CRAFT ALCOHOL POISONING: THE TTRPG
Derived from the very limited cocktail knowledge of one Anthony Wu
Overview
“I drink to make other people more interesting.”
-ERNEST HEMINGWAY
S UMMARY
 I recommend you play this at a craft bar – if you don’t,
you will have to buy a lot of booze, and also if you actually
approach the point of alcohol poisoning, the bartender is
one extra person who can step in to save you.
 You and your fellow players will make some great and
terrible drinks with this game. Take responsibility for all
of them.
 Don’t actually die; dying means your life is over.
T OUCHSTONES
When you are pitching this game to players, they may ask
questions like “what, why?” Here are some touchstones you
can use to help convince them.
PEER PRESSURE: This is a classic to get people to drink.
MEDIA: Angsty protagonists, characters going through mid-
life crises, seedy goons, and also dwarves in general are
always drinking. Good role models, all.
TV: It’s remarkably hard to turn on the TV and avoid alcohol
in America. The ubiquity in television programming kind of
sucks if you are in recovery or rehabilitation but is useful for
touchstones. Just look at random TV advertisements until
alcohol appears, then point and go “see, even celebrities are
drinking, and they’re doing it on the job, while acting!”
SOCIOPATHY: If you are actually using any of these
touchstones in the way I describe unironically, you are
already accustomed to getting what you want by being an
awful human being, so carry on.
T HEME S ONGS
Gin and Juice – Snoop Dogg
Cheers (Drink to That) – Rihanna
喝酒歌 – 伍思凱
THE GAME
PLAYERS: This is a game for 1 to N players, where N depends
on how much alcohol you’re willing to pay for, whether for
your home bar setting or in a craft bar setting.
WHAT ELSE YOU NEED: Outside of the booze, the tools, the
glassware, and the people, players should also have notebooks
handy, so as to record tasting notes. The referee may
periodically check for writing that has run off the page, a sure
indicator that the game might have run its course.
CHARACTER CREATION: You are the character. Congratulations.
ABILITY SCORES: There is only one score in the game, and it is
TOLERANCE, measured in Standard Drinks. Refer to the table
below to get an idea of how much alcohol a Standard Drink
entails, and then mark down your TOLERANCE score based on
past experiences. If you do not have past experiences, stop
playing this game until you have some – a prerequisite for
this game is that you know your TOLERANCE. Formally
speaking, that doesn’t mean you lost the game – it just means
you are a boring person.
One Standard Drink equals:
OF 5% ABV
12 FLUID OUNCES/341 MILLILITERS
BEER OR HARD CIDER
1.5 FLUID OUNCES/43 MILLILITERS OF 40% ABV SPIRIT
5 FLUID OUNCES/142 MILLILITERS OF 12% ABV WINE
RANDOM ENCOUNTERS: Every time a player is ready to prepare
(or order) a drink in Craft Alcohol Poisoning: the TTRPG, the
referee checks for an encounter by rolling evens on any die. In
the absence of an encounter, the referee should provide that
player with water, instead.
After an encounter is determined, the referee should then
create the order by rolling through the various encounter
tables. Encounters should be imbibed by all players, even if
the primary drinker may have the majority of the drink.
All players should then write down their tasting notes, in as
much or as little detail as they desire. Once a player has
consumed as many drinks as their TOLERANCE, they must stop
drinking.
So long as nobody gets alcohol poisoning, everyone wins.

