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Module 6: Final Reflections

Brian Koster

Organizational Leadership, Arizona State University

OGL 340 Topic: The Aikido Way to Conflict Transformation

Bill Erwin

Due: June 24, 2021

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Directions

Teaching the principles of a martial art and Conflict Transformation skills on line is a challenge.
I'd like to receive some constructive feedback on what worked well and what didn't work. What
have you learned that will be valuable. I hope by now you understand I believe accurate
information, "positive or negative," is valuable. I'd like to take your ideas and suggestions and
improve the course. Complete the following Prompts and provide your honest responses to each
Module in the course. (NOTE: I hope you also respond to the ASU course evaluation so you give
the university your thoughts on the course and instructor, good or bad.)

Prompt #1: In Module 1, you watched "Invictus," a clip from the movie "Gandhi," and a 60
Minute Segment on Mindfulness. The idea was to have you look at attitude and a mental model
about conflict, review the attitudes of two powerful leaders, and consider your own approach to
conflict. Did this Module help set a foundation upon which to develop the rest of the course?
What worked and didn't work?

Prompt #2: In Module 2, you were introduced to the martial art, Aikido. The purpose of this
module was to use a martial art that deals with "physical conflict" in a different way, a way that
provided a metaphor for how to deal with conflict in the workplace. What did you take away
from this Module? Did you see a connection between the principles of Aikido and the principles
of dealing professionally with workplace conflict?

Prompt #3: In Module 3, you were introduced to the first conflict transformation skill, "Spitting
Out the Hook." Did you learn the skill? Will it help you deal with conflict? Was this quiz (and
were the quizzes} fair, too hard, or too easy? Did the quizzes help you gain more from the text?

Prompt #4: In Module 4, you were introduced to the second conflict transformation skill,
"H.E.A.R." Did you learn the skill? Will it help you deal with conflict? Some of you already
use an active listening skill; was learning H.E.A.R. too redundant or was it valuable to review?

Prompt #5: In Module 5, you were introduced to the third conflict transformation skill, "BURN
CLEAN." Did you learn the skill? Will it help you deal with conflict? Will it help you express
your "wants" without throwing out hooks?

Prompt #6: In Module 6, you were introduced to the fourth conflict transformation skill, "SAY
YES." Did you learn the steps in this skill? Will you be able to use it to help you transform
conflict? How confident do you feel about using the SAY YES Model?

Prompt #7: Is there something you wish you had learned or some topic we needed to spend more
or less time on? Add any final thoughts you think would be helpful in improving this course.
Overall, was the workload fair and manageable, light or too much?
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Response

Prompt #1

I am to believe the intention of mindfulness was a precursor to the effects of centering

and concentrating on the present moment. Although a bit extreme, I feel one doesn’t need to have

the full effects of mindfulness as is the case of meditating while typing on a keyboard. Being

aware of one’s actions is what I believe the segment was trying to focus upon. When we separate

ourselves from our busy lives and focus or clear our thoughts, that’s when we start to appreciate

those moments that happen in front of us. Just like eating a strawberry. How do we eat it? Do we

gobble it or slowly taste it? Is there a speed at which we can control our action of eating the

strawberry? Can you feel it’s hairs on your fingers? Is it sweet or sour? Watery or dry? These are

the questions that prime us for exploration.

“Invictus” was enjoyable. I will say that the premise was just a slice of what Mandela was

doing as president. I am sure that there are other chances he took to convince people to go the

path of forgiveness. The main concept I got was to never give up on doing what you believe is

right. In the case of “Gandhi,” I believe that was an example of forgiveness through repenting.

Prompt #2

What I took out of this module was to utilize the concepts of Aikido in a work

environment. At the time, I did not know what that meant. When you told the story of the drunk

man on the train, that was a great metaphor for the concepts of Aikido in two different yet similar

forms. One was approaching to a possible physical confrontation to subdue the person to prevent

further uncomfortable situations, the other was inviting through the use of words to understand
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the person and preventing others feeling uncomfortable. When applying Aikido in the workplace,

I can now say that it is about understanding the other person’s view and questioning them about

their feelings towards the event.

