Who is the Friend?

Friends are an essential part of life, regardless of age. The people we choose to be
our friends will define us in some way or another. We need friends that can help us
grow and help us learn about ourselves. Friends are the ones that support you
during the tough times and celebrate with you during the good.
There are many Arab proverbs on friendship. One proverb, in particular, highlights
the importance and wisdom of choosing our friends wisely in this journey of life.
‫يق‬ َّ  ‫ َق ْب َل‬ ‫ِيق‬
ِ ‫الط ِر‬ ُ ‫صد‬َّ ‫ال‬
Arab Proverb
(Choose) the friend before (choosing) the road.
.
Our Friends will Influence Our Lives
The proverb, “Choose the friend before choosing the road”, means that a person
should choose their companion or friend before walking his road in life. This is
because humans are social beings by nature and we are highly influenced by those in
our social circle.
The companion or friend we choose will either make our path easy and simple to
trek or make it harsh and rough. A similar proverb to this is, “Choose the neighbour
before the home”.
Prophet Muhammad ‫ ﷺ‬had also said:
“‫ظرْ َأ َح ُد ُك ْم َمنْ ي َُخالِ ُل‬
ُ ‫ َف ْل َي ْن‬ ‫ َخلِيلِ ِه‬ ‫ِين‬ َ َّ‫ َأنَّ ال َّن ِبي‬،‫َعنْ َأ ِبي ه َُري َْر َة‬
ِ ‫ “الرَّ ُج ُل َعلَى د‬:‫صلَّى هللا َعلَ ْي ِه َو َسلَّ َم َقا َل‬
[Hasan Al-Albani-Sunan Abu Dawood 4833]
Narrated Abu Hurayrah: The Prophet (‫ )ﷺ‬said: A man follows the religion of
his friend. So, each one should consider whom he makes his friend.
.
Who is the Best Kind of Friend?
The question now is: who is the best kind of friend?
The best kind of friend is the one you spend time with to please Allah. They are just,
truthful, and trustworthy. You are pleased with them, and vice versa; both having
natural, mutual love for each other without pretence.
There is no good for the one who betrays a friend by divulging their secrets to
others. The person who betrays a friend will meet trials in their worldly affairs and
in the Hereafter.
The effects of the friends we choose to have in our company are explained by
Prophet Muhammad ‫ ﷺ‬in this hadith:
، ِ‫ ْالمِسْ ك‬ ‫ب‬ ِ ‫َقا َل َرسُو ُل هَّللا ِ صلى هللا عليه وسلم “ َم َث ُل ْال َجل‬
ِ ‫ِيس الصَّال ِِح َو ْال َجل‬
َ  ‫ِيس الس َّْو ِء َك َم َث ِل‬
ِ ‫صا ِح‬
َ ‫ َأ ْو َت ِج ُد ِر‬،ِ‫ ْالمِسْ كِ ِإمَّا َت ْش َت ِريه‬ ‫ب‬
‫يح ُه‬ ِ ‫صا ِح‬ َ ‫ الَ َيعْ َدم‬،ِ‫ِير ْال َحدَّاد‬
َ   ْ‫ُك مِن‬ ِ ‫َوك‬
.”‫ك َأ ْو َت ِج ُد ِم ْن ُه ِريحً ا َخ ِبي َث ًة‬
َ ‫ك َأ ْو َث ْو َب‬
َ ‫َوكِي ُر ْال َحدَّا ِد يُحْ ِر ُق َب َد َن‬
[Sahih Al-Bukhari 2101]
Narrated Abu Musa: Allah’s Messenger (‫ )ﷺ‬said, “The example of a
good companion (who sits with you) in comparison with a bad one, is like that of
the musk seller and the blacksmith’s bellows (or furnace); from the first
(friend) you would either buy musk or enjoy its good smell while the bellows
would either burn your clothes or your house, or you get a bad nasty smell
thereof.”
.
Seek Refuge in Allah from Evil Companions
Now that we know the value of a good friend, we can also see the danger of a bad
friend.
The Prophet ‫ ﷺ‬sought refuge in Allah from evil companions who had no good
plans or intentions. This was conveyed in the hadith reported by At Tabarani and
graded as Sahih by Shaykh Albani, may Allah have mercy on him.
،ً‫ال َي ُكونُ َعلَيَّ َع َذا َبا‬ ٍ ‫ َومِنْ َم‬،ً‫ َومِنْ َولَ ٍد َي ُكونُ َعليَّ َر ّبا‬ ،ِ‫ َومِنْ َز ْو ٍج ُت َش ِّي ُبنِي َق ْب َل المَشِ يب‬،‫ار السُّو ِء‬ ُ ‫اللَّ ُه َّم إ ِّني ّأع‬
ِ ‫ك مِنْ َج‬
َ ‫ُوذ ِب‬
‫اع َها‬َ ‫ َوِإ َذا َرَأى َس ِّيَئ ًة َأ َذ‬،‫ َو َق ْل ُب ُه َيرْ َعانِي؛ ِإنْ َرَأى َح َس َن ًة َد َف َن َها‬،‫ َماك ٍِر َع ْي ُن ُه َت َرانِي‬ ‫ َخلِي ٍْل‬  ْ‫ َومِن‬.
[Jayyid At-Tabaraani]
Oh Allah, I seek refuge in you from a bad neighbour and from a spouse that
makes me old before old age, and from a child that becomes a lord and from
wealth that becomes a punishment and from an evil companion, when he sees
good (from me) he hides it and when he sees evil, he spreads it.
May Allah guide us to choose the friends that bring us closer to the deen and protect
us from evil friends who have no good intentions for us.
.

New Words
‫ب‬
ِ ‫صا ِح‬
َ
Friend, Companion
‫خليل‬
Friend
ٌ ‫صد‬
‫ِيق‬ َ
Friend, Companion, Inside
ٌ ‫َط ِر‬
‫يق‬
Road, Route, Way
‫َق ْب َل‬
Before, Earlier, Prior to