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WRITING MY DRAFT IN CLASS
NAME:Maria Camila Álvarez CODE: 190748 GROUP 5

 Write complete paragraphs

 Use different colors for each component of the essay (you may color code text matching with the conventions on p.2)
 Do not exceed the word limit 90 - 100 words each paragraph (write only on p.1)
 Use appropriate connectors and punctuation
 Use complex grammar and B2-C1 related vocabulary

Education is a fundamental part for the correct development of children and adolescents, however when this
teaching is very strict, it can generate tricky people. The problem that concerns people subjected to this type of
education, is that they will always generate negative consequences in their personality. According to several
Introduction studies, it is said that 60% of parents who educate their children in a too strict way, experienced in flesh this type
of upbringing, because their parents also educated them this way. Having this in mind, this essay seeks to
analyze the effects of strict rearing on childs as this may cause, the aggressive behaviors and crumbling self-
esteem/low confidence of the childhood.

The first consequence of strict upbringing is aggressive behavior that occurs in young people. The pressure of
parents at an early age, indirectly transmits the frustration of the child, and therefore will reflect this feeling in
an incorrect way, either by harassing other children or fighting with other children in schools, clubs, etc. One
solution to this problem is that youth rehabilitation programs can make both parents and youth aware that this
Body Paragraph 1 type of behavior is criminalized in prison and can stop these children from committing future crimes. This would
bring both parents and children into prison to interact with the inmates and see that this is not the life they want
to have. For all the above , the best solution is to raise awareness on both sides so that first, the children's
behavior improves, and second, that the parents are a little more gentle with them.

The second negative consequence is the crumbling of the self-steem in childs. It is known, that kids
that have authoritarian parents have a higher risk to be involved in attitudes that damage their self
steem, because they cause anxiety, depression, and even suicidal thoughts.
Body Paragraph 2 The smartest solution for this is for both psychologists and parents to come together to do an
evaluation, diagnosis and treatment for the youngsters. What would be done in this case is that, in
the first instance a test would be done to the child, then a professional would determine which
dimension of his self-esteem is being affected, and its respective consequences, and therefore would
determine both the child and the person responsible for him, their respective treatment that would
evoke from individual to collective activities. The above will definitely make the child to gradually
build their self-esteem much more solid, plus it will be a perfect opportunity for parents and children
to share

Considering everything, too strict education in children generates reactions that are not at all
positive, first we have aggressive attitudes, and on the other hand the destruction of self-esteem. This
worrying tendency can be stopped by youth rehabilitation programs and treatments given by
Conclusion professionals By doing so, Children's behaviors, such as coolness of parents, will disappear, and there
will be a good bond between parents and children

References:
Cordoba (2014). Breeding styles linked to behaviors problems of girls, boys and adolescents. Retrieved from
http://lildbi.fcm.unc.edu.ar/lildbi/tesis/cordoba_julia.pdf
Roldán.(2019).Parents too strict. Consequences for the child. Retrieved from
https://www.guiainfantil.com/articulos/educacion/limites/padres-demasiado-estrictos-consecuencias-
para-el-nino/
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CONVENTIONS (color coding)

1. INTRODUCTION
Hook
issue
background
Thesis Statement

2. BODY PRAGRAPH 1
Subproblem
Supporting evidence
Example
Solution
Resulting sentence

3. BODY PRAGRAPH 2
Subproblem
Supporting evidence
Example
Solution
Resulting sentence

4.CONCLUDING SENTENCE
Thesis restatement
Summary of solution
Summary of solvers
Resulting overall statement