BIRD’S NEST SOUP

A Play in Two Acts

Written By

Lucy Wang

anchogirl@yahoo.com

© Copyright, Lucy Wang.

 Cast of Characters

JULIE LIM Chinese American. JULIE is 15 and 17.

MARK LIM Chinese American, MARK is 12 and 14.

HENRY LIM Chinese American, early 40s.

DAISY LIM Chinese American, very beautiful, approaching 40.

ALICE LIM Chinese American, recent immigrant, classical beauty,

mid 30s to early 40s.

Scenes

Acorn, Ohio. 1973-1976.

ACT I: Great Leap Forward

Scene 1 Lim house, middle class suburbia, March 1973,

evening.
Scene 2 Lim house, 1 month later.
Scene 3 Lim house, 6 months later.
Scene 4 Lim house, August 8, 1974.

ACT II: Cultural Revolution

Scene 1 Lim house, 4 months later.

Scene 2 Lim house, evening, May 1976.
Scene 3 Lim house, late evening, June.
Scene 4 Lim house (“new” house), September.

Costumes
1970s clothing

Props
Newspaper, Chubby Checker, John Denver and Aerosmith Vinyl LPs/Records,
Pots & Pans, Basting Brush, Duck, Cleaver, Bird’s Nest, Camera, Plates,
Headshots & Letters, Bag of Finely Grated Deer Balls, Scrapbook

2
 ACT I

SCENE 1

SETTING: Early evening, March 1973. Living room and

open kitchen/dining area in a middle class
suburban home.

AT RISE: David Bowie’s “Young Americans” introduces

the scene. Light flashes in darkness to
resemble a camera flashing as the family poses
for three family portraits, the last of which
shows JULIE with her legs slightly apart. Then
LIGHTS FADE UP to show DAISY, JULIE and
MARK gathered around HENRY who is holding
a newspaper.

HENRY
Look, Daisy, we’re absolutely famous!

DAISY
(Reads the headline)
“Modern Miracles and Double Happiness.” Acorn, Ohio congratulates the Lim
family on their American citizenship and wishes Mark a very happy birthday.

MARK
I’m in the paper, too? Who wishes me a happy birthday?

DAISY
The entire city of Acorn. Three hundred fifty thousand American citizens!

MARK
Wow whee! I am famous.

JULIE
What about me?
(Glances at her photo)
I showed too much teeth.

MARK
(Whinneys like a horse)
Whoa. Giddyup.

3
 HENRY
How hard can it be to remember to cross your legs? What dishonor you bring to
most happy occasion.

(JULIE crosses her legs.)

DAISY
Nonsense. The paper says she is very cute for a Chinese girl.

MARK
For a Chinese horse. Fat and stumpy.

JULIE
Cute! I hate being cute. Now that I’m American, I want to be sexy. It’s my
unalienable right.

HENRY
Daisy, what foolishness are you feeding your daughter?

DAISY
Julie! Please. Some discretion.

JULIE
(Attempts a sexy pose)
Do you think I’ll win my Robert Redford now?

HENRY
(Brief moment of suspense, but HENRY totally misses the sexy pose)
First you learn to cross your legs.

JULIE
(Tries another sexy pose)
How about like this?

MARK
Cat barf.

DAISY
(Slightly alarmed, slightly amused)
Julie, stop begging for trouble. Listen to yourself, to your Daddy.

4
 HENRY
(To JULIE then DAISY)
So is this what you two do – play movie star – when Daddy work so late at
rubber company?

JULIE
At least it’s free, Dad.

DAISY
Julie, please, for me – you’re disturbing your father.

HENRY
Not today. Today is an auspicious beginning, calls for mighty celebration. Our
family said we’d never be accepted as Americans. This will show them.
(To DAISY)
You sure showing your underwear in the paper is cute?

DAISY
Yes.

MARK
But only if it’s clean.

HENRY
Good. Let us order 100 copies and send them to all our relatives. They’ll be so
proud. Read us the third paragraph out loud, Daisy.

DAISY
“It is widely believed that Orientals are smart because of something mysterious
in their brain matter. What else to account for the Lims’ perfect score on their
citizenship test?”

HENRY
Ah! Symphony to my ears! We studied every night but no necessary to tell
them.

MARK
Who’s them?

(The citizenship questions are asked in rapid fire.)

JULIE
Who is Robert E. Lee?

5
 MARK
What is the significance of Appomattox?

JULIE
Who chopped down the cherry tree?

MARK
And never told a lie?

DAISY
So how do you want to celebrate?

HENRY
The way we did in China.

EVERYONE
Feast!

DAISY
Wonderful, but first I have an idea. Let’s do “The Hucklebuck.”

HENRY
Hucklebuck? What’s that? That’s not very Chinese.

DAISY
But we’re Americans. Young Americans.

HENRY
American Chinese.

DAISY
Chinese Americans.

JULIE
Same thing.

HENRY
Is it?

DAISY
I’d rather be a noun than an adjective.

MARK
Mom loves twisting to Chubby Checker.

6
 HENRY
No dancing. Dancing not for true men.

DAISY
Just try it once. The songs are so cheerful; it’s contagious.

JULIE
I want to see Daddy shake, rattle and roll.

MARK
It’s so fun even you’ll like to dance.

HENRY
Really? I don’t know. Too much twisting damages the body. Daddy care for
your health.

DAISY
Henry, for me? It’s been so long since we’ve had some pure and simple fun.
You promised me that one day we would savor life too. Remember those nights
we stared at the full moon, sipping our coca-colas, holding hands.

HENRY
I promised to be your James Dean. Or was it Rhett Butler?

DAISY
And when anyone told us we were crazy, that our dreams were filled with hot
air, you told them.

HENRY
(proud, imitating Rhett Butler)
“Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.”

DAISY
(Stage changes to dreamy moonlight, DAISY and HENRY dance to
romantic big band music)
You were going to be Fred Astaire, and I, Ginger Rogers. You promised to twirl
me, dip me, sweep me off my feet and carry me away to somewhere soft,
sweet, forbidden.

HENRY
Daisy, not in front of the children!

7
 DAISY
Always work and school. School and work. First you at school, me at work, then
me at school, you at work, now both of us at work, the kids at school, nobody is
ever home, couldn’t we just for once be one big happy family dancing? Please?

HENRY
Are all the curtains closed?

DAISY
Yes.

HENRY
I don’t know how to rock and roll.

DAISY
That’s why I picked Chubby Checker. He tells you what to do.

MARK
Wiggle like a snake.

JULIE
Waddle like a duck.

HENRY
I see. So it’s very simple?

JULIE
Yes, Dad.

HENRY
I’m asking Mark.

MARK
I can do it backwards.

JULIE
You cannot.

HENRY
Just today because today special occasion. We celebrate American Dream.
Today front page of Acorn Beacon Journal, tomorrow Mark will be giving
speeches on T.V. like Henry Kissinger.

8
 DAISY
What do you say, Mark? Henry Kissinger has such a delightful accent.

MARK
No thanks. I want to be a giant rock star, go on tour, seduce a zillion women,
and design cool album covers.

HENRY
No loud rock music in my house. Never.

DAISY
Henry, please. Mark is still so young. Let him dream on.

MARK
What did James Dean and Rhett Butler do for a living?

JULIE
Were the women in these movies pioneers? What did they get to do?

HENRY
Okay we discuss career options later, Mark. Meantime think Henry Kissinger.
How nice that sounds, Kissing – er.

JULIE
Are we going to dance the night away or what?

HENRY
Under one condition. No one is permitted to laugh at Daddy. Daddy deserves
respect. I am the king. I make you American citizens. Daddy give you the best
gift money can buy.

DAISY
Julie, Mark, did you hear that? You must obey your father.

JULIE
Thank you, Daddy.

MARK
Thank you, Daddy.

HENRY
Confucius order us to serve our parents with courtesy while they live, to bury
them with all courtesy when they die, and to worship them with all courtesy.

9
 MARK
You’re the greatest, Daddy.

JULIE
Tops.

HENRY
Okay okay, we dance.

DAISY
Henry, you’ve made me so happy. Julie, put on the music.

(JULIE pulls out the record and places it on the turntable.)

DAISY
Practice hunching your back.

(“The Hucklebuck” starts. EVERYONE dances uniquely, swiftly following

Checker’s directions. The laughter, tempo and confusion quickly escalates
into a dizzying frenzy.)

HENRY
I never saw Fred and Ginger do this. How utterly silly.

DAISY
Relax. Just listen. Isn’t this entertaining? Julie, Mark, move your hips more.

HENRY
No, don’t teach them any more bad American manners.

DAISY
Don’t worry so much, it makes us old. Wiggle, Henry.

HENRY
I don’t want to play animals.

DAISY
Doesn’t Daddy make a perfect snake?

JULIE
Perfect.

DAISY
And the perfect duck.

10
 JULIE
Peking Duck.

MARK
Donald Duck.

DAISY
Fred Astaire.

HENRY
Quack Quack.

MARK
You’re not supposed to quack.

HENRY
How about this?

DAISY
Not too bad. Not bad at all.

HENRY
Not too bad not too good?

MARK
Waddle like this.

HENRY
I’m not bad, really.

DAISY
No, of course not.

JULIE
Wiggle like that.

DAISY
And hunch like this. Not too bad, Henry.

MARK
Daddy, you better practice.

JULIE
Practice makes perfect.

11
 HENRY
Stop!
(The music ends.)
Stop criticizing! Always laughing at me! I demand total respect!

DAISY
We don’t laugh at you, we laugh with you.

HENRY
What’s the difference? And tell me why you always call me not too bad. Why
not say good?

DAISY
Oh, Henry, how many times do I have to explain? I love to dance.

HENRY
You used to enjoy tutoring me in English.

DAISY
Not bad means you’re exceptional. The best.

HENRY
Aiya, multiple definitions strike me very unclear. Hazy. How do I know for
certain the right meaning? Show me verification, Daisy.

DAISY
Please trust me on this one. Please. Like you used to.

(“Let’s Twist Again” plays softly. Chubby Checker sings, “C’mon, let’s
twist again like we did last summer. Yeah, let’s twist again, like we did
last year. Do you remember when things were really humming? Yeah,
let’s twist again. Twisting time is here.” Then BLACKOUT)

END OF SCENE 1

12
 ACT I

SCENE 2

SETTING: Early afternoon, 1 month later. Lim living

room.

AT RISE: HENRY flips through scrapbook of model Asian

Americans and imagines MARK as one of them.
HENRY beams with hopeful pride when he
pauses to look at MARK. MARK writes a letter.

HENRY
Read what you wrote so far.

MARK
“Dear President Nixon, my name is Mark Lim, I am 12 years old, my father asked
me to thank you for bringing 2 pandas to America. I hope to meet them
someday.”

HENRY
Erase “my father asked me to.” Show the President you are your own man.

MARK
But I’m only 12.

HENRY
Add “Honorable” before President Nixon. Continue reading.

MARK
“My family would like to invite your family to dinner since you said you love
Chinese food. Also, do you like rock music? I wonder if you might introduce me
to Alice Cooper.”

HENRY
How disrespectful. You can’t ask the President for a favor. You haven’t even
thanked him for showing the world what we Chinese are worth knowing. That
China is a good friend. You must thank President Nixon for honoring your
mother country with his friendship.

