ADVANCED

Let's Talk About Toxic Positivity

https://laurenhey.com/2021/02/08/lets-talk-about-toxic-positivity/

WARM UP

1. Look at the image below and discuss the questions with a partner:

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a) What kind of advice is the woman being given?

b) How is she reacting to it?

c) Have you ever been through hard times and was given advice such like this? How did
you react? Was it useful?

d) Are you good at giving others advice?

e) Are there effective ways to help people around us when they need? Which ones?
READING

1.You are going to read a blog post about toxic positivity. Before you read it, discuss with a
partner and tick the sayings that are considered toxic positivity.

( ) "You will get over it."

( ) "It is hard but I believe in you."
( ) "It is okay to feel bad sometimes."
( )"Good vibes only!"
( ) "Always look at the bright side."
( ) "Failure is part of growth."
( ) "Failure is not an option."
( ) "Things can get really tough. I am here for you."
( ) "Think happy thoughts."
( ) "How can I support you?"
( ) "It could be worse."

2.Now read the article. Ignore the gaps. Would you keep or change any of your
answers to the previous exercise?

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3.Choose the best word to complete the gaps.

a. awful / harmful / joyful

b. unique / unequal / inherently

c. detrimental / impactful / changeable

d. standard / practice / humor

e. real / grateful / shameful

f. begin / prompt / initiate

g. concern / worried / overwhelmed

4. What is the author's main purpose?

a. To give a testimonial telling how she overcame her own fears during the
pandemic.
b. To alert people about the dangers of toxic positivity.
c. To define toxic positivity and to instruct readers on how to avoid it.
Let’s Talk About Toxic Positivity
8TH FEB 2021 BY LAURENHEY

In the throws of the third lockdown, positivity became my enemy.

Quite frankly, I decided that I was fed up of hearing negative reinforcements of toxic positivity, and
the a. h___________
armful ?? notion of ‘good vibes only’ was starting to take its toll on my mental health.
inherently
Whilst I don’t doubt the fact that these messages came from an b. ___________ good place – I mean,
impactful
aren’t we all taught that positivity is good? – I couldn’t help but recognise the c. __________ effects
they were having upon myself and others.
I realised that regardless of its supposed well-intent, this growing movement was beginning to set a
confusing and unhealthy d. _______.
standard Its phrases were appearing in the vocabulary of thousands and
it acted as an unspoken and mental moral code. It was the foundation of a culture that supported
the never-ending advocacy to ‘feel good’ even when you don’t.
But what exactly is toxic positivity? And what about it makes it so toxic?

Toxic positivity is a damaging movement that encourages people to ‘stay positive’ in times of
complete and utter despair. The pandemic, therefore, has been a huge catalyst for a cultural rise in
the use of toxic positivity. Headlines upon headlines of suffering people, deaths and trauma have
started to become an unhelpful springboard for invalidating feelings. This is because we draw e.

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___________
shameful comparisons and use what seem to be innocent phrases such as ‘it could be worse’
and ‘look on the bright side’ as a way to provide comfort. Yet they do not offer the support we need.
Why? Because rather than help us manage our feelings better, they belittle and put them into
question.

Now, I’m not suggesting that positivity is not an impactful and helpful attitude – it is. But perhaps
our ‘somebody always has it worse’ approach is in fact achieving the opposite of what it is trying to.

Not only does it strip away any validation of our feelings, it also causes us to feel guilt and/or shame
at expressing our feelings which now seem small by comparison. For example, complaining that
you’re having a bad day at work and then being reminded that millions of people are now
prompt
unemployed may well f. _________ feelings of guilt and shame. Subsequently, this may lead you to
believing that you’re selfish – which you’re not – or that your bad day, in fact, doesn’t even come
close to the hardships faced by more unfortunate people up and down the country.

concern for those in

Complaining that you’re having a bad day does not mean that you do not feel g. ______
greater need. Believe it or not, you CAN feel both; there isn’t an objective scale for pain and
suffering.

So, bringing you a public service announcement from the Feel Good Club.
It’s not sustainable or realistic to be happy every single day.
Please remember that:
✨ Your feelings ARE valid.
✨ You can have a bad day at work AND still be grateful to have a job.
✨ You can feel tired, stressed and anxious about the pandemic AND still be thankful you are
healthy.
Using ‘and’ instead of ‘but’ is a great way to practice validating our own feelings. Try it!
What are your tips for dealing with and avoiding toxic positivity?
TALKING POINT
a) What was the author's attitude about positivity at first?

b) What is her definition of toxic positivity? How has the pandemic increased it?

c) What is the problem with sayings like "it could be worse"?

d) Comment: "It’s not sustainable or realistic to be happy every single day."

e) Have you ever been affected by toxic positivity? How?

f) Do you consider the blog post to be useful for people's mental health? Yes/No (Why?)

g) How can you answer the author's final question?

VOCABULARY

1. Find in the post a word that means:

a. The base of an idea: ________________

foundation
utter
b. Complete or extreme: ______________

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catalyst
c. Something that causes great change ______________

d. Unlucky: unfortunate
_______________

whilst
e. While: _________________

f. Support for an idea: _______________

advocacy
belittle
g. To make your or someone's actions not important: _________________

2. Match the phrasal verbs / expressions to their meanings:

a. fed up ( c ) to cause doubts about something

b. take a toll on sth ( b ) to cause harm
c. put sth into question ( a ) bored, annoyed, or disappointed.
d. strip away ( d ) to gradually reduce something important

3. Complete the conversation questions with an expression from 2, then discus them with
a partner. You may change some verb forms.

a. Have you ever _________ some habit or behavior of yours ______ _______? Why?
b. Do you agree that people's real feelings are sometimes _________ __________ by
excessive amounts of positive messages, self-help and online information?
c. Is there any kind of toxic positivity making you _________ _______ with?
d. How have social medias been _________ __ ________ on people's mental health?
GRAMMAR POINT

The blog post is full of discourse markers. Here are some of them:

I realised that regardless of its supposed well-intent, this growing movement was
beginning to set a confusing and unhealthy standard.

The pandemic, therefore, has been a huge catalyst for a cultural rise in the use of toxic
positivity.

Yet they do not offer the support we need.

Subsequently, this may lead you to believing that you’re selfish.

With a partner, try to guess what the underlined discourse markers mean.

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1.Now, choose the best definition for discourse markers:

a. a word or group of words that combines with a noun or pronoun to form a phrase

b. a word or a phrase that plays a role in managing the flow and structure of discourse

2. Complete the sentences with a discourse marker from the list. You may want to check
their meaning before doing the exercise.

therefore - regardless - due to - nevertheless - subsequently - despite - yet

a. The plan for a new office building went ahead _____________ of local opposition.
b. The exercise was simple _______ effective.
c. He was badly injured in the crash and _________________ died.
d. We were unable to get funding and _______________ had to abandon the project.
e. I knew a lot about the subject already, but her talk was interesting ____________.
f. The bus was delayed ________ heavy snow.
g. I still enjoyed the week __________ the weather.
SPEAKING AND WRITING

Look at the image, that shows examples of toxic positivity. With a partner, try to
rephrase them into validating ones. Then access the link and check it. Compare your
sayings with the ones in the picture.

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https://www.cathduncan.com/how-to-avoid-toxic-positivity-and-offer-hope-and-belonging-instead/