m andhi
sfr
iends”she
says.
“
Okay
”Isay
.
Igr
abt
hepl
att
ersandpl
acet
hem ont
heki
tchen
count
erandst
arteat
ing.
Shel
ooksatmel
i
keIam cr
azy
.
“
Dlana”(
eat
)Isay
.
“
Iam nothungr
y”shesay
s.
“Okayt
hensui
tyour
sel
f”Isayshr
uggi
ngmy
shoul
ders.
Istandupandtakesomeofthedishwashingli
quid
andpourital
lovert
hepl
atter
ssti
llholdi
ngone
drumsti
ckandheadtocouchgrabbingtheremote.
It
urnonthetvandputont
hemusi
cchannel
put
ti
ng
myfeetonthetabl
e.
“
Ipr
omi
sei
fyoudot
hisy
ouwi
l
lfi
l
lbet
ter
”Isay
.
I
ttakesawhil
ebutshestar
tst
rashi
ngt
heki
tchen
br
eakingSi
zwe’sbeer
s.
Ist
eal
somegl
ancesandl
augh.
“That
’smygirl
whenyouaredoneinthekit
chengo
forhi
sclot
hes,
bri
ngal
ltheexpensi
vesneaker
sand
stuf
f”Isay
.
Shel
aughsandst
art
sthr
owi
ngt
hef
oodont
hef
loor
“
Justdon’
tthr
owawayt
hecel
eryst
icks”Isay
.
Shesmilesandpassesmet
hecel
eryst
icksand
peanutbutt
er.
Shemakesherwayt
othebedr
oom anddoesher
thi
ng.
Shecomesbackcar
ryi
ngapi
l
eoft
orncl
othesand
shoes.
“Thesearehismostexpensivepai
rofsneaker
s”she
saysplacingt
hem i
nsidethesinkandpours
domest osandji
cksoaki
ngt hem.
Shet
akesthegreaseoi
landstar
tspour
ingi
tal
lthe
pl
aceevenonthetvandclot
hes.
Shegetsthedomest
osandpour
sital
lov
ert
he
cl
othes.
Il
ookatherandsmi
l
eli
keapr
oudaunt
.
Shefi
nal
lyset
tl
esnextt
omeandt akesthecel
ery
st
ickdi
ppingt
hem i
nthepeanutbut
ter
.
“
Feel
i
ngbet
ter
”Iask.
Shel
aughsandnodsherhead.
“I
twon’tchancethathe’
sacheatbutIf
eel
alot
bett
er”shesays.
“
Weneedt
odoonemor
ethi
ng”Isay
.
“
What
”sheasks.
Iwal
kov ert
otheki
tchenandlocatet
hemaizemeal
aswell
asr i
ceandf
lourspi
ll
i
ngt hem ont
hefl
oor
.
“Woahnott
hat
”Isayst
opi
ngherf
rom wast
ingt
he
Oros.
“Iam t
alki
ngthatwi
thmengekenj
esi
dlal
enge
Oros”Isay.
Shel
aughsoutl
oudandhol
dst
heOr
oscl
ose.
“
Ithi
nkweshoul
dgonow”Shesay
s.
Weheadf
ort
hedoorandbumpi
ntoSi
zwe.
Zamopusheshi
m outoft
hewayandwemakear
un
fori
t.
Zamotr
ipsanddr
opsmyOros,
Ifol
l
owbehi
ndand
pi
cki
tuprunni
ngtot
hecar
.
“
Zamo”Si
zweshout
sbehi
ndus.
Igeti
nthecarandZamospeedsof
f.

