“Oorah!

Women love a man in uniform, huh? Our. uniforms. Right on, man. You waiting for your
luggage? Did anyone to your knowledge tamper with it? And by tamper with it, I think I mean
touch it in any way. Yeah, I know, I’m just supposed to ask that. You ever thrown a puppy off a
cliff? Yeah, right, I know, I know, you guys just got a bad rep. I coulda been a soldier. Nah, I
couldn’t have. Too many rules. Rules with this job, too. I mean rules, right? Around here they
smoke your ass for breaking rules, for not paying attention. And by ‘smoke your ass, I don’t
mean like murder or kill or annihilate, I mean fire. You ever been fired? Me neither. Except from
my last job. It was stupid. So you’re not supposed to look at porn while you’re at work. So what?
You remove the mild social stigma, and what’s the big deal anyways? It’s just two people doing
it. I was lonely, you know? I’m lonely. Or I was. Not lonely anymore though, got a fiancee. Yeah,
she said yes. They gave me this ‘stick’ thing. It’s made of, um, I want to say something
comparable to the outside of an old microwave, but in stick form. It’s for in case I come across
any suspicious characters, like yourself.