FINAL REPORT Lesson Study: Designing Narrative Writing Strategy for Low and Average Ability Upper Secondary

Students

Team Members: Mohamad Shalleh Bin Sujaee Noranika Murni Dol Karim Nur Maizurah Rosle Lila Salleh

Abstract A good piece of narrative writing has a number of features. Students who lack in language proficiency struggle to write good narrative writing. Our lesson study team seeks to design narrative writing strategy for low and average ability upper secondary students in preparing them for the Malay Language (ML) Paper 1 O level examination. To achieve our aim, we draw our experiences from three sources: (a) marking O level answer scripts, (b) teaching mixed average and low ability upper secondary school students, and (c) experimenting ideas during classroom instruction as we improve and fine-tuned our strategy. Our investigation is guided by the following research questions: (1) What are the expectations of a Band 1 ML O level narrative writing?; (2) What are the writing limitations of our average and low ability upper secondary students?; (3) How to design a narrative writing strategy that takes into account these limitations?; and (4) How best to teach the strategy to the said groups of students? Findings from our research have implications for theory, practice, and policy, specifically with regards to the teaching of MT in schools. For this report, we present findings and deliberations from the first phase of our research - how to design strategy for writing the introduction.

GOAL SELECTION Our Goal Our PLC team seeks to design narrative writing strategy for low and average ability upper secondary students in preparing them for the ML Paper 1 O level examination. Our targeted group are the 17 Sec 3 Express students from Sec 3E, 3F, 3G, & 3H from Compassvale Secondary School (2012 cohort). Rationale We1 choose to design narrative writing strategy over argumentative and descriptive writings because narrative writing question is popular among students during O Level ML Paper 1 Examination2. Even students in our targeted group are confident that that can do better if they
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The narrative writing strategy was designed by Mr Mohamad Shalleh, who also wrote this report. Mdm Noranika Murni and Ms Nur Maizurah served as critical friends and carried out the strategy with classes. 2 Observations are based on our experiences marking O level scripts for past several years

FINAL REPORT choose narrative writing compared to argumentative or descriptive writing during examination3. They feel that narrative questions are easily understood and they have had the experience writing narrative writing since their English teachers also emphasize on narrative writing. Based on previous students works, we concur that they scored better for narrative writing when compared to argumentative writing and descriptive writing. We notice that they lack rhetorical skills and language proficiency to write good argumentative writing. Their limited vocabulary and repertoire of descriptive phrases hinders them from doing well for descriptive writing. Action Plan To achieve our goal, we draw our experiences from three sources: (a) marking O level answer scripts, (b) teaching mixed average and low ability upper secondary school students, and (c) experimenting ideas during classroom instruction as we improve and fine-tuned our strategy. Our investigation is guided by the following research questions: 1. What are the expectations of a Band 1 ML O level narrative writing? 2. What are the writing limitations of our average and low ability upper secondary students? 3. How to design a narrative writing strategy that takes into account these limitations? 4. How best to teach the strategy to the said group of students? Limitation Successful delivery of our research goal requires a considerable amount of time and work for careful deliberations. As such, we can only document findings and deliberations of the first phase of our research due to the constraint of the two lessons format in this report. The first phase of our research focuses on two parts: (a) setting the story theme and (b) designing strategy for the introduction of a narrative writing. We choose to present the latter in this report. Nevertheless, we plan to document a full-report of our research findings on other sharing platform in the future. Guiding Principle The writing strategy we envision is one that balances (a) the need to fulfil the expectations of Band 1 ML O level narrative writing with (b) the writing limitations of our average and low ability upper secondary students and (c) insights gleamed from experimenting ideas during classroom instruction as we improve and fine-tuned our strategy.

PLANNING 14 Expectations of Band 1 ML O Level Narrative Writing We identify three expectations of Band 1 ML O level narrative writing: (a) story themes that deals with matured issues beyond adolescence and school situations; (b) scripts that answer the question correctly; and (c) story that are interesting and engages the reader. Students who scored
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Need analysis conducted with our targeted group prior to research The planning and delivery of the lessons were carried out by Mr Mohamad Shalleh.

