Empathetic listening

Spears, S., & Stratton, K. A. (n.d.). Empathic listening: The heart of communication. EMPATHIC LISTENING:
The Heart of Communication. Retrieved January 19, 2022, from
https://humanresources.ku.edu/sites/humanresources.ku.edu/files/docs/EMPATHIC%20LISTENING.pdf

Empathy is deep understanding of another person.

Emphathetic listening however is that we deeply understand the person, emotionally as well as intellectually. We
have empathy when we put our self in another’s place and experience feelings as they would. Empathetic
Listening is reflecting what a person feels and says in your own words. It is not listening to advise, judge, agree,
disagree or question.

For Example: A friend does not get the job

Imagine you have a friend who has been unemployed for quite some time. She has been trying to improve her CV
by studying different courses and different skills. She is also facing financial troubles and really needs a job. She
has applied for multiple jobs for the past few months but has not been called back. Additionally, she has given
interviews but she still faces rejection. After her 20th interview, she receives another letter of rejection from the
company. Upon seeing that, she tears up the letter and screams.

Saying ‘Everything will be fine’ might aggravate the situation. A better way to handle it would be to be present in
the situation and let her channel out her frustration either verbally or physically. If she is not willing to talk, then
stay with her in silence till she is. When she decides to talk, listen to her patiently without any interruption.
After that, you may follow up with an empathic response that acknowledges her experience. You can say
statements like ‘I can see how hard you have worked over the past few months’ or ‘I can’t imagine what you must
be going through’.

Empathetic VS Sympathetic
Sympathetic listening is feeling sorry for another person while Empathetic listening is to truly understand a
situation from the speaker’s perspective and feel what they are feeling.

There are three key aspects of empathy.

1. Empathic accuracy: being able to sense what the other person is experiencing from their internal
experience

2. Empathic compassion: being able to be open to another's experience with compassion and tolerance

3. Empathic interactions: the process of interacting in an empathic manner.

 Tips of Empathetic listening

Team, I. E. (Ed.). (n.d.). Empathic listening: Definition, examples and tips. Indeed Career Guide.
Retrieved January 19, 2022, from
https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/career-development/empathic-listening

Create a safe space – Give the speaker a safe place for the discussion can make them more likely to confide in
you.

Acknowledge the speaker’s feelings - let the other party know you are considering their feelings

Pay attention to body language - The speaker may indicate discomfort with their posture and mannerisms. For
instance, if they’re tapping their feet or not sitting up straight, they may be nervous.

Let them guide the conversation -  let the speaker air their feelings at their own pace. If there are breaks in the
conversation, it is appropriate to remain in silence until the other party starts speaking again.

Wait to speaker’s - Holding your opinions until the other party asks for them demonstrates that you value their
input and respect their wishes

Be encouraging - If and when the other party asks for your input, you can encourage them by saying “I believe
you can respond to this situation” for effective encouragement, they may feel more confident in the situation and
going forward.

Helpful Phrases to Acknowledge Understanding

What I’m hearing is…

Your feeling now is that…

You must have felt…

“If I understand you correctly you…