Drafting 101

Writing a First Draft

Set intermediate or small goals.

Write daily.
Become familiar with
conventions and jargon.
Write an outline or use other
kinds of idea generation.
Freewrite
Cluster diagram
Outline

Sample cluster diagram

Sample Outline

How do Female Physicians Balance Work

and Family?
Introduction/Why is this study important?

I.

I.
II.

More women are working

More physicians are women

Issues

II.

I.

Physicians (mostly males, not much literature on females)

I.
II.
III.

II.

All working women

Strategies

III.

I.
II.
III.
IV.
IV.
V.

I.
II.
III.
VI.

Role Conflict
Identity Issues
Gender Attitudes

Life
Workplace
Home
Juggling

Methods
Results/Discussion
Role Conflict
Identity Issues
Gender Attitudes

Conclusions

Writing a First Draft

contd

Dont expect perfection.

Write what you can.
Save any problems for
later.
Leave yourself notes.

Write in a natural style.

Write the introduction
last.

Writing Additional
Drafts
Writing is never done. Its just
due.

Take a break.
Print a copy to read.
Read your draft aloud.
Ask someone else to read
your draft.

Writing Additional Drafts

contd

Work from higher-level concerns to

lower-level concerns.
Find and evaluate your thesis.
Write an abstract and compare it with
your text.
Write a scratch outline.
OR consider post-outlining your draft.
Look at paragraph function.
Check for topic sentences.

Writing Additional Drafts

contd

Keep a record of consistent problems.

Dont rely on computer-based spell or
grammar check.
If time is short, concentrate on sections
most likely to be read.

Revising Paragraphs:

Effective paragraphs
are:

Well-developed

Unified

Coherent

Revising Paragraphs:
Strategies for Improving Unity

Eliminate unrelated information.

Add relevant information.

Separate ideas and develop them in

different paragraphs.

Rewrite your topic sentence.

Revising Paragraphs:
Strategies for Improving
Coherence

Move from old to new

information.

Use stock transitional phrases.

Use pronouns and/or recycling.

Start sentences with short, easily

understood phrases.

Revising Paragraphs:
Coherence Example

Which of the following paragraphs flow better? Why?

A. Some astonishing questions about the nature of the

universe have been raised by scientists studying black
holes in space. The collapse of a dead star into a point
perhaps no larger than a marble creates a Black Hole.
So much matter compressed into so little volume
changes the fabric of space around it in puzzling ways.

B. Some astonishing questions about the nature of the

universe have been raised by scientists studying black
holes in space. A Black Hole is created by the collapse
of a dead star into a point perhaps no larger than a
marble. So much matter compressed into so little
volume changes the fabric of space around it in
puzzling ways.

Revising Paragraphs:
Example

Soils represent major sinks for metals like cadmium

that are released into the environment. Soil does
not have an infinite capacity to absorb metal
contaminants, and when this capacity is exhausted,
environmental consequences are incurred.
Contamination of soils by cadmium and other
heavy metals has become a global concern in
recent years because of the increasing demands of
society for food production, waste disposal, and a
healthier environment. The main causes of
cadmium contamination in soils are amendment
materials (e.g., municipal waste sludge) and fallout
from nonferrous metal production and power plants.
What problems (with development, unity, or
coherence) can you see in this paragraph?

Revising Paragraphs:
Examplecontd

Such sources as mines, smelters, power plants,

and municipal waste treatment facilities release
metals into the environment. These heavy
metals, especially cadmium, then find their way
into the soil. The soil does not have an infinite
capacity to absorb these metals. Instead,
unabsorbed metals move through the soil into
the groundwater or are extracted by crops that
take the contamination into the food chain.
How does this revision correct the previous
problems?

Exercise 2:
Revising Paragraphs
The power to create and communicate a new
message to fit a new experience is not a
competence animals have in their natural states.
Their genetic code limits the number and kind
of messages that they can communicate.
Information about distance, direction, source,
and richness of pollen in flowers constitutes the
only information that can be communicated by
bees, for example. A limited repertoire of
messages delivered in the same way, for
generation after generation, is characteristic of
animals of the same species, in all significant
respects.

Revising Sentences :
Hierarchy

Use subordination to emphasize

information or demonstrate causality.
Subordinating conjunctions: after, although,
as, as if, because, before, even if, even
though, if, if only, rather than, since, that,
though, unless, until, when, where,
whereas, wherever, whether, which, while
Example:
Although production costs have declined,
they are still high.

Revising Sentences:
Hierarchy

Avoid modifiers with

unclear or missing
subjects.
Example:
After reaching northern
Alaska or the Arctic Islands,
breeding occurs in the
lowlands.
Revised: After reaching
northern Alaska or the Arctic
Islands, the swans breed in
the lowlands.

Revising Sentences:
Parallelism

Make sure the structure

of your sentence fits
the concept.

Use parallel structure

for phrases and items
in lists.

Revising Sentences:
Parallelism Example

The valving improvements we seek

will increase reliability, accessibility,
and maintenance and allow
application to all sizes of valves.
Revised: The valving improvements
we seek will increase reliability and
accessibility, decrease
maintenance, and allow application
to all sizes of valves.

Improving Word Choice

and Conciseness

Avoid empty words

Avoid unnecessary
repetition

Limit the use of

passive voice

Eliminate unnecessary
nominalizations

Improving Word Choice

and Conciseness: Some
Tips

identify empty words and unnecessary

repetition.
Circle forms of the verb to be to
check for passive voice and
nominalizations.
Revise.
Eliminate empty words and repetition
Make the character the subject of the
sentence.
Replace to be with an active verb.

Improving Word Choice

and Conciseness:
Example

As far as I am concerned, because of the fact

that a situation of discrimination continues to
exist in the field of medicine, women have not
at the present time achieved equality with men.
Revised: Because of continuing gender
discrimination in medicine, women have yet to
achieve equality with men.

Revising and Getting

Help Collaboratively

Readers
Ask questions about audience
Look at overall argument, as well
as paragraph and sentence
structure
Be specific with criticism and
praise
Describe the effect of the writing
on you
Writers
Ask for clarification
Be open to suggestions