FINAL REPORT poorly often failed to show connection between their writings with the question and wrote predictable story lines that centred on petty adolescence and school issues. Writing Limitations of the Targeted Group The targeted group of students are poor in ML proficiency and lack good writing skills. Poor language proficiency is a limitation that is persistent in nature despite several teaching interventions. Students limited vocabulary and their tendency to adapt sentence structures in English into ML are examples. These shortcomings are manifestations of the growing use of English at home among students which alienates the use of ML5. Lack of good writing skills are limitations that can be eradicated. For the targeted group, these limitations includes (a) writing story line that are illogical because of gaps in narration, (b) limiting to only chronological narration, (c) lacking in narrative elements (like dialog and monolog), and (d) having inconclusive story messages in writing. Students can overcome these limitations by subscribing to a good writing strategy. Expectations of a Band 1 ML O level narrative writing Theme that deals with matured issues beyond adolescence and school situations Answer the question correctly Writing limitations of targeted group Proposed moves that balance both the expectations and limitations

Poor language proficiency Persistent in nature (despite several teaching interventions) Limited vocabulary Adapting sentence structures in English into ML

Story Theme Setting the story backdrop by choosing serious issues even if they are situated in adolescence and school situations

Focus of this report Introduction Attracting readers attention (by incorporating suspense elements)

Interesting read and engages the reader Lack of good writing skills Eradicable Illogical story line because of gaps in narration Chronological narration Lack of narrative writing elements (like dialog and monolog) Inconclusive story messages

The Main Building plot (by developing the two main characters)

Conclusion Making explicit story messages while allowing the exploration of further possible messages (by keeping some portions of the ending open)

Diagram 1. Proposed moves that balance both the expectations of a Band 1 ML O level narrative writing with the writing limitations of the targeted group

Latest census show more younger Singaporeans are speaking English at home. See: http://news.xin.msn.com/en/singapore/article.aspx?cp-documentid=4584547

FINAL REPORT Proposed Moves to Balance Band 1 Expectations and Students Writing Limitations Broadly, we propose four moves that balance both the expectations of a Band 1 ML O level narrative writing with the writing limitations of the targeted group (See Diagram 1). They are (a) story theme, (b) introduction, (c) the main, and (d) conclusion. Story Theme The issue at hand is that students write predictable story lines that centred on petty adolescence and school issues. We propose that they set their story backdrops based on matured issues like broken families, parental abuse, inappropriate use of social media, and cyber-crimes. They can also select issues located in adolescence and school situations contingent that they are serious issues. For example, forbidden love between teacher and student.6 Introduction The concern is that students do not know how to arouse readers interest. We propose that they introduce suspense elements at the beginning of their writings to encourage reader wanting to read further to unravel the suspense. The Main The limiting factors are student poor language proficiency and lack of good writing skills. The latter is eradicable by teaching students good writing strategy. The former, however, is more challenging because of it is persistent in nature. To go around this problem we propose that the story plot is built by developing two opposing main characters using writing tools like action, dialog, monolog and gossip.7 We are in favour of this move because sentence structure used to describe action, or to articulate ones thought, or use in dialogue are basic and in simple form. What this means is that students do not have to adapt complex sentence structure in English into ML. Furthermore, they can continue using simple vocabulary in their writings. Conclusion The problem at hand is that students often fail to show connection between their writings with the question. The matter is made worse when they could not conclude convincingly the story messages appropriate to the question. We propose that they make explicit story messages (keeping in view of the question) while allowing some room for reader to explore further possible messages. The latter can be achieved by keeping some portions of the ending open ended. We view that it is important for a writer not to dominate what a reader should or should not take away8 from their writings. Allowing readers to explore further possible messages may reinforce the story messages writer chooses to make explicit. Even if that did not happen, readers will appreciate the democratic approach to allow for writer-reader co-constructing understanding from a piece of writing.
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Unfortunately, such forbidden love happened in Singapore recently. See: http://www.edvantage.com.sg/edvantage/news/news/1215148/Former_teacher_under_probe_for_sex_with _male_student.html 7 Gossip basically is a dialogue between two supporting characters describing the characteristics of one of the main characters. 8 Take away from writing refers to lesson or message reader understood from a story.

