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SUBJECT:
VALUES EDUCATION 3
(CHRISTIAN HOME)

COURSE: BSBA

TOPICS:
MODULE 5

Passion, Intimacy and Commitment

in Marriage 1

IAN JAY RATILLA

Instructor
Activity/Reflection
Provide each an example of Sternberg’s theory of Love.

1. Passion
Infatuation
The third type of love that Sternberg introduces is infatuated love, which is
when the passion component of love is present in a relationship, but the
intimacy and decision/commitment components are not (Sternberg, 1986).
Sternberg places "love at first sight" in this category of love, which
according to him involves "a high degree of psychophysiological arousal,
manifested in somatic symptoms such as increased heartbeat or even
palpitations of the heart, increased hormonal secretions, erection of
genitals (penis or clitoris), and so on" (Sternberg, 1986, p.124).
This kind of love develops very quickly, without time for any intimate
feelings to grow or for a commitment to be made (Sternberg, 1986).

2. Intimacy
Liking (also called friendship)
The second type of love that Sternberg introduces is liking, which is
when the intimacy component of love is present in a relationship, but
the passion and decision/commitment components are not
(Sternberg, 1986).
According to Sternberg, liking involves feelings of "closeness,
bondedness, and warmth toward the other, without feelings of intense
passion or long-term commitment" (Sternberg, 1986, p. 123).
Liking can be seen in the relationships in our lives that we refer to as
friendships (Sternberg, 1986).
As we all know, friendships can exist at different levels, and according to
Sternberg, if any other components of love are present in a friendship, then
it is not considered liking but is considered a different kind of love
(Sternberg, 1986).
Therefore, only friendships that lack the passion and
decision/commitment components of love are considered to be the kind of
love labeled as liking.
 3. Commitment
Empty Love
The fourth type of love that Sternberg introduces is empty love, which
is when the decision/commitment component of love is present in a
relationship, but the intimacy and passion components are not (Sternberg,
1986).
This type of love can commonly be found in some long-term
relationships where the couple has lost feelings for one another.
However, Sternberg points out an interesting phenomenon regarding
this kind of love: that "in our society we are most accustomed to empty love
as it occurs as a final or near-final stage of a long term relationship", but "in
other societies, empty love may be the first stage of a long-term
relationship" (such as in an arranged marriage) (Sternberg, 1986, p. 124).