TABLE 1. THE BUILD
ROLL 1D8 BUILD
1 Old-Fashioned build
2 Manhattan build
3 Negroni build
4 Syrup Sour build
5 Liqueur Sour build
6 Egg Drink build
7 Quartet build
8 Gimmick Build
ENCOUNTER TABLES
GLASSWARE RECIPE
To your rocks glass, add:
 Sweetener (roll on TABLE 2. SWEETENERS)
 Follow the instructions for Bitters on TABLE 3. BITTERS
Rocks glass
 2 oz. /60 ml Spirit (roll on TABLE 5. SPIRITS)
Muddle sweetener if needed, add 1 large ice cube, and stir until chilled.
 Add garnish (roll on TABLE 4. GARNISHES)
To a mixing glass, add:
 Follow the instructions for Bitters on TABLE 3. BITTERS
 ¾ oz. / 20 ml Aperitif (roll on TABLE 6. APERITIFS)
Coupe glass
 2 oz. / 60 ml Spirit (roll on TABLE 5. SPIRITS)
Stir over ice until chilled, then strain into your coupe glass.
 Add garnish (roll on TABLE 4. GARNISHES)
To a mixing glass, add:
 1 oz. / 30 ml Aperitif (roll on TABLE 6. APERITIFS)
 1 oz. / 30 ml Aperitif (roll on TABLE 6. APERITIFS)
Rocks glass
 1.25 / 35 ml Spirit (roll on TABLE 5. SPIRITS)
Stir over ice until chilled, then strain over fresh ice in your rocks glass.
 Add garnish (roll on TABLE 4. GARNISHES)
To your shaker tin, add:
 ½ oz. / 15 ml syrup (roll on TABLE 7. SYRUPS)
 ½ oz. / 15 ml acid (roll on TABLE 8. ACID)
Coupe glass
 2 oz. / 60 ml Spirit (roll on TABLE 5. SPIRITS)
Shake with ice, and then strain into your coupe glass.
 Add garnish (roll on TABLE 4. GARNISHES)
 Determine the rim of your glass (roll on TABLE 10. RIMS)
To your shaker tin, add:
 ¾ oz. / 20 ml acid (roll on TABLE 8. ACID)
Coupe glass  ¾ oz. / 20 ml liqueur (roll on TABLE 9. LIQUEUR)
 1.5 oz. / 45 ml Spirit (roll on TABLE 5. SPIRITS)
Shake with ice, and then strain into your coupe glass.
 Add garnish (roll on TABLE 4. GARNISHES)
To your shaker tin, add:
 Some component of your egg (roll on TABLE 11. EGG)
 ½ oz. / 15 ml syrup (roll on TABLE 7. SYRUPS)
 ½ oz. / 15 ml acid (roll on TABLE 8. ACID)
Large coupe glass  1.5 oz. / 45 ml Spirit (roll on TABLE 5. SPIRITS)
Shake with ice, and then strain back into your tin, so there is no ice.
Shake without ice until the drink “feels” foamy and fluffy.
Strain into your large coupe glass.
Add foam garnish (roll on TABLE 12. FOAM GARNISHES)
To your shaker tin, add:
 ¾ oz. / 20 ml acid (roll on TABLE 8. ACID)
 ¾ oz. / 20 ml modifier (roll on your choice of TABLE 6. OR TABLE 9.)
Large coupe glass  ¾ oz. / 20 ml herbal liqueur (roll on TABLE 13. HERBAL LIQUEURS)
 ¾ oz. / 20 ml Spirit (roll on TABLE 5. SPIRITS)
Shake with ice, and then strain into your coupe glass.
Add garnish (roll on TABLE 4. GARNISHES)
Undecided Roll on TABLE 14. GIMMICK BUILDS, and follow instructions there.
TABLE 2. SWEETENERS TABLE 5. SPIRITS
1D8 SWEETENER 1D20 SPIRIT
1 1 white sugar cube, muddled with bitters to make slurry 1 Grain vodka
2 2 Demerara cubes, muddled with bitters to make slurry 2 Vegetable or fruit vodka, including potato or grape vodka
3 ¼ oz. / 7 ml simple syrup 3 Brandy
4 ¼ oz. / 7 ml Demerara syrup 4 White rum
5 ¼ oz. / 7 ml honey syrup 5 Dark rum
6 1 tsp. / 5 ml agave nectar 6 Cachaça
1 tsp. / 5 ml each: 7 Spiced rum
7  strawberry syrup 8 London Dry gin
 Yellow Chartreuse
9 Genever or Holland gin
1 tsp. / 5 ml each:
 passion fruit syrup 10 Contemporary gin
8
 vanilla syrup 11 Unaged tequila
 Yellow Chartreuse 12 Aged tequila