FINAL REPORT Teaching the Introduction In this report, we choose to present how we develop the strategy for the introduction of a narrative writing. To arouse readers interest, we propose that students introduce suspense elements at the beginning of their writings to encourage reader wanting to read further to unravel the suspense. To help student achieve this aim we identify two-pronged technique and deliberate how to teach it to students. The Technique The two-pronged technique we identify are for students (a) to use in the introducton of their narrative writings a conflict that sets up for the conclusion or ending of their stories, and (b) to present the conflict using quick and short dialog. The conflict has to centre on two opposing main characters and the dialog is between both of them. A suitable conflict can centre on, for example, a confrontation between the main characters when one is shaken to learn of an unexpected discovery that lead to a tragic mishap (See Example 1).

Astagfirullah Afiq! Apa yang sudah berlaku ini! Mak! Jangan sentuh! Tolong mak! Bahaya! Detikan jam bermula. Ini yang kau belajar berjam-jam dari Internet? Sekarang baru mak faham kenapa asyik ada orang yang memerhatikan rumah kita! Mereka rupanya sedang mengawasi gerak-langkah kamu! Sunyi. Hanya kedengaran bunyi detikan jam semakin kuat. Apa itu? Mak! Afiq! Detuman kuat. Segala yang diam berterbangan dan berkecai sebelum perlahan menyembah bumi bagai kapas jatuh dilepaskan tangan. Suasana menjadi sunyi kembali. Gelap menyusul. Example 1. An example of an introduction of a narrative writing Quick and short dialog is characterized by the use of exclamation and question marks in many sentences. These sentences are quick and short because the dialog is situated in a conflict where naturally characters response quickly with lack of contemplation. The Pedagogy and Teaching Materials We adopted cognitive apprenticeship9 to teach students how to use the two-pronged technique. Cognitive apprenticeship allows us to make visible to students the thinking processes of

Cognitve Appreticeship is credited to John Seely Brown. For biography and theory, see: http://www.lifecircles-inc.com/Learningtheories/social/Brown.html

FINAL REPORT a learning activity. We made use of methods of traditional apprenticeship (like modelling, coaching, scaffolding, and fading) to effectively guide student learning. For teaching resources, we selected five narrative questions from past ML Paper 1 O level examination and wrote an introductory writing for each question. Using the pedagogy cognitive apprenticeship, we modelled to students our thinking processes when we wrote the introductory writings.

LESSON 1 We decided to model only two introductory writings we wrote (using two narrative questions) and chose one of the remaining three narrative questions for student to practice in class to gauge their understanding. Time 15 mins Students main learning activity Teacher modelled two introductory writings based on two narrative questions from ML Paper 1 O level examination. Students wrote individually an introductory writing based on one narrative question from ML Paper 1 O level examination. Students are paired up10 and shared their writings with their partners. Both decided which of the two introductory writings would better attract readers attention. Teacher chose the better introductory writings from three pairs of students11. Students wrote them on the whiteboard for teacher to highlight their strengths (and weakness, if any). Teacher ended the lesson by summarizing the main points of the lesson and his observations of students introductory writings. Important points relating to instruction We noticed that students remained passive and only a handful of them responded to questions. As such, we need to gauge their understanding by giving them a practice. Students had access to our two model introductory writings. As they wrote, we coached some of them who faced difficulty.

10 mins

5 mins

This activity would engaged students to discuss the criteria for a good introductory writing.