MARK
What does mother country mean? I was born here. I am a real American
citizen. Homemade. Not imported like the rest of you.

13
 HENRY
We’re all the same I keep telling you.

(DAISY and JULIE ENTER)

DAISY
How’s your letter to President Nixon coming along, Mark?

MARK
I’m not good enough. Daddy hates me.

HENRY
I do not. You have to try harder. Concentrate. Make-believe more.

MARK
I’m missing Little League.

JULIE
I wrote mine. I told President Nixon you named me after his daughter.

DAISY
I said she could say that.

HENRY
But it is false.

DAISY
Just like you said, Henry. Nothing wrong with a little make-believe.

JULIE
I told him my dad was the smartest man in the world and that he should tell
your boss to give you a raise.

HENRY
Very smart girl.

JULIE
And I congratulated him for his diplomacy. Do you want to read my letter?

HENRY
Not now.

JULIE
I sent Kissinger our very best wishes.

14
 HENRY
Are you deaf? I said later.

DAISY
When will we be ready for dinner?

MARK
I have a baseball game.

HENRY
(RE: Scrapbook)
First you must look through the photo album.

MARK
Those people are total strangers. Besides, I promised the team I would be on
time.

HENRY
It will only take a few minutes.

MARK
One fast pitch.

HENRY
Absolutely critical we get to know other outstanding Orientals. See what we can
accomplish.

DAISY
Let Julie sit with you. She’ll be quiet.
(DAISY heads into the kitchen. HENRY sits with JULIE and MARK.)

HENRY
See these Van Cliburn winners.

JULIE
They’re Japanese, not Chinese. You always said big difference.

HENRY
Very big difference. However in America, sometimes we are interchangeable.
Mark can be the first Chinese winner.

MARK
You mean Julie. I play the guitar.

15
 HENRY
Whatever. Look at the Chinese science fair winners. Dedicated, they study too
hard, become too skinny. Chinese suffer so much for tiny bit of glory. Valuable
lesson, Mark, honor always worth agony.

MARK
Always?

JULIE
They’re only 16. And they look very well-fed to me.

HENRY
(To JULIE, angry)
I thought you were going to be quiet. Why you always have to interrupt Mark’s
studies? Why?

(JULIE leaves to help DAISY in the kitchen.)

MARK
Dad, I have to go.

HENRY
The American Dream is God, Mark. Smell the perfume. The opiate of the
masses. Don’t you feel the power? The hope. The inspiration.

MARK
I fee the power of the bat and I hope I hit some home runs.

HENRY
If you believe in the American dream it can be yours. That’s how we got this far.
From nothing.

MARK
I’m going to be nothing if I’m late.

HENRY
Okay, you study the rest in the car. Everybody so difficult today.

DAISY
Smile, Henry, a gourmet dinner will be ready when you return.

HENRY
Good.

16
 MARK
Wish me many home runs.

JULIE
Good luck. Swing for the fences.

DAISY
Break a leg! Break a bat!
(DAISY and JULIE wave goodbye from the kitchen. HENRY and MARK
EXIT. DAISY is preparing Peking Duck with JULIE assisting.)

JULIE
When am I going to get to have any fun?

DAISY
You get to practice piano.

JULIE
Yippee, I hang out with dead composers. I want to play softball, kickbox, fish.
It’s not fair.

DAISY
Of course it isn’t.

JULIE
So help me.

DAISY
You’ve seen your father’s temper.

JULIE
Mount Fuji.

DAISY
Do you want him to be mad at me? You see what happens.

JULIE
No.

DAISY
Isn’t helping your mom prepare for cooking class fun?

JULIE
Not exactly. Why does Dad love Mark more than me?

17
 DAISY
Your dad cares for you too. He just doesn’t know how to show it.

JULIE
(Repeating what DAISY has said to her over and over)
That’s always your answer. Why does Dad beat us? Because he can’t hug and
kiss us to death. Because that’s how he was raised. Only Americans show and
tell.

DAISY
Why don’t you prove your father wrong by being true to yourself? Get straight
A’s in spite of everything. You can you know. If you weren’t so boycrazy. Do
things for yourself and don’t expect any instant rewards. That’s what mature
women do. People are always telling me you’re really mature for your age.

JULIE
Is that ever enough?

DAISY
What do you think? I have a secret to share with you, but you can’t tell anyone.
Okay?

JULIE
I promise.

DAISY
Cross your heart.

JULIE
And hope to die.

DAISY
The university told me today that my cooking class is the most popular. They
want me to teach three more classes.

JULIE
Did you tell Dad?

DAISY
They want to cancel your father’s class. Not enough students in Acorn Ohio
want to learn Chinese.

JULIE
Big surprise.

18
 DAISY
Julie, we shouldn’t have bought this house. I told your dad living on a dead-end
street would invite evil spirit. Bad feng-shui.
(Peking Opera music plays, overlaid with Mike Oldfield “Tubular Bells” for
a few moments while DAISY moves and clangs pots and pans to chase
evil spirits.)

JULIE
Dead-end streets are safer.

DAISY
Too much competition in our house very bad.

JULIE
Dad will recover. He hated teaching part-time.
(Uses face and hands to convey 4 tones: flat, rising, a scooped U, sharp
fall)
Ma. Ma. Ma. Ma!

DAISY
Evil spirits have already invaded. Do you not feel it?
(DAISY clangs a pot and pan, startling JULIE. JULIE, a bit spooked, scalds
herself.)

JULIE
Mom, nobody believes that stuff any more. Nobody.

DAISY
I’m going to be home late three nights a week.

JULIE
Dad will kill you.

DAISY
We’ll have more money. A lot more money.

JULIE
Dad will love you.

DAISY
I need your help. You know how you’re always asking for something more
meaningful to do.

19
 JULIE
Oh no. What do you want?

DAISY
I’m promoting you to sous-chef, assistant breadwinner. You help me make
marinades, wrap shumai, chop veggies for my classes and serve dinner for me
when I’m gone. I’ll pay you 50 dollars a week.

JULIE
50 dollars? 50 times 52 is two thousand six hundred dollars. I accept.

DAISY
It has to be our secret. The money.

JULIE
Why are you doing this?

DAISY
Right now we need to figure out where to hang my duck to dry. How about that
curtain rod?
(DAISY carries duck to curtain rod with JULIE following with a pan to
catch the drippings.)

JULIE
No way. The neighbors will swarm outside the window and call us names.

DAISY
Where then?
(DAISY looks around)

JULIE
How about the cabinet knob?
(DAISY walks back to kitchen to inspect cabinet knob with JULIE following
with pan)

DAISY
Too flimsy. Inconvenient. It will have to be the curtain rod.
(DAISY returns to curtain rod, JULIE following.)

JULIE
Mom, I beg you, please don’t. You and Dad promised we were going to fit in
better here.

20
 DAISY
Grow up, Julie. A thousand pairs of eyes watch us wherever we go. They are
our shadows, tracing our steps.
(DAISY hangs the duck up and points at her duck proudly.)
See that?
(LIGHTS DIM to SPOTLIGHT, a few bars of “Bali Hai” from South Pacific
play as DAISY and JULIE sway with duck, staring at the duck)
Our family is a Peking duck, strung up for the viewing public. Prized for the
crispy skin, not the insides.
(LIGHTS resume to normal)

JULIE
Tastes good, though, right?

DAISY
Exquisite with hoisin sauce, mandarin pancakes, cucumber slices and scallions.

JULIE
Let me touch the twinkling duck for good luck.

DAISY
Leave the art alone. Go play “Annie’s Song” for your mother.

JULIE
I hate that song. Don’t you ever get sick of listening to that mushy song over
and over again?

DAISY
You’re talking to your new boss. I’ll take you to see the Robert Redford double
feature next Saturday. “The Sting” and “The Way We Were.”

JULIE
Robert Redford, awesome.
(JULIE EXITS.)

DAISY
I know. An American Icon.
(Barbra Streisand’s “The Way We Were” plays softly in the background.
There is an applause track which DAISY acknowledges to the audience
before singing or lip-synching. She mimes Stresiand, using a basting
brush as a microphone.)
“Memories light the corners of my mind, misty watercolor memories of the way
we were. Can it be that it was all so simple then, or has time rewritten every
line?”

21
(FADE OUT)

END OF SCENE 2

22
 ACT I

SCENE 3

SETTING: Lim house, living room, 6 months later.

AT RISE: DAISY wears a new colorful, provocative dress

to match her newly permed hair. DAISY,
MARK and JULIE are singing and dancing to
Helen Reddy’s “Delta Dawn.”

DAISY, JULIE, MARK

“Delta Dawn, what’s that flower you got on? Could it be a faded rose from days
gone by? And did I hear you say you was gonna meet me here today to take
you to the mansion in the sky?”
(DAISY pirouettes as if modeling for a famed fashion house when HENRY
ENTERS. HENRY is carrying two bags of groceries. HENRY looks aghast
at DAISY’s new perm.)

HENRY
Aaaiyaaa! What is going on?

JULIE
What’s it look like? We’re having fun.

MARK
Lots of fun.

DAISY
Harmless singing.

JULIE
Join us.

HENRY
Stop the music. Children, go do your homework.
(JULIE and MARK EXIT.)

DAISY
What do you think of the new me? Irresistible? Sexy?

HENRY
You should have asked me.

23
 DAISY
I wanted to surprise you.

HENRY
(Sniffs DAISY’s hair)
What is this? I make better perfumes in my lab.

DAISY
The smell will wear off in two days.

HENRY
I hate French poodles.

DAISY
Don’t worry. The curls will fall.

HENRY
You’re a walking fire hazard.

DAISY
Why such a big deal, Henry? I’ve had straight hair all my life. Is it so bad to
want a change? A small change?

HENRY
Warn me next time.

DAISY
Henry, don’t be absurd. We came to America to change. To be free.

HENRY
That a new dress? Was it on sale?

DAISY
I paid for it with my own hard-earned money.

HENRY
(Angry)
Your money? Your money is my money. You’ve been stealing from me.

DAISY
Of course not.

HENRY
Bring me the checkbooks.

24
 DAISY
Henry! Don’t ruin my good news. I have a special announcement to make. I
want the children to hear. Big news. I even bought butter pecan ice cream.
Mark! Julie! Come here!
(DAISY retrieves and scoops ice cream into four bowls.)

HENRY
One bomb after another. Life with you is like re-living Pearl Harbor.
(JULIE and MARK ENTER.)

JULIE
What is it?

HENRY
Your mother has another bomb to drop on us.

JULIE
How exciting!

MARK
Butter pecan. Dad’s favorite.

HENRY
Big bomb.

JULIE
What is it?

DAISY
The good news is that you’ll be seeing more of me. No more 3 nights a week
away from home.

MARK
Yes! We’ll be a family again.

HENRY
They canceled Gourmet Chinese Cooking?

DAISY
I’ve been asked to do a cooking show on T.V.! They are offering me an advance
of 50 thousand dollars and that doesn’t include royalties from my cookbooks. I
can quit my teaching job. Isn’t that fabulous?

25
 HENRY
50 thousand dollars? No kidding. Oh my.

MARK
We’re finally rich. Would this be a good time to ask for a new guitar?

JULIE
Movie stars. “Mr. Redford, I’d like you to meet my daughter Julie.”

