RULING AT FIRST SIGHT

HOST
Welcome to Ruling at First Sight, the show where we combine want to be politicians with
their matches made in heaven – countries just waiting to be ruled!
Let’s meet our two want to be politicians!
All the way from Texas, it’s the wonderful Cathleen Jones!
CATHLEEN
Howdy par’ner! I’m pumped to meet y’all!
HOST
Nice to meet you too, Cathleen! Next up, from Ohio…
Tonald Drump!
TONALD
Howdy par’ner! I’m pumped to meet y’all!
HOST
[beat].. uhh.. Alright!
Now, it is time for you two to get paired up with the countries you will be kindly looking
after for the next… four years!
TONALD
Hang on, I just signed up as a joke! I don’t want to look after a country!
*HOST begins laughing very loud for 15 seconds, before abruptly stopping and continuing*
HOST
So, let us begin! You two take a seat while we meet our countries!
First up, all the way from Italy, it’s… the Vatican City!
VATICAN
Ciao amico! Sono entusiasta di conoscerti!
HOST
Wow! Really stretching my brain today! What does that mean?

VATICAN
It roughly translates to… Howdy par’ner! I’m pumped to meet y’all!
HOST
 (beat)… oh.
Um, well it’s great to have you on the show!
Next up… all the way from Morocco… its Morocco!
MOROCCO
Howd-
HOST
Yeah, just don’t.
So, are you two excited to get paired up with a random leader you’ve never met before?
VAITCAN
(pause) Yes?
HOST
Fantastic!
TONALD and CATHLEEN stand to the left of the stage while VAITCAN and MOROCCO
stand to the right, both separated by a curtain with HOST standing in the middle.
HOST
Our politicians and countries are ready to be matched up!
Now, you may be wondering… how did we decide who to match up?
Well, we contacted the greatest political experts in the country, and they threw a dart to
decide!
So, lets introduce Tonald to his match!
Tonald, what are you looking for in a country?
TONALD
Citizens who can be easily exploited more than anything else!
HOST
And, Morocco, what are you looking for in a leader?
MOROCCO
Someone Moroccan, preferably.
HOST
Well, too bad!
Its time to DROP. THE. CURTIAN.
Morocco and Tonald, have a look at eachother!
 TONALD and MOROCCO (in sync)
What? No! I don’t want this!
HOST
Well! Too bad!
We’re going to see you at our commitment ceremony in four years!
TONALD and MOROCCO walk off
HOST
After that delightful first meeting, lets introduce our next two couples.
CATHLEEN
You know, I don’t really want to do this anymore…
HOST
Welp, you signed your life away, so you don’t have a choice!
DROP! THE! CURTIAN!
Cathleen and Vatican, have a look at eachother!
VATICAN
Hey!
CATHLEEN drops to her knees
CATHLEEN
No! No! Not the Vatican!
CATHLEEN begins to sob
Anything but the Vatican! Please! I’m begging!
*TONALD and MOROCCO begin to loudly clap from off. HOST and VATICAN also begin to
loudly clap, drowning out CATHLEEN*
Please no! Noooo!
The lights go off
CATHLEEN
What a strange dream! Time for the debate, I guess
The message of this script relates to the imbalance of politics and political views. This scene
takes place inside the mind of the character of Cathleen, and it helps to portray a lot of
biases that she has in her mind – as well as a lot of irony when it comes to a politician’s
viewpoint. For example, one of the major lines repeated in this play is the quote ‘Howdy
par’ner! I’m pumped to meet y’all!’ While this quote does fall in line with something that
Cathleen would say, it is not something that Morocco, the Vatican or Tonald would say. This
helps to show the audience that the character of Cathleen is narcissistic – viewing all other
politicians and people as very similar to herself. The second point to portray the message of
the performance is the nature of the script. For example, the line by Morocco of ‘Someone
Moroccan, preferably’. This shows that, in the mind of Cathleen, it doesn’t matter what the
people of a specific country want. In conclusion, this script helps to reinforce the idea of the
imbalance of politics and the imbalance of political views.