15 mins

Teacher identified gaps between the students introductory writings with the two model introductory writings. Teacher invited suggestion from students how could the gaps be overcome. We did not provide the students with homework to reinforce what they had learned. This was because we identified two areas that needed to be worked on to provide more traction in our instruction.

5 mins

Diagram 2. Summary of the main steps in Lesson 1

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Students were paired with those who sat next to them. The teacher chose the introductory writings based on who wrote them and whose writing the teacher felt need to be highlighted for their strengths (and possibly weaknesses too).

FINAL REPORT DEBRIEFING 1 From Lesson 1, we observed two major flaws in students introductory writings. First, most of the conflicts chosen were not appropriate because they are not set ups to the conclusion or the ending of the story. We noticed this shortcoming when student talked through briefly they stories. Second, the suspense elements in students introductory writing lack traction. We identified two areas that need to be work on to improve our instruction: (a) to provide graphical representations to show the differences in sequence between how events unfold in the real world and how these events are organised and narrated in a good narrative writing, and (b) to make explicit what are the suspense elements and how to use them effectively in introductory writing.

PLANNING 2 (REVISING) Organization of Events in a Good Narrative Writing A good narrative writing does not tell a story by narrating events in a chronological order. There are many different ways to arrange these events in a narrative writing. The arrangement that we favour is explained graphically in Diagram 3.

Events of a story unfold in a chronological order

CONFLICT

Events prior to conflict

Conflict Built-up

Resolution

How real world events are organized and narrated in a good narrative writing

CONFLICT

Introduction

The Main

Conclusion

Diagram 3. Graphical representations to show the differences in sequence between how events unfold in the real world and how these events are organised and narrated in our narrative writing strategy We favour narrating the conflict in the introduction in our narrative writing strategy. This is followed by a flash-back narration of four selected events (coloured-coded in blue) that happened prior to the conflict in the real world. The conclusion comprises of two events: (a) that builds up to the conflict (colour-coded in pink), and (b) that resolves the conflict (colour-coded in orange) with a 7

FINAL REPORT favourable ending or a tragedy. Events that light-coloured in the conclusion are not included in our narration. They are left open-ended to allow reader to explore further possible story messages. Suspense Elements We classify the suspense elements into three categories: (a) incident, (b) object, and (c) person. These elements are employed in an introductory writing in a manner where only a handful of details are given while the rest are kept away from the reader. Students have to find a delicate balance between how much detail to reveal and to keep hidden. Too much detail would compromise the suspense of the story and thus make the story line easily anticipated. When this happens, the reader will be less motivated to continue reading earnestly. However, if the details are too sketchy, the introductory writing becomes confusing and this will put off any interest towards the story. An example how this delicate balance of is achieved can be found in Example 2 below. In this example, the reader will be interested to know (a) what has caused the mother to be alarmed (the Incident), (b) what Afiq has learnt from the many hours surfing the Internet that makes his mother alarmed (the Object), and (c) who are the people spying on the family, and how are they connected with what Afiq has done that makes his mother alarmed on discovering it (the Persons). From the example we can also observe that the suspense elements are employed in a manner where they are connected as a complete whole where they play a central role in the development of the story. To uncover the suspense would take the reader into the depth of the plot before arriving at the conclusion of the story. Introductory Writing Suspense Elements

Astagfirullah Afiq! Apa yang sudah berlaku ini! Mak! Jangan sentuh! Tolong mak! Bahaya! Detikan jam bermula. Ini yang kau belajar berjam-jam dari Internet? Sekarang baru mak faham kenapa asyik ada orang yang memerhatikan rumah kita! Mereka rupanya sedang mengawasi gerak-langkah kamu! Sunyi. Hanya kedengaran bunyi detikan jam semakin kuat. Apa itu? Mak! Afiq! Detuman kuat. Segala yang diam berterbangan dan berkecai sebelum perlahan menyembah bumi bagai kapas jatuh dilepaskan tangan. Suasana menjadi sunyi kembali. Gelap menyusul.

