CLASS MATERIAL

WEEK 12
CEL2103 WRITING ACADEMIC TEXTS
SEMESTER 1, 2022-2023

Editing and Revising the Essay

Language and sentence errors in an essay
- Punctuation
- Subject-verb Agreement
- Tenses
- Vocabulary
- Spelling

After you have written your essay, the final stage is to revise and edit the essay. In this
stage, you look for any errors that can be found in the essay. Some errors not only could
make reading difficult, but it could also affect the meaning that you want to convey.

Language and Sentence Errors: Punctuation

Punctuation can make a significant difference in the meaning of your sentences. By

following the basic rules of punctuation, you are able to communicate your ideas
appropriately through your writing.

Activity 1
Below are the commonly used punctuation in academic writing. Write the rules and provide
examples for each punctuation.

No. Punctuations Rules

1 Period

2 Comma

3 Quotation marks

4 Colon

5 Semi-colon

6 Apostrophe

Activity 2
Punctuate the following text and change the capitalisation when necessary.

Question 1
conversely in the past only rich people would have access to formal education therefore
most people did not have a lot of opportunities to study

Answer:

Question 2
the majority of the people who watch football in the United States and Saudi Arabia tend to
be interested in playing the game however it is not allowed for women in saudi arabia to play
football for religious reasons meanwhile in the UK England has one of the best womens
teams in the world (Ezine Articles 2007)

Answer:

Question 3
when comparing between living in a city and living in a rural area one should consider some
salient points cost of living space and accessibility an article entitled Country Living versus
Urban Living suggests that as both options have advantages and drawbacks it is vital for a
person to recognise his or her priorities before investing on the property location

Answer:

Activity 3
The text below contains punctuation errors. Identify and correct the errors.

One similarity between Brazil and the United States is the diversity of the population. Brazil
was colonised by Europeans; and it’s culture has been greatly influenced by this fact,
however, Brazilians identity was influenced by many other cultures as well. According to
(Wenger, 2018), other than the indigenous people, Brazil is a melting pot of many ethnic
groups that immigrated there. Similarly, the United States also has a diversity of ethnic
groups from the Native American population and early colonists from northern Europe, to
slave groups from Africa. Later “immigrants” from the Mediterranean, Asia, and South
America added to the diversity of its citizens. the mixture of: cultures and customs, has
worked to form ethnically rich cultures in both countries.

Adapted from Muchmore-Vokoun, A., Solomon, E. & Folse, K. (2019). Great writing 4: Great Essays
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(5 ed.). Cengage Learning.

Language and Sentence Errors: Tenses

Activity 4
Fill in the blanks with the correct tenses (simple present / simple past / present perfect) of
the verbs in the parenthesis.

1. Over the years, technology evidently __________ (change) our society.

2. In the past, technology __________ (be) not really familiarised, thus the old generation
__________ (has) to ensure that their task is done without any programmed device that
they could use.

3. International students __________ (constitute) 30% of the university’s enrolment at

present.

4. An undergraduate student from a local university recently __________ (create) this user-
friendly website.

5. Transition signals are very helpful because they __________ (indicate) the relationship
between sentences.

6. In the last two years, the students __________ (demand) better healthcare service from
the university.

Activity 5
The text below contains tense errors. Complete the paragraphs by writing the word in the
brackets with the correct tense.

Question 1
Medicine (1) _______ (have) a history spanning many thousands of years and specialised
establishments for treating the sick have also existed for eons. Despite the fact that function
of hospitals (2) _______ (have) not changed much during the last century, technological and
scientific progress (3) _______ (make) possible treatment approaches that could not have
been implemented a hundred years ago, and this (4) _______ (make) a large contribution to
health care. The main differences between hospitals today and a century ago (5) _______
(be) improved surgical techniques, safer use of anaesthesia and safer childbirth procedures.

Question 2
Modern teenagers are more educated than teenagers a hundred years ago. One of the
effects of an easily accessed education is that the youth (1) _______ (become) more
dynamic and socially active these days. They now (2) _______ (tend) to question and test
the norms and traditions of their society. By doing so, the youth (3) _______ (become) a
source of societal change in many countries since a few decades ago. Due to the fact that
teenagers, a hundred years ago, (4) _______ (lack) the access to quality education, they (5)
_______ (live) a sedentary life. In other words, they (6) _______ (be) more conservative and
(7) _______ (adhere) to the social norms laid down by their society.

Language and Sentence Errors: Subject-verb Agreement

Activity 6
The text below contains subject-verb agreement errors. Identify the errors and write the
correct forms of the verbs.

Japan and the United States: Different but Alike

One significant similarity between Japan and the United States is that both Japanese and
Americans has always emphasised the importance of work, and both are paying penalties
for their commitment to it: increased stress and weakened family bonds. People in the
United States, especially those in business, regularly puts in twelve or more hours a day at
their jobs, just as many Japanese executives does. Also, while the normal Japanese
workweek are six days, many people in the United States who wants to get ahead voluntarily
work on Saturdays or Sundays, in addition to their five-day workweek.

In spite of the similarity, the opposite cultures of Japan and the United States apparently
leads to their differences. One stark difference between Japan and the United States
involves issues of group interaction. Whereas people in the United States pride themselves
on individualism, the Japanese values collectivism. People in the United States admires and
rewards a person who rises above the crowd; in contrast, a Japanese proverb says, “the nail
that sticks up gets hammered down”. In this sense, members of a group holds collective
responsibility for the performance and actions of an individual in Japan (IES, 2021).