HENRY
Is this job in Acorn?

DAISY
Cleveland.

HENRY
No. A family that eats together stays together. We did not come to America to
eat Big Macs every night.

DAISY
It’s only 45 minutes away. We don’t eat together all the time now.

HENRY
I know. My fault. Everybody all American. We chase money so much we are
falling apart.

DAISY
I thought you’d be happy for me!

MARK
Be happy, Dad. I am. We’re going to be famous. Everyone watches TV.

HENRY
Daisy, you always complain work and pressure too much. Why you so crazy to
cook fancy dishes for total strangers? I ask you is that right?

DAISY
Now with each of us working only one job full-time, I promise you, Henry, our
lives will improve. Substantially

JULIE
I’m ecstatic. Let’s go shopping.

26
 DAISY
More dresses.
(Feeds HENRY ice cream)
I never dared to believe that the American dream belongs to me. But it does.
Me.

HENRY
The dream belongs to us, together.

DAISY
(Teases HENRY a little with ice cream)
That’s what I’m saying. Equal opportunity dreams. Everything we ever dreamed
of is happening. An American home, healthy smart kids, great jobs, decent
money. Soon we will be able to move anywhere you want. Don’t you want to
get there sooner rather than later so we can really taste life?

HENRY
Life is 99% perfect here.

DAISY
Anywhere you like, Henry. Just close your eyes and picture the warm blue
ocean.

MARK
Electric guitars. Screaming fans.

JULIE
Acting lessons. Love scenes.

HENRY
No!

DAISY
No what?

HENRY
I need you home. We live here and now. Julie and Mark are wild bamboo
reeds, decadent teenagers.

JULIE
We are not.

27
 HENRY
Chinese character for tranquility, a woman is under a man’s roof. I’m right,
check the dictionary.

DAISY
Henry please let’s discuss –

HENRY
No more talk. Over. Daisy, get my Chinese newspaper.

DAISY
Children, I think you two better leave your dad and me alone. Close your
bedroom doors.

JULIE
Please don’t fight again.

HENRY
Listen to your mother.

MARK
First promise you won’t hurt each other. No more beatings.

JULIE
If you hit each other this time I swear I’m calling the police.

DAISY
That won’t be necessary. We’re adults. Right, Henry?

HENRY
Of course. Adults.
(MARK and JULIE EXIT hesitantly.)

HENRY
My word is law.

DAISY
What kind of thing is that to say? We live in America.

HENRY
There can only be one king. One President. One.

28
 DAISY
You promised me that after I put you through university, the king would help
me.

HENRY
I did. You’re a terrific teacher.

DAISY
But that wasn’t my dream.

HENRY
You’re a natural. You love English.

DAISY
I taught to survive. Not to live.

HENRY
Sacrifice for family. Family most important. Our family needs gluing.

DAISY
I’ll ask for a paycut if that changes anything, makes things easier. I’ll dedicate
my cookbooks to you, the man who made it all possible. A good, hot dinner will
still be ready when you return from work. Julie volunteered to help out. Give it
a try, that’s all I’m asking. I’ve been an obedient wife. Don’t I deserve one vivid
dream? Please?

HENRY
All about you. What about our family?

DAISY
I have a master’s degree. A chef’s license. Please let me use my education.

HENRY
You want to pursue a Ph.D., I fully support you. Doctor and Doctor Lim sounds
musical to me.

DAISY
No more dissertations and paper cuts.

HENRY
Don’t you want to know what I brought you?

DAISY
No bribery tonight, Henry.

29
 HENRY
A gift that challenges you.

DAISY
You bought me a present that tests me?

HENRY
Look in those bags.

DAISY
(DAISY walks to the grocery bags and unbags one package of chicken
after another.)
Chicken, chicken, chicken.

HENRY
On sale, 39 cents a pound. I know how you like chicken.

DAISY
(Throws a chicken)
How can we eat chicken every single day until the day we die?

HENRY
You want to be the famous chef, you figure it out. Impress us with your genius.

DAISY
What if this is my only chance?

HENRY
That’s why I buy so much food. Insurance.

DAISY
I’m not asking any more, Henry. I’m begging.

HENRY
You will do what I say.

DAISY
Too late. I resigned. Yesterday.

HENRY
What? Say again.

DAISY
I had to. For us, Henry, us.

30
 (HENRY grabs DAISY and locks her arms behind her back. HENRY and
DAISY are against the kitchen sink.)

HENRY
How dare you defy me. Apologize.

DAISY
I had no idea you so against me.

HENRY
(HENRY pulls DAISY’s hair and pushes her head into the sink. He
threatens to turn on the tap water on DAISY’s new perm.)
I demand you apologize.

DAISY
My whole life is on jumbo sorry.
(HENRY runs tap water over DAISY’s new perm. DAISY and HENRY
struggle for a few minutes, moving into the living room, then end up on
the floor. HENRY sits on DAISY’s back.)

DAISY
Get off me!

HENRY
Apologize!

DAISY
I said no.

HENRY
Why you stir me?

DAISY
I’m sorry but America is the land of the free and the brave.
(JULIE and MARK rush in, trying to pry HENRY off DAISY.)

JULIE
Stop. You disgust me.

MARK
Some adults.

31
 DAISY
Children, go away. Your father and I were just wrestling.

JULIE
Liars.

HENRY
(To DAISY)
I will not tolerate such ugly insolence!

MARK
Julie, call the police.

HENRY
Don’t you dare.

JULIE
I will if I have to. I’m not afraid to die.
(When JULIE approaches the phone, HENRY dismounts DAISY and grips
JULIE. MARK comforts DAISY.)

HENRY
Hang up.

JULIE
Only if you stop hurting Mom.

MARK
Dad, you promised no more violence.

HENRY
You take after you mother, I treat you like your mother.
(HENRY twists JULIE’s arms.)
You talk so big and fancy as if you are above heaven. Do you want death so
badly?

JULIE
Why don’t you just kill us? Go ahead, knock the breath out of me, kill your first
born girl who brings you nothing but bad luck. Isn’t that what you want?
What’s stopping you?

(DAISY retrieves a cleaver and approaches HENRY)

32
 HENRY
Shut up.

DAISY
Let go of her, or I’ll chop your head off.

(HENRY lets go of JULIE)

MARK
I’m calling the police from the neighbor’s house.

HENRY
(Hands up)
Fine, let the police come and take us away, lock us up. You think anybody
wants two ungrateful Chinese kids. Don’t you listen? We’re gooks to the outside
world. Gooks. Use your brains.

DAISY
Henry, please don’t destroy the children. Spare them.

JULIE
No, we’re not monsters. We’re full-blooded Americans.

HENRY
You think so?

JULIE
I know so. Aren’t we, mom?

HENRY
You’re imported. Made in China. Made of foreign material. Even Mark knows
that.

MARK
Somebody will take us.

HENRY
Who? Who else do you have? You so smart. Name one person.

(Uncomfortable silence as everyone looks at each other and realizes that,

in fact, they have nobody.)

33
 DAISY
Mark, your dad’s right. Don’t call. We can’t have the neighbors thinking we’re
bad Chinese.
(Suddenly aware and embarrassed she’s holding a cleaver)
We’ll work it out somehow by ourselves. Like we always do. Right, Henry?

HENRY
Your mother quit her job because she misses being home so much.

JULIE
Really?

DAISY
Something like that.

HENRY
I’m going out. I need some fresh air.
(HENRY EXITS.)

JULIE
What are we going to do? I’m afraid to leave you and Dad alone any more.

DAISY
I’m not your responsibility, Julie. You two have your own lives. Please don’t
forget.

JULIE
I hate Dad. Sometimes I wish he were dead. Don’t you, Mark?

MARK
I don’t know.

DAISY
You must never say that again.

JULIE
What are we going to do?

DAISY
Some things are better left unsaid. Keeps the spirit alive. Options open.

MARK
I’m glad you’re going to stay home.

34
 JULIE
Then I wish I were dead. Is that better? I can’t stand it. How can we live on a
volcano?

DAISY
Cut it out. Both of you have your whole lives ahead of you. Stop taking
everything so personally.

MARK
(Touching DAISY’s hair)
Mom, your beautiful hair.

DAISY
It’s only hair. It will grow out.

JULIE
Will it?

DAISY
Everything does.

(The Eagles “Lying Eyes” plays as we BLACK OUT.)

35
 ACT I

SCENE 4

SETTING: Lim kitchen and living room, August 8, 1974.

AT RISE: JULIE and MARK have just learned that

President Nixon has resigned from the TV set.

JULIE
I can’t believe Nixon resigned. The President of the United States of America.
What’s next!

MARK
I am such a moron. Sucker.

JULIE
He tricked everyone. Tricky Dicky. Get it?

MARK
How could Dad make us write a crook? Please promise you won’t tell anyone.

JULIE
I wrote him too, you know.

MARK
What do we do now? What changes? Anything?

JULIE
You mean, what will happen to China? To us?

MARK
Will we be deported like the Japanese?

JULIE
No. Of course not.

MARK
Hope not because my Chinese is pretty bad and I’d be really really lost.

(DAISY ENTERS.)

DAISY
Julie, Mark, stop watching TV! Too much TV stir-fries the brain.

36
 MARK
Mom, it’s summer vacation.

DAISY
So what? Totally serious, Mark, turn that idiot box off now.

MARK
Why can’t I be a regular American and relax?

JULIE
Nixon resigned. Don’t you care, Mom?

DAISY
We can no longer say American politics above Chinese politics. Quite a sad day,
isn’t it?

JULIE
He claims he was only doing what he thought was best for the whole country.

DAISY
Maybe that’s true.

JULIE
What? You’ve got to be kidding.

DAISY
Come, children, help Mommy cook bird’s nest soup.

MARK
Do we have to?

DAISY
Yes you do. And no excuses, I know you two have plenty of time.
(JULIE and MARK follow DAISY into the kitchen. DAISY gives JULIE and
MARK a nest with some feathers caught between twigs.)
Pull the feathers out carefully like this. You know, bird’s nest soup is a most
famous delicacy in China. Only reserved for very special occasions.

JULIE
What’s worth celebrating today? Our country’s falling apart.

DAISY
Get used to it. I’ve heard that ten thousand times already. It gets easier.

37
 MARK
Then what’s the special occasion? We win the lottery? I’m not getting another
bossy sister, am I?

DAISY
It’s a surprise.

MARK
You’re not sending us to military school in China, are you?

DAISY
You never know, better you behave.

JULIE
We’re actually going to swallow this?

DAISY
This next came from Chinatown in New York City. Very expensive. Bird nests
are also called white gold, believed to be an elixir for youth. So scarce that Hong
Kong buys many of their nests from Thailand. One pound fetches a thousand
dollars.

JULIE
A thousand dollars!

MARK
Teach me how to find nests. I’ll make us rich!

DAISY
Oh no, stick to being Alice Cooper. People risk their lives swinging on vines,
climbing 500 foot high cliffs to collect bird’s nest.

MARK
Cool. So sick it’s cool.

DAISY
(Stirs in beaten eggs)
Watch. You pour the eggs in slowly, gently stirring to create little streams. Too
much action you destroy the delicate balance and ruin the taste. Julie, Mark,
wash your hands and set the table.