Wewerelat
ef ormydoctor
sappoi
ntmentbutat
l
eastwegotthroughi
tthenwentf
oricecr
eam.
Zamopar
ksi
nthecari
nthedr
ivewayandwebot
h
st
epout
.
Il
ookatherandsmil
etodaywasamazi
ngIhadf
un
tr
ashi
ngSizwe’
shouse.
“Ihadf
unt
odayt
hanky
ouf
ort
hei
cecr
eam dat
e”I
say.
“Ishoul
dbethankyoual
thoughitwon’
tmakethe
paingoawaybutIsuref
eelbett
er”shesay
s.
Webothmakeourwayi
nsi
det
hehouseandi
ntot
he
l
iv
ingr
oom.
Babal
ooksatusandcl
ear
shi
sthr
oat
.
“
Nababab’
phoyi
sabat
hat
he”(
her
etheyar
eof
fi
cer
t
aket
hem)hesays.
Thehandsomepol
iceof
fi
cerst
andsupwi
thhi
s
col
leaguef
aci
ngus.
Il
ookatt
hedoort
henZamosur
elywecanr
unagai
n.
“
Yeydon’
tyoudar
e”Babasay
s.
“
Bat
hat
heni
”(
taket
hem)hesay
scal
mly
.
“
Babawedi
dn’
tdoany
thi
ng”Zamosay
s.
“
Soyoudidn’
tgotoSi
zwe’
sapar
tmentandv
andal
i
se
t
hepl
ace”heasks.
“
No”Il
i
e.
“Ohsonotonl
yar
eyoucr
imi
nal
sbutl
i
arst
oo”Baba
says.
“
Hedeser
vedi
tbutwear
esor
ry”Zamosay
ssof
tl
y.
“
Hedeser
vesi
t”Babaasks.
Webot
hnod.
“Ther
eyouhav
eitof
fi
cer
staket
hem”hesay
s
adamantl
y.
“
ButbabaIam pr
egnant
”Isay
.
“Andyourchi
l
dwi l
lknowyouareacri
minalt
hat
goesaroundvandal
izi
ngpeopl
e’
shouse’
s”hesays
“
Ladi
esl
et’
sgo”Theof
fi
cersay
slooki
ngatZamo.
“Mbomvut
heki
dsar
esor
ry”Mamasay
slooki
ngat
baba.
Wegetusher
edt
othecar
.
“
Iam t
oopr
ett
yforj
ail
”Zamosay
s.
Thehandsomeof
fi
cercr
acksup.
“I
t’
snotaboutbei
ngprett
yit
’saboutwhatcr
imey
ou
di
dandy outwoareseri
ouscri
minalsy
ouevenst
ole
hi
sOros”hesays.
It
ryt
ohol
dmyl aughbutcr
ackupt
oot
hinki
ngabout
myOrosi
nthecar.
Themant
urnsandl
ooksatZamo.
“
Youar
ebeaut
if
ul”Zamobl
ushesandl
ooksdown.
“
CanIhav
eyournumber
syouOr
ost
hief
”hesay
s.
Ismilel
ooki
ngatZamobl
ushandf
orgetwear
eina
pickl
e.

.
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
.
Sponsor
ed
Bay
ede’
skeeper

#59

I
t’
sbeenweekssincet
hej
ail
scar
eZamoandIhav
e
beenbehav
ing.
Isti
l
lcan’
tbeli
evet
hatbabawaswi l
l
ingtol
etus
spendanighti
nJailhadi
tnotbeenformamawe
wouldhavespentt
henighti
npri
soncell
s.
Themanwant edustopayfort
eachi
ngt
hatpr
icka
l
essonIst
il
lcan’tbel
i
evei
t.
Somehowv andal
i
singSi
zwe’
spl
acebr
oughtabout
goodt
hings.
Zamoisver
ymuchint
hehoneymoonfaceshe’
sst
il
l
get
ti
ngtoknowI
saacbutshe’
sinl
ove.
Iknowmysi st
erandtr
ustmeshe’shookedont
he
off
icernott
hatIbl
ameherthoughthemanis
handsomeandwel l
mannered.
Wel
lexceptf
orcal
l
ingmychi
l
dli
tt
leOr
ost
hieft
he
namehasst
ucki
tseemst
osl
i
poutofev
ery
one’
s
l
ips.
ZamoandI saachavebeenspendi
ngal otofti
me
toget
herandIam happythatshedi
tchedSizwe.
Forthef
ir
stti
meinalongwhi
l
eshedecidedt
o
chooseher
sel
fanddowhatmakesherhappy
.

