Lesson Plan 2.

Lesson Topic - Etiquette, Protocol and Social Usage

I. SOCIALS

A social is a gathering, a function, or a gathering. Socials take a very

wide variety of forms, ranging from afternoon tea or cocktails to a formal
dinner or reception. The main difference is the atmosphere of the occasion.
The host can suit the type to the kind of guests one intends to invite or to the
occasion one wishes to celebrate or commemorate.

Forms of Socials

A. Cocktails

1. Object or Purpose

Cocktails are tendered to introduce an official like a Military/Police

Attache, a passing official like a PNP Officer, a friend, or any person.
Sometimes, cocktails are held for a get-together or in reciprocation of
previous cocktail invitation.

2. Time Given

Cocktails are normally given from 1800 to 2000 Hours. However, the
time varies in different countries.

3. Requirements

a. Invitations

Normal informal invitations are issued with or without RSVPs or

pour memoirs. The practice in the US and Europe is to carry the
RSVPs in the invitations while in other countries like Thailand and
Taiwan, cocktail invitations normally do not carry the RSVPs.

b. Drinks

1) In the US and other countries, Scotch and bourbon whiskey with

water or soda are served. Mixed drinks like martinis, tom
Collins, gimlet, manhattan, gin and rum cocktails are also
served.
2) In European countries, Aperitifs or champagne are served.
Mixed or concocted drinks are not usually served.
3) Fruit juices must also be available for persons who cannot take
alcohol.

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 c. Canapes

Canapes or appetizers are usually served during cocktail parties.

They may be nuts, potato chips, pickles, small frankfurters, caviar
or shrimps. In the Philippines, they may be “dilis”, chunks of “tapa”,
barbecued pork or meat, fried “lumpia”, or clams. They can be as
elaborate as turkey or roast beef sandwiches. In American
cocktails, the guests usually make their own sandwiches out of
ingredients already available on the table. In Europe, sweet,
pastries, petit fours and ice cream are served.

4. Attire

Gentlemen usually wear business suits or “barong tagalong”. For

women, cocktail dress or any less formal attire may be worn although
nothing will preclude them from wearing “ternos”. The uniform is not
usually worn unless the occasion demands it. In which case, it is so
indicated in the invitation.

5. Duties of the Host and Hostess

a. The host and the hostess may or may not form a reception line.
They should circulate but they should be ready to meet their guests
as they come in at all times.
b. They should see to it that no guest is left alone to himself.
c. They must ensure everybody has a drink and that the canapés are
served around. If a table for canapés is provided, they must ensure
that all guests have access to it.

6. Duties of the Guest

a. The guest must meet the hosts, and the honourees if there is one,
upon arrival.
b. He must circulate and greet as many guests as is practicable. In a
small-sized party, he must meet or greet everybody.
c. He should keep or have a ready subject of conversation.
d. Upon departure , the guest must not forget to thank and bid to the
hosts, and the honouree if there is one.

B. Formal Dinner

1. Object or Purpose

A formal dinner has the same purpose as a cocktail party except that it
is done in a more serious or formal atmosphere.

2. Time Given

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 In most European countries and in the US, a formal dinner is tendered
within 2000 and 2030 Hours. In Asian countries, it is customarily given
between 1900 and 2000 Hours.

3. Requirements

a. Invitations

Invitations are issued with RSVPs.

b. What to Serve

A well-balanced menu with a dessert to match is served.

Appropriate are normally served.

4. Attire

The attire is usually stated in the invitations. If the nature is not

mentioned, the accepted formal wear in the locality is worn. In foreign
countries, it is always safe to find out the most acceptable attire for
occasions of this nature. In the locality, at least a coat and tie with white
shirt, or barong tagalong is worn. The barong tagalog when worn as a
formal attire should be pena or jusi in natural colors, and goes with black
tuxedo pants, black suspenders, linen undershirts with half sleeves, black
dresses studs, and black cuff links.

5. Duties of the Hosts

a. The hosts greet the guests as they come. It is good to say

something pleasant to each guest.
b. If a guest is now known, the hosts should present him/her to other
guests so that he/she may not left alone.
c. The hosts must inform the guests of the seating arrangement.
d. The hosts must show each of the guests equal and impartial
attention.
e. The hosts must keep the conversation going.
f. The hosts should accompany the guests to the door upon
departure.

6. Duties of the Guests

a. The guests must come on time.

b. The guests must greet the hosts and person being honoured, if any.
In greeting, the lady companion precedes the gentlemen.
c. The guests and their dinner companions must know the seating
arrangement.
d. The guests should not forget to thank and bid goodbye to the hosts,
and to the honouree, if there is any.

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 e. The honouree, if there is one, sends flowers before, during, or after
the occasion. It is a good form for the other guests to express their
thanks.

C. Informal Dinner

1. Object or Purpose

An informal dinner has the same object or purpose as a formal but is

held in a more relaxed atmosphere.

2. Time Given

In Europe (France), an informal dinner is tendered between 2000 and

2030 Hours. In the US and the Asian countries, it is customarily given
between 1900 and 2000 Hours.

3. Requirements

a. Invitations

Invitations for an informal dinner may be made by telephone,

telegraph note, informal fold-over card, or through a visiting card.
Telephone invitations should always be confirmed.

b. What to Serve

A well-balanced menu with a dessert to match is served. Appropriate

wines are normally served.

4. Attire

Business suits or their equivalents are used, unless prescribed in the

invitation, duties of the hosts and guests are the same as those in formal
dinners.

D. Reception

1. Object or Purpose

A reception is tendered in celebration of a national day, PNP Day, a

significant day, a personal day, or other special occasions.