JULIE
Aren’t we waiting for Dad?

38
 MARK
Yeah, where’s Dad? Should I call him? He’s usually home by now.

DAISY
Your father has to work late so tonight we eat without him for a change. Jut
tonight.

MARK
(Disappointed)
Is that the surprise?

DAISY
Gives us a chance to really talk, isn’t that nice?

JULIE
Talk? You mean lecture. “Study. Practice piano. Save money.”

MARK
“Get straight A’s. Go to the library. Watch less TV.”

DAISY
Tonight both of you must listen very closely to your mother. I mean it, promise
me all ears.

JULIE
We know, parents talk, children groan.

DAISY
Don’t worry, we’ll still have fun.
(MARK and JULIE set table. DAISY brings soup out and serves.)
Let us eat while food is steaming hot. Best and only time to eat.

MARK
OK.

DAISY
So how was your day?

JULIE
Fine.

MARK
Busy.

39
 DAISY
Me too. I was very busy.

MARK
So?

DAISY
So what is everybody waiting for? Santa Claus? Taste the soup.
(EVERYONE tastes the soup.)

MARK
Delicious.

JULIE
Five gold stars.

DAISY
Try again, but this time smell the soup before you swallow.
(EVERYONE sniffs.)

MARK
Hmmmm. Yummy perfume.

DAISY
Savor it.

JULIE
Smells a little like the sea –

MARK
Fish?

DAISY
Yes, the soup is packed with very subtle island flavors. You still like?

JULIE
It’s so complex, yet interesting.

MARK
Far out.

DAISY
Marvelous! Now I can share the incredible mystery. This nest was home to a
very special bird. This small bird lives on this deserted island where there’s

40
 DAISY
nothing to eat. Almost nothing. Such a delicate bird, smitten with glorious
potential, rotting away in some wasteland. Trapped in a most brittle home. A
lifetime spent on a few sticks and leaves. It’s tragic. Know anyone like that?
Hint, hint?

MARK
No. Not really.

JULIE
Me neither.

DAISY
The bird has to regurgitate a sticky liquid to glue its shabby nest together. When
the bird dies, these nests are cleaned so they can be eaten. All that trouble just
to be digested, and it’s absolutely scrumptious. Can you imagine?

JULIE
That’s gross. Why is everything gross a delicacy?

MARK
Oh my God. Are we eating bird vomit for dinner?
(pushes his bowl away)
Yuck. Dad can have mine.

DAISY
(Hurt)
Can’t we enjoy one bowl together? One bowl? Is that too much to ask?
Nobody appreciates how I work so hard.

JULIE
We’re sorry. Aren’t we, Mark?

MARK
All right, one bowl. But we tell no one.

JULIE
Agreed.

DAISY
Oh, why can’t you children give me one moment of happiness, one moment
where the three of us are glued together by our sweat and tears like that little
bird? Why?

41
 JULIE
What’s wrong?

MARK
We said we’re sorry.

DAISY
Impossible to please whole family. But I do my best, you know?

JULIE
Of course.

DAISY
Everything upside down. One minute you are most popular, next minute a
complete disgrace. But life is very complicated. Not black and white like –

JULIE
Watergate.

MARK
Panda bears.

DAISY
I was 19 when I married your father. My father pressured me to marry since we
were poor and he wanted us out of the house. Too many mouths to feed. I was
the oldest and my younger sister wanted to marry. We had to marry in order.

MARK
You were poor.

JULIE
And you never got to do the things you wanted to do. Your father wouldn’t let
you.

DAISY
Yes. That’s why Mommy bought you kids two very spectacular presents. I don’t
want you to suffer like me.

JULIE
What’s going on?

DAISY
Mark, in your bedroom closet, I’ve hidden an electric guitar. While I’m not
recommending a career in rock, I want you to be most happy.

42
 MARK
Fantastic. Thanks a million, Mom, I can’t wait to jam. Wait, does Dad know?

DAISY
Mark, you promise not to breathe a word to your father about Julie’s present?
Even if you get super mad at your sister?

MARK
I promise, never ever.

DAISY
I bought you a five-year prescription of birth control pills.

JULIE
What? I’m not even having sex!

DAISY
Just give the doctor a call when you’re ready. This doesn’t mean you have my
permission to sleep around. I don’t need to know who you’re sleeping with or
whom. I’m not that liberated.

JULIE
I’d prefer acting lessons.

DAISY
You’ll thank me someday.

MARK
Dad will kill you if he ever finds them.

JULIE
Why not give me a hysterectomy?

DAISY
Very dramatic. I bet you’ll appreciate these gifts later.

MARK
We didn’t get you anything.

DAISY
But you did.

JULIE
We did?

43
 DAISY
You two bought me this lovely camera. Than you kids so much.
(JULIE and MARK are bewildered when DAISY shows off the fancy new
camera)
I want to capture your best smile. Two of you, give mommy a toothy smile.
(JULIE and MARK flash a brief smile.)
No, smile wider. Longer. Come on, I need a real smile that can last a lifetime.
(JULIE and MARK smile better, pose.)
That’s it. Act natural. Pretend I just told you a joke.
(DAISY takes some more photographs, then hands JULIE the camera.)
Your turn. I give you my best smile too so you can remember your mother
happy.
(DAISY smiles and models. JULIE snaps photographs.)
Now, let Mark take some pictures.
(MARK takes photographs of DAISY.)
Think you two smarties can remember this day forever?
(DAISY takes back camera and puts aside.)

JULIE
Why do we have to imprint this in our memory?

DAISY
Very thoughtful of you to give me this camera so I could take pictures on my
vacation.

MARK/JULIE
Vacation?

DAISY
I’m taking a leave of absence.

MARK
Where are you going? And for how long?

JULIE
You’re coming back, right?

DAISY
I’m not quite sure yet.

JULIE
Oh, dear God, it’s Pearl Harbor time.

44
 MARK
I know how to stop her.
(MARK looks around, debates what to do, then goes into the closet, and
speaks from closet until he comes back out.)

DAISY
Mark, what are you doing in there? Come out here and talk to me. Three of us
sit on the couch and discuss.

MARK
No. You have to promise to stay first.

JULIE
We’ll go with you. Don’t leave us here with him.

DAISY
I’m particularly afraid for you since you’re a young woman, but I know you are
much stronger than you think. Most women are.

MARK
What about me? I’m so impressionable.

DAISY
I have total confidence in you, Mark. And Julie, promise me you’ll pick the best
university you can afford. Both of you always kindle the fires in your heart.

MARK
You and Daddy said fires are dangerous.

JULIE
College is only a couple years away.

DAISY
I can’t stay. I have to find myself.

MARK
You’re here. You’re my mother.

DAISY
I know, sweetie, but I need more –

JULIE
Why can’t you find yourself here?

45
 DAISY
Julie, you, me, we know how impossible your father can be. Stifling.
Suffocating. Stubborn.

JULIE
You’re always ordering me to be a bigger person. Telling me that it’s good
enough to know you’re right inside. That it’s nobler.

DAISY
Don’t tell me you honestly believe such toxic lies.

JULIE
I don’t know what to believe.

MARK
I believe everything you tell us.

JULIE
Why would our own mother lie?

DAISY
I made believe. It always worked before. When your dad and I told our
relatives we were coming to America, everyone laughed at us. How are two
peasants from China going to get to America? All the time we made-believe we
were Americans. And now here we are. I loved your father then because we
made-believe everything was possible. And it was. He was so alive. On fire,
ready to change our lives for the better.

JULIE
We do live better.

MARK
Much better.

DAISY
He was so revolutionary, constantly talking about how China had to change with
its people, and for its people, that I didn’t realize that he wanted me to stay the
same. But I can’t. Can’t you see what I see?

MARK
It hurts my eyes.

46
 DAISY
I’m that little bird with nothing to eat, scrambling to find bits and pieces of
myself to keep myself alive. But my scraps are only scraps. There is no snug
next. No prized youth, no gold nuggets.

JULIE
You’re leaving us, aren’t you? I demand a straight answer.

DAISY
Never demand truth unless you’re ready.
(DAISY opens closet)
One demands truth, the other hides from it. Come out now, Mark, and say
goodbye like a man.

MARK
I’m not hiding, I’m preventing.
(MARK comes out of the closet.)

DAISY
I’ve wanted to leave your father for a long time, but I waited for you to grow up.

MARK
I’m not finished growing up.

DAISY
You two have lives that are growing fuller and fuller. Less and less room. Me,
I’m getting too old to make-believe.

MARK
Dad will come around and let you do your cooking show. I’ll talk to him man to
man.

DAISY
Sweetheart, it’s not about cooking.

MARK
And we’ll behave better. You’ll see. No more TV.

JULIE
Yeah, Mark and I will do more chores, we’ll get jobs and give you the money,
we’ll talk to Dad until we’re black and blue, anything. Please give us a chance. I
know Dad loves you. You said yourself he doesn’t know how to show us, but
that deep down inside he loves us too much. Please? Don’t give up.

47
 DAISY
Actually, your dad agrees that it’s better that I go.

JULIE
What?

MARK
You’re lying. Dad told me Chinese people don’t get divorced, they just get mad.
Super mad.

DAISY
We signed the divorce papers yesterday.

JULIE
We’re divorced like that, you didn’t fight over us and ask us who we want to live
with?

DAISY
When I leave, he’ll poison you against me so I need you to be extra strong and
know truth inside. You’ll never forget how much I love you, will you?

JULIE
Never ever.

DAISY
And Mark?
(MARK remains silent)
When you play your rock music, maybe you’ll see my moonface.

MARK
I’d rather have a mom than an electric guitar.

DAISY
That’s what you say now but things change. You’ll see, I promise.

JULIE
At least wait until we buy you a real goodbye present. Something we get to
choose.

MARK
I know. Wait a few more minutes. We have a present for you.

DAISY
Granting me happiness will be the best present.

48
 MARK
Give me just a few minutes. I’ll be right back.
(MARK EXITS quickly.)

DAISY
Julie, now that we’re alone, I have a few things to say to you. I predict that
Mark will always be happier, but you’ll be more successful. Do you know what
that means?

JULIE
That I pout too much? Need to smile more?

DAISY
Grab on real tight to your aspirations.

JULIE
I’m as happy or depressed as I need to be.

DAISY
Do you still want to be an actor most of all? Because you know how your father
feels about movie stars –

JULIE
Sluts.

DAISY
See why I’m worried about you. You will have to choose. Plan ahead.

JULIE
Mom, please, I can’t think of that now.

DAISY
But you must, Julie. Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness are unalienable
rights. You know I’m not making that up.

JULIE
The Declaration of Independence.
(MARK returns and hands DAISY John Denver album Greatest Hits Part I,
but the cover is hidden from sight.)

MARK
Your favorite. Let’s sing.
(MARK and JULIE serenade DAISY.)

49
 MARK
“Come let me love you.”

JULIE
“Let me give my life to you.”

MARK AND JULIE

“Let me drown in your laughter.”

MARK, JULIE, DAISY

“Let me die in your arms. Let me lay down beside you. Let me always be with
you. Come let me love you. Come love me again.”

DAISY
Stop. So beautiful. Thank you.

JULIE
I love you.

MARK
Please stay. We love you so much. If you stay, we’ll listen to John Denver
forever.