Ihav
ebeenr unni
ngaroundt
heki
tchennotsur
e
whatIam doingexact
ly.
ButIhav
ebeenavoi
dingthi
smanout si
de,
howon
ear
thdoesheexpl
ainbei
ngawayf orsol
ongand
makingmebel
ievet
hathe’sdead.
Ifeel
cheat
edandmyangerkeepsr
isi
ngt
hemor
eI
thi
nkabouthi
m decei
vi
ngme.
HowcanNqubekodot
hist
ousi
t’
snotf
aironmeor
mychi
ld.
Babawalksi
nandlooksatmehe’sbeentryi
ngto
convi
ncemetofor
giveNqubekobutIam nothavi
ng
i
t.
Heshowedupaf
ewday
sagoandIcoul
dn’
tbel
i
eve
myey es,Icr
iedsomuchhappythathe’
sal
i
v ebut
thenIcouldn’tbr
ingmy
sel
ftoforgi
vehimforst
ayi
ng
awayf orsolong.
Howdoesheexpectmetobef
inewi
thev
ery
thi
ng
andf
orgetaboutmypai
n.
Iam car
ryi
nghi
schi
l
dforgodsakehowcanhedo
thi
stome.
“
Bay
ede”Babasay
ssof
tl
y.
Iwi
pemyhandscl
eanandl
ookathi
m.
“
Baba”Isay
.
Hedeepl
ysi
ghsandcl
ear
shi
sthr
oat
.
“
Youneedt
ofor
giv
ehi
m Bay
ede”hesay
s.
Ofcour
sebabawoul
dsayt
hathel
ovesNqubeko.
Ever
yoneisjusthappyt
hathe’
sbackIam t
heonl
y
oneinasull
enmood.
Him andNet
hahavebeennaggingaboutNqubeko
andgivi
nghi
m anot
herchance.
ButIdon’
tthi
nkIcanbewithamanwhocanst ay
awayfrom hi
spr
egnantf
iancéandnotseeany
thi
ng
wr
ong.
Yeshecl
aimstohavebeenprot
ect
ingmebutIam
nott
her
eyetthef
orgiv
ingst
age.
“BabaNqubekof
akedhi
sdeathandmademe
beli
evet
hathewasgonefor
ever
”Isay
.
“Iknowbuthewasdoingitt
oprot
ecty
ouandt
hat
babyyouarecar
ryi
ng”Babasay
s.
“
Wel
lIam notr
eadyt
ofor
giv
ehi
m”Isay
.
“
Whatabouthi
srequestt
omar
ryy
ou”heasks.
Il
ookatt
heri
nginmyfingerGodknowswhyIam
st
il
lwear
ingt
hisman’
sring.
Ishakemyheadl
ookatBaba.
“
Iwi
l
lgi
vehi
m backt
her
ing”Isay
.
“
Bay
ede”hesay
ssof
tl
y.
“
Babahehur
tmeandy
ouneedt
ounder
standt
hat
”I
t
ell
him.
Hesl
owl
ynodshi
shead.
“
Cany
oubr
ingussomet
hingt
odr
ink”hesay
sgi
vi
ng
t
hesmal
lcl
aypot
.
Inodmyheadandwat
chashewal
ksout
.
Iwal
ktothel
i
vingroom andpourt
hem t
hesor
ghum
beer
(Umqombothi
).
There’
sacer
emonydonetodaybabadeci
dedt
o
haveoneandappeaset
heancest
ors.
Imakemywayoutandwalkov
ert
owher
emyf
ather
i
sseatedwi
thot
hermen.
Nqubekoi
sseati
ngnextt
ohi
m Iswal
l
owhar
dand
swaymyhips.
“
Siy
abonga”(
thanky
ou)Babasay
s.
Iplaceukhambari
ghtnexttothei
rfeetbutNqubeko
reachesfori
tbef
oreIcanletgo.
Hishandtouchesmi
neandj
ustt
hent
heel
ect
ri
c
spar
khitsme.
Hel
ooksi
ntomyey
esandsmi
l
es.
Hehel
psmer
aiseukhambaandhel
phi
m dr
ink.
Ir
esistal
mostspi
ll
ingthebeerbuthi
shandshol
d
minesteadyandt
ight
.
Thebeerpotreacheshi
sli
psasIeasei
ntowhat
ever
thi
sisl
ookingint
ohisbeaut
if
uley
es.
Il
ookathisst
rongar
msandsmi
l
eIcoul
dser
vet
his
manallt
hedaysofmyli
fe.
He’
sjusthandsomeIsmi
l
eatt
het
houghtofourson
t
aki
ngaf t
erhim.
Hehashi
sfi
l
landl
ooksatmegi
vi
ngmeasi
de
smi
le.
Despi
tehim bei
ngawayandmemenot
under
standi
ngIlov
ethi
smanwit
hal
lmyhear
tandI
shoul
dbesad.
Ishoul
dberej
oici
ngt
hathe’
sbackhomeandt
hatal
l
thi
sisover
.

“Bengit
hiudl
alangami
”Zamosi
ngsf
rom t
het
opof
herlungs.
Shehasabeaut
if
ulv
oicel
i
keKhet
hiwe’
s.
Shemakesherwaytomeandhel
psmeupwi
tha
beaut
if
ulsmi
leonherf
ace.
“
Singwi
thme”shesay
s.
Ishakemyheadandl
ookatNqubeko.

“Bengi
thiudl
alangamibengangazi
ukut
hi
uyangi
thandabengit
hiudl
alangam”

Zamostar
tsdanci
ngandt
hecheer
ingandul
ulat
ing
erupt
s.

“Bengi
ngaziukut
hiuy
angi
thandabengi
thi
udl
ala
ngami”Isi
ng.

Nqubekost
andsupandst
andsi
nfr
ontofme.
“Ngi
yakuthandaMaNgubaneandt
hat
’st
het
rut
h”he
saysgoingdownononeknee.
“
Iam sor
ryt
hatIhur
tyoumamakhe”hesay
s.
Tearsfi
ll
myey esGodgav
ehi
m backf
orar
easonI
shouldbehappy.
“
Mar
ryme”Hesay
s.
“
Mar
rymest
handwasam”hesay
ssmi
l
ing.
Inodmyheadashest
andsupanddust
shi
msel
f
pul
li
ngmetohisar
ms.
Hi
ssoftl
i
pst
ouchmi
neashi
shandr
unsdownmi
ne
myback.

