What is Social Grace?

[1]Defined by Jamie (2017), Social Graces are skills used to interact politely in social
situations. They include manners and etiquette.

Manners vs. Etiquette

Manners are behaviors that reflect s person’s attitude. These are the merits you develop
as you age. It is discretionary, meaning you may choose the manners that you may or
may not have.

Etiquettes are code of conduct and a set of societal rules that acts as a catalyst for
positive human interactions. In other words, etiquettes are the conducts that the society
requires you to uphold in order for us to dwell with everyone else in harmony, thus is
compulsory. Moreover, etiquette is having the ability to easily apply the unwritten and
written code of conduct and to interact easily and appear effortless. Having the ability
to make someone feel comfortable while talking to you.

These manners and etiquette vary in specifications as to culture, status and other
measures. This means that what we consider socially acceptable in our culture as
Igorots may not be acceptable to the Tagalogs or Ilocanos. And vice-versa as well. For
example, in the lowlands, when youngsters see their elders they have to pay their respect
through the act of “mano”. Meanwhile, in our culture, we don’t apply that though there
are some who adapted this type of culture. Saying “Hello” or asking “Kumusta ka?” with
a smile is enough. Thus, when we go to the lowlands and see elders we have to do the
act of mano as well since we are in their area. The saying goes, “When you go to Rome,
do what the Romans do”. Also, in our country, it is okay for us to eat using our hands.
Meanwhile, in western countries, they don’t do such. Thus, when they visit our country,
they find it mannerless for us to be eating with our hands.
[2]Also, social grace is defined by Angela Marshall. She defined social graces as body
language, appearance and behavior apart from manners and etiquette.
Body language
The process of communicating nonverbally through conscious or unconscious gestures
and movements. It is using of physical behaviors to convey information. It includes facial
expressions, body posture, eye movement, touch and the use of space. For example,
when someone you are rolled their eyes while you are talking, it means that she doesn’t
agree to what are you saying.

Appearance
Appearance is basically how an individual looks; how you dress, how you style yourself
to communicate information or send signals. For instance, someone invited you out for
a date. On the day of the said date, you appeared groggy. If you are the one who invited,
what would his/her appearance mean to you? It would probably mean that he/she is
not interested in you.

Behavior
Behavior is how one acts or conducts oneself, especially toward others. These are
actions usually measured by commonly accepted behaviors. So when someone says that
“You are being disrespectful towards older people”, what does this imply about your
behavior? It means that your behavior towards older people is not right since it is
unquestionable that we have to respect our elders.
One example of commonly accepted behavior is to clean your tables off when eating in
restaurants. Thus, if you don’t do such, then there is something wrong with your
behavior.