(DAISY turns John Denver album around such that audience see Denver’s
bright smiling face with his hand over his hat.)

DAISY
This is killing me too but I still have to go.
(DAISY retrieves her suitcases from closet. To JULIE)
I need you to be strong as an ox, take care of Mark, take care of yourself.

MARK
I don’t need anyone.

JULIE
You’re frightening me.

MARK
There must be some grave mistake. Just check into a hotel. After a few days,
Dad will apologize.

DAISY
I guarantee you two will be just fine.

50
 JULIE
How can you be so sure?

DAISY
I have to be.

JULIE
Address, phone number.

DAISY
Please be patient. Let me find myself first.

MARK
If you walk out that door, I’ll hate you forever. I’ll hate you so much for the rest
of my life that I’ll forget you.

DAISY
Mark, I know you don’t mean that. You’re just hurting. Give Mommy a kiss
goodbye.

MARK
(MARK kisses DAISY)
Just go.

DAISY
The divorce was your father’s decision too.

MARK
“Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn” who decided what. I hate you all.

DAISY
Mark!
(DAISY tries to comfort MARK, but MARK goes back into the closet.)
Do you hate me too, Julie? Try not to hate me forever.

JULIE
Is it that easy? Just walk out and wreck our lives.

DAISY
Your mother deserves a life too. I know you two would leave me once you
turned 18. All your plans to move out. Chase Hollywood dreams and rock stars.
You two would prefer that because than I would be the abandoned victim. Old
and abandoned, begging you and Mark to squeeze out a little bit of time to visit
me. Admit it.

51
 JULIE
No. If you wait a little longer, I swear I’ll take care of you. I’ll become a medical
doctor, just for you. What you’ve always wanted.

DAISY
You don’t have to be a doctor, I was wrong. I’m sorry.

JULIE
Oh god. The world as I know it is over.

DAISY
(Packs her camera)
Please explain to Mark when he’s older. Make him practice that guitar. I look
forward to seeing both of your names in neon lights.

JULIE
We’ll try to do you proud.

DAISY
Take good care of each other. And Julie, hold out for your Robert Redford.

JULIE
I’m never getting married. Why bother.

DAISY
You’re that lonely bird too.
(DAISY kisses JULIE farewell and raps lightly on MARK’s closet door.
JULIE blocks door.)

JULIE
You can’t leave.

DAISY
Don’t let me die here, kids. Give me what I gave you. Life.
(DAISY EXITS. JULIE breaks down. MARK comes out of the closet
quietly.)

MARK
This is your fault.

JULIE
What are you talking about? It’s everybody’s fault. We bored her. You hear d
her. She didn’t come to America to be domesticated. Depressed. People come
to America for great fantasy and adventure.

52
 MARK
You could’ve stopped her. But you were too understanding.

JULIE
She left us no choice. You’ll understand someday.

MARK
That’s what she thinks. What you think.

JULIE
That’s how I feel. I don’t know what to think any more.

MARK
There is no more.

JULIE
Maybe she’ll be back tomorrow. Or in a week.

MARK
That’s make-believe and you know it. Stop trying to protect me.

JULIE
She has to come back.

MARK
Mom left me in the closet. What does that tell me? You?

JULIE
She still loves us. No matter what. Doesn’t she?

MARK
We’re divorced. If she comes back, tell your mother she better show good
behavior. I don’t want or need a lousy mother. And you shouldn’t either.
(MARK returns to closet and SLAMS the door.)

JULIE
But I do.

(David Bowie’s “Young Americans” is heard as scene fades out. “She was
a Young American. Young American, Young American. She was a Young
American. All right, she was a young American….All the way from
Washington.” FADE OUT)

END OF ACT I

53
 ACT II

SCENE 1

SETTING: Lim house, messier, 4 months later.

AT RISE: HENRY, MARK and JULIE are eating dinner.

JULIE looks more like a housewife than a
daughter.

MARK
What the hell are we eating?

HENRY
You are not to swear ever again, you hear me? Chinese people shouldn’t swear!

MARK
Why the hell not? Give me something to live for, damn it!

JULIE
What’s wrong with my shrimp in black bean sauce?

HENRY
I like very much but not every day. Didn’t you learn anything more gourmet
from the wicked witch?

JULIE
If you had let her write her cookbook we’d be eating better, wouldn’t we? It’s
your own damn fault we have nothing more appetizing.

HENRY
You are not a liberty to discuss in that tone. I resent how both of you blame me.
Your mother was a selfish shrew! Unstable too. Simply cuckoo. Nothing anyone
could do.

MARK
If you had let Mom cook outside the way you made her cook inside.

JULIE
If you had bought her flowers and taken her to the movies.

HENRY
We are not to discuss your mother to me. She’s dead to me. Dead as a rat.

54
 JULIE
Not dead! Away. Missing.

HENRY
I warned your mother that if she left I would pronounce her dead to the world.
She had to go very far away. That was the deal. In China, tradition says when
a mother deserts her family, she must kill herself. Dead or no divorce. Tradition
is on my side.

JULIE
What drastic bargaining. Death, the final markdown.

HENRY
Shuts people up immediately like magic. We need to have family discussion on
how your mother died.

JULIE
Heart attack.

HENRY
My first choice is plane crash. People feel very sorry for you at once offering to
feed you strange casseroles. My question is what airline do we pick?

MARK
(Throws plate on the floor)
Stop this shit! Why are we eating and drinking unrecognizable parts?

JULIE
Mark, I just waxed the floor.

HENRY
You want a mother.

MARK
(Composing himself, performs a ritual)
Not really. I am the Five Chinese Brothers, able to swallow the sea in a single
gulp. I have the power to withstand fire. I cannot be drowned. I cannot lose
my head. I cannot be touched.

HENRY
Yes! That’s the spirit, son! Keep going. Congratulations, you’re on the road to
recovery.

55
 JULIE
Too much time in the closet, Mark, and not enough oxygen to your brain. We
need to talk tonight.
(To HENRY)
Mark doesn’t know what he’s saying. Of course we want our mother.

HENRY
Then I’ve got good news for you.

JULIE
You found her.
(MARK is unsure whether to be excited or nonchalant.)

HENRY
I’m working on it. For the past 4 months we’ve been rebuilding our characters,
getting stronger. Now Daddy share precious secrets with you.
(Points to dishes on the table)
Queen bee food for lots of energy. This has shark liver oil mixed in to purify our
blood.

JULIE
And you’ve been blaming me for the funny taste.

HENRY
We must free ourselves of your mother, the toxin.

MARK
Good riddance.

JULIE
Never.

HENRY
I put dried male deer balls in your tea. Undo your mother’s sissy work on us.

MARK
(MARK takes a sip)
Dried deer balls. How pungent. Nothing will hurt me now.

HENRY
Finely grated.

JULIE
Am I going to grow chest hair?

56
 HENRY
It’s not in your tea, silly. Dried male deer organs are for men, they increase a
man’s potency. Women desire potency.

MARK
(Intrigued)
Is something supernatural going to happen to my body?

JULIE
I want a taste.
(Sips from MARK’s teacup)
Tastes very unusual. Robust. I like it.
(Finishes the rest)

MARK
It’s gross and it’s a delicacy. Double happiness.

HENRY
This stuff powerful. Make our family better looking to attract new vital woman.
(HENRY heads to the living room before MARK and JULIE)

MARK
We don’t want anyone old or new. I told you I am invincible.

JULIE
And I told you only in the closet. What am I going to do with you? I know how
bad it hurts. You’re not alone. I want to help. Talk to me. Scream, cry, let it all
out. I promise you’ll feel better.
(JULIE reaches out to MARK, but MARK rejects JULIE)

MARK
How? You’re not my mother.

JULIE
Give me a hug.

MARK
Don’t upset the little bird. The bird is rebuilding his mighty fortress and will be
very angry and strike out if you disturb him.

JULIE
I’m mourning too, you know. We’re not birds with wings to flap. We’re people.

57
 HENRY
(HENRY is proud of MARK. HE opens his briefcase.)
My master plan already working. Mark is stronger than before. Come to the
living room, I show you Daddy’s remarkable progress.
(MARK and JULIE ENTER living room. HENRY has emptied a briefcase full
of photographs and letters onto the coffee table.)
Look at all these gorgeous women. Beautiful love letters. Accompanied by
beautiful photographs. They want me. Young vibrant spring chickens. In
search of the cock of the walk.

JULIE
Oh please, so naïve, they want citizenship, the ultimate aphrodisiac.

HENRY
Such a pessimist. Cheer up. Your father a handsome man, desirable, virile.
Sexier than Robert Redford. Your mother was very wrong to leave me.

MARK
What are you doing with all those photos?

HENRY
Our first family project. We need a woman we can all get along with. So I
thought all of us go through these and rank these women in order of beauty and
compassion.
(Rejects the first photo on top and tosses)
Beauty and compassion, remember in proper order. From everybody’s top three
we vote again.

JULIE
This is sick.

HENRY
This is democracy. Julie, you’re good in English. Daddy need your help, write
touching letter full of big heart to the ladies for your daddy. We’ll catch a kind
beauty. Together.

JULIE
I think you should write your own.

HENRY
Do you have enough skin for another beating?

JULIE
Mark’s right. We’re doing just fine by ourselves. Perfectly fine.

58
 HENRY
You two so disobedient. This is why I need to hurry up make decision. Both of
you swear, talk back, hide in closets, howl all night, not normal. A wife will save
us from despair.

JULIE
Mom might be back soon. How much longer can it take to find yourself?

HENRY
I said your mother is dead to me. We wait 4 months because death and the
number four are pronounced the same in Chinese, si. If after 4 months, your
mother didn’t come crawling back, she agree Daddy should remarry. Not fair to
keep Daddy’s life on hold forever.

JULIE
Why can’t you meet someone the normal way? Slowly. What’s wrong with
American women?

HENRY
American women like American cars. You stick your key in them, and they start
right up.

JULIE
Gross!

MARK
They’re ugly toads. All of them. Sorry losers.

HENRY
Such impudence. I’m the one taking care of you. I’m the one who has to find a
wife who likes 2 grown children. You’re long past cute and cuddly, far away
from charming. So much pressure. Why you two so against Daddy? Daddy
loves you. Daddy could send you to military school in Taiwan, but no I keep you
here next to me because Daddy loves you. Now what do you have to say for
yourselves?

MARK
(Dumps all the photographs and letters on the floor. Steps on a few)
I hate you all. You made Mom leave and never talk to us again so you could
murder her in my heart. Well you win. I feel stupid and ridiculous. I don’t want
any mother. I don’t want anyone.

59
 HENRY
(Grabs MARK)
Stop it. I paid good money for these contacts. After you pick those photos up,
you’ll go to your room.
(MARK goes into the closet without picking up any photographs or
letters.)
Get out of the closet, Mark! And stop cursing. I mean it!

MARK
I’ll do what I want.

HENRY
One day you’re going to have to face facts, Mark. You either whip destiny into
shape or it whips you. Life is an organic compound. When poisonous chemicals
attack, you must storm back with every element of your body.

MARK
Too much fighting. When will it end?