“
Bay
ede”
“
Bay
ede”
Thev
oicei
sdi
stantbutper
sist
ent
.
Isl
owlyopenmyey
esandf
indNqubeko’
smot
her
l
ookingatme.
Ir
unmyey
esandl
ookar
ound.
“
Youwer
emumbl
i
ngi
nyoursl
eep”
Shesay
s.
Iswall
owhardast
ear
sfi
l
lmyey
esIpassedouton
thecouch.
“
Isawhi
m mamaandhehel
dme”Isay
.
“
Who”sheasks.
“
NqubekomamaIsawhi
m hewasback”Isay
.
Shenodsherheadt
ear
sfi
l
li
ngherowney
es.
“
Ican’
tgoonl
i
ket
hisMa,
Imi
sshi
m sobad”Isay
.
“
IknowandImi
sshi
mtoo”shesay
swi
pingher
t
ears.
Shehol
dsmet
ighti
nherar
msandl
etsmebe.
Ipul
lawayandwipemytearsaf
terhav
ingmessed
upherbeaut
if
ulbl
ousewit
hmyt ear
s.
“
Iwi
l
lgetmor
eboxes”Isayst
andi
ngup.
Imakemywayt
othest
orer
oom andpassbyhi
s
bedr
oom.
Ist
oponmyt
racksandopent
hedoorwal
ki
ngi
n.
Ishutthedoorbehindmeandwalkar
oundt
hinki
ng
ofallt
hememor ieswemadehere.
Iwal
kovertothewardr
obeandpul
louthi
st-
shor
t
andweari
tovermine.
Ir
emovemyshoesandwal
kov
ert
othebedpeel
i
ng
of
fthebl
anket
s.
Igetonandtur
ntohi
ssi
deoft
hebedandpi
ctur
e
hi
ml ooki
ngathi
m.
Thi
shur
tssomuchhi
m notbei
ngher
eri
psmeapar
t.
Iimagi
nehi
shandonmybel
l
yandsmi
l
ethr
oughmy
tear
s.
“
Imi
ssy
ouPhakat
hway
o”Isay
.
“Imissy
ouy
ouev
ery
dayandIdon’
tthi
nkIwi
l
lev
er
stop.
I
naf ewmonthsIwi
llbegi
vi
ngbi
rt
htooursonandI
wil
ll
ookathi
m andseeyouandi
twil
lbr
eakmy
hear
t.
Iwi
ll
alwaysl
oveNqubekoPhakathway
oyouhav
e
al
waysbeenmyheartandkeeper
.
Lookoverusst
handwasam smi
l
eonusev
ery
dayof
ourl
iv
es.
Ngi
yakut
handaPhakat
hway
oomuhl
e”Isay
.
Ihol
dmy sel
ffr
om breakingdownhi
smotherasked
met ocomehelpherclearsomeoft
het
hinginthe
house.
Ican’
tbri
ngmy sel
ftopackever
ythi
ngit’
sli
kewear
e
for
gett
ingabouthi
m andthatheeverexi
sted.
Thisist
helastt
imeIgett
osleepinhisbedand
remini
sceaboutthel
oveweshared.
Ther
earetoomanymemor
iesher
eandknowing
mysel
fIcan’
tst
aywhi
chi
swhyIam movingaway.

Fourmont
hsl
ater
.

.
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
.
Sponsor
edbyTshepi
soMol
i
ne
Bay
ede’
skeeper

