Professional Documents
Culture Documents
CHAPTER 7
Relationships, Intimacy, and
Communication
CHAPTER-AT-A-GLANCE
CHAPTER SUMMARY
Jealousy has been found in different degrees of intensity in all cultures. A study of
jealousy among Facebook users is presented. Students whose partners corresponded with
people they did not know reported feelings of jealousy. Those who spent the most time
on Facebook were the most jealous. Evolutionary theory predicts sex differences in
jealousy: men would be more upset by a partner’s sexual infidelity; women would be
more upset by a partner’s emotional transgression. Sex differences in jealousy disappear
when one’s partner has an affair with someone of his or her own sex.
People can react passively (wait until something happens) or actively (take steps to
end or save the relationship) when confronted with deterioration. Relationships tend to
end when the partners find little satisfaction in the affiliation, alternative partners are
available, couples are not committed to preserving the relationship, or they expect the
relationship to falter. The ending of relationships need not always be a negative thing.
Intimacy involves feelings of emotional closeness with another person and the desire
to share each other’s innermost thoughts and feelings. Intimate relationships are
characterized by trust, caring and acceptance. People need not be sexually intimate to be
emotionally intimate (nor does sexual intimacy automatically create emotional intimacy).
Honesty is a core feature of intimacy.
listening to a partner are given. A text box provides information about communicating
sexual needs.
LEARNING OBJECTIVES
TEACHING TIPS
1. Have students list differences that may arise in a relationship. Have them discuss
which ones they think could be resolved and which ones they think are intolerable.
(Possible differences include opinions about family members or where you spend
holidays, political party affiliation differences, religious differences, child discipline
differences, etc.)
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
1. What are the pros and cons of meeting someone to date online? Do you think it is
possible to develop intimacy with someone you’ve only talked with online?
2. How important is making a good first impression? What types of small talk would be
most effective? How much information do you disclose about yourself at first
meeting?
3. There is the stereotype that men do a lot of “locker-room” talking about women.
Which gender do you think spends more time talking about potential partners with
friends? What might some differences be in the ways men and women approach these
conversations? Who gives more detailed information?
4. How do you think college or university students best like to communicate sexual
consent? What are the dangers of relying on nonverbal communication to determine
consent?
5. Muise’s study found that more time on Facebook was associated with higher levels of
jealousy. Do you think people who use Facebook are more likely to be jealous people,
or that using Facebook creates more jealousy?
6. What is the best way to break up with someone? To get over a breakup?
7. What types of sexual messages are the most difficult to communicate? Why?
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
Literature
Videos
(The websites for many of the major education video distribution companies are listed on
page 257 of this manual.)
Embracing Our Sexuality: Women Talk About Sex (1994, 45 min.). This video
contains the conversations of nine women who gather together for a weekend retreat to
talk about sexuality. The women range in age from their 20s to their 70s and come from
different racial/ ethnic backgrounds and sexual orientations. The women talk frankly
about sexual orientation, menstruation, masturbation, sexual fantasies, orgasms and the
effect of AIDS and sexual abuse on their lives. From New Day Films
Finding Our Way: Men Talk About Their Sexuality (1998, 38 min.). What do men
really want sexually? How did they learn about sex? How does sexual expression change
with age? This video follows the discussion of ten men who meet at a weekend retreat.
They range in age from twenty-seven to seventy-one and come from a variety of
backgrounds and sexual orientations. From New Day Films
Listening to Others (1987, 14 min.). This program addresses the importance of listening
and investigates some useful techniques for developing listening skills. From Films for
the Humanities and Sciences.
Men and Women talking together (1993, 58 min.). Deborah Tannen and Robert Bly
discuss power and patterns of communication. From Insight Media
Reading People: The Unwritten Language of the Body (1997, 23 min.). This video
examines different issues in communication from a cross-cultural perspective. From
Insight Media
Relationships: Knowing the Good from the Bad (1997, 36 min.). This program
teaches the key aspects of healthy relationships, including setting boundaries,
communicating clearly and assertively and maintaining self-respect. It also includes some
tips on when to leave unhealthy relationships. From HRM Video
Web Sites
http://health.discovery.com/centers/loverelationships/articles/communicate.html
Love and Relationship Center: Communication skills for lifelong relationships.
Communication for your health, Five ways to communicate without blame, Four
communication tools.
ACTIVITIES
Relationships
In mixed-gender groups of three to four students each, discuss the following questions
and ideas. After 20 minutes, one student from each group should summarize the small
group discussion to the class.
1. If men and women use the same date-seeking skills, will they be perceived
differently? Give examples.
2. Describe some of your experiences with jealous partners. What were the effects on
the relationship? Under what circumstances do you get jealous?
3. Why don't people end relationships that have a deteriorated beyond repair? Fear of
loneliness? Fear of not being part of a couple? Fear of not finding another partner?
Not wanting to be the one to take responsibility for ending the relationship?
4. Think about the intimate relationships you've had in which you cared deeply about
another person and you felt comfortable sharing your inmost feelings. How many of
these were with friends of the same sex? How many were with friends of the other
sex? With how many were you also romantically intimate?
Ask students to bring (anonymously) as many opening lines as they can select some of
them to be role-played and then ask them which lines they believe would be effective and
why. Are there gender differences?
Can even the most intimate partners be totally open and honest all of the time? On the
other hand, is complete frankness an idealized fantasy? What do you think? Critical
thinkers subject their ideas to careful scrutiny. One way of testing your ideas is by
gathering data, as in a personal experiment.
The purpose of the experiment is to evaluate whether you can maintain openness with
your partner for a prescribed period of time. Choose a time frame, say 30 minutes. Then,
with your partner’s cooperation, take turns reporting some, most, or all of what pops into
mind over the half hour. You might agree beforehand not to disclose embarrassing or
harmful information. However, each partner should keep a mental tally of such
information.
Afterwards, examine the results. Did you reveal everything? What did you hold back?
Were you surprised by how much came to mind? Did you lose patience with the
experiment before the half hour ran out? Even if you reported everything that crossed
your mind, would you be able to sustain it indefinitely? Would you or your partner want
this opportunity, or pressure, to be open all of the time?
While a personal experiment can be a valuable learning tool, remain skeptical about
your conclusions. After all, you are not exactly an unbiased observer.
Activity IV: What Did You Say? Delivering and Receiving Criticism
When you discuss the issue of criticism, ask students to write interpersonal situations
(meaningful to them) they have experienced in which they have received or deliver
criticism. Share some of these with the entire classroom or divide the class in small
groups. Ask students to suggest what was appropriate and/or inappropriate and to provide
suggestions on how to do it better.
Divide the classrooms in dyads and asked them to use non-verbal skills to communicate
different emotions. You can provide them with a list. The non-acting student should have
20 seconds to guess each emotion.
Anger
Disappointment
Happiness
Disbelief
Eroticism
Boredom
Inviting
Comforting
Scultura.
Per completare quanto è attinente alla scultura nel suo più esteso
significato, dovrei dire delle gemme. Qualche cenno ne ho fatto non
ha guari più sopra, parlando della glittica, e per non entrare in
maggiori particolari, ai quali assai si presterebbe il Museo Nazionale
di Napoli, per quanti oggetti si raccolsero negli scavi d’Ercolano e
Pompei, mi basti riassumerne in concetto generale il discorso; che
cioè anche in questo ramo dell’arte i Romani furono dapprima
imitatori de’ Greci, adottandone i soggetti e desumendoli da fatti