HENRY
Losing one vital molecule can set off an entire chain reaction, destroying your
vast potential energy. Force yourself to be a man, Mark. Force without thrust,
without will, becomes impotent, crumples and dies.
(JULIE begins to leave.)
I didn’t say you could go. Stay. Help me pick up photos. I have to talk to you.
(HENRY and JULIE pick up photographs and letters)

JULIE
I think Mark should see a psychiatrist.

HENRY
No, no. No cuckoo birds in my family. No woman want to marry man with crazy
son. It’s just a phase. He’ll graduate from it. With honors. It’s probably
healthier than crying every day.

JULIE
Are you recommending I join Mark in the closet?

HENRY
No of course not.

JULIE
How do you keep your head so high? Dried deer balls and queen bee food.

60
 HENRY
Silly girl, and you want to be a movie star. The girl with red eyes. The more
you cry, the smaller your eyes get. Didn’t you listen to what I advised Mark?
You have to force yourself with every bone of your body. Thrust yourself one
inch a day at least. Otherwise family dissolves into water. “Nothing is so gentle,
so adaptable as water yet it can wear away that which is hardest and strongest.”
(Forceful, with conviction)
Force without thrust, without will, become impotent, crumples and dies.

JULIE
I didn’t know you were so superior. A diamond.

HENRY
(Gets in JULIE’s face)
You want to see your daddy snap into two. Is that it, you hate your daddy so
much?

JULIE
(Frightened)
Of course not.

HENRY
You want to smash Daddy into a thousand pieces.

JULIE
No!

HENRY
Then what, Julie! Daddy survived the Japanese occupation. Survived over 25
years of poverty. You think Daddy going to roll over and die over a woman?
Say something.

JULIE
(Timidly. Confused)
I don’t know. I guess I need to know you feel something. That you feel crushed
too. That we’re all in this together, that we’re still a family. Do we have to
suffer alone? Mark stays in the closet, I’m in my room, and you’re out all hours
doing God knows what, pursuing mail-ordered brides, going to bars. Can’t we
hold each other, real tight?

HENRY
I’m not going to cry like a shamed woman.

61
 JULIE
I didn’t say you had to.

HENRY
Julie, you all mixed up, in fact worse than Mark. You’re older so I expect you to
act more mature, to understand more, see my position, be on Daddy’s side.
Daddy’s on your side, Daddy loves you, that’s why I share private information
with you. I tell you how your mother didn’t like to try new positions. Always
same thing, so boring.

JULIE
Stop it! I don’t want to know everything. It’s not right. Can’t you see what it
does to me?

HENRY
Your so-called mother abandoned us. Stop idolizing her. She doesn’t love you
or Mark anymore. Otherwise why doesn’t she call? Write?

JULIE
Mom warned us it would take time.

HENRY
Aiya, she told you she had to find herself. And you believe her. Why? Julie
what does that mean?

JULIE
I don’t know. Someday I’ll ask her.

HENRY
All nonsense. Julie, Daddy bring you to America for better life. I try to protect
you from so much heartache. Really. Now Daddy want proof you loyal to him.
Tell Daddy now how much you honor and care for him.

JULIE
I honor and care for you.

HENRY
Such fury in your eyes. Extinguish that fire and say once more. American style.

JULIE
I love you.

62
 HENRY
I know lately you upset over housework. Too much lead in your heart. Me too.
But if you help Daddy find pretty woman, we get new wife to cook and clean for
us. Then Daddy free you to take acting lessons. What about it?

JULIE
Really?

HENRY
I let you try acting. See for yourself how shameful and humiliating. Deal?

JULIE
All right, but Dad, please wait. No reason to rush, to invite a complete stranger
into our home. I promise to be a better housewife. I’ll show you.

HENRY
Good girl.

JULIE
From now on, tastier and tidier.

HENRY
You need to improve your ironing.

JULIE
Ooh I hate ironing. What if I smile more?

HENRY
Excellent. In China children always show filial piety. Number one
commandment. There is custom in winter, dutiful sons and daughters warm up
their parents’ beds by sleeping them first. Go to my room and lie down.

JULIE
Dad, I’m too old for that. Maybe Mark.

HENRY
You will warm up bed quickly. Women have more body fat.

JULIE
I’m uncomfortable. It doesn’t feel right in America.

HENRY
Chinese custom! Nothing dirty. I wake you up when I go to sleep and you
move to your own bed.

63
 JULIE
I feel inspired. Let’s work on those romantic letters. I’ll get the typewriter.

HENRY
No good. I have to read the letters first. Tomorrow we start.

JULIE
Dad, please, don’t make me. Why me?

HENRY
Mark knows not to challenge Daddy so much. But you, you always dare to push
beyond limits. Now you must learn to trust me completely.

JULIE
Let me do something else for you. Rub your feet. Massage your back. Pick
another Chinese custom.

HENRY
Daddy has to concentrate and read these letters. No time left. If your daddy
doesn’t find another wife to relieve the pressure, I hold you accountable.

JULIE
Something else. Anything else.

HENRY
Open your eyes! Use your brain! She swindled us, Julie!

JULIE
No we don’t know that for sure.

HENRY
You promised to change into Daddy’s ten-carat diamond.

JULIE
Yes, I want to.

HENRY
Then go to my bed. Time evaporated.

JULIE
No matter how late it is, you’ll wake me up.

HENRY
Of course. Ah, Julie, one more thing, you still want that hug?

64
 JULIE
You’re kidding.

HENRY
Well since you asked for one earlier and promised to be more obedient.

JULIE
(HENRY and JULIE hug awkwardly)
Dad? Please swear you won’t rush into things. I can take very good care of us.

HENRY
Good night, sparkling diamond.
(JULIE EXITS.)
Loveless men cannot bear need long, they cannot bear fortune long. Loving
hearts find peace in love.
(HENRY picks up a few letters and photographs, but HE is unable to
concentrate. At last HENRY pulls out a secret photo of DAISY from his
breast pocket. Since HENRY is alone, he speaks, unaccented as if in
Chinese)
My beautiful Daisy, I still dream about you Daisy, your photo lies under my pillow
when I sleep and I put you in my breast pocket when I’m awake. I think you
love me, you love me not, love me, love me not. Eight years I spent chasing
you. Now you’re in another man’s arms. Don’t you miss speaking Chinese? You
shatter my heart. Love me not. A man without love, what is music to him?
(A SHORT BEAT before HENRY faces audience directly with resolve)
Force without thrust, without will, becomes impotent, crumples and dies.
(HENRY tears DAISY’s photo up and picks up a letter. A loud gong rings
and Chinese flute music plays briefly as ALICE ENTERS.)

ALICE
Dear Honorable Mister Lim, I am a simple miss. I have a respectable family,
good skin, good teeth, no children. I am also a devoted Christian. I believe in
Jesus Christ, our Lord and savior. Perhaps you need a caring God to watch over
you. If you choose me, I promise to save you.

(FADE OUT to the Rolling Stones “You Can’t Always Get What You Want.”)

END OF SCENE 1

65
 ACT II

SCENE 2

SETTING: Neil Diamond’s “America” opens Scene 2. May

1976. Lim house, re-decorated sufficiently to
reflect another woman’s presence.

AT RISE: MARK and JULIE are in the living room, waiting

for HENRY and ALICE to return home.

MARK
I don’t know whether to hate her or love her. She’s so damn cooperative and
polite. It’s infectious.
(Imitating ALICE)
If you please, sir. Please Mark sir how you say in English. God loves you, sir.

JULIE
(Imitating ALICE)
May I ask? May I beg your pardon miss?

MARK
(Imitating ALICE)
So sorry, sir. My English no good, sir.

JULIE
(Imitating ALICE)
May God bless you miss. (beat) I say we hate her.

MARK
Alice is your door prize, you know. You won her with all those witty and
charming love letters. Maybe I should hate you.

JULIE
I had no choice – you know Dad and his needs. What can he possibly see in
her?

MARK
(Imitating ALICE)
May I ask if you are hungry, sir? What you like to eat, sir? I buy you some
mashed potatoes, if you please Mark, sir. Yummy.

JULIE
Do you think I look like Mom? As pretty?

66
 MARK
I don’t remember. You have such terrible taste in women. She’s a ghost, pale,
thin and haunting. She stinks up the whole house with those mysterious beauty
secrets of the Far East.

JULIE
White paste. Alice Alabaster.
(Imitating ALICE, covering her mouth with her hand when she laughs)
You think my beauty natural, you too much, ha ha hee hee.

MARK
Alice Alabaster tried to slather some of that gunk on me. I told her we’re too
white, that everyone in America wants the perfect tan.

JULIE
She plucks my eyebrows in my sleep. “Nobody too pretty! No such thing!” Am
I grotesque?

MARK
Your eyebrows remind her of Brezhnev.

JULIE
I’d prefer the bushy look to dainty penciled-in eyebrows. Don’t you?

MARK
I sorta like Miss Alice’s eyebrows. They’re so perfect.

JULIE
They’re perfectly missing!

MARK
Well.

JULIE
Well, at least that’s the extent of her interference. Your mother.

MARK
You mean your mother.

JULIE
His mother.

MARK
Our mother.

67
 JULIE
Our evil stepmother. Let’s make Miss Kabuki so miserable she’ll go back home.

MARK
I kinda feel sorry for her.

JULIE
Don’t cave in yet.

MARK
I’ve never met anyone so desperate to be my friend. I love how she calls me sir.
Excuse me, sir. How are you sir?

JULIE
She does deserve credit for getting you to give up the closet as a second home.
But that’s it. Do we have to listen to all that God stuff? Such crap but Dad eats
it up like it was authentic Chinese food.

MARK
Julie, I’ve decided to believe in God, too.

JULIE
Why?

MARK
Why not God? Somebody has to be responsible for what’s happened.

JULIE
Exactly. How if God exists, how could God let all this shit happen to us?

MARK
Miss Alice follows me like a shadow. If I went into the closet, she would knock
and wait silently for me to come out. She would be there hours later, so quiet
that I thought she was long gone, and when I came out, she would blush and
say, “You have a good day, sir?” She waited for me for hours.

JULIE
Why doesn’t she follow me? What’s so special about you?

MARK
I wanted to be pursued.

JULIE
Such a sucker.

68
 MARK
Perhaps.

JULIE
Wake up, Mark! She can’t even cook!

(HENRY and ALICE ENTER)

HENRY
Isn’t she lovely? Delicious as cha sao bao.

JULIE
My sweet pork bun. How romantic.

ALICE
Oh Henry, so sweet, so considerate. You have a good day, Mark sir?

MARK
Oh yes. But what about you, Miss Alice? You do look enchanting.

JULIE
I had an awful day.

ALICE
(Covers her mouth with one hand when giggling)
Hee Hee. Oh no, sir, you too much. Like your father.

JULIE
Really, I’m ill. It could be something I ate. Not quite cooked enough.
(Theme to “Jaws” plays softly then increases as ALICE crosses to JULIE)

ALICE
Again? How strange. Miss Julie always sick. Miss Alice never expect to see such
big Chinese girl suffer so much weakness. Day after day require so much care.
Julie so big and so abnormal.

JULIE
So big? Are you calling me fat?

ALICE
Please, Miss Julie, you not well, go lie down. Miss Alice take care of everybody.
Family my responsibility now. I pray you feel better soon as possible.

69
 JULIE
I’m staying up, seeing I’m big enough.

ALICE
You sick, will spread filthy germs. Please rest, go to your room, shut the door.

