Action plans or merely complains

By Quratulain Altaf Husain

The Intimacy Coach

After having recognized what is destroying, upsetting or contributing towards deterioration of

our intimate relationships with our husbands, what are we doing about it?

Are we the solution oriented type or the always at effect (blaming and playing victim) type?

Even if we are the latter we have to consciously become the former; the solution oriented type
for which we would need to

1- Devise action plans keeping the problem, solution and all the variables involved, in mind
2- Act upon that plan
3- Revise and re-implement if anything goes wrong and the outcome is not achieved

Why do I say we need to revise and re-implement the action plan? Because we make the change
happen for something that has a big enough WHY; “Why I am willing to take action to change
something in me/the situation/the event.”

Once you deliberately program and wire your brain to take action, it automatically starts looking
for solutions, theories and everything that could help you develop an effective plan to reach your
desired outcome.

Steps to develop an action plan

1- Identify issues you need to deal with

2- Identify changes that you need to make (in your thoughts, actions, routines etc.)
3- Prioritize them in order of importance
4- Determine which ones you can deal with simultaneously
5- What steps you need to take to effectively achieve the desired outcome (make sure that
the steps are exactly what you need. For example, you need to make your husband feel
that you do take his thoughts into consideration. You need to first identify how exactly he
sees consideration, in what matters he mainly requires consideration of his thoughts, what
 words would make him feel his thoughts have been considered, what actions he would
perceive as being done keeping his thoughts also in mind and eventually you will
combine all the responses to these answers to formulate a behaviour which in turn would
achieve a desired outcome).

Developing action plans and being solution oriented may be a bit tough as it requires slight
rewiring of the brain; changes in beliefs and thinking processes. However tricky it maybe it is
coachable. Message me to learn how to develop action plans after having identified solutions for
problems that need attention in an intimate relationship.