#60

I
t’
sbeenmont
hsnowandIhav
ebeensi
tt
ingat
homedoi
ngnot
hing.
Ihadpl
annedtomoveawayf r
om her
ebutthenIgot
si
ckhadafewcompl i
cat
ionswit
hthebabyandI
wastol
dtostayput
.
Myparent
smov edt
heweddingsi
nceIwasn’
tinany
st
atet
oattendordoany
thi
ng.
Iev
engotar
rest
edf
ort
ryi
ngt
oki
l
lShaka.
Ihat
edthemanformessi
ngupourl
i
vesandt
aki
ng
Nqubekoawayf
rom me.
Iwasluckyt
houghBabamadeev
ery
thi
nggoaway
andIwasletof
fthehook.
Amont haf
termet
ryi
ngt
oki
l
lhi
m hewi
ndedup
dead.
Br
utal
l
ymur
der
edIcoul
dn’
tev
enl
ookathi
sbur
ned
bodyappar
ent
lyhewasst
il
lal
i
vewhenhewas
burned.
Thewholethi
ngwasj
ustgr
uesomet
owat
chorev
en
thi
nkabout
.
Iam dueanydaynow,
Iam bot
hexci
tedandner
vous
aboutthi
snewphase.
Idon’tknowwhati
tmeanst
obemot
hermi
newas
takentoosoon.
Theonlythi
ngIknowt
odoi
stol
oveandpr
otect
thosecl
osetomyhear
t.
Iwanttobemychil
d’sf
ir
stl
ovet
obet
hebest
motherIcanbe.
Youseel i
fehasaf
unnywayofplayi
ngout my
stepf
atherwasamonstert
hatdeser
vedtodi
ebut
notatmyhands.
DeepdownIbeli
evethi
sismykar
maf
orl
i
vingas
thoughInev
erspi
ll
edblood.
Ihat
etoadmiti
tbutmaybethi
sismepay
ingf
or
whatIdi
dal
lthoseyear
sago.
Iscr
oll
downmypi
ctur
esandl
ookatmymot
her
’s.
Despi
teherfaul
tsmymotherwasast
ronggood
womanandshewaskill
edbyamanwhohad
cl
aimedtoloveher
.
Amanwhoswor
etopr
otecthery
etheendedup
ki
l
li
ngher
.
Ideeplysighl
ooki
ngatKhet
hiwe’
sshewasmy
every
thingandGodknowsIneededhert
ohol
don
j
ustal i
ttl
ebit
.
Theirdeat
hssti
l
lhauntmetot
hisdaymymother
l
ayinginapoolofbl
oodandmysist
ercol
dinabath
tubfull
ofwater
.
It
henl
ookatNqubeko’
spi
ctur
eanddeepl
ysi
gh.
“
Ohmyl
ove”Iwhi
sper
.
Thebabyhasbeenacti
veallmor
ningki
cki
ngand
si
tt
ingi
nplacesheshouldn’
t.
Ican’tdoany
thi
ngformysel
fany
morewit
heachday
thatpassesi
tget
shardert
obendov
er.
Myfeetar
eswol
l
enandIgobbl
eupf
oodl
i
kenev
er
bef
ore.
ThedooropensandZamowal
ksi
nhol
i
ngabr
own
paperbag.
“Thoughty
oumi
ghtneedal
i
ttl
epi
ckmeup”she
says.
It
akeapeaki
nsi
deandi
t’
sahumongousbugger
.
“
Thanky
ousi
s”Isay
.
“Nowlet
’sgogety
oual
ldol
l
edupandr
eady
”she
says.
Weleaveourroom andheadoutt
omama’sthe
gl
am squadisalr
eadyheredoi
nghermakeup.
“
Final
l
yIwasaboutt
osendoutasear
chpar
ty”
Mamasays.
Il
aughset
tl
ingdownont
hebedeat
ingmybugger
..
“
Yey
e”NcaneSi
zakel
esay
s.
She’
sMama’ssi
sterandki
ndtoobutheav
yont
he
bott
lei
nacl
assywayofcourse.
“
Ncane”Isay
.
“Tel
lmewhenar eyouget
ti
ngamanhuhImeanthe
chil
disgoingt
oneedastepfat
her
”shesay
ssi
ppi
ng
atherwine.
“
Kahl
eSi
zakel
e”Mamasay
s.
“
It
’sokayma”Isayl
aughi
ng.
Thebuggergoesdownni
cel
ywi
thacupofOr
os.
Ihavebeendri
nki
ngi
tall
weekendbutImustsayi
t
tast
esdif
fer
entfr
om t
heonewestol
e.
Thi
sonelackssomethi
ngexci
ti
ngbuti
thi
tshar
d
st
il
lj
ustdi
ffer
entl
y.
“Idon’
twantanymant
hat
’snotNqubekoNcane”I
saysoftl
y.
“Iknowit’
simpossibl
ebutIdon’twantmyson
hav i
ngastepfat
herthatwill
abusehi m andbesides
hav eyouseenhowIl ookIdoubtanymanwi l
llook
atmewi ththi
shugenose” Isayfi
nishingupthelast
bite.
“
Soyouaretel
l
ingmet
haty
oumi
ghtnev
erget
mar
ri
ed”sheasks.
Ishr
ugmyshoul
der
s.
“Lalel
asisinotal
lmenar
emonst
ersandnotal
l
stepparent
sar ebad.
Youofallpeopl
eshoul
dknowt
hisbecausey
ouhav
e
wit
nessedboth.
Lovei
sabeaut
if
ult
hingandi
fyouf
indi
tonceagai
n
takei
t,
embr
acei
tandrunwit
hit
.
Ihaveneverbeenl
uckywheni
tcomest
olovebutI
havewit
nessedthosear
oundmelov
eandfal
linl
ove.
Todaywear eabouttowi
tnesssomethingamazing
andpure,
Iwanty out
oopeny ourhear
ttoanyt
hing
andrunwithit
”shesaysl
ookingatme.
“Youarebeauti
ful
Bay
edeandyoudeserveal
lthe
goodthingsl
if
ehasoff
er”
shesay
ssmi l
i
ng.
“
Thanky
ouNcane”Isay
.
“
Mawhati
smar
ri
agel
i
ke”
Zamoasks.
Iseatbackandclosemyey
esast
hemakeupl
ady
worksonmyf ace.
“Let’
sstartherenomar r
iageisperfectbecausewe
allhumanandnoonei sper f
ectbutletmet el
lyou
thi
smar r
iageisbeaut
if
ul especi
all
ywhendonewi th
therightperson.
Mar
ri
agei
sbeaut
if
ulwhent
her
eiski
ndness,
lov
e
andr
espect
.
Whendonewithamanwhoiscommitt
edandr
eady
t
oloveandprot
ecty
oufr
om thewor
ldl
ikey
ouare
r
eadytodothesame.
Mar
ri
agei
sbeaut
if
ul whent
hebothofyouarer
eady
f
ori
tandhav
einv
itedGoduntoyouruni
on.
Mar r
iagei snothardit
’speopl
ethatmakeithard
peoplet hatarenotreadyfori
t,
peopl
ethataren’
t
readyt onurtur
eitandpeoplethatar
en’
treadyto
l
ov eright.
Yourfat
herhasnev erhi
tmenotoncenorhashe
everhumili
atedmeormademef eelunl
ovedor
worthl
essbecausewhenheaskedmet omarryhi
m
hewasr eadyforus”shesay
ssmil
ing.
Ismi
l
elooki
ngatherspeakbeaut
if
ulaboutmar
ri
age.
“
Lookatmebubbl
i
ngwhenIshoul
dbeget
ti
ng
r
eady”Shesay
sbl
inkhert
ear
saway.
Myparent
sar ehavi
ngabeachweddi
ngIdon’
tknow
whybutapparent
lymamahasalwayswant
edto
r
enewherv owsbythesea.
ThedooropensandThandotoget
herwi
th
Nqubeko’
smotherwal
kinlooki
ngbeaut
if
ul.
Thandolooksst
unni
ngy
ouwoul
dn’
ttel
lshe’
sanew
mother
.
“
Bayedeyouneedtogetdr
essed”Thandosay
s
l
ooki
ngshocked.
Iam t
heonewhoi
sn’
tdr
essedy
et.
Zamor
eachesf
ormydust
ybl
uebr
idesmai
ddr
ess.
SheandThandohel
pmeputi
tonbuti
tsomehowi
t
get
sstuck.
“
HauBayedei
ntwoweeksyouhav
epi
ckedupmor
e
wei
ght
”NcaneSi
zakel
esay
s.
“I
t’
sokayIhaveanotherdressbuti
t’
scream whi
te
anditwi
ll
fitper
fect
ly”Themakeupar t
istsay
s.
“
Jackofal
ltr
adeshuh”Mamasay
s.
“Wellt
hisi
sahugeweddingoneneedst
obe
prepar
edalway
s”t
heladysays.

