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Malignant Self-love
$arcissism %evisite&
1st EDITION

9th Revised Impression

Sam 0aknin
The Author is NOT a Mental Health Professional. "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited" is ased on corres!ondence since "##$ %ith hundreds of !eo!le diagnosed %ith Narcissistic and Antisocial Personalit& 'isorders (narcissists and !s&cho!aths) and %ith thousands of famil& mem ers* friends* thera!ists* and colleagues.

+diting and 'esign: Lidija Rangelovska

Narcissus u!lications" S#op$e %&1' CONTENTS

Throughout this book click on blue-lettered text to navigate to different chapters or to access online resources

Foreword Prologue Introduction The a!it o" Identit# ,hat is Personalit& and %hat is NormalNarcissistic Personalit# $isorder A Primer on Narcissism and Narcissistic Personalit& 'isorder (NP')
The Ris.s of Self-diagnosis and /a elling ,hat is Pathological Narcissism,hat is Narcissistic Personalit& 'isorder (NP')Diagnostic Criteria Proposed Amended Diagnostic Criteria for NPD

Prevalence and Age and 0ender 1eatures 2omor idit& and 'ifferential 'iagnoses 2linical 1eatures of Narcissistic Personalit& 'isorder (NP') Treatment and Prognosis Narcissistic Personalit& 'isorder in the 'SM 3
Identity elf-direction !mpathy Intimacy Pathological Personality Traits "randiosity Attention-seeking

Ps&chological 'efence Mechanisms

Ps&chological Tests 4i liogra!h& The %ind o" the Narcissist

Chapter I# Chapter II# Chapter III#

The Soul of a Narcissist: The State of the Art

A!!endi5: O 6ect Relations Theories and Narcissism

4eing S!ecial 7ni8ueness and 9ntimac&

Pathological +nv& Romantic :ealous&

Chapter I$# Chapter $# Chapter $I#

The ,or.ings of a Narcissist: A Phenomenolog& The Tortured Self: The 9nner ,orld of the Narcissist The +motional 9nvolvement Preventive Measures

Fre&uentl# 'sked (uestions Narcissism: The Disorder

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The Narcissist;s Poor Prognosis Pathological Narcissism: A '&sfunction* or a 4lessingThe Narcissist as a 1ailure and a /oser

The +nerg& of Self Self-love and Narcissism

9nner 'ialog* 2ognitive 'eficits* and 9ntro6ects in Narcissism

Self-defeating and Self-destructive 4ehaviours

Self-!unishing* 0uilt-!urging 4ehaviours +5tracting 4ehaviours 'efault 4ehaviours 1rustrating* Negativistic* and Passive-aggressive 4ehaviours Primitive +nv&

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9deas of Reference 0randiose 1antasies

%mnipotence %mniscience %mnipresence Narcissist the %mnivore &Perfectionism and Completeness'

0randiosit& 4u les The Narcissist;s 2onfa ulated /ife

A. #.

0randiosit& Hangover and Narcissist 4aiting

A using the 0ulli le Narcissist

'e!ression and the Narcissist

T&!es of 'e!ressive States of the Narcissist
(oss Induced Dysphoria Deficiency Induced Dysphoria elf-)orth Dysregulation Dysphoria "randiosity "ap Dysphoria elf-punishing Dysphoria

"B.

2ommon Anger and Narcissistic Rage: Anger as a Source of Personalit& 'isorder

Acute Anger Narcissistic Rage
Narcissistic In*ury Narcissistic +ound Narcissistic car Impulse Control and Narcissistic ,ear of ,ailure

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0ender and the Narcissist Homose5ual and Transse5ual Narcissists Addiction to 1ame and 2ele rit& Ac8uired Situational Narcissism
Narcissist of Su stance vs. Narcissist of A!!earances

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2ons!icuous +5istence: Narcissist as an Actor The Narcissist;s Reaction to 'eficient Narcissistic Su!!l& The 'elusional ,a& Out
The Delusional Narrative olution The Antisocial olution The Paranoid chi-oid olution The Paranoid Aggressive &!xplosive' olution The .asochistic Avoidant olution

Note: The Prodig& as Narcissistic 9n6ur& 0randiosit& and 9ntimac& C The Roots of Paranoia
"randiosity !nhancing Paranoia Intimacy /etarding Paranoia
"@.

The 2om!ulsive Acts of the Narcissist

The 2& er Narcissist

The 9nternet as a Narcissistic Phenomenon Online 'ating

"A. "#.

Narcissistic Routines The 7nsta le Narcissist

Compensatory tability &0Classic0' Narcissists !nhancing Instability &01orderline0' Narcissist

The T%o /oves of the Narcissist

<B. <". <<. <=.

