Strengths of a Phlegmatic Wife

1. Afua Phlegmatic is comforting––doesn’t draw attention to herself but draws hurting people to
herself. This is because hurting people sense that they have found a safe listening ear. Even total
strangers tend to open up to the phlegmatic woman telling her about their problems and being
comforted by her.

2. Actually feels the pain of others.

3. She’ll call you just to see if everything is okay.

4. Sympathetic listener with genuine concern for others.

5. Is able to listen to people’s woes for hours on end without trying to fix you or interrupt your story.

6. Takes sincere delight in ministering to people’s heartfelt needs.

7. Thoughtful––she thinks about others and what their needs may be and tries to help.

8. Attentive––loves sending notes and cards.

9. Loyal––a very loyal friend; once she’s yours, she’s yours for keeps. Steadfastly maintains deep,
abiding relationships with a small circle of childhood friends.

10. May grow discouraged feeling that others don’t reciprocate in friendship.

11. Peacemaker––rarely gets bogged down with inter-personal conflict. She thrives on harmony and
will do whatever she can to maintain it.

12. Is quick to adjust to people around her and never insists on having things her way. It is her sincere
desire to please others.

13. Has a wonderful ability to see every side of an issue and to help others see the other person’s view.

14. Her mediation skills are valuable in the church and on the job as well as in her neighbourhood.

15. Dependable––she will be there even in rough times.

16. Protective––over her children and family.

17. Takes time for the children––may have a large family.

18. Patient––not easily angered; willing to go with the flow and doesn’t insist that things go her way.
19. Faithful––has an exceptional ability to absorb emotional pain and still maintain her commitment
to another person. She would stick with a difficult marriage long after most women would have given
up. But when she makes up her mind that it is over, it’s really over.

20. Devoted caregiver––she is willing to set aside her own needs to meet the needs of others.
Phlegmatics are usually counsellors, teachers, nurses etc. They usually lead Bible studies or women’s
ministries.

Weaknesses of a Phlegmatic Wife

1. Unenthusiastic––doesn’t get overexcited over achievement and exploits. Her goal is to conserve
her limited supply of energy. This lack of enthusiasm can cause significant conflict in her relationships
with family and friends who may interpret it as a lack of love, admiration, concern, interest and can
actually result in emotional damage to her loved ones.

2. Uninvolved––they can hide behind motherhood and use it as justification for noninvolvement.

3. Fearful––she is fearful and is plagued by “what ifs”. She can actually be paralyzed by fears and
insecurities and this can mar her relationships.

4. Sluggish––she is not very big on work! She often looks for the barest minimum she can do and still
get on. Her house can be disorganized but perhaps not to the extent of that of the sanguine.
Phlegmatics can be addicted to TV and their sluggish lifestyle can lead to excessive weight gain.

5. Compromising––she’s a follower by nature and may compromise her standards to suit whoever she
spends the most time with. Because of this, she can fall among bad company.

6. Avoids confrontation––she can make it easy for others to behave irresponsibly around her because
she may condone certain behaviour just to please or to avoid confrontation. She has to learn to firmly
and lovingly back away and allow people to reap the logical consequences of their choices.

7. Stubborn––She does not complain or argue but may quietly and unwaveringly stick to her guns,
while the other temperaments go berserk over her refusal to co-operate.

8. She turns her attention to her children, if there are problems with her husband.

9. She is afraid of embarrassment, exposure and conflict. Therefore, she does not easily say unsavoury
things about her marriage.

10. She is self-righteous, and often not spiritually keen. She is not keen on anything.

11. She is selfish:

• She cares for, protects and keeps to herself.

• This is a manifestation of a selfish life of concern about herself.

• She can cause people around her to resent her for being inward or selfish.

12. She is unconcerned about her dressing.

13. She can be disorganized at home and neglect housecleaning:

• She is slothful.

• She is disorderly because she likes to have everything within easy reach.

14. She may find her active partner mean because he drags her to places with lots of activity and
people when she just wants rest.

15. She needs a sense of worth. Phlegmatics feel inferior and unloved when there is constant criticism.

• She may easily assume guilt for all the problems in the marriage.

• She finds it hard to love someone whose main interest is making sure she is the one who is wrong.
Phlegmatics wilt under criticism.

16. She may live in continual hurt, pain and confusion because phlegmatics like to avoid conflict.

17. She is difficult to arouse sexually:

• She rarely initiates sex on her own.

• She is passive, cadaveric.

• She does not introduce variety and needs to learn to be interested and exciting about sex.

18. She does not communicate the truth about her feelings:

• She can live a life of deception.

• She tries to get others to address her problems.

19. She can become passive in her marriage as time goes on.

20. She struggles with decision-making and as such feels unsure of herself underneath the surface.

• Since phlegmatics hardly share their true feelings, she usually will not confront issues head on.

• She will often use subtle sarcasm and criticism to hurt her partner, sometimes in front of people.
21. She lacks motivation, loves procrastinating, and is prone to forget dates and appointments.

22. She is usually slower to stand up for herself and others, and is often slow to anger.

23. She waits for crisis before she acts, because she always hopes someone else will solve the situation
or that it will all go away by itself.