TABLE 3. BITTERS 13 Mezcal

1D10 BITTERS 14 Bourbon

1 Do not add any bitters at all 15 Rye

2 6 dashes of Angostura bitters 16 Canadian whisky

3 3 dashes of Angostura bitters 17 Tennessee whiskey

4 3 dashes of apple bitters 18 Irish whiskey

5 2 dashes of orange bitters 19 Un-Peated Scotch whisky

6 1 drop of orange bitters 20 Peated Scotch whisky

7 2 dashes of Angostura bitters, 1 dash of orange bitters TABLE 6. APERITIFS

8 6 dashes of Peychaud’s bitters 1D12 APERITIF
2 dashes of Angostura bitters,
1 Dry vermouth
9 2 dashes of orange bitters,
1 dash of cocoa/chocolate/mole bitters 2 Sweet vermouth

1 dash of Peychaud’s bitters, 3 Vermouth bianco

10 1 dash of celery bitters, Quinquina
4
1 dash of orange bitters (L.N. Mattei Cap Corse, Cocchi Americano, Dubonnet, Byrrh, etc.)
5 Aperol
TABLE 4. GARNISHES
6 Campari
2D6 GARNISH 2D6 GARNISH
1 lemon peel, expressed & 7 Amaro Averna
2 Flag garnish 8
dropped into the glass 8 Amaro Montenegro
1 orange peel, 1 lemon peel, expressed & 9 Amaro Nonino Quintessentia
3 9
expressed & discarded discarded
10 Cynar
1 orange peel,
1 orange slice or wheel, 11 Fernet-Branca
4 expressed & dropped 10
your choice 12 Your personal favorite aperitivo (or reroll, if you have none)
into the glass
1 lime wedge or wheel,
5 1 cherry 11
your choice
1 cherry & 1 slice of
1 sprig of mint, clapped
orange
6 12 between your hands &
NOTE: Muddle if in
dropped into the glass
Old-Fashioned build
7 No garnish
TABLE 7. SYRUPS* TABLE 9. LIQUEURS
1D12 SYRUP 1D20 LIQUEUR
1 Simple syrup 1 Amaretto or Disaronno
2 Demerara syrup 2 Anise-flavored liqueur
3 Honey syrup 3 Cherry liqueur
4 Maple syrup 4 Coffee liqueur
Berry syrup 5 Crème de banane
5
(strawberry, raspberry, whatever berries you have on hand)
6 Crème de cacao
6 Cinnamon syrup
7 Crème de cassis
7 Ginger syrup
8 Crème de menthe
8 Rosemary syrup
9 Crème de noyaux
9 Cream of Coconut
10 Crème de violette
10 Falernum
11 Dry or blue curaçao, your choice
11 Grenadine
12 Elderflower liqueur
12 Orgeat
13 Frangelico
*syrup recipes are not included in this game. One might argue that this results in the
14 Grand Marnier or other brandy-based orange liqueur
game being less consistent, but Rules Don’t Matter is a pretty hip phrase these days so
I’m going to call this a feature not a bug. 15 Honey liqueur
16 Italicus
TABLE 8. ACID 17 Maraschino liqueur
1D2 18 Sloe gin
ACID
(COIN) 19 Triple sec
1 Lemon juice 20 Umeshu
2 Lime juice
Vinegar of some sort TABLE 10. RIMS
(I’d recommend starting with ¼ of the recipe volume and 1D6 RIM
adjusting from there, as vinegars can be quite intense.
More precision would probably be helpful, but since you 1 Rim your glass with salt
3 can’t get a third face while flipping a coin I sort of feel like 2 Rim your glass with sugar
this is fine? I mean I could also have offered some other Rim your glass with a 50/50 blend of
acid options like acidified pineapple juice but I mean who 3
chipotle powder and smoked salt
really wants to make acidified pineapple juice you know?
Rim your glass with a 50/50 blend of
Yeah, this is probably fine.) 4
powdered cinnamon and brown sugar
Rim your glass with a 50/50 blend of
5
ground Szechuan peppercorns and salt
Rim your glass with melted chocolate and pulverized
6
graham cracker crumbs