'o Narcissists Have +motionsThe 9na!!ro!riate Affect The 7 i8uitous Narcissist The Narcissist as a Sadist and Paranoid
The Self-a%are Narcissist;s 2onfession Sadistic Personalit& 'isorder The Mon.-sadist

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+m!ath&: Other Peo!le;s Pain

,hat is +m!ath&Cold !mpathy vs2 +arm !mpathy and the Concept of 03ncanny $alley0

The Narcissism of 'ifferences 4ig and Small

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The Ps&cholog& of Ph&sical A use and Torture

,h& 'o Peo!le Torture-

Multi!le 0randiosit& 1alse Modest& ,ar!ed Realit& and Retroactive +motional 2ontent: The Narcissist;s 'e!ersonaliDation and 'erealiDation Narcissistic Signal* Stimulus* and Hi ernation Mini-c&cles The Narcissistic Pendulum and the Pathological Narcissistic S!ace The 9nanimate as a Source of Narcissistic Su!!l&: Narcissistic 4randing and Narcissistic 2ontagion
The Misanthro!ic Altruist The 2om!ulsive 0iver

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The 'ual Role of the 1alse Self The Stri!!ed +go The S!lit-off +go
The Narcissist;s O 6ect 2onstanc&

The Serious Narcissist Narcissists* 'isagreements* and 2riticism Transformations of Aggression

The Adrenaline :un.ie

Narcissistic Humiliation The Midlife Narcissist To Age %ith 0race: The Narcissist as an Old Person
Narcissists* 'isease* and 9nfirmit&

The Narcissist and 9ntros!ection The /osses of the Narcissist ,aiting for Him to 0et 4etter 2an a Narcissist Hel! HimselfReconditioning the Narcissist Treatment Modalities and Thera!ies
2ognitive- ehavioural Thera!ies (24Ts) '&namic Ps&chothera!& or Ps&chod&namic Thera!&* Ps&choanal&tic Ps&chothera!&

Modern Thera!& and Treatment of Personalit& 'isorders +clectic Ps&chothera!& 0rou! Thera!ies 2an Narcissism 4e 2uredNarcissists in Thera!&
>@. >A. >#.

Narcissistic Mirroring The 'evelo!ment of the Narcissist The Narcissist;s Mother

The /oved +nemies C An 9ntroduction The Narcissistic Personalit&
,reud versus 4ung 5ohut6s Approach 5aren 7orney6s Contributions

The 9ssue of Se!aration and 9ndividuation 2hildhood Traumas and the 'evelo!ment of the Narcissistic Personalit& The Narcissist;s 1amil& The Narcissist;s Mother - A Suggestion for an 9ntegrative 1rame%or. SensitiDed and 'esensitiDed Offs!ring of Narcissistic Parents
?B.

The 9nverted Narcissist

Terminolog&
Codependents Typology of Codependents Inverted Narcissist Counter-dependents

9ntroduction The 2ode!endent;s 9nner Mother and 2hild

Countering Abandonment and eparation Anxiety

The 9nverted Narcissist Somatic versus 2ere ral 9nverted Narcissists The 2hild;s Reaction to the Narcissistic Parent An Attem!ted 'SM-St&le /ist of 2riteria The Reactive Patterns of the 9nverted Narcissist The /ife of the 9nverted Narcissist The 9nverted Narcissist;s Survival 0uide Relationshi!s et%een 9nverted Narcissists and Non-narcissists The 9nverted Narcissist in a Relationshi! %ith the Narcissist 2o!ing %ith Narcissists and Non-narcissists ,hen 2an a 2lassic Narcissist ecome an 9nverted Narcissist,hen 2an an 9nverted Narcissist ecome a 2lassic Narcissist9nverted Narcissists Tal. a out Themselves
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Narcissists* 9nverted Narcissists* and SchiDoids

2ultural and Social 2onsiderations 2ommon Ps&chod&namic Roots

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Narcissists* Medications* and 2hemical 9m alances M&ths a out Narcissism

Narcissism and +vil

The Selfish 0ene: The 0enetic 7nder!innings of Narcissism Narcissism C The Ps&cho!athological 'efault
The Narcissistic olution The Appropriation olution The chi-oid olution The Aggressive-destructive olution

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Narcissism* Other Mental Health 'isorders* Su stance A use* and Rec.less 4ehaviours 2omor idit& and 'ual 'iagnosis
4orderline Personalit& 'isorder (4P')* NP'* and Other 2luster 4 Personal 'isorders
Abandonment8 1PD8 and NPD The 1orderline Narcissist 9 A Psychotic: NPD and 1PD# uicide

Narcissist vs. Ps&cho!ath Histrionic Personalit& 'isorder (HP') and Somatic NP' SchiDoid and Paranoid Personalit& 'isorders Negativistic (Passive-Aggressive) Personalit& 'isorder
Passive-aggressive 1ureaucracies

Masochism and Narcissism

.asochistic Personality Disorder

The 9nverted Narcissist C A MasochistNarcissism and SchiDot&!al Personalit& 'isorder Narcissism and 0eneraliDed An5iet& 'isorder (0A') NP' and Neuroses Narcissists and 'e!ression Narcissism and 4i!olar 'isorder Attention 'eficit H&!eractivit& 'isorder (A'' or A'H') and NP' Narcissism and As!erger;s 'isorder Pathological Narcissism* Ps&chosis* and 'elusions 'issociative 9dentit& 'isorder ('9') and NP' Narcissists and Se5ual Perversions Addiction and Narcissism as OrganiDing Princi!les Narcissism* Su stance A use* and Rec.less 4ehaviours
?@. ?A. ?#. $B.

