Crack!

+ #4

By Nobboc

Play the Baddies

Let’s focus on one of the most denigrated folk of the dungeonverse ecosystem:
goblins! These little fuckers are so ubiquitous they can have more than one job
in a commoners’ party.

Goblin
A little green-greyish creature, you like everything shiny, cruel pranks, being a pest, deceiv-
ing your friends, and generally making a mess. You’re mischievous and noisy, and tend to be
joyfully fascinated by everything gloomy and morbid.
Choose a sub-job (yeah, sub-jobs are a thing in CRACK!, starting now):

Goblin Riff-Raff Goblin Knight

The common goblin commoner.
You know the type.
- Health Peak: d6. Get Better: 70 XP
- SAVE: 13, +2 at ranks 5, 9, 13 etc.
- Add your rank when attempting sneaky
moves and surprise attacks.
- Lucky bastard: you can use the LUC Rule
twice per session and decrease your LUC
score only once. (If your ref doesn’t use the
LUC rule, you can reroll any die once per
session and per rank.)
Goblin Warlock
You have stared into the Dark Pool way
too long or peeked when one of the Sin-
ister Lords was doing Evil Shit, and you
paid the price. But you have funky powers
now so yay!
- Health Peak: d4. Get Better: 125 XP
- SAVE: 13, +2 at ranks 6, 11, 16, etc.
- You can cast spells like a magicker (except
your spell book is tattooed on your body).
Start with one spell from the list below.
- You cannot wear armour above leather or
use shields.
You have been blessed by the Queen of the
Black Court of Anti-Faerie and been given
a suit of dark plate armour, all spikey and
weird and cool! You try to marry your
unrestrainable nature with the behaviour
of the knights of legend (that you overplay
in a grotesque manner.)
- Health Peak: d8. Get Better: 120 XP
- SAVE: 14, +2 at ranks 4, 7, 10 etc.
- Add your rank to hit OR damage roll when
attacking creatures (choose before rolling).
- Any blade you wield is inexplicably coated
with vomitbug venom. Each hit after the
first gives the target a cumulative -1 to hit,
until they make an AC 12 roll (CON).
- At 5th rank, you find your knight’s mount.
It can be a giant toad, a smiling pig, a mu-
tant slug... You decide.

1
 Goblin Warlock Spells Goblin Equipment
1- Corrosive Snot: blow your nose violently - Bag of vermin, 5gp
and spray a target close by. They take 1d4 - Barbed arrows (20, 1d4 damage when
damage per turn for as many turns as your removed), 5gp
rank. - Bladder of cursed ‘water’, 25gp
2- Helpful Dead: point at the corpse of - Deafening firecrackers (10), 20gp
a creature of a lower rank than yours. It - Hornet blowgun (10 hornets, 1 damage
comes to life and fights for 1d4+rank com- plus unbearable pain), 20gp
bat turns before going back to a deserved - Stink bombs (10), 10gp
eternal rest. - Tamed rat (spend time teaching it simple
3. Demonic Fart: you stink out a small tricks), 10gp
area around you for a number of combat - Tinykin disguise, 25gp
turns equal to your rank x 3. All non-gob-
linoids must roll (CON, AC 12) or exit the
area.
4. Green Vomit: you cover a nearby target
with a stinky, slimy, smelly substance. They
must save (WIS, AC 14) or be paralysed
with shock for 1d4 combat turns.
Come up with your own magical nonsense,
or check Cacklecharm’s d8 Goblin Warlock
Spells, p.46 of KNOCK! #2.

Hooks
1 - Bugbear Security neutralised with extreme prejudice a group of adventurers who’d made
it to level 3 of the dungeon. Unfortunately, it seems that a tinykin managed to escape. He is
reportedly back to level 1, wearing a ring of invisibility, looting the remaining treasure. All
the staff are busy, so it’s up to you to finish the job. Since you are new to the dungeon (and
goblins), no one has taken the time to explain where the traps are, or to warn the wandering
monsters that you aren’t scouts from the competition. Good luck.

2 - It is said that the lost Temple of the Righteous Light or whatever is full of treasure.
Enough to allow a band of resourceful goblins to buy their way to the deepest level of the
dungeon and start a life of leisure. Rumours also mention the ghosts of White Templars,
the protective glyphs against evil (that somehow work against goblins), the death traps,
and the band of adventurers on their way to protect the temple from an invasion by
the forces of evil.

3 – High Sorceress Bürdikoxikath is dead. Someone mixed the wrong ingredient into her
Morning Tea of Eternal Middle-Age. Every former apprentice, jealous colleague, and aca-
demic rival has hopped on a broom or summoned a transport tornado and is on their way
to plunder Bürdikoxikath’s tower. By a twist of fate, you have been hired by Zaratazarat the
Mage, an incompetent magicker with only two things going for him: a key to the tower’s back
door and an hour headstart before the others show up.