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The BELL rings. The CHILDREN rush out the door, but a fairly
tall kid named CLINT takes his time bookmarking his place in
his book, closing his book, and packing it up. He stands up
and walks out the door.
Clint starts walking towards the bus line on the opposite end
of the building. His friend RAYMOND calls out to Clint.
RAYMOND
Hey! Clint!
CLINT
(Delighted)
Ah. Hello Raymond. How was your day?
Raymond sighs.
RAYMOND
It was... okay. Science sucked,
though. Mr. Hill was really mad about
losing his watch and just made us copy
notes for the whole time.
CLINT
(Empathetic)
Ooh. That had to hurt.
RAYMOND
Yeah. My hand felt cramped for an hour
after.
CLINT
Ouch.
RAYMOND
Yeah. How about your day?
CLINT
It was actually pretty good. We had a
sub for health class and he just
turned on a movie.
RAYMOND
Oh nice. What movie?
CLINT
I don't want to say. References kinda
feel overdone in movies today.
RAYMOND
Yeah. Even just saying the name feels
old at this point.
RAYMOND
Hey, Ross! How's it going?
ROSS
It's goin' well. You?
RAYMOND
I'm doin' pretty well, all things
considered.
ROSS
Cool.
RAYMOND
Well, I'ma head on. See ya.
ROSS
See ya.
CLINT
Anyways...
CLINT
(As if to remember)
So how long have you and your
girlfriend been together?
RAYMOND
Uhh... about... 65 weeks, 5 days...
RAYMOND (CONT'D)
14 hours, 37 minutes, and 36.4295
seconds.
Clint chuckles.
CLINT
That's a pretty precise measurement.
RAYMOND
Yep.
CLINT (CONT'D)
Man, this construction work they're
doing seems pretty unnecessary.
CLINT (CONT'D)
This school's been doing fine-- lately--
CLINT
Hello? Anyone here?
CLINT
(Freaked out)
What the--
JEFFREY
(As if expecting Clint)
Hello Clint.
CLINT
(Trembling)
Wha- Who are you? Where is everyone?
JEFFREY
I am the ultimate healer. The resolver
to everyone's internal issues, and the
effects they have on others.
CLINT
So-- like a surgeon?
JEFFREY
(Semi-frustrated)
What? No. I heal fears and
inhibitions.
CLINT
A therapist?
Jeffrey sighs.
JEFFREY
(Annoyed)
I guess if that's what works in your
mind, sure. I'm a therapist of sorts.
CLINT
Ah. That makes sense.
CLINT
So-- is this gonna cost me anything?
JEFFREY
(Frustrated)
No, this is not going to cost you
anything. I am doing this out of my
own good will.
CLINT
Okay, cool.
CLINT
So, do we need to get a couch in here
or something?
JEFFREY
(Practically mad)
No! I'm not a literal therapist; I
just want to help!
CLINT
Oh cool.
CLINT
Another question. Why do you look like
me?
JEFFREY
The best therapy is done when the
patient gets the sense that they're
doing this to themselves. In reality,
I have no concrete physical form. I
manifest as the person I'm healing to
make my point more impactful. It makes
me effectively mortal, but the results
from the people I've healed are
extraordinary.
CLINT
Oh. Okay.
CLINT
One more question. Um-- What illness
are you ridding me of?
JEFFREY
Your extremely short attention span.
CLINT
(Confused)
My attention span? Lots of people have
short attention spans. Why pick me?
JEFFREY
Because your attention span is
practically crippling. You can't stand
stopping to appreciate something
because you have to continue onward to
other things. If you don't get a
problem right when it first runs
through your mind, you leave it. You
finish tests and projects twice as
fast as anyone else, but they're
usually four times as bad as anyone
else's. When your friends hang out
with you, they have a hard time
keeping you on one topic just because
you get bored of it so quickly. They
end up having to go your pace to even
have a bit of fun with you. Raymond is
the only one who can keep up with you,
but even he loses track sometimes. You
need to learn to slow down.
CLINT
(Snapping back to reality)
What? Oh, sorry. Kinda zoned out
there. What'd you say?
JEFFREY
Your attention span is dangerously
short. That's why you're here. I'm
keeping you here until you learn to
keep your mind on something for more
than 15 seconds. When you prove you
can stay on something for longer than
that, you may exit through that
doorway and return to the exact point
in time you left.
JEFFREY
Until then, you stay here.
CLINT
(In realization)
Oh-- crap.
CLINT
When can I get out?
JEFFREY
When I can see that you've spent long
enough on something.
CLINT
Well, I've been thinking on one topic
for the last few minutes.
JEFFREY
And what topic is that?
CLINT
Well, it's-- uh-- hold on. I just had
it.
JEFFREY
Exactly. Try again when you have
something to show for it.
JEFFREY
You are aware that you're just gonna
teleport back here?
CLINT
I know.
JEFFREY
Then what are you-
JEFFREY
Welp, guess you got me.
Jeffrey coughs.
JEFFREY
I guess you remembered my slight
mortality. I knew that would come to
haunt me someday.
JEFFREY
I guess that's as good a proof as any
that you've improved. Go. Leave me.
JEFFREY
Don't feel bad. I'm not really human.
All I can do now is just-
Jeffrey coughs.
JEFFREY
Die.
Jeffrey dies.
RAYMOND
The construction work seems pretty--
what?
CLINT
Oh. It just seems fairly unnecessary.
The school isn't falling apart or
anything. We're fine right now.
RAYMOND
Well that's a first.
CLINT
What?
RAYMOND
You actually finished the thought you
were on before...
RAYMOND
Before you zoned out, I guess.
CLINT
Huh. I guess I did.
THE END
_______