Ti
mei
srunni
ngoutandev
ery
thi
ngi
sal
lsetbut
seei
ngt
hatIam t
heonl
ypengui
nher
eIam r
unni
ng
l
ate.
Il
ookatmy sel
finthemir
roranblushdespi
tethe
pregnancyIlookgoodinthi
soffshoul
derbeauti
ful
fl
owingdresswi t
hasli
thelm.
Themakeupl
adyli
edthi
sdr
essisfarfr
om bei
ng
cr
eam whi
tei
tiscr
yst
alwhi
teandgorgeous.
Thedooropensandmyf
atherwal
ksi
nlooki
ng
handsome.
Asmilespr
eadsacr
ossmyl i
psIam aboutt
o
wit
nesssomethi
ngbeaut
if
ulbet
weent woamazi
ng
peopl
e.
Sadnesswashesov
ermeasmemor i
esofwhat
coul
dhavebeenbetweenNqubekoandIswoopin.
“Heytodayi
sahappydaypl
easedon’
tcr
y”Myf
ather
says.
“IknowIdidn’
trai
sey
ouBay edet
hatIwasn’
tther
e
wheny ouneededmegrowingup,
butIwantyouto
knowt haty
oumeanthewor l
dtomeMaNgubaneI
l
ov eyousomuchmychi l
d”hesays.
“Babashoul
dn’
tyoubeatt
heal
terwai
ti
ngf
ory
our
beauti
ful
wif
e”Iask.
“Yesbuty
ourmot
hersentmeheretogety
our
every
onewai
ti
ngf
oryou”hesays.
Hehel
psmewearmysl
i
pper
sandhooksmyar
m
ar
oundhi
s.
“
BabaIl
ovey
ou”Isay
.
Heki
ssesmyhandandsmi
l
es.
“
Ilov
eyout
ooBay
ede”hesay
s.
Weheadouttot
heout
sidev
enueandi
t’
sjust
br
eat
htaki
ng.
Iremovemysli
ppersanddigmytoesint
othesand
andsmilel
ooki
ngatthewhiteTi
ff
anychair
seach
drapedwit
habluechi
ffonandawhit
ef l
our
.
ThandoandZamoar ewear
ingdust
ybl
uebeaut
if
ul
bri
desmai
ddresses.
Il
ooktothegroomsmensi
deandnot
icehow
Bandil
eandNethaar
eweari
ngnav
ybluesui
ts
l
ookingfi
ne.
Idon’
tseemamaanywhereneart
heal
tershe’
sjust
si
tti
ngwit
hal
ltheot
herguest
s.
IseesomeofNqubeko’sfamil
ymember sandsmi
le
eventhoughhe’
sgonehisfamil
yst
il
lremainsmi
ne
weshareachildaf
teral
l
.

