THE EFFECTIVE HELPING PROFESSIONAL

The teacher’s job is to develop him/herself as Skilled Helper – which is a task that will involve mastering a number
of consulting and counselling skills. Teachers need to develop the interpersonal skills vital to being an effective
teacher.

Basic Things for Teachers to Keep in Mind When Learning Counselling/Helping Skills (Kottler & Kottler, 2007)

1. One cannot learn helping skills by simply reading about them – practice is important.

2. Being in a helping role is not natural – employing counselling skills means doing a number of things that are
unnatural for example, putting ones needs aside and being non-judgemental.

3. In helping one is dealing with concerns, not problems – most times personal issues have no single or even right
answer as the term “problem” might imply

4. DO NOT GIVE ADVICE – the results could turn out to be disastrous whether you are right or wrong.

5. Don’t try to do too much – remember it is the student’s issue – sometimes all you can do is help them not feel so
alone, show that you understand, and demonstrate that you support them.

6. Before you begin to help slip into a helping mode - this involves focused concentration when you decide to clear
your mind of your own stuff, resist distractions, stay non-judgemental, and commit to keeping private
communications confidential.

7. Don’t let yourself feel overwhelmed – remember this course/module is just a brief overview of the helping
profession, with the goal of helping you to merely expand your current levels of interpersonal effectiveness.

8. Be patient with yourself – As with any new skill some will feel awkward and clumsy, be realistic as to what you
can reasonably expect.

Helping Attitudes (Kottler & Kottler, 2007)

“Counselling relationships involve a lot more than mastery of expert techniques. There is a helping attitude that the
counsellor needs to adopt” (Kottler & Kottler, 2007, p. 12). The effective counsellor/skilled helper has a helping
attitude/mind-set.

A helping attitude is a state of mind that keeps one clear, focused, and receptive. It is a state in which all attention,
energy, and mindfulness is focused on helping another person to find peace.

It means being non-judgemental and caring as well as demonstrating authenticity, genuineness, compassion and
respect.

Practice helping mind-set by:

• Taking a deep cleansing breath as you gently push aside all distractions and competing thoughts.
• Focus completely on the other person as you give him/her your full attention. Gently push aside intrusive
thoughts each time your attention wanders.
• Stop yourself from making judgements by staying as neutral and accepting as you can. Remember that even
if you don’t approve of the person’s behaviour you ca still accept him/her as a person.
• Access your compassion and empathy by opening your heart in such a way that you can feel and
communicate your deep concern and caring.

The helping attitude is related to the personality and background of the counsellor.

The counsellor and the counselling process have dynamic effects on others, if not beneficial then more likely
harmful. Thus the effectiveness of a counselling relationship depends on numerous variables including the
personality and background of the counsellor/helping professional.

Personal Qualities of an Effective Counsellor (Gladding, 2009)

Counsellors should possess personal qualities of maturity, empathy, and warmth. They should be altruistic in spirit
and not easily upset or frustrated. The following qualities are also essential *curiosity and inquisitiveness *ability to
listen * comfort with conversation *understanding *emotional insightfulness *introspection *capacity for self-denial
*tolerance for intimacy *comfort with power *ability to laugh *intellectual competence *energy *flexibility *
support *goodwill * self-awareness
Personal Characteristics of an Effective Counsellor (Gladding, 2009)

• Stability
• Harmony
• Constancy
• Purposefulness
• Sensitive to themselves and others - growing as persons and helping others do the same
• Monitor their own biases – listen, ask for clarification, explore differences in an open positive way
• Spontaneous and creative
• Helpful if life is tempered by multiple life experiences e.g. wounded healer
• Achieve a balance of interpersonal and technical competence
• The more aligned counsellors’ personalities are to their environments, the more effective and satisfied they
will be

Maintaining Effectiveness as a Counsellor (Gladding, 2009)

Counsellors like anyone else must deal with various life situations. How they handle these life events is critical.
They can effectively deal with their situations by – finding meaning in potentially problematic areas, remaining
objective, accepting and confronting situations, asserting their own wishes, participating in wellness lifestyle, and
grieving.

It is helpful for counsellors to have healthy personal lives and learn from both their mistakes and successes so as to
grow therapeutically and be able to concentrate fully and sensitively on clients’ problems.

To avoid burnout which is the single most common personal consequence of working as a counsellor, they should
develop healthy lifestyles within and outside of the profession and avoid taking work home. They should also:

• Associate with healthy individuals

• Work with committed colleagues and organizations that have a sense of mission
• Be reasonably committed to a theory of counselling
• Use stress reduction exercises
• Modify environmental stressors
• Engage in self-assessment
• Periodically examine and clarify counselling roles, expectations, and beliefs
• Obtain personal therapy
• Set aside free and private time
• Maintain an attitude of detached concern when working with clients
• Retain an attitude of hope

“Effective counsellors must be emotionally mature, stable, and objective. They must have self-awareness and be
secure in that awareness, incorporating their own strengths and weaknesses realistically” (Gladding,2009, p. 34)

Negative Motivators for Becoming a Counsellor (Gladding, 2009)

• Emotional distress
• Vicarious coping
• Loneliness and isolation
• A desire for power
• A need for love
• Vicarious rebellion

Counsellors/Skilled helpers should always assess themselves in regard to who they are and what they are doing.

References

Kottler, J. A. & Kottler, E.I. (2006). Counseling skills for teachers. (2nd ed.). Thousand Oaks, CA: Corwin Press

Gladding, S. T. (2009). Counseling: A comprehensive profession. (6th ed.). Upper Saddle River, NJ: Merrill Prentice
Hall

Prepared by: Keshawna Salmon-Ferguson 2010-09-13