TABLE 11. EGG

1D6 EGG
1-2 Egg white only, from 1 fresh egg
3-4 Egg yolk only, from 1 fresh egg
5-6 1 whole egg, fresh
TABLE 12. FOAM GARNISHES
1D6 FOAM GARNISH
Add 5 drops of Angostura bitters on foam and run a pick
1
through them to make a design
Add 5 drops of Peychaud’s bitters on foam and run a pick
2
through them to make a design
Float edible flowers or dehydrated citrus wheel on foam.
3 These don’t add an aromatic or taste component and are
purely for visual effect, so take your pick.
Take 1 leaf of an appropriate herb, like mint of sage, clap it
4
between your hands, and float on foam
5 Lightly toast 1 star anise until fragrant, then float on foam
Float coffee beans, cocoa powder, or matcha powder on
6
foam, your choice

TABLE 13. HERBAL LIQUEURS

1D4 HERBAL LIQUEUR
1 Galliano
2 Benedictine
Yellow Chartreuse or Strega;
3
whichever liqueur is more accessible to you
Green Chartreuse or Dolin Génépy le Chamois;
4
whichever liqueur is more accessible to you
TABLE 14. GIMMICK BUILD
1D6 GIMMICK
1 Hot Toddy build
2 Shark Bite build
3 Espresso Martini build
4 Izakaya Highball build
5 Frozen Daiquiri build
6 Prairie Oyster build
GLASSWARE RECIPE
Add hot water to your mug, wait until mug is hot, and then discard water. Add:
 Follow the instructions for Bitters on TABLE 3. BITTERS
Heat resistant  ¾ oz. / 15 ml syrup (roll on TABLE 7. SYRUPS)
mug  ¾ oz. / 15 ml acid (roll on TABLE 8. ACID)
 1.5 oz. / 45 ml Spirit (roll on TABLE 5. SPIRITS)
Top off the mug with hot water and stir to incorporate.
To your shaker tin, add:
 ¾ oz. / 20 ml syrup (roll on TABLE 7. SYRUPS)
 ¾ oz. / 20 ml acid (roll on TABLE 8. ACID)
 ½ oz. / 15 ml blue curaçao
 ¾ oz. / 15 ml white or coconut rum, your choice
Any glass
 ¾ oz. / 15 ml Spirit (roll on TABLE 5. SPIRITS)
Shake with ice, and then strain into your glass.
 Fill a hollow plastic shark with ¼ oz. of grenadine and perch the shark on
the glass. The drinker should then pour the grenadine from the shark into
the drink while playing the Jaws theme.
To a mixing glass, add:
 ¾ oz. / 20 ml syrup (roll on TABLE 7. SYRUPS)
 1 oz. / 30 ml espresso or cold brew concentrate, whatever is available
Coupe glass
 1.5 oz. / 45 ml Spirit (roll 1d4 on TABLE 5. SPIRITS)
Shake with ice until slightly foamy, and then strain into your coupe glass.
 Add foam garnish (roll on TABLE 12. FOAM GARNISHES)
To your highball glass, add ice to the top, then add:
 1 oz. / 30 ml Spirit (roll on TABLE 5. SPIRITS)
Highball glass  4 oz. / 120 ml soda water
Stir to incorporate.
 Add garnish (roll on TABLE 4. GARNISHES)
To your blender, add:
 1.5 cups / 350 ml ice
 2 oz. / 60 ml syrup (roll on TABLE 7. SYRUPS)
Any glass  1.5 oz. / 45 ml acid (roll on TABLE 8. ACID)
 4 oz. / 120 ml Spirit (roll on TABLE 5. SPIRITS)
Pulse until mixed, and pour into glass.
 Add garnish (roll on TABLE 4. GARNISHES)
To your rocks glass, add:
 Some component of your egg (roll on TABLE 11. EGG)
 1 dash of hot sauce
Rocks glass  1 tsp. / 5 ml Worcestershire sauce
 2 pinches of whatever powder you get on TABLE 10. RIMS
The player with this order should then gulp the whole thing down in one
swallow, without sharing with other players.