Prompt #3

“Spitting Out the Hook” sounds like an odd metaphor. And it works. I did not get hooked

into an argument. The hard part would be to utilize this concept in an unannounced setting.

Giving the heads-up to a partner is far different than calmly being at work to suddenly get

bombarded by a co-worker about an assignment. The only thing I see that’s missing, besides this

practice, is the real-life situation. This skill I can definitely see as useful.

I don’t know if it was me, but I believe I did very well in the quizzes. I prefer to plan and

takes plenty of notes prior to any quizzes. It is an interesting question to consider: open book or

close? To really test a person’s knowledge would be to offer 20-30 minutes as opposed to 60. In

the real world, would one fail by verifying company policy before sending out a document

relating to it?

I also have a bit of experience with a different field, yet very similar. During the past year

I have been listening to Esther Perel’s podcast entitled, “How’s Work?” (Perel, 2020). She takes

the context of relationships and transposes that into how they relate in a work environment. Prior

to that, I have been reading books by Sheryl Glass, Stan Tatkin, Daniel Kahneman, John

Gottman, Malcolm Gladwell, and Guy Winch. These are people who are into psychology and

behavioral economics that look at the fundamentals of how the brain reacts to certain stimuli and

how we can change it with better outcomes. What I enjoyed the most about this course was
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relating these aspects I have read to a work environment.

Prompt #4

“H.E.A.R.” was another easy thing as, to me, it relates to customer service. I have spent

many years in that field. Gaining this added insight of listening and replying was helpful. It was

worth noting that I found myself leaning forward whenever I asked for more information. I guess

I could compare this reflex to “welcoming” the information by actively listening. Because of this,

I can say that whenever I need to utilize my listening to notice if I’m leaning forward. And yes, I

will be going back to the “H.E.A.R.” model as it will help me deal with conflict.

Prompt #5

This was the most difficult of the models. The premise was there, but putting the words

down was the most difficult part. I wanted to say my thoughts without pointing fingers (you) or

sounding selfish. Even when the outcome of BURN CLEAN (I feel it needs a different name) is

to relay one’s wants, what was spoken out in my exercise with my sister was not perfect. She

provided feedback to which I cannot remember, but I feel a real-world situation will be the next

big test. I have dealt with this kind of model before as it is similar to writing a complaint letter

that Guy Winch (2011) does in his book, “The Squeaky Wheel.”

When I throw out hooks, I get the feeling they are insults directed at the other person. In

this model, I am not suppose to do that. I display my wants, the reasons behind it, and include

some appreciation for the other person’s talents. Typically, I don’t do the insult thing. I do not

see it as making the situation better. Thus, this model is helpful to express my need for change.
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Prompt #6

The “SAY YES” model will be a tough one to remember. There are lots of elements

within each letter and it will take time to remember them all. Do I recommend some of them to

the clients? What if we miss something that becomes a big deal later? So, getting to “yes” will

take time. I am confident that I will be able to use this model in the future. Hopefully it never

happens, but knowing is a great first step to dealing with mediation.

What I would probably do inside a workplace is take on the role similar to that of a

psychologist. I would use the other models to figure out what the deepest levels of employee

desires are and address the need to talk to each other. I would guide them to a better

understanding of their needs, past mistakes, and future development. Hopefully I never have to

use such a complicated model. Just about every place I have worked has never needed a mediator

to address employee conflicts.

Prompt #7

I am quite satisfied with this class. I think the addition of your stories were well thought

and a nice touch. Nothing was too difficult nor too easy. I had a little trouble having my parents

get off-topic with the later exercises, specifically BURN CLEAN and SAY YES. Balancing this

class with my other while figuring out the times for discussion boards, quizzes, readings, and

papers was also a challenge. What I got out of your teaching was new and promising. I will be

referring to the Cloke (2011) book later in my leadership career. Thank you, Mr. Erwin.
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References:

Cloke, K., Goldsmith, J. (2011, third edition). Resolving Conflicts at Work, Jossey-Bass. ISBN:

978-0-470-92224-8

Perel, E. (2020). How’s Work? With Esther Perel, Esther Perel Global Media & Gimlet.

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/hows-work-with-esther-perel/id1497580407

Winch, G. (2011). The Squeaky Wheel, New York : Walker & Company. ISBN: 9780802717986