2. Time Given

A reception may be tendered in the morning, at noon time (usually in

celebration of a National Holiday) or evening.

3. Requirements

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 a. Invitations

Formal or informal invitations may be issued depending on the

occasion.

b. What to serve

In an afternoon, light refreshments usually need the serving of two

or more courses with a hot dish.

4. Attire

Clothes usually worn in parties held at the same season and time of
the day may be worn. The appropriate attire is also governed by the
specific information indicated in the invitation.

5. Duties of the Hosts

A reception line is usually formed during a reception. It is the duty of

the hosts to be at the receiving line on time.

6. Duties of the guests

It is the duty of the guests to pass the reception line.

Wines

The Philippines not being a wine country, the appreciation for the
French real vintage wines is not keen. The need for wine here is not as strong
as those in cold countries. However, in spite of the fact that in the Philippines,
the etiquette on its proper service is a must for the well cultivated person.
There are few simple rules easy to remember to prevent embarrassment.

In America, the scotch or bourbon with soda water is a popular drink. In

formal gathering, the martini, manhattan, or old fashioned are often ordered.
Except in very formal gatherings, Americans are fond of serving wines during
the meals the way Europeans do. In France, the service of the wine is just a
part of the correct service of the meal on all occasions.

Prior to Meals

Aperitifs are served. Europeans usually served vermouths, dubbonet, port

or similar wines. Americans usually serve scotch or bourbon with soda or
water, martini, old fashioned and similar mixtures. Europeans are not fond of
concocting mixtures.

During Meals

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 1. White wines (chilled or cooled) are served with fish or similar seafoods,
or during seafood cocktails.
2. Red wines (room temperature) are served with meals, fowls, or similar
dishes. A special kind of purple wine is served with the cheese at the
end of the meal with cheese wine.
3. Champagne is usually served with dessert (Demesic). It can, however,
be served throughout the meal usually dry (brut) in place of both wine or
red wine .

After Meals

Liqueurs are served after meals usually with coffee. It is never served
at any other time. In general, one is not obliged to serve all the above. A fine
good simple wine, usually red, can suffice .As it has previously been started,
the elaboration of the service depends on the country where an officer may
find himself.

II. TABLE ETIQUETTE

TEACHING POINT 1 – Definition of Etiquette

 What is Etiquette?

 A set of rules that govern the expectations of social and

dining behavior in a workplace, group or society.
 Table manners are visible signs that you are a polished
and knowledgeable professional.
 Displaying manners is an act of kindness and respect to
your fellow human beings.

TEACHING POINT 2 – Manners at the Table

Controversial topics should be avoided at the dinner table. Talking

about accidents, illness, scandals and unaesthetic things should be avoided.
Conversation and laughter should always be toned down, but the hostess
must encourage these all around. Well-bred men and women talk pleasantly
with those who seem to be disengaged at any particular moment.

The left hand may be used to convey food with the fork if one has just
cut a piece of meat or fish with the knife. The continental fashion is accepted
everywhere. It is of course, entirely correct to use the right hand all the time
for conveying food. A combination of the two systems is currently acceptable.

In a small sit-down dinner, it is a good form to wait for the host to be

served, or wait for the host to begin.

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 It is ill-mannered for a guest to go to the table with a lighted cigarette in
his hand. Smoking is permitted only on the living room or library, and after the
conclusion of the meal.

Wiping the silver and plates with the napkin indicates poor manners.
Likewise, leaving the spoon in the cup, or looking for toothpicks, show lack of
breeding.

One must make sure his mouth is empty and his lips wiped clean
before taking any beverage. This will keep the rim of glasses and cups free
from ugly marks.

Napkins are placed on the lap by individual guests after the hostess
has taken hers. Dinner napkins are folded once (in half), while others are
spread out. At the end of the meal, the napkin must be laid to the left of the
plate. No attempt need be made to let it look neat, it should never be
refolded.

The soup spoon is filled from one side in an outwardly direction, that is,
away from the one who is eating. Convey to the mouth, the same side of the
spoon, never from the end or tip of the spoon. Again, one can easily tell
breeding in a person by just observing the manner he or she takes soup.

One should never stir up food or mix different items into the heap on
the plate. Gravy, for example, is used only for specific dishes and should not
be spread all over.

Chewing must be done quietly with the mouth closed.

Foreign particles taken with the food (stone or gravel) are removed with
the thumb and forefinger. Same thing is done with the fish bones and other
small bones.

Wet spoons should never be used to take sugar. The butter knife is
for butter only, the salad fork, for the salad only. The hostess sees to it that
silverware is adequate for every purpose.

No guest should deliberately ask for second helpings, but make sure
there is company. The experienced hostess immediately places an individual
guest at ease by providing the company herself.

It is but proper for a guest to take a little of every item offered at the
table. The guest’s favourable reaction to the food served is some
compensation to the hostess.

Elbows must never be placed on the table while someone is eating.

The feet must be flat on the floor.

When one has finished a certain course, or the meal itself, he places
the fork and the knife on the right side of the plate. The sharp side of the knife

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must face inward and the fork, with the tines up, is placed to the left of the
knife.

When using a finger bowl, the fingers of one hand are dipped lightly,
followed by the other hand. They are dried on the napkin, on the lap and not
on the surface of the table. In the use of the finger bowl, it is normally served
with the fruit plate.

One must be familiar with the manner of eating different kinds of

cooked food, vegetables and fruits. It adds a great deal to one’s poise to
know if a certain item is to be taken with a particular type of fork, with the
fingers, with a teaspoon or with the aid of a sharp knife.

When in doubt, follow the host.

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