SAFETY CHEAT SHEET

INTRODUCTION:
WELCOME, BROTHER. THIS CHEAT SHEET IS A COMPANION TO OUR
MASTERCLASS, DESIGNED TO ASSIST YOU IN HONORING AND CREATING A SAFE
SPACE WHERE YOU AND YOUR PARTNER CAN BOTH THRIVE IN THE
RELATIONSHIP. IN THIS WORKSHEET, YOU WILL DISCOVER THE THREE CORE
ELEMENTS, AND THE BENEFITS AND CHALLENGES OF THE ONE PRACTICE THAT
WILL SUPPORT YOU IN FOSTERING SAFETY IN THE RELATIONSHIP.

TRUSTWORTHY CONSISTENCY
DEMONSTRATING PREDICTABLE, DEPENDABLE ACTIONS
AND REACTIONS OVER TIME, THEREBY BUILDING A
FOUNDATION OF TRUST.TRUST IS THE BACKBONE OF
ANY INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP. WITHOUT CONSISTENT
TRUSTWORTHINESS, INTIMACY CAN'T THRIVE.

EMOTIONAL AVAILABILITY
BEING PRESENT AND OPEN TO SHARE AND RECEIVE
EMOTIONS WITHOUT RESERVATION OR JUDGMENT.FOR
DEEP CONNECTION, PARTNERS NEED TO FEEL THEY CAN
SHARE THEIR INNERMOST FEELINGS AND BE MET WITH
UNDERSTANDING.

ASSERTIVE PRESENCE
CLEARLY COMMUNICATING ONE'S NEEDS, DESIRES, AND
BOUNDARIES WITHOUT BEING AGGRESSIVE OR
PASSIVE.ENSURES MUTUAL RESPECT AND
UNDERSTANDING IN THE RELATIONSHIP, REPLACING
AMBIGUITY WITH TRANSPARENCY.

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 RELATIONSHIP CHECK-INS
WHAT IT'S ABOUT:
THE "RELATIONSHIP CHECK-IN" IS A DEDICATED TIME
EACH WEEK, BEST IF KEPT CONSISTENT, WHERE
PARTNERS INTENTIONALLY CREATE A SAFE SPACE. THIS
IS THE MOMENT TO COMMUNICATE NEEDS, EXPRESS
DESIRES, SET BOUNDARIES, AND SHARE FEELINGS
ABOUT THE RELATIONSHIP'S DYNAMICS..

TOP 5 BENEFITS:
1. DEEPENED INTIMACY: AS PARTNERS SHARE OPENLY, THEY
FOSTER A BOND THAT GOES BEYOND THE SURFACE.

2. ENHANCED UNDERSTANDING: BY REPEATEDLY EXPLORING

EXERCISES SUCH AS FEARS, LOVES, AND DESIRES, PARTNERS
GAIN INSIGHTS INTO EACH OTHER'S INNER WORLD.

3. STRENGTHENED COMMUNICATION: THE PRACTICE

CULTIVATES LISTENING AND SPEAKING SKILLS ESSENTIAL FOR
HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS.

4. EMOTIONAL HEALING: ADDRESSING AND SHARING

UNRESOLVED ISSUES CAN LEAD TO HEALING AND CLOSURE.

5. TRUST BUILDING: THE PRACTICE REINFORCES TRUST AS

PARTNERS HOLD SPACE FOR EACH OTHER WITHOUT
JUDGMENT.

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 CHALLENGES
REMEMBER
FOR MANY, THIS EXERCISE MIGHT BE TOUGH. LISTENING TO YOUR
PARTNER DISCUSS SENSITIVE TOPICS COULD AWAKEN STRONG
REACTIONS WITHIN YOU. HOWEVER, IT'S CRUCIAL TO VIEW THIS
NOT JUST AS A MEANS TO ENHANCE YOUR INTIMACY, BUT ALSO AS
AN OPPORTUNITY TO CULTIVATE SELF-AWARENESS. TUNE INTO
WHAT'S UNFOLDING WITHIN YOUR MIND, BODY, SOUL, AND
HEART..

NAVIGATING THE CHALLENGES OF THE PRACTICE:

1. VULNERABILITY: REVEALING DEEP EMOTIONS MIGHT FEEL
EXPOSING BUT REMEMBER THAT VULNERABILITY IS THE
GREATEST EXPRESSION OF BRAVERY.

