Assignment

“Writing Negative Messages”

Usair Arshad L1F17BSAF0071 SR#22

M Hannan Siddiqui L1F17BSAF0067 SR#17

Zaeem Asif L1F17BSAF0062 SR#13

Question 11.16

From M.Juhaz Travel Meeting Services

Dear Traveling Executives

To: [mailing list]

Subject: Travel budget plans

Paragraph 1

Weakness:

In this paragraph the writer is using some negative words in the email. Which show the
pressures which the upper manager putting on the employees. It includes information
about a separate memorandum that should be mentioned there. He also orders the
employees to use the videoconferences and web for communication during meeting so
they can save the traveling expenses and also use cheaper flight for travel.

Strengths:

In this paragraph the writer uses direct approach so the writer can easily explain his
view about the future. And explain additional information.

Paragraph 2:

Weakness:

In this paragraph the writer provides additional information about the plan they are going
to apply in the company. And, Oder the employees of the upper not to use high
expenses hotel. Try to live in the cheaper hotel.

Strengths:

In the paragraph also use the direct approach so the reader can understand what are
the changes which the company are trying to adopt.
Paragraph 3

Weakness:

In the last paragraph the writer use you approach. Like if the hotel does not offer free
wireless go somewhere else. And never return a rental car with an empty tank. And, the
writer is demanding and unsuggested. And the writer does not care how the reader will
react.

Revise.

The writer should use simple words instead of more demanding words. The write in the
first paragraph should try to explain what reason the company are why is taking some
difficult steps so the company can overcome this difficulties and also the employees feel
what the owners is feeling right now. And in the end the writer can use positive word to
show that the owner has full confident in their employees that they will overcome this
difficult time.

Question 11-17

Paragraph 1

Weakness:

The weakness in the paragraph is that the writer some inappropriate words like their
application reached us later and directly refusing is unethical. The write have to write
thank you for the request and appreciate the fact that the one making the request had
enough confidence in you to ask you for your assistance.

Paragraph 2

Weakness

In the paragraph the writer does not use professional tone he directly refuses the
proposal by telling that it was a mismatch and your team has failed to establish
business synergies. A letter refusing an offer of sponsorship can be brief and to the
point with no need for excess information, there is no need for such letters to take an
excessively emotional or even friendly tone.

Strengths:

The main strength of this paragraph is that the writer ending a letter by giving honest
reasons for refusing.

Revise:

The writer have to refusing a request politely which can strengthen your resolve and
may open up opportunities for others to step up and do their part. The letter should be
polite and apologetic. The writer must use simple words like “Thank you for inviting us
for sponsorship but unfortunately with great regret we inform you that we will not be able
to help this year as we have already reached our limits for this year. Thank you for your
kind understanding on our decline. We Look forward to opportunities for future
collaborations”.

Question 11-18

Paragraph 1

Weakness :

In this paragraph the weakness is that the writer address the reader on direct approach
and address personally which were not appropriate in business communication,
secondly if a company did not have space for new interns then refuse letter on positive
note. Do not tell the candidate that they did not even consider the his application
because it came in after others this is insulting by letting them know.

Strenghts:

In the paragraph the strengths is that the writer write the letter on a respectful way and
did not show any disrespect, and tell all the truth about the internship program
Paragraph 2

Strengths:

The strengths in the paragraph is that the writer tries to assure the reader that they are
confident that the reader will find a suitable position without even reading the resume.
And ending the letter with wishing the reader the best of luck is the main strength of this
paragraph

Revise:

In this whole letter there is no need to telling the applicant the reason why they not
accepted their application. Just wite the letter simply that they do not have space to hire
new interns so they would not be able to hire new interns.