JULIE
It’s just the common cold. I’m sure a can of soup --

ALICE
Henry –

HENRY
Peace and quite please! Daddy spill gigantic news. I want to thank you kids for
giving your new mother and me so much time alone. We’ve had a glorious
honeymoon discovering America – praise the Lord –
(HENRY, ALICE and MARK raise their right hands briefly)
but we’re ready to be a close family again. I’ve taught your new mother how to
drive, how to watch TV, how to answer the phone –
(HENRY invites ALICE to perform)

ALICE
(Picks up phone and performs. HENRY applauds)
Hallo, I’m Alice. May I help you? Sorry, not home. Sorry, taking bath. He so
bizzy, so very bizzy, you like to leave message? You take Visa? American
Express?

HENRY
How to clip coupons.

ALICE
I average 11 coupons each shopping trip.

MARK
I’m very impressed, Miss Alice.

ALICE
All this can be yours if the price is right.

HENRY
Julie, I want you to continue teaching your mother how to improve her English.

ALICE
TV teach me too. “Not available in stores.”

70
 JULIE
Here I am teaching English, just like my mother did.

ALICE
Thank you, Julie.

HENRY
Yes, Julie has been exceptionally obedient. Mark has left the closet for good.
We have three rewards for you. Like American sweepstakes,

ALICE
You may already be a winner too.

MARK
Three rewards. Triple happiness time.

HENRY
(Pulls out a legal document)
We are the proud owners of a Laundromat on Main Street. I got very cheap.

ALICE
We learn to bargain from seminar advertised on TV.

HENRY
No money down. Golden rule. Always bid at least 25% less than asking price.
We got half price, on Main Street.

ALICE
Your father very clever.

JULIE
Main Street is a ghost town. All those laid off rubber workers.

HENRY
Don’t worry! Rubber bounces. We finally own a piece of American pie. Did you
hear me? Keep your head high. We own a tasty slice!

ALICE
Time for celebration. We eat special tonight. I buy bubbly champagne. Sent
out for mushroom pizza and mashed potatoes, Mark.

71
 HENRY
Tonight we toast the American Dream. See, Mark, Julie, when you believe,
anything is possible. One day I’m a peasant, the next a research chemist and a
landlord. Landlord, God thank you for watching over me, I love how that
sounds. Sounds so counter-revolutionary.

ALICE
Landlord.

HENRY
Never be afraid to dream 10 sizes too big.

MARK
All this time I thought we were poor.

JULIE
So did I!

HENRY
Alice donated her whole life savings. Shows Alice loves us very very much.

ALICE
Total amount my dowry small but my commitment huge.

JULIE
So very big.

MARK
Thank you, Miss Alice.

HENRY
We borrow the rest. In America, credit is the only way to get rich. Borrow
money to invest. Nothing loaned, nothing gained.

JULIE
Buying a laundromat is so backwards. Why not buy stocks and bonds?

ALICE
Salesman say laundry Chinese specialty.

JULIE
Chinese stereotype.

72
 ALICE
Agent show us very long list of very successful Chinese laundries in U.S. Now
our name belong there too.

JULIE
Dad, we need a sharp lawyer.

ALICE
Henry, what to do? Miss Julie ashamed. She against everything we do to
improve. She hate all my ideas.

HENRY
Everyone must start somewhere.

JULIE
A laundromat?

MARK
Makes sense to me.

HENRY
Julie, now it’s time for me to show appreciation for you. You now promoted to
manager of Laundromat. You are very gifted, so outgoing and popular, you act
and flirt a little to bring many customers in, and rub their dirty stains out
permanently.

JULIE
Dad, you promised me Ivy League.

HENRY
Too much education no good for proper young lady. Raises your expectations
and causes you discontentment.

JULIE
If I proved my loyalty, you promised you would help me. I did whatever you
demanded.

HENRY
Julie, you’re not thinking totally clear. People go to college to get a job, right?

JULIE
A good job. A career. An acting career.

73
 HENRY
Daddy save you a lot of grief. I’m putting you ahead of your peers with top job.
You very lucky to be your own boss. Nobody tell you your English no good. No
gun at your head. The money we earn will go to Mark’s education. Mark is
going to be a doctor. Whatever is left over you keep until you marry. Alice offer
to find you loving prince –

ALICE
Like your daddy.

MARK
I want to be a rock star and jam with Mick Jagger.

JULIE
Actors don’t get married. They have torrid affairs.

HENRY
See the thanks I get for giving them American life?

ALICE
Oh no. We are not in harmony. Off-balance. We must pray to God and ask for
his guidance and mercy.

JULIE
You should have asked us what we want.

HENRY
Parents do not ask children!

ALICE
Children do not know what is best?

MARK
Wait, what’s the second surprise?

HENRY
We’re getting a brand new house.

ALICE
This house has too many bad spirits. Spooky.

HENRY
We’ll find you larger rooms.

74
 ALICE
Bigger is better.

JULIE
I don’t want to move. We can’t be found.

MARK
We get a chance to start over.

HENRY
Exactly. God gives us a second chance to reunite as a whole family. Isn’t our
God simply wonderful?

ALICE
The Lim family. I sew back together like Humpty Dumpty.

HENRY
Your mother has something else to say to you.

MARK
Go ahead, Miss Alice.

ALICE
You sure you have good day, sir?
(MARK nods)
I in U.S. here two months. I try to be patient, Mark sir.

MARK
And you definitely are.

ALICE
Very patient, get to know you as my children. I feel now you are mine, my own
blood. I care very much for you. I pray for Mark sir to leave closet and grow up
into nice handsome man. I pray that Miss Julie smile more, act more graceful
turn into fragrant plum blossom. I like you to call me Mama.

HENRY
Alice is not being unreasonable. Nobody calls their mother by their first name.

JULIE
But you’re not my real mother. Biological mother.

75
 HENRY
A real mother cares for you the way Alice wants to.

JULIE
It’s not right.

ALICE
I really concern over you. Over everybody.
(ALICE’s hand draws an arc from chest to waist)
I help Lim family grow bigger and stronger. Mark sir, you prefer a baby brother,
or baby sister.

JULIE
Oh, dear God.

MARK
Congratulations, Miss Alice.

HENRY
We move to start over like brand new. Our family history is nobody’s business.
Nobody’s business I tell you.

ALICE
Why re-live unpleasant memories?

HENRY
The Lim family secret. Mark, what do you say?

MARK
I don’t know.

HENRY
Family matters private. For your own protection and redemption, Alice is your
mother.

JULIE
Divorce is nothing to be ashamed of any more.

ALICE
If I may ask, Mark sir, Miss Julie, please think of our new family first. Harmony
in family key ingredient to health, happiness, and prosperity. Everyone do own
thing dangerous.

76
 MARK
(To JULIE)
Mom left us. We never hear from her, obviously we mean nothing to her. How
can we be loyal to a ghost we never see or hear from?

JULIE
She’s the ghost!

HENRY
Julie!

JULIE
I’m sorry, Alice. You’re terrific. You seem to make my father very happy, but
I’m too old to reinvent new fairy tales. Besides you look much too young to
have me as your daughter.

ALICE
Yes of course --

JULIE
You don’t want to give away your age to everyone, do you?

ALICE
I agree.

JULIE
You understand?

ALICE
Yes, you too big.

JULIE
Oh not that again.

ALICE
Too big, too damaged. Me not want to hurt you like your mother. Alice never
ever do such a thing. Alice, good person. I come all the way from China just for
Lim family. Travel the world for you, Miss Julie.

JULIE
How about Aunt Alice?

MARK
I don’t want people thinking she’s our aunt. We’ve got enough troubles.

77
 HENRY
Mama. Practice.

MARK
Ma.
(Can’t say second syllable.)
I like Ma. To start.

ALICE
Thank you, Mark sir.

HENRY
I’m very proud of you, son.

JULIE
Thanks, Mark sir, for leaving me out on a limb.

HENRY
Julie, calling Alice Mama good practice for your acting career.

JULIE
I can’t say it yet.

ALICE
Miss Julie want to be on TV. Julie, you too funny!

JULIE
No one’s laughing.

ALICE
Come, Miss Julie, your new Mama help you act. I make life easy for you. Alice
take over housework. I help find rich handsome man to marry you and give you
own house. What you say? Miss Alice free you to become more charming
teenager. Act more normal, make new friends, enjoy new hobbies.

HENRY
What do you say, Julie? Alice is so generous.

JULIE
That’s so thoughtful of you, but unnecessary. I like to do things the hard way.

ALICE
You make me very happy to be in Lim family. Today you give me great honor.

78
 MARK
You’re here permanently? Promise?

ALICE
I stay forever.

MARK
I don’t understand why you’re so grateful to be one of us. Thank you.

ALICE
We settle in great new home we all like. Alice promise to please, to make
happiness, to grow, to love, to nurture. Alice will do whatever Alice must to do
preserve family.

MARK
Listen to that, Julie. I’m so flattered. I want to start over.

HENRY
At last we have much to give thanks. No more the way we were. Now we will
become one bigger and happier family. We will have much luck in real estate
and become very rich from the laundry business. I feel very lucky.

MARK
I feel safe.

ALICE
Amen. Let us say prayer to the Lord.

MARK
It feels wonderful to believe again. Once upon a time there was a nice Chinese
American family and they all lived happily ever after.

(EVERYONE EXCEPT JULIE lowers their head and closes their eyes in
prayer. Lights change, reflecting many colors, representing the rippled
stained glass in a church and organ music plays.)

ALICE
Oh Lord Jesus, thank you giving me such a loving family. I feel so very blessed.
Please supply us with one healthy baby and plenty dirty laundry to clean. Amen.

HENRY
Amen.

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 ALICE
Amen.

JULIE
Oh God. Forever and ever? You like Ohio that much? What about snow?

ALICE
But of course forever. U.S. is so very beautiful. God’s favorite.

(“America” resumes as we FADE OUT.)

80
 ACT II

SCENE 3

SETTING: Lim house, late June evening.

AT RISE: JULIE comes in late, tiptoeing. HENRY is in his

chair, waiting.

HENRY
You missed dinner.

JULIE
I ate.

HENRY
And Bible Study.

JULIE
Don’t tell me you missed me.

HERY
Where have you been?

JULIE
At the Laundromat.

HENRY
This late?

JULIE
Distributed a lot of flyers, spreading the gospel. Cleanliness, the wave of the
future. Ancient Chinese secret. You told me to advertise, bring in more
customers.

HENRY
You’ve missed dinner every night this week.

JULIE
I’m just obeying her orders.

HENRY
Alice pregnant, need your help more than before.

81
 JULIE
Alice told me in several languages to stay away.

HENRY
Hormones.

JULIE
No. Ask her when she’s not wearing any make-up.

HENRY
Alice wants to save you.

JULIE
“Alice never expect you so big, so damaged.” It’s too late, Dad.

HENRY
Nonsense. Her English not as toasty as her heart.

JULIE
Or her body.

HENRY
Julie!

JULIE
You used to hold me tight like a teddy bear when you thought I was asleep. Is
that the only time you loved me?

HENRY
I never took unfair advantage. How dare you accuse Daddy. Through his tender
mercy, God has forgiven me. Who are you to judge me?

JULIE
Did you tell Alice you only love me when weak?