“
Don’
tbeaf
rai
d”Myf
athersay
shol
dingmyhand.
Asongstart
splayi
ngandIrememberthefi
rstt
imeI
hear
dit
,Iwasbeingsi
l
lyandNqubekosenti
ttome.

‘
Ifoundal
ovef
orme
Ohdar
li
ng,
justdi
ver
ighti
nandf
oll
owmyl
ead
Wel
l
,If
oundagi
rl
,beaut
if
ulandsweet
Oh,
Inev
erknewy
ouwer
ethesomeonewai
ti
ngf
or
me
'
Causewewer
ejustki
dswhenwef
ell
inl
ove
Notknowi
ngwhati
twas
Iwi
l
lnotgi
vey
ouupt
hist
ime
Butdar
li
ng,
justki
ssmesl
ow,
yourhear
tisal
lIown
Andi
nyourey
es,
you'
rehol
dingmi
ne
Baby
,I'
m danci
ngi
nthedar
kwi
thy
oubet
weenmy
ar
ms
Bar
efootont
hegr
ass,
li
steni
ngt
oourf
avour
it
esong
Wheny ousai
dyoulookedamess,
Iwhi
sper
ed
under
neathmybreath
Buty
ouhear
dit
,dar
li
ng,
youl
ookper
fectt
oni
ght
,

Myheartst
art
sraci
ngaswet
akeeachst
ept
owar
ds
t
healt
er.
Iam steppi
ngonwhi
terosepet
alsconf
usedathel
l
becausenothi
ngmakessensenow.

“
Closey
ourey
es”myf
athersay
s.
Tear
sfil
lmyeyeswhenIt
hinkoft
hepossi
bil
i
tyof
Nqubekobei
ngali
ve.
“
Trustme”hesay
s
Icl
osemyey
esandbi
temyl
i
pGodknowsIneeda
mir
acle.
“
Opent
hem”hesay
ssof
tl
y.
Iopenmyeyesandcomef
acet
ofacewi
thNqubeko
tower
ingov
erme.
“
Sawubona”hesay
s.
Myl
ipsqui
verashegoesdownonhiskneesr
ubbi
ng
mybel
lyt
hebabykickshar
dert
hanbef
ore.
“Youhel
donbuddyt
hanky
ou”hesay
ski
ssi
ngmy
bell
y.
Icl
osemyey
esandshakemyhead.
“
Godl
eti
tnotbeanot
herdr
eam Iam
beggi
ngy
ou”Isay
.
If
eel
hisf
oreheadonmi
ne.
“
Openy
ourey
esi
t’
snotadr
eam”hesay
s.
“
SawubonaBay
ede”hesay
ssof
tl
y.
“
Icr
ied”Isay
.
Henodshi
sheadwi
pingmyt
ear
s.
“
Iknow”hesay
shol
dingmyf
ace.
“
AndIcr
ied”Isay
.
Mrf
atherl
aughsandsni
ff
.
“
IknowandIam sor
ry”hesay
s.
Ihavesomanyquest ionsbutNcanet
oldmetoopen
myhear tasIam abouttowit
nesssomethi
ng
beauti
fulandpur
e.
“
Iam sor
ry”hewhi
sper
s.
“
Icr
ied”Isay
.
Hehol
dsmet
ightasIsobi
nhi
sar
ms.
Ipul
lawayandlookathi
m pr
oper
lyhe’
sgr
owna
bear
danditlooksgoodonhi
m.
“
Sawubona”Isay
.
Hechuckl
esandl
eansf
oraki
ss.
Isubt
lypi
nchmy sel
fandl
ookaroundsti
llatt
he
beachsur
roundedbyfami
lyandfr
iends.
Hef
acesmyf
atherandt
heyshar
eahug.
“
Thanky
oubaba”hesay
s.
Hewalksbackt
otheal
terandt
hesongr
esumes
pl
ayi
ng.

