Revision Matrix:

Text from my A comment or The change(s) I How this change

initial WP question I made to what I impacts my paper:
submission: (Note received (from initially wrote:
which WP) whom/where?)

WP1: Myself: Conversely, concerned with public This improves the

health, epidemiology examines the readability. Instead of
Conversely, epidemiology, concerned with I want to keep the prevalence and patterns of steroid having a clause
public health, examines the prevalence and subject and verb use within populations. interrupting the
patterns of steroid use within populations. close. subject and verb, I
moved it to before
‘epidemiology’.

WP1: Instructor and In doing so, the study identifies Combining these two
Myself: potential predictors of steroid use sentences makes it
Furthermore, the study identifies potential finding that… much more concise.
predictors of steroid use using logistic P3 feels similar to P1 Also, removing the
regression, a simple statistical method. It and P2. specifics of the
finds that 35% of the surveyed population statistics narrows the
reported steroid use, with factors such as… topics of this
paragraph, leaving it
to a later paragraph.

WP1: Myself: This is evident in the intricacy of Using a synonym of

the question at hand. complex instead,
This is evident in the complexity of the It sounds repetitive. keeps the writing
question at hand. fresh, making it sound
less repetitive.

WP1: Myself: The articles differ in the Adding what these

complexity and methods of differences mean
The articles differ in the complexity and Not a good topic analysis, reflecting their respective makes a better, more
methods of analysis. sentence. approaches. complete topic
sentence.

WP1: Instructor: S. Khullar, et al., "Prevalence and It makes my citations

Predictors of Anabolic-Androgenic correct and makes it It
S. Khullar, et al., "Prevalence and Use a different Steroid Use among Gym Users in is now easier to find
Predictors of Anabolic-Androgenic Steroid footnote for each Kuwait: A Preliminary Study," where I got the
Use among Gym Users in Kuwait: A citation. Journal of Health Research, 30 information.
Preliminary Study," Journal of Health (2016): 144.
Research, 30 (2016): 144-156.

WP1:
In the second article, the authors cite many
sources throughout the text.
WP1:
In summary, the exploration of
Anabolic-Androgenic Steroids through the
lenses of epidemiology and psychology
underscores their distinct focuses. While
epidemiology quantifies steroid use's
societal spread, psychology investigates its
behavioral impacts. Variations in structure,
citation styles, and references further
highlight the unique characteristics of each
discipline. Yet, both fields share a
commitment to objective and cautious
academic inquiry, reflecting the broader
principles of scientific research.
Khullar et al., "Prevalence and
Predictors," 144.
Instructor: In the psychology article, the This makes it easier
authors cite many sources for the reader to keep
The use of ‘second’ throughout the text. track of what article is
and ‘first’ to discussed.
reference articles is
confusing.
Instructor: In conclusion, the exploration of Now, the conclusion
Anabolic-Androgenic Steroids properly summarizes
Revise the conclusion through the lenses of epidemiology the argument and
and remind the reader and psychology underscores their reminds the reader of
what the differences distinct focuses. While what the variations
mean. epidemiology quantifies the spread indicate.
of steroid use in societies,
psychology investigates its
behavioral impacts. Variations in
structure, citation styles, and
references further highlight the
unique characteristics of each
discipline. Such differences in
conventions reflect the distinct
needs of each discipline and cater
to the unique audiences of each
discipline. As separate genres, they
have developed their own styles
and terminologies, tailored to
effectively communicate and fulfill
the needs of their respective
discourse communities. Yet, both
fields share a commitment to
objective and cautious academic
inquiry, reflecting the broader
genre of scientific research.
WP1: Instructor: ● “The global epidemiology Now the quotes look
of anabolic-androgenic much better and are
“The global epidemiology of Incorrect usage of steroid use: a correctly used and
anabolic-androgenic steroid use: a block quotes meta-analysis and cited.
meta-analysis and meta-regression meta-regression analysis,”
analysis”,

WP2: Instructor: Mirroring this interdisciplinary Now the word is

approach, the use of the Chicago… properly cased,
Mirroring this interdisciplinary approach, The ‘T’ in ‘The’ ensuring correctness.
The use of the Chicago… should be lowercase.

