Name: Emma Sketch

Date: 2020
Hour: 5th

Mentor Sentence #4

"​Eleanor was right. She never looked nice.​ ​She​ looked like art​ ​and art wasn't supposed
to look nic​e; it was supposed to make you feel something​" -Rainbow Rowell, Eleanor and Park

Writing Skills in this Sentence:

Two simple sentences.​ Start the sentence with a simile and ​create a Compound
Sentence and include a Fanboy. ​Attach another independent clause by a Semicolon.

Your original sentence from any piece of writing this week:

“As you first start the sentence, include the bites of cake most likely with specific words
pertaining to what parallel structure it is/sounds like.” (Vague Sentence Analysis).

Your revised & labeled sentence, using the same writing skills and format as the mentor
sentence:
Start the sentence with specific words. Add quotes.​ ​These ​quotes​ are like ​cake​,
bite-sized pieces​, ​and they are easy to understand;​ ​Include commentary that connects back to
your evidence and ultimately the claim.

Quick reflection:
The revision adds an impactful amount of value to the sentence. It now has a variety of
sentence structure by including simple & compound sentences while having a semicolon. It
emphasises different areas of the sentence with the simile of the bite-sized cake being the main
area.