Job 

Aid

Assertive Communication
Purpose: Use this job aid to review requirements for assertive communication.

Assertive behavior and communication meets three key requirements: it's honest and straightforward, it's
respectful of others' needs and feelings, and it uses appropriate body language and tone.

Being honest and straightforward

Being honest and straightforward involves

 knowing your own emotions and expressing them honestly

 expressing opinions with "I" statements to take ownership of them
 using accurate descriptions rather than judgments or exaggerations, and
 using direct language

Being respectful of others' needs and feelings

Being respectful of others' needs and feelings involves

 starting with a positive point

 showing respect for the other person's position and perspective, and
 presenting your opinion in a neutral manner, without being abrasive

A good example of an assertive statement that's respectful of others is "In my opinion, your first step
works very well, but I'd like to take go over some possible alternatives for step two, particularly since
we're implementing it in a new context." This begins with a positive, takes ownership of the opinion being
expressed, and presents the speaker's opinion in a neutral manner.

Using assertive body language and tone

Using assertive body language and tone involves

 sitting or standing upright, with straight shoulders but a relaxed posture

 displaying a comfortable demeanor
 using calm hand gestures
 having a genuine smile with little blinking
 using facial expressions appropriate for the content of your message
 using a calm and resonant voice, and
  using a neutral pitch

 Aggressive, Assertive, and Passive Behavior

 Purpose: Use this job aid to review the differences between aggressive, assertive, and
passive behavior.

Characteristics of different behaviors

Assertive behavior Aggressive behavior Passive behavior

Voice an opinion without interrupting Are likely to talk over other Rarely state views or feelings; they keep
or talking over others people's heads and interrupt to these to themselves
make a point

Begin, end, and change the topic of Are usually pushy and overbearing Are likely to follow rather than initiate
a conversation without being rude in a conversation conversations

Express what other people want Tell others what to do and how to Rarely say what they want, or do so
think indirectly

Express a view or opinion Are likely to express a view without Are unable to express a view confidently
confidently and tactfully tact and end up being offensive

Show open and relaxed posture, Tend to glare or stare, cross their Tend to speak softly, slouch, and appear
make appropriate eye contact, and arms, speak loudly, and invade withdrawn
speak in a pleasant tone others' personal space

Resolve problems or stressful Are unable to resolve problems or Can't resolve problems or stressful
situations calmly and efficiently stressful situations and likely to situations because of a lack of confidence
make them worse

Have open and honest relationships Have awkward relationships with Have difficulty developing open and
with coworkers and establish mutual coworkers because they are honest relationships with coworkers
respect with them intimidating or offensive because they rarely say how they feel

Make decisions to try and suit Make decisions without taking Make decisions that suit everyone but
everybody and take all views into anyone else's views into themselves
consideration consideration

Question rules that seem unfair or Question rules that are unfair, as Are unable to question rules, even if they
inappropriate well as rules that are fair and feel that they're unfair or inappropriate
appropriate

Decline requests that can't be met Decline requests even they can be Are unable to decline requests, even if
met they can't meet those requests

Accept compliments and Accept compliments but not Are unable to accept compliments
constructive criticism constructive criticism

Ask for help or assistance Are unable to ask for help politely Are unable to ask for help or assistance
and instead push people around to
get assistance

 Course: Interpersonal Communication: Communicating Assertively