WP2: Myself: ….while acknowledging their Now, with these two

….while acknowledging their shared
pursuit of objective scientific.
Both articles discuss the topic of
steroid use, but they adopt distinctly
different approaches, reflective of their
respective disciplines' objectives….
shared pursuit of objective transitional sentences,
The transition from scientific. the reader is guided to
the introduction to the Let's explore this through a specific the second paragraph,
second paragraph is example in epidemiological expecting what will
very choppy. research. be discussed.
Consider the study on
steroid use among gym-goers in
Kuwait, which follows traditional
epidemiological methods. Both
articles discuss the topic of steroid
use, but they adopt distinctly
different approaches, reflective of
their respective disciplines'
objectives….
WP2:
The audience of infographics is not
properly discussed.
WP2:
Throughout this translation process, there
were multiple concerns I had to consider.
Firstly, I had to figure out who the audience
was and what they were concerned with. I
had to answer questions like “What are the
goals of the discourse community,” and
“Who are the different audiences?” And so,
audience awareness is a crucial skill to have
and develop. In the case of infographics, the
audience is broad and less specialized,
requiring a simplification of terms and data.
This ties into the second concern and skill
required: awareness of specialized terms.
Instructor: Now a new paragraph is added With this new
between paragraphs 7 and 8: paragraph, the reader
It would also have is introduced to who
been helpful to see Understanding the target audience the audiences of
more of a discussion is key in this translation process, as infographics are.
of who the audience it shapes the design and content of
for the translation the infographic. This awareness
was. explains the conventions that
define infographics. In the case of
my infographic on steroid use
among gym-goers, the audience
differs significantly from that of
the academic article. This audience
is broader including gym
enthusiasts, college students,
parents, and social media users.
Since they might lack the
specialized knowledge of
epidemiologists, simple language
and an engaging presentation style
should be used. This is the reason
why infographics tend to simplify
scientific jargon. Additionally,
given that infographics are
primarily consumed online, they
must be eye-catching and short, or
else social media users will not
even read them. For this reason,
text is minimized in infographics,
and attractive visuals and simple
statistics tend to be used. With a
clear grasp of audience
expectations, we can now delve
into the translation process itself.
Myself: While creating the infographic, I Now, this revised
faced several challenges that paragraph is
The second to last required specific skills. The developed. It properly
paragraph that primary concern was figuring out discusses the concerns
discusses the how to structure the infographic. and skills needed.
concerns is How would I structure the
underdeveloped information to make it engaging
and fitting to its audience? Here,
the skill of ‘reading like a writer’
as described by Mike Bunn is
essential. The ability to ignore the
content momentarily and locate the
“most important writerly
choices…to consider the effect of
those choices on potential readers”
Realizing that the audiences for the two is golden. It is that skill that helped
genres of articles and infographics are me figure out what conventions of
different, I had to identify what terms were infographics were effective and
concerned with the discourse community of which were bendable. By
the article and therefore had to be examining example infographics
simplified. Lastly, I think the skill of critical through a writer's lens and learning
thinking in general is crucial for translation. from their techniques, my ability to
For example, thinking critically guided and craft an impactful infographic was
helped me decide which elements were significantly enhanced. On the flip
essential for the lay audience of side, the next challenge was to
infographics to understand the study’s discern which elements of the
findings. academic article would resonate
with and be understood by the
infographic's broader audience.
This required an awareness of the
audience, beyond just the writer's
perspective. I had to answer
questions like “What are the goals
of the discourse community,” and
“Who are the different audiences?”
It is this awareness and those
questions that helped me identify
the lay audience of infographics.
Not only that, but it is this skill that
also helped me figure out “what to
include and what to omit based
upon the expectations of the
audience.”

WP2: Instructor: Mike Bun and Janet Boyd are Mentioning the ideas
referenced now. of these two writers
For the reading, only Dan Melzer and You could have now shows how the
Morgan Smith are referenced. expanded more on readings helped guide
how the readings my translation.
helped.
WP2 (Translation): Instructor and Steroids Now my translation
Myself: aligns with the
AAS growth of breast tissue convention of
Audience may not simplifying jargon.
Gynecomastia. recognize specialized The broad audience of
terms. Infographics will now
understand better.

WP2: Instructor and Now the bar graph has percentages This addition makes it
Myself: on each bar, and a percent symbol clear what the data
Common Side effects with simple bar graph below it. presented means.
What do these bars
mean, are they
percentage?