INCIDENT: Apa yang sudah berlaku ini! What has happened here?

OBJECT: Ini yang kau belajar berjam-jam dari Internet? This is what you learn from the many hours surfing the Internet? PERSON(S): Sekarang baru mak faham kenapa asyik ada orang yang memerhatikan rumah kita! Now I understood why there are people spying on our house!

Example 2. An example of an introduction of a narrative writing highlighting the three suspense elements an incident, an object, and persons 8

FINAL REPORT LESSON 2 We continue to use cognitive apprenticeship pedagogy for Lesson 2. Time 10 mins Students main learning activity Teacher explained the organization of events in a good narrative writing using the graphical representations as shown in Diagram 3. Teacher coached students how to choose appropriate conflict for their introductory writings. Teacher modelled how to use the three suspense elements (incident, object, and person) in introductory writing based on the two examples used in Lesson 1. Important points relating to instruction We did not have a full narrative writing to show how the different events are located in a good narrative writing because our narrative writing strategy is a work in progress. This is the limitation of our instruction. We welcomed questions from a handful of students who sought to better understand how to employ the suspense elements. For students who remained passive, we looked forward to gauge their understanding through practice. Students had access to our two model introductory writings that showed explicitly how the suspense elements were employed. As they wrote, we coached some of them who faced difficulty. This activity would engaged students to build on each other understanding how to employ the suspense elements effectively.

10 mins

10 mins

Students improved their introductory writings from Lesson 1.

5 mins

Students are paired up and shared their writings with their partners. Both decided which of the two introductory writings would better attract readers attention. Teacher chose the better introductory writings from two pairs of students. Students wrote them on the whiteboard for teacher to highlight their strengths (and weakness, if any).

10 mins

Teacher continued to identify gaps between the students introductory writings with the two model introductory writings. Teacher invited suggestion from students how could the gaps be overcome.

5 mins

Teacher ended the lesson by summarizing Unlike in lesson 1, we provided students the main points of the lesson and his with homework to reinforce what they had observations of students introductory learned. writings.

Diagram 4. Summary of the main steps of Lesson 2

DEBRIEFING 2 In Lesson 2, we immediately realised that it was important to show students a full narrative writing. We were not able to develop it because our narrative writing strategy is a work in progress. This is the limitation of our instruction. Had we have one, we could have impressed students (a) 9

FINAL REPORT how to choose an appropriate conflict for their introductory writings and (b) how the three suspense elements are important in the unfolding of events in subsequent parts of a story. We could not ascertain whether the graphical representations we used to help students locate an appropriate conflict for their introductory writings. We can only do so if we have read their full narrative writings. In Lesson 1, we got around this problem by getting students to talk through briefly their stories. However, we soon realised that most of them changed their stories as many times as they toyed with different ideas how their stories could unfold. We noticed that students introductory writings contained explicitly the three suspense elements. However, when probed only a few of them were able to explain how the suspense elements were connected to each other to play a central role in the development of their stories. We concluded that this gap was the result of the limitation in our instruction; we did not have a full narrative writing to show them in the first place. Had we have one, we could have impressed them how the three suspense elements in our model introductory writings were important in the unfolding of events in subsequent parts of our stories. We were optimist then that students would learn to appreciate the importance of the three suspense elements in developing their stories when we began to teach them the strategies to develop the main and conclusion sections of a narrative writing.

GROUP REFLECTIONS To reiterate, our report focuses on our effort in designing strategy for the introduction of a narrative writing (see Appendix 1 for the strategy). We centre our group reflections on the four research questions. What are the Expectations of a Band 1 ML O Level Narrative Writing? Writing that is interesting and engages the reader is one of the criteria for Band 1 ML O level narrative writing. Our Introduction move seeks to equip students with the skills to develop explicitly the three suspense elements (incident, object, and person) in their introduction writings to arouse readers interest. In lesson 2, we noticed that students could articulate explicitly the three suspense elements in their introductory writings. We learnt that the moves we proposed (Story Theme, Introduction, the Main, and Conclusion) are interdependent in our instruction; students appreciate and understand ideas in each move better after they have been taught all the other moves. We anticipate that after teaching students all the moves, they will be able to present suspense elements that are directly connected to each other to play a central role in the development of their stories. What are the Writing Limitations of Our Average and Low Ability Upper Secondary Students? Our targeted group of students are poor in ML proficiency and lack good writing skills. The latter is eradicable by teaching students good writing strategy. The former, however, is more challenging because of it is persistent in nature.