+ating 'isorders and the Narcissist 2an the Narcissist Have a Meaningful /ifeA 2omment a out Shame

A 2ase Stud& of an Adolescent Narcissist The Narcissist;s Reactions to This Te5t

Fre&uentl# 'sked (uestions Narcissism and Society

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A 'ream 9nter!reted Ho% to RecogniDe a Narcissist07aughty0 1ody (anguage !ntitlement .arkers Ideali-ation or Devaluation The 0.embership0 Posture 1ragging and ,alse Autobiography !motion-free (anguage eriousness and ense of Intrusion and Coercion 9nteracting %ith a Narcissist The ,ea!on of /anguage +5!loitation & a Narcissist
The Pathological 2harmer The Peo!le-!leasers

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The Narcissist;s 3ictims

"9 Attract A users li.e a Magnet" Ho% 3ictims are Affected & A use Post-Traumatic Stress 'isorder (PTS') Recover& and Healing The 2onflicts of Thera!& Traumas as Social 9nteractions

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Narcissism & Pro5&

,hen 3ictims 4ecome Narcissists

1acilitating Narcissism
"9 2an Achieve and 'o An&thing 9f 9 Onl& Put M& Mind to 9t"

Narcissists in Positions of Authorit&

Narcissistic /eaders The 2ult of the Narcissist The Narcissist;s 2onflicted Relationshi! %ith His 1ans* 1ollo%ers* and Admirers The Professions of the Narcissist
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1or the /ove of 0od: Narcissists and Religion The Narcissist and Social 9nstitutions 2ollective Narcissism: Narcissism* 2ulture* and Societ& The Narcissist in 2ourt The Narcissist in the ,or.!lace 9s the Narcissist Res!onsi le for His ActionsShould the Narcissist e Held Accounta le for His Actions2rime and Punishment: The Never-re!enting Narcissist
'enial Mechanisms of A usive Narcissists and Ps&cho!aths

Narcissists* 0rou! 4ehaviour* and Terrorism

Human 2ollectives (Nations* Professions* +thnic 0rou!s) and Narcissism C Stereot&!ing or RacismAre All Terrorists and Serial Eillers Narcissists-

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9s the Narcissist +ver Sorr&The 0uilt of Others Narcissistic 2onfinement

Note: 0regariousness and (/ac. of) Self-confidence

Narcissistic Allocation: Over-valuation (9dealiDation) and 'evaluation Narcissistic 9mmunit& Narcissists* /ove* and Healing 3indictive and 3iolent Narcissists
0uns and Narcissists 2o!ing Strategies Note: School Shootings T&!olog& of Revenge

A$. A@.

Narcissists as Mass and Serial Eillers

S!ree Shooters

Narcissistic Su!!l& and Sources of Su!!l&

Narcissistic Su!!l& and Se5

Fre&uentl# 'sked (uestions Narcissists and Family

AA. A#. #B.

Ho% to 2o!e %ith a NarcissistNarcissists and ,omen The S!ouseFMateFPartner of the Narcissist
A use
3npredictability Disproportional /eactions Dehumani-ation and %b*ectification Abuse of Information Impossible ituations ,inancial Abuse Control by Proxy "aslighting8 tealth8 or Ambient Abuse

A T&!olog& of A use
Pro*ective vs2 Directional Abuse Cathartic vs2 ,unctional Abuse Pattern &or tructured' vs2 tochastic &or /andom' Abuse .onovalent vs2 Polyvalent Abuse Characteristic &Personal tyle' vs2 Atypical Abuse Normative vs2 Deviant Abuse

9ndifference and 'ecom!ensation in Pathological Narcissism The Malignant O!timism of the A used
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9nvesting in a Narcissist The 'ou le Reflection: Narcissistic 2ou!les and Narcissistic T&!es Narcissistic Parents
+ffects of Narcissistic Parents on Their 2hildren

Narcissists and 2hildren The Narcissist and His 1amil&

2ustod& and 3isitation The Roots of Paedo!hilia

#$. #@. #A.

Narcissists* Se5* and 1idelit&: Somatic vs. 2ere ral Narcissist

Se5ual 1antasies of Narcissists and Ps&cho!aths

The +5tramarital Narcissist Mourning the Narcissist

The Three 1orms of 2losure
Conceptual Closure /etributive Closure Dissociative Closure

4ac. to /a-la /and: 0iving the Narcissist a Second 2hance

##.

Surviving the Narcissist

Narcissists and A andonment /oving a Narcissist /iving %ith a Narcissist Narcissistic Tactics ,h& the 1ailing Relationshi!sThe Never-ending Stor& The '&namics of the Relationshi! Rescue 1antasies A andoning the Narcissist Moving On /earning 0rieving 1orgiving and 1orgetting Remaining 1riends %ith the Narcissist The Need to e Ho!eful

"BB.

The Narcissist;s 'ead Parents

Ps&chological Signs and S&m!toms The 'uthor Online inde) 0o here: htt!:FF%%%.narcissistic-a use.comFsiteinde5.html