HENRY
Without Daddy, you’d be nothing. Nothing I tell you.

JULIE
Then I’m nothing.

HENRY
Mark accepts God’s love as supreme. See how God gives Mark inner peace.
Give your pain unto the Lord and he will grant eternal salvation.

82
 JULIE
Mark asks every girl he likes to marry him. You think that’s normal?

HENRY
Give your pain unto the Lord and he will grant eternal salvation.

JULIE
Where are you, God, when darkness stalks me like a hungry predator waiting for
a kill?

HENRY
God comes in many shapes and sizes. God can make sense of pain even when
you can’t.

JULIE
A teddy bear you clutch but can’t kiss or hug you back. A stuffed animal with no
heart.

HENRY
Sixteen years at rubber company, no major promotion. But now Daddy know
department head position meaningless. God’s word most important. One day I
will be rewarded handsomely like Job.

JULIE
Job was a pawn who suffered unjustly.

HENRY
If your mother and I had gone to church before, your mother and I would still be
married. God does not permit divorce.

JULIE
Is that why you want to pretend Mom never happened?

HENRY
Not easy for me either, Julie. Daddy older, suffer more, much more than you
and Mark put together. But God is amazing. He can save you. Let me save
you, Julie.

JULIE
No. God took everything else. I want my pain even if it kills me because it’s
mine. All mine.

83
 HENRY
You will not bring more shame onto this family. Tonight we prepare testimony
for next church meeting. You will beg God for his forgiveness.

(ALICE ENTERS)

ALICE
No good, Henry. No good.

JULIE
I’m sorry if I upset you, Alice, I thought I was helping by being absent.

HENRY
Julie need more time to understand God. That’s all.

ALICE
It’s no use, Henry. She know, I know.

HENRY
Patience, Alice.

ALICE
I want my baby to have rosy dimples.

JULIE
And I plan to be away at college soon. Dad, you promised.

ALICE
Tell her, Henry.

HENRY
Alice need your help so you go to community college.

JULIE
Community college? You want me to turn down Harvard? Columbia. Stanford.
To rot in Acorn, Ohio?

HENRY
One year, two years, then transfer?

JULIE
I want to go away.

84
 ALICE
Yes.

HENRY
One year very short time, Julie.

ALICE
I told you, Henry, our life too boring for Miss Julie. Big girl needs big city big life.

HENRY
We talk it over tomorrow?

ALICE
No, Julie deserve complete story, only fair, help her make her final decision.

JULIE
Final decision? Am I being knocked down?

HENRY
If you choose to reject God and this family, you must leave. I promise Alice
everybody Christian now.

ALICE
Give up. Your mother lives in Australia.

JULIE
What?

HENRY
We hired private investigator. Your mother remarried. Round eyes.

ALICE
Show her.

(ALICE hands HENRY who hands JULIE an envelope with clipping and
photograph.)

JULIE
“Renown landscape painter Leslie Hawke married Daisy Lim yesterday outside
the Sydney Opera House.” Blond like Robert Redford.

HENRY
You still want to visit? You prefer the adultress over me?

85
 JULIE
Whatever happened, or didn’t happen, she’s still my Mom.

ALICE
See Henry? After all you’ve done, she still want to run to her. She don’t
appreciate you.

HENRY
You think about our offer on the table.

JULIE
What offer? To leave, or else?

HENRY
(To ALICE)
You happy now?

ALICE
Alice very proud of you, Henry. Truth most important path to Heaven.

HENRY
What kind of man allows himself to be called Leslie? Leslie. (Beat) Alice, I need
to rest, lie down, suddenly I don’t feel so well.

(HENRY EXITS)

ALICE
Miss Julie, Alice only want peace. Alice strongly suggest you make peace. If you
cannot find harmony here, Alice urge you to seek elsewhere.

JULIE
I heard you, Alice. Loud and clear. It’s just us, you can drop the me speakee no
good English crap.

ALICE
Alice care so much about your future she convince Daddy to find your mother. I
do this for you.

JULIE
Gee, thanks.

ALICE
Alice wants what’s best for both of us. For you.
(ALICE hands JULIE an envelope of money.)

86
 JULIE
Wow, you must really hate me.

ALICE
Alice always pray God enter Miss Julie into the kingdom of heaven soon.

JULIE
(Shocked)
Jesus, Alice. Did you just say you wish I were dead?

ALICE
Miss Julie, don’t be silly, my English no –

JULIE
Answer me in Chinese then. Do you wish me dead? Just because I can’t call
you Mom? Because I can’t believe in your God?

ALICE
Miss Julie, please.

JULIE
(You’re not my Mother in Mandarin)
Ni bu shih wo de Ma Ma. Is that so hard to swallow?

ALICE
(Trembling)
Look, your Daddy right. You tired, me tired, no good to discuss your future now.
Later.

(ALICE EXITS.)

JULIE
Good night, future. Sweet dreams, future, wherever you are. Above, or down
under.

(FADE OUT. Aerosmith’s “Dream On” plays.)

87
 ACT II

SCENE 4

SETTING: NEW house, living room, late afternoon,

September. Or old house with several packed
boxes.

AT RISE: JULIE is practicing a monologue before MARK.

JULIE
(Playing Lady MacBeth)
“Out, damn spot! Out, I say! One; two; why, then ‘tis time to do ‘t. Hell is
murky! -- Fie, my lord, fie! A soldier, and afeard? What need we fear who
knows it, when none can call our power to account? – Yet who would have
thought the old man to have had so much blood in him.”

MARK
Excellent!

JULIE
Think so?

MARK
I’d cast you.

JULIE
Sometimes I think I’m going to die from missing you.

MARK
You sure know how to say things.

JULIE
Here, I have a present for you.
(Gives MARK an Aerosmith album)

MARK
I love Aerosmith. So you still think I can make a great rock star.

JULIE
Sure, if that’s what you really want most.

MARK
I do, I can’t help it. Medical school makes me squirmy. All that blood.

88
 JULIE
Hang on tight to what you want most, Mark.

MARK
I can’t believe we’re all moving. You. Us. Alice and Dad thought for sure you
were going to Australia.

JULIE
I was certainly tempted. But trust me, it’s no fun being uninvited.

MARK
It’s too far away.

JULIE
And after you get there, then what?

MARK
Maybe someday.

JULIE
Maybe.

MARK
Can’t you stay another week?

JULIE
Mom was right about one thing. In the end, we’re all alone. Just like bird’s nest
soup. When you think there’s nothing left, just spit up. As long as you got
something inside, you know you got a chance outside.

(HENRY and ALICE ENTER)

HENRY
Alice told me you’re headed west. Is this true? Does this mean…

JULIE
I’m going to California. Where you can be all that you make-believe.

MARK
Hollywood.

JULIE
U.C.L.A.

89
 HENRY
At least we finally convinced you how awful your mother was.

JULIE
Maybe in my free time I’ll learn how to mellow out. Surf.

HENRY
Julie, is California so smart? You’re a talented manager, Julie. You can run our
laundromat any time.

JULIE
Really?

HENRY
Anytime you change your mind. Acting very difficult field.

JULIE
I know.

ALICE
Oh don’t be silly, Henry. Julie too smart to wash and dry. Let Julie chase her
California.

HENRY
How will you survive? Name five famous Chinese actors, and you have my
blessing. Fabulous five.

JULIE
Dad, you’re scaring me.

ALICE
Henry, please, don’t spoil Julie. Julie very capable woman. So very big.

HENRY
Aiya. God lives in Hollywood too. I ask him to watch over you. Protect you
from the smog.

JULIE
Thanks. We’ll stay in touch.

(JULIE and HENRY move to hug each other but ALICE interrupts and
aborts)

90
 ALICE
Henry, we have doctor appointment to catch. See you later, Mark sir?

MARK
Yeah, I’m going to stay and help Julie.

HENRY
Don’t take too long to come home to visit.

ALICE
Try to call first so Alice prepare clean house.

HENRY
Everyday we get older and older. Then one day it’s all over.

JULIE
I’ll miss you too.

ALICE
Henry, we’re late.

HENRY
Americans say time is money and yet we are always late.
(HENRY and ALICE EXIT)

MARK
Once the laundromat starts spinning huge profits, you’ll regret being poor.

JULIE
(Quoting Hemingway)
“Isn’t it pretty to think so?”

MARK
You gotta have faith. Hope springs eternal.

JULIE
Yeah? So does stupidity.

MARK
You promise to keep in touch. I mean really promise.

JULIE
I’ll miss you terribly. We’ve gone through thin and thin together. I don’t know
what I’ll do without you. You won’t let him pronounce me dead to the world, will

91
 JULIE
you? Or let her twist me into some demon? Don’t forget all about me when
you’re being big brother to the new Lim.

MARK
Is it pathetic to be best friends with your sister?

JULIE
Call me collect whenever you need to. Doesn’t matter what time it is, I’m here
for you. When I can, I’ll send airfare. Watch out for my letters. Don’t let
anyone keep us apart. And stop asking every girl to marry you. You’re not a
charity case.

MARK
I want a family someday.

JULIE
Someday, not today. Not tomorrow either.

MARK
If everyone had just one person to themselves.

JULIE
I can imagine. Wait for someone special that deserves you.

MARK
I figure I lover my chances of divorce if I marry someone I know inside and out.
And to know someone that well takes a lot of time which means I have to start
today.

JULIE
Be choosy. Don’t sacrifice yourself. You have plenty of time to discover who
you are so don’t worry if you haven’t mapped out career goals. Eat your
vegetables. Study hard. Aim high.

MARK
Yes, Mother.

JULIE
I mean it, Mark. We’re not paupers who take anything and everything in a rush.

MARK
I came prepared. I have a present for you. I could only give you half of my half
because Dad might miss it. I don’t want you to face life’s challenges alone.

92
 (MARK hands JULIE finely grated deer balls mixture.)

JULIE
Finely grated deer balls. Life time supply of testosterone. I’ll be the sexiest girl
in California.

MARK
You’ll think of me.

JULIE
Always. This is not a divorce. Will you help me pack? Whatever I can’t take,
you can have.

MARK
No kidding. Even your bicycle?

JULIE
Today is your lucky day. Please don’t hate me. I’m not abandoning you.

MARK
(with difficult)
I love you, you know. A lot.

JULIE
I love you too. I love you tremendously. Far beyond the recommended daily
allowance.

MARK
I love you more. I bet I’ll miss you even more too.

JULIE
No way. I love you much much more. That’s why I feel terribly sad. And guilty.

MARK
I can be bribed. Disneyland. Magic Mountain. Venice Beach.

JULIE
Please tell me you understand, that you’ll be okay.

MARK
You’re a bird. Birds need to vomit and fly.

JULIE
If you ever want to move in with me, once you graduate, you’re welcome.

93
 MARK
Aren’t you scared of being so far away, and alone?

JULIE
Absolutely. Terrified.

MARK
You’re forgetting about the Five Chinese Brothers.

JULIE
I can swallow the sea.

MARK
I have an iron neck.

JULIE
I can stretch and stretch and stretch.

MARK
I cannot be burned.

JULIE
I can hold my breath indefinitely.

(JULIE and MARK hold their breath as we FADE OUT as Don McLean’s
“American Pie” ends the play.)

END OF PLAY

94