2. REACTIVITY: THE URGE TO DEFEND OR EXPLAIN ONESELF

CAN DISRUPT THE FLOW. NOTICE THE REACTIVITY IN YOUR
BODY AND BREATHE.

3. SURFACE-LEVEL RESPONSES: MOVING PAST GENERIC

ANSWERS TAKES EFFORT. THIS REQUIRES HONESTY.

4. MAINTAINING NON-JUDGMENTAL LISTENING: KEEPING

OPINIONS AT BAY IS CHALLENGING. REMEMBER THIS IS WHAT
IT'S ALL ABOUT

5. EMOTIONAL OVERWHELM: THE PRACTICE MIGHT EVOKE

STRONG EMOTIONS. AGAIN, THIS IS AN OPPORTUNITY TO
IDENTIFY THEM.

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 FEAR, LOVES, AND DESIRES -
DEEP DIVE CONNECTION
PRACTICE

SETTING:

SIT FACE-TO-FACE, ROUGHLY 6-12 INCHES APART (15-30CM).

CREATE A SERENE ENVIRONMENT. CONSIDER LIGHTING A CANDLE OR
PLAYING SOFT BACKGROUND MUSIC.

ROLES:

ASKER: YOUR ROLE IS TO INQUIRE, LISTEN, AND HOLD SPACE.

RESPONDER: YOUR ROLE IS TO DIVE DEEP INTO YOUR FEELINGS AND SHARE
AUTHENTICALLY.

GUIDELINES:

1. NO DIVERSIONS: AS THE QUESTION ASKER, MAINTAIN CONSISTENCY IN

YOUR QUESTIONING. USE THE SAME PHRASE EACH TIME TO ENCOURAGE
DEPTH IN YOUR PARTNER'S RESPONSES.
2. ACTIVE LISTENING: NO FIXING, NO ADVICE, NO JUDGMENT. EMBRACE
SILENCE, AND SHOW EMPATHY. THE MAGIC LIES IN PROVIDING AN
UNDISTRACTED LISTENING EAR.
3. DEPTH OVER SURFACE: AS THE RESPONDER, IF YOU FEEL YOU'VE REACHED
AN EMOTIONAL "END", TAKE A MOMENT. CLOSE YOUR EYES, BREATHE, AND
DIVE DEEPER. NEW LAYERS OF EMOTION OFTEN RESIDE BENEATH THE INITIAL
ONES.
4. DURATION: SET A TIMER FOR A PRE-AGREED TIME (IDEALLY 3 MINUTES). THE
ASKER CONTINUES WITH THE REPEATED QUESTION UNTIL THE TIMER RINGS.
AND THEN YOU SWITCH ROLES.

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 FEAR, LOVES, AND DESIRES -
DEEP DIVE CONNECTION
PRACTICE

TRAINING:

FOR EACH OF THE SECTION FEAR, LOVES AND DESIRES, THIS IS HOW YOU
WILL GO ABOUT:

PARTNER A STARTS BY ASKING PARTNER B:

"WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF?"

AFTER EACH RESPONSE, PARTNER A SAYS “THANK YOU” AND REPEATS THE
QUESTION. PARTNER B ANSWERS UNTIL A NATURAL STOP, EVEN IF PARTNER B
NO LONGER FINDS AND ANSWER, THEY CAN CLOSE THEIR EYES AND FEEL THE
QUESTION, USUALLY A NEW ANSWER WILL COME UP.

ALLOCATE 2-3 MINUTES FOR THIS. ONCE THE TIMER STOPS, SWITCH ROLES
AND REPEAT THE QUESTION: "WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF?" UNTIL THE TIMER
STOPS.

FOLLOW THE SAME ROUTINE FOR:

WHAT DO YOU LOVE ABOUT ME?

WHAT DOES YOUR HEART DESIRE?

POST-EXERCISE REFLECTION: AFTER FINISHING THE EXERCISE, SPEND A FEW

MINUTES SHARING ABOUT THE EXPERIENCE OR MOVE ON TO THE NEXT
EXERCISE, LOVE MAKING OR YOU CAN END THE CHECK-IN.

REMEMBER, THE POWER OF "FEAR, LOVES, AND DESIRES" COMES FROM ITS
SIMPLICITY, REPETITION, AND THE DEPTH OF CONNECTION IT CULTIVATES.
ENJOY THE JOURNEY INTO EACH OTHER'S HEARTS.

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