“
Wel
lIf
oundawoman,
str
ongert
hanany
oneIknow
Sheshar
esmydreams,
Ihopet
hatsomedayI
'
ll
shar
eherhome
If
oundal
ove,
tocar
rymor
ethanj
ustmysecr
ets
Tocar
ryl
ove,
tocar
rychi
l
drenofourown
Wear
est
il
lki
ds,
butwe'
resoi
nlov
e
Fi
ght
ingagai
nstal
lodds
Iknowwe'
l
lbeal
ri
ghtt
hist
ime
Dar
li
ng,
justhol
dmyhand
Bemygi
rl
,I
'l
lbey
ourman
Iseemyf
utur
einy
ourey
es
Baby
,I'
m danci
ngi
nthedar
k,wi
thy
oubet
weenmy
ar
ms
Bar
efootont
hegr
ass,
li
steni
ngt
oourf
avor
it
esong
WhenIsawy
oui
nthatdr
ess,
looki
ngsobeaut
if
ul
Idon'
tdeser
vet
his,
dar
li
ng,
youl
ookper
fectt
oni
ght
Baby
,I'
m danci
ngi
nthedar
k,wi
thy
oubet
weenmy
ar
ms
Bar
efootont
hegr
ass,
li
steni
ngt
oourf
avor
it
esong
Ihav
efai
thi
nwhatIsee
NowIknowIhav
emetanangel
inper
son
Andshel
ooksper
fect
Idon'
tdeser
vet
his
Youl
ookper
fectt
oni
ght
”

Myfat
herwalksmedowntheai
sleandnomatter
howhardIt
rytohol
dmytearst
heykeepfal
l
ing.
Il
ookatt
hebabyscanspl
ast
eredov
ert
heal
terand
smil
e.
“Helovesy
oumor ethananythi
ngf
orgiv
ehim
Bayede”Myfat
hersayskissi
ngmyforehead.
Nquebkohol
dsmyhands.
“
Ihav
eal
waybeenher
est
handwasam wat
chi
ng
ov
ery
ou”hesay
s.
“Ican’
tbegi
ntoimagi
nethepai
nIputyourt
hrough
andIam sorr
yformaki
ngyougothroughi
t.
ButIonceaskedyouify
outrust
edmeandyousai
d
yes,
Iwantyoutotr
ustagai
ninusandourl
oveand
knowthatever
ythi
ngIdidwasforus.
Il
ovey
ouBay
edeandithasal
waysbeeny
oupl
ease
l
etmemakei
tuptoyou”hesays.
Il
ookatmymot herandsmil
eIdon’twantt
odo
marr
iagewi
thanyoneelsebutNqubeko.
If
eel
somecr
ampsandwi
ncebi
ti
ngmyt
ongue.
“
Youhur
tmeNqubekomademegoonwit
hout
y
ou,
mademegri
evefory
ouwheny
ouareal
iv
e.
Idounderst
andbutatthesameti
meIdon’tbut
whatIknowisthatIl
oveyouandIam r
eadyforus”I
say.
Hesmi
l
esbeaut
if
ull
yandbl
i
nks.
“
Ifor
giv
eyouNqubeko”Isay
.
Ihol
dhi
sfaceandsmi
l
ethi
smani
sbeaut
if
ul.Ir
un
myhandsoverhi
schestandsmi
l
ehe’
sreal
l
yher
e
butsoi
shi
sson.
“
It
’sr
eal
l
yyou”Isay
.
“
It
’sr
eal
l
ymest
handwasam”hesay
ssmi
l
ing.
“
Sthandwasam y
ouar
epeei
ngony
our
sel
f”hesay
s.
“
Yoursoni
scomi
ng”Isay
.
Hesmi
l
espr
oudl
ymenbei
ngsl
ow.
“Nqubekoy
oursoni
scomi
ngmywat
erj
ustbr
oke”I
say.
“
Now”heaskspani
cki
ng.
Inodmyheadandpul
lhi
mfr
om wal
ki
ngaway
.
“
Mar
rymef
ir
stPhakat
hway
o”Isay
.
Welookatt
hepr
iestscr
ambl
ethr
ought
hehol
l
y
bi
ble
“Therefor
eamanshal lleavehi
sfatherandhis
mot herandholdfastt
ohi swif
e,andtheyshal
l
becomeonef lesh.Genesis2:
24
Ther
efor
ewhatGodhasj
oinedt
oget
her
,letnoone
separ
ate.Mar
k10:
9
Bythepoweri
nvest
edi
nmeInowpr onouncey
ou
husbandandwi
fe”t
hepri
estsay
s.
Nqubekol
eanscloseandki
ssesmeIhol
dont
oto
t
hebackofhisheadandscream.
“
Ilov
eyouPhakat
hway
o”Isayt
hroughgr
it
tedt
eet
h.
Her
est
shi
shandsandei
thersi
deonmywai
st.
“
Ilov
eyouBay
ede”hesay
ski
ssi
ngmyf
orehead.

.
..
.End.
..
..
..
..
..
..
.