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Adapted from Oshima, A. & Hogue, A. (2006). Writing academic English (4 ed.). Pearson Education

Language and Sentence Errors: Vocabulary

Activity 7
Below are the characteristics of vocabulary used in academic writing. Describe and provide
examples for each characteristic.

No. Characteristic Description

1 Formal

2 Objective

3 Impersonal

Activity 8
The texts below contain inappropriate words/phrases for academic texts. Identify and
replace them with appropriate words/phrases.

Text 1
It is widely agreed that men and women think and act in different ways. In general women
turn out to have better memories, better social skills and are more competent at multitasking.
Men, in contrast, seem to focus better on single issues and have amazing motor and spatial
skills, although clearly many people are exceptions to these patterns. These differences
have been told as behaviour adopted thousands of years ago, when the men went hunting
while the women stayed at home and cared for their children. But another approach is to see
the behaviour as a result of the way our brains act the part.

Adapted from Bailey, S. (2018). Academic writing: A handbook for international students (5th ed.).
Routledge.

Answer:
Inappropriate words/phrases Corrections

Text 2
Recent research by Ragini Verma’s team at the University of Pennsylvania has used brain
scans to compare 428 men and 521 women. They tracked the pathways of water molecules
around the brain area and found fascinating differences. The top half of our brain is called
the cerebrum, and it’s divided into a left and a right half. The left hemisphere is thought to be
the home of logic and the right is as the centre of intuition. Dr. Verma found out that with
women most of the pathways of the water molecules went between the two halves, while
with men they stayed inside the hemispheres. She believes that these results explain the
gender differences in ability, such as women’s wonderful social competence compared to
men’s more intense focus on single issues.

Adapted from Bailey, S. (2018). Academic writing: A handbook for international students (5th ed.).
Routledge.

Answer:
Inappropriate words/phrases Corrections

Certain common words can cause confusion because they have similar but distinct spellings
and meanings.

Activity 9
The texts below contain vocabulary errors. Identify and replace them with the correct words.

Text 1
Conventional crops have higher levels of the toxic metal cadmium, and are four-times more
likely to content detectable pesticide residues. They are general recommendations to
minimise the intake of pesticides and cadmium to avoid potential negative affects on health.

Adapted from Baranski, Rempelos, Iversen & Leifert (2017). Effects of organic food consumption on
human health; the jury is still out. Food Nutrition Research, 61(1).

Answer:
Inappropriate words Corrections

Text 2
The Arctic fox is comparable in size to the domestic cat. It inhabits the so-called ‘kingdom of
the polar bear’, the area midway between Norway and the North Pole. This canine predator
adopts to extreme whether conditions. During the winter months, it’s white coat that is an
ideal camouflage in the rough northern climate.

Adapted from https://englishforeveryone.org/PDFs/Advanced%20Paragraph%20Correction%204.pdf

Answer:
Inappropriate words Corrections

Text 3
In many African countries, mobile phone ownership is aiding new businesses to get started.
Farmers can easily find current market prizes for their crops, and traders can use mobile
money services to make payments. It seems clear that as more people use these phones,
national GDP raises. There is nearly one billion mobile phone users in Africa. However, this
number is deceptive as in reality only half of Africa’s 1.2 billion population have excess to a
mobile phone because many of them have two or more mobile phones.

Adapted from Bailey, S. (2018). Academic writing: A handbook for international students (5th ed.).
Routledge.

Answer:
Inappropriate words Corrections

Language and Sentence Errors: Spelling

Activity 10
The texts below contain common spelling errors in English. Identify the errors and write the
correct words.

Text 1
High school and college employ diferent teaching styles. In high school, teachers deliver
lessons by using textbooks and notes on a chalkboard. Students ask questions during
lectures and take notes of the lesons. Most of the time, the lecture follows the textbook. In
contrast, when it comes to teaching styles generaly practised in a college, books
suppllement learning, lectures are full of interactive materials, illustrations, personal
experience and the professors’ own expertice in the subject. Rather than giving all the
information, collage professors aspect students to find it on their own through research
asignments and homework.

Adapted from Your Dictionary (n.d.). Compare and contrast essay example: High school vs. college.
https://assets.ltkcontent.com/files/compare-contrast-essay-college.pdf

Answer:
Spelling errors Correction

Text 2
When it comes to comunication between people, the older generation used to face many
problems in contacting their deer ones; whereas, people of the present generation are used
to conecting with each other almost immediatly. For exampel, teenagers in the new
generation spend most of their time chatting with their friends on their mobile phones or
online. On the other hand, people from the older generation are acustomed to writing latters
to contact friends that are far away. They also would prefer face-to-face communication over
virtual meetings when dealing with other people.

Adapted from GradeFixer (2019). The difference between generation. https://gradesfixer.com/free-

essay-examples/the-difference-between-generations/

Answer:
Spelling errors Correction

Text 3
The most commonly cited advantege of distance learning is the flexibility and accessibility it
offers. Rather than being required to travel to a specific location every week, students can
participate from anywhere with an Internet connection, and this allows for a wider
geographical spread of students. However, distance learning presents its own accesibility
challenges; not all students have a stabel internet connection and a computer or other
devises with which to participate in online classes, and less technologically litterate students
and teachers may strugle with the technical expects of class participation. Furthermore,
discomfort and distractions can hinder an individual student’s abillity to engage with the
class from home, creating divergent learning experiences for different students. Distance
learning, then, seems to improve accesibility in some ways while representing a step
backwards in others.

Adapted from Bailey, S. (2018). Academic writing: A handbook for international students (5th ed.).
Routledge.

Answer:
Spelling errors Correction

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