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FINAL REPORT How to Design a Narrative Writing Strategy that Takes into Account these Limitations? We overcame this challenge by insisting that students presented their conflicts in short and quick dialogs. The use of dialog is favoured here because sentence structure used in dialog is basic and in simple form, especially so if the dialog is short. Students are familiar with what to include in a quick and short dialog as they are likely to use them in their daily communications. Furthermore, dialog naturally requires simple vocabulary. This helps the students with limited vocabulary. How Best to Teach the Strategy to the Said Group of Students? We adopted cognitive apprenticeship to teach students how to use the two-pronged technique of how to choose an appropriate conflict for their introductions, and how to present their conflicts using quick and short dialogs. We quickly recognized the strength of this pedagogy as it allowed us to make visible to students the thinking processes of a learning activity. We made use of methods of traditional apprenticeship (like modelling, coaching, scaffolding, and fading) to effectively guide student learning. To gauge students understanding, we gave students some practices. This is an important move especially when students are passive. However, before we assessed their work, they were required to share and discuss with their partners what are the criteria of a good introduction by having to choose whose writings would better attract readers attention. This approach allows students to reflect and build on each other understanding how to employ the suspense elements effectively.

INDIVIDUAL REFLECTIONS Two teachers observed Lesson 1 & 2 and shared their reflections below (see Diagram 5). Their reflections also drew on insights they gleamed from teaching the introductory writing strategy with their classes.

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FINAL REPORT

Ms Nur Maizurah

As they improved their introduction writings, many students began to realise that their writings have potential to attract interest. They acknowledged this when asked how their introduction writings compared with their previous narrative writings. This is an important buyingin because students tend to keep to their old ways of writings. However, when they see how using the strategy immediately transformed their writings, they are likely to adopt the strategy seriously.

Initially we did not have a full narrative writing because our strategy is a work in progress. To overcome this limitation, I developed possible events based on a students introduction writing and presented them to my class. I found that they then realised that there were a number possible conflicts in the students story and that they had to be mindful which of the conflicts would augur well with the storyline. Also, the cognitive apprenticeship pedagogy helps because through modelling, I was able to make explicit to them students my thinking processes when using the three suspense elements effectively.

Mdm Noranika Murni

Diagram 5. Teacher-observers individual reflections

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FINAL REPORT APPENDICES Appendix 1 - Narrative writing strategy (a work in progress) Moves Story Theme Technique Story backdrop Important points relating to technique To set the question on a story backdrop The story backdrop should not centre on petty adolescence and school issues. It should be based on matured issues like broken families, parental abuse, inappropriate use of social media, and cyber-crimes. Students can also select issues located in adolescence and school situations contingent that they are serious issues. For example, forbidden love between teacher and student.

Introduction

Conflict

To use in the introduction a conflict that sets up for the conclusion or ending of the story The conflict has to centre on two opposing main characters and the dialog is between both of them. A suitable conflict can centre on, for example, a confrontation between the main characters when one is shaken to learn of an unexpected discovery that lead to a tragic mishap (See Example 1).

Short and quick dialog

To present the conflict using quick and short dialog Quick and short dialog is characterized by the use of exclamation and question marks in many sentences. These sentences are quick and short because the dialog is situated in a conflict where naturally characters response quickly with lack of contemplation.

The Main Conclusion

*Tbc Tbc

Tbc Tbc

*Tbc To be completed

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